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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 15,230 Likes: 1
Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
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OP
Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 15,230 Likes: 1 |
I quit my old job about 10 months ago. My former employer has kept my e-mail account open. This is apparently because either they like reading my personal e-mails sent to me by friends who have forgotten that I have moved or didn't know I moved, or because they are pretending to be me to solicit work from my old clients.
I find this annoying. The person who has to read the e-mails is friendly and a bit embarrassed about it all, and I think she is having to do it at the direction of her boss.
What do you need to do?
Send e-mails to my old e-mail address. The e-mails should be headed "Urgent instructions!", "For immediate action!", "Instructions", "Query on Account", "Proposed amendments", "Settlement proposal", "Legal issues on contract", "US-based client - litigation" and similar titles so we can be sure the e-mail is opened.
Once opened, the e-mail should contain have the most stupid thing you can think of. It should not be crude (that would be an serious offence, and the girl reading it as I said is nice) and it should not make any reference to me or the competition, but it should be utterly inane. Got a picture of a ceramic roof tile? Got some shitty love poetry? Got a surrealist joke? Then this contest is for you, and you can be sure you will annoy the people who ultimately read your e-mail.
As this is a competition, there is also a prize. I have a limited edition copy of a CD compilation of 56 tracks of local rock and indie music produced by the local Music Industry Association and has 19 video clips with it. You can't buy it. Its very good and intended only for music industry executives. I only have a copy because I am ridiculously good looking.
Post your content here. I'll be the judge of the most stupid thing which is sent. Winner gets the CD. I'll send it to you.
If you want to participate then PM me and I'll send you the target e-mail address.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/blogban3.jpg) [/center] [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/jlamiska.jpg) [/center]
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618
Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
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Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618 |
As this is a competition, there is also a prize. I have a limited edition copy of a CD compilation of 56 tracks of local rock and indie music produced by the local Music Industry Association and has 19 video clips with it.
YEAH! I CAN'T WAIT!!!
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
Really though. A competition based on being stupid.
Dave's shopping in the right neighborhood today.
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
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Can I have said email address so I may partake in the stupidity?
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,820
cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,820 |
david, might i also suggest the email address be added to ever opt-in newsletter imagineable? every single e-commerce site, for example, has a newsletter, many with multiple daily updates.
additionally, you could register an account using that email on random message boards that use a "notify when reply" feature, that sends the user an email to their registered account every time a reply is made to a thread or forum they're subscribed to.
giant picture
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
I know fryebug sends me e-mails like a mo-fo...
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,820
cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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yeah, thats actually terrible. i gotta turn that shit off.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734
Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
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Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
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while i agree i must say rob you worked so hard on the site turning the site off may be a bit too much, maybe just disabling the emails would be a better way to go.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,793 Likes: 3
Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,793 Likes: 3 |
no no, it's robs site to do what he wants with. I support you, robert!
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Joined: Oct 2000
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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if i didn't have lildeath deported, i'd so send him to both your houses!! 
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Posts: 8,970
URG am real man! 7500+ posts
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URG am real man! 7500+ posts
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 8,970 |
You am one ruthless fuker,Robbie
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 15,230 Likes: 1
Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
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OP
Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 15,230 Likes: 1 |
Wednesday Perkins, it is good music, if you like that sort of thing. david, might i also suggest the email address be added to ever opt-in newsletter imagineable? every single e-commerce site, for example, has a newsletter, many with multiple daily updates.
additionally, you could register an account using that email on random message boards that use a "notify when reply" feature, that sends the user an email to their registered account every time a reply is made to a thread or forum they're subscribed to.
Yes, that is a task for the weekend. The more static the better. So far we have four contestants, the usual suspects but with some notable omissions (SoNeil of Mxy, I'm looking at you, kid). Joe Mama, you need to PM me so I can PM you the address.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 15,230 Likes: 1
Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
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OP
Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 15,230 Likes: 1 |
E-mail address is away. Let the games begin.
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
Sent today
G'day Mr Stewart,
I am writing to contact you about the contract you did not draw up for me (did you notice how I used the words contract & contact which are exactly the same, apart from one has an R in it? Amazing).
Now, the contract you did not draw up for me is full of mistakes, and I take issue with this, despite the fact it does not exist.
How am I expected to sign a contract that:
a) has much badness in it
b) does not exist
If you would be so kind as to not reply to this email, I would take it as an honour if you would eat my children.
Thankyou in advance
Paul Mandrall-Kamphausen
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
Got this reply:
Thank you for your e-mail. Please note that David Stewart is no longer a contact for Minter Ellison.
Please amend your records to show that all correspondence should now be addressed for the attention of Carrie Bradley.
Please immediately re-send your e-mail to *edited in case Dave moans*
Our apologies for any inconvenience.
MINTER ELLISON
This was an out of office auto reply email.
Does this mean they are no longer reading them?
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,820
cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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i still can't believe you didn't take my name.
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Officially "too old for this shit" 15000+ posts
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Officially "too old for this shit" 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
i still can't believe you didn't take my name. He always wanted to be double barreled!
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Posts: 460
Pun-damentalist nutjob 400+ posts
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Pun-damentalist nutjob 400+ posts
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 460 |
What kind of place did you work at? A barrage of the worst puns I can think of oughtta take top prize.
This is not vengeance. This is pun-ishment.
"The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability." — Edgar Allan Poe
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
Cowboy In Me
Tim McGraw
I don't know why I act the way I do
Like I ain't got a single thing to lose
Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy
I guess that's just the cowboy in me
I got a life that most would love to have
But sometimes I still wake up fightin' mad
At where this road I'm heading down might lead
I guess that's just the cowboy in me
The urge to run, the restlessness
The heart of stone I sometimes get
The things I've done for foolish pride
The me that's never satisfied
The face that's in the mirror when I don't like what I see
I guess that's just the cowboy in me
The urge to run, the restlessness
The heart of stone I sometimes get
The things I've done for foolish pride
The me that's never satisfied
The face that's in the mirror when I don't like what I see
I guess that's just the cowboy in me
Girl I know there's times you must have thought
There ain't a line you've drawn I haven't crossed
But you set your mind to see this love on through
I guess that's just the cowboy in you
We ride and never worry about the fall
I guess that's just the cowboy in us all
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Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158 |
CELINE DION
That's Just The Woman In Me
If your shoes refuse to shine
And your legs don't walk in line
And tomorrow it's just another time, yeah
That's just the woman in me, baby
That's just the woman in me, baby
That's just the woman walking on you
And if your feet can't find the floor
And your key won't fit the door
And you forgot just that two twos are four, yeah
That's just the woman in me, baby
That's just the woman in me, baby
That's just the woman walking on you
Oh yeah, now
And I've seen you wandering, baby
Up and down my street, yeah
Trying to explain that
I caused all this pain
To all the people that you meet
Searching for that imperious,
mysterious femme fatal kind of stuff, yeah
But if you don't know by now
That it's me anyhow
Then baby, you've got it wrong
So if your play gets so confused
and you TV is blowing the fuse
just come on over you've got nothing to lose
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
That's just the woman in me, baby
That's just the woman in me, baby
That's just the woman walking on you
walking on you
walking on you
walking on you
'Cause I need, I need a man to love
Because I need a man to love...
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 15,230 Likes: 1
Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
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OP
Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 15,230 Likes: 1 |
Sent today
G'day Mr Stewart,
I am writing to contact you about the contract you did not draw up for me (did you notice how I used the words contract & contact which are exactly the same, apart from one has an R in it? Amazing).
Now, the contract you did not draw up for me is full of mistakes, and I take issue with this, despite the fact it does not exist.
How am I expected to sign a contract that:
a) has much badness in it
b) does not exist
If you would be so kind as to not reply to this email, I would take it as an honour if you would eat my children.
Thankyou in advance
Paul Mandrall-Kamphausen
Disqualified! You mentioned my name!
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
Well the fact it has you name in the email address, makes it pretty simple that it anyone writing to it is gonna write to Mr.Stewart, thats not exactly gonna lead them back to you is it ya Aussie monkey!
Anyway, you are Mrs Stewart not Mr, so technically I did not mention you!
Queer!
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
Plus, I'm the only cunt who has even bothered.
Fuck off!
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 345
Queen of the Geeks 300+ posts
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Queen of the Geeks 300+ posts
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 345 |
OooHH! Me! I want to send stupid things via e-mail!
I don't do drugs, because I am drugs!-Salvador Dali
MST3K:
Master's Wife: The child is a female. She must not be destroyed. She will grow up to be a woman.
Joel: Oh, is that how that works!
Wednesday-I will make for you a brother. He will be Jason Jr.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158 |
Carrie Underwood
Some Hearts
I've never been the kind that you'd call lucky
Always stumbling' around in circles
But I must have stumbled into something
Look at me
Am I really alone with you
I wake up feeling like my life's worth living
Can't recall when I last felt that way
Guess it must be all this love you're giving
Never knew never knew it could be like this
But I guess
Some hearts
They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side
Some hearts,
They just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts just get lucky, lucky sometimes
Now who'd have thought someone like you could love me
You're the last thing my heart expected
Who'd have thought I'd ever find somebody
Someone who someone who makes me feel like this
Well I guess
Some hearts
They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side, yes
Some hearts,
They just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Ohhhhhh
Even hearts like mine
Get lucky, lucky sometimes
Even hearts like mine
Ohhhhhhhh
Some hearts,
They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side
Some hearts,
They just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts
They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side, yes
Some hearts,
They just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 15,230 Likes: 1
Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
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OP
Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 15,230 Likes: 1 |
Plus, I'm the only cunt who has even bothered.
Fuck off! Well, then you win!
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
Too late, I decline this faux win!
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 17,853 Likes: 3
Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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Posts: 17,853 Likes: 3 |
hey sorry I was late. I was busy being fired from my job because of youtube. Can I still join?
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
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Posts: 17,853 Likes: 3
Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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Posts: 17,853 Likes: 3 |
fuck you, welshie. There's nothing wrong with posting sexy videos of women from the upper management!
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
There is when those women are Rob
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Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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Joined: Oct 2001
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
Then lets never speak of that incident again!
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19,430 Likes: 8
brother from another mother 15000+ posts
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brother from another mother 15000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19,430 Likes: 8 |
Stop flirting with the little chinese boy!
"My friends have always been the best of me." -Doctor Who
"Well,whenever I'm confused,I just check my underwear. It holds most answers to life's questions." Abe Simpson
I can tell by the position of the sun in the sky, that is time for us to go. Until next time, I am Lothar of the Hill People!
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Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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Posts: 18,158 |
Bernard Jeffrey McCullough (October 5, 1957 – August 9, 2008), better known by the stage name Bernie Mac, was an American actor and comedian. Born and raised on the South Side of Chicago, Mac gained popularity as a stand-up comedian. He joined comedians Steve Harvey, Cedric the Entertainer and D.L. Hughley as The Original Kings of Comedy.After briefly hosting the HBO show Midnight Mac, Mac appeared in several films in smaller roles. His most noted film role was as Frank Catton in the remake Ocean's Eleven and its two sequels. Mac also starred in several films, including Mr. 3000. He was the star of The Bernie Mac Show, which ran from 2001-2006, earning two Emmy Award nominations for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. Other films included Friday, Pride, Bad Santa and Transformers
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