This last one actually happened to me!
My girlfriend was mad at me because she had a dream I cheated on her.

EYES? i don't see eyes.

CLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Ahh, the men and womens... show your eye!! topic.

Haven't seen that one in a while.

I've got a great "woman logic" story. It's actually what started the argument that culminated in my divorce.
I was talking with my then-wife about the reality of needing a second vehicle, and looking at our finances. Mind you, she'd been about $6,000 in credit card debt since she was 19 and got cards from Kohls, Victoria's Secret, etc. and budgeting/not pissing away her money wasn't exactly her strong suit.
So, her solution to getting a second car was, "I think you should give me more control over how our money gets spent." Apparently, I was supposed to find that statement both relevant and helpful....

Yeah... women who want a man to provide them with a lifestyle they were never accustomed to.

Women have the advantage over men, because they communicate a lot more than us.
On that point I'm actually making fun of us, not them.

Tight jeans that take a minute to put on:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_vtckowbKc&feature=related


I love how women suffer to look good for us!

When it's cold out but ho is life

It may not be logical, but on the plus side, it does put the goods on display.

Yeah, one of my favorites too. No woman makes the point better than Rachel Maddow.

Hasn't that been all of us getting busted, at one time or another?

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I feel like someone may have beaten me to this already, but just in case....

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Cross pollenating French logic, and women's logic.

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That's short and to the point.

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The ironic part was, I woke up with her.
Hypothetically, how could I have cheated, anywhere outside of a dream?