RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Havok-Not so Grand Schemes

Main Event Grudge Match
Johnny Evil vs. El Superbeasto

Hotties Handicap Match
Meeko/Sweet Marlene vs. Heidi Schwartz

Singles Match
Chewy Walrus vs. Big Pimp Tim

Singles Match
Krazed vs. Killconey

Bring Tha Noise is playin as Qbert Johnson is in the ring talking.

"Last week, legal matters prevented you pathetic people from seeing the greatness that is Qbert Johnson! The Roboken 69ers apparently don't want me getting hurt while I'm on suspension! But all that noise is done with now! Tonight, Qbert Johnson says bring tha biggest and tha baddest out here and let them get stomped on by Qbert!"

"Hey, pendejo! You wanting the biggest? You wanting the baddest! Si, senore! I am right here!"

El Superbeasto walks down to ringside and climbs into the ring, stepping over the top rope.

"Allow Superbeasto to show you meaning of true lucha style!"

*Qbert throws a mini football at Superbeasto which just bounces harmlessly off of the giant luchadore's massive chest. Qbert then tosses a wad of monopoly money at Superbeasto, who merely looks at him.

"You are muy stupido."

Superbeasto whips Qbert into the ropes and Qbert ducks under a clothesline and attempts to hop over the luchadore, but Superbeasto is just too big and the massive luchadore wraps his hand around Qbert's throat and delivers a thunderous Chokeslam to Oblivion which knocks Qbert flat on the canvas.

Superbeasto kicks Qbert out of the ring with his foot and says: "Dio de los muertos, puta."

"Johnny Evil! You are making me angry last week! You are not going to liking me when angry, cabrone! Tonight, you are feeling wrath of Giant Luchadore! At Halloween Handjobs, you and puta diablo Grimm will be Chokeslam straight to hell! VIVA EL SUPERBEASTO!"

Superbeasto leaves the ring as EMTs check on the still unconscious Qbert.

Robin Lucious here backstage in the Cheesedome in an exclusive interview with the General Manager of the RDCW, Doc Paragon!

*Paragon's forehead is still bandaged from his fight with Ghost Hog a few weeks ago, and he smiles uneasily. This is not the Paragon we are used to seeing.

DP: Hello, Robin.

Robin: Doc, last week we saw a video from Ghost Hog declaring you as a major player in a vast conspiracy inside the inner workings of the RDCW.

as Robin speaks we see the footage again. . .
The video footage changes to a scene of Paragon standing in a hallway with the West Side Rollers. We see Paragon handing a sum of cash to Big Pimp Tim, who nods and takes the money before pocketing it. He smiles and says something before the group walks away. Paragon turns, a satisfied look on his face, and walks in the opposite direction.

Robin: Doc, what is your response to this footage? Are you the mastermind of the Conspiracy within the RDCW? Is Ghost Hog right? Did you pay off the West Side Rollers to take out the Cheapions? The fans want to know!

DP: Hold on, hold on, here, Robin. If you want my answers then let me give them to you. But first, I want to say this about Ghost Hog. Ghost Hog, since you returned to the RDCW I have known that you would be a thorn in my side and that one day I would have to pluck you out and toss you away like the garbage you are.

Well, that day did not come like I hoped it would, just a few short weeks ago. I've come to accept that I am not the man to remove you from the RDCW. But that's okay, because I know who is. The man you tried to cheapshot from behind and injure after our match! Our very own RDCW World Champion, Joe Mama! And at Halloween Handjobs, he's going to put you out of your drunken misery in a very special match. Because Ghost Hog, at Halloween Handjobs you and Joe Mama are going beyond hardcore, beyond the cage, beyond anything seen so far. You're going. . .Beyond Phausendome! That's a circular enclosed steel cage surrounding the ringside area and filled with weapons.

You want to unleash the Hog of War, I say unleash him. Unleash the Enforcer, and let them go ONE STEP BEYOND!!!!!!!

Now as for the video footage. Did I pay off the West Side Rollers?

Paragon pauses as if weighing his answer. Finally, he looks up and begins to speak again.

DP: Yes, I paid off the West Side Rollers. Yes, it's the truth, but it isn't the whole truth. You see, not so long ago, Big Pimp Tim was injured here in the Cheesedome on an episode of Havok. Now, Robin, I've said this before and I will say it again. I am not a fan of the West Side Rollers or how they conduct themselves in the ring.

But having said that, they do bring in revenue for our company and they are the reigning RDCW World Tag Team Champions. When you have a situation where someone such as that is injured on the job, it is my responsibility to do what is best for the business. In this particular instance that was ensuring that not only was Big Pimp Tim not facing a permanent injury, not only was the RDCW not facing liability charges, but also that the Tag Team Titles were not in jeopardy.

So did I hand Big Pimp Tim a large wad of cash that Ghost Hog apparently broke into our security system and stole a tape of? Yes, I did. That money was an advance payment on Big Pimp Tim's paycheck to ensure that he would receive the best and fastest medical attention that he could in order to overcome his injury. I'm happy to say that he was able to do just that and return to competition here as you saw last week.

Robin: Well, Doc, it certainly looks like you've covered the bases on that angle. Is there anything else you'd like to say before we go back to the arena?

DP: Yes, there is. I've been watching this situation between Balls Nasty, Jade Dragon, and the RDCW hopefuls very closely and I have a little something special in mind for them at Halloween Handjobs as well.

Robin: Thanks for your time, Doc.

DP: Thank you, Robin.

Monroe: Well, it looks like Paragon's innocent of Ghost Hog's conspiracy charges!

MarcuM: I call shenanigans! That was hush money! Bribery! Paragongate is afoot! Look out, you could be the next victim! Just like Nixon and Jayne Mansfield!

Monroe: What???

MarcuM: You know she was doing Superman in her spare time! Didn't you see that movie?

Monroe: Apparently not the one you did. . .

<Cut to the Cheapions' locker room, where Sweet Marlene is speaking with Chewy Walrus and Killconey as the tag partners gear up for separate matches...>

Killconey: So where's Meeko, anyway? She's usually the one who gives us these little pre-match pep talks.

Sweet Marlene: Meeko said she has to go take care of a few things. She'll be back in time for our match later. For now, I'll have to do. Is that okay?

Chewy Walrus:

KC:

SM: Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that even though you're not tag-teaming tonight, I'm very confident in the both of you. I told you we would get a shot at the West Side Rollers before this was all over. Looks like we're getting about as many shots at them as we know what to do with. Don't. Waste. Any.

KC: Don't you worry about that, babe. I can't wait to get my hands on Krazed after last week.

SM: It didn't look like he hurt you that bad!

KC: Maybe not. But that bastard never returned the last four All-Star Supermans he borrowed, and there's gonna be hell to pay!

SM:

CW:

SM: And you, Ste-

CW:

SM: Chewy... You're up against Big Pimp Tim, and last week you two were pretty evenly matched. I know you're used to your strength advantage being enough, but judging from what that Jade Dragon guy did to Balls Nasty, that's not always gonna cut it against some opponents. So don't be afraid to mix it up a little when you get out there, okay?

CW:

KC: So what are you and Meeko gonna do against Schwartz out there?

SM: What are we gonna do? It's a handicap match. We're gonna double-team her!

CW:

KC: Really?

SM: NOT LIKE THAT!

KC: Oh.

SM: Sometimes I worry about you.

KC: I'll take that as an "I love you".

<Fade to black...>

krazed sits in the WSR locker room looking very determined. He's looking at last weeks match on tape.

"heh. look at that fool. Tapping out like a little bitch. I cant believe I used to have some respect for these guys. Not a lot but more than all the other clowns here. Oh well. It doesnt matter now. Im gonna make him tap again tonight. And if he gets out of it this time...well...I always have plan B..."

he raises a chair with Killconey's face on it...


"And I hope that bastard doesnt think he's getting his damn comicbooks back either..."

he opens the door and walks out the room...

in a corner of the wsr locker bpt is sittin, with heidi on his lap. leaning forward speaking to j quietly...

bpt: .....don't worry bout that. i'll wear him out. i won't even wait for him to tap out like a bitch, i'll just toss him straight up and over. what u should be concerned about is heidi's match. i can't have a prime piece gettin banged up.

j: but how..

bpt: i don't care j!! you do what you have to do. else you'll be polishin titles and getting sodas for a long time. speaking of which. we're going to be busy for a while......going over her match. go get krazed somthing to drink. i imagine he's parched right now.


j:

*backstage, Grimm is turning off his cellphone and sporting a malicious grin as Harleykwin approaches.

H: What are you so happy about?

G: Johnny Evil's not the only one who can call in backup from the past. I just got off the phone with someone else who has a little score to settle with The Otaku. There's gonna be a nice little trick for them, and a treat for us. He'll be at the arena soon.

H: So what then? How far is this going to go?

*Grimm's expression changes to match his name.

G: As far as it has to. All the way Into. . .

H: The Mouth of Madness, I know I know, I was there, remember? You know, this whole thing. . .you don't have to do this.

G: Yes, I do.

H: Okay, fine. So where's Joe?

G: Who knows? Haven't seen him all week. Probably at "batting practice" in "Red Sox Nation" or whatever. . .

H: Oh? So we're alone here?

G: Yeah, why?

H: Because I need some more "coaching" for that Gauntlet match at the ppv. Now, c'mere. . .

*The two disappear off camera as we fade out. . .*

Joey Biles is standing in front of a non-descript door...

JB: (whispering) I'm standing outside the locker room of Heavyweight Cheese Champion, Joe Mama. Although he's not scheduled to compete tonight, and hasn't been seen around the CheeseDome, rumor says that he is in the building. Let's find out!

Joey carefully opens the door and quietly steps in, the cameraman following closely behind him. The room is dark except for the flickering light of a television. Joe Mama is sitting in front of it, leaning forward, studying it.

JB: Um, Champ?

Joe Mama doesn't acknowledge Joey. His full attention is locked on the match he's watching. It's nothing from this week's Havok.

JB: Uh...Joe? Can you talk?

Joe Mama doesn't look away from the TV.

JM: What. Do. You. Want. Joey.

JB: Well, um, people have been looking for you. Grimm and Harley...

JM: Are probably occupying themselves quite nicely right now. I'm too busy to be involved in what they like to call "business." Let them paw at each other like a couple of high school students. I have a match to prepare for.

JB: Is that what you're doing here, in the night, in the dark...?

JM: Nice reference to The Haunting. Just in time for Halloween.

JB: The whozzit?

JM: Exactly. I've been sitting here, undisturbed, watching tapes of Ghost Hog's matches. I've been reviewing match after match, looking for something - anything - that would give me some insight into my opponent. And do you know what I've learned, Joey?

JB: Um...what, Champ?

JM: Absolutely nothing. Ghost Hog has no discernable style. He seemingly has no skill beside stumbling around a ring and lucking his way into what few victories he's got. He is, for all intents and purposes, the most unskilled competitor I've ever faced.

JB: Which makes your match at Halloween Handjobs and easy victory. A mortal lock, as you say...

JM: Not at all. I have nothing to latch onto. Nothing to look for. Nothing to exploit. The fact that he has absolutely no style makes him difficult to plan for or guard against because there are no tip-offs. It's like trying to plan against...

JB: A knuckleballer like Tim Wakefield? You must be happy that the Red Sox are in the World Series...

JM: Did they make it? That's nice.

For weeks, I've been telling people that Ghost Hog is nothing but a drunken waste of space who doesn't deserve his spot on the RDCW roster. But y'know what? It's his drunkedness that makes him so dangerous. He feels no pain because he's completely numb from the cheap booze in his system. You can't defend against his moves - he has none to defend against. It's like battling a hurricane or some other force of nature. No, this is setting up to be one hell of a match. And victory will be difficult to come by...except for one thing.

JB: One thing?

The glow of the television illuminates the horrible look on Joe Mama's face. The glee in his eyes. The rictus grin on his face.

JM: This match - Beyond Thunderdome. It's basically the Fenway Park Street Fight, only enclosed. Plenty of weapons, but nowhere to go. Once we're locked in, Ghost Hog will have the pleasure of me at my most sadistic. I'm going to enjoy testings the limits of his consciousness. Loosie hasn't tasted blood in some time. And I've actually developed some special treats just for this occasion. Grimm likes to believe that he's the most evil competitor in the RDCW. At Halloween Handjobs, as he watches the main event, he'll find out how wrong he is. His relations...hip with Harley has softened him. A satisfied Grimm is a sedate Grimm. I have no such distractions - Ghost Hog has nothing to look forward to but the end of his career. You can't talk about conspiracies with your jaw wired shut. You can't point accusing fingers when your bones are shattered. He likes to drink his alcohol, but at Halloween Handjobs, the only thing any of us will be able to taste is his blood. Our match will be an Eli Roth flick with a better storyline. I'm looking forward to this match...

JB: Um...well, then. Okay. Uh, thanks for your time, Champ.

Joey turns to leave. He motions to the camera to "cut."

Monroe: How many more of these out-of-the-ring segments will we have to sit through tonight?

Marcum: At least one! Look!

The Cheese-O-Tron flickers, then cuts to the inside of Paragon’s office, with a view of the open conference-room door. Inside, Doc Paragon sits at the head of the conference table, with Penny sitting to his right. Balls Nasty sits on one side of the table, and Jade Dragon and Jin Qing Zhi sit across from him, and there are no fewer than six security personnel standing nearby...

Monroe: I wonder what this could be about...

Marcum: Maybe it’s the next chapter of the unfolding Paragongate scandal!

William Paragon: So let me get this straight, Balls. I gave you the match against Jade Dragon you were begging for, and you’re sulking because it didn’t go the way you wanted?

Balls Nasty clenches his fists, but a look at the number of security guards keeps him in his chair.

Balls Nasty: Not exactly. I’m pissed off because this little punk decided to treat our match like a game, and your officials let him. Not only does this pretender think he can just get in the ring and clown Balls Nasty, but Balls Nasty is prevented from sending a message that he and all the other no-talent jobbers need to listen to!

Marcum: He’s right! That match was a travesty!

Monroe:

WP: Like I said. And after all of that, you still feel you deserve to participate in the final match of the RDCW Tryouts... especially after you’ve interfered with every other phase of them?

BN: Look, I’ve been in this business about as long as your average viewer’s been alive. There’s nobody in this promotion more experienced, more talented, more deserving of fame – not to mention a shitload more than what you’re paying – than Balls Nasty. But ever since I got here I’ve been watching you push jobber after jobber where I should be going, up the ladder, and now you expect me to stand around with my dick in my hand while you bring in more nobodies like him?

WP: If you’re unhappy with your compensation, you can take it up with Rob Kamphausen. But if you’re going to sit here, in my office, and bitch about the way I choose to conduct our operations here in the RDCW, operations which are entirely within my purview to manage, there’s the door. Paragon points. Now, give me one good reason why I should give you another match against someone who doesn’t even have an official contract yet. Because from where I’m sitting, Jade Dragon already beat you once.

Monroe: Whoa!

Balls Nasty jumps out of his chair. Security quickly flanks him, and Balls stays put, but remains standing and glares across the table at Jade Dragon...

BN: The sumbitch beat me on a technicality. He manipulated me into taking out your useless referee, then took advantage of the situation and got me counted out of the match! If it were a real wrestling match, and not him trying to smuggle his kung-fu horseshit into the ring, I woulda put the little fucknut in traction!

Paragon leans forward across the table.

WP: And what would you consider a “real wrestling match”?

BN: No count-outs. No disqualifications. Old. School. Hard. Core. The way we used to rumble.

Marcum: That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

WP: You two are awfully quiet over there. Do you understand what he’s saying?

Jin mutters something to Jade Dragon, who nods.

WP: Do you have anything to add to this?

Jade Dragon murmurs something back to Jin.

Jin: Jade Dragon says he welcomes any opportunity to fight. He says if Mister Nasty needs a stipulation to make for fair fighting, he will accommodate him. We will fight any match you choose.

Paragon grins and looks back at Balls.

WP: There. Feel better now? We will consider a stipulation similar to what you’re suggesting. Balls starts to speak, but Paragon holds up a hand and cuts him off... And I will determine that stipulation, along with any other specifics of the match. Now, I think, given your strengths and the strengths of your opponent, there’s one stipulation that will guarantee not only a balanced match, but potentially one of the most exciting matches in quite some time.

Monroe: This is gonna be a good one!

Paragon: We can’t have Falls Count Anywhere, since you lost the last match outside the ring. I’m afraid to include weapons in a match against a martial artist of Jade Dragon’s caliber, for your personal safety. We’ll have to keep you both in the ring to avoid count-outs, and even if the lack of disqualifications means just about anybody can interfere with the match, that will fit into this match nicely. So, you will face off against Jade Dragon in the RDCW Tryouts Final Match at Halloween Handjobs... and it will be... a Running Man Match!

Monroe:

Marcum: What the hell is a Running Man Match?

BN: What the hell is a Running Man Match?

WP: I was hoping you’d ask. Paragon stands up and steps back from his chair. See, you two will be fighting right out there, in that ring. But the match will start on the other side of the Turnpike. In fact, you’ll have twenty minutes to cover the two miles between your starting point and the Cheesedome.

Marcum: That doesn’t sound so bad!

WP: Now, that may sound easy, but keep this in mind: You must both cover the entire distance on your own two feet. If either contestant fails to reach the ring in time, they forfeit the match. And anyone from the starting line to the ring is allowed to – and encouraged to – interfere with or impede either of you.

Paragon looks back and forth between the wrestlers as Jin presumably translates for Jade Dragon.

WP: Still with me? Good. Now, assuming you both make it all the way to the ring, once you’re there, you wrestle until pinfall. No submissions. You can only be disqualified for the use of weapons within the ring. To ensure that you both stay in the ring, pretty much anyone on the RDCW roster who wants to can act as a lumberjack and surround the ring for the duration of the match. And that... is the Running Man Match.

Marcum: Wow! That sounds like it’ll be a... a...

Fat Retard: Drop toe hold!

Monroe: No submissions, remember?

Fat Retard: People’s Elbow!

Marcum: No, that’s not it either! Damn, what was it?

Larry Llawler rips a noxious fart!

Fat Retard: SLOBBERKNOCKER!!!

Single Match
Krazed vs. Killconey

The match began with both high-flyers coming out swinging. Various power moves were exchanged before Krazed hit a low blow on Killconey and then whipped him into the ropes. Krazed committed to a standing dropkick, but Killconey grabbed the ropes and stayed put, and Krazed tumbled to the mat! Killconey kicked at Krazed a few times, then backed off long enough to let Krazed get up. The two then went back to brawling toe-to-toe, which gradually bogged down into a stalemate.

Monroe: Looks like what we saw in the tag match last week.

Krazed ducked under one of Killconey’s punches, then kneed him in the stomach. As Killconey doubled over from the sudden blow, Krazed delivered an overhand smash to the back of his head, dropping him to the mat! With Killconey down, Krazed hurried to the nearest corner and climbed to the turnbuckle...

Marcum: Krazed is about to take to the air!

Krazed leapt off the turnbuckle to execute the Knight, Knight, but Killconey rolled out of the way at the last possible instant, and Krazed caught him off-center, sending both men to the mat!

Monroe: Both men are down! Referee Lothar is counting to ten! Who will get to their feet first?

Krazed and Killconey slowly gathered themselves together at about the same time, and both men instinctively looked toward their respective corners, only to remember that they were in a singles match!

Marcum: Nobody to tag in! Looks like this is it for Killconey!

Killconey scrambled to his feet first, running over to get in a couple quick kicks before Lothar separated the two. Krazed managed to get up... and then started yelling at Chewy Walrus and Sweet Marlene, who had come down to ringside to watch the match!

Monroe: Krazed had better pay attention to the match!

Marcum: He’s outraged at Chewy’s interference! It’s ridiculous!

While Krazed and Chewy continued arguing, Big Pimp Tim and Heidi Schwartz made their way down the ramp, and Killconey immediately ran to that corner, followed closely by Lothar, who started ordering the bunch outside the ring to back away. But while everyone else was distracted, J circled around the ring and handed Krazed a steel chair!

Marcum: Look out!

Krazed grabbed the chair, then just as Killconey turned around, Krazed nailed him with it! Krazed quickly tossed the chair aside, and J fetched it and scurried away. Lothar turned around just in time to see Krazed go for the cover. Krazed got the three-count and James White rang the bell.

Marcum: Krazed wins! Krazed wins!

Monroe: Via cheap shot.

Krazed wasn’t able to celebrate long, though. Sweet Marlene hurried into the ring to check on Killconey, and Chewy Walrus entered the ring at the same time. Krazed slid under the ropes and joined BPT, Schwartz and J as they backed up the ramp, shouting back and forth with the Cheapions until the show faded to a plug for Larry Llawler’s new book debunking most of the points made in The Self-Destruction of Ultimate Jaburg53...

Hotties Handicap Match
Meeko/Sweet Marlene vs. Schwartz

Havok returned from break with all three women in the ring. Marlene decided to go first as Meeko stood on the apron as Schwartz readied herself.

Monroe: Schwartz could not find a partner tonight, as no one wanted to team with her due to her past history with partners.

MarcuM: Hey, she simply hasn't found anyone else at her level!

Schwartz battled valiantly, but the numbers advantage between Meeko and Marlene eventually wore her down. As the female Cheapions worked on Schwartz, Sick of Life by Godsmack began to play as J walked down to ringside.

Monroe: What the hell is he doing here? I don't see him carrying any sodas!

MarcuM: He's seeing to Schwartz' protection, just like BPT told him to!

Indeed, as the women fought, J climbed up onto the apron and into Schwartz's corner. As Schwartz was knocked backwards by a double dropkick, J tagged himself into the match!

Monroe: J's in the ring! He just tagged into the ring!

MarcuM: Lothar's allowing it!

J stepped into the ring and caught Meeko with a Ridgesword, following up on Marlene with an Elbow Slammer! J strutted around the ring, letting out a pair of s as the crowd jeered him heavily. J taunted the crowd, confident in his prowess.

Monroe: This is disgusting! I can't believe Lothar's letting this go on!

MarcuM: Hey, it's about time someone put those two arrogant women in their place!

Monroe:

J turned around, prepared to continue his dominance, but was caught by a kick to the gut and a Meekoplex! J landed on his head and groggily went to the ropes were a fresh Schwartz tagged back in! Schwartz caught Meeko with a Crowd Control (Widow's Peak), taking her out!

Marlene attempted to get back into the match, but tripped over the still groggy J, allowing for Schwartz to hit another Crowd Control and get the three count!

MarcuM: Brilliant! J and Schwartz just outsmarted the Cheapions! I love it!

Monroe: You would.

MarcuM: The West Side Rollers are dominating tonight! It's a preview of Halloween Handjobs!

Monroe: We'll see if they can hold up, Big Pimp Tim vs. Chewy Walrus! Next!

Singles Match
Chewy Walrus vs. Big Pimp Tim

After the controversial decision between Krazed and Killconey, [and then the incident in the Handicap Match,] both factions were restricted from ringside, and Chewy Walrus and Big Pimp Tim made their way to the ring unaccompanied. Both men came out of their corners intent upon settling the score, and it wasn’t long before Chewy drew first blood with a hard right to BPT’s left cheekbone! Shortly afterward, BPT got his revenge with a kick that cut Chewy’s forehead open!

Monroe: Both men are already bleeding! This is shaping up to be one brutal match!

The two brawlers traded blows for a while, but both seemed a bit distracted by the blood, and a few moves were countered a bit too easily. Finally, BPT got the upper hand and whipped the bigger Chewy into the ropes, but Chewy recovered his balance on the rebound and leveled BPT with a Walrus Wallop clothesline, following that up with a Wrecking Ball leg drop!

Monroe: Buhgawb!

Fat Retard: German Suplex!

BPT was slow to get to his feet, but he managed to ward off a series of hard blows from Chewy, then began to mount a comeback of his own, getting in some good punches and kicks.

Marcum: It’s gonna be another dramatic comeback for Big Pimp Tim! Chewy’s going over the top rope!

BPT slung Chewy into the ropes, then leg-swept him to the mat and tried to lock Chewy into the Bitch Maker. BPT applied pressure and tried to make Chewy tap, but the big man wriggled an elbow free and slammed it into BPT, forcing him to break the hold. BPT shifted position and maneuvered Chewy into a sleeper hold, hoping another submission attempt would be more successful than the first...

Marcum: Can Chewy Walrus withstand another submission attempt?

Chewy started to succumb to the chokehold, but the crowd began chanting for him, which seemed to revive the big man a bit...

Monroe: He may be coming around!

Big Pimp Tim desperately held Chewy in the sleeper hold, but Chewy slowly got to his feet. He elbowed BPT in the midsection once, then twice, then broke free and slung BPT into the ropes. BPT grabbed the ropes and held on, then when Chewy came over, he nailed him with a low blow, followed by a leg-sweep to the mat. BPT bounced off the ropes and hit Chewy with a big leg drop, then went for a quick cover!

Marcum: This could be it!

Chewy kicked out after a two-count, and a frustrated Big Pimp Tim backed off and waited for Chewy to stagger back to his feet...

Marcum: Pin or no pin, Chewy’s about to go over the top rope!

Big Pimp Tim moved Chewy toward the ropes, but couldn’t get him out of the ring. He shoved Chewy into the ropes, but Chewy bounced back into him and knocked him to the mat. BPT jumped back up, kicked the dazed Chewy in the midsection, and then launched himself into the opposite ropes and back at Chewy...

Marcum: Here it comes!

Just as BPT was about to launch himself into Chewy and send him over the top rope, Chewy reached out and caught BPT in a chokehold!

Monroe: Watch out!

Big Pimp Tim struggled, but couldn’t break the hold, and Chewy executed his Random Acts of Violence, chokeslamming BPT into the mat with authority! Chewy went for the cover and the pin, and James White rang the bell!

Monroe: And after taking losses all night, the Cheapions finally strike back!

The remaining members of both factions charged down the ramp, but security converged on them quickly and separated the Cheapions from the West Side Rollers before they could tear into one another again...

Monroe: The Cheapions! The West Side Rollers! It’s an all-out war, and it’s heading straight into Halloween Handjobs! Just where will this end? Stay tuned – our main event is coming up next!

Main Event

Johnny Evil vs. El Superbeasto

“Back From the Grave sounded as an angry El Superbeasto made his way down to ringside. The Giant Luchadore paced around the ringside area as he waited for his former ally to appear. “Ghaleon’s Theme” then played as Ariel walked out onto the rampway, wearing a “DOOMCHOKE!” belly shirt.

She taunted Superbeasto from the entranceway as the Giant seethed. Finally, Hiro and BFE jumped out of the crowd and attacked Superbeasto from behind, attempting to lay out the Giant Luchadore.

But Superbeasto battled back, using his massive power to toss the Otaku members around the ring like they were small children! Johnny Evil jumped into the ring and attempted to hit Superbeasto with a chairshot, but the Giant turned and caught him by surprise! Evil dropped the chair and attempted to bail out of the ring, but Superbeasto caught him b his pants and pulled him back into the ring!

He bounced Evil around the ring with a series of Giant Headbutts, sending him sprawling around and into the ropes. BFE climbed up onto the apron, attempting to distract Superbeasto and the referee, as Hiro climbed the turnbuckles.

But before Hiro could interfere, a masked figure ran down to ringside and shoved the silent Otaku member off of the turnbuckle, sending him to the mat!

Monroe: Amuck! That’s Amuck! That’s Grimm’s backup for dealing with the Otaku!

MarcuM: That’s illegal! He’s got no right being at ringside!

Amuck climbed the turnbuckles and nailed Hiro with a Running Amuck (Arabian Facebuster), and dumped him out of the ring! Amuck continued brawling with Hiro at ringside as Grimm appeared, pulling BFE off of the ring apron and nailing him with a series of left handed punches!

In the entranceway as Ariel screamed at the Otaku, Harleykwin arrived behind her and nailed her with a sitout face buster on the rampway!

Back in the ring, Superbeasto finished off Evil with a Chokeslam to Oblivion for the pinfall! As Superbeasto celebrated his win, Grimm slid into the ring and hit him with a low blow! Grimm managed to get the Giant up for an overhead Grimmplex, which sent the monster through the mat!

Brawls were erupting throughout the arena, as the entire RDCW locker room emptied out into the ringside area! The MWO, Balls Nasty, Jade Dragon, the Cheapions, the West Side Rollers, the Otaku, Superbeasto, Grimm, Amuck, King Snarf, the Fantastic Bros., Charlie & the Bastards, all joined in the massive brawl that ensued!

Finally, “Renegades of Funk” began to play as Ghost Hog slowly walked out onto the rampway, holding a chair wrapped in towels in one hand. He pulled a lighter out of his pocket and held it to the chair, which became engulfed in flame!

Monroe: It’s the fire chair!

MarcuM: Ghost Hog’s crazy! Look out!

Ghost Hog held the chair out in front of him and ran down to ringside, as wrestlers ducked, ran, jumped, and rolled out of his way! The Hog of War slid into the ring with his chair, and looked for a target as Johnny Evil was pulled away by The Otaku!

Ghost Hog swung the chair at Grimm, who stood awaiting. The chair stopped inches away from him as he looked Ghost Hog in the face. Ghost Hog paused, unsure of what to do next as Grimm turned his back to Ghost Hog and held out his arms. Uncertainty washed over Ghost Hog as he lifted the fire chair in preparation to strike. But before Ghost Hog could make a decision he was hit from behind by a shot from Loosy!

Monroe: Joe Mama is here! The Enforcer just blasted Ghost Hog with Loosy!

MarcuM: Ghost Hog dropped the fire chair!

JM nailed the Hog of War with another shot from Loosy, this time raking the barbed wire wrapped bat across GH’s back! The two brawled in the now cleared ring as the fire chair burned away in the center of the ring!

GH whipped JM across the ring and attempted to hit an Iron Cross, but JM caught him and delivered an Enforcer spine buster! JM motioned for the finish and picked GH up, but GH caught him by surprise with an eye rake and delivered a devastating Pork U, dropping both men directly onto the flaming chair!

Monroe: OH MY GOB!!!!!!!!!

MarcuM: Both men hit the chair! BOTH MEN HIT THE CHAIR!!!

Both men rolled around the ring in pain from the flames as EMTs rushed down, followed by Paragon, security officials, and referees.

Monroe: Both men landed on the fiery chair! How will this affect Halloween Handjobs? Fans, we are out of time! We’ll see you on pay per view!