RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Writer's Block JLR: The 2004 Starsky_Hutch Awards

A.K.A. JLR: The Meeting

(Another attempt at a JLR Talk Thread Adventure)

The JLR assemble for their regular monthly meeting in the Lounge Room of Justice. But this month’s agenda contains a special agenda item - The 2004 Starsky_Hutch Awards!

Britannica brings the meeting to order…

Brit: As I’m sitting in the good recliner, I have the honour of calling this meeting to order. OK first order of business – any apologies?

Wed: Yeah. I’m sorry I drank all the milk and left the empty container in the fridge.

D0gg: That was you!?!

Wed: Hey, I’m man enough to admit it. But, I’m still waiting for that apology from whoever went through my porn collection.

JLR: ...

Brit: Um… OK. We’ll note that down for other business shall we…? Is anyone missing from the meeting?

Fused: Still no sign of Cowgirl Jack…

Brit: Finding CJ - That’s an adventure for another day… OK. Moving right along… Any business arising from the previous minutes?

JLR: …

Brit: Where are the previous minutes?

Ace: Heh. Sorry, ran out of time. Anyone else notice, those things take longer than a minute?

Wed: You think it’d be easier now that we have a time travelling robot in our ranks.

TTT: I’m an android! And I don’t do minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Years. Decades. Centuries. Eons. But, not minutes.

Brit: OK forget about the minutes. Next on the agenda - Finances. Treasurer, what is our financial situation?

Ace: We don’t have any.

Spandex: Wasn’t La Machine financing us through his sportswear line?

Ace: Yes, but he had to pay all those court costs and fines for hiring those illegal immigrants as cheap labour.

Wed: Weren’t you going to get a job Britannica?

Brit: I’m a librarian. What can I say? I provide a free service.

Hybrid: Isn’t Registered Member #552, King of Doesntreallyexistia? Why can’t we dip into some of those funds?

RM552: Because, I’m only the mumble King…

Spandex: Pardon?

RM552: Because, I’m only the Acting King. And they won’t give me the royal key to the royal treasury.

Ace: Anyway, Larry our ex-con, parolee gardener is asking for a raise.

Brit: I didn’t know we payed him?

Ace: We don’t.

Wed: Excellent. Give him an extra 5% of what he gets now.

Brit: All in favour?

JLR: AYE!

Brit: Carried unanimously. Anything else, Ace?

Ace: Yeah, the inter-dimensional travel and accidental deletion policy is due this month. But I should be able to pay it, if I dip into the JLR Cake Fund.

JLR:

Hybrid: That’s a bit heavy-handed.

Ace: Hey, that’s easy for you to say. You haven’t been deleted from another Message Board.

Wed: I know. But the cake fund, man?

Brit: OK. Looks like we’ll have find money from somewhere.

Spandex: Maybe we should have another recruitment drive?

Wed: No.

Fused: I should be able to rustle up someone new for the team.

Brit: Really?

Spandex: Is he rich?

Fused: Um… not sure?

D0gg: Is he female?

Fused: Don’t think so?

Brit: OK. Well invite them around Fused. I’m sure they will prove to be an invaluable member of the team… Right. Next on the agenda – Recipes!

Spandex: What the!?! What the hell do recipes have to do with anything!?!

Brit: It’s a time honoured tradition from the DCMB days, Spandex.

Wed: Yeah Monkey Boy. Tradition.

Ace: It was part of the original eligibility criteria. We had to save the world and be able to cook.

Wed: Heroes had to get their energy from somewhere.

Centurian: Thank goodness you still don’t have that as a membership criteria.

Fused, Hybrid, TTT, D0gg & Spandex: You can say that again.

RM552: That’s why we brought in the JLR Cake Fund. So we didn’t have to cook.

Brit: You know, I have been thinking. Maybe we should reintroduce that old cooking membership criteria back in again? All in favour?

JLR: NAY!!!!

Brit: OK then. Moving right along. Next agenda item – THE 2004 STARSKY_HUTCH AWARDS

Wed: [under his breath] Finally.

Brit: What!?!

Wed: Nothing.

Brit: OK. Just to re-cap, for our newer members. We held our first The Starsky_Hutch Awards last year to coincide with our first anniversary.

The Awards are named after Starsky_Hutch76, the hero who started the original JLR tread.

These awards are pear-review, and cover characters, posters and adventures.

For some reason or other, we missed the anniversary this year. But our second anniversary of arriving in the RKMB is fast approaching, so I think it is appropriate to hold the 2004 Awards on that date.

TTT: Not leaving yourself a lot of time there Brit.

Brit: No, we don’t have a lot of time. So we are going to dispense with the Florida polling method of last year...

Wed: Hey. I thought it worked pretty well.

Brit: ... So basically we are going to nominate and vote for the following categories now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The categories for this year include:

1. Favourite Story
As we didn’t really complete a lot of missions this year…

Wed: Well except the secret, unrecorded adventures…

Brit: Yes. Hmm… Anyhoo, I propose that all recorded JLR adventures are eligible for the Favourite Story category - finished or not.

Links to all our adventures:
JLR: In the beginning...

The Justice League Reality - Message Board

JLR: The Convention Adventure

JLR War

JLR: The Wedding

JLR vs the CSF!
Incorporating:

So Britannica walks up to the Penultimate MBL HQ...

The JLR presents...D0GG at the airport

The JLR presents...D0GG somewhere in the Mid-west

The Return of Chant

JLR: Weapons of Mass Confusion

------------------------------------------------------------------------

2. Favourite post
Like last year, favourite individual post.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

3. Favourite Storyline
Favourite run of posts (individual or team effort) which describe a battle or scenario within an adventure.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

4. Favourite Main Character
Eligible for this category are:

• Britannica
  
• Centurian
  
• Chant
  
• Chessmaster 9000.53
  
• Cowgirl Jack
  
• D0gg
  
• Fused
  
• Hybrid
  
• La Machine / Vegi-La
  
• Midnight Spectre 2.0
  
• Nuriko
  
• Registered Member #552
  
• Spandex Monkey Man
  
• The Time Trust
  
• Transneapolitan
  
• Wednesday

------------------------------------------------------------------------

5. Favourite Supporting Character
Includes:

• Di Bat Pho
  
• JLR (T)ASK Force (the JLR animals)
  
• Statika
  
• Tommy
  
• and any other character who (so far) appears in:
  JLR War
  
  JLR: The Wedding
  
  JLR vs the CSF!
  
  So Britannica walks up to the Penultimate MBL HQ...
  
  The JLR presents...D0GG at the airport
  
  The JLR presents...D0GG somewhere in the Mid-west
  
  The Return of Chant
  
  JLR: Weapons of Mass Confusion

------------------------------------------------------------------------

6. Favourite Poster
Anyone who has contributed a post to any of the JLR adventures, since last year's awards.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

7. Most improved Poster - A new category
Whose work has improved over the year?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

8. Hall of (Justice) Fame
Nominations for any member who has made a contribution to the JLR.

Last year's recipients include:

• dun_like_dinner (2003)
  "for cleaning up our adventures by establishing the JLR Talk Thread."
  
  
• Registered Member #552 (2003)
  "who provided a link to a new message board in our time of crisis."
  
  
• Midnight Spectre 2.0 (2003)
  "for having the noble fortification of defending men (and women) by founding the JLR."
  
  
• Starsky_Hutch76 (2003)
  “because we all wanted to be in the Justice League too."

Brit: OK. So these are the categories for this years Awards. Everyone who reads the JLR is eligible to record their nominations here.

Your nomination is your vote!

Please try to have all nominations in by 19 December 2004. But if you need more time, we can hold it open a couple of extra days.

So, who wants to go first?

Spandex: Well, for Favourite Story, I'm going with Convention Adventure. It was great fun.

Wed: How do you know? You weren't even there!

SMM: Yeah, well, you know how it is...

************************************************************

SMM: Continuing on from there, for fave individual post, I go for LM's opening post for Convention Adventure. It shows all the team members quickly, efficiently and humorously. I like it.

Brit: Neat. By the by, why do you seem to like Convention so much over CSF.

SMM: Read CSF and try and understand what the hell was going on therem huh?

************************************************************

SMM: For Best Storyline I'm going with the climax to CSF, starting from my despatching of Islington. It took a hell of a long time to do, but the climax worked out real good.

D0GG: Why thank-you.

SMM: Did you actually do anything?

D0GG: Just wrote the damn thing!

************************************************************

SMM: Fave Main Character just has to be Chant. From his evil ways through his period in the JLR during convention to his return to evil in WoMC, who hasn't loved this guy? CSF suffered from his absence.

************************************************************

SMM: Fave Supporting Character I vote Di Bat Pho. She was good in Convention, and pulled her weight in War (when the tASK Force overshadowed her), plus she features strongly in wedding, which is coming along nicely.

Brit: In behalf of my darling wife, thankyou...

************************************************************

SMM: Favourite Poster is difficult, but has to be D0GG. He writes like no one else on the team, and has knocked up some classic moments.

D0GG: Dude, that's awesome!

SMM: You're still very annoying, though...

************************************************************

SMM: Most improved poster I can't comment on, I haven't seen much change in other posters (admittedly, I'm still the new kid on the block, so hey) and as for Hall of Fame, I vote Britannica. I know he's being very humble, but I honestly believe that he's the single most important person to the team at this time. As a secondary nomination I vote Wednesday, for taking charge so well after Brit took a leave of absence

"Hey guys, what's up?" Dogg zips up his pants as he comes out of the bathroom holding a magazine. The JLR give him funny looks as he's been in there for over forty minutes, and quite frankly they're curious why Dogg spends at least a half hour in there every time he goes.

"Hey dude. We're voting." Wednesday eyes the magazine in Doggs hand, trying to figure out what it is but unable to because it's rolled up.

"Look, I already saw the South Park episode. Frankly, I'd rather not vote for either the Giant Douche or the Turd Sammich." Dogg throws his magazine on the coffee table and sits down on the couch as the other members move over to give him space.

"Huh? No no, we're talking about the annual Starsky_Hutch awards. You know, a best in show for the JLR." Britannica says as TTT reads the title to the magazine Dogg was looking at.

"'Quilt Fantasy'? You were in there for almost an hour reading 'Quilt Fantasy'?" TTT opens it up and starts flipping through it.

"What? I just read it for the articles!" Dogg exclaims as the JLR shake their heads.

"If you say so, Dogg. So...what are your nominations for this years awards?" asks Britannica

"Obie Kaybie!" Dogg cracks his fingers and wiggles them around a bit. "Here's my nominees for the 2004 Starsky_Hutch Awards!"

"You don't have to make a show of it dude..."

"Okay, first off my Favorite Story. I'd have to say that was the JLR vs. CSF story. It was the first round robin I ever joined and I had fun with it."

"Next, My favorite post. I know this is kind of biased, but it was very difficult for me to choose because it was down to two for me. But my favorite post is the one where I entered the story officially for the first time. Nothing cooler than having an Angel of Death rain sulpher and brimstone on a horde of Agent Smiths."

"Yes, that is very biased." Registered Member #552 says between sips of Pepsi Holiday Spice that Pepsi so generously gave to us without having to name drop. Yup, Pepsi, the drink of our Generation. "So what was your other choice?"

"I'll tell ya later. For my Favorite Storyline, I have to go with "Penultimate MBL: ... MIDGET ... PIZZA ... MAN ..." Maybe not officially a JLR story, but it was the continuation of the "So Britannica walks up to the Penultimate MBL HQ..." story. It was enteraining and quite frankly, I'm dissapointed it wasn't finished."

"Next pick! Next pick! It's time to pick the Favorite Main Character and I know it's me!" SMM jumps up and down like he just took a hit of speed.

"Actually...you're right. You're my favorite main character, but that's due to your seemingly endless supply of powers pissing Wednesday off."

"What!?" Wednesday looks suprised and upset at Dogg. "You picked him because he can have any power in the book? Dumb ass!"

"No no, "Stupid Dogg" not "Dumb Ass"."

"My pick for Favorite Supporting Character would have to be Tommy. Really good for nothing except looking good next to Nuriko, but he does it so well!"

"My Favorite Poster would have to be Fused. I really liked this post he did, so since I voted for my post as favorite, I'm voting for him as my favorite poster."

"Most Improved Poster....hrm. I really haven't been around long enough to get a feel for everyones writing styles so I can't judge who's improved. Same with the Hall of (Justice) Fame. I feel too new to nominate anyone. maybe next year?"

"That's a cop-out! Your just afraid of choosing, pansy!"


"Okay okay, I'll choose one for the Hall of (Justice) Fame. I have to give my nod to Britannica for scouring the internet multiverse to look for new posters. That had to be time consuming and really deserves some props. Okay, so who's next?"

Okay fellas and fellarinas, I'm sorry to say that I won't be casting my votes in a story kinda way.

but here they are anyway

Favourite story: hmm, that's a tough one, well actually not really that tough, cuz I have picked three to choose from. The picks are JLR: Messageboard adventure, the second is the Convention adventure and the third is WoMC. Now, I know the last one isn't completed, but I think it'll be really great. Especially since I know (within a margin, a wide margin, a REALLY wide margin) what the plot line is!

But, my vote is JLR: Messageboard adventure

Favourite post: I abstain on this one as I simply cannot choose a single post from any of the stories.

Favourite storyline: Da Bomb! y'know, Harpys egg from the convention adventure, hilarious!

Favourite character: Wednesday! Yeah, I guess it's gonna be him, I like my own character better (it's true!) But I feel that you shouldn't vote for youself!

Favourite secondary character: I cast my vote for The Narrator, yups, He's still my all time fave!

Favourite poster: I'm gonna pick a newcomer to the show on this one, either Fused or D0gg........aaaaaaaaaand it's FUSED!!! why you ask? cuz I think he's (pardon my french) Fucking hilarious!

Most Improved poster: I would like to say myself on this one as I think I've become ALOT better at writing, take a look at Future Times, it's not what I want it to be, but it's still the best I've ever done! But as I said earlier, I won't vote for myself. So, I vote D0gg. Whilst he's ALWAYS been good, I think he's become a lot better (are you feeling alright man?)

Hall of Fame: No doubt about it! Registered Member #552, probably the most hilarious of us all!

that's it!

Wednesday: Hi, everybody!

Britannica: Hi, Dr. Nick!

JLR:

Wednesday: Well, I guess it's time I introduced you all to my newest power.

Fused: What new power?

Wednesday: The power to instantaneously know the unquestionably best choice in any category.

JLR:

Wednesday: No questions asked .

JLR:

Wednesday: What?

SpandexMonkeyMan: You're lying.

Wednesday: Are you accusing me of lying?

SpandexMonkeyMan: Very much.

Wednesday: Have I ever lied to you guys?

Britannica: Yes.

Wednesday: Recently?

Britannica: Yes.

Wednesday: Within the last hour?

Britannica: Well...

Wednesday: Ha! See? I wouldn't lie to you guys.

Britannica: Actually, just a couple minutes ago you said--

Wednesday: C'mon, guys, let's not focus on the past.

Registered Member #552: You mean like that time you told me YOU HAD THE POWER to turn Buttercup into a real queen if she was kissed by a king.

Wednesday:

Registered Member #552: My tongue still tastes like horse!

JLR:

Wednesday: Well, THIS time I really did just get a new superpower, and it's my duty as a hero to use it for the betterment of humanity.

SpandexMonkeyMan: I still say he's full of it.

Wednesday: Anywho, let's start with the easy stuff... My favorite story is still The Convention Adventure. It balanced just the right amount of insanity and organizedness.

Fused: That's not a word.

Wednesday: Shu' up! Next, my favorite post is going to be this one. Very few posts are actually, well... touching. This one tugs at the heart strings.

SpandexMonkeyMan: Aww, he's just a big softy.

Wednesday: Shu'up! Now, for favorite storyline, my vote--and might I remind you that my vote is THE most important in this unweighted election--goes to everything from the first post to the last post of The JLR presents...D0GG somewhere in the Mid-west

Britannica: You can't pick that.

Wednesday: Why not?

Britannica: Because it's a full story.

Wednesday: Well, it's only five posts long, and it's been incorporated into the CSF story, making it a storyline, yes?

Britannica: I do not approve.

Wednesday: Fine! Everything in that story EXCEPT the last post. So, basically, the first four posts of The JLR presents...D0GG somewhere in the Mid-west is my favorite storyline.

Britannica:

Wednesday:

Ace: Anyway, favorite character?

Stupid Dogg: I already know who he's going to choose.

Hybrid: Who?

Stupid Dogg: His favorite character of all time: SpandexMonkeyMan .

SpandexMonkeyMan:

Wednesday:

Stupid Dogg:

Wednesday: No, but he was a very close twelfth place.

Fused:

SpandexMonkeyMan: Words hurt too, you know .

Fused:

Wednesday: My choice for my favorite character is the same as it was last year. Now, my favorite secondary character--

Hybrid: Wait a second.

Wednesday: What?

Hybrid: Who was your favorite character last year?

Wednesday: You don't remember?

Hybrid: No.

Wednesday: Well, maybe you should try paying attention .

Hybrid: Yeah, maybe you're right. Or maybe you should try to remember that I WASN'T EVEN HERE LAST YEAR .

Wednesday: Excuses, excuses.

Hybrid:

Wednesday: All right, for all the newbies, my choice for favorite main character last year AND this year is Chant.

Chant: YES! I AM THE MAILMASTER OF MAYHEM !

The Time Trust: Speaking of which, what's Chant doing here, anyway?

Ace: Well he is a poster.

The Time Trust: Yeah, but shouldn't we... I dunno... ARREST HIM?

Britannica: We'll get to that. Wednesday, please continue with your long, drawn out post.

Wednesday: Thank you. As I was saying, my choice for my favorite character is Chant, once again. Of course, next year it will probably be Darren.

JLR: Who?

Wednesday: For a while, I couldn't decide who my favorite secondary character would be. It was a tie between Big City's Ambassador and Centurian's mom, both from JLR vs. the CSF.

Centurian: Yay, mom!

Wednesday: And after carefully mulling it over, I choose for my favorite secondary character...

The JLR are all at the edge of their seats.

Wednesday: OPTIMUS PRIME from JLR vs. the CSF!

Centurian: Awwww .

Midnight Spectre 2.0: A true hero.

Wednesday: Now, for the JLR Hall of Fame, I'm not going to choose someone who has already been inducted like some people .

Chant: Who did that?

Wednesday: I am, however, going to vote for Britannica "for saving the JLR from page 2 and excellence in leadership" for induction into the JLR Hall of Fame.

Registered Member #552: That's so touching.

Wednesday: Shu' up! The most improved poster, in my eyes, is Chant.

Chant: Yet another one for THE MAILMASTER OF MAYHEM !!

The Time Trust: At least put tape over his mouth.

Wednesday: Well, that's it.

Cowgirl Jack: No, it's not.

JLR: COWGIRL JACK !!!

Centurian, Fused, and others:

Ace: How did you-- I mean-- You were dead!!

JLR:

Cowgirl Jack: Well, this isn't exactly within continuity, now is it ?

Islington, Angel of Death: She's right, you know.

JLR: AHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!

La Machine: Wednesday hasn't given us his favorite poster yet.

JLR: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...

Wednesday: Ah yes. My favorite poster. Well, that was the toughest of them all. It was a four-way tie, you see. But I finally decided, that my favorite poster is...

To be continued...































































.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Fused: Hells no!

Wednesday: What?

La Machine: We wanna know now!

Wednesday: But--

Midnight Spectre 2.0 [cracking his knuckles]: Right now!

Wednesday: Whoa! Hold on there, Sparky. Okay, okay. My favorite poster is...

Everyone is at the edge of their seats!!

Wednesday: ME !

JLR: What?

Midnight Spectre 2.0 [cracking his knuckles]: Could you repeat that?

Wednesday: Juuuuuust kidding. Geez, I didn't even put it in color.

JLR:

Wednesday: Anywho, my favorite poster is Centurian.

Britannica: What?

Rob Kamphausen: amazing!

Centurian: Neat!

Wednesday: Yes... neat. I've been VERY impressed with what the kid can do. It was the hardest decision I had to make, though. For a long time, Britannica, Centurian, Fused, and Stupid Dogg were all tied. They all bring a lot of talent to the table, and, frankly, this was the hardest decision to make.

Registered Member #552: That's so touching !

Chant: Wait a second, Wednesday.

Wednesday: What?

Chant: Didn't you say you JUST got this power "to instantaneously know the unquestionably best choice in any category"?

Wednesday: Yeah. So?

Chant: But Wednesday, it's Monday.

Britannica [checking his watch]: *GASP!* He's right!

Wednesday: Yeah... well... ummm ... LET'S ALL PUMMEL CHANT!

The Time Trust: Hear, hear!

<various sounds of Chant being pummelled>

To be continued...

I watched as the JLR continued to pummel Chant some more. It was getting kind of messy. And Chant was beginning to cry like a little girl, so I let out a little ‘excuse me’ cough.

“Cough, cough.”

The entire JLR stopped pummeling Chant and looked at me.

Oh dear.

“Um, yes Centurian?” asked Britannica. “Did you want a go at pummeling the Arch Villain?”

“Oh no. You’re all doing a really super job. I was just wondering…?”

“Why we’re attacking Chant, rather than finding out how CJ escaped death?” asked Hybrid.

“Well, not exactly. But I…?”

“Why we’re attacking Chant, rather than the incredibly deadly Angel of Death, Islington?” asked SMM.

“Well, I guess that would be good to k…?”

“Why we’re attacking Chant, rather than continuing with the Awards?” asked Britannica.

“Well…”

“Why we’re asking you all these stupid questions before you finish what you want to say?” asked Wednesday.

“Wel…”

“Why don’t any women want to join the JLR?” asked Dogg.

“Not really. I think I’ve figured that out.”

Ace crossed his arms, “What’s he trying to say here?”

“Yeah, little buddy,” asked Fused, “Wazzup?”

“I was wondering, if I could cast my votes for the Starsky Hutch Awards?”

Several members of the team, thought about my request.

“I vote that we continue to pummel Chant,” said RM552.

“I’ll second that,” agreed Chessmaster.

“Hey!” fumed Chant. “You don’t even know me.”

“My bad. Got a little carried away there…”

“I vote that we deal with Islington,” said Midnight Spectre.

“Well, as chairman of today’s meeting, I think we should stick to the agenda. We can deal with Chant and Islington in 'Other Business'.”

The rest of the JLR looked disappointed at Britannica’s ruling. “Ohhhh...”

“Please go ahead, Centurian.”

I took a deep breath…

“OK. First up my favorite story is… JLR vs. the CSF!. Because this was my first adventure too and I had fun.”

Dogg gave me the thumbs up, “Hear ya loud and clear."


“I don’t really have a favorite post. They are all so good. Maybe next year?”


“My favorite storyline. I’m not sure if this is allowed, but I’m voting for the JLR vs Defenders battle from The Convention adventure.”

“My finest hour,” boasted RM552, “I won us that battle you know.”

The JLR looked at the Royal member.

“Shuddup…”


My favorite main character is a tough one. I really like CJ. But I think Fused is cool. If CJ was still with us, I think my choice would be a lot harder.

“You chose me?” asked Fused, pretending some dust had got into his eye.


“Favorite supporting character… Mom’s good. But I’m going with Thorfen – the Dwarf. I know I probably shouldn’t vote for one of ‘my’ characters, but I think everyone handled him well and had fun with him in CSF!”

“Hey. I didn’t handle any Dwarves thank you,” declared Wednesday, “I’ve got a reputation you know.”

“We know you do,” replied the JLR.


“Favorite poster is Wednesday.”

“Hey!” cried most of the JLR.

“You’re only voting for him, ‘casue he voted for you,” challenged Chant.

“You’re the Arch Villain,” I replied defiantly, “I don’t have to justify myself to you!”

Fused leaned over and whispered, “So did you vote for Wednesday, cause he voted for you?”

“No! No. Maybe…”


“Most improved poster… I don’t really think, I’ve been here long enough to vote in this category. Sorry. I have the same thoughts for The Hall of Fame. Though if anyone, I agree Britannica should be inducted.”

“Right, can we get on with the pummeling, then?” asked RM552.

“Just one more thing?”

“Yes Centurian?”

“Do all 100 of my alter-egos get a vote too?”

SMM: NO!

Fused: Damn Islington and Chant, I'm battling the most evil and all powerful contributors of villainry ever to oppress humanity.

Centurian 100: Vegi-La??

Fused: No.

Britannica: The Injustice Reality Gang?

Fused: Nope.

Dogg: Agent Smith?

Fused: Noop.

Wednesday: Dark Wednesday?

Fused: Nyap.

Hybrid: Who??

Fused: AOL. . .

JLR:

Fused: Seriously, I'm on a #u%kin' dial up modem right now, so I'm completely handicapped for online time for now. If my internet was a disease, it'd be mental retardation.

SpandexMonkeyMan: If Wednesday's internet was a disease, it'd be syphilis!

Wednesday:

Fused: Yes, yes it's all quite amusing. It's 3 days til Christmas and I haven't bought shit. Need to get this goin'. On to my nominations/votes/picks/favorites.

1.) Favorite Story: I gotta go with CSF. Sue me. I'm biased. From a non-subjective point of view I also chose this story because the CSF was the coolest gathering of hardcore asskickers I've seen in the JLR. Yeah, plot holes like swiss cheese. Eternally convoluted, but one of the coolest for sure.

2.) I too can't choose a single post. Way too many good ones.

3.) Favorite Storyline: has gotta be the collaborative posting effort with the battle against Vegi-La started by Wednesday. There was just so much kinetic energy bouncing off posts that it was the sickest, most high-octane read I have yet to experience with the JLR.

4.) Favorite Main Character: As unfortunate as it is, she's inactive, yet still eligible, sorry fellahs, it's Cowgirl Jack. The chick on the superteam has just always been a real draw.

5.) Favorite Supporting Character: Di Bat Pho. Not so much that she's a chick, more so because whenever, and I mean whenever, she mixed her gender-specific pronouns, I laughed my dick stiff.

6.) Favorite Poster: Dogg. Unconventional. Improvisational. Original. This guys got the goods. In this pool of multi-talents that I share Writers Block space with, this guy never fails to deliver.

7.) Most Improved Poster: Fused. I only nominate myself at risk of faux-paus-ing due to the fact that my first few posts were complete ass. I mean double-wide trailer gluteus maximus maximum ass. From embarassingly awful to currently halfway readable I think I'm glaringly improved due to everyone else having always been fantastic writers.

8.) For the Hall of Fame: I nominate Chant. This guy is our Magneto. The first nemesis and arch villain of the JLR and true archtype to precede all other villains to face the JLR.

I also nominate these pigs in a blanket for best finger-food of the 2004 Starsky_Hutch Awards. Good goin' Hybrid!

Hybrid: Hey thanks, man!

Brit: Actually Fused, The X-Wives pre-dated Chant as our first villains...

Wed: Yeah, but Chant was the first we got 'round to pounding.

Brit: Oh, yes... So he was. These pigs in blankets are delightful, aren't they...

So who's next?

Fused: Oops. I'll take Chant over some X-Hussie I guess.

Dogg: Wait wait wait, you guys pounded Chant and not a couple of X-Hoochie mamas? Don't you think that's...well, very gay?

JLR:

Fused: No no, I get it. He means pounded in a sexual way. Wow, how witty of you Dogg.

Dogg: I really hate you guys.

SMM: I'm inclined to agree with Fused's ruling on himself being 'most improved poster'. If you go back and readhis very first posts on CSF, they're kinda scrappy, and only Fused sounds right. Then go forwards and read WoMC's opening. It's really classy and good. I think we're entering a golden age of JLR action here.

The JLR sat around the Lounge Room of Justice, contemplating the uncomfortable truth, that this maybe a rather gay organisation after all…

Brit: Don’t worry chums. Gay means happy, according to the dictionary.

Hybrid: Chums!?!

Dogg: Dicks-in-airy!?!

SMM: You are so gay, Britannica.

Brit: I’m not the one wearing skin-tight spandex…

The JLR loll back into a contemplative mood…

Wed: So?

Ace: So what?

Wed: Are you going to give us your votes?

Ace: I’m still thinking.

More thinking…

Fused: Hey, Brit. You’re looking mighty uncomfortable there. What’s up?

SMM: He’s beginning to realise just how gay he is.

Brit: Spandex, I’m married. Remember?

Dogg: So was Elton John.

Brit: Shut up Dogg…

Wed: So what’s the problem?

Brit: Well you know, that Christmas Eve Eve extension deadline we set?

Hybrid: We got plenty of time yet.

Brit: For you guys, yes. I have to get back to Australia, where there is only two minutes to Christmas Eve!

RM552: I’m sure we won’t mind if you vote now.

Brit: Well, I know, but as I’m sort of the designated leader…

Ace: Only because you’re the only one with a licence who doesn’t drink.

JLR: That’s true.

Brit: But even so, I want to make sure everyone has a say and feels included. I wanted everyone to vote before I did.

Ace: I’m still thinking.

RM552: You know me. I’ll post when I have to. Not before.

Brit: Are you guys sure?

Wed: Just post.

Brit: But…

JLR: Post!!!

Brit: Okay…


Well, my favourite story is Justice League Reality – Message Board!

Convention was good. But in my mind, Message Board was better. Everybody posted, everything flowed. We didn’t worry too much about a theme for our stories. We just went from one theme to another, when each caper ran its course (except for the occasional backflash). Sometime I think we struggle with the themed storylines like Convention and CSF! But that’s just my thoughts…

On a more positive note, my favourite post is CJ picking up Centurian after the recruitment drive in CSF!

And a tad related, but my Favourite storyline this year was The first recruitment drive in CSF!

Once again a great example of everyone mucking in and letting the story flow. Of course this led directly into the excellent battle between the JLR and the Vegi-La. Which also deserves credit.

Now this is a tough one… My favourite main character… So many to choose from. Wednesday, Fused, Hybrid, Dogg, Centurian, even Transneapolitan. This year I’m going for Hybrid.

My favourite supporting character is not one of mine.

Wed: Aren’t all the supporting character’s yours?

Brit: I may have quantity going for me, but the character that made me laugh out load the most this year was Di Mid-La Cowace Wedtanica 552

So who is my favourite poster? Indeed both Wednesday and Dogg deserve special mention. But this year, I am going for someone, who I consider to be our quiet achiever.

JLR: RM552!?!

Brit: Not quite. He’s more our quiet archiver. Though I’m sure there’s another Hall of Fame Award waiting for him, for regularly saving our posts…

No. I’m talking about Ace!

Not as prolific as some members… And Wednesday and Dogg are more professional in their writings. But if you actually re-read our adventures, Ace always seems to be there to provide the good solid post when we need a good solid post.

So, thanks Ace.

Most improved poster… Another tough one... Chant or Fused are my choices. For this category, I’m going for Fused!

Started off a bit fruity, but has certainly blossomed during his time with us.

Finally…

The Hall of (Justice) Fame Award...

I know there are quite a few votes for me already. But I really don’t think I deserve it yet. Wait till I finish War and Wedding and post the JLR Encyclopaedia… Then I might be worthy.

My vote goes to…

CHANT!
for delivering a purpose to the JLR…


Anyhoo... got to dash now... Di Bat Pho is calling...

Fused: Where?

Dogg: I didn't hear anything?

Brit: Telepathic link remember.

SMM: That must have its drawbacks.

Brit: Ah... but unlike some people on this team, I'm getting some

And the rest of you, don't forget to vote!

And with that, Britannica uses his Information Gateway ability to travel back to Australia to be with his wife for Christmas...

Fused: That was just mean...

Fused: Everyone knows sex with wives does not count!

Britannica and Di Bat Pho arrive back at the meeting…

Wed: And what took you two?

SMM: Yeah! It’s nearly New Year’s Eve!

Britannica and Di Bat Pho blush.

Brit: Would you like me to draw you a picture?

LM: Oh yes please! Your pictures a pretty good…

Ace: [putting a hand ion his teammate’s shoulder] La, old buddy…

Fused: It doesn’t count if you’re married!!!

Brit: So has everyone voted now?

TTT: Well I appreciate the offer, but I don’t feel qualified.

RM552: Since when did we need qualifications?

D0gg: So why haven’t you voted?

RM552: I come from a monarchy. We don’t vote…

Fused: What about you Ace?

Ace: I’m still thinking…

Brit: Well while you’re doing that, let me tally the votes.

Britannica picks up the nominations goes off into a separate room and starts to count the votes.

30 minutes later….

SMM: Hey! What’s keeping you back there?

Brit: … carry the four… OK, ready!

MS2: Finally.

Brit: OK. In the Favorite Story category:

The Convention Adventure and JLR-MB both received 2 votes.

But this year JLR vs. the CSF! is the winner with 3 votes!

Fused, Hybrid, Centurian, SMM and D0gg give high-fives all round.


Brit: Favorite Individual Post:

• La Machine’s opening post to The Convention Adventure
  
• D0gg’s entrance in CSF!
  
• Britannica’s death of Buttercup in War
  and
  
• Centurian’s CJ picking up Cent after the recruitment drive in CSF!

All received 1 vote each. Well done to each of the writers…

However the winner is No vote – With 3 no votes!

JLR: Huh!?!

Hybrid: How does that work?

SMM: That makes no sense!

Brit: Hey. This is democracy. I only count them as we vote them.

RM552: This democracy is crazy…


Brit: Next is the Favorite Storyline category:

And it’s a seven-way tie!

• The CSF Climax
  
• Penultimate MBL: MIDGET … PIZZA … MAN …
  
• Harpy’s egg in The Convention Adventure
  
• The JLR presents… DOGG somewhere in the Mid-West
  
• JLR vs The Defenders in The Convention Adventure
  
• JLR battle against Vegi-La in CSF!
  
• First JLR recruitment drive in CSF!

Wed: Hah! And you complained when there was a six-way tie in this category last year!

Brit: Shut up Wednesday. OK moving right along… Favorite Main Character…

Spandex Monkey Man, Wednesday, Fused. Cowgirl Jack and Hybrid picked up a vote each. However the winner with two votes is…

Chant!

Chant: [Chant leaps up from behind the sofa] Bwa-hahahahahahahaha! YESSSSSSSSSSSS! I am victorious! In your faces JLR!!

The JLR spend the next 20 minutes pummeling Chant.


Brit: OK, where were we? Oh yes… Favorite Supporting Character, OK lets see…

Tommy, The Narrator, Optimus Prime, Thorfen and Di Mid-La Cowace Wedtannica 552 all received 1 vote each.

Di Bat Pho received two votes, making her the winner.

DBP: Oooooh, that’s so sweet. [DBP throws her arms around Britannica] I love you!

Fused: Hey you two, get a room!

D0gg: Hey, why does Britannica get the hug? He didn’t even vote for her!

DBP: [pulls away from her husband and looks at him] Is this correct? You didn’t vote for your own wife?

Brit: Well I would have, dearest. But I have this ethical thing about voting for my own stuff…

DBP: Well contemplate these ethics!

Di Bat Pho karate kicks Britannica!

Brit: Oof…

Fused: Looks like someone’s not going to get any for a while.

Brit: [Picking himself off the ground] Thank you D0gg...

OK, Favourite Poster:
Centurian, Wednesday and Ace all got one vote each. Well done, fellas.

However, in a tie, D0gg and Fused received two votes each!

D0gg and Fused knock their fists together.

D0gg & Fused:

Brit: Yes. Well done guys. Now, Most Improved Poster:
D0gg and Chant received 1 vote each.

No vote received 2 votes…

SMM: [Looking up JLR: Secret Files and Origins] Who is this “No Vote” person?

Brit: *sigh* However, the winner is Fused with 3 votes

Fused:

Brit: OK Finally… The 2005 Hall of (Justice) Fame Awards:

Four new inductees… well three new inductees and a re-inductee this year, as nominated by the JLR membership…

Britannica:
For saving the JLR from page 2 and excellence in leadership, for scouring the internet multiverse to look for new posters and for being the single most important person on the team…

I don’t know you guys… But, thank you. This is a great honour.

Next is…

Chant:
This guy is our Magneto for delivering a purpose to the JLR...

Chant: [wiping a tear from his eye] Why I didn’t know you guys cared so much *snif*

Brit: Next is…

Registered Member #552:
Probably the most hilarious of us all!

RM552: Woo Hoo! Two for two!

Brit: And finally...

Wednesday:
For taking charge so well after Brit took a leave of absence…

Wed: No thanx.

Brit: What do you mean no thanks?

Wed: I never got a nomination.

Brit: SMM gave you a secondary nomination

Wed: Secondary means nothing. Not primary = doesn't count.

Brit: Well, that’s just how it goes.

Wed: You win

Brit: I officially call the 2005 Starsky_Hutch and Hall of (Justice) Fame Awards closed!

Ace: Hey guys! I know who I want to vote for!

Brit:

OK. Has anybody got any other business?