RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Havok-Gauntlet for the Gold

*Havok opens with a photo montage recap of the events of Scammiversary, ending with video footage of Captain Sammitch leaving the Cheesedome following his loss to Joe Mama. We cut to Mike "The Mouth" Monroe and Madman MarcuM at ringside.*

Monroe: Fans, we have not seen or heard from Captain Sammitch since the end of Scammiversary last week. Captain, if you're out there, we miss you and we're all waiting for you to return. Come back to us.

MarcuM: The cheap heat quotient has seriously dropped in the Cheesedome this week!

Monroe: Well, I'm sure King Snarf will do his best to bring it back up again!

MarcuM: What? How dare you insult his royal personage?

Monroe: Tonight, fans, we'll have an amazing tag team Gauntlet for the Gold! Five teams will battle it out to determine the all new RDCW World Tag Team Champions!

MarcuM: It's gonna be great! The Otaku, The MWO, the English Bastards, the Fantasic Brothers, and the West Side Rollers!

Monroe: Plus, one on one, for the first time ever: King Snarf, after the events of the C.A.T.C.H., Doc Paragon has ordered Snarf to take on. . .are you ready for this?

MarcuM: Who is it? Who?

Monroe. . .Balls Nasty!!!

MarcuM:

Monroe: Plus the debut of the T & Angels!!!!

MarcuM: The T & Angels?

Monroe: Direct from Strippers & Waffles! Let's go to the ring!

*Havok's opening montage begins and as it finishes, we see in the ring, the T & Angels dancing!




World Tag Team Championship
Gauntlet for the Gold
The Otaku (Hiro & BFE) vs. The Fantastic Bros. vs. The MWO (Chevy Nova & Zod), vs. English Bastards vs. West Side Rollers (Krazed & BPT)


Singles Match
Johnny Evil vs. Spandex Monkey Man

GM Ordered Grudge Battle
Balls Nasty vs. King Snarf

* As the T & Angels entertain the fans in the Cheesedome, our camera cuts to Doc Paragon's office. King Snarf walks up to the door and knocks.

DP: Come in.

*Snarf opens the door and enters.

KS: So you wanted to see me about Scammiversary?

DP: Yes, yes I did. It's about your match. The C.A.T.C.H. You see, I have the ppv buyrates here and. . .

KS: You needn't finish! Obviously my match was the highest rated of the entire show! The greatest match in the history of the RDCW! Why who wouldn't want to watch two titanic. . .er, titans. . .such as myself and Jonathan Evil in an EPIC contest of carefree hugging!

DP: Well, that's just it. Let me show you. These are the ratings prior to your match. This number here.

*Doc Paragon walks over to a chart, where he unveils the high numbers the ppv received prior to the C.A.T.C.H.

KS: That's a pretty high number.

DP: Yes, it is, isn't it? But not the highest number on there.

KS: Obviously.

DP: Indeed. We got a lot of high numbers. These are the ratings for the Ghost Hog/Big Pimp Tim match, the Chained Fury match, and the World Title match. All pretty high numbers. All big. All good.

*Paragon now unveils the numbers on the chart for those matches, each one rising higher than the one previous.

KS: However. . .

*Doc Paragon points downward this time, to where the spike drops down past the bottom of the chart.

DP: However, these are the numbers for the C.A.T.C.H.

KS: I don't see where they stop at.

*Paragon unrolls a piece of paper at the bottom of the chart that rolls across the floor and out into the hallway. Paragon and Snarf look out the doorway, watching the paper rolling down the hall until it finally comes to an end.

DP: I'd guess they stop somewhere near the water fountain by the entrance.

*Paragon picks up a large stack of papers from his desk and dumps them in Snarf's arms.

DP: And this, is the number of viewers who called the ppv offices during your match and requested their money back. Money that will be coming out of your salary until it is paid off. We have a problem here, Snarf. I want to know how you suggest we fix it.

*Snarf, still holding the papers thinks for a moment, before he gets an idea.

KS: I've got it!

*Snarf sets the papers back down on Paragon's desk and walks over to the chart.

KS: So this is the numbers? And I have the lowest numbers on the ppv?

DP: Yes. . .

KS: Simple!

*Snarf picks up the chart and turns it over before setting it back down on the stand, upside down.

KS: I now have the highest numbers of the whole show! I hereby declare myself the greatest draw in the history of the RDCW! Give me my title shot against Joe Mama!

*Paragon slaps his hand to the side of his face, and fumes for a moment, while Snarf looks eminently pleased with himself.

DP: Snarf?

KS: Yes?

DP: Get. Out. Of. My. Office. Right. Now.

*Camera cuts back to ringside where Monroe & MarcuM are laughing.

X a brillion

"Faded" plays as Joe Mama makes his way to the ring. The crowd is decidedly mixed, though the boos outnumber the cheers. He stops in front of a teary-eyed woman holding a sign that says "Ban Joe Mama! Sammitch Is A TRUE CHAMP!!!" and looks at it for a moment before snatching it out of her hands, pulling a Sharpie pen out of his pocket, and writing across it. He holds it up to the camera, smiling, and then hands it back to the woman - he's autographed it and written "We all destroy our heroes!" As the woman yells at him, Joe Mama walks away, chuckling.

Monroe: Very funny...that's just how a Champion should act!

Marcum: That's hilarious! It's funny cuz it's true!!!

Joe Mama grabs a microphone from the announcer's table and enters the ring.

JM: Before I discuss my match against Captain Sammitch, I want to address something that happened just a few moments ago. King Snarf demanded a title match and was refused by Doc Paragon. Now, I'm a fighting champ, and I don't back down from anyone, so I decided to see about making this match happen. Not because I think he's anything more than a glorified jobber, but because I want to show my appreciation to you fans by making him quit the business...just like I made Captain Sammitch quit.

The crowd is a mix of cheers and laughter that slightly drowns out the boos.

Marcum: See that? Joe Mama is a brave, GENEROUS, fighting Champion! And who says he doesn't give these fans what they want?

Monroe: Just shut up, Marcum...

JM: The problem was, getting that match was easier said than done. Just watch!

The Cheese-O-Tron comes alive with footage of Joe Mama walking into Doc Paragon's office, carefully stepping over the printout of the match ratings, and shutting the door. The camera picks up the muffled sound of conversation, and then:

Doc Paragon: Get the hell outta my office!!!

The door flies open and Joe Mama backs out, hands up as if trying to calm Doc Paragon down. A binder flies at Joe Mama's head, which he ducks to avoid. The door slams shut. Joe Mama picks up the binder and flips through it.

JM: Hm...the ratings were no worse than every other Snarf match...

CUT TO: Another office, this time the sign on the door reads "Championship Committee". Joe Mama walks in and shuts the door. There's more muffled talking and then the room erupts in laughter. The cameraman opens the door and enters the room. Joe Mama is standing in front of the Championship Committee, looking a bit put off. Most of the Committee have fallen off their chairs, laughing. Some are wiping tears away. A few have visibly wet themselves as they laugh.

JM: Seriously, people. It could be a good match! IT COULD!!!

CUT TO: A door with a sign - "Rob Kamphausen: RDCW Chairman & Owner...AND HOW!!!" Joe Mama stands in front of the door. He looks back at the camera.

JM: OK...last chance to make this happen...

He opens the door, saying, "Look, Rob, we gotta talk..." but he stops short. He looks a bit shocked.

JM: Um...okay, Rob. Never mind. See ya, Rob...um, hi Snarf..."

He shuts the door and walks away, looking slightly ill...

The screen goes blank and the crowd is mostly laughing...

Monroe: That's obnoxious! There's no way any of that was real! There's no way Rob and Snarf...

Marcum: That's too much even for me...funny, but

JM: So, Snarf, as you can see, unless you worked some serious magic on Rob...and it looks like you did, there'll be no match. Sorry, pal! I tried. But let me talk about Captain Sammitch...

First of all, let me hear some applause for all of you who wanted to see Captain Sammitch go upside my head with my Heavyweight Cheese Title and win our match!

The applause is damned loud.

JM: Okay...now let me hear from all of you who were happy to see him put that belt around his waist and pose for all of you...

The applause is slightly louder than the previous round. Joe Mama is nodding.

JM: That's right, keep clapping. I want all of you to hear yourselves as you watch this:

The Cheese-O-Tron comes alive again with a shortened version of Captain Sammitch walking out of the ring and leaving the arena (set to the Walk Away Theme from The Incredible Hulk.). The applause dies down and gives way to a lot of booing and chants of "Sammitch!"

JM: That's right, people! Why aren't you still cheering? You people ARE the reason Sammitch lost that match and left the business. If you could ease up on your impossible demands, Sammitch would've listened to his TRUE fans, taken me out with the belt, and tonight HE'D be Champion! But because of you hypocrites, who sold him out for a cheap pop, Captain Sammitch is gone...never to return! So cheer for yourselves! Let me hear hear you cheer and chant the name of the man you all destroyed!

Monroe: This is despicable, even for Joe Mama! How can he blame the fans for...?

Marcum: He can because it's true! They cost Captain Sammitch the Heavyweight Cheese Title and ran him out of the business with their hypocrisy and demands!

JM: You fans enjoy the rest of the show tonight! Enjoy your Sammitch-less RDCW! You wanted it, you created it...and you damn well DESERVE it!!!

"Faded" starts again and Joe Mama takes a moment to bask in the fans' boos and chants. He brings his hands up to his eyes and mimes crying, then busts out laughing and leaves the ring. He leaves the ring area and goes out back.

Monroe: That was disgusting...

Marcum:

*Balls Nasty is in the Cheesedome cafeteria, loading up his tray with fried chicken and corn dogs. A man with a microphone runs up to him.*

Man: Balls Nasty, do you have any words about you being booked in a match with King Snarf after your performance in this last PPV in your Last Man Standing Steel Cage match and his.... you know?

*Balls looks confused.*

Balls: Who the hell are you?

Man: I don't know. There are so many new interview people announced on this show that I've kinda lost track of who even I am. But back to my question. Snarf's last showing at the PPV was less than stellar, but he is a former champion.

Balls: He may be a former champion, but he's currently the reigning chumpion. Snarf's rode on the coat tails of others his whole career. Without others to hold his sorry ass up, he falls flat on his face every time. Why do you think that he's resorted to mindless, petty gimmick matches? It's because he has no skill, or brains. I'm not even lacing up my ring boots or putting on my ring gear. I'm fighting as is tonight, and it'll all be done in a matter of seconds. Now get out from between me and the cream corn!

Monroe: Never get between a man and his cream corn, MarcuM.

MarcuM: Yeah, I remember what happened to the last guy that tried that with Balls Nasty!

"Ghaleon's Theme" then begins to play as the Cheese-O-Tron lights up. We hear a familiar voice. It is Bookakke, quickly followed by Johnny Evil's voice.

B: Meanwhile. . .

JE: Good, good. Now say the rest. Like I taught you.

B: Meanwhile, in Otaku rocker loom. . .

JE: Don't forget the rest.

B: . . .of JUSTICE!!!!!!!!

JE: Great!

B: Dis is Bukkahhhkiii, Havok numbah one announcah!

JE: I'll take over from here. Boys, show him the door.

BFE and Hiro quickly toss Buckacki out of the locker room as Ariel holds the mic for Johnny.

JE: Now I thought at Scammiversary all this talk of "kings" and such would be cleared up once for all! I am Johnny Evil, leader of the Otaku! I am the BattleWars Champion! I am the KING KING!!!!! This was bestowed upon me by the Kings of Wrestling, all of them! And I will not have this tarnished by some announcer, who wants to decide to use some sort of catchphrase such as, oh I don't know, "The King of Carnage!"

BFE actually stops eating his cheeseburger and begins listening to what Johnny is saying. He looks a little put out.


JE: Grimm. It wasn't bad enough that your little contractual dispute with Rob cost us the tag team titles last year! No, you had to blatantly disrespect me by having your little sockpuppet, Mike Monroe, call you a King! There's only one King King, and that's me! Nobody else!

BFE looks very annoyed now and stands up he taps Johnny on the shoulder and starts to speak. It is the first coherent thing he's said during his RDCW tenure.

BFE: No sir, Johnny. Now you know I'll always have your back. I'll always be there for you or pretty little Ariel, or pretty little Hiro. But I cain't let this King business go on! Johnny, there ain't but one King, and that's Elvis Aaron Presley! If you wanna be The King, you're gonna have to make a few changes around here.



JE: Like what?

BFE: Well, you let me take care of that.

*Fade out as we cut back to a very confused Monroe & MarcuM at ringside.

Monroe: What was that all about?

MarcuM: All I know was something about you being a sock puppet!

Monroe: Har har har.

We cut to a locker room, Ghost Hog is at a dart board. throwing darts at a Schwartz pic. drinking heavily and talking to himself.

GH: Schwartz. . .why. . .Gobdammit!

*GH drunkenly tosses a dart. It flies way off the mark and bounces off of the wall.

GH: Gah!

He tosses the remaining handful of darts at the board and runs up to it screaming. He rips the board off of the wall and tosses it onto the ground and begins stomping on it. A figure moves into the frame. The camera pans back and we see Grimm, his face and ribs heavily bandaged. He is stoicly watching Ghost Hog's rampage. GH looks up at Grimm, with fury still in his eyes.

Grimm: Are you done yet?

GH:(barely able to get the words out) What the hell do you care?

Grimm remains silent for a moment almost as if he's pondering whether he does care or not. After a few moments, he answers.

Grimm: I care because I need you. There's a war on the horizon of the RDCW. I need soldiers. I need Pig-

Ghost Hog steps up in Grimm's face.

GH: Don't call me that.

Grimm: You're drunk, aren't you? You can barely stand up. You're no use to me like this. Clean yourself up, man. Get over this little fling of Schwartz's and be the Warrior of Pain again.

Grimm turns to leave, but GH's anger boils up inside of him and he charges at Grimm. Grimm sidesteps and shoves GH into a locker. He walks up behind GH and rams his head into the locker a few times, busting him open before slamming him back down onto the floor. GH curls up and holds his head in agony and he can be heard sobbing.

GH: . . .Schwartz. . .

Grimm drops down to his knees and extends a hand toward Ghost Hog. He gently runs his hand through GH's hair for a moment, before a look of revulsion crosses his face and he stands up again.

Grimm: You're pathetic.

Grimm turns and leaves the room, leaving Ghost Hog alone with his blood and his demons.

<Backstage, the camera takes us slowly down a corridor and near an open office door. Inside, the hushed voices of two women can barely be heard...>

Woman 1: Don't you realize what a tight spot this puts us in?

Woman 2: I'm aware of that. But we don't have a choice!

<As we get close enough to peek inside the office, we recognize the two women as Sweet Marlene and Meeko. Sweet Marlene is pacing back and forth anxiously in front of a desk, behind which Meeko is seated and currently adjusting her makeup in a mirror on the desktop...>

Sweet Marlene: I just don't know how much we can accomplish with two busted-up fighters now that he's gone. We're awfully exposed to anyone who might want to pick us apart!

Marcum: You're exposed? Lemme see!

Monroe:

Meeko: I never said this would be easy. I don't really know how long this is going to last.

SM: How long? He left! Sammitch left us!

Marcum: He sure did! Where's that Incredible Hulk music again?

Meeko: Yes, he did.

SM: Did you not hear what Joe Mama said out there? He's telling the people that Sammitch left for good!

Meeko: Yes, I know.

SM:

Meeko:

SM:

Meeko:

SM: AND?!?!?

Meeko: And... we need to move forward. Business as usual.

Marcum: So it's true! Sammitch is gone forever!

Monroe:

SM: So what about tonight? The boys are still pretty beat up.

Meeko: Well, one of them is your husband. So I'm sure you're more than capable of motivating him. And Chewy's pissed off enough right now that it scares me to think of what he might do, healthy or not.

Marcum: Wait a minute! Chewy Walrus and Killconey aren't on the card tonight!

Monroe:

SM: Well then we'll just have to see what happens tonight. But after that? Then what? The four of us unassisted can't stand up to everyone that wants to make trouble for us.

Meeko: Just leave that to me, hon. You forget with whom you're dealing...

<Fade out...>

<the light that blinds hhits as the west side rollers come down to the ring. mixed reactions, and loud as krazed works up the crowd while bpt, shwartz, n j follow down the the ring !>

krazed: now, there's tag team titles up tonight. why we even botherin. how long could it take to bust a couple knuckel heads together and toss their ass's over?

<laughing with the crowd>

bpt: i don't even really care so long as i send all of them over. just for keeping me from some of my new pastimes. by the way, be a doll, shwartz, n get me some soda.... i am a lil thristy after all that hard work.

<bpt slaps her on the ass as shwartz blushes n exits the ring to find a soda as krazed starts working over the crowd>

krazed: it's bout fuckin time..... been here kickin ass, people, throwin bbitches out, pausing for the roars fo the crowd tonight we're going to take these titles. say goodbye to them. they aren't ever leavin our possesion. i don't even know all who these chumps are. i don't even care. we're gonna do what we set out to do.

<krazed tosses the mic and leaves, as bpt smiles at the crowd, and looks over at the announcing table, before exiting to the back. motioning for j to hurry up and get to the back as well

World Tag Team Championship

Gauntlet for the Gold

<The applause builds throughout the Cheesedome as the crowd awaits the start of the Gauntlet...>

Marcum: Here we go! I wonder who they’ll send out first?

To the surprise of just about everyone in the building, "Ode to Joy" begins to play as Doc Paragon walks down to the ring, carrying the brand new RDCW World Tag Team Championship belts. He climbs into the ring and hands the belts to Senior RDCW Official Lothar who holdsl up the belts for the fans to see. Paragon takes the mic from James White.

DP: Thank you, thank you. Before we begin here tonight, I would like to annnounce a surprise entrant into this match. Now it is against my better judgment to let these men compete here tonight in their condition, but after speaking with them and their management team and being assured that they would not hold the RDCW accountable for any aggravated injuries that may occur, I have agreed to let them participate in the match. I believe you fans already know and appreciate them. So I'll step aside and let you enjoy the match!

Paragon leaves the ring as ‘TNT’ blares over the speakers and Chewy Walrus and Killconey appear at the top of the ramp, accompanied by Sweet Marlene!

Marcum: Hey! They’re not in this match!

Monroe: They are now! You heard Paragon!

The crowd cheers as the trio makes their way to the ring. Both Chewy and Killconey look eager for the match, but as they continue down the ramp the extent of their injuries becomes more apparent. Killconey still has an orthopedic wrap around his left knee, and Chewy Walrus appears to be nursing bruised ribs and his head is heavily bandaged.

Monroe: An apparent late entry to this match, but I gotta be honest – neither Chewy Walrus nor Killconey appear to be anywhere near one hundred percent tonight.

Marcum: Would you be if Balls Nasty handed your ass to you on several occasions?

Chewy and Killconey enter the ring as Sweet Marlene makes her way to the announcers’ table, where Madman Marcum pulls out a chair for her...

Monroe: And we’d like to say good evening to Sweet Marlene. How are you feeling about tonight’s Gauntlet for the Gold?

Sweet Marlene: Thank you, and I’m looking forward to it, Mike. The boys really wanted to get back in the ring, and we feel we owe it to the fans to show that we’re still alive and well after everything that’s happened.

Marcum: You mean after Balls Nasty putting them both in the hospital or after your number one wrestler leaving the business?

SM:

Marcum:

Monroe:

Before Sweet Marlene can castrate Marcum with her Look of Death™, the Otaku’s entrance music plays and the crowd cheers as Hiro and Big Fat Elvis make their way down the ramp, accompanied by Ariel. Not one to waste any time, Hiro slips between the ropes, charges at Chewy, and delivers a flying double kick to the bigger man’s injured ribs! James White rings the bell...

Monroe: Here we go!

Hiro tags in BFE, who moves in to try and keep Chewy off balance. The two big men battle it out as Hiro and Killconey eye each other across the ring...

Monroe: These two teams are very similar – a really big heavy-hitter and a smaller, quicker high-flyer. In theory they’re just about evenly matched...

MarcuM: But The Otaku have one advantage! They can communicate with each other in Japanese!

Monroe: How do you know? Hiro never speaks and Big Fat Elvis is always eating something!

MarcuM: Johnny Evil told me!

BFE is keeping Chewy on the ropes with a combination of low blows and shots to Chewy’s injured ribs, but when he goes to lock him up for the Teddy Bear, Chewy reverses the hold, locks BFE up, and delivers the Big Let-Down (Russian back drop). Chewy hops up and manages to tag Killconey in, but is clearly winded from the confrontation and the back drop...[i]

Monroe: Chewy Walrus appears to have aggravated the injuries to his rib cage. How long has he been in this kind of pain?

SM: That would be telling.

Marcum: Well it’s pretty obvious to me that he’s not on top of his game. And now Killconey’s gonna get worked over by Hiro!

[i]Killconey and Hiro square off in their respective corners, but before either man can make a move, ‘Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight’ blares throughout the Cheesedome and Chevy Nova and ZOD rush down the ramp to the ring followed by Syxxty-Nine...

SM: Looks like the mWo has other plans...

ZOD enters the ring as Chevy Nova poses on the apron shouting “BROTHERDADDYDUUUUUUUUDE!!!” and takes a swipe at Hiro, who counters with Heavyarms. Killconey backs off as the two begin battling it out, then seizes his opportunity and hits an off-balance ZOD with The Dragon Reborn (Dragonrana). He’s visibly staggered by the move, though, and before he can recover, Hiro executes a high-flying move of his own and lands a Shenlong (flying hurricanrana) on him! As Killconey lies on the mat clutching at his injured knee, Hiro tags BFE back in...

Marcum: Looks like we’re about to see our first elimination!

Monroe: But who’s gonna be eliminated first? Killconey and ZOD are both down!

In the ring, BFE is trying to make up his mind. ZOD manages to tumble out of the ring, barely tagging Chevy Nova on the way out, but Chevy is slow to enter the ring, and BFE decides to go after Killconey, who is limping slowly toward the ropes...

Marcum: This could be it for Chewy and Killconey!

SM: You know, whenever you open your mouth and say something like that, you’re almost always wrong...

Sure enough, just as BFE starts toward Killconey to set up for the Abeno Bash, he is intercepted by...

Monroe: BUHGAWB! Walrus Tusk!

The impact of the two huge men resonates throughout the arena. Chewy and BFE are both out in the middle of the ring. Chevy Nova dashes in and starts running the ropes before hitting the big legdrop for the cover and the pin on Big Fat Elvis!

Marcum: The Otaku are history!

Chevy Nova celebrates in the ring, striking a pose for the fans and shouting “Yeahhhhhhhbrotherbrotherdaddybrotherdude!!! Novamania's runnin wild!” Chevy continues posing so much that he doesn’t notice Chewy Walrus until it’s too late, and Chewy leg-sweeps him to the mat, then goes for the Wrecking Ball (Samoan leg drop) and then the cover, pinning Chevy Nova!

Monroe: The mWo is eliminated! Chewy Walrus and Killconey are taking no prisoners!

SM: That’s it, boys!!! Keep it up!

Killconey makes his way back to his corner, and Chewy checks to make sure he’s okay. Killconey nods, then asks Chewy the same question. The two wrestlers take advantage of the momentary reprieve to catch their breath and try to shake off the pain that is obviously lingering with both of them...

Marcum: They both look pretty shaken up! It doesn’t look like they can hold out much longer!

’Money for Nothing’ plays as the English Bastards trot down the ramp to the ring, with Grace following behind...

Monroe: We’re about to find out! The match continues... right after this!!!

Ad!

Kilburn & Stephens hit the ring and go to work on Chewy & KC with power moves, attempting to put them out of the match. Grace shouts encouragement from the outside, pounding on the mat.

Kilburn hits a powerslam on Chewy and goes for a pin, but somehow Chewy manages to lift his shoulder just in time. Kilburn argues with Lothar as Chewy tries to crawl over to his corner. He almost makes it, but Kilburn grabs his foot and drags him back across the ring to where he tags in Stephens, who runs in and drops a big elbow on Chewy's back!

MarcuM: Charlie's boys are really out to prove themselves here!

Monroe: It doesn't look good for Chewy and Killconey right now.

SM: C'mon boys! Keep fighting!

The English Bastards go for a Bastard Blowout on Chewy, but Killconey sneaks into the ring and trips Stephens with a drop toehold before he can get the clothesline, dropping him face first on the mat!

SM: That's it, baby!

The Bastards keep working over their foes with body blows, intent on putting Chewy and KC out. "Saturday Night's Alright" plays as the Fantastic Brothers race down to the ring and slid inside.

The Fantastics go right after the Bastards, hitting a pair of Rock N Roll Specials (running dropkicks), followed up by a pair of running DDTs!

Monroe: The tide has turned!

The Fantastic Brothers continue using their high flying to neutralize the Bastards power moves until Stephens catches Ryan with a Strong Arm Tactic (lariat) for a quick pin and a three count while Grace distracted James on the ring apron.

Pissed off, the Fantastic Brothers continue brawling with the Bastards as Chewy and KC hold Kilburn down and the Brothers hit That's Fantastic on Stephens before leaving the ring area.

Kilburn fights off the weakend Walrus, but the "Light that Blinds" plays as the West Side Rollers (Krazed, Big Pimp Tim, J, and Schwartz) hit the ring area and make their way into the ring!

We have a three way stand-off as the Rollers, the Bastards, and the injured Chewy & KC confront each other in the ring.

Monroe: Fans, we'll be back with the conclusion to this match after this!

MarcuM: AD!

We return from the break as Charlie has made his way to ringside, and is arguing with J. Grace and Schwartz are screaming at each other as Sweet Marlene remains at the announce position with Monroe & MarcuM. Finally, Doc Paragon and several security guards remove the extraneous personnel from ringside.

Chewy & Killconey take a rest on the outside as the Bastards and the Rollers brawl in the ring. BPT works over Kilburn's knee as Krazed taunts Stephens from the apron. Stephens rushes into the ring and shoves Krazed off the apron, but is hit from behind by a Dragonrana from Killconey! KC attempts to scramble back out, but his injuries keep from escaping a Strong Arm Tactic from Stephens!

As the referee removes Stephens and Killconey, Krazed grabs a chair nails Kilburn in the back with it and follows up with a Kaos! BPT locks in the Punkmaker and Lothar counts the unconscious Kilburn out as the Bastards are eliminated!


Monroe: We have two teams left! One of these teams will be the new RDCW World Tag Team Champions!

MarcuM: I think we can all roll with who's gonna win this one!

SM: Yeah, my boys!

Chewy steps into the ring gingerly. He seems to be somewhat out of it as he winces in pain and shakes his head a bit.

Monroe: I'm not so sure Chewy should be in this match. He may have a concussion from that Last Man Standing Cage match with Balls Nasty!

MarcuM: The Rollers are gonna finish what Balls started!

SM: You can do it, boys! You made it this far!

It's back and forth with both teams fighting for control. Chewy somehow manages to catch BPT in a Big Let-Down but is far too hurt to continue. Krazed comes off the top with a Knight, Knight and taunts KC on the apron. As Lothar is distracted with Krazed and KC, J runs back down to ringside and delivers a Sack Attack to Chewy and rolls BPT on top of him! Sweet Marlene gets up from the announce table to complain but is stopped short by Schwartz as the two get into a catfight outside the ring!

Lothar goes to count the pin as KC tries to help Chewy but Krazed takes his leg out and hits a Kaos on him as Lothar counts the three! The West Side Rollers have won the Gauntlet match and the tag team titles! "Light that Blinds" plays as J and Schwartz join Krazed and BPT in the ring celebrating with the title belts!

The WSR leave the ring as Sweet Marlene, officials, and medical personnel check on the obviously still hurt Chewy Walrus and Killconey.

Monroe: Fans, this is awful! Chewy and Killconey were robbed plain and simple! We'll be back with our next match!

Singles Match

Johnny Evil vs. Spandex Monkey Man

Havok returns from break as Spandex Monkey Man is in the ring posing for the fans! "Ghaleon's Theme" begins to play but is soon interrupted and replaced with Elvis' "Burning Love" as Johnny Evil, now dressed up in a jumpsuit with pompadour, is lead out to the ring by Ariel. Johnny gets in the ring and takes the mic.

JE: So for tonight at least, I guess you can call me John Presley! It seems that ripping off dead rock stars is the hottest thing in wrestling today! Apparently the RDCW writers thought my personality wasn't "serious" enough to be a championship contender here in the RDCW! It also seems that-"

"John Presley" is interrupted as the lights go out in the Cheesedome!

Monroe: You know what this means!

MarcuM: Yeah, we forgot to pay the bill again!

Monroe: No, you idiot! There's some sort of commotion going on in the ring!

The lights go back on and we see Johnny Evil laid out in the middle of the ring! Lothar rings the bell as Spamm looks around, shrugs, and goes for the pin!

Monroe: Spamm wins! Spamm wins!

MarcuM: Look outside the ring!

Ariel is screaming outside the ring, but Grimm is holding her back from the ring by her hair. He has a mic in his other hand. He points at Johnny and begins to speak.

Grimm: You tell him! Next week! I've got a partner! You tell him. . .next week. . .it's ASYLUM RULES!!!!!

Monroe: Next week, Madman! Asylum Rules! Grimm and his partner against the Otaku!

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GM Ordered Grudge Battle
Balls Nasty vs. King Snarf

*We come back from commercial to see King Snarf standing in the middle of the ring with a microphone in his hand. Next to him is a large cardboard box.*

KS: Ladies and gentlemen, as the creator of the most talked about match at Scammiversary (and I've got the paperwork to prove it), I have decided to give you the next genius and innovative match idea that has ever been innovated or geniusized.

Monroe: What?

Marcum: Beats the hell outta me.

KS: I would like to introduce to you....

*He begins to reach down to the box before the sound of Bad Company slowly rolls over the PA system in the Cheesedome. Balls Nasty begins to make his way down to the ring.*

KS: And here comes tonight's challenger in the greatest match ever showcased in wrestling history! Tonight Balls Nasty will face me, King Snarf, the greatest RDCW champion ever, in the first ever....

*Snarf reaches into the box and pulls out a very loud Hawaiian shirt.*

KS: Hawaiian Shirt Challenge!

Monroe: I have no idea what to say.

Marcum: I do, but my mother's supposed to be watching tonight. Hi, Mom!

*Balls Nasty stands in front of King Snarf, shaking his head.*

KS: The rules are simple. Whoever can choose the loudest Hawaiian shirt and still pull it off is the winner. But I must warn you, I am an old pro at this. It isn't going to be easy for you. Just to show you how it's done, I'll go first.

*Snarf reaches into the box and pulls out a red, blue, and purple shirt and puts it on. He then begins to pose in the middle of the ring. He picks up the mike again.*

KS: Now that's how it's done. Your turn.

*Balls Nasty fishes a shirt out of the box and looks at it. He then looks at Snarf for just an instant before smashing his fist into Snarf's face. Nasty throws a few more punches before wrapping the shirt around Snarf's neck and chocking him.*

Marcum: I think Nasty's a shoe-in to win this one. I've never seen a Hawaiian shirt look better.

*Nasty uses the shirt around Snarf's neck to toss him across the ring. As Snarf tries to come to, Nasty grabs the ref from outside the ring and pulls him in. Nasty yells at him to ring the bell and start the match. The ref complies and signals for the bell. Nasty turns his attention back to Snarf, who has crawled back over to the box of shirts and is trying to pull out another one.

Nasty grabs the back of Snarf's shirt and pulls him to his feet. Balls hits a half-nelson suplex. He continues to hit Snarf with forearms and suplexes. Snarf doesn't try to defend himself. He just keeps trying to get back to the Hawaiian shirts in the box.

Nasty, seeming to tire of the match finally hits Snarf with the Tavernsmasher right onto the box of shirts. The ref counts the pin and calls for the bell. He tries to raise Balls's hand, but Nasty leaves the rings as soon as the bell sounds.

Snarf begins to come to. He's covered in Hawaiian shirts as he tries to pull himself up with the ropes and asks for the a mike. Balancing himself in the corner, he begins to speak.*

KS: Sin...... since Balls Nasty did not adhere to the rules of the Hawaiian Shirt Challenge, I declare myself the winner due to disqualification. I'm still the greatest!

Marcum: The greastest as....

Monroe: Marcum!

Marcum: Oh, yeah! Hi, Mom!

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