This thread is a compilement of tips and advice for those of us who are impaired with problems with gas and flatulence.
And with that I will start...
If you are in a room full of people and abosolutely positively need to fart find a wall or chair. Now lean on this and stretch your asscheeks as far apart as you can with it, this will cause your anus to not ruffle and vibrate thus making your farts SILENT.
