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300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Monroe: Folks, Havoc just keeps getting better and better! Last week the Allied Powers pulled a stunning victory to win the Tag Team Donkey Lovin' Championship!
Marcum: They cheated the champ out of his victory!
Monroe: Former champ! The only way King Snarf gets a title shot now is to win the MOD tournament, and we don't even know if he's in it!
Marcum: Of course he is, just not this week. But Joe Mama is up tonight!
Monroe: He's facing off against Hardcore Porn Champion TK!
Marcum: If only the Daddy Mack would have put his title on the line! Then Joe Mama could become Euro-Cunt-Inental-Hardcore-Porn Champion!
Monroe: Speaking of Hardcore Porn champions, we've got four former champs facing off tonight!
Marcum: Wednesday is going to brutalize Captain Sammitch in their MOD match!
Monroe: I doubt that. But, we are going to see an amazing display of technical prowess! If you want brutal, we've got lots of that, too!
Marcum: Captain Howdy opens the night in a MOD match against the caveman, Urg. And later, he has invited Pig Iron to compete in what will hopefully be a weekly ECW Rulez match!
Monroe: Also tonight, Howdy's ally, MisterJLA, competes in his MOD match against Backwards7!
Marcum: And right before that, the Lipstick Lesbian titles are on the line! The Divas defend against Meeko and Terri Savitz!
Monroe: But before that match, we're getting another trios match, as the SD Rockers take on the Bastardo team of El Superbeasto and the Legbreakers!
Marcum: They're gonna break the band!
Monroe: But what's going to break in the main event, the Cell from Hell!?
Marcum: It's a no-holds barred hardcore match, in a barb-wire enclosed steel cage, with Last Man Standing rules! And there's going to be a special gate keeper, but we don't know who it is yet!
Monroe: And it's a title unification match! The XPW title dies tonight! The winner becomes the RDCW Heavyweight Cheese Champion!
Marcum: Can you imagine Oakley as champion? I may have to root for the knucklehead this time!
Monroe: Buhgawb! Good thing for you that if there's a draw, the MOD tournament winner becomes Big Cheese Champ!
Marcum: I always said The Doctor was a genius!
Monroe: Don't go anywhere, folks! The Havoc starts now!
Urg (34%, 10 Votes)
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Captain Howdy (66%, 19 Votes)
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Superbeasto/Legbreakers (46%, 13 Votes)
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Fantastic/2TT/Savitz (54%, 15 Votes)
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Wednesday (28%, 8 Votes)
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Captain Sammitch (72%, 21 Votes)
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Meeko/Terri Savitz (54%, 15 Votes)
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CJ/Bianca (46%, 13 Votes)
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backwards7 (14%, 4 Votes)
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MisterJLA (86%, 24 Votes)
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Pig Iron (40%, 12 Votes)
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Captain Howdy (60%, 18 Votes)
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TK (28%, 8 Votes)
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Joe Mama (72%, 21 Votes)
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PenWing (73%, 22 Votes)
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Chris Oakley (27%, 8 Votes)
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Last edited by Mike The Mouth Monroe; 2005-07-13 4:02 AM.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
Inside the Cheesedome ring, is a pedestal with a large rectangle-shaped box, covered with a red cloth. Next to that, is another pedestal half it’s size, with another, bigger object covered with a red cloth.
Suddenly the lights go out, and “We are the Champions” plays over the Cheesedome speakers. A spotlight is cast near the entranceway, and a huge limousine slowly pulls out from the back. It stops toward the beginning of the aisle, and a butler steps out of the limo. He opens the driver’s side door in the back, and out steps MisterJLA who is holding his RDCW Donkey Lovin’ Tag title in his left hand, and a sledgehammer in his right. JLA waits for the butler to open the opposite door on the limo, and when he does, Captain Howdy steps out, and just like MisterJLA, he holds his RDCW Donkey Lovin’ title held in his left hand, and a sledgehammer in his right. Both are wearing tuxedoes.
Both wrestlers stand and look around the arena, waiting for something to happen. A few moments later, red, white, and blue balloons fall from the top of the Cheesedome, and laser-lights of the same colors flash over the crowd. Confetti is also dropped, and then the two wrestlers finally make their way to the ring, which is now filled with both balloons and confetti.
The butler who drove the limo holds the ring ropes open, and the Allied Powers climb in the ring. JLA and Howdy then look toward the Cheesedome entrance, and then huge American and British flags are unraveled on each side of the Cheesetron. Fireworks go off for minutes until the music stops, and the lights are turned back on. Both JLA and Howdy place each sledgehammer down on the canvas. The Powers’ butler hands each man a microphone, and then he stands in a corner. JLA takes center stage. He looks out at the crowd, and pauses before he speaks. He looks impressed by the spectacle, and happy.
JLA: Tag…Team…Champions!
The crowd reacts with a mix of cheers and boos.
JLA: Now that’s the type of ring entrance we deserve! Balloons, confetti, laser-lights, fireworks, a limo, and a butler to hold the ropes open for us. By the way, thanks Jeeves.
The butler bows, and nods his head.
JLA: We have to keep that guy on the payroll. But as I was saying, that entrance is worthy of the Undefeated, Undisputed, Tag Team Champions of the World!
Again, the crowd reacts with a mix of cheers and boos.
JLA: Well Howdy, we finally did it. In our first Championship match, we did what we wanted to do. We showed the RDCW that we are, in fact, the greatest tag team ever. We took down the previous champions, and the champs that came before them in the same match. As usual, the deck was stacked against us. The powers that be must have thought that we couldn’t defeat two different teams in the same match: they were wrong. The powers that be must have thought that we couldn’t handle a brutal TLC match: they were wrong again. The powers that be must have thought that you wouldn’t be able to compete in two matches in the same night and win them both, and they were DEAD wrong!
The crowd shows their respect for Captain Howdy, and begins to chant “Howdy! Howdy!” The Captain shows a slight grin.
JLA: That’s right. So here we stand with the belts, and although we’ve been celebrating all week, we plan to do some celebrating here tonight as well. We’ve put together a “Greatest Hits” collection of footage, and here it is!
JLA points toward the Cheesedome, and the lights dim…
The Cheesetron flashes the date 5/2/05 on the screen…
JLA is seen talking to Captain Howdy:
JLA: So I'm here to help you...think of me as an ally.
Howdy: …I'd take old glory & shove it where the sun dont shine,but I reckon you'd enjoy that too much!
JLA: I'm sure you'd enjoy that sight. Look Howdy, we're off on the wrong foot, here. The fact of the matter is that The Playboys are very pissed at both of us right now. We should try to join forces for at least for one tag match. If we do well enough, perhaps we'll get a chance to fight for the tag gold. Plus, you can show the world that you are worthy of a rematch for the Hardcore Porn Championship if you give Wednesday a "jolly good thrashing' or whatever it is you people say. So...is it a deal?
The footage then shows Howdy and JLA shaking hands, marking the berth of the Allied Powers!
The berth of the Allied Powers!
A spotlight is briefly shown on JLA…
JLA: That brings back memories. That was the day we created the tag team juggernaut that stands before you all. Next clip!
A stuffy-sounding narrator speaks:
Narrator: Later that evening, the Powers defeated The Playboys with a double powerbomb, which would be named “The Allied Bombing”. There first victory was an impressive one.
Victory #1
The very next week, MisterJLA showed his loyalty to the Powers’, by choosing his team over Team GOP, even though JLA was part of the neocon conspiracy.
Second win
Footage accompanies the narrator’s words, and Howdy and JLA are seen giving wbam “The Allied Bombing” for their second win.
Narrator: The following week, the Allies were tested again, this time by Nowhereman…
Nowhereman:"Howdy,what the fuck are you doing tagging with that idiot JLA?"
Nowhereman:"The guy cant even wrestle. You are doing all the work & he's taking all the glory!"
And later…
JLA: Nowhereman! Where art thoust swine?
…
Just stay out of my business, or I'll have to add your Eurotrash belt to my collection!
Narrator: With MisterJLA scaring off Nowhereman, the Allies defeated Punch/Counterpunch, this time, with a new move, “The Allied Assault”
3-0
Next up for the Allies, was the Liberal Conspiracy, which would prove to be one of their easier matches…
MisterJLA is shown kicking Jim Jackson in the goods with a Final Justice, followed by “The Allied Bombing”
Fourth win
Narrator: The victory over the Liberals was the fourth for the Powers, who soon challenged the feared Dark Lords. Grimm was the only member of the team to show up for the match, but wrestling experts agree that even Darth’s presence wouldn’t have affected the outcome…
Footage is shown of the beating Grimm took. First a “Final Justice”, then an “Allied Assault”, followed by “The Allied Bombing”
5-0
Narrator: Despite the Allied Powers’ impressive 5-0 win streak, they were denied a title shot. Until the Powers made the RDCW stand up and take notice…
The Cheesetron rolls more footage…
MisterJLA and Captain Howdy get to their feet. They grab their chairs, and together, they nail PenWing, sending him to the ground, unconscious. They then turn they attention to Joe Mama, who was blindly following PenWing down the ramp. Joe blocks JLA's chair shot, but he can't stop Howdy, who knocks him over the head. Snarf finally has Meeko pinned, and Lothar begins the count. Before he gets to three, JLA and Howdy are in the ring, and they pull Snarf off of Meeko. JLA hits Final Justice, and he and Howdy then follow up with the Allied Assault. Lothar signals the bell, and JLA grabs a mic.
JLA: Put us in the ring with the “champs” Joe Mama and Queen Snarf, and throw in Sammitch and Penwing for good measure, and we will still walk out the Tag Team Champions!
Making a statement
A spotlight again is shown on JLA, while the lights remain dimmed.
JLA: And there you have it. The complete wrestling history of The Allied Powers. All five of our victories, including our beat-down of PenWing that prompted our title match. Oh but wait, there’s one match to be shown!
The Cheesetron finally shows highlights from last week’s TLC match, pitting the Allied Powers against Joe Mama/King Snarf, and PenWing/Captain Sammitch. The highlights include JLA beating Joe over the head with a chair, and Howdy’s execution of a Howdyslam on Snarf who was holding the Tag Titles in his hands. Howdy is then shown duping referee Lothar into thinking that Howdy took the belts from atop the ladder.
Crowning of the Champions!
The lights are restored, and MisterJLA and Captain Howdy are seen laughing…
Howdy: Snarf, you poof! Thanks for doing all that hard you did work by climbing the ladder for us! That was very nice of you to go up there and bring us our championships! Bender!
JLA: And I’d like to thank Joe Mama, too. He clearly could ended the match by reaching for the titles, but he decided to hit me with a “Flying Tea Bag Slam” instead. Let me tell you something Joe, that’s the difference between guys like you, and guys like us. A real champion would have ended the match, but no, you decided to get some petty revenge against me for something I did. Maybe it was because I made fun of the Red Sux before the match. Of maybe because I bent a steel chair over your head. Whichever. The simple fact remains that Howdy and I are the epitome of Champion Tag Team wrestlers, and you and Snarf were pretenders to the throne.
And that’s why we are here with your belts…but Howdy, don’t you agree that there’s something wrong with these belts? I mean, “Donkey Lovin’”?
Captain Howdy: Why, I do agree! These ugly pieces of crap are not worthy of champions such as us. Thank goodness we happen to have sledgehammers with us!
JLA motions to Jeeves, who removes the red cloth from the smaller pedestal, revealing…an anvil? Jeeves then hands each wrestler a sledgehammer…
JLA: It’s time we showed the RDCW what we think of these belts!
MisterJLA and Captain Howdy place the Donkey Lovin’ titles on the anvil, and begin to wildly swing away at the belts with their sledgehammers. Before long, each title is shattered, and the metal from the belts lies on the canvas. Both of the Allies hold up the broken belts for the crowd to see…
JLA: Garbage! That’s what these belts are! Who wants ‘em?
JLA and Howdy throw the broken championship belts into the crowd.
Howdy: Damn, JLA, I sure wish we had some belts to replace those pieces of rubbish!
JLA motions to Jeeves, who walks over to the larger pedestal, which has a rectangle-shaped box on top of it. He removes the red cloth covering it, revealing a glass display case. Inside, are two new championship belts.
JLA: Cameraman, take a close-up of that!
Jeeves then opens the case, and places one belt around JLA’s waist, and the other around Howdy’s.
JLA: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how it’s done!
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*Backstage, the Crotch is standing with Louie Bastardo, El Superbeasto, and the Legbreakers. Crotch: Louie, first of all, your thoughts on the Allied Powers and the new belts they've just unveiled here on Havoc? LB: Well, I'll tell you, those are some nice, new belts, aren't they? But there's only one problem, they've got Howdy and JLA's names on them! Well, I hope you two enjoy your brief reign as champs, because my Legbreakers are coming for you and they're gonna take those shiny new belts and bring them back where they belong, to the Family! Crotch: And tonight, the Legbreakers and El Superbeasto face off against the SD Rockers! *Superbeasto grabs the mic, engulfing the Crotch's hand with his own.ES: Fantastico, Surgeon Savitz, One-Nut Tommy. All have felt the wrath of Superbeasto. Now together with the Legbreakers, we will finish the job and put you out of action permanent! And Fantastico, do not think I have forgotten that guitar shot from last week. Tonight, is your payback. LB: Enjoy your stay in the hospital, boys. Hopefully they can put you all in the same room together. And don't forget to say hello to Nuriko for us.  *The group laughs at this as the Family walks off camera. Crotch: Let's get back to ringside!
I will destroy all of you putas. Greetings from El Superbeasto.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 739
Fuck off! 500+ posts
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Fuck off! 500+ posts
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 739 |
*We go to thedoctors office where Captain Howdy is looking rather agravated*
Doc:"Look,Howdy,I know how you feel,but you already have a match tonight."
Cap:"So? You know better than anyone else that I can handle more than one match a night,I did it last week didnt I,and even walked out with a shiny new belt!"
Doc:"Yes,but its my job to make sure all the RDCW superstars are looked after as much as possible........what you did to Tommy last week cost us a match later in the night."
Cap:"Look,its quite simple,you either book the match tonight,or you will have an unsanctioned match on your hands!"
Doc:"That aint gonna happen. If you so much as touch..."
Cap:"Uh uh,dont even go there. I know what you are gonna say,and you know that you cant pull that shit with me. You know as well as I do,you cant strip me of my title,suspend or fire me as I have friends in high places!"
Doc:"Thats not fair,you cant bring him into it!"
Cap:"I wont have to if you make the match. So whats it gonna be?"
Doc:"Dammnit,it goes against my better judgment but I can see you are gonna do this with or without my sanction. At least if its sanctioned,we will have some form of control!"
Cap:"You made the right decision Doc,now Pig Iron is gonna feel what its like to play with the big boys!"
You cant stop rock n' roll!
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
Camera cuts to MisterJLA, who is sitting in the Allied Powers' locker room. He is staring at both of the new RDCW World Tag Team Titles, while Captain Howdy is punching away at a punching bag. Jeeves is getting JLA's ring attire ready.
In walks Fat Retard, as JLA is talking to himself...
JLA: I can't stop looking at these belts! That Rob is one handsome mother...
Retard: JLA! By God! Tonight you have a match in the MOD Tournament with backwards7! Boomer Sooner!
JLA: Don't any one you nimrods know how to knock on a door? And aren't you part of the Secondary Announcing Team?
Retard: I haven't worked in months, and I tell you, I need the work! I need the work! I need the work!
JLA: You can say that again. So tonight it's backwards7, eh? Well, I'm going kick that limey in the nuts with such force...
Howdy: Shut your mouth!
JLA: I'm only talkin' about backwards7! Oh, right...the "limey" comment. Sorry, mate.
Retard: It looks like we might have an international incident here! Boomer Sooner!
MisterJLA rises from his chair...
JLA: And it looks like the RDCW sent you back here to try and cause some problems between Howdy and myself. Trying to get the champs to fight each other is that it?
Fat Retard looks terrified as JLA walks toward him...
Retard: No! I just wanted to get your comments on what's going to happen tonight when you face backwards7 in the tournament tonight on Havoc! Coming up next!
JLA: Well, Retard, let me..show you.
JLA winds his leg up, and hits Fat Retard with his feared Final Justice, his vicious kick to the balls. Retard hits the floor, screaming in pain.
JLA: Howdy? Why are you punching that bag? I've got something here you can hit, and it's got more padding.
Captain Howdy walks over to where JLA is. MisterJLA holds up Fat Retard, and Howdy punches away at Fat Retard's gut. He then punches Retard several times in the face, until security rushes in and saves Fat Retard.
JLA picks up Retard's microphone, and shouts into it:
JLA: backwards7! I'm going to beat you like a fat, retarded government mule if you dare show up in the ring tonight!
JLA throws the microphone at Fat Retard, who is lying in a pool of his own blood. The Powers walk off...
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*Standing in the halls is Chesty Lerou. She is speaking on a cell phone.*
Chesty: No, you're not going talk me out of this... I know, but it's my decision. I have to do whatever it takes, even if that means... I know, but I have to try.
Monroe: Talk her out of what? What is Chesty doing?
Marcum: Who cares? As long as the camera stays on Chesty, everyone wins!
*The camera pans out, and we see that Chesty has been standing outside the Company locker room. Chesty knocks on the door. It opens, and Annie walks into the hallway.*
Chesty: I need to speak with Slick.
Annie: Maybe Mr. Williams doesn't need to speak with you.
Chesty: Being the...man he is, he'll want to speak with me.
Slick: (from inside the room) Is that Chesty Lerou? Come on in, darlin!
*Chesty walks past Annie and into the room. Annie sneers at her and shuts the door. As the camera pans around the room, we see Highwayman, Howler, Charlie, and Balls Nasty playing poker in the far corner of the room, within arms length of a small fridge. Sindy is walking around the table, flirting with the boys. Slick is sitting on a couch next to the door, watching Havoc on a large plasma screen on the opposite wall.*
Monroe: What could Chesty be thinking, walking into that sesspool?
Marcum: Hey! That's the Company locker room!
Monroe: Yes, it is.
Chesty: May I sit down?
*Chesty doesn't bother waiting for Slick's reply as she sits herself next to him on the couch.*
Slick: Tell me, darlin, what can I do for you?
Chesty: Slick, may I still call you Slick?
*Chesty moves a little closer to Slick.*
Slick: Of course you can, darlin.
Chesty: Slick, I don't think that it's any secret that I like men with...power. And right now, you have the most powerful man in the RDCW in your pocket.
*Chesty places a hand on Slick's leg.*
Slick: Ah do at tha-at. *Ahem* Ah do indeed, that is.
Chesty: Slick, what would it take for you to call that man over here for me?
Slick: Ah'm sorry, darlin, but Ah don't know that the man will be all that interested in you anymore. Ah make shoor those Darkside Divas take good care of him.
*Chesty leans closer to Slick, putting her mouth at his ear.*
Chesty: Forgetting, for the moment, about the good care I could take of you-
*Chesty squeezes Slick's leg.*
Chesty: Think about how much more obedient the man would be if it was me standing next to him, instead of those...payroll girls.
Slick: Darlin, you make this a very hard proposal pass on.
Chesty: Call him now, and I'll show what it he really means when talks about the true power of the darkside.
*Slick reaches into his pocket and pulls out the Cell to Hell.*
Slick: You know, with this cell, Ah can tell him to do anything...to anyone.
Chesty: Yes, you can. (Chesty squeezes Slick's leg again) And so can I.
*Chesty jabs her elbow into Slick's groin and grabs the phone from his hand. As she stands up, Annie runs at her.*
Annie: You lying bitch!
*Chesty slips the phone into her ample bosom and grabs Annies dress. She pulls hard, sending Annie flying towards Sindy as her dress rips off. Sindy cushions Annie's fall, but winds up going through the card table in the process. This gets the combined attention of the Company.*
Monroe: Buhgawb! Chesty got the cell away from Slick, but now she's got the attention of the entire Company!
Balls: What the fuck!?
Annie: (franitically trying to cover her bare breasts) She's got the cell!
*The Company men look over Chesty.*
Highwayman: (with a very confused look on his face) Where?
Annie: In her tits!
Howler: (smiles) Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this!
*The four Company men begin to back Chesty into the corner across from the door.*
Monroe: Chesty's cornered!
Marcum: Give up the cell, Chesty! You're the biggest reason people watch Havoc!
*The Company locker room door suddenly explodes into the room. The four Company men quickly turn around, but they never get a chance to react as Grimm starts laying into them. In the commotion, Chesty slips out of the room. Slick, finally recovered from the low blow, grabs his lassoe and steps out of the room. He barely gets out of the way as Highwayman is sent flying into the wall across from the doorway. He's quickly followed by Howler. As the tag team collect themselves, Slick starts running down the hall after Chesty.*
Monroe: Chesty has escaped with the cell!
Marcum: Slick is hot on her heals! She can't get away now!
*Chesty runs down the ramp and into the ring as the crowd cheers her on. Slick gets to the stage and stops. He has a mic in his hand.*
Slick: Chesty, Ah'ma gonna give ya one chance to hand over that cell! Don't make me come and git it!
Chesty: Slick...you ain't never gonna git it!
*Slick starts running down the ramp as Chesty pulls the cell out and dials the number. Six. Six. Six.*
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*The main lights go out, replaced by a red glow. The "Imperial March" begins to blast over the speakers, and Darth slowly rises from beneath the stage. As he begins to stand to his full hight, he is hit by a steel chair. He drops to his knees. Before he can recover, two wrestlers grab his arms. The lights come back on.*
Monroe: Buhbawb! Howlerama made it out of the locker room, and they have Darth subdued!
Marcum: You never gamble against Big Business in America!
Slick: As you can see, Chesty, it's you who ain't never gonna git it! Darth belongs to me! Now hand over that cell or Ah'll have mah boys make sure Darth never sets foot in a ring again! Will you be able to live with yourself, Chesty, knowing that it will be because of you? Cause if that's the way you want him, hell, Ah'll give him to ya!
*Chesty loses all color in her face and drops to her knees in the ring.*
Slick: Chesty, you pulled a fine stunt, but you never had a chance against the Company.
Marcum: He's got that right!
*Slick starts to walk up the ring steps when suddenly, the lights go out. When they come back on, Slick yelps in surprise. He turns white with shock, and the camera pans out to show Darth standing behind Chesty.*
Monroe: Buhgawb! The Dark Lords have dismantled the Company!
*Chesty slowly rises to her feet, and a smile starts spread accross her face. She looks right past Slick to Grimm, who is standing over the unconscious bodies of Howlerama. Lying next to them, are Balls Nasty and Charlie, whom Grimm must have carried with him from the locker room. Slick starts to back away, up the ramp.*
Grimm: Where do you think you're going?
*Slick turns around to see the devistation on the stage, and impossibly turns another shade of white, as he realizes he has nowhere to go.*
Slick: Now, boys, Ah know we can make a deal!
*Darth reaches for the mic in Chesty's hand. She is startled to realize that Darth is standing behind her.*
Darth: All deals...are OFF! Beware the power, of the darksiiiiiiiiiiiddddddde!
*With that, Grimm runs down the ramp and blinds Slick with Grave Breath. He then picks Slick up and throws him into the ring. Darth walks over to him and sets up the pile driver while Grimm climbs the corner ropes. Grimm leaps into the air and connects for the spike pile driver.*
Marcum: How could this have happened?
Mornoe: When you deal with the Dark Lords, you just go Straight to Hell!
*Grimm takes a mic.*
Grimm: I see now the danger in holding such raw power in the palm of one's hand, not to mention his pocket. There is only one way to ensure that this never happens again. Chesty.
Chesty: Darth, there is only one thing to do.
*Chesty places the cell on the mat, and smashes it with her heel.*
Chesty: You're free now. Free to make your own decision. Free to do whatever you like.
*Darth looks at Chesty. He then looks over to Grimm.*
Marcum: Oh no. Now they've really done it! They've unleashed the Sith Lord, and now he's gonna destroy the monster Grimm! What a fool Grimm is to trust him!
*Darth looks at his hand for a moment, and then quickly reaches out, as if you grab Grimm's throat. However, Darth instead holds his hand out, open, to shake. Grimm takes his hand.*
Darth: In this business, everyone needs...allies. And there are none more...powerful...than the Dark Lords. For now, everyone will see the true power, of the darksiiiiiiiidddddddde.
*The "Imperial March" plays over the speakers as Grimm, Darth, and Chesty slowly leave the ring and walk up the ramp. They don't even bother to glance at the destruction they are leaving behind.*
Monroe: Buhgawb! Darth is a free man, and yet he chose to remain a Dark Lord! And he talked about the true power of the darkside as if we haven't seen anything yet! What does this mean for the RDCW? What does this mean for the tag team division? We'll have to take a break, folks, but don't go anywhere, because the show isn't close to being over!
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Posts: 28,009
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009 |
Backstage in Family Business' Locker Room...
Stupid Doog: All I know is that King Snarf's been openly pissed about the Tag match last week. But Joe Mama hasn't said a damn word about anything.
Winged Creature: Hmmmm...not a good sign...
Stupid Doog: I think something bad's gonna happen tonight. I just don't know...HEY CHAMP!!!
Joe Mama walks into the Locker Room. He glances at The Legbreakers, then walks to his locker.
Winged Creature: Big match t'night, Champ! You and TK in the MOD tourney!
JM: Yup.
Stupid Doog: Winner moves on into the semi-finals! Big Cheese Title shot on the line!
JM: Yup.
The Legbreakers look at each other, perplexed.
Winged Creature: Uh...Joe? Are you okay? You haven't said a thing since last week. I mean, it sucks about the tag match...
Joe Mama locks eyes on Winged Creature.
Stupid Doog: I think what he's trying to say is...
JM: You think I'm angry about the Allied Powers stealing away the Tag Team Don...the World Tag Team Titles? You think I'm blaming King Snarf for the loss? Is that what you're trying to say?
Winged Creature: Well...ummmmmm...
Stupid Doog: You haven't said too much about...
JM: They saw an opening. They took it. They're the Tag Champs. It happens. Tonight I face off against my good friend, TK-069. Former World Champion. Current Hardcore Porn Champ. The guy I beat to eventually win the Eurotrash Title. That's where my mind is at. Tonight, I'll defeat TK-069 and move on in the MOD Tournament. That's all I care about.
Winged Creature: But the Allied Powers...
JM: Are YOUR concern. You've been trained to win the Tag belts. A lot of my time, Bastardo money, and Grace strategy has gone into making you the best damn tag team in the RDCW. You've waited long enough. The belts are there for the taking. Go take them.
The Legbreakers nod knowingly...
JM: There's just one thing...
Stupid Doog: What's that, Champ?
JM: Tonight, MisterJLA ran off at the mouth. He showed incredible disrespect to the Family in general, and to me in particular. That can't be allowed to stand.
Winged Creature: You want us to take care of him?
JM: No, I want you to stay away from him. There's no reason to hurt your title hopes. I'll deal with him myself soon enough. I just want you to pay close attention. Your run for the titles begins tonight.
The Legbreakers grin at Joe Mama. We cut back to the ring...
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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Back in the ring, 'Sweet Child O' Mine' plays, but James Fantastic is nowhere to be seen.
Monroe: What is this? Where's Fantastic?
Marcum: Maybe Charlie finally managed to put him out of business!
Suddenly, Fantastic becomes visible, walking through the crowd, who go absolutely nuts, mobbing him. He disappears again, this time beneath a crowd of fans, but eventually emerges and vaults the barrier before rolling into the ring under the bottom rope. Coming to his feet he produces a mic
James Fantastic: Well, I don't know about you, but I thought that was bloody Fantastic! WHOO!
The crowd echoes his trademark catchphrase, and Fantastic grins
James Fantastic: Tonight, I face off against El Steroidobeasto and The Lebreakererererses, and on behalf of the SD Rockers I would like to sya this...
The crowd falls silent, hanging on Fantastic's words
James Fantastic: Kiss my arse! WHOO!
The crowd cheers loudly, chanting Fantastic's name
James Fantastic: Seriously, though, tonight's not about getting belts or taking down the Bastardo's. Tonight, and every night, is about putting on a show for a bunch of fans not a million miles from here...
Fantastic's next few words are drowned out by a deafening cheer from the fans. who know full well that he's talking about them
James Fantastic: Thought you might get who I was talking about! Tonight, you are gonna see high flying tag team wrestling since you ain't seen in years! WHOO! WHOO!
The crowd cheers loudly, but suddenly falls silent as...
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'Highway to Hell' plays, and Charlie hits the ring. Fantastic stands coolly as Charlie climbs into the ring, and the two foes stand face to face. Charlie raises a mic to his lips and speaks
Charlie: You wanna put on a show, Fantastic? You wanna give these fans their money's worth? How's about this, huh? A No DQ, No Quit, No Surrender, Street Fight at Wargasms? You want money's worth, how about the total dismantling of a talentless jobber not a million miles from here...
Fantastic loses his cool and goes to punch Charlie, but The Company Pitbull is too quick for him and nails The Tower of London on him. Fantastic goes flying, and Charlie continues his tirade
Charlie: At Wargasms, the gloves are coming off! I don't care if The Doc books the match or not, I am gonna DESTROY you, and anyone who stands with you! I have had ENOUGH of you and all of SD-6! I'm gonna finish you all off, once and for all, all at once or one at a time, I don't give a damn!
Whilst Charlie has been ranting, Two Ton Tommy and Tommy Savitz have entered the ring behind him, and choose this moment to attack. Charlie is promptly pummelled to a pulp, and Two-Ton Tommy seals the beating with a Tommybomb, leaving Charlie lying the ring as the pair help Fantastic to the back
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Sirens erupt from the screen and speakers….merging into the music.
Music then blares loudly…. The "Countdown To Armageddon” by Public Enemy intro music..reveberates through the arena.
Pig iron enters, head down, in his trademark black hooded robe. Slowly he enters the ring over the top rope, and stands motionless in the center of the ring. He motions with his fingers towards Monroe…a mic is quickly brought to the ring and Pig Iron snatches it from his hand, and he head back to the center of the ring head down…
Music stops…..
Marcum: what the hell is this?
Monroe: what am I, a microphone deliveryman?
Marcum: You could add that to your resume.
Monroe: Ha, yeah right. Well I did all that is he gonna talk or what?
Marcum: He’s a strange dude. That’s for sure. Wait….
Pig Iron lets his cloak fall to the ring. He is wearing his black leather one piece one strap down, garnered in chains and a tire iron. His gloved hands grip the mic tightly.
Pig Iron: Hmmm, captain Howdy. 2 matches in one night. Hmmmm. ECW rulez. I wanted a fair fight not a worn out, outdated, outmatched Howdy.
PI wipes his nose with his arm…..
PI: So, I figured I should let him have the first blow..for free. Any tool, any weapon, anything at his disposal…it will make us even. He can even bring his little buddy JLA…if he needs the crutch. Hey, maybe he’ll even use that chair, that glorious chair that cost him so dearly. Fool. He should know better than anyone that there are no rules…only the pain of losing and victory. But after all his banter, his posturing, and his 2 matches in one legendary night. All he will know is that for all his victories, all his past glory, he will lose much on this night. He will remember pain and loss and suffering. The pain of steel and iron as it crashes on his body and breaks his spirit. Will he lose 2 matches on the same night? It would be ironic for him, And he will know better than anyone that….. Irony is a dish best served cold.
Pig iron grabs his chains and his tire iron and raises them to the air to applause and boos.
Exit with countdown to armageddon playing in the background….
Monroe: That is a troubled young man.
Marcum: And clearly a little off in the head.
Monroe: Clearly a few too many ECW rulez matches.
Last edited by Pig Iron; 2005-07-17 3:26 PM.
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*In the SD-6 locker room, PenWing is preparing for his match when Meeko walks in carrying a package.*
Meeko: Pen, this just came for you.
*PenWing looks up. He reaches for the package and smiles as he realizes what it is.*
PenWing: I wasn't sure this would arrive in time.
Meeko: Care to let me on the secret? What is it?
PenWing: Just a little surprise for Oakers.
Meeko: About that, are you sure this is what you want? The Doctor hasn't even announced who the special gate keeper will be.
PenWing: Meeko, I'm about to enter a barbed-wire enclosed steel cage with hardcore and last man standing rules. The only people who will enter that ring are Oakers and me. All I care about is that the gate keeper prevents anyone from interfering in this match. Once that door is locked shut, and the bell rings, I'm going to make Hell in a Cell look like a walk on the beach. And after tonight, there won't be any doubt about what I mean when I say: SUDDEN DEATH RULES.
*Havoc goes to break.*
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
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*The Cheese-o-tron flashes to life to show Balls Nasty drinking a beer in a Honky Tonk somewhere in the White Trash District of Roboken.*
I'm not at the Cheesdome tonight because I don't have a match this week. But what kind of DCMB champion would I be if I didn't remind all of you people to call your good friends at Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe, Attorney's at Law.
*He raises the DCMB belt into view to show a picture of the three lawyers and their logo strapped to the center of the title.*
If you've been in a car wreck, an on the job accident, or any other mishap through no fault of your own..... Hell, even if it is your own damned fault, call the crack team of Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe. If you're hurt, someone needs to get sued; and these are the guys to do it. With over 40 combined disbarment hearings between them, they've proven just how for they'll go to get you that big fat check that you probably don't deserve. Just listen to this satisfied customer.
*Nasty grabs a guy's arm and pulls him into frame. The guy looks confused as Nasty points just to the side of the camera. The guy leans forward and squints. He then obviously begins reading something in a very slow, monotone voice.*
My life was turned upside down when, through no fault of my own, my pants spon....tan.....e.....ously combusted. I received sever burns all over my body. I could not perform my duties at work or at home. My inability to sexually satisfy my husband almost led to a divorce. Then the offices of Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe stepped in. They proved that the zipper created too much friction and ignited the spark that sent my jeans into a roaring inferno. Now, I've got a huge settlement, corrective surgery, and a husband that loves me.
*The man looks even more confused after reading the cue card. Balls Nasty shoves him out of the frame.*
So remember Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe Attorney's at Law. Because if something happens, no matter what, they'll prove in court that you're not responsible for it.
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MOD Tournament: Captain Howdy versus URG
What should have been the mismatch of the night quickly turned into the upset of the night when Captain Howdy used URG’s gullibility against him. When the bell sounded, Captain Howdy pointed to the roof of the CheeseDome and said “Birdies”. When URG looked up Captain Howdy hit him with a Cunt-Fu Kick on the chin to knock him down and a Cuntface Crippler to wear him out. Ten minutes in the finisher, and URG was eliminated from the tournament.
Trios Match: SD Rockers versus El Superbeasto & The Legbreakers
The power and mat wrestling of Family Business’ representatives was unable to counter the high-flying, high risk-taking SD-6 members. Tommy Savitz was able to get a measure of revenge against El Superbeasto when he locked in the Surgeon’s Knife and forced the giant Luchador to tap out.
MOD Tournament: Captain Sammitch versus Wednesday
The former Hardcore Champion took on the multi-decorated Captain Sammitch in a battle of high-impact wrestling and martial arts prowess. The match ended when Captain Sammitch, after a thrilling back-and-forth match, was able to hit the Sammitch Slam and then lock Wednesday up in the Sammitch Submission. Captain Sammitch moves on in the tournament.
Lipstick Lesbian Tag Team Titles: Anibabes versus Meeko & Terri Savitz
Meeko and CJ start off with a display of strong mat skills, but Meeko finally takes control with a series of German Meekoplexes, vertical Meekoplexes, and belly-to-belly Meekoplexes. Meeko tags in Terri, who hits the Flying Double Smash. Terri goes for the pin, but Bianca breaks the count. It's not long before Terri and Bianca are yelling at each other.
Marcum: Meeko and Terri are showing their inexperience as tag partners right now. This could cost them the match!
CJ gets to her feat and hits Terri with the Mace (two-handed strike). CJ quickly tags in Bianca, who tries to put Terri in a leg lock. Terri manages to break free and tag in Meeko, who quickly runs at Bianca and spears her. CJ climbs the corner ropes and leaps at Meeko with a flipping clothesline. Bianca is back on her feet, but Terri knocks her out or the ring with the Mystic East (Tiger Feint Kick). Terri then climbs the corner ropes and hits the Dive on Bianca, lying outside the ring. Meeko takes CJ to the mat with a Meekocanrana and puts her in the Meekolock.
Marcum: Meeko has CJ tapping, but she's not the legal wrestler!
Monroe: It's total anarchy!
Sneaky Bunny suddenly runs down the ramp. She slides into the ring and nails Meeko with the Boobie Belt. Lothar has no choice but to call for the bell. The Bastardo Bunny then hits the East Coast Hammer on Meeko. A womna in purple and black body suit appears out of the crowd and slips into the ring. Sneaky turns around to face her, but the woman hits a stunner on Sneaky. She then slips out of the ring and disappears back into the crowd. The Anibabes walk up the ramp clutching their titles while Terri helps Meeko out of the ring.
Monroe: Buhgawd!
Marcum: Who was that girl?!? Does she know what she just did?!?
Monroe: That was Lor! It seems that Lor has signed a contract with the RDCW! And she's targeted Sneaky Bunny! What will this mean for the Women's division?!?
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MOD Tournament: MisterJLA versus Backwards7
Rob’s Killer Instinct Rip Off Theme Music plays, and JLA begins to walk down the aisle, with his World Tag Team Title fastened around his waist. The newest addition to the Allied Powers, Jeeves, is walking alongside of JLA, waving a huge American flag.
James White takes the mic…
James White: Ladies and Gentlemen, this next event is scheduled for one fall, and is a Pool C MOD Tournament match.
First, being led to the ring by his loyal butler Jeeves, from the United States, one half of the World Tag Team Champion Allied Powers, MisterJLA!
The crowd shows their approval for the newly crowned co-holder of the World Tag Titles…
Marcum: It appears that JLA is gaining fans!
Monroe: The fans of the RDCW are a fickle bunch!
JLA rips the mic out of James White’s hand…
JLA: Cut the music! Here I stand, one half of the Tag Team Champions, and I’m introduced first?!? The champ should be introduced last! Don’t the fools that run this organization know that you save the best for last? And another thing…
MisterJLA is interrupted by “Turn the Page” by The Streets. JLA is so enraged, that he throws the mic to the canvas. James White tries to retrieve it, but JLA kicks it out of the ring. JLA then glares at White, who quickly exits the ring.
JLA: Smart move! He doesn’t deserve an intro!
Backwards7 emerges from behind the CheeseDome curtain, with a different mic in his hand, and begins to speak into it…
backwards7: I suspected that something like this might happen, so I brought my own mic!
The camera then pans to an extreme close-up of MisterJLA’s face, who is scowling…
backwards7: So I shall begin! Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing…the handler of the “Hackney Chin Grip”, the doctor of the “Doldrum”, the “Hasting’s Slip” superstar, the legend who retired the Brighton Hog, the Docklands Spar sensation…
As backwards7 continues to boast of his accomplishments, JLA continues to fume…
Marcum: backwards7 likes to brag about himself a lot!
Monroe: It’s not bragging if it’s true!
backwards7: …and the man who will force MisterJLA into crying like a little girl, backwards7!
Backwards7 finally enters the ring, and tosses his mic aside. Lothar calls for the bell, and the match is underway…
JLA and backwards7 lock up in the middle of the ring, and after some struggling, backwards7 connects with the “Doldrum”: A calculated blow to the body which knocks the wind of JLA! JLA is doubled over in pain, and backwards7 wastes no time in locking in the “Hackney chin grip”, which is a painful standing hold which targets the pressure points in the jaw!
Monroe: backwards has hit JLA with two of his trademark moves, and we’re not even 15 seconds into the match! And look at him, he continues to just keep JLA suffering, but keeping the “Hackney chin grip” in place!
Marcum: It ain’t over yet!
Jeeves jumps on top of the apron, and begins to yell at referee Lothar. Lothar turns his back to the action in the ring, and warns Jeeves about standing on the apron…
Monroe: Wait a minute! What’s JLA doing?
Marcum: It looks like…he’s smiling?
The camera clearly shows JLA smiling ear to ear. A look of dread washes over backwards7’s face, as he knows he stood in front of JLA for too long…
JLA connects with the “Final Justice”, and backwards7 hits the canvas.
Jeeves jumps off the apron, and JLA goes for the cover. Lothar turns around to face the action and mutters to himself “That was fast”
1…2…3
James White: Your winner in this MOD Tournament match, in just under 45 seconds, MisterJLA!
Monroe: That was our quickest Tournament match yet!
Marcum: backwards should have never stayed within arm’s…I mean a leg’s length that long! He was just asking for a kick to the balls!
MisterJLA’s intro music plays, and he stands over the fallen backwards7, laughing. He steps over to the ropes facing Marcum and Monroe, demanding a microphone again, which is why he doesn’t notice Joe Mama appear out of the crowd, slide into the ring, get behind MisterJLA and deliver a field goal-style kick to MisterJLA’s groin. MisterJLA lets out a high-pitched scream as he drops to the mat.
Monroe: Looks like Joe Mama was looking for some Final Justice of his own!
Marcum: That was the most brutal Back Sack Whack I’ve ever seen! I’m in pain just seeing it!
Monroe: Gotta agree with you there, Marcum!
Joe Mama lifts MisterJLA with a Fireman’s Carry, making sure to deliver a forearm shot to JLA’s wounded pelvic region as he does so. Then Joe Mama executes an East Coast Hammer, driving MisterJLA headfirst to the canvas. As “Faded” plays, Joe Mama shares some choice words with the fallen Allied Power, and then leaves the ring through the crowd.
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ECW Rulez Match: Captain Howdy versus Pig Iron
David: Okay, so here’s what I’m seeing for this match. Both men enter the ring to their entrance music.
Bradley: What was Pig Iron’s entrance music again?
Jason: “Creeping Death”. Metallica.
David: Nawwwwwww…he changed it. It’s Public Enemy’s “Countdown To Armageddon”.
Bradley: That’s right. I remember now.
Jason: Cool sirens.
David: Right. So, they’re in the ring. Face-to-face. Staring each other down. Pig Iron slaps Howdy, all defiant. Howdy can’t believe it! He turns to the crowd, as if to say “Did you see that shit?”
Jason: More like “shite”.
David: Whatever. So Howdy’s looking at the crowd. Pig Iron slaps him on the ass. Captain Howdy turns, pissed off, and Pig Iron leaps up in the air and slams Howdy to the canvas!
Bradley: He slaps Howdy in the ass???
Jason: He “leaps up”. And then “slams” Howdy to the canvas???
David: RIGHT!!!
Jason: How does he do that? Is that even possible???
David: I dunno…uh, yeah! Sure it is! So, Howdy’s all stunned and Pig Iron’s all “look at me! I rule!!!”…which gives Howdy the chance to shake off the ol’ cobwebs. He gets out of the ring, grabs a manhole cover, re-enters the ring, and smacks Pig Iron with it! Then he just goes to town on Pig Iron, using a gamut of wrestling moves to beat down Pig Iron.
Jason: A “gamut”??? How many is that???
Bradley: A lot. (To David) Go on…
David: Okay, so Pig Iron gets his strength back…
Jason: HOW?!?
David: Power of the Pig.
Jason: (rubbing temples, eyes closed) ...of course...
David: Pig Iron back flips into Howdy! Howdy’s stunned! Pig Iron just beats the crap outta Howdy!!! And then…!!!
Jason & Mr. Bradley: YES??? AND THEN???
David: AND THEN…Elisa flashes her boobs at Pig Iron!!!
Jason & Mr. Bradley: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?
David: Elisa flashes her boobs at Pig Iron! He’s distracted! Horny! He’s not paying attention!!! And Captain Howdy knows that, so he uses a Small Package and pins Pig Iron!!! Captain Howdy wins!!!
Jason: Are you kidding me?!?
David: NO! Isn’t it GREAT???
Bradley: Where did Elisa come from? Harleykwin teams with the Allied Powers!
David: I’m mixing it up for excitement!
Jason: I think YOU’RE mixed up!!! Where’d you think this up???
Bradley: Were you drunk when you came up with this???
David: Uhhhhhh…noooooooo…but Pig Iron was. And this was the only Recap I got for this match.
Jason & Bradley: (Pause)…Go with it.
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MOD Tournament: Joe Mama versus TK-069
These two former friends locked up for the first time since their #1 Contender’s Match for the Eurotrash Title. TK-069 was no match for the more vicious Bastardo Family Enforcer. Joe Mama used his Greco-Roman roots to keep TK-069 off his feet, and his brutal high-impact slams and suplexes to keep the advantage. After executing a textbook Enforcer to drive TK-069 into the mat, Joe Mama hit him with a Flying Tea Bag Slam to get the pin and move on in the tournament.
The Cell From Hell: PenWing versus Chris Oakley
Back from break, the barbed wire steel cage has been lowered around the ring area.
Monroe: Buhgawd! Folks, we are just moments away from witnessing the first ever Cell from Hell!
Marcum: Two men will enter the barbed wire steel cage, and once it's locked, it stays that way until one or both wrestlers stay down for a ten-count!
Monroe: But before PenWing and Chris Oakley make their way to the ring, we await the arrival of the special gatekeeper! Who will The Doctor entrust to prevent any and all interference in this match?!?
James White is standing in the ring, mic in hand.
James White: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following main event, the Cell from Hell, is for the unification of the RDCW Heavyweight Cheese Title and the XPW World Heavyweight Title. This is a hard-core, last man standing match! Introducing first, the special gatekeepers-
Monroe: Keepers?
Just as Monroe stops speaking the lights go out in the CheeseDome. They are replaced by a red glow, and "The Imperial March" blasts over the speakers as the Dark Lords rise from beneath the stage.
James White: Grimm and Darth, the Dark Lords!
Monroe: Buhgawd! The Dark Lords are the special gatekeepers!
Marcum: After what happened earlier tonight, they may be the only one's suited for this job!
Grimm and Darth make their way to the cage door, where Lothar hands them the lock and key. The Dark Lords position themselves on either side of the cage door, facing the ramp, and wait.
James White: Now, introducing the XPW World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Oakley!
"Rooster" blasts over the speakers and Chris Oakley rides up on one of Ian Bond's Triumph motorcycles. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction. He parks the bike on the ramp, and walks up to the cage. After admiring it for a moment, Oakley enters the cage and walks up the steps to the ring. He holds up the XPW title for the crowd.
James White: Now, your Heavyweight Cheese Champion, PenWing!
The stomping beat of "We Will Rock You" blasts over the speakers and the fans roar to their feet and sing along as PenWing, with the Big Cheese Belt around his waist and his Sherwood in hand, makes his way to the ring.
Buddy you're a boy make a big noise
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your can all over the place
Singin'
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
Everybody
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
Alright
PenWing walks right past the Dark Lords and enters the ring. He removes the Big Cheese Belt from his waist and holds it up for the crowd. Lothar then takes both belts and hands to James White, who exits the cage. Darth closes the cage door and Grimm locks the chain in place, sealing the only way in or out of the Cell from Hell. Lothar signals for the bell, and Oakley wastes no time charging PenWing. He sends him into the ropes with rights and then grabs his arm to whip him to the other ropes. PenWing reverses the move, and nails Oakley with the Drag 'n’ Whip. PenWing quickly goes to work, punching Oakley repeatedly on the mat.
Monroe: PenWing is continuing right where these two left off in the hall last week!
Marcum: Oakley's gonna have to do something fast before PenWing knocks his lights out!
Oakley manages to get a hold of PenWing's hand and he kicks him off and over him, onto the mat. As Oakley slowly gets back to his feet, PenWing flips up to his own, and quickly hits a Spin-o-Rama, but Oakley catches PenWing's leg, and throws him into the corner ropes. Oakley then runs at PenWing and clotheslines him, sending both of them out of the ring and to the ground. Oakley is first to get back to his feet and he runs at PenWing, picking him up and slamming his back into the barbed wire steel cage, tearing PenWing's jersey.
Marcum: First blood!
Oakley leaves PenWing and walks back to ring. He reaches under and pulls out a couple of trashcans with lids. Oakley walks over to PenWing, who has fallen to his knee, and swings the trash can down on him. PenWing gets his arm up, and amazingly dents the trash can. Oakley tosses it aside, but PenWing grabs Oakley's arm and whips him face first into the cage.
Monroe: Now Oakley's bleeding!
PenWing walks around the ring and reaches under, pulling out a Sherwood. He walks over to Oakley and breaks it on him with a British Columbia Two-Hander. PenWing then walks over to get the other trashcan, but when he turns around, Oakley hits him with one of the lids. As PenWing recovers, Oakley throws the other lid behind him, and hits PenWing with the Full Metal Jacket, right onto the lid. Oakley then throws the unused trashcan into the ring, and rolls in under the ropes. He grabs the trash and climbs the corner turnbuckle. Oakley jumps, holding the trash can in front, but PenWing manages to roll out of the way just as Oakley lands, causing him to miss the WMD.
PenWing slowly gets back to his feet. He walks over to Oakley and grabs his arm. PenWing then pulls and sends Oakley into the ring steps. PenWing then reaches under the ring and pulls out another Sherwood. He swings, breaking it on Oakley's knee. PenWing then helps Oakley back to his feet, and over to the cage. PenWing slams Oakley into the cage, violently. He then uses his foot to hold Oakley's knee against the barbed wire. Oakley tries to fight back, and manages to push PenWing off of him.
Monroe: Oakley finally got out of that hold, but the damage has been done!
Oakley limps over to the ring and reaches under, pulling out a baseball bat. He walks over to PenWing and swings the bat, but again PenWing raises his arm and somehow blocks the bat without hurting himself. PenWing grabs Oakley's arm and sends the bat into the ring. He then whips Oakley into the ring post. After a moment, PenWing helps Oakley slide back into the ring. Oakley crawls for the bat while PenWing reaches under he ring.
Monroe: Oakley has the bat!
PenWing is looking down at something in his hands, just below the ring apron. Oakley approaches him and stands ready with the bat. PenWing yells something at Oakley, causing him to lose composure. He runs at PenWing, who produces a fire extinguisher. PenWing sprays Oakley, slowing him down just enough to be able to enter the ring and dive at his knee with the fire extinguisher.
Marcum: PenWing is destroying Oakley's knee! I've never seen the knucklehead work someone over this vicously before!
PenWing grabs Oakley's legs and locks in the Sharpshooter. Oakley screams in pain. He tries to pull PenWing to the ropes, but PenWing manages to move them to the center of the ring. Just as it looks like Oakley is about to pass out, he looks over and sees the bat lying on the mat. Oakley uses all of his strength to reach for it. He grabs the bat and swings at PenWing's knee, causing him to release the hold. Oakley rolls out of the ring, still holding the bat. He collects himself on the ground. PenWing exits the ring on the other side, and grabs a steel chair from under the ring. He walks around to Oakley, but they both swing at the same time. Oakley grabs PenWing and pulls him against the cage face first, shredding the front of his jersey. He follows it with a splash. Oakley then walks over to the ring and slides out a table. As PenWing recovers, Oakley sets the table up outside the ring. He then walks back to PenWing. PenWing punches him, but Oakley gives it right back. The two continue to trade blows. Oakley finally grabs PenWing's arm and whips him into the ring post. Close enough to the table, Oakley lifts PenWing up and Red Alert's him right through it. Oakley then goes to another side of the ring and pulls out another table.
Marcum: What is Oakley doing? He should be waiting inside the ring for the ten count!
Oakley walks over to PenWing and helps him back to his feet. He sends him face first into the steel cage again, and then hits him with a DDT onto the ground. Oakley half drags, half carries PenWing to the other table, and lays him on top of it. Oakley then pulls out a ladder and sets it up. He climbs up and jumps, but PenWing has had enough time to recover, and he rolls out of the way. Oakley goes through the table, but he misses connecting the Kill 'Em All on PenWing.
Marcum: Oakley just put himself through the table!
With both wrestlers lying on the ground, Lothar begins the count. He gets to seven, and both wrestlers are almost to their feet. PenWing strikes first, spearing Oakley into the ring apron. He then lifts Oakley up and slides him under the ropes. PenWing rolls in right after him. Before Oakley can get fully back to his feet, PenWing takes control with the Spin-o-Rama Lock.
Monroe: PenWing has Oakley in a headlock! How much more can he take?!?
Oakley pulls PenWing forward, flipping him over and onto the mat, and breaking the hold. From here, the match takes an interesting turn, as the two wrestlers begin to work each other over on the mat with textbook technical holds. Knowing there are no pin counts, the two take as many liberties as they can, trying to wear each other down. Finally, Oakley is able to set up the Lock and Load, but PenWing manages to spin Oakley around and hit lock on for a perfect belly to back Meekoplex. PenWing hits a second Meekoplex, and a third.
The crowd counts: Four! Five! Six!
Oakley breaks the hold on the sixth, and manages to get around PenWing to lock in Snuff the Rooster.
Marcum: Oakley is snuffing the life out of the knucklehead!
Monroe: I thought you said you were going to root for PenWing tonight?
Marcum: I'm rooting for a tie! It won't be long before both of these idiots take each other out for the full ten count! Then King Snarf can just win the MOD tournament to reclaim his title!
Monroe: We don't even know if he's in the MOD tournament!
Marcum: Oh, he's in it all right! You'll see!
Monroe: Right now, I see PenWing about to be counted out!
As if on cue, PenWing comes back to life with a double elbow to Oakley's sides. Oakley releases the old for a moment. He then reaches around PenWing again, and turns so that they are both facing the corner turnbuckle. Oakley tries to lift PenWing into a suplex, but PenWing nails Oakley with a Gordie Howe, bloodying his nose. Oakley loosens his hold, and PenWing reaches back for Oakley's head. He holds Oakley's head in a face lock against his shoulder for Sudden Death, but instead of dropping down, he runs towards the corner and runs up the ring ropes with the face lock still applied. PenWing kicks off the top rope and back flips the over Oakley, driving him down onto the back of his head.
Monroe: Buhgawd! PenWing hit the Winged Wheel!
PenWing gets back to his feet and climbs over the ropes and up the ladder, still standing just outside the ring. At the top, PenWing removes his shredded jersey, revealing brass elbow pads.
Monroe: Buhgawd! The package was brass elbow pads! That was PenWing's surprise for Oakley!
Marcum: That's fucked up! That ain't right!
Monroe: But it's legal!
PenWing leaps off the ladder and nails Oakley with the High Holy Howe! Lothar starts counting. PenWing is still down at four.
Marcum: I think PenWing may have taken himself out with that last stunt! We're gonna have a tie!
At seven, PenWing finally gets back to his feet. Oakley stays down.
The crowd helps Lothar complete the count: Nine! Ten!
Lothar signals the bell, and Grimm unlocks the cage. James White enters the ring with the titles as "Gonna Fly Now" blasts over the speakers. SD-6 comes running down the ring to celebrate PenWing's victory as Havoc comes to a close.
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