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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Monroe: Buhbawb! Have we got a show for you tonight folks! Coming right off the heals of Trippin' Tuesday, the quest for the Heavyweight Cheese Title begins tonight in the largest tournament ever assembled! Marcum: That's right! Thrity-two wrestlers in four pools over six weeks! Leading to a Sweet Sixteen Battle Royale at WarGasms! Monroe: It's called the Master of Domain Tournament, and it's for the number one contendership! The winner of this tournament will face PenWing for the Big Cheese Belt at SummerScam!Marcum: That knucklehead! Talk about getting lucky!  Monroe: That wasn't luck last week, Madman! That was the will of a champion! And speaking of champions, we've got three championship matches tonight! Marcum: Three titles? On a Tuesday night?  Monroe: That's right! Three title are on the line! There is no rest for TK as he goes one-on-one with the monster himself, the Dark Lord Grimm! Marcum: Former Dark Lord! The Dark Lords are dead, now that Slick Willie Williams controls the Cell to Hell! Darth must obey his every command! Monroe: We'll see how well that works out. I hope Darth is stronger than that. Marcum: No hope can save Grimm! Monroe: What about Balls Nasty, who faces MisterJLA for his DCMB Championship!Marcum: The DCMB title is on the line? Monroe: That's right, and MisterJLA is undefeated!Marcum: Slick Willie Williams didn't just recruit Balls Nasty because he's good looking. MisterJLA will have a tough fight tonight! Monroe: And finally, the Donkey Lovin' Champs have accepted PenWing's challenge to a Lucha Libre style match! Marcum: Now I knew about that one! And there is a stipulation to this match! Monroe: That's right, this isn't an ordinary Trios match! While both managers will act as captains and be present at ringside, they can't pin anyone! Marcum: But they can be pinned! I love it when the Family gets a plan together! Monroe: Stay tuned, folks! You won't want to miss the Havoc! And it starts now!
James Fantastic (47%, 16 Votes)
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Winged Creature (53%, 18 Votes)
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TK-069 (Champ) (53%, 19 Votes)
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Grimm (47%, 17 Votes)
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Charlie (84%, 26 Votes)
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El Daga (16%, 5 Votes)
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Spandex Monkey Man (63%, 20 Votes)
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Howler (38%, 12 Votes)
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MisterJLA (48%, 15 Votes)
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Balls Nasty (52%, 16 Votes)
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Chris Oakley (38%, 12 Votes)
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Highwayman (63%, 20 Votes)
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King Snarf / Joe Mama / Louie Bastardo (Champs) (57%, 20 Votes)
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Captain Sammitch / PenWing / Meeko (43%, 15 Votes)
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Louie Bastardo (Captain) (47%, 16 Votes)
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King Snarf (38%, 13 Votes)
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Joe Mama (15%, 5 Votes)
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Meeko (Captain) (56%, 19 Votes)
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Captain Sammitch (26%, 9 Votes)
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PenWing (18%, 6 Votes)
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
Chesty Lerou is standing in the middle of the Cheesedome ring...
Chesty: Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, please welcome my guests, The Allied Powers!
Rob's Killer Instinct Theme Music plays loudly through the Cheesedome, but countless boos can still be heard over the music.
DCMB World Heavyweight Champion MisterJLA takes the ramp first, with his belt in one hand, and an American flag in the other.
Captain Howdy stands next to him, waving a Union Jack flag.
Both look at each other, then the crowd, and shake their heads in utter disgust.
JLA: Look at these fools. Each and every week I put it all on the line, and this is the thanks I get? Screw this.
JLA turns to go back to the locker room, but Howdy stops him.
Howdy: Don't let these gaylords get to you! We have some important business to take care of!
MisterJLA hesitates for a second, then nods his head in agreement.
Both MisterJLA and Captain Howdy enter the ring. Howdy points and shouts at some fans, while JLA looks over Chesty and licks his lips. Both wrestlers place their respective flag in a corner of the ring, the music stops, and the interview has begun...
Chesty: MisterJLA, Captain Howdy, thank you for joining me for this inter...
JLA: Hold on a second Busty.
Chesty: That's Chesty.
MisterJLA: You can say that again! But hold on. This...SUCKS!
Captain Howdy and myself are the best team to hit the RDCW...ever. We defeated The Playboys, we defeated Team GOP, we defeated Punch/Counterduck, we even defeated The Liberal Conspiracy to cover both ends of the political spectrum, AND we took down the Dark Lords...JLA appears slightly embarrassed Sure...Darth wasn't there. But still, we beat the Dark Lords!
And what did I hear upon my arrival at the Cheesedome today? A Tag Team Title match between Joe Mama and King Snarf, vs Captain Sammitch and PenWing???
The crowd shows their approval with a huge ovation for the match
JLA: That's...what the word, Captain?
Captain Howdy : Bollocks!
JLA: Yes, that's it! Complete...bollocks!
The crowd shows their disapproval for the Powers' comments, with chants of "You suck". Howdy loses his composure, and attempts to attack a group of fans. MisterJLA has to restrain him.
Moments later...
MisterJLA: Well, I can tell all of you something: The Allied Powers are going to have a front row seat for that match. That's right, I bought myself and Howdy two front row tickets, and we are going to watch that match very closely. Maybe we'll be able to see what the hype is about, but I doubt it.
The camera pans to show two front row seats that are empty, with "reserved" signs on each seat.
MisterJLA: We want our rightful title match, and we are going to get it...one way or the other!
Chesty: But JLA, with all of your focus on tag team wrestling, have you overlooked your match with...BALLS NASTY?
The crowd roars their approval. JLA looks out at the crowd with anger
JLA:My balls are nasty? Where did you hear that? There's nothing nasty about my balls! Just ask R-
Chesty: Noooooo! Balls Nasty! That's your opponent for the DCMB crown!
MisterJLA: You're joking, right?
Chesty innocently shakes her head "no".
Balls Nasty. That's his name? Balls Nasty?
JLA looks confused for a moment, then suddenly starts to laugh uncontrollably.
JLA: Balls Nasty? That's what his mother named him? She must have hated him something fierce! What about when his homeroom teacher took attendance? "Nasty, Balls? Is Nasty, Balls present today?" Oh, that's rich. When he meets new people, he can say "I'm Nasty. Balls Nasty" just like James Bond does. Oh brother!
I guess this is appropriate, since I will kick Balls Nasty in his nasty balls with my Final Justice!
Chesty: Thank you both for the interview. Now back to M-
JLA: WHOA! I'm just getting warmed up. I have a special announcement to make, and Chesty, you're going to be lucky enough to see history in the making in a few moments.
These are exciting times in the RDCW, I must admit. The MOD tournament kicks off tonight, and I know I will be a part of it. The Allied Powers have made their presence known, and after tonight, there will be no way we can be denied a title shot any longer. My DCMB Title is up for grabs tonight, and in the future anyone who wants a shot can get in line.
Now I came here months ago looking for new challenges and titles to win, because there was no competition at the DCMB.
But just recently, I surprised even myself and completed a transaction that will turn the RDCW upside down! I signed a talent that the other stables will literally drool over! I have signed to a managerial contract the hottest young talent in this business!
The crowd looks stunned by MisterJLA's confidence! He must have really started something big!
JLA: That's right! This person will add prestige and a championship to the Allied Powers!
Chesty: Who is it? Enough will the suspense already! Tell us who did you sign?!?
JLA: Hahahaha! I've got you suckers eating out of the palm of my hand! Well, it's time to announce the discovery of 2005!
The Cheesedome suddenly becomes very dark, and Rob's Killer Instinct Theme Music plays. Red and black lights flash all over the Cheesedome...
MisterJLA has a wild look in his eye, and begins to shout loudly...
MisterJLA: The newest member of the Allied Powers...
and next Women's Booby Champion...
Miss...
Harley...
KWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!
A hush falls over the crowd. harleykwin stands on the Cheesedome ramp, wearing a skintight...harley quinn outfit.
Once the crowd gets over their initial shock, they begin to give harleykwin a standing ovation!
As she makes her way to the ring, harley looks genuinely surprised by the reception she is receiving! As she steps through the ring ropes, she takes a bow, and the crowd cheers her even more.
The music stops, and lights are restored, but the crowd continues to cheer.
Chesty: My goodness! JLA wasn't kidding! This has to be the biggest find of the year! harley, can I get a word with y..
MisterJLA steps in front of harley, and takes the mic out of Chesty's hand. The crowd nearly riots.
MisterJLA: Not yet. She'll talk to you when she's good and ready. Hell, I may even charge you guys for interviews with the next champ! But know this: she's under contract with me. And I used my influence with the RDCW to get a Women's Booby Title match for harley next week against sneaky bunny!
That's right! Next week: sneaky bunny vs harleykwin for the Women's Booby Title!
The crowd again goes wild! What an announcement!
MisterJLA: Because as you can see...harley has the boobies...
JLA motions toward harley's chest, and harley blushes...
JLA: And now all she needs is the Booby Title!
Rob's Killer Instinct Music plays, and with MisterJLA and Captain Howdy standing on each side of harley, they each raise one of her hands. The crowd cheers this sight, but only for harley's sake...
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'Lyla' Plays, and Tommy Savitz makes his way to the ring, flanked by his wife. The crowd cheers, happy to see him make his return. He gets into the ring and holds the ropes open for Terrim before grabbing a mic and speaking
Tommy Savitz: Everybody in the Cheesedome get down on your knees and thank the lord! The Surgeon is back, and he's bigger, badder and better than ever!
The crowd hollers with delight, glad to see Tommy in such high spirits
Tommy Savitz: Now, I know what a lot of you are thinking. You're thinking 'Where the hell have you been man?' Well, it's a long story.
Monroe: You've got all the time in the world, Tommy! It's good to have you back with us!
Tommy Savitz: Well, after the failur of the RDJL, I realised one thing: I wasn't good enough to wrestle in the RDCW.
The crowd roars it's disagreement. Tommy grins, and motions for silence. The corwd gradually settles back down
Tommy Savitz: It's very nice of you to disagree, but it's true. The truth is, the RDJL and my association with Spandex Monkey Man was the first time I'd stepped into a pro wrestling ring, and my techique wasn't all it could be. So I signed a part-time deal with Rob, and I've been sharpening up my skills in minor feds, like Ring of Dishonour and T&A wrestling...
Marcum:Ah, Tits and Ass wrestling, my favourite fed! Did you know that over 80% of their roster is female!
Monroe:No, but I can't say I'm surprised
Tommy Savitz: Now I feel worthy to step back into this ring and give it my all, as a wrestler in this promotion! And my first challenge is to El Superbeasto!
The crowd cheers
Tommy Savit: Y'see, I'm gonna show the giant Luchadore that it doesn't matter how good he is, brains will beat brawn every time. He might be strong, but he'll never be as good as me, 'cos I'M THAT DAMN GOOD!
The crowd cheers, and starts to chant TAP OUT! as 'Lyla' Plays, and Tommy quits the ring to thunderous applause
Do you fear The Surgeon's Knife?
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*Tommy's music is interrupted by Del Castillo's "Back From the Grave" as Tommy and Terri pause on the rampway. El Superbeasto steps through the curtain followed by Louie Bastardo and Grace. Tommy quickly pulls his wife behind him. He glares quietly at the Giant Luchadore. ES: "Senore Surgeon. So nice to see you again in Rob's Damn Wrestling. You and your lovely wife." Superbeasto looks at over at Terri, who gets a little freaked out and makes a disgusted face. ES: "She is quite nice, not like ugly wife of Rob Dickless, eh, Senore Bastardo?" Superbeasto nudges Louie who laughs. ES: "Yes, quite nice to look at. I think, Senore Surgeon, that when I am done with you. I show your wife good time, yes? I show her true lucha style." Monroe: "True lucha style?"  MarcuM: "That means he's gonna leap off the. . .nevermind." Monroe: MarcuM:  Savitz glares up at the imposing giant quietly. His eyes burning into the beast. ES: "I show her my other giantness, eh?" Superbeasto, Grace, and Louie are all laughing now. Tommy is beginning to walk forward the monster. Before he can get to him however, Superbeasto's mood changes and becomes deadly serious. ES: "Then I break her like pinata." Monroe: "That's just sick!" Savitz continues glaring at the giant, as the Bastardoes turn to walk back through the curtain. Tommy starts to follow, but his wife pleads with him not to.
I will destroy all of you putas. Greetings from El Superbeasto.
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1
living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
*The Crotch is standing with Chesty Lerou in the halls of the Cheesedome.
Crotch: Chesty, before I start my questions, I'd just like to complement you on that terrific interview you conducted earlier.
Chesty: Thanks, Crotch. It wasn't easy, but I felt I needed to throw myself right back into the swing of things.
Crotch: Probably a good idea. Chesty, last week, Slick Willie Williams revealed that he now has control of the Cell to Hell. That means that your boyfriend now works for the Company. Any thoughts on this?
*Chesty fights back tears, but when she tries to speak, she break down. Crotch puts his arm around her to "comfort" her, as he stares down into her bosom.
Crotch: I know how hard this must be for you, Chesty. It's very hard for me, too. Is there something I can do? Really, I'm here to help-
*The Crotch stops talking as a hand grabs his shoulder. He looks up just as Grimm punches him in the jaw. Grimm kicks him in the gut and picks him up for a Triple 6 Bomb, planting him through a backstage table as Chesty runs off, screaming.
We see that Grimm is wearing an Evil Cunt Wrestling shirt and blood appears to be splashed over his face and upper body.
Grimm walks up to the camera with a wild look in his and says simply: "HELL. . .TO. . .PAY!!!"
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
After a short promo for One Night Stand,we fade to a montage of Formula 1 race cars with an Italian flag in the background.Cue announcer.
He used to be one of the hottest drivers on the European Grand Prix circuit,but now he's leaving it all behind to join the ranks of RDCW....
Flag in the background changes to a Union Jack.
....And he's the newest member of the Bond Brigade....
Cut to a shot of a man with a black crewcut wearing what looks like a modified Formula 1 jumpsuit executing a devastating hurricanrana on a masked opponent.Superimposed over the shot in capital letters are the words "MARIO BARINI".
....Mario Barini.Coming next week to 'Tuesday Night Havoc'.
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Chesty: Balls Nasty, Mr.JLA has his DCMB title on the line at your match tonight.
Nasty: So?
Chesty: Well, does having a shot at that title add to the tension for this match?
Nasty: Tension? What tension? This is just another match, plain and simple. JLA may hold his title high and proclaim its as a badge of honor, but I have just one question for you, JLA. If the DCMB is that damn hot, if its as important as you say it is, why, JLA, why are you here?
You don't have to answer, JLA, because me and everyone out there in the Cheesedome tonight already know the answer. You're here for the same reason that everyone else who left the DCMB promotion is here. It's a shell of a promotion with nothing but little, anal retentive geeks worrying if the seams in their tights are straight. A gluttony of no talents too busy living out a fantasy, an illusion of superiority for their own self gratification. Did you get tired of running through the Batboarders, JLA? Who were the top challengers for you "title"? The Legionaries? I think we all know what kind of fight they can put up.
You came here to escape, JLA. You came here to get away from posers and the terminally stupid. More importantly, JLA, you fled here to keep from being eaten alive by the corporate cancer feeding on the DCMB. The giant corporation has turned that promotion into a factory, stamping out pre-fab wrestlers with their monthly catch-phrases and t-shirts to match. The very thing that makes fans and wrestlers like me sick. And you have come to Rob's Damn Championship Wrestling to avoid being swollowed whole.
The problem is, JLA, that you wear around your waste is the very thing that threatens to consume you. That farce of a belt is not a championship. It's nothing but a giant billboard. "Place your ad here." You're nothing but a whore for those planning your own downfall.
Don't worry, JLA. Tonight, I'm going to make everything right. I'm going to cripple the power of the DCMB and drive it out of the RDCW. I'll do this not because it's in the best interest of the Family Business. Not out of some sense of loyalty to the RDCW. And sure as hell not because I'm a nice guy. You see, JLA, only one thing in this whole world that really makes me happy. That's hurting people. I never feel better than I do cracking some chump open. And the more reasons I have to hurt someone, the happier I am doing it.
Get ready, JLA, because I feel like tonight is going to be the happiest night of my life.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Fade to the Bond Brigade dressing room,where we see Chris Oakley talking on a cell phone and holding his newly won XPW world heavyweight title belt.
CHRIS:....Yeah,I'm looking forward to One Night Stand too.I can't wait to see the old ECW fans again.(laughs)And can you just imagine how furious Rob Blackandblue's going to be when he sees me at an ECW event holding his promotion's world title belt?He'll be lucky if he doesn't have an aneurysm.(Glances at his wristwatch)Listen,I hate to cut you off,dude,but I have an MOD tournament match later tonight,and before that I have a few words I want to say to the folks here at the Cheesedome and my peers in RDCW.I hope you'll be watching...Sure,man,talk to you later.
Chris hangs up the cell phone and reaches into his locker,then pulls out a videotape marked "OAKLEY RDCW CAREER HIGHLIGHTS".He then shuts the door and starts to walk out of the locker room only to stop in mid-stride at the sight former XPW world heavyweight champion Darien Irons.Neither man makes a move toward the other,but if looks could kill we'd have a double homicide on our hands from the glare they're giving each other.
IRONS:Enjoy that belt while you can,pussy....you won't have it long.
CHRIS:We'll see about that,Rusty.
Irons,who hates to be called "Rusty",starts to take off after the champion but is restrained by arena security before being hustled out the back door.
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Joined: Sep 2002
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terrible podcaster 15000+ posts
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terrible podcaster 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17,801 |
<The stomping beat of "We Will Rock You" blasts over the speakers and the fans roar to their feet and sing along as PenWing, with the Big Cheese Belt around his waist and his Sherwood in hand, Captain Sammitch, and Meeko make their way to the ring.>
Buddy you're a boy make a big noise
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your can all over the place
Singin'
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
Everybody
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
Alright
PenWing: Here I am, Snarf! I'm still standing, and I'm still the champ!
<The crowd cheers.>
PenWing: Like I said before, TLC II was just a warm up. Yeah, Sammitch and I lost our titles. But we plan on rectifying that tonight! And we're going to do it by taking advantage of your stipulation!
<More cheers as PenWing passes hands the mic to Meeko.>
Meeko: Louie Bastardo. Did you think adding in a stipulation allowing me to be pinned would scare us away? Boy are you wrong! Your goons don't scare me, Louie! And I will never get in the way of an opportunity for SD-6 to take a title away from you!
<The crowd cheers some more as Meeko hands the mic to Sammitch.>
Sammitch: Louie, that little stipulation of yours is going to cost your boys the match. And I'm going to see to it, when I personally Sammitch Slam your ass to this mat for the pin!
<The crowd roars.>
Sammitch: Because, anytime-
<Sammitch passes the mic to Meeko.>
Meeko: Anywhere-
<Meeko hands the mic to PenWing.>
PenWing: (with the crowd) SUDDEN DEATH RULES!
<The crowd erupts in cheer as "Gonna Fly Now" blasts over the speakers and the trio leave the ring and make their way back up the ramp.>
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009 |
We are backstage with King Snarf Rules and Joe Mama...
KSR: Joe Mama, last week you unified the Eurotrash and Inter-Cunt-Inental Titles in a brutal, exciting match against Nowhereman. Your thoughts on that match?
JM: Simply put, it was an honor to face off against my former mentor. And a pleasure to strip him of his title! There isn't much that could make me happier than to unify the two titles that I held with dignity and distinction. Except maybe putting a big hurting on Captain Sammitch and PenWing...AGAIN!
KSR: Which brings us to your Tag Team Title match tonight. You've heard the comments from SD-6. Your response?
JM: I marvel at how fast those three rushed to The Doctor's office to demand a rematch. I guess the only thing faster than the speed of light is the speed at which SD-6 whines for a title shot. But it makes no difference to me - I've always been a fighting Champion and I don't back down from a fight against ANYONE! So if PenWing and Sammitch want another shot at having their careers ended, I say "Step on up!!!"
KSR: This time around, your managers are factors in this match. Does this concern you?
JM: Let me make something very clear: The SD-6 member who tries to lay a hand on Louie Bastardo can look forward to being put on the shelf for a good long time. I don't know who made the managers part of the match - SAMMITCH - but I can assure everyone listening that the only way Louie will be allowed to see action is if I'm unconscious and unable to prevent it. And you KNOW I'm a tough bastard to keep down!
KSR: Meeko says...
JM: If Meeko was so desperate to be pinned by a real man, all she had to do is ask. If she and her wrestlers want to put her in harm's way, that's their lookout. I don't like having to hurt a woman, but I'm not letting personal feelings cost me my Tag Team Donkey Lovin' Titles. Meeko, you wanna feel the East Coast Hammer? The Brain Buster? The Joe Mama-Lock? Your wish will be granted tonight!
KSR: And what about the comments by the Allied Powers?
JM: Who?
KSR: MisterJLA and Captain Howdy...
JM: Who's Captain Howdy with?
KSR: MisterJLA...they've won they're last few matches together and they're talking about the Tag Titles...
JM: They can talk about anything they want. They don't concern me. Come talk to me when they're actually in a position to demand a title shot.
KSR: Well, they'll be at ringside tonight and...
JM: If they decide to get involved in the Family's business...well, here's hoping they're smart enough not to get involved in Family business! The Family's Enforcer has no problem inflicting pain on two more people...
KSR: You heard it straight from the Euro-Cunt-Inental Champion himself! Back to you, Monroe and Marcum!!!
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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Camera cuts back to Madman Marcum and Mike "the Mouth" Monroe at ringside.
MARCUM:Strong words,as always,from the Bastardo Family's most famous and most ruthless enforcer!
MONROE:But before we get to our next match,let's go to The Crotch,who's standing by with Los Monstros Azules.
Camera cuts to The Crotch,who's inside the Bond Brigade dressing room with Senor Perdicion and El Daga.
CROTCH:Guys,we know you must be full of adrenaline,as El Daga prepares to take on Charlie in the first round of the MOD tournament,but that's not why you brought me here,is it?
PERDICION:No,senor. We brought you here tonight because we want you to be the first to hear the news that we are issuing a challenge to Mexico's Least Wanted for the XPW World Tag Team titles.
DAGA:These cabrones have been running their mouths off for weeks saying that they're the greatest tag team in the world,and we aim to shut their mouths once and for all! And furthermore,we want to teach that little cucaracha Senor Rob Blackandblue a lesson about what happens to those who disrespect RDCW!
Crotch does a double-take.
CROTCH:So let me see if I've got this right...you two are calling out Mexico's Least Wanted??
PERDICION:Si. They are pigs and their manager,Lady Insomnia,is a skanky puta,and we will take great pleasure in exposing them for the fools that they are!
With those words,Los Monstros Azules depart the dressing room to make their way to the ring for El Daga's match against Charlie and Crotch looks up at the camera.
CROTCH:Well,folks,you heard it here first--Los Monstros Azules have thrown down the gauntlet to Mexico's Least Wanted,demanding a shot at the duo's XPW World Tag Team titles! The war between RDCW and X-Cruciatingly Pathetic Wrestling has just escalated. Let's throw it back to Marcum and Monroe at ringside.
Camera fades back to Madman Marcum and Mike "the Mouth" Monroe at ringside. In the background we can hear RDCW fans cheering as they react to the news of Los Monstros Azules' challenge to Mexico's Least Wanted.
Estamos El Equipo Mas Grande En El Mundo!
VIVA LOS AZULES!
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Fuck off! 500+ posts
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Fuck off! 500+ posts
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 739 |
*Captain Howdy by Twisted Sister hits,and Captain Howdy returns to the ring. In one hand he has a baseball bat wrapped in razorwire,and in the other he has a trashcan.
He is wearing a rather torn & tattered Evil Cunt Wrestling t-shirt which starts off an Eee Ceeee Dub chant from the audience*
Cap:"Well,its good to know you guys aint forgotten."
*Chants continue*
Cap:"When Nowhereman arranged for me to come to the RDCW,I had a plan,and that plan was to bring a bit of true hardcore back to wrestling. Part of my deal was a one time only resurection of the company that entertained you guys,and broke most of us in this business.
I sat down with Nowhereman & Rob to hatch a deal that would not only get me back in the squared circle,but also give you guys something that you want........no,something that you need!
The RDCW built its reputation on guys that came from ECW,which is great,but there are other companies out there that have wasted the talent they appropriated from that once successful federation.
Now of course,this left us with a problem.
How can you have a reunion show without a good portion of the guys that made ECW what it was?
Thankfully Nowhereman has some good ties with a certain billionaire,and was able to thrash out a deal between the RDCW & Worlds Worst Entertainment,to allow some of the guys you know & love to once again step up & show who they really are.
On Sunday some of you are gonna see what true wrestling is,and some of you will get to see it for the first time.
Whatever it maybe,throw up those hands,scream out those three letters & watch the bloodshed commence!
Welcome back to the age of true hardcore!"
The old ECW theme blasts out & the audience goes wild chanting Eeee Ceeeee Dub while Cap looks around the arena with a smile on his face & the razor wired bat held above his head!*
You cant stop rock n' roll!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
MOD Tournament: James Fantastic vs. Winged Creature
Fantastic took control early but was momentarily distracted when Stupid Doog and Grace walked down the ramp. Creature took advantage with a low blow and seemed to have the match well in hand. Grace distracted the referee while Doog handed something to Creature. Fantastic, back on his feet, walks right into a fist from Creature. Creature quickly goes for the pin. The ref raises his hand in victory, but Creature drops something. The ref looks down to see brass knuckles, and immediately disqualifies Creature, awarding the match to Fantastic.
Hardcore Porn Title: TK vs. Grimm
The newly crowned Hardcore Porn King was ready to defend his title, as he and Grimm used everything but the kitchen sink as a weapon, and that was only because no one thought to bring one to the ring. Grimm finally took control and hit the 138 (DDT onto a steel chair) on TK, but when he went for the pin the lights went out, and Darth made his entrance, alongside Slick Willie Williams. This gave TK enough time to recover, and he was able to kick out at two. After this, Grimm seemed distracted during the rest of the match. TK finally nailed him with the Orchepocalypse to successfully defend his title. When TK left the ring, Slick sent Darth in. Darth hit Grimm with a Sabre Slam, and then Slick entered the ring, mic in hand.
Slick: Grimm, think of your ECW reunion as a vacation. Think of it as your last vacation. Because when Havoc returns, mah new Company man heah is gonna face you in the Mastah of Domain Tournament. And in that tournament, he's goin' tah finish you off. Fer good!
MOD Tournament: Charlie vs. El Daga
Charlie never gave El Daga a chance to get set in this match, attacking him from behind as he walked down the ramp. After bloodying him up outside the ring, Charlie finally threw him in. The bell rang, and Charlie hit Big Business for the pin.
Marcum: I think we have a new record for shortest match in RDCW history!
Monroe: You call that a match?
Marcum: No. I call it a model of efficiency!
MOD Tournament: Spandex Monkey Man vs. Howler
Howler put in an impressive showing, using several Full Moons and Wolfman Slams to maintain his advantage and catching several two-counts. But Spandex Monkey Man showed his amazing stamina and resiliency in the face of this assault, eventually using a well-timed Spandex Superkick to set up the Monkey Wrench that forced Howler to sleep and gave SPAMM the victory.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
DCMB World Championship: MisterJLA vs. Balls Nasty
Bad Company begins to play as Balls Nasty enters the arena. His pants are orange with the Confederate Flag on the back and the blue bars with stars down the sides of the legs.
Rob's Killer Instinct Music plays as JLA makes his way to the ring accompanied by Captain Howdy. He steps into the ring and dances for the audience unmindful of the boos. He then hands his belt to the ref, who holds it high for the Cheesedome to see before handing it to the ring attendant.
The bell rings and JLA bounces to the center of the ring. Nasty leaves his corner, and the two circle each other before finally tying up. JLA connects a couple of knees to Nasty's midsection. Balls Nasty goes down on one knee. JLA runs back into the rope and comes back with a swift punch to the side of Nasty's head. The ref reminds JLA not to use a closed fist as the DCMB champ repeats the process. The ref admonishes him again while the champ pretends not to know what the ref is talking about. As he approaches Nasty again, Balls Nasty hits JLA with a knife-edge chop to the chest.
Nasty returns to his feet and grabs a stunned JLA. Nasty executes a Northern Lights suplex with a bridge pin. The ref gets and one count before JLA kicks out. Nasty gets to his feet and walks over to the side of the ring, ready to run over JLA once the champ stands up. Captain Howdy grabs Nasty's feet from outside the ring. The ref sees it immediately and runs over to force Howdy to let go.
As Nasty moves away from the side of the ring, he returns his attention away from Howdy and back to JLA. The DCMB champ was already waiting and executed his devastating finisher, the Final Justice. But once his foot connected, Balls Nasty remained standing. JLA began hopping around while holding his foot in his hand in pain. Balls Nasty reached into the front of his pants and pulls out a metallic jock cup. He holds it high up in the air for everyone to see. He then brings it down across JLA's skull. Nasty then picks up the stunned champ on his shoulders and executes the Camero Cut. The ref turns around in time to get the three count.
James White: The winner, and new DCMB Champion....... Balls Nasty!
The ref raises Nasty's hand and tries to hand him the belt. Nasty pushes it away. The ref hands it to him again and tells him he has no choice. Reluctantly, Nasty takes the belt and stares at it for a few moments before returning to the locker room.
MOD Tournament: Chris Oakley vs. Highwayman
Chris practically owned this match from the beginning. His intensity and quick, lethal assault caught Highwayman by surprise. Forgoing any semblance of technical wrestling, Chris instead employed a brutal series of punches and kicks to subdue his opponent. Chris used his WMD to set up the Red Alert, driving Highwayman’s skull into the mat and knocking him unconscious. However, before Chris Oakley could get the pin that would move him into the next round, Rob Blackandblue ran out to the ring apron demanding his XPW World Heavyweight Title back. As the ref demanded that Rob leave the ring area, Chris had a good laugh, taunting the XPW owner. Unfortunately, the distraction was Chris Oakley’s downfall, as Darien Irons slid into the ring and hit Chris with his own finisher – The Full Metal Jacket. Darien then rolled Highwayman on top of Chris and rushed out of the ring and up the ramp. Rob Blackandblue quickly joined his man as the ref counted the pin and named Highwayman the victor.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Donkey Lovin' Tag Titles Trios Match
"Lets Get It Started" blasts over the speakers as Captain Sammitch, Meeko, and PenWing, make their way to the ring. The crowd's cheers quickly give way to boos as "Ecstacy Of Gold" plays, and King Snarf, Louie Bastardo, and Joe Mama walk to the ring.
Monroe: Here we go, folks! This is a Trios match. To win, both wrestlers of one team must be pinned, or the team captain, in this case, one of the managers, must be pinned! And the managers can't interfere in the match!
Marcum: It's just like SD-6 to put Meeko in harm's way!
Monroe: Madman, SD-6 denies making the stipulation! They said the Family wanted this!
Marcum: They're lying! Joe Mama clearly stated that the Family had nothing to do with this stipulation!
Monroe: Then who did?
PenWing and King Snarf start off the match. Snarf quickly tries to take control early with a few technical holds and quick roll-up attempts, but PenWing counters with some throws, and eventually whips Snarf into the ropes. Snarf grabs them, stopping his momentum, and PenWing clotheslines him out of the ring. Joe Mama quickly climbs the corner ropes and flies at PenWing with a forearm, sending both wrestlers to the mat. Lothar counts two and PenWing kicks out.
Marcum: PenWing forgot Trios rules! No tags! I love it!
Joe Mama starts going to work on PenWing. He fires off a series of punches and chops, but seems to be measuring up his opponent as he does it. PenWing is forced back into the ropes, where Joe Mama Irish whips him and tries for a quick Enforcer. But PenWing is able to grasp the ropes and halt his momentum. The two wrestlers smile, giving each other the respect that two Champions deserve. Joe Mama motions PenWing to 'bring it on' and PenWing is about to comply, but Meeko's cries outside the ring get PenWing’s attention. PenWing, seeing King Snarf trying to get his hands on Meeko, steps out of the ring and moves to intercept the former Heavyweight Cheese Champion. The smile is gone from Joe Mama's as he moves to follow PenWing, but Captain Sammitch slips into the ring and catches Joe Mama with a belly-to-back Sammitch Suplex. Joe Mama's momentum allows him to continue the roll, eventually ending back on his feet.
Marcum: Bad move by Sammitch, trying to interfere! He's gonna pay for that!
Monroe: What are you talking about? There is NO interference!
Marcum: All I know is Joe Mama and PenWing were about to give these fans the fight they came to see. Joe Mama is about to work his frustration out on Sammitch! I hope SD-6 reserved a hospital bed!
Joe Mama tries to lock up with Sammitch, but he slides under Joe Mama's arms and tries to set up another belly-to-back Sammitch Suplex. But Joe Mama wraps a leg around Sammitch's, halting the lift. Joe Mama manages to turn around, facing Captain Sammitch and, with a few head butts, Sammitch's belly-to-back Sammitch Suplex becomes Joe Mama's belly-to-belly suplex. Sammitch crashes to the mat and Joe Mama follows him with a series of punches to the head. Joe Mama pulls Sammitch to his feet, flings him into the ropes, and hits an Enforcer that seems to shake the ring. A Brain Buster later, Joe Mama pins Captain Sammitch for the first "elimination".
Marcum: One down! All they have to do is pin PenWing or Meeko and the Family wins!
Monroe: Don't count SD-6 out just yet. It's not going to be that easy to pin the champ!
PenWing pulls Sammitch back to their corner, and Joe Mama exits the ring in favor of King Snarf. Again, Snarf tries to overpower PenWing with a series of holds, but PenWing manages to force Snarf into the SD-6 corner, and he begins working over his leg. After a few minutes, PenWing locks Snarf into the Sharpshooter.
Monroe: Snarf's gonna tap!
Marcum: The Champ will never tap!
Snarf tries to get to the ropes, but PenWing pulls him closer to the center of the ring. Snarf continues to struggle, and it's all PenWing can do to keep him away from the ropes. But Snarf finally pulls PenWing to the corner, and he grabs the ropes. Lothar orders PenWing to break the hold.
Marcum: The Champ got to the rope!
Monroe: Too bad he's in the wrong corner!
PenWing steps out of the ring, and Sammitch enters, grabbing onto Snarf and executing a series of technical moves designed to pin Snarf. However Snarf still has a lot of fight in him, and Sammitch can't get more than a two-count on one of the pin attempts. Snarf finally breaks out of Sammitch's hold, and tries to kick him. Sammitch ducks, and as Snarf spins around, Sammitch grabs him from behind and executes a Sammitch Suplex. Sammitch hits another, and the crowd starts to count. Sammitch hits a sixth Sammitch Suplex, and roles out of the ring as PenWing flies off the corner turnbuckle to hit the High Holy Howe and get the pin on Snarf.
Monroe: An amazing display of teamwork to even the match! The first team to pin a manager, or the non-pinned wrestler, wins!
PenWing remains in the ring, as Joe Mama slowly enters.
Monroe: Joe Mama's taking his time re-entering the ring. Is he sizing up the Heavyweight Cheese Champion, or is he just intimidated?
Madman: Joe Mama fears no man! He's letting the anticipation build! This is the battle these fans want to see!!!
Joe Mama and PenWing slowly circle each other, taking each other's measure. The fans are reminded of the Unification Match last week. Each man is giving his opponent his full due. Finally the competitors lock up. Neither man seems able to gain an advantage over the other, so the holds are broken. Joe Mama steps back and dares PenWing to hit him in the face. But when PenWing swings, Joe Mama slips under the blow and locks his arms around PenWing's midsection, setting up a belly-to-belly suplex. PenWing heads towards the ropes to block the move, and Joe Mama releases the hold. PenWing turns to see Joe Mama chuckling. Then Joe Mama motions again to "bring it on" and the two wrestlers clash.
Joe Mama and PenWing trade closed fist in the center of the ring, with neither man gaining the advantage. Joe Mama switches to chops and backs PenWing into a corner, but PenWing reverses, cornering Joe Mama, and drives another series of fists into the side of Joe Mama's head. Joe Mama battles out of the corner and tries to execute a standing Enforcer, but a Gordie Howe stops that dead in its tracks. PenWing tries to counter with a Spin-O-Rama, which Joe Mama ducks under. He sweeps PenWing's other leg out from under him and tries to set up the Joe Mama-Lock, but PenWing gets to the ropes. As PenWing gets to his feet, Joe Mama hits him with a closed fist and Irish whips him into the ropes.
What happens next happens FAST.
PenWing bounces off the ropes and Joe Mama lifts him into an Enforcer. But PenWing turns in mid-air so his back is to Joe Mama - the Enforcer is broken! As he makes it down to his feet, PenWing tries to hit Sudden Death. But Joe Mama slides his forearms between his chin and PenWing's shoulder and gets the space necessary to counter the devastating finisher.
Madman: OH MY GOD!!! The Champions each blocked the other's major move!!!
Monroe: I think we're seeing a preview to a major PPV match, Marcum!!! These two are giving 110%!!!
Joe Mama grabs PenWing by the back of his neck and trunks and tosses him out of the ring. As he turns to survey the match, PenWing grabs him by the legs and pulls Joe Mama out with him. The two continue to brawl, making their way up the ramp. Snarf enters the ring, and yells for Meeko to join him. This gets Sammitch steaming, and he bolts into the ring, right at Snarf. Snarf takes Sammitch down with a drop toehold, and quickly locks in the dreaded headlock.
Marcum: This is it! The champs have the match!
Monroe: Both Sammitch and Snarf have already been pinned! Nothing Snarf does to Sammitch matters at this point!
Sammitch fights to get to his feet, but he is clearly weakened by the headlock. Finally, Snarf releases his hold, and quickly takes Sammitch out with the Bastardbomb. Using the in ring action as a distraction, Louie Bastardo is able to position himself right behind Meeko. He grabs her, and before she can react, Snarf is leaning over the ropes and pulling her into the ring.
Marcum: They've got Meeko double-teamed!
Monroe: And PenWing is too distracted with Joe Mama to notice! This is just like the Bastardos to pull something like this!
Marcum: I know! It's brilliant!
As PenWing and Joe Mama continue to brawl, now on the stage, Snarf pulls Meeko in close and says something to her. Her eyes go wide, and she slaps him. She tries to get away, but Snarf grabs her suit jacket, pulling it off of her. Meeko turns around and tries to kick Snarf, but he blocks her leg. He then grabs her blouse, but it tears away, revealing her pink tank top. This encourages Snarf, who finally corners her. Snarf grabs her, and carries her to the center of the ring, where he begins to force her down to the mat.
Marcum: Tonight, Meeko gets pinned by a real man!
Monroe: This is just sick!
As the crowd boos, PenWing dares a glance to the ring. Still tangled with Joe, PenWing quickly drops and rolls, surprising Joe as he kicks him over and behind him. PenWing then makes a dash for the ring. However, before he can get there, MisterJLA and Captain Howdy get to their feet. They grab their chairs, and together, they nail PenWing, sending him to the ground, unconscious. They then turn they attention to Joe Mama, who was blindly following PenWing down the ramp. Joe blocks JLA's chair shot, but he can't stop Howdy, who knocks him over the head. Snarf finally has Meeko pinned, and Lothar begins the count. Before he gets to three, JLA and Howdy are in the ring, and they pull Snarf off of Meeko. JLA hits Final Justice, and he and Howdy then follow up with the Allied Assault. Lothar signals the bell, and JLA grabs a mic.
JLA: It is time to set things right in the RDCW! Tonight. Tonight I had my DCMB Title…
JLA looks so frustrated that he can barely speak…
JLA: Tonight I had my DCMB Title stolen from me, but some clown name Balls Nasty, a shameless cheater! And tonight, my partner…check that…UNDEFEATED Tag partner and I, sat here and watched a complete abomination of a tag match. We did everything that was asked of us. We defeated The Playboys, two fucking robots for fuck’s sake, liberals, conservatives, Dark Lords, Bright Lords, Purple Lords, whatever: we beat ‘em all, and nobody has defeated us. Yet here we stand without the Tag Championships. Howdy and I had front row seats, and I can honestly say from what we've seen here that we can beat both of these sorry ass teams at the same time!
Put us in the ring with the “champs” Joe Mama and Queen Snarf, and throw in Sammitch and Penwing for good measure, and we will still walk out the Tag Team Champions!
I have been politely asking the powers that be here in the RDCW for our championship match for some time, but I guess asking for opportunities does not get things done here. No, we have to make things happen in this half-rate organization, and that’s just what we’ve done! We were forced to take it upon ourselves to show the world what we are capable of, and look at the results! Look at the carnage we created! The so-called champs and the former champs lying in a heap!
So this is not our fault! It’s the collective fault of the RDCW! You ignored us for too long, and now I know we have your attention!
But this is just the start! I’m putting the championship committee on notice! I want in on the MOD tournament, and if I have to start a petition to make me a MOD wrestler, I will do it! I also want my return match with Balls Nasty, and I don’t want a traditional match either! Either Hell in the Cell, or a Last Man Standing match, I don’t care… but it will be the greatest World Title match that this organization has ever seen!
Next week, things are going to change. Harleykwin, the greatest wrestling find of the year, will become the next Women’s Boobie Champion, thanks to me! And if Howdy and myself do not get a Tag Title match, we will tear down the Cheesedome brick by fucking brick!
Monroe: I think the Allied Powers have made a damned solid case for a Title shot, Marcum!
Marcum: I hope JLA knows what he’s getting Howdy and himself into! Neither one of these teams forgets a grudge! And neither one will forgive the Allied Powers for getting into their business!
The two teams pull themselves together, glaring at the triumphant MisterJLA as Havoc comes to a close…
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