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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 13,392
[insert non-dated reference here] 10000+ posts
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OP
[insert non-dated reference here] 10000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 13,392 |
C'mon, everyone has one. What's yours?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,203
betrayal and collapse 5000+ posts
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betrayal and collapse 5000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,203 |
There's soooo many to choose from...
...you tell stories, we tell lies.
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot 15000+ posts
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faggot 15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106 |
When it ate the demon's soul.
Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!
Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0
"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921
"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 21
few posts
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few posts
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Posts: 21 |
when I pretended it was my mom and shoved it in my asshole. then licked it clean while masterbating to old Jimmy Dean records!
töten sie alle nicht weißen männer!
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 13,392
[insert non-dated reference here] 10000+ posts
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OP
[insert non-dated reference here] 10000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 13,392 |
My sock puppet witnessed a murder, but he was killed before he could testify.
My left hand has always felt naked ever since.
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618
Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
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Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618 |
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 7,587
7500+ posts
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7500+ posts
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Posts: 7,587 |
HEY! IT'S PRECIOUS ROYYYYY!
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1,978
1500+ posts
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1500+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1,978 |
I remember feeling a sense of tremendous guilt when having informed the police that sock puppet, Sammy the Snake, had been seen sucking on the penis's of underage boys, it was Sammy's owner who was sent to jail for child molestation while Sammy himself was not even charged and slithered away scot-free.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 17,853 Likes: 3
Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 17,853 Likes: 3 |
What you failed to mention is that Sammy is jewish.
I think you're now rubbing your bristled chin and throwing furtive glances at the sock drawer while muttering "now it all makes sense...."
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919
devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,919 |
I remember that time Sock with Romboids Man saved Tokyo from the giant monster: http://www.tvn.cl/programas/31minutos/noticias.asp?id=12680(click on the little TV next to "Tokio")
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 13,392
[insert non-dated reference here] 10000+ posts
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OP
[insert non-dated reference here] 10000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 13,392 |
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 13,392
[insert non-dated reference here] 10000+ posts
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OP
[insert non-dated reference here] 10000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 13,392 |
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 8,970
URG am real man! 7500+ posts
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URG am real man! 7500+ posts
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 8,970 |
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
 ..
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/blogban3.jpg) [/center] [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/jlamiska.jpg) [/center]
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158 |
Blame Canada
Times have changed
Our kids are getting worse
They won't obey their parents
They just want to fart and curse!
Should we blame the government?
Or blame society?
Or should we blame the images on TV?
NO!
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
With all their beady little eyes and flapping heads so full of lies!
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
We need to form a full assault!
It's Canada's fault!
Don't blame me for my son, Stan.
He saw the darn cartoon and now he's off to join the Klan.
And my boy, Eric, once had my picture on his shelf.
But now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself.
WELL...
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
It seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along.
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
They're not even a real country anway.
My son could have been a doctor or a lawyer, it's true.
Instead he burned up like a piggy on a barbecue.
Should we blame the matches?
Should we blame the fire?
Or the doctors who allowed him to expire?
HECK NO!
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
With all their hockey-hullabaloo,
And that bitch Anne Murray too,
Blame Canada!
Shame on Canada, foooor...
The smut we must cut,
The trash we must bash,
The laughter and fun must all be undone!
We must blame them and cause a fuss before somebody thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuus!
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
You Might Be Canadian If...
You substitute beer for water when cooking.
Someone accidently stepped on your foot. You apologize.
You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than on your car.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles a meat processing plant.
The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
You bring a portable TV on a camping trip so that you don't miss Hockey Night.
You think it's normal to have a grain elevator in your backyard.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158 |
An Irish athiest is one who wishes to God he could believe in God.
- John Mahaffy
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158 |
"I am well aware that the gods are envious of human success and prone to disrupt our affairs... in all matters look to the end, and to how it turns out. For many people have enjoyed prosperous happiness as a divine gift, only afterwards to be uprooted utterly."
- Solon of Ancient Greece, quoted by Herodotus in "History"
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
Frank Burns is a twat.
-MisterJLA
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,423
1000+ posts
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1000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,423 |
rex has been suspiciously quiet for this thread
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158 |
Three rednecks were sitting around comparing their wives one day to see who had the dumbest. The first guy said, 'My wife's so dumb, she bought a toilet, and we don't even have running water.'
The second said, 'That's nothing! Mine bought a ceiling fan, and we don't even have electricity.'
The third said, 'Aw, that's nothing! I was goin' through my wife's purse for some whisky money t'other night and found a box of condoms. And you know what? She ain't even got a penis!'
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158 |
One day an engineer is going into a new grocery shop on the outskirts of town. When just inside, he sees a sign which says: 'CONDOMS: SOLD & FITTED.'
He looks around and calls for service. Then, an exceptionally attractive young lady emerges.
'Do you work here?' he asks.
'Yes,' she replied.
'And is the statement on the sign over there true?' The lady leans over the counter and says seductively, 'Yes.'
'Tell me,' he asks, 'who fits them?'
'I do,' said the lady.
'Well,' said the engineer, 'would you please wash your hands and give me a pound of tomatoes?'
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158 |
Jewish telegram:
"Begin worrying. Details to follow."
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158 |
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
243 - Melodies - Made In USA
244 - The Love I Lost - Harold Melvin And The Blue Notes
245 - Sunset People - Donna Summer
246 - Thank God It's Friday - Love and Kisses
247 - Caf - D. D. Sound
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
43 - Boogie Ooogie Oogie - A Taste of Honey
44 - The Best Disco In Town - Ritchie Family
45 - I'm A Man - Macho - Vinyl
46 - Love Insurance - Front Page (Sharon Redd)
47 - Moonboots - ORS (Orlando Riva Sound)
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158 |
acluistic: Not having a clue. Example: Those cable repair guys are acluistic. acrapulate: Word used for describing a large amount of useless junk collected over a period of time . Example: I can't believe how much I've acrapulated over the years. acribit: To increase. Example: There are many ways to acribit your wealth. (P.S. Why would you write, Please use the word you are submitting in the example? Are people honestly that stupid? Err, sorry, forget I said that. 
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158 |
a-game: To do your best effort possible in any endeavor, not just pertaining to sports.
Example: I didn't do to well on that test last week, next time I'm going to bring my A-game.
A-list: A mythical group of weblogs and personal sites (and their creators) who are simply Much Cooler Than You. It is worth noting that (a) no such list actually exists, (b) those who are on the list adamantly deny its existence, and (c) it is not the same as the Cabal. A-list is frequently used in a mocking manner by those who are not members.
Example: Oh, one link from kottke.org and now you go all A-list on us! OR You haven't seen this yet? All the A-listers linked to it.
a-loin: Used in the place alone. Especially leave me alone.
Example: I'm having a bad day, so just leave me a-loin.
A-madnay: (uh-mad-nay) From the French, un moment donné, at a given time.
Example: We really need to catch up. Maybe we could go for coffee a-madnay.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
work excuse
60. Well, you see, my boyfriend's friend's cousin, her mother is a total flake and her three kids are getting taken away by CPS and she is going to jail, and my boyfriend is working, his cousin is out of town and so you can see that I have to stay home and watch them.
61. There has been an urgent family emergency, which I can't talk about lest I endanger any innocent bystanders.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
47. My husband had a vasectomy yesterday and his balls are enlarged, so I need to stay home and help him ice them.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings. ~Earl Wilson
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
The designated hitter rule is like letting someone else take Wilt Chamberlain's free throws. ~Rick Wise, 1974
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
Leon Phelps: But guys you can not blame the wang.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
Oklahoma has more man-made lakes than any other state, with over one million surface acres of water and 2,000 more miles of shoreline than the Atlantic and Gulf coasts combined.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
Fact: Police have trouble keeping their own guns. Hundreds of firearms are missing from the FBI and 449 of them have been involved in crimes
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
M1A Rifle (US - Battle Rifle - 7.62x51mm NATO)
M14E1 (US - Battle Rifle - 7.62x51mm NATO)
M60 (US - GPMG - 7.62 mm NATO)
M60E1 (US - GPMG - 7.62 mm NATO: Prototype)
M60E2 (US - GPMG - 7.62 mm NATO: Co-Axial MG)
M60E3 (US - GPMG - 7.62 mm NATO)
M60E4 (US - GPMG - 7.62 mm NATO)
M75 (US - 40 mm Grenade Launcher)
M79 (US - Grenade Launcher - 40 x 46 mm Grenade)
Barrett M82A1 (US - Semi-Auto Rifle - .50 BMG)
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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about old people
12. You have a party and the neighbours don't even realise it.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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about old people
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
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