RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts Today is Joey's birthday.

so be nice to the little turd burglar for at least the rest of the day. Thanks in advance.

Happy birthday Lothar!

Fuck off Lothar from Friends!

You guys are so God Damn butt fucking dumb! This is not old numb nuts birthday!!

Happy Birthday. I hope you get that big load of throat butter you asked for. And the ass full of man chowder that you had on your list.

Is this shit on the alt. Id day?

I AM THE ORIGIONAL ID. EVERYONE ELSE FOLOWED ME! CAN YOU IDIOTS UNDERSTAND THAT MUCH!?

I'm not origional. Sorry, but I just don't get down like that.

Joey is a gay fagggggggot.

and he has gay man on man butt sex with other men of the same sex!

9. Why is it that when you talk to God you're praying, but when he talks to you, you're crazy?
10. Old age is inevitable; growing up is optional.
11. My neighbor has a treadmill - and a riding lawn mower.
12. Isn't it redundant to say an offer is void where prohibited?
13. If at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished.
14. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
15. -Don't break someone's heart; medical bills are expensive.
16. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
17. -What good is knowing all the answers if no one will ask the questions.
18. I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
19. Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
20. Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone
21. Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
22. I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.
23. The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
24. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
25. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
26. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
27. I misplaced my dictionary. Now I'm at a loss for words.
28. Money talks....it says good-bye.
29. School days are the best days of your life...provided your children are old enough to go.
30. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
31. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
32. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
33. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
34. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
35. Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson You find the present tense and the past perfect.
37. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
38. Gravity...it's not just a good idea. It's the law.
39. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
40. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
41. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic!!
42. You can't have everything, where would you put it?
43. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
44. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
45. My Mother Is a travel agent for guilt trips.
46. That man could have had any women he pleased--he just couldn't please any!
47. The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
48. A pessimist is a man who gets a clean bill of health from his doctor, then goes to get a second opinion!
49. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me
50. What we see depends on mainly what we look for

30. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
31. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
32. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
33. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
34. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
35. Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson You find the present tense and the past perfect.
37. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
38. Gravity...it's not just a good idea. It's the law.
39. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
40. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
41. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic!!
42. You can't have everything, where would you put it?
43. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
44. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
45. My Mother Is a travel agent for guilt trips.
46. That man could have had any women he pleased--he just couldn't please any!
47. The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
48. A pessimist is a man who gets a clean bill of health from his doctor, then goes to get a second opinion!
49. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me
50. What we see depends on mainly what we look for

The Twelve Days of a Redneck Christmas
.
On the first day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
Some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the second day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the third day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the forth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the fifth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the sixth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the seventh day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the eighth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the ninth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the tenth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
11 rasslin' tickets
tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
12 pack of Bud
11 rasslin' tickets
tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.