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That was funny though.
Doog: I had a girlfriend once (1998) who was on medication. When she didn't take it, she became a banshee and I really worried about her. I had another girlfriend (1991) who was a nasty drunk, and another one (2008) who was depressed over her ex, and passive-aggressive angry about it, and I worried about her self-harming. (All three were nice girls otherwise.) And my ex, who is a really good person, was stressing me to health problems. Sometimes you have to know when to fold, and I repeatedly folded for a lot less extreme reasons than those confronting you.
Its not your fault. Sounds like you did the best you could.
Next: relax. I said this to a friend the other day who is depressed because she is gorgeous and in a shitty casual relationship with an arsehole. I assume you have no kids? With no responsibilities, you can wander the globe. Fucking come down here and crash on my couch for a week while you do what Herbert Hoover did and get a job working in a Western Australian mine and make some real cash. See the world. Breathe some air. Help some people. Do some good. Sit on the beach and watch the sun set. Do whatever you want. If I had no kids I'd be having a year off and just wandering around with my wife looking at stuff and meeting people.
One of my happiest memories is sitting on a beach in Lagos, Portugal, looking at my toes. The water and the sky were the same colour. I felt like I was floating. It was 4 weeks into a 7 week holiday and I realised I'd not thought about work for a fortnight (my job is and has always been pretty stressful). I wiggled my toes and felt euphoric from the freedom.
Go wiggle your toes somewhere.
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