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#786048 2007-03-04 4:44 PM
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Poll: Majority of Americans Wish Bush Was a Fictitious Character
Loses to Easter Bunny, Aquaman in Theoretical Match-ups

In perhaps the most troubling sign yet for his presidency, a poll released today shows that a majority of Americans wish that George W. Bush was a fictitious character rather than a real person.

Mr. Bush’s popularity has taken some serious hits in recent months, but the new survey marks the first time that over fifty percent of respondents indicated that they wished the president was a figment of their imagination.

When asked the question, “If you could choose whether George W. Bush was a real person or a fictitious character,” 51% said “fictitious character” while only 42% said “real person,” with the remaining 7% responding, “George W. Bush is a fictitious character.”

Even more troubling for the president is the survey’s conclusion that in theoretical match-ups with other fictitious characters, Mr. Bush would be trounced.

According to the poll, which has a margin of error of 5 percentage points, if an election were held today between Mr. Bush and the superhero Aquaman, Mr. Bush would lose to Aquaman by a margin of two-to-one.

And Mr. Bush would suffer a similar fate in hypothetical face-offs with such other fictitious characters as the Little Mermaid, the Easter Bunny, and SpongeBob SquarePants.

At the White House, spokesman Tony Snow said the poll results were, in their own way, “good news” for the president.

“The American people want the president to be fictitious,” Mr. Snow said. “Well, his reasons for invading Iraq were fictitious, so he’s really meeting them halfway.”

Elsewhere, experts say that Britney Spears’ hair could fetch as much as $1 million, while her brain could go for $300.


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You, um, realize that the above piece is satirical, don't you?

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satire can be funny, g-man. don't be a douche.


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Yes, satire can be funny.

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Woo-hoo! I win!


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

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"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Uschi #786053 2007-03-04 5:38 PM
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I'm sorry to hear about your separation Ariel.


Pig Iran #786054 2007-03-04 5:42 PM
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Hi Ariel! How are you? I have missed you.


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death bring you the peace you never found in

life." - Tuvok.

Pig Iran #786055 2007-03-04 8:06 PM
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Quote:

Pig Iran said:
I'm sorry to hear about your separation Ariel.




Huh?


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Quote:

Beardguy57 said:
Hi Ariel! How are you? I have missed you.




I'm OK. I just needede to take a break from this place for awhile.


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Quote:

the G-man said:
You, um, realize that the above piece is satirical, don't you?




Your point is...?


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I'm Aquaman

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Quote:

Ariel AKA Warp said:
Quote:

the G-man said:
You, um, realize that the above piece is satirical, don't you?




Your point is...?




I think he means that your thread doesn't intend to incite serious poltical matters. Thus, it should go to random chat.

Pariah #786060 2007-03-04 9:42 PM
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Que Uschi: "I decide whether or not it's serious you gimp!"

Pariah #786061 2007-03-05 1:10 AM
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Fuckin' RIGHT I do!


Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
Pariah #786062 2007-03-05 4:11 AM
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Quote:

Pariah said:
I think he means that your thread doesn't intend to incite serious poltical matters. Thus, it should go to random chat.



Pariah #786063 2007-03-05 11:24 AM
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Quote:

Pariah said:
Quote:

Pariah said:
I enjoy the smell of bacon in the morning.






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Mmmmmmmm......bacon.


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allan1 #786065 2007-03-05 1:07 PM
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Yes allan?



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