RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Writer's Block JLR: Countdown to the House of Infinity Crisis - Disassembled

A short time has passed since the JLR foiled the plans of Chant and his postal minions. Still, Chant waits and unleashes his foulest plan yet... a plan that could, in fact, lead him to the greatest power the universe has ever known!
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Deep in a Mayan temple three days ago...

Chant: Are you're certain this is it?

The Intern: According to my calculations, the meteor fell here in this crypt.

Chant: What did you say?

The Intern: I mean... YOUR Calculations.

Chant: Hrm. Well, open it.

The Intern gestures to the Postal Robot accompanying them. The Robot slowly pulls open the crypt door. Dust, cobwebs and tiny bugs quickly evacuate the premises. The two men step into the crypt expecting total darkness. Instead, a single shaft of light cuts the room in half. It runs from a hole in the ceiling to a chest in the floor.

Chant: (Entering the room and looking up through the hole.) So... Where is it? I don't see any meteor around here.

The Intern:(Looking through some scattered Mayan remains.) It seems the meteor has been permanently lodged in this.... sock.

Chant: A sock.... Did the Mayans even wear socks?

The Intern: And look at this! Apparently, there are places for the other meteors!

Quickly, Chant grabs the sock away from the Intern and places five other meteors into the sock. Then, he tries to hop on one foot while taking off his boot and sliding the sock on to his foot.

Chant: Yes!! I can feel it! The power of the Infinite! It is at my grasp! Finally... I can destroy the JLR FOREVER!!!

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A beach in Cancun, Mexico, yesterday.

Wednesday: Now... this is the life, eh?

Centurion: *covered in sun screen* I'm surprised my mom signed the permission slip. This is the best field trip ever!

TTT: I'm just glad we started a new adventure with new schticks!

Nuriko98: Why?

TTT: It's a long story.... wait... No. Okay, first it started with-

Registered Member: Everyone kept stealing his lines.

Centurion: Where are the babes?

Wednesday: Look, I'm going to go grab a cervesa, I'll be right back. Anyone need anything?

Centurion: I'll take a cerv-- Beer.

Wednesday: Nice try, kid. Anyone else?

Jay Orin: No thanks.

Doog: Gimme one of them drinks with the umbrella in it.

Wednesday: Got it. Coming right up.

Wednesday trots across the soft sand and reaches the bar where one hot latin lady is hanging out.

Wednesday: Que pasa?

Hot Latin Lady: If it isn't my old pal, Wednesday.

Wednesday: So... we've met? Wait... Why do you sound like a dude? Oh man... Gross. Okay.. I'm not down... I mean, it's cool. You do whatevah! But, I'm uh... I'mma go..

Slowly, Hot Latin Lady morphs into the Postal Terror that is Chant. Wednesday watches in shock as the bartender also morphs into the Intern. He points a Weapon of Mass Confusion at Wednesday.

Chant: I find it entertaining that you managed to end up in Mexico the same time as me. I also find it a glorious convenience.

Wednesday: The rest of the JLR are just over that dune...

Chant: Oh... I know. I know everything. *he shows off the Infinity Sock*

Wedneday: That's uh... great... normally... Uh, I don't wear socks on the beach. I mean, that's where sandals come in handy.

Chant: Don't you smell that, Wednesday?

Wednesday: Smell.... what?

Chant: Impending doom.

The Intern pulls the trigger and Wednesday is frozen where he stands. Chant reaches out and tears Wednesday's head from his body... and starts the slow walk up the dune. When he reaches the other side, the JLR scramble to find a defensive formation but stop short when Chant tosses Wedneday's head at their feet.

Jay Orin: Wednesday!!??! No!!

She rushes to attack but Chant stops her with the power of the Infinity Sock. Mystical, cosmic energies flow from Jay to Chant's foot. She falls to the ground, powerless.

Chant: Now... How can I make this interesting... Oh.. yes.

Chant snaps his fingers and the standing members of the JLR slowly twist into evil versions of themselves. He strides over and stands over the prone Jay.

Jay Orin: My powers... *she looks up at Chant*

Chant: Better start running.

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The Farmhouse of Justice today. Ace and Fused sit on the Sofa of Justice playing Tekken 5 on the Playstation 2 of Justice. Kaz enters from the kitchen with beer in hand.

Kaz: See... that's the part I don't get. I mean, you went out for the salsa... Yet, we still don't have any. And why the hell aren't >WE< chilling in Cancun?

Ace: You're distracting me here....

Fused: Don't make excuses for getting your ass whooped.

Kaz: Why us? I mean... how did they decide?

Ace: You weren't here?

Fused: Nah... he was at the mall, remember?

Kaz: I was at the mall, right.

Ace: That new chick.... what's her name... Destruction... something...

Kaz: Annhilation Lee?

Ace: Yeah... that's it. She made people pick a number.

Fused: So, half the squad's in Cancun.... and we're here... "guarding" the joint.

Kaz: Ah. I see...

Suddenly, Spandex Monkey Man rushes into the room...

SMM: Guys!

Fused: Calm down! Kaz has next.

SMM: What? Oh... Not that! This is important! TTT didn't check in this morning!

Ace: So?

SMM: He always checks in at 10:32:12 in the morning if he's away from the Farmhouse... something about keeping in touch with the toaster....

Kaz: Gross! I just had a pop-tart!

Fused: Maybe he hooked up with a Mexican iron.

SMM: Still... it's not like him. What if something's happened?

Ace: I'm sure Wednesday has it under control.

SMM: Yeah... maybe you're right.... where is Jade.... *looks around* and Darren?

Kaz: They went out for chips..... and salsa. They should be back in a minute.

SMM: When they get back, I say we try to contact the hotel they're staying at in Mexico...

Ace, Fused, Kaz: Whatever, man.

Suddenly.... Jay Orin, covered in beach sand and blood, bursts through the front door.... and collapses at just short of the Living Room of Justice.

Jay Orin: Gasp!

SMM: Who says, "Gasp!"?

Jay Orin: Wednesday..... .... .... he's dead...

SMM: What?!?!

Jay Orin: Chant... he killed him..... and made everyone else evil!

Ace: What... how?

Jay Orin: There's no time...

Fused: Why?

Jay Orin: They're right behind me....

Kaz: Who is right behind you?

Jay Orin: The JLR!!!

Ace, Fused, Kaz and Spandex Monkey Man look up to the front door.... as their former teammates, twisted by evil, charge into the Farmhouse of Justice.

Fused and Kaz: GULP!

Ace: We can't fight our friends!

Fused: Where's Brit?

Kaz: Upstairs... I think... I dunno... What are we going to do?

SMM: I... *SMM pulls a banana from his pocket and triumphantly points in the direction of their evil pals* JLR ASSEMBLE!!!!

SMM transforms into his feral monkey form, Ace plucks some cards from his jacket, Fused raises his bionic arm and Kaz cracks his knuckles (and takes off the sombrero).

Can four survive against their own? Who will lead the Wednesday-less JLR? Did TTT really make it with an iron? Will Jade and Darren get back in time..... with the Salsa?

Meanwhile, on Chant’s Helicarrier…

[Chant floats high above his carrier. Using the power of the Infinity Sock he is making major modifications to his Carrier. Random bits of metal and tubular objects fly from the horizon and attached themselves to the carrier. The Intern floats nearby.]

The Intern: *whistles*

Chant: Can you not do that?

The Intern: Of course… Master… Mayhem… Maker… Guy!

Chant: You know... you're boring me. If you’re going to ass-kiss you could at least be more entertaining about it… Let's see if we can't jazz you up a bit. *snaps his fingers*

[The power of the Infinity Sock changes the Intern with a bright fanciful fireworks-esque display. Smoke rolls amongst the clouds... and the Intern is changed...into a guy. Just your average, run-of-the-mill guy. That was anti-climactic, eh? The Intern has been replaced... by The Alarmingly Charming Biz Money!]

Biz: Whoa, awesome! It's just like in Transformers: The Movie, when Hot Rod got turned into Rodimus Prime and-

Chant: Uh, how about a little Spoiler Warning next time, huh?

Biz What? Oh come on, big guy. It's been what, 17 years? I think the Statute of Limitations on that has run out. Why don't you whip up a VCR when you've got a sec. Haha, am I right?

[Chant has nearly completed his work on the carrier. It is nearly doubled in size and seems to look more like large space ship.]

Biz: The place looks AWESOME, boss. When do I get the full tour? Also, do you think I could maybe add some cool flame decals to the side? *waits for reaction, of which there is none.* You know, like Hot Rod! It's a "callback," Oh Great Killer of All Things Good and Just!

Chant: Quiet, you.

[Silence sets in as Chant goes back to work. Biz squirms around, bored. You'd be bored too if you were floating out in the middle of space, right? What's that you wouldn't? Why? Oh, because you'd be FLOATING OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF SPACE!? Yeah. Agreed. But Biz is bored, nonetheless.]

Biz: Whatcha doin'?

Chant: I'm working on something.

Biz: Is it a space station?

Chant: Yes.

Biz: Need any help?

Chant: No.

Biz: Ya sure? I mean, hello, 5 semesters at Rocket Science school.

Chant: No.

Biz: Do you need, uh, can I get you like an Iced Tea or something then?

Chant: NO, I am FINE.

Biz: Hey, here's a random question that just popped into my head: How exactly do you get to "megalomaniac?" I mean where is that on the scale of "Evil Titles?" Like, is there a commission that reviews your work and stuff, or is it more self-anointed? If so, can I be Biz the Cruel and Unjust?

Chant: No.

Biz: Biz the Kitten Smasher?

Chant: No.

Biz: Am I annoying you? I mean, I'm not... you know, I'm just trying to help out. Do my part and stuff. Do you need me to like be your, uh, whattya call it? Tool spotter, or something? Like, you're all "Biz! Bring me my Phillip's Screwdriver!!!" and I'm all "Right away, Purveyor of Evil!" and then, as a joke, I bring you a mixed drink! Right, wouldn't that be the best?

Chant: No… it wouldn’t. I’m trying to work here.

Biz: You're awfully grumpy for someone who's TOTALLY about to take over the world. If I were in your shoes, I'd be, like, giddy. Actually, I'm kinda giddy now! You have NO idea how annoying it is to have "The" in your name. It's like... is my last name Intern? Is my first name "The?" It was HORRIBLE. And I think it really hurt my work performance, so I'm glad you-

Chant: Would you STOP. TALKING. NOW?

[Chant has now completed his space station. He and the much more entertaining version of the Intern(r-right?), glide into the hangar bay. The door swishes closed as the station lifts out of the atmosphere and rests into orbit around the earth. Biz looks around the huge open corridor, mouth agape in wonder.]

Biz: Wow, I'm almost speechless.

Chant: It's about ti-

Biz: This place is big enough to play, like... basketball in! And not just with rolled up paper and a waste basket, but like a real-life basket! Do you think I could draw in a key and a three-point line here with chalk? I think that'd really make an interesting conversation piece! I mean, it'd be the first thing you see! "Hi, welcome to my Death Palace Space Station, would you like to play a game of HORSE?" And the whole "in space" thing, would lead to some EXCITING slam dunks. Am I right? I'm TOTALLY right, right?

Chant: Why don't I just destroy you? Or... or blink you out of existence?

Biz: Because of my charm, O' Harbinger of Doom! I'm alarmingly charming!

Chant: I guess you're right... although, I can't imagine why. *sigh* Do you want a quick tour?

Biz: Do I!? That was a rhetorical question! Of COURSE I do!

[Chant begins to show his intrepid (and, erm, chatty) follower a tour of the massive base.]

Chant: And down there is the downstairs bathroom--no shower, just a toilet and sink. It's mostly for company, I figure. And if you go around the spiral staircase and past the Space Defibulator Death Ray, you'll actually get to the breakfast nook.

Biz: "In space, nobody can hear you eat Cocoa Krispies." Haha, get it? Like Alien? You know, the movie? That was, uh.. that was the tagline. Well, I mean.. not the thing about cereal, I made that up.

Chant: And past there... Into my Ultimate Control Room of Doom.

Biz: It's just like the Control Room of Doom we all know and love, but without all that complicated continuity! Choo Choo, all aboard the Reference Train, right? Haha. Can you keep up with me, Oh Great Doctor of Destruction?

Chant: Your references are lost on me, fool. I was too busy plotting to destroy the universe while you were apparently reading People Weekly.

Biz: More like People WEAKLY, right? As in People will WEAKLY cry when you smash them under your iron fist! Weakly. With an "A" instead of a "double-e."

Chant: You continue to speak and I continue to want to peel your face off, and yet... I find myself tolerating you. What have I created?

Biz: Isn't it awesome? I'm a hit at parties. Well, except with the ladies. The girls don't find me all that alarmingly charming, which... just figures. Fortunately, I have enough natural charisma to make up for it. *shrug* But that's my cross to bear, right?

Postal Robot #875: We have finished the patch to the robot known as TTT.

Postal Demon #3712: Actually… I think he’s an android.

Postal Robot #875: Whatever. It’s on the big screen, sir.

Biz: Hey, your robots are SASSY. I never noticed that before. And wow… is that a plasma screen? *starts turning dials* Psh. You can make gadgets that can do anything and all we have is basic cable. What's a Top Assistant to The Future Ruler of the Universe gotta do to get a little VH1 Classic up in here?

Chant: Finally! The end of the JLR is at hand… And I get to watch… *Chant wills a comfy chair into a existence just behind him and then takes a seat* I need popcorn.

[The screen comes into focusing and the foursome of Ace, Fused, Kaz and SMM stand defiantly in front of the prone Jay Orin. The two sides of the JLR converge on one another.]

Chant: This is wonderful!

Biz: Hey, what's up with that monkey guy? What's that about?

Chant: If you say ONE more word, I am tying you outside.

[Biz looks around the room at the postal minions as they operate the space station. After a few moments, he starts to tap his foot.]

Biz: *whistles*

Chant: Can you not do that?

Biz: Of course, Mayhem... Maker... Guy... Master.

Jay, SMM, Fused, Kaz, and Ace all stand awaiting the coming battle. For a moment all that is heard is the heavy breathing from Jays long run. She wipes sweat from her brow and gets back into fighting postition.

Suddenly a crack is heard outside. The building rumbles as the foundation is torn away. The floor splinters apart. Standing before the JLR a monstorous wooden figure looms over them.

Ace- Cen- Centurian?

Centurian- Not quite. I go by the name Mosseltoe!

Branches sprout from his limbs and stab into Aces shoulder.

Ace- Gah!

Kaz- Superdude-twig-ripping-powers activate!

Kaz leaps between Ace and Mosseltoe and karate chops the limbs. He pulls the branches out of Ace and waves them in Mosseltoes face.

Kaz- Lets see how you like it buddy!

Fused- KAZ WATCH OUT!

Fused leans in and pulls Kaz out of the monsters way as it strikes down and slams through the empty air.

Ace tosses card after card at the giant tree. Sticking deep into his side Mosseltoe sweeps them away with a wave of his limbs.

SMM- I've got an idea. Fused turn your arm on full blast! JLR cover your ears!

Fused flips the switch and shoots a wave of euphoric beams at the beast as he overheats in the burning sensuality. Bursting into flames he lets out a surprised gasp.

SMM- Haha... Got him!

Plrssst

A stream of water splashes onto the tree and extinguishes the flames. The stream switches direction and blasts at Fuseds hand shorting out his bionic arm. Doog stands in the doorway with Registered Member and TTT.

Jay- Uh oh....

RM swings a scepter in his hand and smacks SMM across the head. SMM flies across the room and reverts back to his human form. Jay jumps in and grabs the scepter. RM presses a button on the scepter and shoots out a beam of energy. The beam blasts out from Jays fingers and knocks her to the ground.

A single card flies through the air at lightning quick speed. TTT turns his head to observe the cards trajectory.

TTT- Incoming card. Ace of Spades. Impact with scepter in five, four, three, two....

Suddenly TTT flicks out his wrist and catches the card between his middle and index finger.

Ace- Damn I can't get through to them.

Kaz- Quick guys get behind the couch. I've got a plan.

Ace SMM Fused and Jay dive behind the couch. Kaz runs into the kitchen. A moment later he runs out carring the toaster and a bucket of water.

Kaz- Watch it Time Trust, or the toaster gets it!

TTT flicks the Ace of Spades from his hand to the cord of the toaster and snaps it. The toaster splashes down into the pool of water and fizzles a bit before dying.

Fused- You monster!

Nuriko appears behind Kaz and smacks him with her purse (fully loaded with makeup) tossing him into a pile with whats left of the JLR. SMM takes feral form again but seeing the futility of another attack crouches down with the rest of the team as the evil JLR surround them.

Meanwhile in the dark mystical Crypt of Infinity located deep in a Mayan Temple, tombs surrounding the crypt rumble to life. The tombs slowly open revealing their contents. Light pours from the four tombs into the crypt. A skeleton lingers inside of one tomb. A voice coming from somewhere around the skeleton shouts to the other three tombs.

Sockrates- Awaken brothers, after all these long years the Infinity Sock has once again fallen into the wrong hands. As the protectors of the sock is it our job to ensure the safety of man and sock alike!

Arisockles- Yes brother, but I fear too much time may have passed. As you can see our champions of yester-year have withered away and rotted. And as you know we are powerless without a host.

The skeleton lifts his arm but the bones quickly break and crack into dust.

Sockrates- Well, damn. So it would seem. But it is of no consequence. As the Guardians of the Sock we shall seek new champions to defend the innocents from the power of the Sock.

Confusock- But who Brother?

Hippsockrotes- Yes, who is worthy of our help?

A vision hovers over the dead bodies of the Guardians. The JLR under attack and lying waiting for the kill.

Sockrates- Here are our champions! The JLR! We must move swiftly though, Brothers, for they are in danger!

Four small crescent shaped figures soar out of the crypt and into the night sky toward their champions.

Back with the JLR the five evilly influenced members inch closer and closer to the team. Huddled together they raise their hands to fend off the attack and close their eyes to try and shake off the thought of IMPENDING DOOM!

Suddenly four bits of cloth wrap themselves around four of our heroes hands. Ace, Kaz, Fused, and Jay open their eyes and to their surprise see four sock puppets on their hands.

SMM still crouched in the fetal ferral position- Are we dead yet?

Ace- What the hell?!?

SMM opens his eyes- Hey why don't I get one?

Sockrates (Ace's sock puppet) - Don't just sit there m'boy. Attack!

With a gestural wave, Ace motions his sock up to his face. Mystic energy surrounds his sock-covered arm and with a flick of a wrist, a poster-sized ace of spades appears in his hand surrounded with a yellow electric energy field.

Ace: Whoa.

Mosseltoe: This matters not! You weak, pathetic 2nd tier heroes know in you hearts I hold Centurian's power! True power to destroy you all!!!

Ace: Hey kiddo. Quiet. Daddy's talkin'.

Ace flings his mystic ace with the ease of a small playing card. It sears through the air then cuts through Mosseltoe diagonally from the hip to the opposite shoulder.

Mosseltoe: Im--Impossible!

Mosseltoe then splits in two with his upper torso sliding off his waist at the slice as his appendages flop and fail as he crumbles to the floor divided.

Jay Orin: . . . .

Kaz: . . . Dude!!!

Fused: Dude you just sliced Centurian in fucking HALF!

Kaz: Diagonally!

Ace: Agh! I didnt know the card would have so much power! I didnt mean to kill 'im!

Kaz: Diagonally!

The front door then bursts wide open.

Jade Starlight: Oh my GOD!!!

Darren Messenger: What goes on here?!

Evil Stupid Doog: THIS! ! !

An intense blindingly bright lazer flashes from Doog's hydro-weaponry. Jade watches in horror as she sees the assailant through the hole melted through the head of Darren Messenger. A jar of salsa drops to the floor and a second more intense blast of energy fires from Doogs super-gun that cleans Darrens head from his shoulders. Left arm. Then a hole through his chest.

Evil Stupid Doog: Your green glowies not gonna save him from that you jailbait pop-tart. Sweet dreams.

Fused: NOOO! !!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doog's weapon explodes as all in the room cover their ears. A sonic boom thunders crashing all glass windows rumbling foundation, de-hinging doors, knocking those in the room to the floor as some bleed from their ears.

Confusock: I grant you the power, agent of justice. Rise, Confusedock Prime.

Confusedock Prime: Optimuusss. . .

The man once known as Fused curls his hands to his side then releases booming energy from his palms one after another as each singular force blows the evil JLR out one by one crashing though walls and shattered windows to the yards outside.

Confusedock Prime: Think this place is compromised. We've got to bounce, NOW. JLR, transform, and roll--

Kaz: Man I havent even got to use my sock yet.

Confusedock Prime grabs Jade and slings her over his shoulder, booms from his feets and exits the hole through the wall. Ace, Jay, Nuriko and SMM soon follow.

Kaz: Dude this is weak. This means Jay has ungodly super-powers. . . AGAIN!!

He then secures his sock over his fist then casually exits the scene of mayhem.

Evil RM552: Quit your crying Ill build you a better gun. T3, you still have a bead?

Evil T3: Targets are positioned. Mission: Disassemble.

Evil T3: Targets now airborne. Moving at speeds approaching the sound barrier.

Evil Doog: Airborne? Since when do they fly?

High above the city in the bright morning skies our heroes flee the fight looking for a place to stop and get some answers...

Kaz: WooHOOOOO! Since when do we fly?

Arisockles: You do not fly human! This is by our will that you should rise into the heavens and our will alone!

Kaz: Wow! Someone sure is a cocky-sock!

Fused: Hehe...

Arisockles: You dare mock me...

Sockrates: What's going on back there?

Arisockles: The human mocks me!

Ace: Dude, please don't mock the sock...

Kaz: He started it!

Arisockles: Allow us to demonstrate our powers for you.

The six heroes drop to the ground...

Ace: We should know what we're working with. That sounds like a good idea; even if it did come from the cocky-sock...

JLR: Hehehe...

Jay: And perhaps we could get some answers. Like what the hell are you things?

Sockrates: We are not things; we are the protectors of the Infinity Sock and-

Fused: Nevaheardofit!

SMM unwraps himself from Jay as Fused sets down Jade softly in the grass.

Jade: My hero!

Fused: Uh... okay....

Hippsockrotes: It's not surprising that you've not heard of the sock. Few have and most that have believe it to be nothing more than legend.

Sockrates: And as I've stated we are the socks protectors. The socks power is limitless. It could reshape the entire universe if its possessor so wished. We have been reawakened due to the sock landing into EVILS uncomforatable lap!

Ace: Chant!

Jay: Yes...

Fused: And you guys can help us?

Confusock: We can work to amplify your powers. And lend you a few otheres of course. Did you think you sonic boomed that room back there by yourself? With your fryed arm?

Ace: And the card? That was you?

Sockrates: Of course. Not exactly my idea of a good time spitting those cards out of my mouth but it certainly got the job done.

Jay: But you killed our teammates.

Sockrates: We do what we must to save the sock.

Ace: But I can't even control my hand anymore!

SMM quickly darts his head from left to right and lowers his finger from his nose.

SMM, eyes up in thought, defensively: Uhhh... YEAH, ME NEITHER!

Hippsockrotes: That is because we have taken control of those arms. Except of course for monkey-boy and the girl there that is.

SMM: LYING SOCKS!

Jay: Denial: Not just a river in Egypt anymore. I'm sorry to inform you socks, as I am sure you are aware, you are dealing with the fact that I am drained of all of my powers. That poses a bit of a problem.

Hippsockrotes: As we have been saying, we are giving you our...

Jay: Powers, yes I know. But what noone seems to realize that Annilation is in the infinity sock.

Kaz: Yeah, and? What is so scary about that?

JLR and the Sock Guardians: Yeah, and , so?

Jay: When Annilation is good and ready, she can make Chant seem like a panty waist.

Meanwhile, in Chant's Helicarrier...

Biz Money is still talking, and Chant still wants to peel Biz's face off, but refrains because Biz is alamingly charming.

Biz Money:...the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

Suddenly the Sock starts to vibrate violently, and out comes a mist, which becomes a form. The form is wearing a black, gold, and silver hooded dress. It pulls back the hood to reveal a wild haired latina female with incredibly yellow eyes. Not to mention a pair of ...were those...triple Ds?

Chant: Who the hell are you?

Annilation: I'm hurt. You seem to have forgotten me already, Chant.

Chant: Oh, yeah, you were that mysterious chick that turned into that mysterious dude that tied me up in the DQ.

Annilation: Most call me Annilation, but yeah, that will do. I would like to join forces with you.

Chant: The last time that I asked, you refused.

Annilation: Yeah, but I was tied to a conscience at the time. I assure you that I am not tied to one now. Besides, who wouldn't want to team up with such a handsome, sexy, imposing figure such as yourself.

Biz: I don't know boss, somehow, I don't think that she is trust worthy.

Chant turns away to think.

Chant: Hmmm, Let's see, I have a goodlooking female that just sprang from my sock, and I have a fool who is only alive because he is alamingly charming.

Chant turns back to them.

Chant: Sorry Biz, I go with her.

Biz: (Looks hurt) Why?

Chant: Girl with nice urr assets. Sorry dude.

Meanwhile, in a small section of Purgatory...

WEDESDAY: Where in the heck am I. (Sits on a couch) Kind of reminds me of MST3K

Gob Almighty is in his Frankenfuter form.

GOB ALMIGHTY: singing
A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds
Will get sand in his face
When kicked to the ground;
And soon in the gym with a determined chin,
The sweat from his pores as he works for his cause
Will make him glisten ...and gleam.
And with massage, and just a little bit of steam,
He'll be pink and quite clean
He'll be a strong man. Oh honey...

But the wrong man.

He'll eat nutritious high protein. And swallow raw eggs...
Try to build up his shoulders, his chest, arms, and... legs.
Such an effort if he only knew of my plan.
In just seven days...

I can make you a man.
He'll do press-ups, and chin-ups, do the snatch, clean and jerk.
He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work.
Such strenuous living I just don't understand,
When in just seven days, oh baby, ...I can make you a man.

Gob Almighty see Wednesday, smirks, and dances over too him. Wednesday is too shocked to do anything.

GOB: (Continues)
But a deltoid and a bicep.
A hot groin and a tricep.
Makes me, oooh, shake,
Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the...ha-ha-hand.

In just seven days I can make you a man.

I don't want no dissention, just dynamic tension.

I'm a muscle fan.

In just seven days, I can make you a man
Dig it if you can
In just seven days, I can make you a man.


Gob runs to the couch and looks as if he is about to dogpile Wendnesday. Wendnesday gets over his shock and jumps off the couch. Gob jumps onto the couch anyways, and turns into...David Hyde Pierce?

GOB: Heh heh heh heh heh, Meta humans are just too damn easy.

WEDNESDAY: Who, or what the hell are you? And sorry, bro, but I just don't swing that way.

GOB: Who asked if you did? I just wanted to see the look on your face when I did that to you. (buisinesslike, pulls out a list.) Okay, what is your name?

WEDNESDAY: Meta Human, or birth?

GOB: Either.

WEDNESDAY: Jason E. Perkins, otherwise known as Wednesday, otherwise known as Any Given Wednesday, or AGW.

GOB: Let's see...OH CRAP!

WEDNESDAY: What?

GOB: He's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill me...

WEDNESDAY: Who's gonna kill you?

GOB: God is going to kill me, oh crap I screwed up bigtime...

WEDNESDAY: Why would God kill you?

GOB: Well, you are, for want of a better word dead.

WEDNESDAY: What do you mean dead?

GOB: Die: To kick the bucket, to buy the farm, to drop the cue, to go for one's tea, to cut one's cable of life, to hop the twig, to bite the dust, to go belly up....

WEDNESDAY: Alright...

GOB:...expire, perish; meet one's death, meet one's end; pass away, be taken; yield one's breath, resign one's breath; resign one's being, resign one's life; end one's days, end one's life, end one's earthly career; breathe one's last; cease to live, cease to breathe; depart this life; be no more; go off, drop off, pop off; lose one's life, lay down one's life, relinquish one's life, surrender one's life; drop into the grave, sink into the grave; close one's eyes; fall dead, drop dead, fall down dead, drop down dead; break one's neck; give up the ghost, yield up the ghost; be all over with one...

WEDNESDAY: That enough...

GOB:...pay the debt to nature, shuffle off this mortal coil, take one's last sleep; go the way of all flesh; hand in one's checks, pass in one's checks, hand in one's chips, pass in one's chips [U.S.]; join the greater number, join the majority; come to dust, turn to dust; cross the Stygian ferry, cross the bar; go to one's long account, go to one's last home, go to Davy Jones's locker, go to the wall; receive one's death warrant, make one's will, step out, die a natural death, go out like the snuff of a candle; come to an untimely end; catch one's death; go off the hooks, turn up one's toes...

WEDNESDAY: ALRIGHT I GET IT! I DIED!

GOB: Sorry. But here is the problem. You aren't supposed to die for quite a few years.

Whilst Wednesday confronts issues of mortality (namely his own), and Chant and Annihilation formulate plans, the JLR are currently in hiding

SMM: Now, I'm sure that we all agree that the most important thing that needs to be done, now that Wednesday has snuffed it...I mean passed away, is resolvign the leadership issue.

Kaz: I say Ace. He's waaay more experienced than the rest of us.

SMM: Hey, I was talking...

Fused: Yeah, I can dig that. Ace, you're in charge.

SMM: Helloo, is anybody listening to me?

Confusock: I agree, Ace should lead. Sockrates is chief of the Infinity Sock Protectors, and our leaders should be united. Plus, fiddling around with sock switching would just slow us down even more, and I'm getting bored...

SMM: Could I just say...

Ace: Right, here's how I see it: We just aren't strong enough to tackle Chant head-on, and without Britannica we're well and truly screwed plan-wise.

SMM: Where is Brit anyway?

Jay: Where is Brit anyway?

SMM: I just said that!

Something was wrong.

It wasn't sure what was wrong. But something didn't feel right.

It didn't know where it was or who it was or what it was. For that matter, it didn't even know when, why or how it was either.

It tried to open it's eyes. But nothing happened. Did it have eyes to open? Well it knew about eyes, so it must have... at some stage of its existance anyway.

But how did it know that? The first thing it remembers was... now.

It tried to stand up. Nothing happened. It's body felt like an incredibly heavy and immovable object. Which is when it realised it wasn't laying against anything. How could an incredibly heavy and immovable object be suspended in... nothing?

There was no noise. Not even it's breathing or a beating of it's heart.

This wasn't right.

It tried to remember. How did it get here? Into this world of dark intangible silence?

But it couldn't.

Not at first...

Then an image forced itself into his mind's eye. His? Slowly other images pushed forward fighting for supremacy, soon more and more images flashed and hurtled along his brain.

It hurt. Was that good or bad? At least he felt some form of sensation now.

But it got worse.

Terrible images. Of terrible creatures... Overlords! Hounding and proding and poking. Demanding subservance. Enforcing petty and meaningless toil... But why? What for!?! Perhaps he could think of...

NO! NO THINKING!!! ONLY DOING!!!!

Thinking and learning are evils that must be eliminated.

But why? Surely existance was not ment to be like this? What's the point?

SILANCE!!!!

Pain. Again. Was this all this world had to offer? Missery and pain?

Was he alone in the universe? The only being who wanted to think and learn and dream and create?

Wait.

There are others.

They seem familiar.

Do I know them? They appear to be very strange... people? Yes, people. Yes they are strange. But unique. Individuals! Individuals from many different backgrounds and times... and realities!

They have fought much adversity. They have endurded through good times and bad. Despite their differences, or because of them?

There are others willing to fight oppression and darkness.

Am I one of them?

NO!

I mean yes...

But the great evil has decended upon these champions, causing a schism. Once more there is death and destruction.

Why?

What can I do?

I am only one man...

I am one man...

with something to offer this universe... this reality!

I will not sit idle as....

*WHACK*

Evil RM552 looked down at the once more unconscios Britannica. "That was close." Satisfied that all was well, he walked from the room polishing his sceptre.

The next thing Britannica knows is that he is standing behind Registered Member 552, who is crouching over a body lying on the floor. RM552 appears to be checking the body for something, but Britannica can’t make out whom the body belongs to.

Brit: Hey RM! What’s happening?

But Registered Member 552 ignores the Superhero Librarian.

Brit: I said, Hey RM! What’s happening?

But the Mighty Monarch continues to ignore him. Just then The Time Trust, Dogg and Centurian enter the room.

Brit: Ah, hello chaps, perhaps you can…?

Evil T3: What is his condition?

Evil RM552: I didn’t clobber him that hard. I think he’s dead.

Brit: [looking around confused] Who’s dead? What’s going on here?

Evil T3: That is most regrettable. His knowledge would have been a great asset to our cause.

Evil Dogg: But now we have one less enemy to oppose us.

Evil T3: True. Speaking of enemies, we must deal with the remaining JLR. Come.

It was then that Registered Member 552 stood up, revealing to Britannica the identity of the body…
Britannica!

Brit: Ruddy Heck! That’s me!

It was only then that Britannica realised he wasn’t standing on the floor, but on a surfboard hovering above the floor.

Brit: Hmmm… that doesn’t happen every day. I don’t even surf…

Just then the surfboard shoots off towards the wall, carrying Britannica along with it.

Brit: [covering his eyes] Eek!

But Britannica passes harmlessly through the wall and finds himself shooting up through the Earth’s atmosphere, into space, then into what can only be described as a rent in the fabric of time and space.

Brit: I’m in a tunnel… with a bright light at the end. Good grief! Am I really dead? I didn’t even have time to say goodbye to Di Bat Pho…

After a moment’s contemplation about the wife he has left behind, all the things he achieved and what he had hoped to achieve…

[Brit: Hang on. I’ve read many accounts about near death experiences, but none of them have mentioned surfboards before.

But before he has an opportunity to figure out the mysteries of the afterlife, a voice calls out to Britannica

Voice: Britannica!

Britannica turns to face the source of the voice.

Brit: Wednesday! What are you doing here? Oh no, does this mean you’re dead too? Actually, where is here?

Wed: Purgatory, man.

Brit: Purgatory, huh? I suppose that explains the hot tub you’re in. After all, purgatory is supposed to be place where souls are supposed to be cleansed. But that doesn’t explain the three attractive scantly clad young ladies in there with you.

Wed: Consider it compensation. I wasn’t supposed to die. But what brings you here?

Brit: Well from what I can make out, Registered Member 552 hit me over the head with his sceptre.

Wed: That’s a pretty lame way to die, dude.

Brit: How’d you die, then?

Wed: Chant ripped my head off.

Brit: Chant ripped your head off?

Wed: Like I said, I wasn’t supposed to die.

Just then Gob Almighty materialises.

GA: Hey Wednesday, how’s everything? Hope it’s all to your satisfaction… Britannica! What the hell are you doing here?

Brit: Apparently Registered Member 552 hit me over the head and here I am.

Gob Almighty consults the books. Looking more distraught the further he reads.

GA: Oh great… Not again!

Brit: Is there a problem?

GA: You’re not supposed to be dead either. God’s gonna have my balls.

Brit: Don’t worry. Everyone makes mistakes.

Wed: Dude, you’re taking this very well.

Brit: Probably shock. I’m sure it’ll wear off. [turning to Gob Almighty] Though, I am curious to know why a surfboard brought me here? Sure I’m Australian, but I’ve never been associated with the sport before.

GA: Surfboard? [Gob Almighty looks at the surfboard] This is great!

Brit and Wed: It is?

GA: You can go back! Use the surfboard to go back. Find your friends. Stop Chant and the evil JLR.

Brit: Oh, OK. Coming Wednesday?

Wed: Sure, why not.

GA: Ah… I’m afraid that won’t be possible.

Brit & Wed: Why not?

GA: Mystery of the afterlife, man.

Brit & Wed:

GA:

Brit: [shaking his dead team-mate’s hand] Well Wednesday, it’s been great. We’ll get Chant for you and make sure the others come back to the path of righteousness.

Wed: Yeah, it’s been sweet.

After a moment of awkwardness the two friends embrace, patting each other on the back. They pull away looking embarrassed under Gob Almighty’s gaze.

Wed: Hey, don’t judge us! We’re never gonna see each other again.

Brit: Don’t worry Wednesday, if there’s a way, we’ll try and get you back.

Wed: [climbing back into the hot-tub] Yeah, well don’t hurry, you hear me. [Wednesday gives Britannica a wink, as the three women snuggle up against him]

With that Britannica steps back onto the surfboard, which shoots back off towards Earth and what remains of the JLR.

Brit: Hey guys!

SMM: Look it’s Britannica!

Fused: Hey look, it’s Britannica!

SMM: That’s what I said…

Brit: Look there’s no time. Wednesday’s dead.

Ace: Yeah, we know.

Brit: Oh. And half the JLR has turned evil.

Kaz: Yeah. We know that too.

Brit: Oh… And did you know you’re flying with sock puppets on your hands?

Fused: Yep.

Brit: Oh.

SMM: One thing we don’t know is why you’re translucent and riding a surfboard?

Brit: Oh this… [looks down at the surfboard] From now on, just call me Britannica Online!

Jay: Okay, now, I hate to be repetitive, but Annilation is out in the world, and she has no conscience to hold her back.

Britannica Online: What makes Annilation so dangerous?

Ace: Yeah, you told us that she makes Chant look like a panty waist (not like it's that hard), but you never explained how.

Jay: Well, this is going to be a lomg story, so while I tell you guys this incredible and amazing story, my author will switch to Annilation interacting with Chant. You see, in the beginning, there was Also, who created Firia, otherwise known as Love...

In the meantime...

Chant: You mean I can't gloat even a little bit?

Annilation: That gives the heroes a chance to regroup, gather forces, or gives time for some non-entity character to save them, or give them a chance to save themselves. Bad idea.

Chant: I admit that the faking a weakness was brillant, but what is this about consorts? And the one about not making alliances with those more powerful than me?

Annilation: (Smirks) Here, let me show you...

(Annilation gathers her powers together and blasts Chant with a force so powerful that all that is left is a pair of shoes.)

Annilation: Now nothing can stop me from becoming the most powerful being in the whole world!!!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

Turns to Biz Money

Annilation: Now, how am I going to take care of you...


In the meantime in Purgatory/Satellite of Love...

Gob Almighty sees Chant standing, smoking (not a cigarette, I mean smoking with char marks) and looking slightly pissed.

Gob Almighty: Let's see, Chant, also not supposed to be dead. Greeat
So, who killed you off?

Chant: A beatiful, evil, two timing wench with yellow eyes?

Gob Almighty(giving Chant a look that is somewhere between worry and relief): Does she have tan skin, wild hair, and a rack to die for?

Chant: (smiles slightly, who could stay mad at such a nice pair of breasts?) Triple Ds.

Gob Almighty: Yes! That means that this isn't MY screw up! Hell, no wait, that means...

Wednesday: (with a beautiful girl on each arm) What's up, GA?

Gob Almighty: Life as we know it is over.


Back with the heros and the socks...

Britannica Online: Wow. So Annilation is really Betrayal, an element older than most Gods, and she wants to control the whole world?

Jay: Yep, that's about the size of it.

SPAMM: Wow, I like the way we switched to that interesting bit of dialogue in heaven whilst we were hearing the story.

Kaz: Wow, I like the way we switched to that interesting bit of dialogue in heaven whilst we were hearing the story.

SPAMM: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

On Chant's Helicarrier....


Biz: - after that, I started really working out. Get back to fight weight, ya know?

Annihilation: You DO realize that your powers won't work on women, right?

Biz: Yeah, but you DID stop and listen, didn't you?

Annihilation: That only stalls the inevitable.

Biz: Really?

Biz reaches down into the shoes that were left from Annihilation's blast that sent Chant into the afterlife. He grabs both socks, just to be sure, and slaps them on his tootsies.

Annihilation: Ugh. That's it.

Summoning up her power, Annihilation looks to repeat her offensive strike. And while Biz isn't the sharpest ass in the pants, he WAS an Intern for Chant at one point, so he's not a complete idiot. At the last possible moment, Biz creates a mirror with the power of the Infinity Sock.

Annihilation's blast strikes the mirror and reflects back. The ensuing explosion sends glass shards everywhere. And Annihilation is nowhere to be seen.

Biz: Whoo hoo!! I did it!

Biz looks around all the slaving mail minions and the massive innards of Chant's helicarrier. No, wait. HIS helicarrier. A smile touches his lips.

Biz: Hell yeah.

*********************************************************

Kaz: That's a swank board.

Britannica Online: Thanks!

Spandex Monkey Man: So, about this threat-

Fused: What are we gonna do about Chant or... Annihilation... or whatever?

Sockrates: We will have to take the fight to him...her... them.

Ace: How?

Kaz: Hey, Jay Orin! You're turning invisible.

Jay: What?

SMM: And we can barely hear you.

Jay: I'm.... fading away!! No! Something must have happened to Annihilation! I'm... blinking... out... of.... existence.....

The sock on her arm slips off but SMM deftly snatches it from the air and slips it on.

SMM: Finally. About da-

Ace: So... did Jay just die?

Kaz/Fused: *shrug*

Brit-O: Listen, I think I know a way we can get past the helicarrier's defenses and still be able to launch an attack.

Sockrates: How?

Brit-O: Follow me. Back to the Farmhouse.

****************************************************************

Purgatory.... A sudden flash fills the room and suddenly, Wednesday and GOB Almighty are staring at Annihilation Lee/Jay Orin.

Annihilation stomps and throws a tantrum while the other two look on.

Wednesday: Let me guess. She ain't supposed to be here either.

GA: Actually, no. That one's right.

With a wave of his finger, GOB Almighty summons a lightning bolt to strike Annihilation and she disappears entirely.

Chant: Nice shot. *nods approvingly*

****************************************************************

The EVIL JLR are enroute to catch their one-time companions....

T3: We're getting closer, my sensors are picking them up, they've changed course.

Evil Doog: Which way are they headed?

T3: Let's see... oh. This way.

RM: What?

T3: They're headed straight for us.

Evil Doog: Get ready! Evil attack formation!

Just as the EVIL JLR get into position, the GOOD JLR appear in the sky.... and zoom right past them.

Evil Doog: I... What?... Damn it!

The EVIL JLR watch as the GOOD JLR flies out of sight.

*************************************************************

The Farmhouse of Justice....

Arisockles: What is this plan?

Brit-O: I'm going to need everyone to help. JLR and socks combined.

SMM: But, we still don't know what we're sup-

Kaz: What do you want us to do?

SMM: Ya know, it was funny when it happened to TTT.. now? Not so much.

Brit-O: We're going to make the Farmhouse space-worthy.

Fused: What the #$&@?

Ace: Why?

Hippsockrotes: I see!

Sockrates: As do I! It's genius nearly on our level!

Brit-O: Thank you... I think.

Kaz: Wow, I'm clearly an idiot. I have no idea what the hell is going on.

Hippsockrotes: See, making the Farmhouse of Justice into the Farmhouse Satellite Tower of Justice In Space-

Brit-O: Or FSTJS for short.

Sockrates: We can launch an offensive from close enough to the helicarrier and we have someplace to fall back to if our attack is repelled.

Kaz: Oh. Well... that DOES sound like a good idea.

Fused: %&#@ Yeah!

SMM: No sense just standing arou-

Ace: Let's get to it, team!

SMM: Seriously. Not funny anymore.

Sometime later, in the control room of doom on Chant's Helicarrier.

Biz Money: Bosom Buddies!

Postal Robot #875: That is correct. *sigh*

Postal Demon #487: Dammit! You're like an unstoppable force of pop culture knowledge!! And I'm not just saying that because you're curbstomping us in Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture. I'm also saying it because you can erase me from existence.

Biz: *blushing* Ah, c'mon. Stop it. It's still close! I mean, you guys are only like three wedges away from tying this thing up!

Postal Robot #232: Supreme Commander of Epic Coolness, your Highness.

Biz: *throwing down the dice in anger* You forgot Lord of Awesome!

Postal Robot #232: *cowering in fear* On the radar, a massive blip as appeared.

Biz: What?

Postal Robot #232: Look there! Looks like... a barn?

Biz: Oh. Oh, dear.

The Farmhouse of Justice is now in orbit around the Earth. Its newly added plasma beams are firing on Chant's Space Helicarrier.

Kaz: I love epic space battles as much as the next guy but how do we get over there to lay the beat down?

Brittanica Online: I think I can build a teleportation device based on a theory that folds space and time onto itself but if I do it wrong we'll end up in a pocket dimension.

Fused: Well, fuck that.

Ace: There's no time! The Farmhouse can't stand up to Chant's Helicarrier.

SMM: Can't something just shoot us over there? Like... a torpedo?

Jade Starlight: Yeah, just present the torpedo as a gift! It'll be like a Trojan torpedo!

Kaz/Fused/Ace: Uh....

Brit-O: Brilliant! We'll take the explosives out of a torpedo and we'll all ride it over!

Jade: Insert and ride the Trojan Torpedo!!!

Moments later....
Jade carefully stuffs the JLR in one by one as each member moans in slight discomfort yet odd arousal. She blasts them off and the torpedo sails across the star speckled scape.

Ace: So much for lubin' up first.

Kaz: Whose idea was this again? I think I just stepped in donkey shit.

Buttercup: Actually, that's mine.

Fused: Man, 'the hell did we bring the A.S.K. Force with us?

Brit-O: We need all the help we can get, now settle down! We're almost there.

Meanwhile, on the helicarrier...

Postal Demon #232: Sir, they've fired a torpedo!

Biz: Fire the anti-torpedo torpedo!

Back in the Trojan Torpedo...

SMM: They've fired an anti-torpedo torpedo! We're doomed!

Fused: This fucking sucks.

Esmarelda: You said it, brother.

Fused:

Brit-O: No worries! *into his communicator* Jade, fire the anti-anti-torpedo-torpedo torpedo!

SMM: Aren't they all just torpedos?

After a rocky ride, the JLR's Trojan Torpedo slams into the Control Room of Doom. The JLR and the A.S.K. Force leap into action in front of a stunned Biz.

SMM: Right, folks. Get it together. JLR ASS- -

Napoleon: HEE-HAWWW!!

BRIT-O: Fall in line! JLR ASSEMBLE!

SMM:

The JLR start to kick various Postal Demon and Robot ass while Biz tries to remove them all from reality but fails.

Biz: It would seem that my omnipotence is overshadowed only by my charmingness! Who can withstand infinitely charming omipresent omnipotence???

And with a simple gesture Biz Money waves his hand. . .


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile on the a peace-loving planet of Asparagus people. . .

Azperoso: Hotter today then usual, eh? Somethings blocking the sun.

Callie Floura-9: That a flaming comet?


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


Biz: Okay, I clearly can't figure out this whole omnipresence thing. I need a.... a way to control it. Wait!

Biz blinks a computer desk into existence. It's a pretty sweet setup. He quickly sits down and starts messing with the code of reality like it were a MMORPG.

Biz: Dammit! I can't create anymore mass in this reality. I need to open up some character slots. Ah! I got it. These three? Who needs 'em? DELETED!!

Buttercup, Napolean and Esmeralda blink out of existence.

Brit-O: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

Biz: Now, let's jazz this up a bit.

Biz boots up City of Villains.

Suddenly, three new foes turn to face the JLR. Laser Scar, a commando and warrior with a wicked scar, naturally from a laser. Electric Lizard, reptile controller of the digital world. And Lunatic Fist... a crazy asskicker.

SMM: Brit, Ace you handle whoever's got the sock. Leave these guys to me and da boyz.

SMM leaps into stretchy action as a electric bolt narrowly missed him from the Electric Lizard's claws. Fused powered up his sonic arm to blast Laser Scar. Kaz and Lunatic Fist faced off, feeling each other out for weaknesses for an ensuing beatdown.

Meanwhile, Brit races across the control room, knocking Postal Bots out of his way and slams into Biz. Ace drops into a dramatic pose and pulls out a Jack a' spades!


Ace: C'mon super sock power, don't fail me now!!

Once again, Ace creates an uber card and lets it fly. It slices the MMORPG computer in half. Diagonally.

Behind him, Kaz decks Lunatic Fist to the floor.

Kaz: Dude, Diagonally!!

The MMOPRG computer crackles with mini-lightning bolts. The JLR and Biz cover their eyes as the computer reaches critical mass and explodes.

The world burns to white. . .

Back in Barkhan Asylum for the Criminally insane in a bright white power disabling room. . .

Chant: You jerks couldn’t have just left well alone and left omnipotence to the EXPERIENCED could you. Newbies!

Annihilation: But imma gurl. I should be able to do whatever I wanna. Face it I'm 733t and UR teh n00b that makes it with teh suck. . . P43AR. . . *pouts* . . .

Chant: Bitch you needta pay yer dues around here before claiming almighty power. It’s not all about “me me me.”

Biz Money: Yeah I find it more enjoyable as a team effort. You’d be surprised how much fun you can have in the back seat. Uhhh . . .

Chant: Shut your yap! More like annoyingly charming!

Biz: So you *are* charmed!

Chant:

Annihilation: I have to say. That move you pulled was pretty slick. Why fight when you can make love? What were you saying about the back seat?

Annihilation straddles Biz, twisty curls his hair and heaves her humongous triple D’s onto his face smothering him.

Biz: I can’t charm you! That runs completely against my schtick!!! ***Murffle. .. Murff!***

Chant: Well aren’t we just a happy little rogues gallery. . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We now orbit the earth on the Farmhouse Satellite Tower of Justice In Space . . .

Britannica Online presses random buttons and screens on the main computer terminal. Kaz, Ace and the Spandex Monkey Man sit on the space couch in the back playing PS3 online multi-tap beside their new Nintendo Wii.

SMM: C’mon guys lets play with my Wii.

Ace:

Kaz: Dude Wii isn’t even a #*$@ing word. Whatcha got going on over there Brit-O?

Britannica Online: Well it seems all the JLRians on the FSTJS or the Farmhouse Satellite Tower of Justice In Space, or simply, the Fusty Juss, got rematerialized here after the MMORPG computer asploded. Seems the Infinity Socks had a master plan after all. It's also one year later now on this "New Earth"

Kaz: Well it has been a year since anyone's frikkin' posted. . .

Brit-O: Seems Chant, Annihilation, and Biz have been ported to a supervillain institution. And uhh. . . Fused is in jail too.

Kaz: What for?

Brit-O: Statutory Rape. Apparently Jade finally got to him.

Ace: Chant's gonna be pissed.

SMM: I thought she was legal!

Kaz: Apparently so did Fused.

Brit-O: Well the rest of the JLR are down at Earth too it seems. I’ve found Wednesday’s heat signature down there. . . and uh he seems to be accompanied with 2 very heated heat signatures!

Ace: Let’s gather all the founding JLR members and put the new members to a vote.

Brit-O: Chaps, I think its time we reassemble and reinvigorate the JLR!

SMM: Like Ultimate JLR?

Kaz: Just like the recognizable JLR everyone knows and loves, but without all the confusing continuity!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Epilogue:

Hybrid drives down in his Hybrid towards the old address of where the Farmhouse of Justice once was. He pulls up to the driveway and sees the exposed soil in the shape of the old Farmhouse.

Hybrid:. . . . . . Did I $%&ing miss something?!?!






~~FINI~~