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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Homeland Security (33%, 5 Votes)
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Outcasts (C) (67%, 10 Votes)
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Dr. William Paragon (13%, 2 Votes)
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Pig Iron (87%, 13 Votes)
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Harleykwin / Chesty LeRou / Heidi Schwarz (60%, 9 Votes)
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Meeko / Stareena / Butterrican (40%, 6 Votes)
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Fused (0%, 0 Votes)
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Rex (0%, 0 Votes)
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Chewy Walrus (44%, 7 Votes)
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Big T (0%, 0 Votes)
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Chevy Nova (0%, 0 Votes)
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Zod (0%, 0 Votes)
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PCG342 (6%, 1 Votes)
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Jeremy (0%, 0 Votes)
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Pariah (0%, 0 Votes)
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Charlie (6%, 1 Votes)
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James Fantastic (6%, 1 Votes)
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Killconey (6%, 1 Votes)
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Johnny Evil (0%, 0 Votes)
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PenWing (25%, 4 Votes)
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Amuck (6%, 1 Votes)
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Doc. Mid-Nite (33%, 5 Votes)
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Darth (33%, 5 Votes)
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Captain Sammitch (C) (33%, 5 Votes)
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Princess Elisa (25%, 4 Votes)
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Lor (C) (75%, 12 Votes)
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Nowhereman (40%, 6 Votes)
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Grimm (33%, 5 Votes)
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Spandex Monkey Man (C) (27%, 4 Votes)
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I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
A remix of Rage Against the Machine's "Township Rebellion", Rob's Damn Killer Instinct Rip Off Theme Music, and Ice Cube's "Lethal Injection" is boomed through the CheeseDome's speakers! Quote:
Bastardo: That's...an interesting blend of music!
The IV take the ring, and JLA can be seen holding a mic. As the music stops, he covers the mic, and whispers to Joe Mama.
Quote:
JLA:<whispering> Would you like to start us off, Joe?
Joe Mama: That's OK. You start us off. I'll let you know when I'm ready with my comments.</whispering>
As JLA gets ready to speak, the crowd becomes quiet.
Quote:
JLA: Here we are, at No Way Out Of The Closet. Myself and Captain Howdy, better known as the Greatest Tag Team EVAR, the Allied Powers!
The crowd responds mainly with boos.
Quote:
JLA: Former Cunt Holder, and Tag Champion: Doc.Mid-Nite !
The crowd roars its approval!
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JLA: And the former 2 time, 2 time, 2 time Cunt Holder, a 2 time, 2 time, 2 time Tag Champion, a former Big Cheese Champion, and the last man EVAR to hold the Eurotrash Championship, Joseph Mother!
Once again, the crowd goes wild!
Quote:
JLA: And despite all of that, despite all of our accomplishments, despite the fact that we are the greatest collection of talent in RDCW history, the IV of us stand before you...naked.
Bastardo: HOLY SMOKES! They're going to get naked! I'm covering my eyes! Tell me when they're gone, Monroe!
Monroe:  That's not what he meant.
JLA: That's right. We are all naked: there isn't one title belt covering one of our waists!
JLA turns to JM, whispering again:
Quote:
JLA: Now's a good time, Joe. Want to take it from here?
Joe Mama: No, no. You're doing fine. I'll give you my comments soon, don't worry!
MisterJLA turns his attention to the crowd again.
Quote:
JLA: This is embarrassing! We deserve better than this! But never fear, fans. We have...a plan! And that plan starts tonight! Tell 'em, Doc!
Doc. Mid-Nite grabs the mic and begins to speak...
Quote:
Faithful Fucktards...! The IV have been jobbed as of late, as the hierarchy of the RDCW has obviously decided to declare war on us. But don't believe the hype. The IV is still here. The IV is still strong. The IV is still the most dominant force of wrestling talent ever assembled in the history of the wrestling industry!"
(The crowd roars and throws up all four's...)
"They're holding us back 'cause they're running scared... They're holding us down because they are frightened...!"
(The Late One pauses...)
"It was only inevitable... The fear in their eyes was there since our inception. We are all former champions, we are all the elite... We are the IV and in the RDCW, we are the Villains United!"
(The crowd begins to repeatedly chant "Four!","Four!")
"At No Way Out of the Closet, The IV begin to right the wrongs of the RDCW... At No Way Out of the Closet, The IV take back what's rightfully ours... At No Way Out of the Closet, The D.O.C. takes on Cap'n Somebitch and the Boogeyman for his Intercuntinental Championship in a three way dance..."
(Chants of D.O.C! D.O.C! bellow throughout the Cheesedome...)
"At No Way Out of the Closet, Protect Yo' Neck!" 
JLA takes the mic from Doc.
Quote:
JLA: Nicely played, Doc. But that's just one phase of our plan. I haven't commented on it yet, but it's true: I will be Main Eventing RobbleMania for the World Heavyweight Championship!
The crowd grows silent.
Quote:
JLA: I know you're all sitting there, quietly pondering the great match that I will be a part of at the biggest PPV of them all.
Monroe: No, I think they're just bored by the thought.
Bastardo: What did you just say? Sorry, I was in Deep Thought, thinking about how aweshome that match will be!
JLA: And get this! SPAMM, Nowhereman, and Grimm are going to kill themselves in a Triple Decker Cage Match tonight! I don't even have to compete here! I'll be fresh as a daisy for RobbleMania, and whoever wins that bitch fest will probably be broken down! I WIN AGAIN!
The crowd boos wildly!
JLA hands the mic to Joe Mama, but Joe begs off.
Quote:
JLA: Uh...so there it is! Our plans to bring the IC, and World Championships home!
Howdy: Don't forget T.I.T.S.!
JLA: I'm always thinking of tits, but this is business, my friend!
Howdy rips the mic from JLA's hands...
Quote:
Howdy: The T.I.T.S. Tournament is still going on, and myself and MisterJacksie over there, are still in it! We still haven't gotten our rematch yet that we deserve as former champions! Once we win T.I.T.S., the ratbags that run this bloody company will have to give us our match at RobbleMania!
JLA: W H O A ! Settle down, dear boy! I already have a match for the World Title that night!
Howdy: You know I'll do all the work! You'll just throw some botched moves, and then kick someone in the goolies!
JLA: Sounds like a plan! And since I won you and Jeeves extended visas, you both can stay for the biggest PPV of them all!
Howdy: And you beat Homeland Security by yourself to get them! How did those two grebs get a Title shot tonight?
JLA: Ask thedoctor!
Howdy: No, I don't want to! He smells like old cheese!
JLA: OK! So there it is! Doc Mid-Nite will bring us the IC Belt! I will Main Event, and win the World Title at RobbleMania, since I won this year's Randy Rumble! I still get all randy just thinking about it!
And Howdy and I are still dreaming of conquering T.I.T.S.! The Tag Titles will soon be ours once again, so get our belts ready, Outcasts!
Our plan is starting tonight, and when it concludes at RobbleMania, we will be naked no more!
The IV's remix music hits, and JLA happily throws the mic back at James White.
Quote:
Joe Mama: JLA? I'm ready with my comments now...
Camera fades to black...
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Camera fades to the Outcasts' dressing room,where Bookaki is standing by with El Superbeasto and Chris Oakley.
BOOKAKI:This is Bookaki, numbah one RDCW announcah, with Chris Oakrey and Er Superbeasto. Tonight you defend RDCW tag team titres against Homerand Secu...
CHRIS(abruptly cutting Bookaki off mid-sentence): Wrong, you overpaid and underachieving Taka Michinoku ripoff. Tonight we add Homeland Security to the long and ever-growing list of casualties of the juggernaut that is the Outcasts!If G-man thinks he's going to have any opportunity to put the Right Winger on me, he's sorely mistaken-- that overrated Oliver North wannabe is about to get a first-hand demonstration of just how effective the Odd Man Out really is.
SUPERBEASTO: Si,compadre! And that ridiculous little puta Wannabuyamonkey will be destroyed as well!
CHRIS: But before we proceed to the inevitable destruction of Homeland Security, I just want to invite everyone watching this pay-per-view to tune in to next week's Havoc for the final night of James Not-so-fantastic's RDCW career.
LOUIE(off-camera): What do you think they're up to,Monroe?
MONROE(off-camera): I don't know, Louie, but it doesn't sound good!
BOOKAKI: Where your friend from Ring of Dishonor?
CHRIS: Ah, he couldn't get out of his contract-- but trust me, we'll find a way to win anyhow.
SUPERBEASTO(Raising his fist):Viva Los Outcasts!
Superbeasto and Chris walk away as camera pans over to Bookaki.
BOOKAKI: This is Bookaki, numbah one RDCW announcah, signing off.
Camera fades back to Louie and Monroe at ringside.
Last edited by Chris Oakley; 2006-03-04 1:32 PM.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17,801
terrible podcaster 15000+ posts
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terrible podcaster 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17,801 |
<'Let's Get it Started' blares over the speakers and the crowd cheers loudly as Captain Sammitch makes his way to the ring...>
Louie: I wonder what kinda half-ass showboating we're about to witness here...
Monroe: At least let the man get to the ring and say something before you start drawing conclusions!
<Sammitch slides into the ring and climbs a turnbuckle. He holds the IC belt up high and salutes the fans, and is greeted by massive pops from the crowd. Hopping down, the IC champion accepts a microphone from James White and addresses the Cheesedome...>
CS: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Tonight, you've already had the opportunity to hear two factions weigh in on just how incredible and unbeatable they happen to be. How bout that?
Louie: What about it? Does he have a problem hearing from wrestlers who're better than him? 
Monroe: 
CS: Yeah, about that. Tonight, we've got a bevy of title matches in almost all brackets, including the brand-new Y Division. In those matches, you may or may not see the aforementioned smack-talkers live up to their words. But I'll tell you what you're guaranteed to see...
Louie: I wonder what that could be...
CS: Tonight, in the Y Division Gauntlet Match, you will see the high-flying master of mayhem, Killconey!
<Pops from the crowd...>
CS:You'll see the raw power of a man who can smack down opponents almost as easily as he can woo the ladies, the mighty Chewy Walrus!
<More cheers from the crowd...>
CS: And last, but certainly not least, you'll see half of one of the most successful tag teams to ever grace this ring, the once and future RDCW Heavyweight Champion, the one and only Penwing!
<Huge pops from the crowd. Some begin chanting PenWing's name...>
CS: These three men will be vying for a new title, and even though statistically, the SDC has about a one-in-five chance of picking up this new title, the teamwork, intensity, superior technical abilities, and the commitment to hard work and to the fans that make the SDC so great all come out to better than even odds that there'll soon be another title in the house for the Sudden Death Connection!
Louie: As usual, he's all talk...
Monroe: Can you think of one good argument to dispute anything he just said?
Louie: Easy! He's... it's a... well... Sammitch used a run-on sentence! So there!
CS: Now, I've heard that I'm about to be stripped of my Inter-Cunt-inental title belt tonight. Supposedly, the pressure should be on for me, right? Well, I'm not so sure about that. You see, I've already defeated both of the opponents I'm about to face. I've outlasted Darth in more faction-versus-faction matches than I care to count, as well as in the Rumble. And I outlasted and defeated Doc Mid-Nite not only in a number of tag matches, but in one of the most grueling battles of endurance and determination ever, the unprecedented Running Man Match.
Monroe: It's true! Sammitch has outperformed both men on several occasions!
Louie: Even the worst low-life jobber gets lucky now and then. That's wrestling!
Monroe: What exactly does that have to do with Sammitch?
CS: You'd think I'd be under a lot of pressure in this match, but to be honest, tonight's a win-win scenario for me. Why? If I win this match, I've defended another title against not one, but two tough opponents. And if I lose? Well, that'll just start me down the road to the only title I have yet to win - the RDCW World Heavyweight Championship. Now, I don't mean any disrespect to either of my opponents tonight. I know what they're capable of, and since my name isn't Chris Oakley, I have enough of a grip on reality not to underestimate opponents in the ring. But as I said, I've been in tougher matches, and I've fought and beaten both of them before. So I can promise all of you one hell of a show tonight!
Louie: Well, at least he was dead-on about Oakley being off his nut! 
CS: The Sudden Death Connection is on the warpath. Win or lose, we always have and always will bring one hundred and ten percent to the ring. If the opposition brings any less, they can expect a very short and very painful match. Peace.
<'Let's Get it Started' cranks up again and the crowd goes wild as Captain Sammitch hands the microphone to James White, exits the ring, and disappears backstage...>
Monroe: Captain Sammitch has thrown down the gauntlet! Can the SDC pick up the Gauntlet Match? And will Sammitch still be holding the title after the three-way IC match? Stay tuned!
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Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Camera cuts to a hallway near the backstage area,where we see Chris stalking towards the curtain looking even angrier than usual,with Superbeasto and Chasm at his side and Joey Biles following close behind him.
JOEY: Champ, can I get a few words from you about Cap--
CHRIS: Not now, Joey, I've got business to attend to.
"Rooster" erupts from the Cheesedome PA speakers as Chris storms down to the ring,grabbing the mic like he wants to strangle it.
CHRIS: Congratulations, Captain LameBitch. You just signed your own death warrrant....Once the Outcasts have destroyed Homeland Security and wiped the floor with the Rebel Express, we're coming for you and your SDC buddies next! It was bad enough when you and DeadThing were disrespecting my wrestling skills, but when you started making fun of my mental health you stepped over a line you should never have crossed.
Brief but dramatic pause.
CHRIS: So to make a short story even shorter, me, Superbeasto, and Chasm are challenging the Sudden Death Connection to a steel cage tag match at Robblemania 22!
SUPERBEASTO(accepting the mic from Chris): You pendejos have disrespected us for the last time!(passes the mic back to Chris)
CHRIS: I know I'm taking a major risk, but I also know that the Sudden Death Connection are a bunch of punks who need to be taken down and taken down HARD. So enjoy your careers while you've got 'em, boys-- they'll be over sooner than you think.(brief pause) And one more thing....Rebel Express, next week on Havoc we're going to run you pathetic rednecks out of RDCW once and for all!
Chris tosses the mic to James White and is about to lead his fellow Outcasts back to the locker room area when....
Last edited by Chris Oakley; 2006-03-04 1:15 PM.
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Posts: 5,000
5000+ posts
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5000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,000 |
*"Detroit Rock City" blasts over the speakers and the crowd erupts in cheer as PenWing walks onto the stage, mic in hand.*
You know, Oakers, I haven't had much of a reason to say anything lately, what with my recent... breakdown. But you, you haven't stopped running your mouth. You think teaming up with a beast will solve all your problems? You think having a body guard will prevent people from kicking your ass?
Well, I've got news for you, Oakers, you're wrong! You think you scare me? While you were fighting in tag, all I did was take on the Dark Lords on my own and live to tell the tale!
*Pops from the crowd.*
And do you want to know why I did it? It had nothing to do with Grimm. He only thought he was pulling the strings. But while he was, and still is, running around with his ex, I was out proving that I belonged in the greatest division to ever grace the world of wrestling. Because "why" isn't the question, Oakers. Y is the answer!
*More pops from the crowd.*
You want to know what the Y Division is, Oakers? The Y Division is where the real men go to fight, and I notice that none of your names are on the invite!
*The crowd cheers. Oakley looks livid in the ring, but El Superbeasto calms him down.*
So let me be the first to invite you to your ass kicking ceremony. You want a steel cage match? Fine. In two weeks, if you still have those titles, all three of you can have your steel cage match on Tuesday Night Havoc. And it will be against Captain LameBitch and DeadThing, better known as the former tag team champions Captain Sammitch and PenWing, of the SDC!
*The crowd chants "SDC! SDC! SDC!"*
You wanted the Sudden Death Connection to notice you, Oakers? Be careful what you wish for, because it just came true!
*PenWing tosses his mic to floor and walks backstage as "Detroit Rock City" blasts over the speakers.*
Last edited by PenWing; 2006-02-28 7:04 PM.
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Camera follows Chris and Superbeasto out of the ring as they go after the SDC.PenWing and his teammmates immediately turn to face them,and quicker than you can "Pier 6 brawl" a full-fledged riot has erupted at ringside
MONROE(off-camera): The Sudden Death Connection and the Outcasts are going to war! 
LOUIE(off-camera): We knew it had to happen sooner or later, Monroe!
MONROE(off-camera): Captain Sammitch is trading punches with El Superbeasto!
LOUIE(off-camera): Get 'im, big guy! Show that punk what the Giant Lucahdore's all about!
MONROE(off-camera): El Superbeasto nailing Killconey with the Chokeslam to Oblivion, and Chewy Walrus retaliates with the Walrus Wallop on the Giant Luchadore--OOH! Chris Oakley delivers a perfect savate kick on Chewy!
LOUIE(off-camera): Hahahaha! Looks like Sudden Death's about to get DISconnected!
MONROE(off-camera): Superbeasto and Chris Oakley are ganging up on PenWing...
LOUIE(off-camera): Face it, Monroe, SDC's days are numbered!
MONROE(off-camera): Not so fast, Louie! PenWing just clocked Superbeasto with Chris' RDCW tag team belt....and now Captain Sammitch nails Chris with a Sammitch Spin!
LOUIE(off-camera):  Cheap shot! That's a cheap shot!
MONROE(off-camera): Not nearly as cheap as the ones Chris and his Outcast buddies have subjected the SDC to....and here comes Meeko with RDCW security to restore order!
LOUIE(off-camera): Some broads just don't know when to mind their own business.
MONROE(off-camera): Arena security is restraining PenWing and Chris--folks, you can be sure that there's going to be a lot of bad blood between the SDC and the Outcasts in the days leading up that tag team match on Havoc!!!
We can hear Chris yelling "Nobody questions my manhood and gets away with it!" as the camera fades to a commercial for Robblemania 22.
Last edited by Chris Oakley; 2006-03-04 1:42 PM.
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Posts: 28,009
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009 |
Captain Howdy, Doc Mid-Nite, and MisterJLA are backstage, walking back to their locker room when Joe Mama catches up with them. He grabs MisterJLA by the shoulder and spins him so the II members of the IV are nose-to-nose.JM: I said I was ready for my comments, "pal". JLA: Sorry, "buddy". I just figured that we said everything that needed to be said. There wasn't much need for any "managerial wisdom", "Chief". JM: Oh...well, then, nevermind...GAYLORD!!! The crowd can be heard making a collective "ooooooooooooooooooooooooh!!!" sound. MisterJLA's eyes bulge as a look of rage comes over his face. Because nothing - and I mean NOTHING - trumps "gaylord"!!!DMN: Guys, why don't we settle things out of the public eye... CH: Yeah, yeh cunts! Reel this Brokeback moment in! We got matches to ready for! JLA: You guys go ahead. Me and our kinda-sorta-"when he feels like it"-type manager will hash things out right now. JM: Go 'head, guys. This won't take too long... The other II members of the IV slowly walk to their locker room (off-camera). A door can be heard opening and then, moments later, closing. MisterJLA and Joe Mama are still staring each other down.JLA: "Gaylord"...dammit, that was a low blow! What's going on with you? One week you're in my corner, making sure we come away with the victory. The next week you're nowhere - man - to be seen! Do you realize how bad that makes us look? How grim(m) our title hopes are right now? You make each member of the IV look like a (Spandex) Monkey...man! JM: Are you done? JLA: No I'm not done! If you're gonna be a part of this team, you need to step up and represent! You're either strong like an chris oakley, or you're just another King Snarf wannabe! And who needs that around here? Joe Mama snarls...JM: Did you just call me a King Snarf wannabe? JLA: Well...you called me a "gaylord". JM: Listen, I told you that I'm on the shelf. I back you any way I can. Every damn way I can. Not just by being ringside. Not just by working out strategies. While I'm supposedly nowhere - man - to be found, I've been working behind the scenes to ensure your Heavyweight victory and to make sure that Howdy and Mid-Nite bring home some gold as well. JLA: Oh really...how? JM: Let's just say that I've been in talks with a real war PIG...a true man of IRON...to bring him to our side. Someone who's championship caliber. A true competitor where there a DeARTH of real greatness. JLA: Are we gonna keep doing that? JM: Doing what? JLA: Dropping names to get cheap pops. JM: I have no clue what you're talking about. Both men stare directly at the camera.JLA: C'mon...let's go get a sandwich, captain. JM: I think you mean, "C'mon, Captain, let's go grab a Sammich." JLA: Dammit! JM: Never you mind, li'l buckaroo. You'll get the hang of it. Hell, I'll make you a World Champion AND a cunning linguist! JLA: Chesty would like that...  JM: Let's go work out strategy with the guys. This is gonna be a big night for the IV. That I promise... The two men walk off camera towards the locker room.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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1000+ posts
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The camera cuts to the mWo locker room. SPAMM has a shooting stick and is wearing a huge fake moustache. Chevy has a helmet on, and ZOD has painted his face in camo piant. Syxxty is wearing camo lingerie
SPAMM: Now men, tonight we launch Operation: Title. I need not tell you, this is perhaps the most important mission in our LIVES. It's objective: helping me rretain the Big Cheese Belt!
SPAMM whacks the Big Cheese Belt for emphasis, and breaks the shooting stick. He looks at it for a second, then fligns it over his shoulder
SPAMM: I need not remind you, men, that this is perhaps the most difficult stage of the whoel mission. Tonight I face Grimm and Nowhereman. But are we afraid? NO!! Even though they could beat, pummel, slam, mangle, eviscerate, eradicate and otherwise destroy us! They could reduce us to bloody, mangled, barely alive hunks of meat begging for mercy, and even then they would merely laugh as they ripped the still-beating hearts from our bodies and devoured them as we looked on in horror!
By this time, ZOD and Nova re looking more than slightly terrified, and Syxxty looks like she's going to puke.
SPAMM: To defeat such veritable Juggernauts of pain and destruction may sound like an impossible task, but I tell you we can do it, and we will do it! However, it may be that not all of us will make it through the night with our minds are bodies intact!
Nova: BROTHER...
SPAMM: Yes yes yes, I'm well aware that our minds aren't intact to begin with, Nova! That's what all those chair shots in ECW can do to a man! Chairs shots, need I remind you, that these two men inflicted! BUT...we have one thing they do not!
Syxxty-Nine: Er....what?
SPAMM: Simple! There are four of us and only two of them! If we team up two-to-one against them victory is assured!
Syxxty-Nine: But, boss? It's a steel cage match!
SPAMM: Well, in that case...I'M GONNA DIEEEEEEE!!!
The camera mixes back to the ring
OOK OOK ACK EEK!
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*A white limo pulls up to the Cheesedome...*
Monroe: Well now, who could this be?
Bastardo: That's what we pay Bookake to find out!
*The camera pans to Bukacki.*
B: Dis ees Bukake, Havoc numbah one annoncah! A limo has just pooled up to the Cheesedome. Bukake ees waiting to see who ees heah!
*The door opens, and loud boos are heard throughout the Cheesedome as the Reverend Willie Williams steps out of the limo. In a very gentlemanly manner, Reverend Williams helps Princess Elisa out of the limo.*
B: Eet ees the Reverend Willie Williams and Princess Elisa! Reverend, do you have any comments on the match tonight?
RWW: You want mah comments on the match tonight? Forget the match tonight! The pure hearted Princess Elisa will win the match tonight, you can be assured of that! But last week... What happened last week cannot and will not be tolerated! A former officah of the law acting in that mannah... She has insulted mah honor, and the honor of every soul in this business, in this building, and watching at home on TV! No sir, that type of behavior will not be tolerated, evah!
B: Princess Elisa, tonight in your match with Lor, there is one question on everyone's mind... What color thong are you wearing tonight?
*Princess Elisa gasps and smacks Bookaki across the face as she turns shades of red.*
RWW: Why ah nevah! Young man, how dare you insult the pure hearted Princess Elisa's honor like that! This is gonna stop right now! Good day sir!
*Reverend Williams and Princess Elisa walk into the Cheesedome leaving Bookake alone in the parking lot. Off camera, someone starts to giggle seemingly uncontrollably.*
Monroe: Wait a minute, I know that giggle...
B: How was dat?
*Lor steps out of the shadows and walks seductively over to Boockaki. She drapes an arm around him and stuffs a hundred dollar bill into the front of his pants.*
Lor: <in a very sexy tone> Honey, that was amazing!
*Lor gives Buckacki a peck on the cheek and skips off humming.*
B: Dis is Boockahki, Havoc numbah one annoncah, reporting!
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1
living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
"Cemetary Gates" cues up as the CheeseDome goes dark and Grimm heads down to ringside. He steps into the ring, mic in hand. The crowd response is mixed, as though the fans are unsure what to think after recent events.
Grimm: Well, it seems as if the closer we get to RobbleMania, the rowdier it gets here in RDCW. And that's just the way I like it!
Because you see, as the Dark Days continue to grow and spread across the landscape of the RDCW, no one can remain unaffected. Despite what people such as the Sudden Death Connection, The Four, or Nowhereman may tell you on the surface, no one can come into close contact with the Dark Lords and remain unaffected.
PenWing, you got just a little taste of the darkness inside, and it sent you careening into madness. You tell these people what you want, but we know the truth. I've looked into your eyes.
Joe Mama, you tell your cronies whatever you feel like when you can manage to work up the testicular fortitude to step into this arena, but everyone can see you haven't been the same since clashing with me. The darkness lives inside you both and festers in your souls.
As for Nowhereman, I have to hand it to you. During our match at the Randy Rumble, it was if the clouds parted for one brief, shining, moment and we were transported back in time. It was if the old Nowhereman still existed: kicking ass and forgetting about the names.
Even I was stunned at the apparition that seemed to stand before me. And I'll give it to you, I didn't think you still had it in you. But for one night, you were the man again.
However, it seems that much like rumors of your love life, you just can't seem to keep it up for very long! The Nowhereman I used to know would never have lost the title to Spandex Monkey Man! A guy you used to annihilate on a nightly basis in ECW! You see, Nowhereman, the Darkness lives inside you a well. It rots away at you, and the thought of what I would do to you in this cage match tonight, was obviously too much for you to handle!
Next item of business on the list. . .the aforementioned Spandex Monkey Man! Now, Spamm, I've been most generous with you for the last month or so. I've tolerated this little MWO that you've built up around yourself. Hell, I even let you hold onto the title after you beat Nowhereman last week.
But enough is enough. The fun and games are over. I am demanding that you walk out here and surrender to me what is rightfully mine: The RDCW World Heavyweight Championship. You have until main event time, Spamm. I know you're in the back right now with your little friends, playing games. Well, this is your only warning. Give me MY belt, Spamm. Or suffer the consequences.
Abandon all hope.
Grimm slams the mic down in the middle of the ring as he walks out to the booes of the crowd.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 46
25+ posts
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Posts: 46 |
*As Grimm approaches the top of the ramp, the lights in the Cheesedome go out. Lightning strikes the ring posts and a red glow rises from the ground as the "Imperial March" begins to play over the speakers. Darth rises from beneath the ring. He is fully cloaked with mic in hand.*
Grimm...
You dare to come out here and demand a fellow Dark Lord to surrender to you? A Dark Lord who did what you could not! This is not the Darkness of which we speak... this is disgrace!
Spandex Monkey Man, Da Monkey Guy, or whatever he chooses to call himself will not be relinquishing any title to you tonight, or ever! If it is gold that you so desire, you will earn it. If it is truly yours, then no one will be able to keep it from you.
But if you continue down this path, Grimm... We began the Dark Lords, and I have settled my differences with one of our brothers in this ring. Do not think for a moment that I will hesitate to settle my differences with you in the same manner!
Tonight, the Dark Lords battle, and tonight, the RDCW will truly feel the darkness of these days!
Grimm: First of all, I demand anything I damn well please! You're one to come out here and talk about disgrace! You've been disgracing us for months with the losing streak you've been on!
You want to just pop in here whenever you feel like it and stick your nose into my business? You better be prepared to pay the price!
*Lightning strikes the ring posts and red glow sinks to the ground as the "Imperial March" plays over the speakers. Darth kneels and sinks beneath the ring as the ring is enveloped in darkness. A moment later, the lights return, and both Dark Lords are gone.*
Last edited by Louie Bastardo; 2006-03-06 5:57 PM.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Mid-Nite (20%, 2 Votes)
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Darth (30%, 3 Votes)
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Sammitch (C) (50%, 5 Votes)
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I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Falls Count Anywhere
World Tag Team Titles
Outcasts (C) vs. Homeland Security
John Philip Sousa's "Stars & Stripes Forever" blared from the Cheesedome PA system as G-man and Wannabuyamonkey rolled down to ring in a World War II-vintage Jeep decked out in red,white,and blue trunks with Reagan T-shirts.
LOUIE BASTARDO: How corny can you get?
MIKE "THE MOUTH" MONROE: You may not agree with their politics, Louie, but you've got to love their entrances!
G-man picked up the mic and was about to address the crowd when Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law" started playing and the Outcasts hit the ring,attacking Homeland Security like rabid pit bulls; El Superbeasto delivered a wicked DDT on WBAM just two minutes into the match.
LOUIE: Yeah, baby, yeah! The Giant Luchadore's kickin' ass as always!
MONROE: No wonder Oakley wanted him as his tag partner--this guy's a freakin' war machine!
As if on cue, Superbeasto hurled G-Man and Wbam against the guard railing! Chris set up a ringside table between the railing and the ring apron as the Giant Luchadore climbed onto the apron!
Monroe: He's not gonna. . .
Bastardo: He is! Homeland Security's laid out on the table!
Superbeasto delivered a massive Giantsault, crashing through the table and sending all three men onto the floor!
Fans: RDCW! RDCW! RDCW! RDCW!
Oakley picked up G-Man and began walking him down the aisle leading to the backstage area. The brawl continued through the locker rooms,the concessions,and even at one point the Cheesedome parking lot. Halfway through the match,the momentum shifted in Homeland Security's favor as G-man caught Oakley off-guard and nailed him with a powerslam near the remote broadcast van;just as the challengers were getting ready to execute their signature Right Winger finisher,however, Superbeasto interrupted with multiple Giant Headbutts, sending the neocons reeling.
MONROE: What the hell is this?
LOUIE: El Superbeasto stickin' up for his partner, like a good teammate should!
Chris hit WBAM with a pair of brass knucks while Superbeasto dropped a Giant Elbow on G-Man on the floor! Following up, Chris and Superbeasto set G-man up for the Odd Man Out.
MONROE: This is carnage!
LOUIE: More like poetic justice!
Chris and Superbeasto executed the Odd Man Out on G-man,and the ref counted 1-2-3 to end the match.
LOUIE: Chalk up another sensastion victory for the RDCW world tag team champions!
MONROE: With a little help from brass knuckles, of course!
LOUIE: Everything's legal in a Falls Count Anywhere match, Monroe!
MONROE: Hey, what are they up to...(camera follows Chris and Superbeasto back to ringside)I don't believe it! They're stealing Homeland Security's personal jeep!
LOUIE: I love it! The boys are takin' home a little combat trophy!
On their way out of the Cheesedome,the Outcasts briefly paused in front of the camera to deliver short personal messages to the Rebel Express and the Sudden Death Connection.
CHRIS: James Not-so-fantastic, next week the Outcasts are going to rip you and your Rebel Express buddies apart like wet paper! And when we're done with them, you SDC punks are going down permanently!
SUPERBEASTO(raising his fist):Viva Los Outcasts!
With that,the reigning RDCW tag team champions sped off into the night in their stolen jeep;when G-man and WBAM finally came to their senses and realized that their ride was missing,they went berserk,vowing to destroy the Outcasts if it was the last thing they ever did.
MONROE: Chris and Superbeasto don't seem to give a damn that they're making a lot of enemies in RDCW...
LOUIE: Why should they? They own the tag team division and they know it!
With that,the camera to Pig Iron's dressing room as he got ready for his match against Dr. Paragon.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Hair vs. Hair Match
Pig Iron vs. Dr. William Paragon
Pig Iron finished off Paragon with a massive Pork U, dead center in the middle of the ring and got the three count! Schwarz grabbed the electric razor and brought it into the ring where she and PI began immediately shaving Paragon's head!
PI cut off Paragon's hair while Schwarz grabbed the loose pieces and tossed them around in the air playfully!
But no sooner had PI finished cutting Paragon's hair than Rev. Willie and Elisa returned, pulling Paragon out of the ring and covering up his now bald head!
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Evening Gown Match
Meeko/Stareena/Butterrican vs. Harleykwin/Heidi Schwarz/Chesty LeRou
History repeated itself as Schwarz produced several pairs of handcuffs from within her cleavage and the Dark Ladies cuffed their opponents to the ropes before stripping them and winning the match!
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Gauntlet Match
Y Division Title
Amuck vs.PenWing vs.Johnny Evil vs. Killconey vs. James Fantastic vs. Charlie vs. Pariah vs. Jeremy vs. PCG342 vs. Zod vs. Chevy Nova vs. Big T vs. Chewy Walrus vs. Rex vs.Fused
The Gauntlet for the first ever Y Division title kicked off with the unpredictable, reckless, Amuck squaring off against PenWing! These two high flyers took it to a new level as the fans cheered in appreciation! Johnny Evil was next to the ring and a three way brawl ensued before he and Amuck began to double team the former Big Cheese Champion! Killconey was out next to even the score and eliminated Johnny Evil with an enziguiri that sent him flying over the top rope!
PenWing and Killconey then turned their attention to Amuck, but Amuck eliminated Killconey! James Fantastic hit the ring next and the trio tore the house down before the Million $ Pitbull, Charlie entered the match and went to work on all three men! Charlie seemed unstoppable, eliminating Pariah, Rex, and PCG moments after they hit the ring, but the Pitbull was caught off guard with a Spin-O-Rama as PenWing eliminated him from the match!
Zod and Chevy Nova were the next participants as a huge "MWO!" chant went up from the crowd! Fantastic and PenWing hit dueling superkicks, eliminating the MWO members early on! Amuck tried to take advantage, but a double hiptoss sent the reckless masked man to the floor!
Big T was out next and the Rebel Express worked over PenWing until "TNT" blared and Chewy Walrus hit the ring a house afire! He brawled with Big T, before a massive Walrus Wallop sent the big man out to the floor! Chewy beat his chest to a thunderous ovation as Rex tried to eliminate him, but a Tusk and another Walrus Wallop eliminated Rex!
Fused didn't fare much better, as the last two men were Chewy and PenWing and both competitors sized each other up. They finally went at it and the fans erupted as the match went to and fro! Finally, Chewy managed to eliminate PenWing to become the first ever Y Division Champion!
After the match, Chewy and PenWing shook hands, but both men were attacked by a returning Amuck, who again moonsaulted Chewy through a table! PenWing managed to recover long enough to chase Amuck off, but the damage had been done!
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Three Way Match
Inter-Cunt-Inental Title
Captain Sammitch (C) vs. Darth vs. Doc. Mid-Nite
Joe Mama came down to ringside and joined Louie and Mike at the announcers' table right before the start of the match. The three combatants entered the ring and immediately began hammering away at one another. After a brief opening skirmish, Doc Mid-Nite went right after Captain Sammitch as Darth looked on from the corner, waiting for a good opportunity to strike. Mid-Nite whipped Sammitch into the corner and charged after him, but the speedy Sammitch dodged out of the way just in time for Mid-Nite to collide with the turnbuckle. Mid-Nite staggered back, winded, and Darth picked that moment to go after him as Sammitch ducked out of the way and headed over to the far corner. Darth executed his Concussion Missile (missile dropkick), and Mid-Nite toppled to the mat as Darth went for the cover!
Louie: This could be it! We could have a new champion!
Darth covered, but Doc Mid-Nite kicked out after a quick two-count!
Joe: Better not count him out just yet, Louie!
Mid-Nite got to his feet as Darth propelled himself off the ropes for The Omen (running DDT) and charged into the Sith Lord's path. Just as Darth prepared to attack, Mid-Nite grabbed his arm and whipped him back in the other direction! Darth stumbled, off balance, and grabbed the only nearby object to steady himself - Captain Sammitch! Darth regained his balance and whipped Sammitch into the ropes, then prepared to pummel him on the rebound. But as Darth waited for Sammitch to arrive, Mid-Nite came up from behind and tried to lock Darth up for the Lights Out (Cobra Clutch). Rebounding off the ropes, Sammitch had been readying himself to reverse whatever move Darth was lining up, but Mid-Nite's last-second move threw him off, and Sammitch plowed into the tangled grapplers, sending all three to the mat!
Monroe: Buhgawb!
Louie: It's a slaughterhouse!
Lothar began counting to ten, and by the time he got to three, nobody had even twitched...
Monroe: All three men could be out cold!
The crowd began getting anxious. Mixed cheering began spreading throughout the Cheesedome, and chants for Sammitch and Mid-Nite started up. A replay showed Sammitch throwing up both arms to protect his head and Mid-Nite shoving Darth forward to use him as a human shield...
Joe: Holy shit! Lookit that!
The replay continued, and it showed Darth's head being slammed between Sammitch's forearm and Mid-Nite's elbow, then snapping back to reverse-headbutt Mid-Nite across the nose.
Monroe: Looks like Darth's gonna have quite a headache!
Lothar had counted to seven, and Mid-Nite and Sammitch were finally struggling to their feet. The cheers intensified as Sammitch managed to haul himself upright first. Mid-Nite was still on his knees, blood gushing from his nose, but he was just about to stand when...
Louie: Darth's got him! Darth's got ahold of Mid-Nite!
Sure enough, the barely-conscious Darth had Mid-Nite's left arm in a vise grip!
Joe: What the hell is this?
Mid-Nite flailed at Darth with his free arm, trying to shake the Dark Lord off, but Darth wouldn't budge. The count reached ten, and Lothar signaled for the bell as James White announced that Captain Sammitch had won the match by count-out!
Monroe: It's over! Captain Sammitch is still the Inter-Cunt-inental Champion!
The crowd cheered as Captain Sammitch - still barely able to walk - slid out of the ring and headed over to the announcer's table to retrieve the IC title belt.
Louie: What the hell kind of a match was that?
Joe: What a fucking travesty!
Joe started to grab for the IC belt before Sammitch could get it, but Mike Monroe snatched it away and handed it to Captain Sammitch. In the ring, a furious Doc Mid-Nite was raining punches on Darth. As blood dripped from Mid-Nite onto the incoherent Darth, the Sith Lord let out a maniacal cackle as Mid-Nite continued to flail away at him. Chewy Walrus came down the ramp to assist Sammitch, and the Y Division champion helped the IC champion exit the ring as chaos reigned in the ring and at the announcer's table...
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Women's Booby Title
Lor (C) vs. Princess Elisa
Elisa used her extensive knowledge of technical moves (and liberal amounts of interference from Rev. Willie!) to attempt to weaken Lor and lock in Absolution! However, the manic Women's Booby Champion used her wiles to keep just one step ahead of her challenger the whole time!
Rev. Willie attempted to climb into the ring but got a Punch & Judy for his troubles that sent him out to the floor! Elisa went to lock in Absolution, but Lor reversed into a short arm clothesline and hit a Last Laugh, setting up another Punch & Judy for the challenger, and getting the three count!
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Triple Double Decker Cage Match
RDCW World Heavyweight Title
Spandex Monkey Man (C) vs. Grimm vs. Nowhereman
Early on, this match resembled an ECW encounter, as the former Hellions took turns working over the MWO leader and new RDCW Champion, Spandex Monkey Man. Spamm took quite a beating but refused to quit, even delivering a couple of quick Monkey Ts to his opponents from the turnbuckles!
But it just wasn't to be this night, and a quick double chokeslam eliminated the Monkey Man from the match!
afterwards, Grimm and Nowhereman turned their attention back towards each other as they each made use of the three tiered cage structure to batter one another past normal human endurance!
Grimm seemed to have things in control after a devastating Triple 6 Bomb that sent Nowhereman crashing through the second cage and into the ring!
Grimm jumped down into the ring and looked ready to regain the title when he paused and hit his crucifix pose mid ring!
But red lights began to glare throughout the CheeseDome as the Imperial March played and Grimm looked around for Darth!
The fans exploded as Darth erupted from beneath the ring and sprayed Hellfire directly into Grimm's face! Grimm staggered around as Darth picked him up and delivered a Sabreslam before disappearing back beneath the ring!
Both men were down and out and Lothar began counting. Finally, Nowhereman managed to recover and hit a quick Slammin Gladys for the pinfall and his second RDCW title!
I make stars, baby!
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