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It's been a long and storied tradition in the various DC L*/LSH/Legion boards to have an advice-column thread... and I don't recall seeing one here yet, so here it is.
Feel free to ask whomever (e.g., the LMB Enquirer, Amber/Umber, any specific poster, anyone in general) about anything you want!
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For example --
Dear Stu:
What's your favorite Kool-Aid flavor?
Sincerely,
Bev-Curious
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And so -- quote:
Originally posted by Stuey:
Dear Stu:
What's your favorite Kool-Aid flavor?
Sincerely,
Bev-Curious
Dear Mr. Nosy:
I don't ingest Kool-Aid, unless there's plenty o' liquor in it, in which case I don't really care what flavor it is.
Fondly,
Potent & Potable
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Well now I have to ask, what kind of liquor do you suggest for the Kool-Aid?
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I know this is not really directed at me, but vodka has GOT to be the way to go!
And none of the GOOD shit (Grey Goose, Belvedere, Ketel One, etc.)... either Popov of that stuff that comes in the plastic containers!
This reminds me of the big Grapedy-orange party where I and two of my chums made a BIG batch of orange mixed with grape kool-aid with the aforementioned plastic-jug vodka swill... what a night... on the trampoline...
But that doesn't even begin to compare with the big French Quarter Suites party in midtown Memphis where I downed an entire bottle of Skyy... that was a night to remember!
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quote:
Originally posted by Kat:
Well now I have to ask, what kind of liquor do you suggest for the Kool-Aid?
Dear Feline Friend:
Well now, that was just an example... I myself VERY RARELY imbibe alcohol. ![[who, me?]](graemlins/whome01.gif) *cough*
But, since you asked... VODKA. And lots of it!
P.S. Nice avatar, Kat! Who/what is it?
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quote:
Originally posted by Kid Prime:
I know this is not really directed at me, but vodka has GOT to be the way to go!
Great minds think alike!
quote:
Originally posted by Kid Prime:
But that doesn't even begin to compare with the big French Quarter Suites party in midtown Memphis where I downed an entire bottle of Skyy... that was a night to remember!
Do tell!
Er, I mean --
Dear Mr. Magnus:
Do tell?
Signed,
Curious in "Chiffon Towers"
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geez, nobody suggested cyanide or arsenic.
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quote:
Originally posted by googoomuck:
geez, nobody suggested cyanide or arsenic.
I understand that's very popular with Superman fans lately. We're happy happy here.
And how can anyone remember anything after downing a whole bottle of Skyy?
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quote:
Originally posted by googoomuck:
geez, nobody suggested cyanide or arsenic.
Dear googoomuck:
Which tooth is the best one to have filled with cyanide/arsenic/the poison of one's choice? (And how do you ensure that you don't inadvertently trigger it when you attempt to chew up some particularly tough walnuts?)
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From then on, Skyy was known in my circle of friends as "Jeff's Kryptonite." The last tihing I really remember was sitting in the hot tub with 2 of my friends, hands on both beople's knees (one male, one female..)
Later that morning, another I woke up and noticed that my underwear was down around my ankles. To this day, I have NO idea how they got there!
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quote:
Originally posted by Kid Prime:
From then on, Skyy was known in my circle of friends as "Jeff's Kryptonite." The last tihing I really remember was sitting in the hot tub with 2 of my friends, hands on both beople's knees (one male, one female..)
Later that morning, another I woke up and noticed that my underwear was down around my ankles. To this day, I have NO idea how they got there!
Dear KP:
Would you like some Skyy to wake you up this morning?
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Wow. I type like I talk when I stumble out of bed. Stuey... so long as you deliver it personally, it can be whatever kind of liquor you want!!! ![[cool]](images/icons/cool.gif) ![[humina humina]](graemlins/love.gif) :)
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"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker."
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Does this advice column need an intervention?
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quote:
Originally posted by Stuey:
quote:
Originally posted by Kat:
Well now I have to ask, what kind of liquor do you suggest for the Kool-Aid?
Dear Feline Friend:
But, since you asked... VODKA. And lots of it!
Dear Stude:
Nothing wrong with adding some Triple Sec as well.
Not that I would know anything about this.
Sincerely,
Long Island Iced TeeTotaler
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Dear Cecil Adams:
Is that a real name or a pseudonym? Are you one person, or a conglomeration of different people? And is answering esoteric questions really your "day job"?
Signed,
A Straight Dope
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Dear Mr. Stu-Monster,
What's the best way to get rid of grass stains from clothing?
Signed,
OMEGA-matt
P.S. Do you really have the power to make cats violently hurl just by touching the top of their precious lil' noggins? :lol:
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Dear Miss Debutante,
Ever run across any Polka records while thrift-shopping? I'm wicked crazy about Polka--- I once broke every piece of furniture in my home "rocking out" to a particularly good tune.
Signed,
"Rag-Store" Matt
P.S. True story: When I was 11 years old my mom bought me a pair of shorts from a Thriftshop (They called 'em "Rag Stores" here in Bumblefuck, KY back in those days, and my mom described her shopping excursions to these delightful emporiums as "goin' raggin'"--- for serious, if I'm lyin' I'm dyin'! :) ) for 50 cents, and in the left pocket was a $10 bill!!! Holy shit, I thought I had died and gone to Heaven--- ten bucks bought a lot of funnybooks and candy back in 1982!!! :)
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Dear Mr. Kid Prime,
Are you really as adorable and irresistable as you seem?
Signed,
OMEGA-lech
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Dear Mr. Cramer,
Please speak to us in sultry, sexy Latin again (but give me a chance to get my pants around my ankles first :lol: ).
Signed,
Matt
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quote:
Originally posted by Matt Kennedy:
Dear Mr. Stu-Monster,
What's the best way to get rid of grass stains from clothing?
Signed,
OMEGA-matt
P.S. Do you really have the power to make cats violently hurl just by touching the top of their precious lil' noggins? :lol:
Dear OMEGA,
Don't wear clothes when you're planning on coming into contact with grass.
P.S. Not "violently hurl." Gently, lovingly disgorge. But otherwise, yes.
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quote:
Originally posted by Matt Kennedy:
Dear Mr. Cramer,
Please speak to us in sultry, sexy Latin again (but give me a chance to get my pants around my ankles first :lol: ).
Signed,
Matt
"That's Ms. Cramer, if you're nasty."
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quote:
Originally posted by Kid Prime:
YES!
Ah-HA! I thought so. :)
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Dear Stuey: 1. For the record I'm absolutely clueless as to who/what my avatar is, she's a mystery ![[biiiig grin]](images/icons/grin.gif) At least that's the story I'm giving out. The real reason I picked her is because she's pretty and shiny, and I'm very easily distracted by shiny objects... maybe I should get that checked out. 2. Should I seek professional help and risk driving yet another therapist to the asylum, in a desperate attempt to cure my insane attraction to pretty, sparkly, shiny objects?
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quote:
Originally posted by Stuey:
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Kennedy:
Dear Mr. Stu-Monster,
What's the best way to get rid of grass stains from clothing?
Signed,
OMEGA-matt
P.S. Do you really have the power to make cats violently hurl just by touching the top of their precious lil' noggins? :lol:
Dear OMEGA,
Don't wear clothes when you're planning on coming into contact with grass.
P.S. Not "violently hurl." Gently, lovingly disgorge. But otherwise, yes.
Ah-HA! I thought so. :)
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quote:
Originally posted by Stuey:
quote:
Originally posted by googoomuck:
geez, nobody suggested cyanide or arsenic.
Dear googoomuck:
Which tooth is the best one to have filled with cyanide/arsenic/the poison of one's choice? (And how do you ensure that you don't inadvertently trigger it when you attempt to chew up some particularly tough walnuts?)
I was actually trying to refer to Jonestown where Kool_Aid was served.
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quote:
Originally posted by Matt Kennedy:
P.S. True story: When I was 11 years old my mom bought me a pair of shorts from a Thriftshop (They called 'em "Rag Stores" here in Bumblefuck, KY back in those days, and my mom described her shopping excursions to these delightful emporiums as "goin' raggin'"--- for serious, if I'm lyin' I'm dyin'! :) ) for 50 cents, and in the left pocket was a $10 bill!!! Holy shit, I thought I had died and gone to Heaven--- ten bucks bought a lot of funnybooks and candy back in 1982!!! :)
Aww, Matt - your mom probably put that $10 in there 'cause you were such a sweetie!
Amo te, Matteus. sed femina sum
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quote:
Originally posted by Kat:
Dear Stuey:
Should I seek professional help and risk driving yet another therapist to the asylum, in a desperate attempt to cure my insane attraction to pretty, sparkly, shiny objects?
Nah! It's not atypical for kats to be fond of such objects. :)
(Actually, that might make a good second-string Batman villain -- the one who's insanely attracted to pretty, sparkly, shiny objects. Hey, if you can have a guy who's obsessed with his ventriloquist's dummy and a gal who's obsessed with plants, why not?)
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quote:
Originally posted by googoomuck:
I was actually trying to refer to Jonestown where Kool_Aid was served.
Mr. Kool-Aid Man (and the maker of Kool-Aid brand beverages) would rather forget that particular incident.
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quote:
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Kennedy:
P.S. True story: When I was 11 years old my mom bought me a pair of shorts from a Thriftshop (They called 'em "Rag Stores" here in Bumblefuck, KY back in those days, and my mom described her shopping excursions to these delightful emporiums as "goin' raggin'"--- for serious, if I'm lyin' I'm dyin'! :) ) for 50 cents, and in the left pocket was a $10 bill!!! Holy shit, I thought I had died and gone to Heaven--- ten bucks bought a lot of funnybooks and candy back in 1982!!! :)
Aww, Matt - your mom probably put that $10 in there 'cause you were such a sweetie!
Amo te, Matteus. sed femina sum
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quote:
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Kennedy:
P.S. True story: When I was 11 years old my mom bought me a pair of shorts from a Thriftshop (They called 'em "Rag Stores" here in Bumblefuck, KY back in those days, and my mom described her shopping excursions to these delightful emporiums as "goin' raggin'"--- for serious, if I'm lyin' I'm dyin'! :) ) for 50 cents, and in the left pocket was a $10 bill!!! Holy shit, I thought I had died and gone to Heaven--- ten bucks bought a lot of funnybooks and candy back in 1982!!! :)
Aww, Matt - your mom probably put that $10 in there 'cause you were such a sweetie!
Amo te, Matteus. sed femina sum
Hee! You better give your husband fair warning, Cramer--- 'cuz I'm falling for you in a big way!
P.S. Translate that Latin for me, you sultry siren! ![[wink]](images/icons/wink.gif)
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Yes! *Jumps up and down* I get to be a Batman villain, I think I'd be more interesting than Scarface, but there might be some complications between myself and Catwoman.
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quote:
Originally posted by Matt Kennedy:
quote:
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Matt Kennedy:
Hee! You better give your husband fair warning, Cramer--- 'cuz I'm falling for you in a big way!
P.S. Translate that Latin for me, you sultry siren!
I'll keep you guessing, doll - but would you like to be my twin?
And yes, I am a Ms. not a Mr. - which reminds me of the Ogden Nash poem:
She frowned and called him Mr.
Because in sport he Kr.
And so in spite
That very night
That Mr. Kr. Sr.
Nothing to do with the Legion you say? This poem will be unearthed by the archeologists from the Time Institute in th year 2004. It will keep them guessing for awhile, but will start a new fad for silly poetry. Tenzil will hold a reading, which will be well attended and will receive critical acclaim.
I could go on, but then again I can't, gotta run, busy busy busy. Bye all!
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Oh darn! Make that 3004. Haste makes waste.
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Matt K (is that the kryptonite that makes Superman wanna eat Gardenburgers & tofurkey?) ~
I do believe I've seen a polka record or two, although I've been easing off the record bins of late.
I can tell you, however, the records you are most likely to find in any given secondhand shop:
-Fleetwood Mac's Rumours
-Some local church singing group with the clean-cut coed members smiling most winning and wholesomely from the cover, all big-haired (gals only of course) and dressed in their matching 1966 duds AND/OR the amazing combined efforts of Hometown Junior High's choir and band departments
-Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass's Whipped Cream and Other Delights
You didn't actually ask for advice, but here it is, for everyone - you won't know unless you go!
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quote:
Originally posted by Kat:
Yes! *Jumps up and down* I get to be a Batman villain, I think I'd be more interesting than Scarface, but there might be some complications between myself and Catwoman.
Ummm... sexual complications??? ![[whaaaa!]](eek01.gif) ![[um.... uh huh! ... ]](graemlins/umuhhuh001.gif)
And for the record, Batman had a villainess named the Magpie, around the time of the LEGENDS mini-series, who was pretty cuckoo for shiny baubles. So now you know. Be an innovator, not an imitator, bayBEE!
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Couldn't there be a Batman villain who's the animals-based equivalent of Ivy -- maybe Poison Tofurkey? His costume would be made of gluten and tofu strands...
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Grife! How could I have forgotten about Magpie?! Okay, my weakness is that I fall into a fascinated trance whenever I see shiny, sparkly, pretty, shimmery, glittery.....
What was I talking about? Oh yes, as opposed to needing to obtain them, I'm absolutely, and quite sadly fascinated by them.
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