RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts I've figured it out

Nevermind.... as soon as I post Oakley will just come in and say something about Bunny then cry because she won't end this flame war.

She started the damn flamewar wannabuyamonkey! Then her pack of jerks tore away my dignity like wolves devour flesh.

It's really sick that the people can't see that the real enemy is the clap ridden skanky bunny and her buttsuck winged crapture!

If you don't agree I'll punch you in the face then sodomize you!

What have you figured out? Please tell us!

It's probably about Sneaky Bunny's quest to destroy me no doubt.

* A quest that is now sure to intensify thanks to NurikoK's ill-timed apology and the profusion of alt IDs trying to pass themselves off as me.

Let's punch her in the face!

Me?

*No, Sneaky Bunny and her squad of jerks!

jerks....I'd like YOU to JERK something for ME.

*And if you bring it up again I'll punch you in the face!

I've figured it out.

I figured out who Chris Oakley really is a few days ago. Took me two hours! Probably why I didn't admit it until now.

So what your saying is that you want in on our orgy next time?

Which Chris Oakley?

I'm actully Chris Oakley III.*

oh don't wory i'm big enough for enough licking for all of you

Two-timer!

a buck three eighty: The price for anything.
Example: Q: How much is this, sir? A: That's a buck three eighty.


a case of the ass or redass: Highly annoyed, pissed off. Currently used in US Army.
Example: Sergeant Greenfield has this huge case of the ass with me ever since I wrecked his humvee.


a couple two three: I guess this means two or three. (We don't say this in Chicago. It's a weird thing they say out west or something.)
Example: He had a couple two three dogs in his yard.

Monkeys do not like to be touched (unless instructed to do so by Monkey)
Do not make direct eye contact with Monkey for more than 4 seconds
Monkeys have an IQ of 174 .
Monkeys have no patience
Monkeys love to be massaged, however, do not rub Monkeys the wrong way
Monkeys can and will exhibit outbursts of sudden and deadly rage if provoked
Most monkeys are very dangeruos and some are not.
Monkeys can weigh up to 100 pounds or 45 kgs.. Their tails can be as long as 3 feet. They have opposable thumbs.
Monkeys can live in trees, grasslands, mountains , forests or on high plains
Monkeys eat fruit, grass, leaves, eggs, insects and spiders.
Hawks, people and eagles are predators of monkeys.
A group of monkeys is called a troop.
The loudest monkey is the Howler Monkey.
There are about 125 species of monkeys.

work excuse

115.  Work....I didn't want to be late for work again today so I called in sick instead!

 

116.  This excuse has been used by myself several times. I'll be out today or late, I woke up dizzy (I suffer from vertigo).

 

117.  Please excuse Henry for being late. He was stuck in the bathroom without any toilet paper.

 

118.  I can't come into work today. There is a cat sitting on the fence outside more door and he won't let me out. It looks like he will attack me if I go outside!


No game in the world is as tidy and dramatically neat as baseball, with cause and effect, crime and punishment, motive and result, so cleanly defined. ~Paul Gallico

It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. ~A. Bartlett Giamatti, "The Green Fields of the Mind," Yale Alumni Magazine, November 1977

Leon Phelps: Ya know, when a man works hard his entire life enduring hundreds of ladies, many of whom he does not even remember you'd like to think that at the end of the day he will be given a lot of money, without having had to earn it.

Oklahoma ranks fourth in the nation in the production of all wheat, fourth in cattle and calf production; fifth in the production of pecans; sixth in peanuts and eighth in peaches.

Fact: Violent crime started falling in 1991, three years before passage of the Brady law. The Brady law did not apply in 18 states, yet violent crime in those states fell just as quickly.4

Fact: Most fatal firearm accidents involve long guns, which are more deadly. These are typically hunting accidents.

Fact: Handguns have triggers that are difficult for small (child) hands to operate, and are rarely the cause of accidents.

Chinese Type 54 Pistol (China - Pistol - 7.62 x 25 mm)
Chinese Type 64 Pistol (China - Pistol - 7.62 x 17 mm: Suppressed)
Chinese Type 67 Pistol (China - Pistol - 7.62 x 17 mm: Suppressed)
Chinese Type 77 Pistol (China - Pistol - 7.62 x 17 mm)
Chinese Type 80 Pistol (China - Machine Pistol - 7.62 x 25 mm)
Chinese Type 59 Pistol (China - Pistol - 9 x 18 mm)
Chinese Type 63 Rifle (China - Assault Rifle - 7.62 x 39 mm)
Chinese Type 64 Pistol (China - Pistol - 7.62 x 17 mm: Suppressed)
Chinese Type 67 Pistol (China - Pistol - 7.62 x 17 mm: Suppressed)
Chinese Type 77 Pistol (China - Pistol - 7.62 x 17 mm)
Chinese Type 80 Pistol (China - Machine Pistol - 7.62 x 25 mm)

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.

Mr Garrison (on women's period): I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
South Park

Cartman: Mom--Kitty is being a dildo.
Mrs. Cartman: Well, I know a little kitty who is sleeping with Mommy tonight.
South Park

Many conspiracy theories have been presented concerning the September 11, 2001 attacks, many of them claiming that President George W. Bush and/or individuals in his administration knew about the attacks beforehand and purposefully allowed them to occur because the attacks would generate public support for militarization, expansion of the police state, and other intrusive foreign and domestic policies by which they would benefit.

Proponents point to the Project for the New American Century, a conservative think tank that argues for increased American global leadership, whose former members include ex-Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, Vice President Dick Cheney and several other key Bush administration figures. An 1990 report from the group stated that “some catastrophic and catalyzing event — like a new Pearl Harbor” would be needed to budge public opinion in their favor

Postcard Farewell

When Jim Wilson’s father died in Natal, South Africa, in April 1967, both Jim, living in England, and his sister Muriel, living in Holland, were informed. Muriel contacted her husband who was on business in Portugal, and he flew to South Africa right away. Changing planes at Las Palmas airport in the Canary Islands, he bought a postcard showing holidaymakers on Margate Beach, Natal, and sent it to Muriel. It was she who noticed that the photograph showed her father walking up the beach.