***RKMBS SURVIVOR*** (Week One)

"Eighteen people have joined us here today, in the south Matta-Titty-Titty-Bang-Bang seas."

"Our destination: the unholy and sodomistic outskirts of the RKMBS."

"Locals call it a lair of unclean spirits and unwelcome...perhaps even banned...refugees, who come here looking to escape the overwhelming pressure of conformity and good taste. They say it is unlivable, citing that even the smallest of personalities do not escape being devoured by homosexual inneundo, and tired dick jokes."

"They say it is home to a number of strange, forbidden creatures...most notably, the sweaty lump of molestation that is the legendary thing called 'LLance'. Visitors should be wary of his touch...giggly like the Pillsbury Doughboy, but, the smell...the smell lasts a lifetime."

"But, the RKMBS is also home to another local legend. One that permeats and shadows the entire land. He is said to stand fifty-feet-high, and shoot fire from his arse...possessed of a wisdom unseen since the days of Solomon the Great....and an inherent knowledge of Batman that rivals the greatest of Fanboys."

"Some locals would have you believe he is a stranded traveler from the future. Others would convince you he is the beast of Biblical endtimes. And, one lone female from New Jersey would declare him to be a sexual powerhouse, with skills to pay the bills."

"Whatever the truth, he is called, simply, 'Rob'."

"And, these eighteen brave...perhaps foolish...souls are about to spend the next thirty days in his home."

"They are alone, with no help from anyone but each other."

"And, one by one, they choose to eliminate the other, until, there is only one left..."

"...one survivor of the RKMBS..."

"I'm Jeff Pro. Welcome to Gob Island."

-[cue faux tribal music from an 80's synthesizer, adding a snare beat for no apparent reason]-

Balloon Knot

BeardGuy 57

BSAMS

Chewy Walrus

Chris Oakley

Crawfordcrow

DarkKnight316

Glacier16

Joe Mama

Klinton

MrJLA

Nowhereman

PenWing

PJP

Rex

Sneaky Bunny

StupidDoog

Uschi

*****************************************************************************************

"Welcome."

"I'll be your host for this game. If you have any questions, I'll be back in my suite, getting head from some nice intern named Larry.....I mean, Linda. Right."

"Anyway, the RULES to the game are simple:

IMMUNITY POLL
-I will set a task up in a thread. That task-thread will be active and
open for exactly FIVE (5) days from the time I start it.
Whatever task I assign you will be up to you to complete in that alloted
time period. Any and all answers/accomplishments will be posted in that
thread and/or PMed to me (I will state which when I assign the task).
At the end of that task, I will then create an adjacent 'IMMUNITY POLL', where each of you will vote for who you think performed the best, or,
gave the best results. The winning vote will give that person immunity
from the 'Survivor Vote' that will come once the immunity has been cho-
sen. Each 'IMMUNITY POLL' will be open for FIVE (5) days from the
moment I start it. And, take note, if you don't participate in the
tasks, that's up to you. This is for everyone else to decide whether to
keep you around or not.
SURVIVOR POLL
-Once the immunity has been chosen, a poll will be set up, and every
player will have the chance to vote one of their own off. Each 'SURVIVOR
POLL' will last for FIVE (5) days from the moment I create it. All
results are final, and I will have the final say if there is a dis-
crepancy due to Alt-Id cheating.

(NOTE: The time lengths of the polls/tasks may be altered once games begin, but ONLY if it is a majority consensus. We have to be flexible with the length the polls are open, as most people have lives outside of this, and may not have a chance to vote. If for any reason anyone cannot make a vote in time, or, if five days are up, and I see we are missing at least one person's vote, I will bring it forward to be decided whether to keep the poll open to wait, or not.)
VOTING
-When you make your vote on the poll, you MUST either (A) reply in
the given thread, simply with the word "VOTED", or, (B) send me a PM
that states the same. If you do not confirm your vote either way, it
will be considered an Alt-Vote, and subtracted from the whole.

In the end, I will do my best to try and keep track of Alt-ID use. But, I cannot fully eliminate it. I'm hoping that everyone will just play fair, and enjoy the sport of a simple game. If you have some innate desire to impress others with your ability to cheat, well, there's nothing I can do to stop you. But, keep in mind, if I think the game has been won by using Alt-ID's, I retain the right to ask Rob to not award the final prize. Just a thought.

If there are no questions, let's begin...

TASK ONE

-To begin, let's do something simple.

I wants each of you to post your real name, and, simply convince everyone why you should be the ultimate RKMBS Survivor. Please, keep it shorter than fifty-words.

Let the games begin....

This Task Ends on Friday, May 26, 2005

My name is David Finn. There are a few reasons why I should win this. First of all, I live about an hour away from Chris Oakley - do you realize how easy it would be to just drive up there and off him? I do. Secondly, everyone's expecting the ladies to win. But have the ladies done anything for you? No, they haven't - Uschi says she'll show you pictures of her pussy, but you know she'll renege. And Sneaky Bunny's been promising pictures of herself for months, but we have nothing to show for it. You should vote for a man, and what better man than the one who posted the first official picture than Harleykwin? Beside, while PJP threatens you all with his NJ goombas, I offer protection from them in the form of my North End Dagos.

Quote:

PJP said:I thought you were a socialist who supports handouts.

I think you have me confused with my alt id. "

Quote:

Anyhoo godamn it DK you got this thread off topic....

I've been well trained at doing that.

My Name is Roy Kerns,

The Reason I should win is because I am a Pretty Princess. And the Sickest SOB in these here Boards.

Quote:

Balloon Knot said:
because I am a Pretty Princess

Yes...but are you wiling to bribe Prom with pictures of your pussy?

Yes but only if he asks nicely

My real name is Brian Jonopulos and I should win because I suggested we have this forum.
And because rob is gay.

Quote:

Joe Mama said:
And Sneaky Bunny's been promising pictures of herself for months, but we have nothing to show for it.

my good man, i've posted a couple clips. and as i mentioned in thread i need software (ilife for PC) to access my pictures on my ipod. also, if rapidshare could host my ass massive clips there'd be more.

that said, my name is shannon laura thomasina messer (long enough?) I should be the RKMBs survivor because:
i'm not uschi - i'm not a tricked out tranny
if i win pictures will be invovled. and if i win, free tshirthell shirts for those who support me.
all bribary aside, if i win, i will start previewing my posts.
but besides that, i'm not bringing anything else to the table at this moment.

My name is Nowhereman & I should win because if I dont,I will kill all you useless fucking cunts!

My name is Keith. Lets be honest, what exactly have I done for these boards? Nada. Besides being a cock block to David, Pete, and Klinton regarding Harleykwin and for being the main contributor to the independent sector of the writers forum. However, as long as I'm still in this I will be using every vote to get rid of Chris Oakley because he's a useless twat.

Quote:

Stupid Doog said:
My name is Keith. Lets be honest, what exactly have I done for these boards? Nada. Besides being a cock block to David, Pete, and Klinton regarding Harleykwin and for being the main contributor to the independent sector of the writers forum. However, as long as I'm still in this I will be using every vote to get rid of Chris Oakley because he's a useless twat.

I vote for boobies. Take that as you wish.

My name is Brad and I am the resident hockey guy. OK, so there hasn't been much hockey to talk about, but I got Jafabian to write a biweekly baseball column, and the rest of my time has gone into the RDCW. That's got to count for something.

I would say who I want to vote off but that person might throw a hissy fit.

oh come on tell us

[image]http://graphics.ink19.com/issues/february1998/covers/hissy_fit.jpeg[/image]

Quote:

Stupid Doog said:
My name is Keith. Lets be honest, what exactly have I done for these boards? Nada. Besides being a cock block to David, Pete, and Klinton regarding Harleykwin. However, as long as I'm still in this I will be using every vote to get rid of Chris Oakley because he's a useless twat.

pretty much it 'cept my name is Jeff and I don't think I've cock blocked anyone.

You should try it, especially to your friends when they just meet a hot chick. The absolute fury in their eyes is soooooo worth it!

Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination.
Lee Harvey, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us together, forget it. I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I'm gonna volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe. And Sergeant Hulka is always gonna be here to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest, bestest buddy, and big toe... Sergeant Hulka.

No, never convicted.

Quote:

rex said:
My real name is Brian Jonopulos and I should win because I suggested we have this forum.
And because rob is gay.

You know......nobody and I do mean nobody gives a shit that you suggested this forum. Do you think you will get an award or prize money if you keep saying it? If that's your reason for not getting voted off you don't have much of a chance. However, it is agreed that rob is gay. I pissed on his hometown yesterday.

pjp normally i agree with you but not this time, rex should win because he suggested this forum it is so different from the off topic forum! its like 2 diffent forums! the titles are even spelled different!

This forum is gayer than rex..........actually,nothing is gayer than rex,sorry!

not even rob?

Quote:

sneaky bunny said:
not even rob?

We all know Nowhereman was kidding, Nobody is gayer then Rob

not even oakley?

Oakley is the Prince of Gayness, Only Trumped by Rob

I bet he would love to be trumped by Rob!

the gay-man will mediate!

He likes to take action both ways at the same time.

I'm a gay homo too guys.

Me too. Most arabs are spineless pricks. It's who we are. Death to Christianity! Praise Allah!

Happy Birthday Muhamed. Please try to not commit any acts of attrocity today. Thank You.

The tiara looks better on you Roy.

Who are all those people BK?

BK, could you please maybe lower the resolution on the pics you post? And maybe keep the file size around 40kb or less? Thanks.

Stop whining!

oh be happy

Thats okay Pen....I think you're super cool for playing hockey! Always wanted to be on a team......we only played street roller hockey though ;p

That's all I play. I love going out on a hot summer day and catching a pick up game at the skate park.

Quote:

PenWing said:
BK, could you please maybe lower the resolution on the pics you post? And maybe keep the file size around 40kb or less? Thanks.

Could you shut the hell up

Nooooooo Bk, he's a hockey guy...gotta talk to him with respect which is something you really need to cultivate!

What ever happened to the cs intern?

So he's instead of being just as moron, He's a toothles moron.

Still waiting on the intern

Quote:

PrincessElisa said:
Nooooooo Bk, he's a hockey guy...gotta talk to him with respect which is something you really need to cultivate!

It's cool, Princess. I'm not going to get into a flame war over a silly request.

Quote:

PrincessElisa said:
Nooooooo Bk, he's a hockey guy...gotta talk to him with respect which is something you really need to cultivate!

What ever happened to the cs intern?

til he loses his teeth!! OH!

Quote:

PenWing said:
Quote:

PrincessElisa said:
Nooooooo Bk, he's a hockey guy...gotta talk to him with respect which is something you really need to cultivate!

It's cool, Princess. I'm not going to get into a flame war over a silly request.

I wave my private parts at your aunties and your father smells of elderberries!

Now get out of here or I shall taunt you a second time!

Go ahead. Taunt me a second time. And even a third, if it really makes you happy. Just don't come crying to me the next time you need someone to back you up when some loser starts dissing B5.

You shall all die!

My name is Darin and while I may not post in high quantity (since I've got two jobs right now), whenever I do post, everyone's day gets just a little bit brighter.

Apart from that, I have a beautiful ass and a silver tongue that could have convinced Hitler to personally bake brownies for the Ghetto Jews of Eastern Europe.

And, of course, while I happen to be an unbearably noble and upstanding gentleman, I also keep close counsel with the forces of evil...

...'cause, that's how I roll. ...Bitches.

How do you know he wasn't pulling your leg?

Okay......I forgot BK was totally warped till I saw that!

That's an actual video of Bert eating a baby, you know.

He's a commie.

Well, he is on PBS.

...and UPN

And Jesus N Pals

And Jerry Springer.

So now BK posts cute, sweet little pictures? I'm impressed...the therapy has worked ;p

those are lab rat ferrits. They are about to have electrodes attatched to their retums and scrotums.

damn near killed 'em!

I can out survive all of you. Let's see you guys get crucified and rise from the dead. huh. huh. That's what I thought.

you can't play, Jesus! It's too late to sign up for this season!

Maybe so. But I can surely influence the outcome. Things aren't looking too good for you right now.

don't try and bullshit me, Jesus!

We both know Chris Oakley is the first to fall!

Quote:

Stupid Doog said:
don't try and bullshit me, Jesus!

We both know Chris Oakley is the first to fall!

And the First on his Knees

I was gonna vote klinton off first.

Whoa!

Quote:

Balloon Knot said:
Quote:

Stupid Doog said:
don't try and bullshit me, Jesus!

And the First on his Knees

for once that doesn't fall in my hands...i'm glad.

Double Whoa!

So heres a question for ya all.
What the fuck are we doing exactly?

We are posing mean hateful things about each other a stratajising on by how many Vote's Chris Oakley is going to voted of with in the first round while we wait for prometheus to tell us what were doing.

Were (klinton) going (klinton) to (klinton) vote (klinton) posters (klinton) off (klinton) one (klinton) at (klinton) a (klinton) time.

I feel loved!

Were (Chris Oakley) going (Chris Oakley) to (Chris Oakley) vote (Chris Oakley) posters (Chris Oakley) off (Chris Oakley) one (Chris Oakley) at (Chris Oakley) a (Chris Oakley) time.

We're(Balloon Knot) going (Balloon Knot) to (Balloon Knot) vote(Balloon Knot) posters(Balloon Knot) off(Balloon Knot) one(Balloon Knot) at (Balloon Knot) a(Balloon Knot) time(Balloon Knot).

(Two can play at this game.

)

But three are playing. So far.

Good point.

I'm officially withdrawing. I'm gonna be in NY for two weeks without internet access, so I won't be able to participate.

You can't forfeit! We have to vote you off! You're ruining our love for the game!

Yeah, well...tough.

Just vote me off in this first round, if that's going to make it easier for everyone. There' s no point in me being a part of this if I'm not gonna be around for two whole weeks.

if it makes you feel better you wouldn't of made it past the first or second week.

Quote:

Darknight613 said:
Yeah, well...tough.

Just vote me off in this first round, if that's going to make it easier for everyone. There' s no point in me being a part of this if I'm not gonna be around for two whole weeks.

We've already decided to kick off Oakley. I vote to give darknight613 immunity until he comes back.

I agree. He would have probably lasted a couple rounds anyhow.