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I started a new story. Kind of out of the blue. I'm hoping you'll like this one. Let me know.
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It has a good start. While I am not into sports at all, you did a fine job on describing how things occurred.
I will be curious as to how this story progresses.
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok. 
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'Nother chapter's up. Hope to have at least one more done before work.
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Second chapter : nicely written! I like the camraderie between the friends and the interaction with the parental units. You're setting the stage, the dance hall is rented... am waiting for the twists and surprises. So when do the Borg arrive? 
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Whoa! The story gets a LOT more interesting..but now, Joshua's life is turning to shit at the speed of light!
The story is progressing quite nicely, Phil... I am certain others will comment on it in time.
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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At least someone's commenting on it. The thread's only been around since last night, though - you gotta be patient when waiting for readers in this forum.
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I know about being patient in here. I see how my story thread, " Tales of The Champions", formerly called " My Short Stories", has gained a bit of a small following. My own writing needs a LOT of improvement.. and I feel I am a bit better now than I was in March when I started the story. I know working with 45 characters is crazy, which is why I like to break them up into smaller groups.
When the current story line is finally resolved, I'll get into solo stories and flesh out character's personalities more.
When did you first start writing? Who encouraged you to write? And who are your favorite authors?
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Will print this story out to read and comment on later.
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NEVER!
*edit*
Does this mean you're not posting in "Tabula Rasa" anymore?
Last edited by Chewy Walrus; 2006-11-14 4:17 AM.
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No, I'll post there too. I may even get a chapter or two written for Identify. The last time I took time off of the group story to write solo stuff, we ended up reinventing and then asploding the universe. I think I learned my lesson.
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Up to four chapters now. After 2:30 tomorrow, I don't work again until 5 Friday afternoon. There is a good chance I could finish this story by the end of the week.
I am open to whatever feedback you guys have.
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Things don't look so bright for Josh now, do they?
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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I'm up to about halfway through chapter 3. So far, so good. Granted, all of these characters talk just like you, but I suppose that's to be expected to some degree. I like the mystery regarding 'Uncle Jeff' at present (I'm not sure if anything gets resolved, as I haven't finished chapter 3 yet... much less read chapter 4) and am taken back (a bit) to my own high school days of hanging out with friends, etc.
I also wish my parents were as rich as Josh's to be able to buy me a 360, a PS2, a cell phone, and a car...
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get through 4 and you'll be shown the money.
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Quote:
Chewy Walrus said:
Granted, all of these characters talk just like you, but I suppose that's to be expected to some degree.
More people should talk like me. It would make them sound more respectable. And be taken seriously far less often.
Seriously, though, do they? I try to incorporate a little variety here and there. Though you're more likely to notice my idiosyncracies than people who only 'hear' me 'talk' on here. I'll try to branch out in future dialogue; it's hard to deviate too far from grammar and usage rules when they've been irretrievably hammered into your head by your speech-professor aunt. 
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There are bits and pieces of Random Crazy Stephen™ (now with realistic physical-comedy action!) in the character of Chad. In a general sense, I tried really hard not to base any of the characters on me. The approach I took - splitting it up and basing several of the characters around distinctly different aspects of my personality - sometimes creates an undesired resemblance (especially when they talk, it seems), but fortunately prevents any one character from becoming an outright manifestation of the author. I hope.
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Quote:
Captain Sammitch said:
In a general sense, I tried really hard not to base any of the characters on me. The approach I took - splitting it up and basing several of the characters around distinctly different aspects of my personality - sometimes creates an undesired resemblance (especially when they talk, it seems), but fortunately prevents any one character from becoming an outright manifestation of the author. I hope.
I did notice that (especially in the naming of your title character)... and I did pick up on several facets of your personality - music, gaming, self-perceived 'skill' with the ladies, adopted, etc. And, yeah, that may be a part of it... but I just noticed that everyone seems to use your personal slang, your particular 'meter' (which, admittedly, can be difficult to shake when you're writing), and the like.
Not saying this to drag you down - just making you aware.
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Quote:
Captain Sammitch said:
There are bits and pieces of Random Crazy Stephen™ (now with realistic physical-comedy action!) in the character of Chad.
Yeah, I was wondering if that was the case... I can see some Killconey in there, too.
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Would anyone read my stuff if all the characters had something of me in them? 
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I cannot answer that question, but I can tell you something that I do with my characters:
I try to limit how much of myself goes into any story I write, Phil.
Of course, there is some of me in a few of them, but I work at diffusing this by spreading parts of my personality through many characters.
Some of the characters are the way I would want to be.
Some behave in ways I would never behave, at least not under normal conditions.
And the evil ones are fun to write because you can experience being thoroughly evil vicariously, without having to suffer any consequences!
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Very nice twist in the story, Phil!
And I do see some of you in Joshua.
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Chewy pointed out that I have a problem sometimes with naming my characters after myself ( too much of me in them). I named the character of Joshua after my younger brother, and there's at least as much of my brother in Joshua as there is of myself, probably more. It's helped me break away a little, and besides, my brother's more heroic than myself IMO.
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Putting yourself and elements from your life into your stories is only natural. We write best when we are familar with our subject matter.
However, sometimes, it is good to try and get as far away from writing about yourself, Phil... Not completely, but at times, to be able to come up with new ideas. To challenge yourself.
I like your story.
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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So far, so good, Philsy. Keep it coming!
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Sorry for the fall-off in my posting rate of late. This past weekend started out with two hardware upgrades (which you can read about in Random Chat if you're THAT bored) and ended with happy riots downtown and a day off that I frittered away sleeping. I got a date tonight, but after that I'm gonna try and get 6 finished and 7 started, since I don't work again until tomorrow at 4:30.
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Posted. Hoping to get more done, but we'll have to see.
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Phil, that post today is superb!! I like it a lot!
Hoping you write more on this fine story very soon!
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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It'll depend on how much I get accomplished tomorrow.
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Another chapter of BRIGHT!
Coming soon!!
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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I just read the 1st part and I gotta say Sam-Mitch, great stuff. I love the style you're going with and I'm looking forward to reading more. You have some great set up in the first part and I like the lead from the get-go. Good work
Have you ever looked into a mirror and wondered if behind it was another world, the same... but totally different?- Reflection (2002) UTOPIAN PRODUCTIONS
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Thanks. I've been working with Poser again lately. This time it's a newer version with some updated and enhanced content. To give you some idea of what it can do, I thought I'd show you the cover I made for Bright #1 along with test renders of two characters...    Lemme know what you think.
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That's excellent, Phil!
Maybe your pics will inspire me to get off my lazy ass and draw and post pics of my characters in my stories, too.
Eventually.
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Chapter 7 posted. It's gotten to a point where everything is gonna have to flow seamlessly or I'll lose it.
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Chapter 7 is excellent, Phil! I enjoyed it immensly, and am looking forward to Chapter 8!
I like how Joshua is .. discovering his abilities, one by one....
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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