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Havoc opens with a shot of Mike Monroe and Louie Bastardo at ringside.
Mike: Well, Louie, tonight is the night! MisterJLA will have his contract signing with the new World Champion, Nowhereman for RobbleMania!
Bastardo: That's right, and you know what el--
Monroe: Hang on, we've got word that something's happening outside!
Camera cuts to the Cheesedome parking lot where we see Homeland Security's personal Jeep pull into a spot near the backstage door. The camera pans down to the Jeep's hood,where we notice that G-man's and Wannabuyamonkey's names have been replaced with those of Chris Oakley and El Superbeasto. The reigning RDCW world tag team champions climb out of the Jeep and strut into the locker room area,looking like they haven't got a care in the world.
SUPERBEASTO: Ah, amigo, I am looking forward to tonight's match against the Rebel Express...
CHRIS(laughing): Tonight's ASS-KICKING of the Rebel Express, you mean. And I can't wait for Robblemania 22-- the day we put a stake in the Sudden Death Connection's heart once and for all.
The door to the Outcasts' dressing room closes and the camera fades to the opening montage for this week's Havoc.
Darth / Pig Iron (50%, 6 Votes)
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Allied Powers (50%, 6 Votes)
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Rex / Pariah (33%, 4 Votes)
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Johnny Evil / Big Fat Elvis (67%, 8 Votes)
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Team OC (25%, 3 Votes)
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Crotch / Buhkakkee (75%, 9 Votes)
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Rebel Express (17%, 2 Votes)
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Outcasts (C) (83%, 10 Votes)
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PenWing (42%, 5 Votes)
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Chewy Walrus (C) (58%, 7 Votes)
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I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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Posts: 5,813 |
Camera fades to a hallway near the Cheesedome locker room area;we see Joey Biles standing next to the Outcasts,who are both wearing T-shirts with the inscription "5-0" on the front and pictures of Los Cazadores,the Tuesday Night Rockers,Team OC,Homeland Security,and the Rebel Express on the back.
JOEY: I'm here right now with the reigning RDCW World Tag Team Champions,Chris Oakley and El Superbeasto--otherwise known as the Outcasts. Gentlemen,let me start by observing that those are very interesting shirts you're wearing...
CHRIS: Not just interesting,Joey,historic. The Giant Luchadore and I had these custom-made to commemorate our impending victory over and final destruction of the Rebel Express.
JOEY: Aren't you guys putting the cart before the horse?
SUPERBEASTO(glaring through his mask at Joey): Certainly not,Senor Biles!! Every team that has tried to stop us, we have squashed them like little cucarachas!!! And it will be no different tonight with the Rebel Express!!!
JOEY: At Robblemania 22, you guys have a steel cage match against the Sudden Death Connection, and on top of that you stole G-man's Jeep at the end of your match against Homeland Security last week. Aren't you worried that one or both of those teams might try to interfere in your match with the Rebel Express tonight?
CHRIS: Bring 'em on, Joey. The mark of all truly great teams in sports is their ability to perservere in the face of long odds....and the Outcasts have that ability in spades.
SUPERBEASTO(raising his fists): Viva Los Outcasts!
JOEY(as Chris and Superbeasto walk off-camera): Back to Louie and Monroe at ringside!
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Darth / PI (29%, 2 Votes)
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Allied Powers (71%, 5 Votes)
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I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
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T.I.T.s Match
Allied Powers vs. Darth and Pig Iron
Pig Iron and Schwarz hit the ring first, soon followed by Darth and Chesty. The two seemed to stare at each other for a moment, wondering if they could indeed still trust the other.
Soon, the opening strands of Duane Eddy's "Trembler" cued up as the massive IV symbol flashed on the Cheese-O-Tron, followed by Rob's Killer Instinct RipOff Music as Joe Mama lead the Allied Powers down to ringside. After conferring with his charges for a moment, JM took a seat in the broadcast booth next to Louie and Mike.
JM: Tonight, the IV continue their dominance of the T.I.T.s!
Bastardo: You love T.I.T.s, don'tcha, champ?
JM: Everyone in the IV loves T.I.T.s, Louie. But all seriousness aside, if JLA and Howdy follow the plan we laid out earlier tonight, there's no way they can lose!
JLA and Darth started the match as they picked up where they left off months ago, with Darth hurling JLA around the ring like a pinball! After a test of strength, Darth shoved JLA back into his own corner where JLA made the tag to Howdy!
Cautiously, Howdy stepped into the ring and motioned for Pig Iron to do the same! PI agreed and the two hardcore veterans began a wicked brawl while JLA waved to Chesty from the ring apron.
JM: Forget her, JLA! Think about the match!
JLA soon began stalking Chesty around ringside, but was caught offguard as Darth hit a running axehandle off the apron that sent JLA into the ring barrier!
Monroe: Buhgawb! Was that part of your plan, Joe?
JM: No, it damn sure wasn't! Get your head right, JLA!
Howdy and PI soon joined the outside brawl as all four men fought on the rampway! Schwarz tried to use her nightstick, but was intercepted by Joe Mama, who'd gotten up from the booth!
JM took Schwarz' nightstick and walked her back down to ringside where he rolled her into the ring and followed her in with it!
Monroe: What's he gonna do?
Bastardo: He's gonna put her in her place!
PI followed them back into the ring and began tearing into Joe with repeated punches as Schwarz took off out of the ring! JLA caught PI from behind with an elbow to the back of the head and then turned him around for a Final Justice!
Monroe: Buhgawb! That's gotta hurt!
Bastardo: It's over! Look!
JLA and Howdy then set PI up for the Allied Bombing! They hit the move and got the three count on Pig Iron! Joe Mama and the Powers celebrated in the ring afterward!
Bastardo: They followed the plan, Monroe! They won!
Monroe: Where is his partner? Where's Darth?!
Bastardo: Look on the rampway!
As the cameras cut to the rampway, we see Darth laid out cold on the ramp. Grimm stands over him, holding a steel chair with a massive dent in it. Grimm tosses the chair to the side and pulls a towel and a small bottle out of his jacket. He pours the contents of the bottle onto the towel and begins wiping away Darth's face paint!
Monroe: What is he doing?
The camera focuses as Grimm lifts Darth's head up, only small flecks of paint still visible.
Grimm: You're no Dark Lord! You're not "Darth"! You're just another one of these humanoids out here! At RobbleMania, I'll prove it once and for all!
I make stars, baby!
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T.I.T.s Match
Johnny Evil and Big Fat Elvis vs. Rex and Pariah
Rex and Pariah stormed the ring and tore into their foes with reckless abandon! Johnny and BFE fought back, with all they had, but BFE was soon caught in Pariah's Groin Claw!
Lothar signaled to break the move, but Pariah ignored him repeatedly. Finally, after several attempts, Lothar disqualified Pariah and his partner! But the match didn't end there, as Rex brought Johnny Evil out to the floor and delivered his Wet Sprocket maneuver, dropping Evil headfirst onto the floor!
Evil's valet, Ariel screamed in horror as EMTs made their way down to check on the Evil One.
Monroe: Johnny Evil may be seriously hurt, here, fans!
Bastardo: This is a tragedy! How can Charlie and BFE win the T.I.T.s if their partner is injured?
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
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300+ posts
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T.I.T.s Match
The Crotch and Bookahhkii vs. Team OC
The Crotch and Bokkacke stood in the ring awaiting their foes as Team OC's Powerman 5000 theme music kicked up. After several moments of waiting, Joey OC and Faarooq OC stumbled through the curtains and out onto the rampway, with the World Tag Team Champions, the Outcasts following quickly behind!
Monroe: The Outcasts are taking the fight to Team OC!
Bastardo: Good move! Get 'em while they're not ready for it!
Backstage cameras showed Christine OC laid out on the hood of the Outcasts' jeep, as Chris and Superbeasto stacked up several tables to the side of the rampway and placed both members of Team OC on top of them! Superbeasto climbed up onto the rampway and hit a standing Giantsault off of it, slamming himself and Team OC through the tables!
Monroe: Buhgawb! They've just eliminated Team OC!
Bastardo: Nobody gets over on the Outcasts, Monroe! 
Lothar awarded the match to the interviewers as they left the ring cackling with glee.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
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World Tag Titles
Outcasts (C) vs. Rebel Express
"Through The Fire And Flames" erupted from the Cheesedome PA speakers as the Rebel Express began making their way to the ring with manager Arnold Judas Rimmer in tow.They were halfway down the ring when the camera panned to something unusual poking through the curtains....
LOUIE BASTARDO: What the heck is that?
MONROE: I'm not sure, Louie, but I can hear a motor running somewhere close by...
Seconds later,the RDCW world tag team champions drove down the aisle in their stolen Jeep,barreling towards the challengers like a runaway locomotive.AJR was forced to jump into the crowd while James Fantastic and Big T barely managed to make it into the ring...
MONROE: I don't believe it! The Outcasts just tried to run down the Rebel Express!
LOUIE: Turnabout's fair play, Monroe-- the Rebel Express has tried to destroy Chris more times than you can count, and they've been after the Giant Luchadore for years!
Seriously thrown off their game plan, the Express tried to put up a good fight, but the champs had too much momentum going in their favor. Superbeasto chokeslammed James Fantastic through the timekeeper's table at one point, and not long before that Chris had done what many thought was impossible by delivering the Red Alert on Big T. But for the challengers the worst was yet to come....
LOUIE: Booyah! Here comes my favorite part!
MONROE: Chris and Superbeasto have got James Fantastic set up...and there's the Odd Man Out! 1--2--3! The Outcasts have retained the RDCW world tag team titles!
LOUIE: Way to go, champs!
As the Cheesedome crowd booed the champions, Chris decided to put an exclamation point on the Outcasts' triumph. He hauled AJR out of the stands and nailed him with the Red Alert, then stole Big T's hat right off his head while T was conscious; with that, the champs got out of Dodge.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
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300+ posts
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Y Division Title
Chewy Walrus (C) vs. PenWing
Mike Monroe: And now, the Y Factors!
Y: Chewy Walrus: Dominant! Since his return to the RDCW, Chewy Walrus has been a dominant competitor in every division he's participated in! He's won the Hardcore Porn title, he's in the semifinals of the T.I.T.s next week, and he won the inaguaral Y Division Gauntlet to become the first ever Y Division Champ!
Y:The Sudden Death Connection: When PenWing seemed to lose his way for several months, it was his teammates in the SDC, including Chewy, who helped him get himself back together and helped train him for his entrance in the new Y Division!
Y: The Gauntlet: Chewy and PenWing were the last two competitors left in the Gauntlet match at No Way Out of the Closet. As such, the RDCW board decided that PenWing was entitled to the first shot at Chewy's belt!
Let's go to the ring!
"Detroit Rock City" cued up as PenWing made his way down first as the challenger. The fans chanted along as PW did his usual singalong promo as the crowd finished up with "Sudden Death Rules!"
Then "TNT" began to play as Y Division Champion Chewy Walrus made his way down to another thunderous ovation! Chewy hit the ring and he PW shook hands in a show of sportsmanship as Lothar ordered the match to start!
Chewy began the match attempting to use his power to negate PenWing's speed and agility, but PW attempted to stay ahead of the larger man for most of the match!
Late in the match, PW missed a Spin-O-Rama attempt, allowing Chewy to hit a thunerous Walrus Wallop! The exhausted Chewy fell on top of his foe for the pinfall and the match!
Lothar raised the exhausted Chewy's hand, but once again, Amuck hit the ring in an attempt to assault the Y Division champ!
Amuck tried to set Chewy up for a facebuster legdrop, but PW recovered and hit a Drag-N-Whip on the crazed competitor and followed up with a Sudden Death, sending Amuck out of the ring and to the floor!
I make stars, baby!
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Posts: 342
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Post deleted by Louie Bastardo
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
Post deleted by MisterJLA
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/blogban3.jpg) [/center] [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/jlamiska.jpg) [/center]
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Joined: Sep 2001
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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After a commercial for RobbleMania, the greatest PPV EVAR, the camera cuts to reveal the Cheesedome ring. In it, is a long table, covered with a regal-looking red cloth. There are two chairs at the table, along with a clipboard and two different penholders. thedoctor, and RDCW Legal Expert Dark Typhoid Dave are in the ring. doc is armed with a mic... Quote:
thedoctor: Ladies and gentlemen, here tonight we will all witness the historic contract signing for the Main Event at RobbleMania. Two old foes will slug it out for the World Title! First, the challenger, who won the right to compete in the Main Event by winning the Randy Rumble...under dubious circumstances, I might add...
Dark Typhoid Dave: But it was perfectly legal...
doctor:  Technically. Anyway: I present to you: The Number One Contender: MisterJLA.
Rob's Damn Killer Instinct Rip Off Theme Music plays, and The IV calmly walk down the aisle. JLA and Howdy are still in their wrestling gear, and look beat down by the effects of their T.I.T.S. match against the Dark Lords. Joe Mama and Doc. Mid-Nite are dressed in tailored suits, and look generally happy be there.
The IV enter the ring, and Joe Mama reaches in his suit coat, and produces a mic. JLA looks at him with a  look.
Quote:
Joe: What? I always carry one of these!
thedoctor: I'm glad I have a mic, too. And I don't remember inviting all of you for this event. It's just supposed to be JLA to sign the contract.
Joe Mama: Forget that. Where there is "I" of us, there's all of us!
thedoctor: Not at RobbleMania, there won't be. But I'll get to that in a moment. Now, let me introduce the reigning two-time RDCW World Heavyweight Champion, who just won the belt back in a glorious Triple Decker Cage Match, one of the guiding forces of the RDCW since its creation, a man who put the "Cunt" in the Inter-Cunt-ential Championship, the...
JLA: <whispering to Mid-Nite> Damn, why can't I get an intro like that?
Mid-Nite: Because thedoctor really doesn't like you.
JLA: I know. It was a rhetorical question.
Mid-Nite: Yeah...
thedoctor: <ending his rambling> Nowhereman!
Kickstart my heart by Motley Crue plays, and the crowd erupts for the World Champion! Nowhereman acknowledges the crowd by giving them the finger, and the crowd cheers him even more. He steps through the ropes with his Big Cheese belt in his hands, and JLA half-heartedly tries to attack him. The other members of The IV hold JLA back, but it appears that they don't have to try too hard...
Quote:
Bastardo: W H O A ! Someone restrain that wild man! He wants to drop Nowhereman right here and now!
Monroe: Please. 
While The IV compose themselves, Nowhereman throws the belt onto the table, and pulls up a chair. He rests his feet on the table, and leans back. After a few moments, JLA takes his seat, and Joe Mama, Captain Howdy, and Doc. Mid-Nite flank JLA on both sides.
Quote:
thedoctor: Now with that out of the way, The RDCW is proud to present, the official contract signing for The Main Event at RobbleMania! How can you witness this EPIC event? The Cheesedome has been sold out for months, but if you contact your local cable provider, you can watch all of RobbleMania in the comfort of your own home for the low price of...
JLA: <muttering to himself>Geez.
thedoctor: So ask for RobbleMania! Now then, here we have two rivals who know each other quite well. Nowhereman ended JLA's first run as Inter-Cunt-ential Champion, at SummerScam!
Not to be outdone, JLA won the belt back at Tuesday Night HAVOK...again, under dubious conditions. Right, Captain?
thedoctor shoots Captain Howdy a dirty look, but Howdy just shrugs his shoulders with an  look.
Quote:
JLA: Man, I got shit to do today. Let's just sign this bloody thing, and get on with it.
JLA scribbles his name on the contract attached to the clipboard, and then tosses it to Nowhereman. Nowhereman signs it, and then throws it to thedoctor.
Quote:
thedoctor: Perfect! So we're all set. A 60-minute Iron Man match for the World Title, with The IV banned from ringside! Terrific!
The crowd goes wild!
The camera cuts to a close-up of The IV, who are filled with outrage!
Quote:
JLA: What the fuck! 60 minutes! Sometimes I can't even go 60 seconds... I mean, I have some quick matches under my belt! I'm not the type of wrestler built for long matches! And I need my teammates there...for moral support!
thedoctor: Bollocks! There will be none of that! A 60-minute Iron Man match ensures that you won't walk away with the belt due to some fluke ending! You'll have to earn your victory. And with Howdy, Joe, and Mid-Nite, and Hell, Jeeves, too: with them banned from ringside, you won't be able to cheat like you did when you took the IC Belt from Nowhereman at HAVOK a few months ago! No, you're on your own this time!
Nowhereman starts to LOL, while JLA gets out of his seat and jumps around in a rage. The rest of The IV try their best to calm him down.
Quote:
Joe Mama: Sorry, bud. Look, I'll e-mail you a detailed plan on how to deal with this.
JLA: Oh, I bet! Let me guess, you'll send it tomorrow, right?
Joe Mama: Well...
Howdy: <Glaring at Nowhereman> Bloody cunt! I bet he was in on it! Screw thedoctor! I'll run-in anyway!
Mid-Nite: <Glaring at Nowhereman as well> I should break yo neck! Come to think of it, I will at RobbleMania, right when JLA needs me to!
thedoctor: And one more thing: If any of you appear at ringside, or interfere in anyway, you'll be banned: for life!
Camera shows Joe Mama, Howdy, and Mid-Nite slowly backing away from JLA...
Quote:
Mid-Nite: On second thought, maybe I'll just stay in the back. I wouldn't want to distract you or anything.
Joe Mama: RobbleMania is in April, right? Gosh, that's a busy time at work. I don't even know if I'll be free. Let me get back to you.
Howdy: You're on your own, wanker!
JLA seethes!
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Dark Typhoid Dave: <Holding the contract> I wrote this document, and have now notarized it. Everything's in order, doc.
thedoctor: Good! Gentlemen?
Security guards rush down to the ring, and escort JLA's teammates to the back.
Quote:
Joe Mama: <shouting> You *haven't* seen the last of me, Nowhereman!
Howdy: You've seen the last of me, gibbon! I taint getting banned for nobody!
thedoctor: JLA, Nowhereman, we're done here. I'll let you two have closing comments. Dave, let's go.
Dark Typhoid Dave and thedoctor leave the ring. JLA quivers in rage, standing near the table. Nowhereman is still leaning back in his chair, with his feet propped on the table.
Quote:
JLA: You're going to pay dearly at RobbleMania! I'm taking your belt! I'm taking your career! I'll do whatever it takes to win that match! I'll train like I've never trained before! I'll study all of your matches on film! I'll give up porn... well, maybe not that, but sacrifices will be made to guarantee that I'm focused and ready to win!
You're a joke of a World Champion! You lost that belt in your first title defense against a goofball like SPAMM, and now you're going to lose it to a real warrior like me at RobbleMania! You're finished! Months ago, I got your old partner and protégé, Captain Howdy to turn against you, and after our Iron Man match, all of your friends are going to disown you! I'm taking everything you have!
Nowhereman stays seated and doesn't flinch.
Quote:
JLA: Well? What do you have to say for yourself???
JLA whips the mic at his enemy, who catches it with one hand. Nowhereman pauses, and then finally speaks into the mic...
Quote:
Nowhereman: CUNT!
The crowd goes wild, and JLA smirks!
Quote:
Monroe: I don't like the looks of this!
JLA rushes the table, and flips it over, knocking Nowhereman down. JLA then searches for something.
Quote:
JLA: Damn it! Where is it? Where the FUCK is that sledgehammer! I specifically told Jeeves to plant that FUCKING thing!
JLA trips over the enormous cloth that was covering the table, but gets to his feet to restart his search.
JLA then freezes when he feels a tap on his shoulder.
Quote:
Nowhereman: Looking for this?
Nowhereman runs the sledgehammer into JLA's stomach! JLA is doubled over in pain, when Nowhereman grabs him by the throat, and delivers the...
Quote:
Monroe: Slammin Gladys! Slammin Gladys! Slammin Gladys!
Nowhereman does a mock cover and slams his hand on the mat three times, causing the crowd to cheer even louder. He then picks up his belt, and leaves the ring.
Quote:
Monroe: He just took JLA apart in under a minute!
Bastardo: Thank God for PJP! Uh, I meant Thank God it's a 60-minute Iron Man match after all!
Camera fades to black...
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