|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374
300+ posts
|
OP
300+ posts
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374 |
Nowhereman (C) (52%, 34 Votes)
|
Balls Nasty (48%, 31 Votes)
|
Tommy Savitz (41%, 26 Votes)
|
Grimm (59%, 38 Votes)
|
Tuesday Night Rockers (45%, 30 Votes)
|
Allied Powers (C) (55%, 37 Votes)
|
Princess Elissa (51%, 36 Votes)
|
Lor (C) (49%, 34 Votes)
|
Darth (32%, 22 Votes)
|
Chris Oakley (31%, 21 Votes)
|
El Superbeasto (C) (37%, 25 Votes)
|
PenWing (40%, 26 Votes)
|
Charlie (60%, 39 Votes)
|
Joe Mama (C) (61%, 42 Votes)
|
Capt. Sammitch (39%, 27 Votes)
|
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 215
200+ posts
|
|
200+ posts
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 215 |
Smells like Teen Spirit plays, and Charlie makes his way to the ring. The crowd boos loudly, but Charlei ignores them and enters the ring. He is handed a mic and speaks
Charlie: Well, this is looking better and better! Two weeks ago I retired King Snarf!
Mixed cheers and boos, with a few more cheers and boos
Monroe: The fans don't appear to like Snarf!
Charlie: Then I took on Jimmy Faboo's sidekick and beat the living daylights out of him, and this week the next man on The Pitbull line is the former RDCW champion Pindick!
The crowd erupts in angry boos, and trash is thrown at the ring. Charlie laughs, plainly amused by the crowd's reaction
Charlie: Oooh, I'm scared. The fact is, Penwing's never been anything but a JOKE! He won his belt from King Snarf, who's already been put down, and promptly lost it to Joe Mama!
The crowd's really up in arms, furious at Charlie's insults
Charlie: Tonight, Sudden Death dies! Tonight, it will have it's still beating heart ripped from it's body and burnt in the fire of The Pitbull Line! Tonight, Penwing's career comes to an end! Tonight, The Bastardo's are taking back RDCW!
The crowd rises to it's feet in anger, yelling at charlie
Charlie: And do you know what the first thing I'm gonna do after I beat Penwing into the hospital? I'm gonna personally burn this shitty little town to the ground!
The crowd starts to riot, and security flood the arena in an attempt to keep order. A big bunch of guards arrive to escort Charlie backstage, but he resists and lays into them, leaving them lying in the ring as he heads backstage.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 855
500+ posts
|
|
500+ posts
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 855 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,000
5000+ posts
|
|
5000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,000 |
*When Charlie gets halfway up the ramp, the Cheesedome starts to shake as the stomping beat of "We Will Rock You" blasts over the speakers. The fans roar and sing along as the Cheese-o-tron comes to life showing clips of PenWing's Hardcore Porn, Donkey Lovin' Tag, and Big Cheese title match victories.*
Buddy you're a boy make a big noise
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your can all over the place
Singin'
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
Everybody
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
Alright
*As the instrumental end to the song kicks in, PenWing walks onto the stage holding his Sherwood high. He stands there as the fans chant his name, and slowly holds up a mic to his lips.*
I promptly lost the Big Cheese Title to Joe Mama? Charlie, the only one here who's promptly lost anything, is you. You've lost your sanity!
*Pops from the crowd.*
Seriously, what were you thinking when you attacked me backstage last week? Did you think I would roll over and let you just bully your way into the Big Cheese division? If you want in, you're gonna to have to earn it just like everyone else. Just like me!
*More pops from the crowd.*
Let's forget about the Big Cheese Title for a second. If that clip didn't do enough to educate you on exactly who you're stepping into the ring with tonight, let me lay it all out for you. Before I took the Big Cheese Title away from King Snarf, away from Louie Bastardo, before that happened, I did something you never did. I held the Hardcore Porn Title. Twice. I did it by speaking sofly-
*PenWing raises his Sherwood.*
And carrying a big stick!
*The crowd roars.*
Surprisingly, even more difficult, was winning the Donkey Lovin' Tag Team Championship alongside Captain Sammitch. Tell me Charlie, how many Tag Team Championships have you won? Wait, don't answer that, because we all know what you're going to say. You haven't won any!
*The crowd cheers.*
So now you want to step into the ring with the big boys? Just like that, you think you have what it takes to walk through this building on your Pitbull Line? Charlie, you walked that line right into the wrong person, because tonight, you're not just stepping into that ring behind you ro take on a former Big Cheese Champion in a wrestling match. No way. You want to take on the big boys, you need to prove just how tough you are! In a Hockey Fight!
*The crowd roars.*
Now, you're probably wondering what a Hockey Fight is, so please allow me to explain to you how this will work. We fight, without weapons, in the ring. This Sherwood I'm holding, it stays in the locker room, as does your table leg. There is no countout and no submission. It takes a five count pin to win. That's five, Charlie, not three. Oh, and before I forget, there's one other little detail you might want to know about. Any third man in will be suspended. You want to beat me, Charlie? You want to prove you belong in the big leagues? You need do to do it all by yourself!
*The crowd cheers. It looks like PenWing is about to walk to the back, but instead he waits for the crowd to quiet down agian.*
I promptly lost the Big Cheese Title to Joe Mama? There was nothing prompt about my four month title reign. And there's going to be nothing prompt about the beating I hand out to you tonight! Sudden Death doesn't die tonight, Charlie. It's not something you can kill. It's a rule of life. A simple fact. Anytime, anywhere, anyway you want it, <the crowd joins in> SUDDEN DEATH RULES!
*PenWing raises his Sherwood as "We Will Rock You" blasts over the speakers. He stares down at Charlie for a few mintutes as more security guards run down to prevent any further altercations with the crowd or PenWing. Satisfied that he won't be hit from behind, PenWing makes his way backstage.*
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17,801
terrible podcaster 15000+ posts
|
|
terrible podcaster 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17,801 |
<'Let's Get It Started' blares over the speakers and the crowd erupts in cheers as Captain Sammitch hi-fives PenWing in passing and makes his way to the ring.>
Captain Sammitch: I hope you all came expecting to see something unforgettable tonight. I promise you won't be disappointed!
<Pops from the crowd>
CS: I'd like to take a moment, before I say what I came out here to say, to thank a few people for getting me here. Because as I've said, no matter how big and bad you think you are, nobody gets here all by themselves. First, I'd like to thank Meeko for making everything the SDC has accomplished in the last several months possible. Second, I'd like to thank PenWing for continuing to fight and win like a champion, regardless of whether he's holding the belt or not. But most of all, I want to thank all of you, the fans, for making all this possible.
<The crowd cheers wildly.>
Marcum: At least Sammitch is getting a good reception before the last match of his career!
Monroe: If there's one thing you should have picked up on by now, it's that you should never underestimate the Captain!
CS: All of you are the reason I've accomplished all of this, and if I walk out of here as the new RDCW Champion tonight, I promise I'll come up with a fitting way to reward those who have supported me! But whether I win or lose tonight, I guarantee you're in for a show you won't ever forget!
<Huge pops from the crowd>
CS: Joe Mama, I'm sure you're listening to this. At Havoc, you threatened to 'finish what you started' and end my career. Well, this isn't the first chance you've had. And I'm still here. I'm sure you're going to throw everything you have at me tonight. I hope, for your sake, that you do. Because that's about what it's going to take if you're at all interested in stopping me. Every single time we've met, at least one of us has come away from the match seriously battered. Tonight, Joe, I can pretty much guarantee that even if you win and keep your title belt, you'll pay dearly for it.
Monroe: The challenger is wasting no time throwing the gauntlet down!
Marcum: He's all talk! Sammitch is no match for Joe Mama!
CS: I've been waiting for this for a long time, Joe. Tonight, it's either you or me. You wanna try and end my career? You think you can just throw your weight around in this ring and expect to win? Try it. I came here to represent the SDC and all these fans, and if you're expecting an easy title defense, you've got another thing coming. Tonight, Joe, you're in for the fight of your life.
<The crowd goes wild as Captain Sammitch slips out of the ring and makes his way backstage>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
|
|
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009 |
Captain Sammitch is at the head of the ramp when "Faded" cues up. As the guitar intro blasts over the speakers, Joe Mama steps out from the back, microphone in hand, Title over his shoulder. He turns to his challenger.
JM: Do you wanna hear this from in the ring? Or would you prefer to hide out in the back where it's "safe"?
Joe Mama walks to the ring and, after a moment, Captain Sammitch follows him. Joe Mama enters the ring and holds up the Heavyweight Cheese Title to the crowd. They mostly cheer, though there are some booing. Sammitch enters the ring. Joe turns to address him.
JM: Last week, Sammitch, you survived one hell of a match to earn your title shot tonight. You were battered and beaten by two men who are no slouches themselves. And I'll be honest: if I had been asked, I would not have picked you to pull off the victory. Especially after you lost to James Fantastic, of all people. Balls Nasty is a fierce competitor. He's a gay Scientologist, but a fierce competitor. And Nowhereman's midlife crisis only makes him more dangerous to his opponents than he already was. So, in the end, I'm going to give credit where it's due. You earned your title shot and I'm not afraid to say that I was impressed with the way you battled to win it.
The crowd cheers. Chants of "Sammitch" and "JM" fill the arena. Captain Sammitch nods to the crowd in appreciation and mouths the words "Thank You" to Joe Mama...
JM: But let's be honest here. It's a long way from "impressed" to "respect".
The crowd reacts to that statement. Many people boo Joe Mama. Some are still cheering and others are still chanting names.
Monroe: What does the Champion mean by that? Captain Sammitch has earned everyone's respect with his performance last week!
Marcum: Shut up and he'll tell us!
JM: I earned this belt that I have over my shoulder. Through blood, sweat, and broken bones. I have battled everyone who stepped up to take what was mine. And I'm proud to say I kicked a LOT of asses to get to where I am. Including your good buddy PenWing. In one hell of a match, I drove home a very serious point that I've been making for months: if you're focused on friendship and loyalty to your buddies, you WILL fail in this business! You and PenWing seem to think that the RDCW is a great social club where people are dying to meet and be pals. The truth is that the RDCW is a business! And I've said it dozens of times, it's a business of titles! While you and PenWing sit around campfires and sing friendship songs and consider these fans your pals. I've been out here winning titles! I've been bleeding and risking my health and livelihood to make myself the best damn wrestler in this promotion! And this belt - this Big Cheese Title - says I've succeeded!
The crowd is cheering.
JM: Let me say it again: I take nothing away from you. Your abilities and your dedication to what you believe in make you a great competitor. But the fact that you're more interested in your pals and these fans are what separate you and I. You are a great competitor! I am a great CHAMPION! And if I have to explain the difference, then that just underscores what the difference is. You won one HELL of a match last week! But your opportunity came because I issued an open challenge that you accepted, not because of where you stand in the rankings and not because of titles you held. You're here because I permitted it! I DEMANDED it! And don't kid yourself into believing otherwise!
Tonight, Sammitch, you and I will face each other. We've had a long, brutal feud that ended for a time with both of us in the hospital. And I was the one who put us BOTH there! Because I'm willing to go that extra yard and do what it takes to win! And if you're not ready to do the same then you're in for a long, bad match! I almost took you out of wrestling at Wargasms - if you're not ready to do everything it takes to beat me, then I WILL end your career tonight! This title means too much to me to just roll over and let you have it! You want to beat me? You want to be the Heavyweight Cheese Champion? Then, Sammitch, you better be willing to give MORE than 100%. Because, tonight, I'm not just looking to defend my title or end our feud...tonight, I'm looking to PERMANENTLY eliminate a contender for my Title!!!
See you later, Sammitch...
Joe Mama drops the microphone as "Faded" plays again. He walks past Captain Sammitch and, as he steps through the ring, says something to him. Captain Sammitch nods at him. He has an intense look on his face. Sammitch says something back that causes Joe Mama to smile and slowly nod. Joe Mama leaves the ring area as Captain Sammitch hypes up the crowd. Then he leaves the ring as well.
Monroe: What did those two say to each other?
Marcum: I don't know, but I do know this: tonight's Heavyweight Cheese Title Match will be one HELL of a match!!!
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 46
25+ posts
|
|
25+ posts
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 46 |
*The Cheese-o-tron comes to life with the image of a young Japanese man. He's wearing a t-shirt that says "Havoc #1 Announcer." The sound comes on, and there is giggling in the background, followed by: "Oh Darth!" The man begins speaking in a thick accent.*
B: This is Bukake, Havoc numbahr one annoncer! I am standing deep within the bowels of the Cheesedome, outside the door to the cellar!
*There is a sudden scream followed by laughter.*
B: I will now knock on the door to get an interveiw with the Sith Lord Darth! <Bukaki knocks on the door> Hello! Is someone in there?
*The noise stops and the door slowly creaks open. Chesty Lerou stands in the opening, fully clothed in her leather attire.*
Chesty: Can I help you?
B: Yes! This is Bookake, Havoc numbahr one annoncer, here to interview Darth about his Hahrdcore Porn treeple threat match!
Chesty: Oh, you're the new guy! Come on in. Darth is just getting ready for the match.
*Bookaki winks at the camera and motions towards the room. As he walks in, he is hit in the head by a paper airplane. Chesty doubles over laughing.*
Chesty: <in between giggles> Hey, we're running out of paper! And you skipped my turn!
Darth: If you insist.
*Darth hands her a sheet of paper. Bukakee motions for the camera to focus on the paper. There is a printout of an image of El Superbeasto's head on the body of a cat, positioned to lick itself. Chesty breaks out in laughter again.*
Chesty: I can't believe people take the time to edit these and post them on the Internet! Doesn't anyone like him?
Darth: El Superbeasto is a very lonely man.
*Chesty laughs as she folds the paper into an airplane.*
Darth: You're bending the wrong way.
Chesty: That's not what you said last night!
*Chesty makes a final fold and throws the airplane, but it drops to the ground.*
Chesty: <between giggles> Oops.
*Darth takes another printout, this time of El Superbeasto's head on the body of a donkey. Chesty takes one look and almost falls over laughing. Bookakee uses this moment to begin his interview.*
B: Darth, even though you lost the battle royal last week, you have been booked in the Hahrdcore Porn match tonight! How did this happen?
Darth: Isn't it obvious? El Superbeasto made an ass of himself and taunted the darkside when he interfered in the match. In response, the darkside has answered him back.
B: I thought The Doctor chose to punish El Superbeasto by making the match a treeple threat?
Darth: All are merely a tool of the darkside. The darkside molds all to do its bidding. Those who refuse... <Darth squeazes the now complete airplane in his fist> are crushed. Beware the power, of the darksiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddde!
*Bookahki backs out of the room along with the cameraman. He turns around to face the camera again.*
B: This is Bukahki, Havoc numbahr one annoncer, repohrting.
<Bukahkee is hit in the head again by a paper airplane. Chesty errupts in laughter as the door slams shut behind him.>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,144
3000+ posts
|
|
3000+ posts
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,144 |
*Backstage, the Crotch is strutting down the hall when he stops at a door. The camera pans to show that it's Lor's locker room. The Crotch is about to knock when suddenly someone taps him on the shoulder. The Crotch lets out a yelp and turns around to see Lor standing behind him, smileing one of her sweet smiles.* Lor: Hiya darlin, I hear you've been looking for me. Crotch: <clears his throat> That's right, I have. I have a surprise for you. Lor: <beaming> Ooooooooh! I like surprises! Crotch: <grins> Well, I don't know that you're going to like this one, but I sure will. You see, Lor, tonight, I have made arrangements to prevent you from giving me Punch & Judy. Lor: <pouting> Y-you don't like my Punch & Judy? Crotch: Of course I like your Punch & Judy, sweety. It's just, too much of it can put a... a strain on our relationship. Yes, that's it. You have to understand, Lor--honey, you're kind of woman is a lot for a man to handle. So, tonight, you can't give me Punch & Judy. In fact, tonight, you can't even lay a finger on me, because I will be the special guest referee in your title defense against Princess Elisa. And I must say <the Crotch eyes Lor over with a big grin> you do wear that Boobie Belt well. Lor: <still pouting> I thought you liked my Punch & Judy... <Lor starts to sob> Crotch: Oh, babe, don't cry, once the match is over, you'll be able to handle me again, and everything will be back to the way it was. But, until then <the Crotch stands tall> I have to be the model of impartiality. So I must distance myself from both match participants until the event itself. *Lor stops sobbing and slowly looks up at the Crotch with her big green eyes. Another sweet smile starts to spread accross her lips as she begins to giggle.* Lor: You're going to be the model of impartiality, huh darlin? Crotch: Of course. Tonight, I'm a referee. <does a little flexing> It is my sworn duty to call a fair and even match. Lor: Darlin, you wouldn't know what fair and even means if it came right up to you and kissed you on the lips. *Lor stops giggling and moves towards the Crotch, backing him into the door. Lor stands on her tippy toes and leans into him, supporting herself with her left hand against the door. She looks up at him as she places her right hand on his crotch. The Crotch inhales sharply.* Lor: <in a serious tone> Tonight, my darlin, when I step in that ring, you better be impartial. Cause if your not.... darlin you're going to find yourself in parts. Now, if I were you, I'd think long and hard <squizes the Crotchs, crotch> about exactly what it means to be impartial. *Lor starts to slowly back away with a sexy, evil smile on her face. Just as the Crotch relaxes, Lor moves in close again. The Crotch jumps back, and finds himself falling as the door he was leaning on opens behind him. With no way of recovering, the Crotch falls into a pool of mud.* Crotch: You...you- Lor: <giggling> Oh, Crotchypoo, you're not supposed to sit on the mud pie. Well, you can't go out to the ring looking all dirty like that. You're a referee tonight! You better go change. <seductively> See you later, my darlin. *Lor blows him a kiss with a sweet evil smile and sudectively walks off huming Ring Around The Rosies. She does alittle skip*Lor: ashes, ashes, we all fall down... *Lor turns the corner with a wink and disapears*
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
|
|
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Camera fades to the Cheesedome parking lot,where King Snarf Rules and Chris Oakley are standing beside what looks like a hearse;in the back we see a pair of caskets inscribed with the names of Darth and El Superbeasto on brass plates on the lids.
KSR: Tonight, my guest at this time, Chris Oakley, will battle Darth, one third of the Dark Lords, and the reigning RDCW hardcore champion El Superbeasto in a triple threat match that promises to be incredibly brutal...and Chris, before we get into the specifics of the bout, tell me something: What's up with the coffins?
CHRIS: Before I answer that, KSR, don't you think it's time you changed your name, seeing as how King Snarf's been fired from RDCW? (KSR cringes in embarrassment) Anyway, about the coffins...Tonight, I'm going to bury Darth's and Superbeasto's careers on my way to becoming RDCW's next hardcore champion. Darth, all the Jedi mind tricks in the world aren't going to be worth shit to you after I take you out with the Red Alert...(scattered pops from the crowd watching the interview on the Cheese-O-Tron)....and Superbeasto, I hope you enjoyed your reign as RDCW hardcore champ, because it's coming to an end tonight at Uncircumsized!!!(more pops from the crowd)
KSR: Last week on "Havoc", you said you were going to run the Bastardo Family out of RDCW...aren't you worried that might make you a target for their wrath?
CHRIS: I'm worried all right--worried that when I finally catch up to Screwy Bastardo I won't be able to restrain myself from laughing in his face long enough to give him the ass-whipping he so richly deserves. When he's all alone with none of his hired guns to turn to...when El Superbeasto is lying in a hospital bed with every bone in his body broken, Airhead and Disgrace have been sent back to the cheap whorehouse they came from, Big Fat Elvis has left the building permanently, when Johnny Evil looks more like Johnny Come Lately, and the Family's so-called "business partners" Sweet Willie Williams and Howlerama are running for the exits like the rats they are, Bastardo's going to wish he'd stayed in Hollywood! (pops from the crowd)
KSR: There you have it, folks...Chris Oakley has thrown down the gauntlet not just to El Superbeasto but to the entire Family Business stable! Now back to ringside!
Last edited by Chris Oakley; 2005-09-29 12:24 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 67
25+ posts
|
|
25+ posts
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 67 |
*Once again, we see Buhkahki, this time standing with reigning Hardcore Porn Champion El Superbeasto and his manager, Louie Bastardo.
"This is Bookacke, Havoc numbah one annonncer! I here with Hardcore Porn Champion El Supah Besto, and Louie Bastado. Supah Besto, what are your plans tonight in the ring against Darth and Chris Oakley?"
*Superbeasto grabs the mic, engulfing Bokakkee's hand.
ES: "It does not matter. Already I have destroyed both of these maricones. Do they think I fear them? Does the Doctor think the Giant Luchadore fears either of these two putas? I AM EL SUPERBEASTO!!!!!"
"Did you not see what I did to them on Havoc? I broke them both and left them lying in the ring for dead! And tonight, I will finish them both. And afterwards, The Family will have the biggest celebration in history!"
LB: We have worked out a battle plan tonight, to eliminate Darth and Chris Oakley from the RDCW forever!
*El Superbeasto chugs an entire bottle of tekilla and cracks the bottle over Bohcacki's head, knocking him to the floor. Superbeasto and Louie see this and burst out laughing before walking out of frame.
I will destroy all of you putas. Greetings from El Superbeasto.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1
living in 1962 15000+ posts
|
|
living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
The CheeseDome goes dark as "Cemetary Gates" begins to play. Grimm's voice is heard as the Dark Lords walk out upon the entranceway.
Images of the brutal Family Business attack on the Dark Lords from the Asylum match several months ago are shown on the Cheese-O-Tron.
They tried to destroy me. . .wishing I would just go away. But what is it--what have they really done? The simple minds of mortal men, they sent me back to the place that is my origin. Destroy me? The more they try the more powerful I become. And now I've risen from my unearthly grave, and I will slay the ones I once saved.
The reckoning is upon us. --the day that the Dark Lords seize the land and destroys all you hold dear, making playthings of your heroes and devouring your innocence.
The Dark Days are coming. . .an all-encompassing evil from which there is no escape, no mercy, no hope. It's called the future. . .and in the future I will look down upon thee, and I will decide whether you are an agent of darkness or just kindling for my fires. The power of darkness shall only be offered to a chosen few, and those who resist the temptations the Dark Lords. . .pain becomes synonymous with punishment. Embrace the darkness, and relish in the unearthly delight pain has to offer. Resist and there are no limits to the pain you subject yourself to. Don't fight it. . .it will tear your soul apart.
For I am the reaper of men, the changer of souls, the weaver of nightmares. . .and I am the heart of darkness. I am now and forever will be the purity of evil. The hell you were threatened with is no longer an option. It is a reality. . .a living, breathing reality, and you are all right in the middle of it. Yes, hell has relocated to earth.
The crowd sits in silence as Grimm, Darth, and Pig Iron stand in the ring. Grimm continues.
Tommy Savitz. . .they call you the Surgeon. Well, tonight you're going to get a doctorate in pain. This ring is my operating table. This arena is my hospital. Tonight, you will learn that you're just a scrub, and I am the power that will show you your own weaknesses.
You say you're "That Damn Good" well I say it's just "Too Damn Bad" for you. Because now it's Asylum Rules. That means anything I want to do to you, I'm free to do. Anything that these men behind me want to do to you, they're free to do. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it.
Tonight, you will fall to the Darkness and become just another victim of the Grimmlock. As the Dark Lords begin anew our path of destruction across the face of the RDCW.
Asylum Rules. Any time, all the time. Grimm is in control. I pull the strings. And tonight, Savitz, your strings are getting cut. Abandon all hope.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 6,236
The Swizzler.... 6000+ posts
|
|
The Swizzler.... 6000+ posts
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 6,236 |
I object ot winning...........I didn't do anything! I hearby nominate Lors to resume the booby title :P
Heh............glad my seventh period class doesn't know about this!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854
Schlub 15000+ posts
|
|
Schlub 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854 |
Quote:
PrincessElisa said:
I object ot winning...........I didn't do anything! I hearby nominate Lors to resume the booby title :P
Heh............glad my seventh period class doesn't know about this!
Neither did most people who've held it, you deserve it for being sweet and nice.
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
2,506,410.81 CAD Rack points
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 6,236
The Swizzler.... 6000+ posts
|
|
The Swizzler.... 6000+ posts
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 6,236 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,353
Award-Winning Author 10000+ posts
|
|
Award-Winning Author 10000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,353 |
Spammer? I hardly knew her!
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,144
3000+ posts
|
|
3000+ posts
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,144 |
Quote:
PrincessElisa said:
I object ot winning...........I didn't do anything! I hearby nominate Lors to resume the booby title :P
Heh............glad my seventh period class doesn't know about this!
thank you. 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374
300+ posts
|
|
OP
300+ posts
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374 |
Women's Booby Title
Lor (C) vs. Princess Elisa
"Revolution" hits and Lor seductively walks down to the ring in her skintight purple 'n' black "Harlequin" body suit. The Crotch motions for Princess Elisa, already in the ring, to stay in the opposite corner as Lor slowly climbs the ring steps and slips between the ropes. Lor hands the Crotch the Boobie Belt, which he raises above his head before handing if off to James White. Lor blows a kiss to Elisa, who looks at her in disgust. The bell rings, and the two women lock up. Elisa tries to take control early with a series holds and roll-ups, but Lor fights through her technical onslaught, sending Elisa into the corner ropes and jumping at her with a splash. Elisa falls forward, and Lor quickly locks in La Pagliaccia.
Marcum: This match is all over now! No one escapes La Pagliaccia!
Monroe: You sound very excited at the prospect of Lor winning this match. I thought you hated her?
Marcum: How can anyone hate Lor? Just look at her, in that skintight body suit! 
Elisa tries to fight her way out of La Pagliaccia, but Lor's hold is too tight. Elisa starts to tap, but just as the Crotch starts to signal for the bell, he notices Elisa's foot touching the rope, and calls for Lor to break the hold.
Monroe: Elisa had her foot on the rope! The tap doesn't count!
Marcum: Of course it counts! The Crotch can't just change his mind like that!
Monroe: It looks like Lor agrees with you!
Lor breaks the hold and stands up to face the Crotch in the center of the ring.
Lor: <yelling> What do you mean she had her foot on the rope? You saw her tap first!
Crotch: I'm sorry, baby. I can't give you the submission. The hold was illegal. You don't want to win that way.
Lor: <starts to sob> But-but- <Lor covers her face as she breaks down in tears>
Cortch: <taking Lor into his arms> Don't cry, please don't cry. Look, Elisa is still recovering from La Pagliaccia. You can still get the pin.
Lor: <smiling up at the Crotch> Oh baby, you're the greatest!
Lor reaches up and pulls the Crotch's face down to her's. She passionately kisses him on the lips. Not sure how to respond, the Crotch just stands there.
Monroe: Now this isn't right! Lor is seducing the referee during the match! Someone needs to put a stop to this!
Marcum: You go right on ahead and do just that. I'll stay here and watch.
Lor continues to kiss the Crotch as she turns her body away from him. She reaches around the back of his head and quickly drops down into Punch & Judy.
Monroe: Buhgawb! Lor just took out the ref!
Lor looks over to Elisa, and sees her using the ropes to slowly pull herself back to her feet. Lor places her hand over her mouth as she yawns and stretches. She slips out of the ring and takes the Boobie Belt back from James White. Elisa starts to yell after Lor as she slowly walks up the ramp. Lor turns around at the top and blows Elisa a kiss before disappearing in the back.
Monroe: I can't believe what I just saw! Lor just walked off!
Marcum: She clearly won the match. Obviously there was no need for her to remain in the ring!
Monroe: She didn't win! She disqualified herself!
Marcum: Did you see a title changing hands? Lor was the clear victor here tonight!
Hardcore Porn Title
El Superbeasto (C) vs. Chris Oakley vs. Darth
"The Imperial March" sounds as Darth rises up from below, Chesty Lerou at his side. The pair make their way to the ring and Darth unshoulders his golf bag and begins testing shots.
"Rooster" cues up as Chris Oakley walks out onto the rampway. He signals to the back and the Bond Brigade members wheel out several dollies and wheelbarrows full of plunder to the ring.
Monroe: Chris Oakley's come prepared tonight!
MarcuM: But he may have just given his opponents the means to finish him! Whatta maroon!
Finally, El Superbeasto's music hits and the Hardcore Porn Champion hits the rampway, accompanied by Louie Bastardo. Oakley sneers at the sight of Bastardo while Darth glares at the man who took the Hardcore title from him.
Louie motions to the back and Howlerama bring out a special weapon for the Giant Luchadore.
Monroe: It's another sink, Madman!
MarcuM: Stainless steel this time! You gotta love the genius of Louie Bastardo!
Superbeasto takes the sink and heads down to ringside as the bell rings and the match is underway! Darth pounds Oakley with a nine iron and Oakley hits the ropes. Superbeasto tosses the sink into the ring and slides in under the bottom rope, but the Dark Lord is ready for him and tees off on the Giant's mask covered head.
Oakley hits Darth with a low blow and goes for a Red Alert, quickly following with a Kill 'Em All" from the top rope! Oakley heads out to ringside and begins tossing plunder into the ring. Stop signs, chairs, garbage cans, two by fours, a staple gun, a cheese grater, the works.
He slids in and picks up the staple gun and goes to work, stapling Superbeasto's forehead. Darth pounds on Oakley with a garbage can and then hits a Sithspawn onto a stop sign!
Superbeasto recovers and picks up a couple of cheese graters, he works over both men's foreheads with the graters, creating huge bloody gashes! Darth and Oakley are bleeding profusely as Superbeasto searches for another weapon!
He picks up a roll of barbed wire, but Oakley goes for a two by four and whacks him in the
Fat Retard: STERNUM! THE STERNUM BYGAWB!!!!
Darth picks up the staple gun and staples Oakley's forehead again, widening the gash and Oakley's blood is flowing profusely!
Monroe: He's wearing the crimson mask!
Superbeasto whacks Darth with a chair, knocking him right on top of Oakley! Superbeasto places the chair on top of Darth and goes for a Giant legdrop!
MarcuM: Tijuana Facebuster!
Beasto picks up Oakley and hits him with repeated Giant Headbutts, staggering the Brigadier and sending him to the ground. He attempts a chokeslam but Darth nails the Giant with a chairshot to the head! He drops the chair in the middle of the ring and delivers a Sithspawn, smacking the Luchadore right into it!
Monroe: Darth's obviously been taking lessons from Grimm here! A Sithspawn ddt, 138 style!
MarcuM: Or maybe it's just payback for that Facebuster earlier!
Chris Oakley sneaks up behind Darth and locks him in the "Snuff the Rooster" sleeperhold. The Dark Lord drops down to one knee as he struggles to stay awake in the hold.
Oakley sneers through the blood covering his face and screams "Tonight is my night!" But before he can continue, the Giant Luchadore hits a Giantsault onto both men, sending them down to the canvas!
Superbeasto delivers another Giantsault as the ring shakes under the impact! He covers both men as Lothar makes the three count! Superbeasto is victorious once again!
MarcuM: Nobody can stop the Giant Luchadore! He's amazing! 
Monroe: I wouldn't be so sure, Madman! Look!
Balls Nasty rushes into the ring and begins pummeling Superbeasto with a garbage can! He lays out the Luchadore and places a pair of steel chairs over Superbeasto's head!
Monroe: He's going to the top rope!
MarcuM: I don't think this was covered in Dianetics!
Nasty delivers a Kentucky Waterfall onto the prone Giant, smashing the chairs into his head! Nasty walks over to Lothar and rips the Hardcore belt out of his hands.
Nasty looks down at the belt and spits on it, before dropping it onto Superbeasto's still form. He steps on the giant as he walks out of the ring and to the back.
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374
300+ posts
|
|
OP
300+ posts
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374 |
IC Title
Nowhereman (C) vs. Balls Nasty
Nowhereman dominates initially with a series of chops and punches. Nasty is able to turn the tide with a low blow followed by a belly to belly suplex. Nasty attempts and early cover, but Nowhereman easily kicks out. Nasty begins to go to work on Nowhereman's knee with repeatid kicks and slams concentrating on the right kneecap. Nasty sets up for the figure-4 leglock but Nowhereman kicks out.
Nowhereman bounces off the rope and hits a Fucking Cuntline. As Nasty attempts to get back on his feet, Nowhereman comes in and locks in the Crippler Cuntface. Nowhereman grimaces as he pulls backwards on Nasty's neck. Balls is trying to pull Nowhereman's hands away and break the hold but can't. Nasty is fading. The referee takes his hand and it drops three times, but Nasty puts his foot on the bottom rope so the hold is broken. Nowhereman, not aware that the match wasn't over drops his guard. Nasty shoulder tackles Nowhereman's knee from behind, sending the champ to the mat. Quickly, Balls Nasty executes a figure-4. The two struggle. Nowhereman uses his arms to pick himself up and slide over to the ropes. He keeps reaching, but his hand is still inches away. Nowhereman lifts up again and pulls himself closer. His arms stretch out one more time and grabs the rope.
When Nasty is forced to break the hold, he grabs Nowhereman and sets him up for the Camero Cut. Nowhereman slides out and pushes Balls into the ropes. Nowhereman grabs Nasty by the throat and prepares a Fuck off slam. Nasty elbows Nowhereman in the face and breaks free. Nasty hits a Tavernsmasher on Nowhereman and ascends to the top rope. There he poses for the crowd and mockingly points to his opponent. As he takes to the air, Nowhereman jumps up and catches him on the way down. Without hesitation, Nowhereman hits the Fuck off slam in the center of the ring. The champ then covers Nasty for the three count and retains his title.
Backstage after the match
Nasty is walking back to the locker room when he is hit in back of the head with a steel chair. El Superbeasto stands over him with bandages around his masked face.
Superbeasto: This, gringo, is revenge.
Beasto rolls Nasty onto his back and places the chair over him. El Superbeasto then hits a Giantsault.
Asylum Rules Match
Grimm vs. Tommy Savitz
"Lyla" cues up as Tommy "The Surgeon" Savitz and his wife, Terri, enter the arena. Tommy pauses in mid ring to take the mic and declares "I AM THAT DAMN GOOD!" as the fans chant along. Tommy smiles as Terri removes his outer jacket and steps out of the ring. He flexes his muscles and pulls on one of the ring ropes to loosen up.
The CheeseDome goes dark as "Cemetary Gates" begins to play and the Dark Lords rise up from beneath the entranceway. Grimm steps into the lead as Darth and Pig Iron (and Chesty Lerou) follow him to ringside.
Monroe: What are they doing heading down to the ring?
MarcuM: It's Asylum Rules! Anything goes!
Monroe: That's not right!
MarcuM: It's in his contract!
Grimm climbs into the ring and removes his outer gear as Darth and Pig Iron stare down Savitz. Savitz looks nonplussed and continues to smile and flex for the fans.
The match begins and the Dark Lords step back out to the floor as Grimm and Savitz lock up. They jockey for position and Savitz pushes Grimm back into the turnbuckle. The ref motions for the break and Savitz backs off and smiles. He drops to a knee and poses, taunting Grimm.
Grimm nods and circles around as Savitz moves back to his feet. They lock up again and Savitz muscles him back into the corner again. Ref break. Savitz taunts again as the crowd cheers his pose. Grimm slaps him in the face hard. Savitz drops his smile and the two go nose to nose in mid ring. Savitz motions for a test of strength and the two lock hands.
They go back and forth until Grimm hits a low kick, dropping Savitz to his knees. He pounds on Savitz' back and hits a gutwrench suplex. Grimm rolls out of the ring and pulls up a chair as Terri screams for her husband to get up.
He drops the chair in mid ring and hits the 138 on Savitz. Savitz is busted wide open. Grimm motions to the Dark Lords outside the ring and they set up a table as Grimm places Savitz on the turnbuckle. Grimm goes for the Kobe Special chokeslam, but Savitz kicks him off of the turnbuckle.
Savitz hits a diving legdrop from the top! He picks Grimm up and whips him into the ropes and hits a shot to the gut! He puts Grimm in the Scalpelplex and takes him over! Savitz goes for the pin, but Grimm kicks out at two!
Monroe: ONE! TWO! HE GOT HIM! NO!
Savitz locks Grimm in the Cardiac Arrest in the center of the ring! Grimm tries to fight out of it, but Savitz manages to hold him in the center of the ring. The ref moves in to check for submission as Darth climbs into the ring.
Darth drops an axehandle on Savitz, breaking the hold. He picks him up and delivers a Sithspawn, Darth goes to work on the Surgeon as Grimm recovers in the corner. Darth puts Savitz in the Sabrestretch, working on his back.
Monroe: This isn't fair! This isn't right!
MarcuM: It's Asylum Rules, Monroe! Don't you get it? Everything's legal here!
Darth drops Savitz and tosses him into the ropes. Savitz ducks under the clothesline attempt and hits a flying forearm! He hits an Anaesthetist, taking Darth down!
He locks Darth in the X-Ray just as Grimm pounds on Savitz. They pick Savitz up and hit a double chokeslam on him! They shove him back into the turnbuckle and begin kicking and stomping away on him.
Monroe: Somebody has to help Tommy Savitz!
The Tuesday Night Rockers' music hits as James Fantastic and Two-Ton Tommy hit the ringside area! Fantastic hits Pig Iron with his guitar as TTT jumps into the ring and attacks the Dark Lords!
Fantastic goes for a One And Only but Darth catches him in a bearhug and slams him to the mat! Tommy goes for a Tommybomb, but Grimm reverses into a backdrop and hits TTT with a running lariat!
Savitz attempts to recover, but Pig Iron hits a Pig on the Wing, taking him down! It's a full scale three on three brawl in the ring!
Monroe: Things have completely broken down in the ring!
MarcuM: This is what Asylum Rules is all about!
Fantastic and TTT battle to the outside with Darth and Pig Iron as Grimm and Savitz continue in the ring. Savitz hits an Operating Table as Fantastic attempts to send Pig Iron through the table at ringside. Pig Iron shoves him off into the guardrail! He positions Fantastic and hits a Swine-A-Sault, sending them both through the table!
Darth delivers a Sithspawn to TTT on the floor and pulls a golfclub out from the under the ring! He tees off and hits low on TTT!
MarcuM: FORE!!! 
The Dark Lords climb back into the ring as Savitz attempts lock in the Surgeon's Knife. They begin working over Savitz three on one as Darth and Pig Iron hold Savitz' arms while Grimm pounds away at his busted open head.
Suddenly. . .music hits.
Monroe: That's. . .that's. . .
"SPAAAAAANDEEEEX MONKEEEEYYY MMAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spamm's music continues as he rushes down to ringside. Spamm slips into the ring and prepares to confront the men who beat him down at Havoc! Spamm steps up to Grimm and looks at him menacingly. They lock eyes for a moment, before Spamm steps past Grimm and hits Savitz with a Spandex Superkick!
Savitz hits the mat as Grimm locks in the Grimmlock (Version 1) and Lothar checks Savitz. Savitz' arm drops three times and Lothar signals for the bell!
Monroe: WHY SPAMM WHY???
MarcuM: What a brilliant plan by the Dark Lords!
Spandex Monkey man has joined the Dark Lords. The Dark Lords leave the arena as Fantastic, TTT, and Terri attempt to help Savitz out of the ring.
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374
300+ posts
|
|
OP
300+ posts
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374 |
Hockey Fight
PenWing vs. Charlie
"We Will Rock You" blasts over the speakers and the crowd sings along as PenWing makes his way to the ring. He enters the rings and says something to Lothar, who nods. PenWing turns to face the entrance, awaiting Charlie's arrival.
Monroe: I wonder what PenWing told Lothar.
Marcum: He's probably altering the rules since he knows he'll never defeat Charlie in a straight fight!
"I Want It All" starts playing Howlerama make their way down the ramp to boos from the crowd. PenWing yells at them to get lost, but they hold up a couple of tickets as they make their way to two empty seats just behind the barrier. PenWing smiles at them as they sit down.
Monroe: What are those two goons doing out here?
Marcum: Didn't you see their tickets? They came to watch the match!
Monroe: Watch? 
Marcum: What else are they supposed to do? If they interfere they'll be suspended. Can't they show some support for their family member?
"Smells like Teen Spirit" blasts over the speakers and Charlie makes his way to the ring as the crowd continues to boo. Lothar goes over the rules of the match, and after both wrestlers nod in understanding, he signals for the bell.
PenWing wastes no time, connecting with a right to Charlie's jaw. PenWing continues to lash out at him with his fists, forcing Charlie into a corner. Charlie kicks PenWing's knee, and reverses there positions, whipping him into the corner. Charlie begins punching PenWing repeatedly in the gut. PenWing leans forward, and Charlie grabs him, falling back into a suplex. Charlie tries to keep his hold, but PenWing twists out of it, and as the two stand up, PenWing quickly hits Charlie with a Spin-o-rama. Both wrestlers fall to the mat.
Marcum: Charlie got a good shot at PenWing's leg early in this fight, and it's already paying off!
Charlie manages to shake off the kick and get back to his feet first. He knees PenWing in the head, sending him rolling onto his back. Charlie then drops an elbow on PenWing's knee. PenWing grabs his leg in pain, but Charlie stomps on his stomach, and drops another elbow onto his knee.
Marcum: The Pitbull is making his mark!
Monroe: Don't count PenWing out just yet.
Charlie pulls PenWing towards the corner, and he slides out of the ring. He grabs PenWing's leg and pulls it against the corner post. PenWing yells out in pain. Charlie rolls back in the ring and pulls PenWing to the center. He goes for the cover, but PenWing kicks out at two.
Marcum: He was so close!
Monroe: Not in this match he wasn't! It takes five to pin!
Charlie helps PenWing back to his feet, and tries to send him into the ropes, but PenWing reverses the move and connects a Drag 'n' Whip. PenWing slowly gets back to his feet and tries to walk off the pain. Charlie gets back up, but PenWing hits him with another Spin-o-rama. Again, both wrestlers go down. This time, PenWing crawls to the ropes and pulls himself up. Still holding on, he starts stomping his injured leg. Charlie gets back up, and PenWing yells as he pushes off the injured leg, launching himself into a devastating spear. PenWing grabs hold of Charlie's legs and tries to secure the pin, but Charlie kicks out at three.
Monroe: Buhgawb! PenWing fought through the pain to come close to a pin!
Marcum: Close doesn't cut it here!
PenWing stands up, but Charlie sweeps his legs out from under him, sending him back to the mat. Charlie stands up, and drops an elbow, but PenWing rolls out of the way. PenWing flips back to his feet, and the crowd errupts in cheer. PenWing gets behind Charlie and locks him into a belly-to-back suplex. PenWing hits another suplex. The crowd counts as PenWing executes a total of five suplexes. PenWing quickly goes for the cover, but Charlie kicks out at four.
Monroe: Charlie's endurance is inhuman!
Marcum: They don't call him the Pitbull for nothing!
PenWing grabs Charlie's legs and locks him into the Sharpshooter. Charlie yells out in pain as he fights to break the hold.
Marcum: What is that knucklehead doing? He knows he can't win with the Sharpshooter!
Monroe: He's not trying to win with it, he's trying to get even!
Charlie tries to pull PenWing towards the ropes, but just as he comes within reach, PenWing releases the hold. Charlie slowly gets back to his feet. As he turns around, PenWing runs at him for a spear, but Charlie deflects PenWing into the corner, sending his shoulder into the ring post. Now it's Charlie's turn to walk off the pain, as he makes his way towards PenWing. Charlie takes some shots at PenWing's back, and spins him around in the corner. He climbs to the second rope and starts beating down on PenWing's head. PenWing tries to fight Charlie off, and he climbs the ropes as well. Soon, both wrestlers are standing on the corner ropes, facing each other. Charlie tries to lift Penwing into a superplex, but PenWing fights back, and starts to lift Charlie. PenWing pulls Charlie up, and they fall back, out of the ring, hitting the ground hard.
Monroe: Buhgawb! PenWing just superplexed Charlie out of the ring!
Marcum: Both wrestlers are busted open! It's total mayhem!
Lothar goes out of the ring to check on the wrestlers. Neither one moves. He's about to signal for the paramedics when PenWing grabs his arm.
PenWing: No countout, no disqualification.
PenWing Slowly gets back to his feet as the crowd roars. He wipes some blood off his forehead and walks over to Charlie. PenWing helps Charlie to his feet and spears his back into the ring apron. PenWing then tries to whip Charlie into the barrier, but Charlie reverses the move, and PenWing flips over the barrier and into the crowd. Charlie drops to his knees and catches his breath. PenWing slowly gets back to his own knees and crawls to the barrier. He grabs hold, pulling himself back to his feet. Charlie stands back up and starts walking towards PenWing. PenWing climbs on top of the barrier, and jumps at Charlie, taking him down with a crossbody.
Monroe: Buhgawb! These two are destroying each other! Lothar has to stop this!
Marcum: He'll stop it when it's over! Only a five count can end this match!
PenWing kneels over Charlie and punches him. Charlie, tries to block, and manages to kick PenWing off of him. PenWing falls back, into the barrier. Charlie gets back up and grabs PenWing's arm. He whips him towards the ring, but PenWing manages to jump up and slide back in under the ropes. PenWing rolls to the center of the ring, and slowly starts to get back to his feet as Charlie climbs the corner ropes. Charlie leaps off the ropes and takes PenWing down with a crossbody. Charlie goes for the cover, and PenWing kicks out at four. Charlie can't believe it. He gets to his feet and starts yelling at Lothar.
Monroe: Uh oh, Charlie is losing his composure out there. He's giving PenWing the time he needs to recover!
PenWing quietly positions himself behind Charlie and pulls him into a small package. Lothar counts to three before Charlie kicks out, sending PenWing back to the mat. Charlie gets up first, and helps PenWing to his feet. Charlie sends PenWing into the corner ropes, but PenWing pulls himself on top of them and turns to face Charlie. Charlie quickly runs to the corner and climbs to the second rope. He low blows PenWing, and climbs all the way to the top. Charlie brings PenWing down with the Tower of London, and quickly covers him up. Lothar counts to five, and signals for the bell.
Marcum: Charlie won!
Monroe: What a cheap vitory.
Marcum: There was nothing in the rules against it!
Lothar holds up Charlie's arm, but Charlie pulls away. He signals for Howlerama to enter the ring. Lothar tries to get in their way, but Howler and Highwayman just push him aside. Charlie motions for them to pull PenWing to his feet. Charlie then slips out of the ring and reaches under the ring apron, pulling out a table leg. Charlie slides back into the ring as Howler and Highwayman each take one of PenWing's arms and hold him up. Charlie hits PenWing with the Pitbull line, opening up a new gash on his forehead. "Smells like Teen Spirit" blasts over the speakers as the trio leave the ring. Howler and Highwayman lift Charlie onto their shoulders as they walk up the ramp. Charlie raises the bloodied table leg up as he flips off booing crowd. Paramedics run down the ramp to tend to PenWing, lying bloodied and unconscious in the ring.
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
|
|
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
==== Monroe: It’s now time for our World Tag Team Championship match! The Allied Powers, consisting of MisterJLA and Captain Howdy, have seen some tough times of late! In their last title defense against Oakers and El Daga, JLA pushed Howdy off a ladder, and apparently injured Howdy’s leg!
Marcum: He had to do it! If he hadn’t, El Daga would have reached the belts first in the ladder match! JLA sacrificed Howdy for the good of the team.
Monroe: That’s one way of looking at it. Then the next week, JLA cost Howdy a win in the Hardcore Porn battle royale, by rushing down to the ring and berating and distracting the Captain!
Marcum: JLA was only cautioning his partner to not get hurt! Again, JLA was looking out for the team. T-E-A-M!
Monroe: Also last week, JLA and…Jeeves of all people, attacked the Rockers after the Rockers won their # 1 contender’s match last week…why did Jeeves help out, and not Howdy? Does that mean Howdy has left the team?
Marcum: No, you poof, it means Howdy was recovering from his loss in the Hardcore Battle Royale! He took quite a beating! As did James Fantastic! JLA had him trapped in the “Justice Lock of America” last week, and I bet JF is hurt too!
Monroe: I’m surprised Jeeves hasn’t quit himself! JLA sacrificed him to Darth, just to save his own skin.
Marcum: That’s what a good butler is supposed to do!
Monroe: Butlers are supposed to get knocked unconscious by professional wrestlers, while their employers run like Hell? Where did you get that from?
Marcum: Uh…The Rockers, the team of Two Ton Tommy and James Fantastic have just taken the ring! And let’s go backstage to get the Allied Powers’ intro! ==== A fat guy with a grey beard is surrounded by security guards. He knocks on the Allied Powers dressing room door. MisterJLA walks out, with his share of the RDCW World Tag Team Championships fastened around his waist. He looks back into the dressing room… ==== JLA: Aren’t you ready yet? === A short, pudgy man in a suit walks out, with a World Tag Team Championship hanging from his shoulder. === Jeeves: I am ready to serve you, sir! === One of the security guards starts to chuckle, and JLA shoots him a dirty look. === Monroe: This HAS to be a joke! Jeeves has replaced Captain Howdy? If this is true, Howdy has left the team, and JLA and Jeeves won’t stand a chance! RDCW World Tag Team Championships: (c ) The Allied Powers (MisterJLA/Jeeves) vs #1 Contenders: The Tuesday Night Rockers (Two Ton Tommy/James Fantastic)  As the Powers make their way to the ring, Rob’s Damn Killer Instinct Rip Off Theme Music plays. JLA and Jeeves hand the Tag Belts to referee Lothar, the bell sounds, and we’re off! Two Ton Tommy decides to start off for the Rockers, and after some conversing, Jeeves starts for the Powers. === JLA: You’ll do fine Jeeves. Just remember what I taught you.
Jeeves: At once, sir! For Great Justice!
JLA: Whatever. === Jeeves walks to the middle of the ring, where the gigantic Two Ton Tommy is standing. Tommy immediately floors Jeeves with a punch! He then picks up Jeeves and throws him all over the ring! ==== Monroe: This one is going to be over very quickly unless JLA does something! ==== As if on cue, JLA tries to intervene to save his partner. Lothar holds JLA back, and turns away from the action in the ring. Seeing this, Jeeves catches Tommy with…A “Final Justice”! === Marcum: A “Final Justice” by Jeeves! JLA taught him well!  === JLA leaves the ring, and Jeeves goes for a quick cover. 1…2… Tommy gorilla presses Jeeves off of him, ending the count. Jeeves then crawls to his corner, and tags in JLA. Before Two Ton can climb to his feet, JLA reels off a series of stomps, knee, and elbow drops! ==== Marcum: He’s trying to keep the big man off his feet! Brilliant! === JLA measures up Tommy for an elbow drop off the middle turnbuckle, but Tommy rolls out of the way! Tommy pulls JLA up by his hair, and sends him to the mat with a chokeslam! Tommy, still hurting from JLA offense and Jeeves’ kick to the nuts, tag in James Fantastic. JF catches a confused JLA with a nice string of high-flying moves, which gets the crowd on their feet! JF then climbs to the top rope, and hits JLA flush in the face with a missile dropkick! But… ==== Monroe: James hit the mat and landed badly on his ankle!
Marcum: He’s feeling the effects of “The Justice Lock of America” from last week! JLA is a master strategist! === JLA is stunned from the dropkick, but JF can not capitalize due to his injury! JLA gets to his feet first, and immediately traps JF in another “Justice Lock of America”!  Fantastic tries to get to the ropes, but JLA pulls him back to the middle of the ring. Just as it appears that Fantastic is ready to tap, Two Ton Tommy lumbers into the ring, and swiftly kicks JLA in the head! An enraged Jeeves rushes in to spear Tommy, but he bounces right off of him! Lothar sends Tommy back to the apron, and then rolls a dazed Jeeves out of the ring. Meanwhile, JLA connects with a series of botched moves on Fantastic! === Monroe: Looks like JLA is still trying to get the hang of this “wrestling” thing. ==== JLA then Irish whips Fantastic to the ropes and attempts a running clothesline, but JF ducks it, dives to his corner, and makes the tag! TTT and JLA then match each other hold for hold, and move for move, in an impressive display of wrestling and counter-wrestling! === Monroe: Where did that come from? JLA might actually know what he’s doing after all…and against a superheavyweight no less!
Marcum: Captain Howdy must be proud right now!
Monroe: I doubt he's even watching the match! ==== Next, TTT gorilla presses JLA, and drops him face first to the mat…but one of JLA’s legs hits Lothar, knocking him out as well! ==== Monroe: Lothar’s asleep again! Can’t we get some tougher refs? ==== Jeeves seizes the opportunity, and goes after JF who was standing on the ring apron. The two brawl outside the ring. Inside the ring, TTT and JLA are trading punches, when a roar erupts! ==== Monroe: It’s him!
Marcum:  So much for him not watching the match. === Captain Howdy is seen standing at the Cheesedome ramp. He slowly walks to the ring, and climbs in. Both JLA and TTT stop punching, and stare at Howdy with caution. He walks up to both wrestlers. ==== JLA: Buddy! I’m glad you could make it! I figured you needed the night off, so Jeeves… === Howdy promptly kicks JLA in the stomach, and then lands a “Twisted Buster”, his Twist of Fate move! ==== Monroe: I knew it! The Powers are finished! ==== TTT looks down at the unconscious JLA, then up at Howdy. He appears both shocked and extremely happy! He goes to shake Howdy’s hand… ==== Monroe: Will Howdy accept this peace offering? Will he join the Rockers? === Howdy hesitates, then shakes TTT’s hand! TTT breathes of sigh of relief, just before he receives kick to the stomach, and a “Twisted Buster”! Both TTT and JLA lie in ring knocked out. Howdy looks outside the ring and sees an injured JF and Jeeves fighting. Howdy looks down at TTT and JLA for a while. He then takes JLA’s arm, and places it over TTT. He then wakes up Lothar, and places him next to the legal men. 1…2…3 Lothar calls for the bell, and then goes back to sleep. === James White: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winners, and still Tag Champions: MisterJLA and…Captain Howdy and Jeeves? I don’t know. But they’re the Allied Powers! === The Captain leaves the ring, and rips the tag belts out of White’s hand. He throws one belt in the ring where JLA is trying to gather his senses. He lifts the other tag belt over his head, and walks back to the dressing room, to the boos and cheers of the crowd. === Monroe: So…they’re still a team?
Marcum: We can only hope!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374
300+ posts
|
|
OP
300+ posts
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374 |
Big Cheese Title
Joe Mama (C) vs. Capt. Sammitch
After a long, grueling forty minute contest that saw both competitors battle throughout the CheeseDome, Joe Mama finally defeated his longtime nemesis Captain Sammitch with a Brainbuster suplex.
After the match, Captain Sammitch went up to the Champion and extended his hand. Joe Mama paused for a moment, and looked at Sammitch. He looked at the fans. The fans roared in approval. He looked at Monroe and MarcuM. Finally, he began to extend his hand.
But before he could reach Sammitch, the CheeseDome darkened again. "Cemetary Gates" began to play as the Dark Lords rushed the ring en masse.
Monroe: Not now! Dammit! Not now! They've just fought a devastating brutal match!
MarcuM: Sounds like the perfect time to me!
Pig Iron and Spamm target Sammitch as Darth and Grimm go to work on JM. Spamm hits Sammitch with a Spandex Superkick, knocking him back into Pig Iron's grasp. PI gorilla presses Sammitch and follows up with a Swine-A-Sault!
Grimm and Darth hit a double chokeslam on JM! The Dark Lords tie JM up in the ropes while PI and Spamm finish their assault on Sammitch.
They take turns beating on JM as Grimm picks up the Big Cheese Title. He looks down at the belt and walks over to JM, locked in the ropes. He reaches down and grabs JM by the hair, holding the belt up close in front of his face.
Grimm: Everything you covet has a heavy price. This is your price to pay. Consider your challenge accepted.
The Dark Lords pull JM out of the ropes and Darth picks him up for a piledriver. Grimm climbs onto the turnbuckle and spikes it as they send JM STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!!
Monroe: MY GOB!! NO!! THERE'S NO CALL FOR THIS!!!
"Cemetary Gates" plays again as the Dark Lords leave the ring. Sammitch and JM lay on the mat as paramedics rush to ringside. The paramedics can be seen examining JM's neck as he lies still in the center of the ring.
Uncircumsized fades to a close.
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
|
|
|
|
|
