Please answer the following questions. One of our professional analysts will read your results and find out everything that is wrong with you.
1. Do you own a pet? What kind of pet? Do you like this pet? Explain.
2. How many friends do you have? How close are they? What is the most personal thing you talk to them about?
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
4. Do you like your Mother and Father? Why? Explain.
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there? What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
6. Sex? Explain.
1. Do you own a pet? What kind of pet? Do you like this pet? Explain.
Yes. A cat. Yeah, I like him because he's cool and laid back (like me) and is friendly to people.
2. How many friends do you have? How close are they? What is the most personal thing you talk to them about?
I have an inner circle of 10 friends whom I can confide anything and everything with.
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
I'm crazy, not stupid. Nice try.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father? Why? Explain.
Not only do I love my parents, I like them. They're the cool parents that everyone wishes (wished) they had. And they put up with my shit.
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there? What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
I see a blob of ink. Letting my imagination work, I see a weird-looking cloud. Shape makes it a cloud.
6. Sex? Explain.
Love to. Explain what? You're the one offering! Cock-tease!!!
Meanwhile...As the Stomach Turns...
1. Do you own a pet? What kind of pet? Do you like this pet? Explain.
Larry. He's a spider. Sometimes he tells me to do stuff.
2. How many friends do you have? How close are they? What is the most personal thing you talk to them about?
Sometimes I just want to hurt those who are smaller and weaker than myself. Does this make me gay? Lord, please don't let me be gay.
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
I love the smell of my bank manager's hair.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father? Why? Explain.
My father made me do the bad thing. Even though I knew it was bad I liked it. This makes me very bad. My mother taught me that all girls are FILTHY EVIL WHORES!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there? What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
Oh God Oh God, it's Michael and he's bleeding. He's bleeding badly!!!
Sorry I wasn't looking at the paper just then. I was looking at what's on the floor. I am a wiicked evil child for not conentrating.
6. Sex? Explain.
Why won't Mr Tinkle stand up for Daisy Mitchell. He stands up for Warren the gardener but not for Daisy. Bad Mr Tinkle. It's back in the vice for you until you learn some manners.
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rex said:
Are you drunk again?
You have adult ADD.
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Joe Mama said:
1. Do you own a pet? What kind of pet? Do you like this pet? Explain.
Yes. A cat. Yeah, I like him because he's cool and laid back (like me) and is friendly to people.
2. How many friends do you have? How close are they? What is the most personal thing you talk to them about?
I have an inner circle of 10 friends whom I can confide anything and everything with.
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
I'm crazy, not stupid. Nice try.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father? Why? Explain.
Not only do I love my parents, I like them. They're the cool parents that everyone wishes (wished) they had. And they put up with my shit.
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there? What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
I see a blob of ink. Letting my imagination work, I see a weird-looking cloud. Shape makes it a cloud.
6. Sex? Explain.
Love to. Explain what? You're the one offering! Cock-tease!!!
You are a catatonic schizophrenic. You concoct a bizarre world of fantasy and inacuracy to support yourself in your questionable endevors. Soon you will lose all connection to the real world and slip into a living death coma and hover on the brink of termination for 60 more years.
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LLance said:
Meanwhile...As the Stomach Turns...
You are homosexual. Your whatchamacallit in your brain is larger than normal. I recomend a series of electric convulsion therapy sessions to correct the matter. And a diet.
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backwards7 said:
1. Do you own a pet? What kind of pet? Do you like this pet? Explain.
Larry. He's a spider. Sometimes he tells me to do stuff.
2. How many friends do you have? How close are they? What is the most personal thing you talk to them about?
Sometimes I just want to hurt those who are smaller and weaker than myself. Does this make me gay? Lord, please don't let me be gay.
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
I love the smell of my bank manager's hair.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father? Why? Explain.
My father made me do the bad thing. Even though I knew it was bad I liked it. This makes me very bad. My mother taught me that all girls are FILTHY EVIL WHORES!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there? What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
Oh God Oh God, it's Michael and he's bleeding. He's bleeding badly!!!
Sorry I wasn't looking at the paper just then. I was looking at what's on the floor. I am a wiicked evil child for not conentrating.
6. Sex? Explain.
Why won't Mr Tinkle stand up for Daisy Mitchell. He stands up for Warren the gardener but not for Daisy. Bad Mr Tinkle. It's back in the vice for you until you learn some manners.
You have low self esteem and trust issues. Your overly outgoing nature online masks your paralyzing shyness in the real world. You have never had sex with a human woman. You have the potential to become the next Timothy McVeh. I recomend the state send out their best police to shoot you now while you're still docile.
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Uschi said:
You are a catatonic schizophrenic. You concoct a bizarre world of fantasy and inacuracy to support yourself in your questionable endevors. Soon you will lose all connection to the real world and slip into a living death coma and hover on the brink of termination for 60 more years.
You say that like it's a bad thing. How do I speed up the process?
And, assuming that's true, are you a figment of my tortured imagination? And, if so, could you cook me a western omelet and hash browns whilst I have mind-blowing sex with the ladies of this board?
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Uschi said:
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rex said:
Are you drunk again?
You have adult ADD.
What were we talking about?
1. Do you own a pet?
No. I cannot own him. He is free.
What kind of pet?
1/4 poodle, 1/4 parrot, 1/2 wookie.
Do you like this pet? Explain.
Yes. He listens to me. And he rips the arms off those kids down the street who throw rocks at me.
2. How many friends do you have?
23.
How close are they?
Very. I have them all chained together in the basement.
What is the most personal thing you talk to them about?
I tell them everything. I especially love to tell them about how I want to take their skin and make a new wallet or belt with it.
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
Blue. 12345.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father?
Mom's great. Dad isn't as good as he should be.
Why? Explain.
With lemon pepper and oregano, mom's perfect. Dad's a little too gamey.
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there?
A child screaming out for help. But the world won't answer. It's too busy drinking cheap whiskey and pawning the neighbors' TV and steroes to care. And, at night, the world comes into that child's room and urinates on him.
What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
No. I'm fucking crazy.
6. Sex? Explain.
Sex is what the TV sells but never delivers. Sex is $20 and a hooker so stoned and drunk that she doesn't notice the rusty knives with dried blood sitting in the back seat.
1. Do you own a pet? What kind of pet? Do you like this pet? Explain
yes, 2 dogs, one german shepherd and a cocker spainel/lab.
2. How many friends do you have? How close are they? What is the most personal thing you've talked to them about?
a very small select few of friends, but i have a wider group of acquaintances.like I said, small group of people so we're quite close. Why in the name of aces and beer would I fucking tell you that when I barely know you?
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
Sorry, but i keep my assets somewhere besides a bank.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father?
Ahem, My mother isn't around much with travel and all. But she's cool Father? ohhh...you mean spermie...yeah....he's only good for money and beer.
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there? What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
okay, hmm...i see...yes! i see a clown with some balloons!! The curves and the streaming of colour make the clown look as if he's gonna eat the balloons.
6. Sex? Explain
Sorry, at the current moment the party you are trying to reach cannot come to the phone do to the rampage of scrumping....Please leave a message.
1..Yes,dog and sort of
2. a bunch,close enough
3.8675309
5. a mess,ink all over,
6. Sex? Explain. All the time.
Please answer the following questions. One of our professional analysts will read your results and find out everything that is wrong with you.
Ok.
1. Do you own a pet? What kind of pet? Do you like this pet? Explain.
No. No kind. Yes. Because it's nice.
2. How many friends do you have? How close are they? What is the most personal thing you talk to them about?
Lots. Depends, one of them used to live next door, but he moved away. No wait, I moved away. I'm still in the same city though. We talk about stuff and such.
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
Dunno and I don't think I have one of those.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father? Why? Explain.
Yes. Because each of them is half as cool as me, and that's pretty fucking cool.
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there? What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
No. I don't see anything. Nothing makes me see it like it. There's no edges and no color because I didn't do it. There's nothing to explain.
6. Sex? Explain.
Thank you very much.
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Crazy Eyed Joe said:
1. Do you own a pet?
No. I cannot own him. He is free.
What kind of pet?
1/4 poodle, 1/4 parrot, 1/2 wookie.
Do you like this pet? Explain.
Yes. He listens to me. And he rips the arms off those kids down the street who throw rocks at me.
2. How many friends do you have?
23.
How close are they?
Very. I have them all chained together in the basement.
What is the most personal thing you talk to them about?
I tell them everything. I especially love to tell them about how I want to take their skin and make a new wallet or belt with it.
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
Blue. 12345.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father?
Mom's great. Dad isn't as good as he should be.
Why? Explain.
With lemon pepper and oregano, mom's perfect. Dad's a little too gamey.
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there?
A child screaming out for help. But the world won't answer. It's too busy drinking cheap whiskey and pawning the neighbors' TV and steroes to care. And, at night, the world comes into that child's room and urinates on him.
What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
No. I'm fucking crazy.
6. Sex? Explain.
Sex is what the TV sells but never delivers. Sex is $20 and a hooker so stoned and drunk that she doesn't notice the rusty knives with dried blood sitting in the back seat.
You try too hard to be funny and fail. My perfect match! We should get married and hang ourselves.
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sneaky bunny said:
1. Do you own a pet? What kind of pet? Do you like this pet? Explain
yes, 2 dogs, one german shepherd and a cocker spainel/lab.
2. How many friends do you have? How close are they? What is the most personal thing you've talked to them about?
a very small select few of friends, but i have a wider group of acquaintances.like I said, small group of people so we're quite close. Why in the name of aces and beer would I fucking tell you that when I barely know you?
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
Sorry, but i keep my assets somewhere besides a bank.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father?
Ahem, My mother isn't around much with travel and all. But she's cool Father? ohhh...you mean spermie...yeah....he's only good for money and beer.
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there? What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
okay, hmm...i see...yes! i see a clown with some balloons!! The curves and the streaming of colour make the clown look as if he's gonna eat the balloons.
6. Sex? Explain
Sorry, at the current moment the party you are trying to reach cannot come to the phone do to the rampage of scrumping....Please leave a message.
Cocker Spaniels are idiot dogs. My mom has one. He means well but is a little shit. Speaking of shit, he can sculpt his. Once he left a twisty one like the castle to cloud world in Mario 3 and another time he left a poop version of stone henge. It was neat, albeit disgusting.
You need to open up more. As your psychoanalyst I cannot help you if you do not share with me. Now, what is your bank account number and PIN?
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URG said:
1..Yes,dog and sort of
2. a bunch,close enough
3.8675309
5. a mess,ink all over,
6. Sex? Explain. All the time.
URG am real man.
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I'm Not Mister Mxypltk said:
Please answer the following questions. One of our professional analysts will read your results and find out everything that is wrong with you.
Ok.
1. Do you own a pet? What kind of pet? Do you like this pet? Explain.
No. No kind. Yes. Because it's nice.
2. How many friends do you have? How close are they? What is the most personal thing you talk to them about?
Lots. Depends, one of them used to live next door, but he moved away. No wait, I moved away. I'm still in the same city though. We talk about stuff and such.
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
Dunno and I don't think I have one of those.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father? Why? Explain.
Yes. Because each of them is half as cool as me, and that's pretty fucking cool.
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there? What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
No. I don't see anything. Nothing makes me see it like it. There's no edges and no color because I didn't do it. There's nothing to explain.
6. Sex? Explain.
Thank you very much.
You seem to float very close to the idealistic mental Normal. What the fuck are you doing here on Rob's MBs?
I've come here to save you all.
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Uschi said:
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sneaky bunny said:
1. Do you own a pet? What kind of pet? Do you like this pet? Explain
yes, 2 dogs, one german shepherd and a cocker spainel/lab.
2. How many friends do you have? How close are they? What is the most personal thing you've talked to them about?
a very small select few of friends, but i have a wider group of acquaintances.like I said, small group of people so we're quite close. Why in the name of aces and beer would I fucking tell you that when I barely know you?
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
Sorry, but i keep my assets somewhere besides a bank.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father?
Ahem, My mother isn't around much with travel and all. But she's cool Father? ohhh...you mean spermie...yeah....he's only good for money and beer.
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there? What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
okay, hmm...i see...yes! i see a clown with some balloons!! The curves and the streaming of colour make the clown look as if he's gonna eat the balloons.
6. Sex? Explain
Sorry, at the current moment the party you are trying to reach cannot come to the phone do to the rampage of scrumping....Please leave a message.
Cocker Spaniels are idiot dogs. My mom has one. He means well but is a little shit. Speaking of shit, he can sculpt his. Once he left a twisty one like the castle to cloud world in Mario 3 and another time he left a poop version of stone henge. It was neat, albeit disgusting.
You need to open up more. As your psychoanalyst I cannot help you if you do not share with me. Now, what is your bank account number and PIN?
I fucking told you i don't have a fucking bank account. so i'll say this again...I KEEP MY CASH, YES THOSE THINGS WITH TEH DEAD PEOPLES FACES ON THEM THAT YOU EXCHANGE FOR TANGIBLE COMMODITIES IN A DIFFERENT PLACE THEN A PRISSY ASS BANK. So bite me you bald drunk.
llance has things with dead people's faces on them.
...scary shit at that nbcon.
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sneaky bunny said:
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Uschi said:
Quote:
sneaky bunny said:
1. Do you own a pet? What kind of pet? Do you like this pet? Explain
yes, 2 dogs, one german shepherd and a cocker spainel/lab.
2. How many friends do you have? How close are they? What is the most personal thing you've talked to them about?
a very small select few of friends, but i have a wider group of acquaintances.like I said, small group of people so we're quite close. Why in the name of aces and beer would I fucking tell you that when I barely know you?
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
Sorry, but i keep my assets somewhere besides a bank.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father?
Ahem, My mother isn't around much with travel and all. But she's cool Father? ohhh...you mean spermie...yeah....he's only good for money and beer.
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there? What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
okay, hmm...i see...yes! i see a clown with some balloons!! The curves and the streaming of colour make the clown look as if he's gonna eat the balloons.
6. Sex? Explain
Sorry, at the current moment the party you are trying to reach cannot come to the phone do to the rampage of scrumping....Please leave a message.
Cocker Spaniels are idiot dogs. My mom has one. He means well but is a little shit. Speaking of shit, he can sculpt his. Once he left a twisty one like the castle to cloud world in Mario 3 and another time he left a poop version of stone henge. It was neat, albeit disgusting.
You need to open up more. As your psychoanalyst I cannot help you if you do not share with me. Now, what is your bank account number and PIN?
I fucking told you i don't have a fucking bank account. so i'll say this again...I KEEP MY CASH, YES THOSE THINGS WITH TEH DEAD PEOPLES FACES ON THEM THAT YOU EXCHANGE FOR TANGIBLE COMMODITIES IN A DIFFERENT PLACE THEN A PRISSY ASS BANK. So bite me you bald drunk.
That sounds like such a tasty option! Sadly, I am far from drinking. You should get a bank account. You get money for letting them hold your money. That equates free money! All it costs is time. So time really is money. I have a piggybank too. It's a flocked bear. I put red paint on it so it looks like it's dieing from ebola or something. Then I got bored last weekend and also made it's face painted up like Joker. I have a railroad spike I'm goung to drive through it Thursday when I go to Mom's to wash laundry. I wish I could light it in a sustained fire but, as we learned from the Miss Pretty and Jar Jar Binks experiments, burning things dissappear. I don't keep money in my piggybank though. Well, I sorta do. It's full up of pennies I won playing penny poker in High School. But I heard a few years ago that pennies aren't fully legal tender anymore. Like, banks take 'em but you can't buy something legally with only pennies. Do you know if that's true? That'd be weird. Strange almost. We just watched Dr.Strangelove for the first time. Ever watch it? Funny stuff!
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Rob Kamphausen said:
llance has things with dead people's faces on them.
...scary shit at that nbcon.
My Mom has a window that used to have a face on it. My sister would see the bloody man throw the face on the window every night. So she ended up staying awake all night watching Infomercials for the Gazelle with Tony Little for two and a half years. Then we moved and we don't have to deal with the bloody man anymore. I think he used to be a taxidermist.
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TK-069 said:
...
No good? You're the expert...
Dammit Uschi, I'm an undergrad, not a Doctor!
I have a feeling you'd schedule weekly appointments...
Who wouldn't?! You have a gentile touch, Brak.... shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Aw crap, you busted open that zit on my shoulder. Thank heavens I saved you! They're much like your Earth insects, larger of course. So there you have it. A letter opener. Nothing new perhaps but then, what is? Oh yeah. They're going to sneak away under the cover of mid afternoon in the biggest car in the county.
So... you wanna schedule some too?
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TK-069 said:
I have a feeling you'd schedule weekly appointments...
i'll take Friday, June 18 @ 8am, Thursday, June 24 @ noon and Friday, July 1st @ 3pm.
Can this test cure herpes?
...cuz boy...do I.....need herpes....
And that's how he saved my life.