RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Wednesday Night Havoc Special! 8.10.05

*Havoc opens to a black screen with the words: After WarGasms...

The camera shows the inside of the SDC locker room as the door opens. PenWing and Meeko help Captain Sammitch to the couch. PenWing grabs some ice packs from the freezer as Meeko grabs the first aid kit. Before they get a chance to start treating Sammitch, the SD Rockers barge into the room, visibly upset.*

James Fantastic: Will somebody please explain to me what the HELL just happened there. Penwing, the match was in the bag, and you quit! the HELL?

PenWing: Look at him! Because I quit, he was able to WALK out of the ring! Had Joe hit that brain buster, Sammitch's career could have been over! It was a lose/lose situation!

Tommy Savitz: The Sharpshooter was locked in! Snarf would've tapped!

PenWing: Not before Joe would have ended Sammitch's career! It was my pride or his life!

James Fantastic: Dammit man!...Look, I can dig trying to help your buddies, but the fans out there are more important than our careers, and The Bastardo's are screwing the whole show over! WE coulda got even, and you walked away!

Meeko: James, he made the right choice. He made the only choice as far as I'm concerned!

Two-Ton Tommy: Of course you're concerned.

Meeko: And what exactly is that supposed to mean?

Two-Ton Tommy: It means you didn't show this much concern when Grace almost ended Nuriko's career!

Meeko: I didn't show concern? I did everything I could to take care of her! I got her the best doctors and the best physical therapists!

Two-Ton Tommy: And you got yourself a new tag team partner and placed yourself back in singles compition!

Meeko: What was I supposed to do? Sit back and let the Family think they won? We lost a key member to our faction just weeks after we formed it, and I went out and found two new additions!

Tommy Savitz: And I'm grateful for the support, and so's Terri, but after YOU brought Lor here, she's barely been able to stand after what that psycho bitch did to her! This ain't working anymore.

PenWing: Meeko has done everything within her power to get all of you the matches you've asked for.

James Fantastic: Haven't you been listening? This ain't about us, it's about the people sitting in that arena out there, and you've stopped caring about them!

Meeko: And just what exactly is that supposed to mean?

Tommy Savitz: It means that the SD Rockers ain't Sudden Death no more!

James Fantastic: We quit. We're not working with people we don't trust.

Two-Ton Tommy: Or people we don't respect.

*The former SD Rockers walk out of the room and shut the door behind them. Meeko looks over to PenWing who suddenly has a very hard look in his eyes. PenWing looks to Meeko, and speaks in a low voice.*

PenWing: This doesn't change the rules. Not for them. Not for Louie Bastardo. And not for Joe Mama.

*The image is replaced the the RDCW logo and "March of the Pigs" by Nine Inch Nails starts playing to the Havoc opening video. The camera cuts to the announce table at ringside, where Mike "The Mouth" Monroe and Madman Marcum are standing by.*

Monroe: Buhgawb! The SDC just blew up in Meeko's face! Can it get any worse?

Marcum: It can! There is no word yet on how long Sammitch will be out! Joe Mama gave him a beating at WarGasms he won't soon forget!

Monroe: And speaking of Joe Mama, he walked out on the Family! I never thought I would see the day!

Marcum: I have no idea what happened! One second everything was fine, and the next, the former Family Enforcer blew up in Louie's face!

Monroe: With the SDC in shambles, is the Family Business far behind?

Marcum: Don't count on it! Louie Bastardo is a genius! The Family will continue to go strong as ever, even without Joe Mama!

Monroe: But can they survive without Balls Nasty? Captain Howdy is looking for revenge tonight as he puts the Hardcore Porn Championship on the line in an ECW Rulez match!

Marcum: Howdy has lost his mind! Balls Nasty should have regained the DCMB Championship at WarGasms! Howdy is just playing right into his hands!

Monroe: What about El Superbeast? He's going one-on-one with Hollywood Hulk Nogan in a table match!

Marcum: El Superbeasto will finish the job he started at WarGasms, and finally put an end to Nogan or Nowhereman or whatever he wants to call himself!

Monroe: If anyone is going to be put to an end tonight, it just might be Punch/Counterpunch! The Dark Lords are fuming after losing the WarGasms match, and Punch/Counterpunch played right into their hands by accepting to face them in a cage match tonight!

Marcum: This is one time I won't argue with you about the Dark Lords. After what happened at WarGasms, only a fool would even think of setting foot in a ring against them! But a steel cage!? That's fucked up!

Monroe: If you thought the show couldn't get better, we've got three tag team matches, and two of them are for titles!

Marcum: Charlie and Howlerama will dismantle the former SD Rockers in their six-man tag match tonight! I can't believe I'm going to say this, but it was a mistake for Jimmy Faboo and his wannabe rock stars to walk out on the SDC! There is strength in numbers, and the Company far out numbers the three of them!

Monroe: I'll agree with that! A challenge has been accepted, and the RDLL championhip match has turned into a four-team brawl for the titles! The winner of this match will face the RDCW World Tag Team Champions on next week's Havoc!

Marcum: The Legbreakers will finally achieve their dream of attaining championship gold this week, and next week, they'll show the Allied Powers what it takes be real champions!

Monroe: But the Allied Powers might not be the team to defend the RDCW World Tag Team titles next week! First, they have to successfully defend against the Unholy Alliance!

Marcum: Just who is this Unholy Alliance? I've never heard of them! This must be another bunch of jobbers MisteJLA decided to bring in to further his ego!

Monroe: We'll find out who they are later tonight! But before that, all hell is going to break loose on this special Wednesday night edition of Havoc, and it starts now!

RDCW Rulez: Hardcore Porn Championship single choice

Captain Howdy (Champ) (83%, 10 Votes)

Balls Nasty (17%, 2 Votes)

Total Votes: 12 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-11 4:44 AM

6-Man Tag Team Match single choice

Charlie / Howler / Highwayman (33%, 4 Votes)

James Fantastic / Tommy Savitz / Two-Ton Tommy (67%, 8 Votes)

Total Votes: 12 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-11 4:44 AM

Table Match single choice

El Superbeasto (17%, 2 Votes)

Nowhereman (83%, 10 Votes)

Total Votes: 12 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-11 4:44 AM

Cage Match single choice

Dark Lords (83%, 10 Votes)

Punch / Counterpunch (17%, 2 Votes)

Total Votes: 12 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-11 4:44 AM

RDLL Tag Title 4-way single choice

Los Vatos de Fuego (Champs) (8%, 1 Votes)

Homeland Security (0%, 0 Votes)

Los Monstros Azules (25%, 3 Votes)

Legbreakers (67%, 8 Votes)

Total Votes: 12 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-11 4:44 AM

World Tag Team Championship single choice

Allied Powers (Champs) (75%, 9 Votes)

Unholy Alliance (25%, 3 Votes)

Total Votes: 12 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-11 4:44 AM

Sirens erupt from the screen and speakers….merging into the music.

Music then blares loudly…. The ‘Countdown to Armageddon” intro music..reveberates through the arena.

Pig iron enters, head down, in his trademark black hooded robe. Slowly he enters the ring over the top rope, and stands motionless in the center of the ring. He motions with his fingers towards Monroe…a mic is quickly brought to the ring and Pig Iron snatches it from his hand, and he heads back to the center of the ring head down…

Pig Iron: “You’re sniveling and annoying Monroe. A coward like Captain Howdy and his boy toy JLA. Wait, I smell something …it smells like crap… crappy wrestling entertainment. Like the Howdy/ Balls Nasty match. Fans want to revel in gladiatorial conquests of human will, see sweat dripping from the depleted- sinewy muscles of modern day warriors, and call out for the blood of men not fit to stand in the ring.”

Monroe: “ Wow, what a jerk…where’s he goin’ with this anyway?”

PI: “ Pipe down Monroe. This is my time..so shut your wretched trap before I give you a chair to those pearly whites. Anyway, I came here thinking I was going to be with the best. Instead I get a wall at every corner. Rigged matches, not getting a fair shake, and mostly being annoyed by the pathetic curmudgeons that the elitist corporation wants to push. The fans push the company, the fans cry out for who they want to represent them. The fans decide what is entertainment, and what is crap. Guess what? I ‘m a fan too, a fan of brutal matches and stories that will last for centuries like the struggles of greek heroes and demi-gods. I see few men here that can even remotely fathom or imagine the concept of becoming a legend. A hero rising by the will of the people, gathering strength from their combined belief, and translating that will into victory.”

Monroe: “ Hah, he’s lost it.”

PI: “ bring me tables, chairs, chains, hammers. Bring me real men with a desire to become legends. Bring them to the ring, let us duel in a conflict that will reverberate and echo through the crowds of the people for years to come. An event spoken of in reverence for it’s glory … Glory to all the men who sacrificed their bodies for the people. Everyday in this ring should be such a day. So come true men, any true warriors meet me here tonight. Come what may...I will vanquish all opponents, and carry the torch of the people like a beacon of hope, a hope for something other than this crap that the corporation feeds us all night after night. Bring me a sacrifice, give the people their willing body to be brutalized and torn asunder….Come and be judged by the crowd, anyone who is willing, all who are willing…let this be a night of glorious battle…”

Monroe: “ what is he a self-proclaimed revolutionary? This guy has truly lost his mind. He isn’t even that good.”

PI: “ Bring me anyone, everyone…the crowd desires adrenaline and feverish mania….”

*the lights darken as "Black Wedding" begins to play. fog spreads into the CheeseDome as blue lights swirl in the arena. "Backstage Pass to Hell" kicks up as Grimm walks out onto the entranceway, mic in hand. His forehead is taped, as are his ribs and both hands.

"So let me get this straight. You want brutality? You want bloodsheed? You want to go all the way. . .STRAIGHT TO HELL?!"

Grimm continues down the rampway as the fans go wild.

"Well, why don't you step up to this, Piggy? I've been thinking I've been a little too complacent around here the last few months! I've been content to sit back and watch others take the spotlight! Well, last night at Wargasms, the MONSTER was awakened! And he woke up in a bad mood!"

Monroe: The monster's alive!

MarcuM: That can't be good!

Grimm climbs into the ring and stands nose to nose with Pig Iron.

"So if you wanna go at it, let's go!"

PI: “Anything goes Grimm. Anything. The crowd requires blood, and a men with hearts. Ironic that I come here as a voice for the people to awaken this company, and you awaken at the same time.”

Pig Iron lets his robe fall from his shoulders.

PI: “ ‘til unconsciousness…”

*With a quick turn of his hips Pig iron sharply turns his elbow into Grimm’s stomach. PI grabs grimm’s arm and swings him into the ropes and hurdles his shoulder into the stomach area again. Both men are on the canvas and PI gets up first…

Monroe: “ Wow, this is completely unexpected. A non card match happening before our very eyes.”

*grimm gives PI a sharp boot to the face . PI swirls and shakes his head in disbelief. Grimmgets off the canvas. PI backs into the ropes with all his weight leaps into the air, and turns into a flying head butt straight into grimm’s forehead. Both men are on the canvas, and blood is already on the ring floor.

Monroe: “ Man, this is insane, both guys are already bleeding and we aren’t a minute in. Unbelievable.”

*Grimm slides around to PI’s back with blood in his eyes.He goes for a sleeper. Grimm vices PI’s neck and head..gripping it tighter and tighter. PI seems to be going hazy. The crowd roars insanely. PI appears to be getting a second breath of life. He drives his elbow back into Grimm’s stomach..twice..three times. Grimm’s hold is slipping…Four times…Grimm’s grip slips. It seems like Grimm just slid of the blood on PI’s face. Both men are on their feet.. Grimm lashes out with furious blows directed at Pi’s blood covered face..Blood is spraying all over the canvas.

Monroe: “ This is madness. Someone needs to stop this. I just can’t believe this.”

*PI takes grimm’s heavy blows and turns them into momentum he goes straight into the ropes and jumps onto the middle one propelling himself into a flying Pig on The Wing. Grimm goes down. PI stumbles to his feet and leg drops grimm. Grimm’s body convulses and he rolls over. PI wipes the blood from his eyes as he gets to his knees. Grimm sees PI’s back is turned and lunges for his ankle with all his energy . He has him in an ankle breaker. PI is writhing in pain..he is nowhere near the ropes now.

Monroe: “ This fight is furious…someone is going to get hurt here.”

*The crowd boos, Grimm is distracted for a second. PI gives a kick to grimm’s head. Grimm is grabbing his ear. PI is still rolling on the canvas trying to get up…

Monroe: “ Wait, what’s this? Yes, finally…”

several referees rush into the ring in an attempt to break up the fight. Pig Iron and Grimm toss them aside with ease and continue their brawl. PI whips Grimm into the ropes again and this time Grimm goes flying over the side. He lands on his feet and walks over the ring table and pulls James White out of his chair. He picks up the chair and tosses it at PI in the ring. PI ducks and goes after the chair, fighting with a referee for it.

Grimm slides back into the ring. He kicks PI in the gut and wrenches the chair from him. He smacks the chair across PI's head. PI is dazed and stumbles a bit, but signals for another shot.

Grimm cracks him over the head again and PI drops to his knees. PI signals for another blow and Grimm is about to oblige when several security officers storm into the ring and separate both wrestler. The guards cuff them and haul them out of the ring as the doctor is screaming on the rampway.

Doctor: "End this! End this now! I am not having interruptions like this!"

Grimm is being led backstage, smiling under the crimson mask, as is PI being carried behind.

Grimm: The violence will continue. You can't stop it. The MONSTER is awake!

PI: Typical corporate bullshit! Depriving the fans of what they want! WE WANT BLOOD! WE WANT BLOOD!

Several of the fans take up the chant as Grimm and PI are hauled backstage.

Monroe: BUHGAWB! The ring is a blood soaked mess! Fans, we'll be back after we get someone to clean this up.

After a three-minute commercial break with promos for the next episode of Havoc and for SummerScam,the camera fades to the Bond Brigade dressing room,where we see Ian Bond talking to Mario Barini.

MARIO: You wanted to see me?
IAN: I certainly did,old chum. I wanted you to be the first to hear that I am negotiating with the RDCW Board of Directors for you to make your official RDCW debut as a competitor on next week's episode of Havoc. Of course,there's the small matter of finding an oppo--

Chaos erupts in the Bond Brigade dressing room as the Killer bursts in,levels Ian Bond with a brutal clothesline,and starts mercilessly pummeling Mario Barini;he is about to set Mario up for an F5 when Chris Oakley,rushing to his teammates' defense,delivers a vicious chair shot on the Killer's back. Cheesedome security rushes into the dressing room to break up the melee;as the Killer is being hustled out,he starts taunting Chris in that electronically distorted voice of his.

KILLER: This is just a sneak preview,Oakley! One by one,I'm gonna destroy all your pissant little Bond Brigade buddies, and then I'll destroy--

Killer doesn't get any farther than that...Chris shuts him up by tossing a cupful of ice water in his face. The Killer,his mask now dripping wet,glares at his foe as Chris delivers a not-very-subtle threat.

CHRIS: Next time you stroll into the Bond Brigade locker room uninvited,asshole,I'm gonna take that stupid mask of yours and shove it down your throat. And that's not a threat....that's a GUARANTEE.

(Helps Ian Bond to his feet as the Killer is literally dragged kicking and screaming back to his own dressing room.)

*Havoc returns from commercial break as the ring is setup for Louie's Lounge. "Ecstasy of Gold" plays as Louie stands with a mic. Grace is behind the bar, polishing glasses. The crowd booes heavily as Louie begins to speak.

LB: I know, I know. You've all missed me. While Louie's Lounge has been gone, I've been bombarded with phone calls, emails, text messages, private messages, all sorts of requests from all sorts of people, asking me: When? When will Louie's Lounge return to Tuesday Night Havoc? Well, your wait is over. I didn't want to go on hiatus, but the fact of the matter of is, I've been far too busy lately to do this show.

But now that Wargasms is over, and Vanguard Atlantis: The Movieis finally going into production out in L. A. I can return to entertaining and enlightening you peons.

My guest this week, is a longtime opponent of the Family Business. He's to some people a legend in this industry. He's a multiple time champion. A former General Manager of RDCW, and a leader of one of the most powerful cliques in RDCW history. He's been a Hellion, he's been a Mystery Man, and lately, he's been hanging out on my turf in Hollywood. He is none other than. . .Nowhereman!

*Louie points to the ring entrance as Metallica's "Creeping Death" begins to play. After a few moments however, the song is replaced by. . .the sound of shattering glass,and what appears to be the song Glass Shatters by Disturbed! Nowhereman walks out wearing a bald wig & a false Van Dyke beard,a black waistcoat & cut down blue jeans!

James White,announces him as Stone Cold Steve Nostin!

Nostin hits the ring and goes to each corner post, giving the two finger salute, before walking over to Louie.

LB: Well, well, it's good to finally-

Nostin: What?

LB: I said it's goo-

Nostin: WHAT?!

LB: Are you gonna-

Nostin: WHAT?!!

LB: Listen, you-

Nostin: No, you listen, you piece of shite!

Nostin: You stand there,in your stupid little suit,with your stupid little tie,always flapping your gums about your stupid little family........sounds to my someones asking for an arse whupping!

LB: Hey....

Nostin: Shut up, you meely mouthed piece of shite

Nostin kicks Louie in the gut, hits the stunner,then locks in the Crippler Cuntface! Louie is on the mat, screaming in agony and tapping. El Superbeasto runs down to ringside, but Nostin hits him with a stunner as well! Nostin grabs a stool and cracks it over the Giant Luchadore's head for good measure! Grace begins to walk out from behind the bar, but Nostin gives her a look that makes her pause.

Glass Shatters cues up again as Nostin climbs a ringpost and is tossed a couple of beers. Nostin opens the beers and begins drinking them down!

Monroe: BUHGAWB! Nowhereman just laid out Louie and El Superbeasto!

MarcuM: You mean Stone Cold Steve Nostin, don't you?

Monroe: Whoever!

Marcum: Stone Cold Steve Nostin's attack on Louie Bastardo was uncalled for! Nostin should be fined! Suspended!! Euthanized!!!

Monroe: Careful, Marcum. He might hear you...

Marcum: Like I said, Stone Cold Steve Nostin's plan to draw out El Superbeasto was brilliant! He softened his opponent up, giving himself the physical AND psychological advantage!!!

Monroe: Which begs the question, how will Louie react to this attack? Will there be retribution? And who will be the one to...

Marcum: Waitaminnit, Monroe! I'm getting word that something's happening out in the parking lot!!!

Cut to the parking lot. A hunter green Hummer pulls in. It stops, the driver's side door swings open and Joe Mama walks out.

Monroe: Joe Mama has arrived at the CheeseDome! Fresh off his stunning win in the MOD Battle Royale! Fresh off his shocking Wargasms victory!

Marcum: And fresh off his turn from Louie Bastardo and the rest of Family Business!!!

Monroe: Great point, Marcum! Is he the Family Enforcer or the Family Traitor??? Has the Prodigal Son returned??? Joe Mama...NEXT!!!

Cut to commercial...

Havoc returns from commercial in time to hear "Faded" start. As Joe Mama steps out from the back, the crowd is a mix of cheers and boos. He walks down the ramp, Inter-Cunt-Inental Title on his shoulder. He stops in from of Marcum and Monroe and hold out a hand to get a microphone. After a moment of the announcers looking a bit stunned, Monroe hands one to him. Joe Mama looks at Marcum.

JM: Are you scared of me, Madman?

Marcum says nothing. The look on his face says it all. Marcum doesn't trust the former Family Enforcer and is terrified of what he'll do at the slightest provocation. Joe Mama gives him a half-smile, which doesn't seem to help, and then steps into the ring.

JM: You people wanna know why I did what I did? You wanna know what happened to make Wargasms go down the way it went down? Louie, do you want an explanation for why your "Crown Jewel" won't be facing PenWing at SummerScam?

Monroe: I'll admit it. I'm curious.

Madman: Yeah, dammit! I wanna know why you turned on your friends!!!

JM: Let's get one thing straight up front. None of those people - not a single member of the Family Business - is a friend of mine. That was always the difference between us and the other factions. We were never about friendship or personal feelings. We were - to a man (or a woman) - about the BUSINESS of winning titles! And we were damned successful at it! The Family - later the Family Business - was the most dominant collection of wrestlers that this promotion has ever seen! Every single member had his role. Every single member knew his place and what title was his to win. We understood that, we respected that. But don't any of you think that any of us are sending each other Christmas cards or going out for dinner! The closest person to me in the Family was Louie and maybe...MAYBE Sneaky Bunny! And the "romance" between us was largely made up by you people!!!

Monroe: Shocking words from the Champ!

JM: Now let me make something clear. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Feuds don't come from nowhere. Grudges aren't just spontaneously created. I didn't just wake up and decide that Wargasms was where I would leave the Family. Every single one of them contributed to my decision!

You see, I set a very high standard for myself. I don't get into this ring because it beats watching Cosby Show reruns at home. I'm here because I love my job, I'm ridiculously good at my job, and I win Titles. I expect the people I surround myself with to have the same love, intensity, and desire that I have. Or you don't run with me. And, in the last few months, I've come to realize that Family Business doesn't share my goals.

When Sneaky Bunny can't seem to make it to strategy sessions and chooses to pick useless fight that allow a nobody like Lor to get a title shot, there's a problem. When El Superbeasto, who's supposed to be the scourge of the Luchadors and any division we set him in, can't think past fucking the wife of an enemy instead of the titles he should be bringing home, there's a problem. Charlie, Howlerama, and Legbreakers - each of you has been nothing but a disappointment! Charlie and Howleramam can't be bothered to compete, and the Legbreakers - a team I focused on improving personally - can't seal the deal when they DO get a title shot! Did you people think I WANTED to get back into tag team action, much less have to defend two titles every week? The tag titles are Howlerama and the Legbreakers' gold to win! Johnny Evil's the only one with any consistency in his title reign, and he barely defends! Every single one of you, to a person, makes me sick.

But you're all just symptoms of the real cause. King Snarf - the only thing that has allowed you to sit in the same room as me (when you're actually around) is my loyalty to Louie Bastardo. I don't know where your head's been at since PenWing took your title and humiliated you, but it ain't in the wrestling business. You are late for Family meetings. You barely compete. You can't seem to find the time to do promos, making everyone else (particularly me and Louie) pick up the slack. I carried us during our tag team run and who cost us the titles in our three-way battle? Who was the guy who actually had them in his hands only to lose them to the most juvenile of ways? YOU, Snarf! Your complacency and stupidity lost the Family the Tag Team Donkey Lovin' Titles! And your attitude is affecting the rest of the Family!!!

Family Business has become fat, lazy, and complacent. Williams, you had the greatest potential weapon in your hands when you owned Darth, and you lost him to a pair of tits with a microphone! When the supposed leadership can't get their shit together, the faction is doomed to fall. Bastardos, let me make something clear. You have become the Roman Empire, and the barbarians are at the gate. The SDC wants your downfall. The Dark Lords want you destroyed. The Allied Powers have already wounded you. And there are plenty of other hungry wrestlers waiting to prove themselves at your expense. You people either shape the hell up, or you fall.

Out of loyalty to Louie and Grace, who I still believe have the ability to do great things with people of talent and desire, I didn't take each and every one of you out. I didn't rock any boats up until Wargasms. I made my worries clear to the leader of Family Business and let him deal with you people. But he's failed to get you in line, and I can't stand by and wait for the faction that I bled and sweated for to come apart because of their own laziness and stupidity. I never concocted a "traitor" in the Family's midst, but know this: every one of you has betrayed the Family Business. Every one of you is a traitor. You are all failures, whether you hold a title or not.

So, in case you haven't understood what I'm saying: I QUIT FAMILY BUSINESS!!! Rot in hell, losers!

"Faded" plays again. The crowd is mostly cheering, though there are still plenty of people booing. Joe Mama takes a moment to flip off the camera while mouthing the words "Family Business". Then he exits the ring and heads out through the crowd.

Monroe: Strong words from Joe Mama. What will the Family's reaction be?

Marcum: I know what they'll do! They'll hunt him down and tear him apart! You don't just leave the Family! Joe Mama just signed his death warrant!!!

Monroe: I think he heard you, Marcum! I think he's heading back!

Marcum: That's because he knows he's right and I know he's right! The Family Business has done nothing for itself for months! The Roman Empire...great analogy Champ!!!

Monroe: You're a brave man, Marcum...

Marcum: Is he gone?

Backstage Fat Retard hs found Stone Cold Steve Nostin.

FR: "Buhgawd Nowhereman,whuts with the new image & are you worried about repercussions from attacking Louie?"

NM: "What?"

FR: "I said....."

NM: "I know what you said you meely mouthed punk. You called me Nowhereman........I am Stone Cold Steve Nostin,and dont you forget that!"

FR: "Ok,Stone C..."

NM: "Stop flapping yer gums you fat sack of shite,and listen to me. Stone Cold Steve Nostin fears no man,so dont go talking about shit you cant even begin to understand. Just look at the Family anyway,they cant even sort themselves out,let alone sort out their enemies. You stand there in your stupid little hat,with your stupid bottle of toxic BBQ sauce,flapping your gums.......sounds to me like yer asking for an arse whupping!"

FR: "No,I was jus..."

NM: "Shut up!"

FR: ".."

NM: "Thats better. Now,onto the rest of the RDCW. I got a few things to say. Firstly,Joe Mambo.....fuck you! PenWimp.....fuck you! Captain Sambitch......fuck you! Chris Jokely.......fuck you! In case any of you idiots didnt get that........FUCK YOU ALL!"

FR: "Buggawd.......DROP TOE HOLD.......thats a bit harsh!"

NM: "Thats a bit harsh? If you think thats harsh...."

*Nostin hits FR with a stunner*

NM: "And thats the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so!"

Highway to Hell plays, and Charlie hits the ring, looking furious. Grabbing a mic, he enters the ring

Monroe: Charlie's looking mighty pissed off!

Marcum: It's gotta be because of Joe Mama earlier!

Charlie: I've got three words to say: FUCK YOU JOE!

The crowd boos wholeheartedly, mostly becuase they hate Charlie

Charlie: You DARE to call me a dissapointment?! Who's the guys who's spent weeks, and I mean weeks, kicking Fagtastic's big gay ass all over the cheese-dome, huh? ME!

More boos

Charlie: And you know what? I'm tired of whupping his ass! So, I'm gonna start me on a target, Joe! Got a problem, and the problem is YOU!

Marcum: Joe Mama's in real trouble now! You don't mess with The Company Pitbull!

Charlie: I'm issuing a challenge to you, Joe Mama. Step into this ring, if you dare, against me. And I ain't just talking about some wussy little singles match! I'm talking an all out, no DQ, No Quit, NO Surrender Harcore Porn Match!

Monroe: Is Charlie completely insane? This could end his career!

Marcum: End Joe Mama's more like!

Charlie: And if you really, really wnat to make this tough on yourself, let's take away these ropes and replace them...with barbed wire!

Monroe: Buhgawd! We haven't seen barbed wire rings since Evil Cunt Wrestling!

Marcum: I think it's fair to say that Charlie was a big fan!

Charlie: Hey Papa Joe, you wanna make like the big man, you gotta walk the Pitbull line!

Highway to Hell hits, and Charlie walks backstage, still looking angry

The words 'SD Rockers' appear on the Cheese-O-Tron, as Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting plays. However, the words SD are suddenly replaced by the Phrase 'TUESDAY NIGHT' and, as Rock and Roll Music hits the speakers, The newly named Tuesday Night Rockers hit the cheesedome. The crowd cheers enthusiastically as James Fantastic makes the intro

James Fantastic: Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of All Ages, put your hands together for a new sensation that is rocking gthe nation, coming soon to a Cheese-Dome near you, THE TUESDAY NIGHT ROCKERS!

The crowd goes wild, and the trio run down to the ring. Even when they get into the ring the cheering continues, and it's a while before James Fantastic can speak

James Fantastic: That's right! As of last night, The Tuesday Night Rokcers are no longer part of the Sudden Death Connection. Also departing from the group is blah blah blah, let;s just cut all the legal sounding crap and get to the good stuff, huh?

the crowd cheer, and Tommy Savitz takes the mic

Tommy Savitz: Yo, Penwing! You mst be wondering 'What went wrong? Why'd they go?' I'll tell you.

Marcum: 'Cos they gave up! Even without Joe, there's nobody that can stop the Family Business!

Tommy Savitz: Like Fantastic said last night, we get that you wanted to save Sammitch's career, but every man in this company has out his career on the line more than once! What makes Sammitch so special?

James Fantastic: And that's not all! The fact is, you care more abbout keeping you and your friends uninjured than you do about putting on a god-damn show! If it's a choice between being injured or seeing to it that these people get their moneys worth, then roll on the stretcher!

the crowd goes wild for Fantastic

James Fantastic: Damn right! If it meant getting a pop outta these guys, I'd hurl myself through plate glass and onto a bed of nails! The Company Pitbull might like to talk hardcore, but if he really wants to prove that he's as badass as he says, why not add something a little extra to our match tonight! That's right, let's make it ECW Rulez!

Monroe: ECW Rulez? That's no rules at all!

Marcum: The Company Pitbull's gonna run riot tonight!

Tommy Savitz: You can bring along your buddies Howlerama, you can bring along Bill Williams, hell, you can bring along every god-damn member of The Family Business, but it ain't gonna matter when The Surgeon steps into that ring, cos brother, the crowd joins in I'm that DAMN Good!

Rock and Roll music hits, and the Tuesday Night Rockers head for the back.

*The camera fades in from commercial to see JLA and Captain Howdy standing in the middle of the ring wearing their titles. The ring has a table sitting in the center. The two stand impatiently in the center.*



Monroe: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. During the break JLA and Captain Howdy entered the ring. Shortly after, RDCW staff placed that table in front of them.



Marcum: What the hell is going on?



Monroe: I don't know. It's not on my rundown for tonight's show.



Generals gathered in their masses

Just like witches at black masses

Evil minds that plot destruction

Sorcerers of death’s construction



Monroe: It's the Doctor.



Marcum: He's such a scene stealer.



*The Doctor makes his way to the ring. One of the RDCW lawyers is following him with a brief case in his hand. They enter the ring, and the lawyer fishes a stack of papers from the case and hands them to the Doctor. The Doctor then lays them on the table and hands a pen to Howdy, who signs them in several places.*



Monroe: What in the Sam Hell is going on?



*JLA then takes the pen and signs also. The Doctor catches his wrist before the DCMB champ can pocket the pen. The Doctor then calls for a mic.*



Just now, RDCW faithful, we just finished all the necessary paperwork to bring you tonight's main event. The Allied Powers will face The Unholy Alliance for the RDCW Donkey Lovin' Tag Team Championship Belts. As exciting as all that is, none of you even know who the Unholy Alliance is.



Monroe: We sure as hell don't!



Well, I'll tell you; and you'll understand why they are called The Unholy Alliance. JLA's and Howdy's competition tonight are none other than Joe Mama and Penwing.



Marcum: Holy Hell!



Not only that, at JLA's insistence I've added the stipulation that if either one of them is pinned tonight, he'll lose his title to the man who does it.



Monroe: Buhgawd!



*JLA is grinning real hard.*



But, in order to get the Unholy Alliance to sign on for this match, I had to add another speculation.



*JLA stops grinning. The audience can see him ask 'What?'*



Joe and Pen made very good arguments that if they have to put aside their differences and put their belts on the line, then it's only fair for Howdy and JLA to do the same. Now, that's a damn good argument. One that I could not possible deny. So, for that reason, I had the RDCW law team add that stipulation to the contract that JLA and Howdy just signed. And don't worry, JLA, about anyone backing out of the match now. I made sure to get PenWing's and Joe Mama's signatures before we came out here. So no matter what, someone's losing a title tonight.



*War Pigs blares over the speakers and the Doctor leaves the ring and heads up the ramp to the back.*

*Chesty Lerou, sporting a very sexy black leather ensemble, is standing backstage.*

Chesty: Tonight, on this very special Wednesday night edition of Havoc, the surprises keep coming! First, we learned the SDC has splintered, with the SD Rockers becoming the Tuesday Night Rockers! Then, Joe Mama entered the ring to lay the blame of his quitting the Family on every single one of their members. And finally, the Doctor himslef came out to announce the main event for tonight! The Unholy Alliance is none other than the Inter-Cunt-Inental Champion, Joe Mama, and the man standing next to me this evening, the Heavyweight Cheese Champion, PenWing!

*There is a mix of cheers and booes from the crowd as the camera pans out to show PenWing standing next to Chesty.*

Chesty: Ooh, rough crowd! PenWing, it looks like your task at hand is a lot more difficult than you might have thought. Not only have most of the wrestlers in the back lost their trust in the SDC, (and believe me, I can speak personally on that) but you may have also lost the fans' support when you quit the WarGasms match last week! Add to all that presure the stipulations of your match tonight, and I think you'll understand why people are beginning to wonder if you can cut it anymore.

PenWing: Somewhere in there I think there was a question. I think the question was, PenWing, do you really have what it takes to face Joe Mama at SummerScam and successfully defend your title against a man who will do anything and everything necessary to get the job done? Chesty, was that the question you were going for?

Chesty: Well, if you want to cut right too it, yeah. Do you have what it takes to be the man?

*PenWing smiles.*

PenWing: I never lost it. All this talk of me being soft. All this doubt about me being trustworthy. All this talk about me being respectable. This is the same trash Joe Mama has been spewing about me since he first joined the Family. Do you remember when that was? Do you remember the conversation Joe and I had in the hall after I returned? Do you remember the question I asked Joe that night?

*Chesty shakes her head.*

PenWing: Well, I do. And the fans do. I asked Joe a very simple question: What will you do when you leave the Family or they kick you out? Well, the family didn't turn on Joe Mama. No. Joe Mama turned on the Family. Joe Mama got bored, so he decided to shake things up a bit, start some new fights. Maybe rekindle some old alliances. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Joe does what Joe does.

I, on the other hand, am as predictable as your favorite novel. I follow a set of rules. I believe in friendship, loyalty, and trust. My friendship with Sammitch and Meeko are what took me to the top. My loyalty to the fans is what gives me the strength to go out there and give that extra little something that separates the King Snarf's from the Joe Mama's. And my trust, has been severely misplaced.

Like Meeko, I trusted the Tuesday Night Rockers. We all thought we were on the same page. We all thought we wanted the same thing: to uphold the integrity of the RDCW and give the fans the best show possible night in and night out. But, after WarGasms, the trio barged into the locker room while we were preparing to treat Sammitch, and told me that I should have let Joe destroy Sammitch's career so that we could have taken one match from the Family Business.

Let me repeat that for you, Chesty. James Fantastic, Tommy Savitz, and Two-Ton Tommy decided that winning ONE match was worth the cost of losing ONE friend.

*PenWing pauses for a moment.*

PenWing: Chesty, was there anything on the line in that match?

Chesty: Just your pride.

*PenWing smiles at her.*

PenWing: It seems that way, doesn't it? It wasn't Nowhereman who quit. It wasn't Grimm. It wasn't your boyfriend. And as for Sammitch, he never would have asked me to do what I did. It was MY decision. It was MY pride. And I say screw pride. This isn't about pride. This title isn't about pride. It's about performance. My record in singles and tag compition speaks for itself. I bring everything I have into that ring, and I leave everything I brought in that ring! I put it all on the line, all the time! Half of my matches have been hardcore!

There's an old saying: what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger! Believe me, when Sammitch comes back, he'll be a hell of a lot stronger! And the SDC, even if remains just the three of us, will be a hell of a lot stronger because of that!

Sacrificing one member for the sake of a minor vitory, that's not what the fans want. That's not what the fans ask for. That's not the SDC way. That's the Bastardo way! And Tommy Savitz, you should really think about that, now that you've turned your back on people who could have been true friends in favor of people who specialize in stabbing their teammates in the back!

Chesty: But what about your match tonight? If you get pinned, you'll lose your title!

PenWing: And if Joe gets pinned he loses his title. And if either JLA or Howdy get pinned, they lose the tag titles and the individual title. Howdy, I used to hold the title you now wear around your waist. I used to be the Hardcore Porn Champion. Don't think I've forgotten what it takes to preform at that level. I've surpassed it. I didn't ask for this match, and neither did Joe. And to be frank, I don't know that I even trust Joe. He wants this belt (taps the Big Cheese Belt). He wants to be the man. He wants to have the target on his back. However, I don't think he wants to win this title from Mister Kick You In The Nuts When The Ref Isn't Looking JLA. I have no doubt that Joe Mama will show up tonight with his very best. Because Joe Mama cares about one thing, and that's what's best for Joe Mama.

Chesty: But what happens if you win?

PenWing: Then Joe and I become the new World Tag Team Champions.

Chesty: Is that what you want? How can the fans be sure that you'll show up to this match? How can the fans be sure that you won't cause Joe to lose his title? How do we know that you aren't out for revenge?

PenWing: Chesty, why would I betray the fans tonight for some cheap revenge when I'm facing Joe at SummerScam? And before you repeat that I could lose the Big Cheese Belt, let me make it very clear that I will not be the one to get pinned tonight. My plan, right now, is to step into that ring, lay all differences with Joe Mama aside, and take away the World Tag Titles from the Allied Kick Everyone In The Nuts Powers. That's the way I play the game.

Like I told Meeko, while the teams may have changed, the rules will always stay the same. Because, anytime, anywhere, (the entire crowd of the Cheesedome joins in) SUDDEN DEATH RULES!

*Havoc goes to break.*

After a commercial for "SummerScam", Madman Marcum is seen standing outside the Allied Powers locker room. He appears to be very nervous...

Marcum: Oh boy, oh boy! Another interview with the champs!

Marcum knocks on the door, and Jeeves, the loyal butler to the Powers, opens the door, and waves Marcum in.

Marcum: Gentlemen! I hope you received the gift baskets I sent you, honoring your accomplishments at WarGasms!

JLA: We did, Marcum. Thank you for being so thoughtful.

Marcum: Well champs, tonight you have the opportunity of a lifetime: you will defend the World Tag Titles against IC Champ Joe Mama, and his nemesis Big Cheese Champion PenWing! These two sworn enemies truly are an "Unholy Alliance"! If one of your opponents gets pinned or submits, they lose their title to whoever defeats them! If you or Howdy gets pinned or sub...

Both JLA and Howdy get in Marcum's face.

Marcum:...not that it is going to happen, but...if by some act of God, if one of you were to pin or tap out, you'd not only lose your individual title, but the tag titles would go to the Alliance!

JLA: Yes, Howdy and I are well aware of the risks involved...which are none. Let me say this again: We. Cannot. Be. Defeated!

We are the greatest tag team of all-time! It wasn't too long ago, that we defeated the teams of Joe Mama/King Snarf, AND Penwing with his ally Captain Sammitch, to create these magnificent titles!

Now these fierce rivals, who will compete for the Big Cheese Title soon, are putting their differences aside and trying to topple us.

Do you know why that is, Madman?

Marcum: Because you and Howdy attacked them after their intergender match?

Howdy Wrong answer, wanker!

Marcum starts to stutter nervously.

Marcum: Thhh...That....that's...what Monroe told me to say!

JLA and Howdy look at each other, then at Marcum, and shake their heads.

JLA: No. This isn't about revenge for beating them down after the intergender match. This is about our Tag Titles. We have taken tag team wrestling to new heights, and these belts are the most prestigious belts in the RDCW.

That's why the holders of the supposed top two individual titles have joined forces. They know that for all of their singular glory, the highlight of their careers would be defeating us and taking our gold.

Everyone has already forgotten about the title reigns of Joe Mama/King Snarf, and PenWing/Captain Sammitch. They know this, so they want to team up and be the first ones to defeat us. They want their place in RDCW history.

So they went to thedoctor, and begged...*begged* him for the
title match. As the Champions, we had the right to refuse their request. But after careful consideration, we agreed: if only they'd be willing to put something on the line as well:
something to make tonight's main event more interesting:
their precious singles titles.

I already have the only true World Title: the DCMB hampionship. Howdy already has the title of the division that he is a legend in: The Hardcore Porn Championship. Taking either the IC or Big Cheese Belt is icing on an already big cake.

Marcum: Do you think Joe and PenWing will be able to put their animosity for each other aside, and work as a team?

JLA: Of course. One thing overrides their hatred of each other: their desire to get our Tag Team Championships. I fully expect them to watch each other's backs, and to give their best collective effort. It won't matter.

Both of them can talk about hating Howdy and I, but this all about them wanting to be where we are...but they're not taking our belts, or our place in tag team wrestling.

Marcum: I never did get your comments about WarGasms, or...

JLA: And you're not going to. Not this week. Next week, Captain Howdy is hosting a special, one time event: The Captain's Corner! I will be his guest. The Captain's Corner will make "Louie's Lounge" look like a joke. Howdy is going to interview me, and I am going to sound off on everything from the Elimination Chamber, to harley getting dropped by me like a hot potato, to Chesty, to just about everything.

Watch for it!

*We come back from commercial to a shot of Marcum and Monroe at the announce table*

Marcum: I'm sure a lot of you are wondering where Johnny Evil is tonight.

Monroe: What do you mean? We go weeks at a time without seeign that weirdo.

Marcum: Do you mind? I'm trying to do an intro here.

Monroe: Fine, fine. Don't let me stop you.

Marcum: As I was bout to say, Johnny Evil...

Monroe: I mean, how long has it been since he's actually said anything? He's been in matches, sure. He's won title matches. Doesn't it seem strange that he hasn't even been making a big deal about his title wins?

Marcum: Are you done?

Monroe: Yeah.

Marcum: OK, then...

Monroe: Sure he's supposed to be a little on the crazy side, but not saying anything? At all? It's just very out of character...

Marcum: SHUT UP! Geez! Can we just get to the stinking video? God!

Monroe: I'm sorry, I just think...

Marcum: WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! We're never goign to get to the video if you don't shut up! Yes! IT'S STRANGE! OK? COME ON!

Monroe: Well, if you feel that way. I'm sorry. Do your little intro.

Marcum: In celebration of Johnny Evil's latest win, he and Ariel decided to get married! We have a video of the highlights of their lavish Las Vegas ceremony!

Monroe: That non-posting dink...

*Marcum glares at Monroe as we cut to the video.*

Marcum (voice over): Here you can see some of the guests at this special occasion. Including yours truely.

Monroe: I wasn't invited.

Marcum: I wonder why...

*The video shows a large crowd of people gathered, including members of Family Business.*

Monroe: It wasn't just Johnny Evil's business partners, or their familys there. There was also many of the biggest names in Las Vegas!

*The video shows a heavily bandaged, unrecognizable man.*

Looks like he's still recovering from the tiger attack...

*Two Blue Men*

It was a last minute decision, so one of them had a prior engagement...

*A freaky looking French Canadian Mime in a giant wheel, a man dressed up as Bette Middler, an unbelievable tall and fat man dressed up as Elvis, a couple pirates, a Roman Emperor and...*

Monroe: Is that Wayne Newton?

Marcum: Yeah, sadly the Wayne Newton impersonator couldn't make it and they had to settle for him.

*Johnny Evil is then shown standing by the altar with a Klingon.*

Monroe: A Star Trek ceremony, how classy...

Marcum: You're really bitchy today, y'know that?

*Ariel enters, looking great in her dress.*

Monroe (laughing): A white dress! Man, that's good!

Marcum: Quiet, this is the best part...

*Suddenly, Spandex Monkey Man enters!*

Spamm: I cannot let such an evil union take place!

*Spamm charges them but he's hit by a chair! The camera pulls back to show that it was swung by the enormous Elvis!*

Johnny Evil (talkign to Ariel): I was going to tell you later, but our present from Family Business is a bodyguard to watch you during my matches. Ariel, I'd like you to meet Big Fat Elvis

Ariel: Very nice to meet you.

Big Fat Elvis: The pleasure is all mine, mama. Does anyone have a cheeseburger?

Johnny Evil: In a minute. First, take out the trash...

*BFE picks up Spamm and carries him out.*

*We cut back to Monroe and Marcum.*

Marcum: The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch! Johnny Evil and Ariel are now on an all expences paid trip to Walt Disney World, thanKs to Johnny Evil's good friend Michael Eisner.

Monroe: Friends with Michael Eisner! Are there no evil depths he won't sink to? This whole bodyguard thing is just a sham! as if it isn't distracting enought that he has Ariel at ringside AND he has the unfair advantage of being backed up by Family Business, Johnny Evil is going to have a huge guy in an Elvis costume acting as Ariel's "bodyguard". He's just going to interfere in matches!

Marcum (in a "dumb guy" voice: Huh? Y'think so?

Monroe (angry): We'll be right back...

*cut to commercial*

Hardcore Rules Title Match: Captain Howdy versus Balls Nasty

This match was over almost before it began. Balls Nasty had barely made it to the ring when Captain Howdy came seemingly from nowhere and hit him with a fire extinguisher. After a few shots with the foreign object, Captain Howdy blasted the contents into his opponent’s face – blinding him – and then used his favorite weapons to batter Balls Nasty into unconsciousness to get the pin and retain his Hardcore Porn Title.


6 Man Tag: Charlie and Howlerama versus The Tuesday Night Rockers

After a long, hard fought match, Charlie thought he had the win with a Tower of London on James Fantastic, but the ref was correct to point out that James was not the legal man. That's when the legal man, Two-Ton Tommy, finally reentered the ring after he and Tommy Savitz subdued Howlerama. Tow-Ton Tommy grabbed Charlie in a bear hug and Tommy Savitz hit the devastating clothesline for the Tuesday Night Spectacular. Two-Ton Tommy then covered Charlie for the pin.


Table Match: El Superbeasto versus Nowhereman

It wasn't pretty, but being the ugly cunt he is, no one expected Stone Cold Steve Nostin's win to be a work of art. El Superbeasto had already set up a table outside the ring when Nostin came out. The two brawled in the ring and it looked like the giant Luchador was about to win with a choke slam. Somehow, Nostin managed to free himself with an in-air Cunt Fu Kick. A Fucking Cuntline later, and it was El Superbeasto breaking the table. As Broken Glass started playing, Nostin walked up to El Superbeasto and gave him a stunner just for good measure before walking to the back.


Cage Match: Dark Lords versus Punch/Counterpunch

In the starting minutes, this match was an evenly matched brawl. However, the Dark Lords were able to take control, whipping the brothers into each other in the middle of the ring. Grimm made a motion with his hands, and then picked up Bibbo. Darth picked up I-Man. Together, the Dark Lords threw the brothers into the steel cage. They followed that up with monstrous spears, causing that side of the cage to break away and fall to the ground. With Punch/Counterpunch laid out on top of the fallen cage wall, the Dark Lords were able to walk over them and onto the ramp. The bell rang, declaring them the winners, but the Dark Lords just kept walking apathetically as Chesty Lerou escorted them to the back.


Fatal Four-Way for the RDLL Tag Team Titles

As the bell sounded, Los Vatos de Fuego went after Homeland Security to avenge wrongs committed at the RDLL show. This battle spilled out of the ring and up the ramp, allowing the Legbreakers to seize their moment and blindside Los Monstros Azules. By utilizing Stupid Doog’s brawling and Winged Creature’s high-flying maneuvers simultaneously, the Legbreakers were able to secure the advantage, Take Out The Trash, and gain the match victory over Los Monstros Azules. After the bell sounded the Legbreakers turned their attention on their remaining opponents and sent a clear message of intent to the Allied Powers.

RDCW World Tag Team Championships: Tag Champion Allied Powers - MisterJLA (DCMB Champion) and Captain Howdy (Hardcore Porn Champion) versus The Unholy Alliance - (Inter-Cunt-Inental Champion) Joe Mama and (World Heavyweight Cheese Champion) PenWing



Special stipulation: Whichever individual champion is pinned or submits loses their title to the man who does it!

“Faded” plays, as Joe Mama walks out with the IC Title strapped around his waist. He quickly takes the ring, climbs to the second turnbuckle, and points toward the crowd. He looks happy and confident, but his smile disappears when he sees the Allied Powers rushing through the crowd! They hit the ring, and begin to beat Joe down!

Monroe: Where the Hell is PenWing? Why isn’t he here?

Marcum: They must have both wanted their own ring entrance! They should have made their way to ringside as a team, but their precious egos must have been too big for that!

The Powers continue to stomp away at Joe, until “We Will Rock You” is finally played. A visibly distraught PenWing rushes straight to the ring, and jumps the Powers. He clears the ring, and JLA and Howdy decide to regroup on the floor.

Joe Mama: Where the FUCK were you? They did a number on me!

PenWing: How was I supposed to know? I was waiting for my intro to start!

Lothar finally calls for the bell, and orders the Powers to send a man in. Howdy reluctantly climbs through the ropes, and PenWing tells Joe to take a breather.


Monroe: What a match up to officially start us off! The brawling, brutal hardcore style of the Hardcore Porn Champion Captain Howdy, versus the fast paced style of World Heavyweight Cheese Champion PenWing!

Marcum: The Cheese Title would look great on The Captain!

The two lock up, and PenWing throws Howdy to the mat with an arm drag. A frustrated Captain Howdy rushes toward PenWing, only to get hit with another arm drag. PenWing then shoots himself off the ropes, and crashes down on Howdy’s head with a knee drop.

Howdy makes an attempt at getting to his feet, but PenWing again rockets himself off the ropes, and lands an impressive clothesline!

Monroe: He’s using the ropes to increase his speed!

Marcum: No kidding!

Again PenWing sends himself to the ropes, and tries a cross body block, but Howdy catches him, and slams PenWing’s back across his knee.

Marcum: Nice backbreaker!

With Howdy now in command, he lets loose with vicious punches and kicks that catch the Cheese Champion in the head.

Monroe: Is Joe Mama…smiling?

Marcum: I know I am!

Picking up his opponent by the hair, Howdy then Irish whips his enemy in to a neutral corner. He follows him in to continue to do damage, but realizing he his trapped, PenWing pops Howdy in the jaw with an elbow.

With the tide turned again, PenWing holds the Captain in a headlock, and walks him toward the Unholy Alliance corner. He extends his hand to Joe.

Monroe: Why isn’t Joe making the tag?

Marcum: I think he’s still pissed at PenWing for not being there when he got beat down during the ring intros!

Joe finally makes the tag, and kicks Howdy in the gut. As he leaves the ring, PenWing shoots his partner a disgusted look.

Monroe: They obviously don’t like, nor trust each other!

After shooting PenWing a dirty look back, Joe turns his attention to Howdy. He Irish whips him to the ropes, catches him off the rebound, and traps him in a sleeper.

Monroe: He wants to put him to sleep!

Marcum: That’s a very non-hardcore way to try to win the Hardcore title!

Howdy struggles to fight out of the hold, but as he slips into unconsciousness, he waves in MisterJLA. JLA rushes at Joe…and right into an Enforcer, Joe Mama’s spine buster!

Monroe: Joe broke the sleeper, and caught JLA as he tried to interfere!

Marcum: But he forgot about Howdy!

Captain Howdy waits for Joe to turn and face him, and as he does, he is greeted with a kick to the stomach, and then a DDT. Lothar rolls JLA out of the ring.

Marcum: PenWing should have neutralized JLA! Joe Mama can’t do it all!

Howdy waits for JLA to recover outside the ring, then drags a stunned Joe to the Allied corner. JLA is tagged in, and he takes the apron, Howdy makes a gesture toward JLA.

MisterJLA then nervously picks up Joe Mama, fires him to the ropes, and completes a very sloppy…

Monroe: DROP TOE HOLD! DROP TOE HOLD! DROP TOE HOLD!

Marcum: A wrestling move from MisterJLA??? I thought he only knew how to kick people in the balls, swing chairs, and Irish whip people? He doesn’t know how to wrestle!

Monroe: DROP TOE HOLD! DROP TOE HOLD! DROP TOE HOLD! His first wrestling move ever!

Everyone in the Cheesedome is stunned, none more than MisterJLA. He looks over at Howdy, and yells, “I did it! I did a wrestling move!”

In his excitement, he doesn’t see Joe dive toward The Alliance corner, and tag in PenWing.

PenWing immediately hits MisterJLA with…a spear!

Monroe: That’s one of this trademark moves! JLA’s had it!

PenWing goes for the cover, but Howdy breaks it at two. Joe never does try to stop the save attempt.

An annoyed PenWing then tries to suplex JLA, but JLA slips out of it, and picks up PenWing. He stumbles around a bit, and then dumps PenWing on the canvas.

Monroe: BODY SLAM! BODY SLAM! BODY SLAM!

Marcum: Will you stop?!?

JLA then points at Joe Mama, then stands over PenWing’s legs. He picks up his legs, crosses them, and then looks confused. He mutters to himself:

JLA: He legs goes here, and then my left arm is there. Then I…no wait. I have to lock his legs, but where does my knee go again…?

Monroe: He’s trying to put him in a Joe Mama-Lock: His modified Texas Cloverleaf!

Marcum: He forgot how to do it!

As time drags on, PenWing sits up, and punches JLA in the head several times. He makes the quick tag to Joe Mama.

Mama enters the ring, but it met with…a thumb to the eye.

Marcum: That’s NOT a wrestling move so don’t even start!

JLA then reels off a series of botched moves: sloppy body slams, a gut buster in which Joe doesn’t even land on JLA’s knee, and a suplex that sends Joe Mama not to the mat, but into Lothar, the referee.

Howdy: PERFECT!

Seeing that the ref is down, The Hardcore Legend Captain Howdy grabs a chair out from under Ring Announcer James White, and slides it into the ring. Rather than retrieve the chair, PenWing attacks Howdy outside the ring, and they clash near the timekeeper’s table.

Seeing the chair, JLA smiles and grabs it. As Joe Mama tries in vain to wake Lothar, JLA brings the chair down across Joe’s back. He then lays the chair in the middle of the ring, and pulls Joe toward it.

He then sends Joe’s head into the chair, with a piledriver.

Monroe: Oh my! A vicious piledriver onto the chair!

Marcum: Not a piledriver, but “The Night Cap!” That’s one of Howdy’s trademark moves, and he must have taught MisterJLA how to use it!

JLA throws the chair out of the ring, and again tries to apply the Joe Mama-Lock.

JLA: You’re going to tap out to your own submission move! Just as soon as I remember how to do it…

Joe kicks JLA in the jaw, sending him to the mat. He then applies the Joe Mama-Lock!

Joe Mama: THIS is how you do it, fool!



After a few seconds, JLA begins to tap wildly.

Monroe: He’s tapping out! This match should be over, with the DCMB Championship going to Joe Mama, and The World Tag Team Belts going to the Unholy Alliance!

Marcum: But Lothar’s out, as usual!

Monroe: He’s very fragile!

As PenWing and Captain Howdy continue to battle on the CheeseDome floor, and Joe continues to hold JLA in the Joe Mama-Lock, the crowd notices someone standing at the Cheesedome ramp.

Monroe: It’s Charlie, Joe’s newest enemy, now that Joe left the Family!

Joe sees Charlie standing on the ramp, too. He releases JLA from the hold, and motions for Charlie to fight him.

Monroe: He wants to fight Charlie right here and now!

Marcum: I seriously doubt that!

Charlie tries for a “run-in”, but Joe stomps away at him as he slides underneath the ring ropes. Charlie rolls out of the ring, and Joe holds his own arms up in triumph. Charlie stands by the ring, screaming, "Next week, you traitor! Next week, it's you and me!!!" Joe Mama nods, and tells him, "I've got the match all picked out, Company Bitch!"

MisterJLA picks himself off the mat, and waits for Joe to turn around. As Joe does, MisterJLA delivers a brutal kick to the balls, better known as “The Final Justice”.



Monroe: That’s got be it!

Joe Mama is doubled over in pain, but before he falls to the mat, his enemy grabs by the throat. JLA then completes a move, and goes for the cover.

Monroe: He just hit Joe with a…a…what was that?

Marcum: A side slam while holding his neck? No! It was a “Howdyslam”, also known as a Chokeslam! I think!

Monroe: That was the worst looking chokeslam I ever saw!

Marcum: But it may be enough! That along with the chair shot, the piledriver on the chair, and the “Final Justice”!

Lothar just happens to wake up. He sees Captain Howdy and PenWing fighting outside the ring, along with Charlie who is still on the floor. Lothar shrugs his shoulders, and makes the count.

1…2…3

Marcum: The Allied Powers have just retained the World Tag Team Championships!

Monroe: As if that’s not bad enough, look at this spectacle!

MisterJLA rips the IC Belt out of James White’s hands, fastens it across his waist, and begins to jump all over the ring, while yelling "YIPPEE!"

Monroe: Please tell me that’s not our new IC Champion.

Marcum: Oh, but it is!

Camera fades to black…