6 Man Tag

Captain Sammitch, Chewy Walrus, and Killconey vs. King Snarf and the Masked Avengers

<The prerequisite entrance music plays as Captain Sammitch, Chewy Walrus, and Killconey make their way to the ring. Immediately thereafter, the Masked Avengers make their way to the ring. King Snarf follows soon afterward, but just as he enters the ring, he calls for a microphone and addresses the crowd...>

KS:As you know, our esteemed general manager has forbidden me from forfeiting tonight's match. He needn't have worried; this is a tag match, and forfeiting the match would be fine, if it were just me, but I have partners depending on me, even if one of them is a whiny bitch who decided it would be better to end the main event of Robblemania in a no-contest when the votes CLEARLY showed me as the winner. No, I am professional, and I will not forfeit... I have something much more asinine planned! Boys, send in the clowns!"

<On cue, twenty clowns make their way to the ring and proceed to stand in the middle of the ring doing nothing but looking festive, making it very hard for any kind of match to continue...>

KS:NOW we can start the match!

Marcum: This is great! Look at those clowns there! How jaunty!

Monroe: This is absurd! The ref should throw this match out right now!

Marcum: Hold on, Monroe. Are the clowns attacking the ref?

Monroe: No...

Marcum: Are they attacking any of the participants?

Monroe: No...

Marcum: Are the clowns in any way actively interfering in the match?

Monroe: No, but I still don't like it! How can we have any kind of meaningful competition with these guys in the ring?!? This is, without question, the single-most asinine, dumbest thing I have ever seen!

Marcum: What about McMahon making himself the ECW World Champion?

Monroe: This is the second most asinine thing I have ever seen!

<James White rings the bell, and the match commences with Chewy Walrus facing off against King Snarf. The two combatants attempt to size each other up as they circle around the clowns (and presumably the ring)...>

Marcum: I love it!

Monroe:

<Eventually, Chewy tires of the clowns, not to mention Snarf's incessant circling. He attempts to slip around the clowns to get at Snarf, but Snarf changes direction and keeps the clowns between the two grapplers. Undaunted, Chewy changes direction... as does Snarf...>

Monroe: This is ridiculous...

<After about a minute of this, Chewy decides he's had enough. Jumping back into the ropes, he springs across the ring and unleashes a Walrus Tusk into the gaggle of clowns!>

Monroe: BUHGAWB!

Marcum: He just tried to send out the clowns!

<Sure enough, twenty clowns are sprawled around the ring, not fighting Chewy Walrus but not in too big a hurry to get out of the way. Chewy himself seems to have had the wind knocked out of him by the impact, and is slow getting to his feet. Ever the opportunist, Snarf rushes back to his own corner and tries to maneuver Chewy Walrus into the headlock... but is blind-tagged by Archer!>

Marcum: Hey! You aren't supposed to blind-tag the King!

Monroe: Maybe now we'll at least see some wrestling... and would someone get those Robdamned clowns out of the ring?!?

<King Snarf is rather perturbed at being blind-tagged, but when he turns to Archer to protest, Archer ignores him and goes to work on the still-winded Chewy...>

Monroe: The Archer is clearly seeking some retribution for being knocked unconscious by Chewy Walrus last Havoc!

<Archer gets in a few good kicks before Chewy finally gets to his feet. Chewy staggers over to his corner - nearly tripping over a clown on the way - and tags Killconey in, but Killconey appears rather uneasy as he looks at the clown-filled ring!>

Marcum: Looks like Killconey's scared of clowns!

Monroe: This match is a travesty!

<While Killconey hesitates, Archer tags Brad Lee in, then rushes over and attacks Chewy while Brad works on Killconey...>

Monroe: The Masked Avengers are clearly looking to avenge what happened between these wrestlers last Havoc!

<The brawl in the corner is rapidly descending into chaos as Brad Lee, Archer, Chewy Walrus, and Killconey slug it out, oblivious to the match, and all too eager to shove, throw, or punch a clown if any strays too close to the melee. Lothar is contemplating whether or not to call for the bell, but as unconscious or injured clowns begin leaving the ring with the help of the four wrestlers, he changes his mind. Brad Lee keeps pummeling Killconey in the corner as Archer beats up on Chewy on the apron. The apron and the fringe of the ring are littered with the prone or crawling forms of clowns that couldn't get out of the way in time. Brad Lee runs back to his own corner, runs back across the ring, takes to the air off the back of a crawling clown, and crane-kicks Killconey in the head!>

Monroe: Buhgawb! That's brutal!

Marcum: Who said prop comedy isn't funny?

<Not satisfied with the beating he's inflicted on Killconey, Brad Lee retreats to his own corner again to repeat the maneuver... but is blind-tagged by Snarf...>

Monroe: King Snarf must have decided Killconey was softened up enough to make an easy target...

<Killconey tries to stagger to his feet and fails. Snarf charges toward him. With his last ounce of strength, Killconey reaches up and tags the outstretched hand of Captain Sammitch... who steps in just in time to intercept the charging King Snarf with a Sammitch Spin, greeting Snarf with a rapidly-rotating white New Balance to the face!>

Monroe: BUHGAWB!!!

Marcum: He's bleeding! King Snarf's bleeding!

Snarf staggers back, wiping blood from his nose and looking up in disbelief. Without hesitating, Sammitch shoves him back and grapples him into a hold. Eager to slip on the headlock, King Snarf tries frantically to reverse the hold, but Sammitch keeps him locked up long enough to deliver three Sammitch Suplexes!>

Marcum: You can't manhandle King Snarf like that! That's fucked up! That ain't right!

Monroe: It looks like he easily can manhandle him like that!

<Captain Sammitch pins Snarf, but Lothar only counts to two before Brad Lee interferes, kicking Sammitch in the back of the head! Dazed, Sammitch stumbles to his knees, and King Snarf breaks free, but Brad blind-tags him and shoves him out of the way before he can go for the headlock!>

Marcum: What kinda teamwork is that?

<The enraged Brad Lee circles the ring, sizing up the dazed Captain Sammitch. On the apron, Archer charges at Chewy Walrus with a steel chair, but Chewy bullrushes him before he can bring the chair down, driving Archer into the ring steps! Meanwhile, Killconey is perched atop a turnbuckle, watching the action in the ring pensively...>

Monroe: This is absolute mayhem!

<Brad Lee lines Sammitch up and charges at him to deliver a finisher. He is just a step from taking to the air when he suddenly trips over a fallen clown! King Snarf charges in from another direction... but is intercepted by a Walrus Wallop clothesline!>

Monroe: All four combatants are battered and bloodied! Will any of them be able to make a move?

<Brad Lee finally gets to his feet and starts to go after Sammitch again. Shoving the last clown aside, he charges in... and Killconey launches off the top rope into his path, delivering a flawless Fires of Heaven!!!>

Marcum:

Monroe:

<Brad Lee slumps to the mat, possibly unconscious. With the last of his strength, Killconey goes for the cover and gets the three-count! Lothar calls for the bell, and James White rings it...>

James White: Here are your winners, by pinfall, Chewy Walrus, Killconey, and Captain Sammitch!

<The crowd goes wild as AC/DC's 'TNT' blares throughout the Cheesedome, but the mood in the ring is somewhat less celebratory, as the mat is littered with bleeding, dazed, or unconscious wrestlers... not to mention twenty clowns in a great deal of pain...>

Monroe: We'll return after these messages!

MarcuM: And after we get this mess cleared away!