RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Writer's Block Birth of the Meta Board League, Book 1: NOMINATION

This is a retelling, for the first time, of how the MBL was formed. It is based on a 1999 thread in the JLA forum of the old DC Comics Message Boards. It was called, "WHICH 7 USERS WOULD BE IN YOUR MESSAGE BOARD LEAGUE AND WHAT WOULD THEIR POWERS BE?" Begun by a DCMB member named Mad67, over fifty members contributed to the thread with their ideas for answering the question. Soon, in a tongue-in-cheek fashion, members began writing biographies and back stories based on other members' usernames and posting habits. From there, something akin to roleplaying began to develop as these members interacted with each other, creating a kind of loose narrative structure.

By the end of the eight-page thread, a team had been formed called the Message Board League. It was led by a member named Rypta gud'n and had several members. More importantly, the following threads featuring the Message Board League, unlike the first one, were expressly written as stories. In the years that followed, these stories became increasingly sophisticated and complex.

As a member of the Message Board League since early 2000, I've always wanted to shape that crazy, confusing original MBL thread into a story structure that was at least as sophisticated, if not more, than any that followed. After doing several close readings of that thread, and making many notes, this is my attempt to (re)write the origin story of the MBL.

Also included in this story are "times past" stories written by Gooz, Chewy Walrus, Kristogar Velo and Mxy, which take place during this story. For the most part, I'll keep the texts as they wrote it intact, with a few alterations to make it fit smoothly in the larger story. In each case I'll give credit where credit is due.

Please note that I've altered most of the names from the original thread for several reasons. First, many of the names are simply silly and meant for comedy, not drama. Second, most of the names are the usernames of DCMB members and simply don't fit as metahero (superhero) names. Third, some of the names are variations on copyrighted characters that have no relation to the MBL in any way. Finally, I've also made changes to make the story and the world it creates more believable and aesthetically pleasing. I hope that you will find this story enjoyable on its own merit.

Note: This is a story I'm currently working on at my BLAMguard site. Whenever I make changes to the chapters there, I'll try to make the same changes here. If all goes as planned, this will be a 28-chapter story. All comments are welcome.

Chapter 01: The Plan of Meta 7
by The Time Trust


Spring, 1999:

Nobody knows where they came from, or why they have the abilities they do, but metahumans have been around for many years. There had always been rumors of men and women who possessed strange powers and abilities. Stories of gods, heroes and monsters had circulated in legends throughout the world for as long as mankind has existed. But it was not until the 1930s, when they first became known to the public, that metahumans began to be an everyday reality.

Metaman was the first mystery man (as they were called in the early days) to use his powers in public, beginning in 1938. There had been other mystery men before him, but none of them had the range of powers as Metaman, and none of them had acted openly under the watchful eye of the public. Metaman was unique at the time, but those who came after him owed him a debt, for he had liberated them from the tyranny of secrecy. He had proven that the existence of metahumans (as they began to be called after his first appearance) was not at all devastating to the public, as it soon got used to them, even regarding them as heroes, or metaheroes.

A team of metahumans calling themselves the Mystery Men had formed in early 1939, but this group steadfastly refused to work in the open, instead remaining in the shadows. After the outbreak of war in Europe that year, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt foresaw a need for a team of metaheroes to protect the United States. Metaman had been the very first mystery man to begin working alongside the authorities, and, with his help, FDR set up the Mysterymen Board in late 1939, a governmental regulatory board that was run completely by bureaucrats. It was essentially useless for almost a whole year, until FDR used it to found a team of metaheroes who could be called upon by the government in the nation's hour of need. Thus, in 1940 the team called the Mystery Men was voluntarily disbanded to found the Mysterymen Board Society -- or the MBS -- under FDR's direction, its membership made up of the greatest American mystery men of the time. The MBS operated from 1940 until 1951, being most active during World War II.

During that time, FDR formed another team called the All-Adventurers Squadron, which included nearly every willing metahero active at the time, and its missions were much more varied than that of the MBS. Throughout much of the war, for instance, a number of AAS members were used as bodyguards for military figures and even Hollywood celebrities. During the "Pin-Up Girl Crisis" of 1944, its most well-known case, AAS members protected such famed celebrities as Betty Grable, Rita Hayworth, Myrna Loy, and others from a kidnapping plot by fifth columnists working under the direction of a top-ranking Nazi general. The AAS was active from 1942 until war's end in 1945, when it was no longer needed.

Most of the metahumans during World War II had operated on the side of the Allies, but with the end of the war, more and more metapowered criminals, called metavillains, began to appear. Metahumans who could neither be considered metaheroes nor metavillains also began appearing in larger numbers. The population of metahumans in the world had grown so much over the course of a decade, in fact, that some kind of regulation was needed. A few metahumans, foreseeing that they would soon fall under such regulation whether they wanted it or not, took it upon themselves to set up a self-regulatory board of their own under the auspices of the United Nations. Thus, the United Nations Board of Metahumans (UNBOM) was created in 1951, following the disbanding that year of the MBS and the closure of the Mysterymen Board. The first chairman of UNBOM was the celebrated Metaman, who used the respect he had earned as a hero to gain political respect for metaheroes.

UNBOM, nicknamed the Meta Board, proved to be a very useful non-governmental organization over the next fifty years. It kept governments and lawmakers happy by lending metahero help to deal with metahuman problems, and it provided financing for a number of metahero groups that appeared during that time. The most notable of these groups were the Metamen Five and the Excelsior Seven of the 1960s, the Metahero Pals of the 1970s, and the Metahero League of America of the 1980s and early 1990s. Unfortunately, no team (except for the Forgotten Metaheroes, who operated sporadically from the late 1970s through the early 1990s) was able to last for longer than a few years before breaking up. Each lacked the focus that the war had provided the MBS.

By the late 1990s, most metaheroes acted independently, with a few exceptions such as the low-profile Living Legends Brigade (the LLB), a kind of social club for metahumans who occasionally acted as heroes. The Warriors had operated in Underwood until that city's destruction in 1993. But the most popular, most high-profile team of the day was undoubtedly the Seven Senses. Founded as the Six Senses under great fanfare in 1995 by sixteen-year-old prodigy Doug Silver, each member of the youthful team possessed the ability to alter reality, an ability that was both more powerful and easier to control when they acted together. The founding members of this team were Knight De Facto (the leader), Ace Martian, Caped Cadet, Generator, Brain Tech, and Hooligan. When its youngest member, the eleven-year-old Dusky Steve, joined the team the following year in 1996, the team changed its name to the Seven Senses and became more popular than ever before. Even after the tragic death of Brain Tech in 1998 and his immediate replacement by metavillain-turned-metahero Albino Chameleon, a former enemy of the team, the Seven Senses members were on top of the world. Nothing seemed able to stop them.

Today, however, the front pages of every major newspaper in the world carried a variation on the following headline from the Thunder City Gazette:

"THE SEVEN SENSES DISBAND!"

No reasons were given to the public for the disbanding of what had outwardly seemed to be the metahero team with the most promise, but the tabloids had a field day. There had long been rumors of infighting between the members, especially concerning the newest member, Albino Chameleon. A.C., as he was called, was known to have a bad temper, and despite having a villain-to-hero story that had charmed the public, his personal life was in shambles. Insiders said that he was hard to deal with, that he had erratic mood swings that made him unpredictable and caused much tension with his teammates. Some tabloids even claimed that he had been brainwashed by the team into becoming a metahero, and that his recent bad behavior was his real personality breaking through after nearly a year of repression. Some claimed that the Seven Senses had broken up when Brain Tech died a year ago and had only made a few public appearances since then until they were ready to announce it to the world. One even claimed that A.C. had planned the disbanding of the team from the start, even going so far as suggesting -- without saying so -- that he had killed Brain Tech and replaced him on the team in order to accomplish as a team member what he had never been able to do as the team's enemy. Although they disagreed on the details, they all agreed that A.C. was to blame for the breakup.

The disbanding of the Seven Senses was much more than fodder for tabloids and gossip columnists. It had been the only team that worked closely with the Meta Board, and the only one easily called upon when disaster struck. The sheer power that the team wielded when together guaranteed that it was capable of handling almost any major threat that the Earth faced. The existence of extraterrestrials had been known to the public since the 1960s, after the first wave of minor invasions, mostly fought off by heroes such as the Metamen Five and Superfast Man. Although the world had not yet faced a massive, widespread extraterrestrial invasion, it lived in constant fear that such an invasion was inevitable. The disbanding of the Seven Senses was one more reason to fear that the Earth was not ready to face this inevitability.

The metahumans of the world, as powerful as they were, largely acted independently. This was seen as both a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing because, besides the threat of extraterrestrial invasion, the thing people feared most was a revolution of metahumans working together to conquer or destroy the world. It was a curse because all an extraterrestrial force had to do was realize that the metahero protectors of the world were divided, and that the first half of a divide-and-conquer strategy essentially had already been done for them. No single metahero held enough power to stop an entire invasion force, and only as a well-organized team could the metaheroes of the world keep the world safe from such a threat.

All these considerations and more brought the Meta Board's chairman and vice-chairman to UNBOM's newest piece of real estate, a refurbished extraterrestrial starship on the Moon that they had dubbed the Watchtower. The chairman was a metahero variously known as Kohoutek, the Golden Comet, and currently Meta 7, since he was the seventh chairman of UNBOM. The Meta Board's vice-chairman was his old friend and his fellow teammate in the Metahero League of America a decade earlier, Damocles.

"Aren't you concerned about this?" Damocles said, slapping his hand over the newspaper headline for emphasis. "Our mobilization ability has just been cut in half."

The man who took his name after the the Greek legend of the sword of Damocles was a tall, imposing figure who wore an electronic mask with sensory equipment built within it and a navy blue and maroon bodysuit. He was not one of the most powerful metahumans, but he possessed limited shapechanging abilities that allowed him to alter his facial features as well as vary his height and body shape to impersonate almost anyone, and he could heal almost any injury he received short of decapitation. Still, he was most well known for his formidable martial arts and hand-to-hand combat abilities, and he preferred these acquired skills, often in concert with his signature metal quarterstaff that fired energy beams from either end, over his metahuman ones.

As his friend fretted over the news, Meta 7 calmly stood watching the Earth from under the massive glass dome above them. He was casually attired in a dark gray business suit made of advanced fabrics as strong and flexible as any other metahero costume. His face was uncovered, but this was an illusion. His real face was disguised using a technique known only to himself, and which only he could afford to maintain. After all, he was one of the wealthiest men in the world.

He was called Meta 7 now, but when he debuted in 1986, he initially called himself the Golden Comet, instead ending up being known by the world under the nickname Kohoutek, thanks to a clever New York Times columnist. Boosting his profile with his own money, he had made himself very popular at the time, even being touted by Newsweek that year as the hero of the century, but no amount of money could keep his star from falling after he failed to live up to his press. He was soon found to be somewhat of a dud, quickly turning into simply another B-list metahero, one of many. It was to his credit that he took the situation well, formally adopting the nickname Kohoutek as his professional name in honor of both the 1973 comet that had granted him powers as a six-year old child, and the fact that the same comet had also failed to live up to its hype when it appeared. In 1987, Kohoutek helped found the Metahero League of America with other metaheroes of the time, including Damocles, Johnny Morphus, the Scout Marksman, and others. After the MLA disbanded in 1992, he was happy to take up the role of UNBOM chairman and quickly settled into the life of a bureaucrat under the name Meta 7. Still, it had been years since the glory days of the Meta Board under the leadership of Metaman. Ever since his retirement, it had been chaired by has-been metaheroes. He idly wondered if there was any need at all for the Meta Board any longer.

He also began to think about cycles. He had been changed by the comet Kohoutek in 1973, when he was six years old. Thirteen years had passed until his power finally manifested itself in 1986, around the same time that Halley's Comet returned, and he used that power to become a world-famous metahero. It was now 1999, and another thirteen years had now passed, his power visibly waning in that time. He had been hoping that another comet would boost his power again on its own, as it had in 1986, but nothing had as yet happened. If a comet did not come to him, would he have to visit a comet?

"Tek, are you listening to me?" said Damocles, using the nickname Meta 7 had been called by his teammates in the MLA.

"Hmm?" said Meta 7, turning slightly. "Oh, right. The Seven Senses. It really is a shame about their breakup, isn't it?"

"It's more than just a shame, Tek. Unless we can sign a deal with the LLB, we've got no team to work with, and besides the other board members, only a handful of metas even know who we are any more. We're unable to mobilize a team in an emergency. It's only a matter of time before the rest of the world realizes how useless we are and sets up its own regulatory board. You can be sure that none of us will be invited to be a part of that."

"Dam, you worry too much," said Meta 7, chuckling. His longtime friend and ally appeared to the world to have a gruff, forbidding personality, but he knew that Damocles truly cared about the world, possibly more than was healthy. "I've... been working on something of my own as of late."

"You mean the team you put together for the Antarctica case?" laughed Damocles. "Tek, they were good enough to retrieve this starship for you, but from what you've told me, they hardly worked well together as a team. Whatever happened to them, anyway?"

Meta 7 was silent as he thought back to the recent case. He had sent out electronic invitations to meet him in Venice, Italy, to a number of possible candidates, including two Golden Age heroes, Rhyme Guardian, who could control "rhyme energy," and the Trout, an aquatic hero. He had also invited Exile, a telepath from the FBI's fledgling metahuman agent program, and had spent a modest fortune securing the services of a formidable professional assassin with invisibility powers called Hawley Griffin, or the Invisible Man. Rounding out the group were Spark, a metahero with ice powers, and Sente, a half-human, half-robot cyborg from the future who possessed death-vision and had apparently killed another metahero to get a spot at the meeting.

He had sent this motley crew of metahumans on a mission to Antarctica to retrieve an ancient starship buried miles beneath that continent's icy mantle before a Russian-American joint military expedition reached it. He had known there was a chance that the extraterrestrial beings within it, called the Basilisks, had been kept in suspended animation and would revive once the ship was interfered with. He had been correct. It turned out that there was a traitorous plot by a U.S. Army general to use the Seven Senses, who had been called in to protect the expedition, to open up an interdimensional void that would enable a massive extraterrestrial invasion. Instead, his group of metas -- joined by the young Dusky Steve after the Invisible Man fled due to a breach of contract -- had been used by the Basilisks to open this void. It was only due to the sacrifice of most of these metas that the entryway to the void was closed, and the invasion was thwarted. Sente was the first to die, followed by the Trout. Exile and Spark, along with two young stowaways from Venice and their dog, were sucked into the void as it closed in order to save Dusky Steve's life, and there was almost no chance that they had survived. Only Rhyme Guardian and Dusky Steve lived to return from the mission, and they had already returned to their old lives.

"Two of them died," Meta 7 said simply, "and the others went missing."

"Ah. Sorry about that, old man. I'd forgotten."

"It's not a problem. Anyway, I wasn't referring to that group. Forming such a team was an experiment in mobilization, and it worked, at least for its own purposes. Still, it was only a short-term solution. For the long-term, we need a team willing to stick together and train endlessly to become a well-oiled machine. I've already set a plan in motion to gather such a team."

Beneath his mask, Damocles' right eyebrow rose in puzzlement. "What have you done, Tek?"

"Don't worry," Meta 7 said, laughing at his companion's panicked voice. "I was planning on running it by the board this week."

Damocles had folded his arms together. "Well? Are you going to tell me what's happened, or do I have to guess for myself when you begin talking in your sleep again?"

"I never was able to keep secrets from you for very long," Meta 7 agreed. "No, as much as I like to play my cards close to the chest, I feel that the time is right to be as completely transparent about my plans as possible. Dam, I'm planning a recruitment drive for a new team."

"Are you crazy?" asked Damocles. "There's no way you'll be able to convince a lot of independent-minded metaheroes to join into this 'well-oiled machine' you keep harping on about."

Meta 7 said, "How do you think the MBS was formed?"

"You're not FDR, and this isn't World War II," replied Damocles. "Metaheroes just aren't interested in working together any longer. They've each got their own careers, their own territories, and their own reasons for doing what they do. That's why we need to start looking for another group like the Seven Senses, a group that's like a family, one comprising members who have never worked solo. We could try approaching the LLB again. Or maybe we could try tracking down the members of that team from Underwood. You know, the Warriors? I heard a rumor about Tobias Christopher, the speedster, being active somewhere in California. If we could locate him and the other team members to reunite them, we could sponsor them, raise their profile, and make them into another Seven Senses-type team. That's the kind of group that works best in this day and age, not a modern-day MBS."

"I'm sorry, love, but you're wrong," said Meta 7.

"And what makes you so sure?" said Damocles.

"I've already got more than sixty interested candidates, several of them A-listers."

Damocles was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, "Go on..."

Meta 7 strolled back to his desk and sat down in his leather chair, resting his feet on the desk's surface. "After the Antarctica case -- in fact, immediately after taking possession of the Watchtower -- I sent a question to all the users on the Meta Board's Internet site. You know, the networking site I set up, despite your protests, to allow metaheroes to keep in touch with each other? Well, it seems that the site has turned out to be as hot as any dating site for letting metas hook up with each other, for crimefighting and... other pursuits." He winked, and Damocles rolled his eyes beneath his mask. "Anyway, I simply asked people which seven heroes they would want to form a 'Meta Board League,' and the response was tremendous. The message had been a throwaway idea, a desperate reach, but it turned out to strike a chord with a lot of metaheroes out there.

"So I hired a research agency to find out answers to a few questions I had. It turns out that metas are now, more than ever, willing to meet and work together. And from the polling data and site stats, I've learned that there are larger numbers of metas working together as unofficial teams than ever before. I think the days of the lone hero are fading away, Dam. And if we don't jump on board at the outset, it's going to pass us by, and then we'll really be as redundant as we already feel."

Damocles had been pacing back and forth, facing the ground, while Meta 7 spoke. "So what do you suggest we do?"

"I'm going to hold a board meeting tomorrow," said Meta 7. "I've got the polling results here, and I expect every board member to review all the prospective candidates for the team. The following week, I want to invite all of those candidates to the Watchtower, where we'll hold trials for membership in the new team. That way, we can be sure to procure only the best of the best."

"And how will you invite them here?"

"Through the Meta Board site. I'll set up transporter tubes at key locations to allow easy access here for approved candidates."

Damocles held up his right index finger. "I still have one question, Tek."

"Mm?"

"What makes you sure that only metaheroes are using the site? What if metavillains happen to be logging on under false identities? Won't they know all about your plans?"

"Damocles, my good man," said Meta 7, "I'm counting on that."

Chapter 02: The Watchtower
by The Time Trust (based on posts by DC Message Board posters)


The Watchtower was a misnomer. It was not a tower. It was much, much bigger than a tower. A better word applied to it would be mountain, and a large mountain, at that. At nearly five miles in diameter, it was about the size of Mount Everest. Its shape was round, like a globe, and at this moment it was buried halfway underground, its top half popping out from a five-mile-wide crater on the Moon.

If it was large from the outside, the inside was massive. The scale was truly impossible to guess. Within it were chambers as tall and wide as skyscrapers, filled with numerous matter-transmuting engines. It was, in short, a small, hollow planet meant to house many generations of beings for long-term space travel. And that is what it had been, millennia ago, when it brought a race of reptilian extraterrestrials to this world.

Now, it was under the care of Meta 7, former metahero and current chairman of the U.N. Board of Metahumans, commonly called the Meta Board. He had named it the Watchtower for the fact that it overlooked the Earth, but it was more akin to a dome or even a bubble on the Moon. He was fond of the name, though, so he had an actual tower constructed atop the dome of the extraterrestrial ship, and the Watchtower was created. It was the perfect headquarters for a metahero team. All it lacked was the team. That was about to change.

Meta 7 had invited the members of the Meta Board to meet for the first time at the Watchtower to discuss his plans. Already a few had arrived, and others were just arriving.

"Walrus!" Meta 7 said, smiling as he slapped his old friend, Chewy Walrus, on the back. "Thank you for accepting the position on the Meta Board."

"Well, it's provisional," the Walrus replied. He was a serious-looking, slightly paunchy, brown-haired man wearing a blue costume with goggles that made him look like the scientist he had once been. "I haven't made up my mind to stay just yet. I'm... not really a bureaucrat."

"Oh, of course," replied Meta 7. "But I do appreciate your help. You'd be surprised, but there were hardly any takers when Dr. Quantum gave up his seat on the board earlier this year. Well, hardly anyone notable... yourself excepted, of course." He paused to smile. "So how is the EPS treating you these days?"

"Oh, same old, same old," said the metahero. He smiled and said thoughtfully, "I've been with the Elitum Protection Squadron for fifteen years, now, but... well, heck if I know why the Shark hasn't given me more leadership responsibilities. Gosh knows I've earned it."

"'Leadership responsibilities,' hmm?" Meta 7 pondered. "Keep that in mind, old friend. We may need someone with your experience in just such a position."

"Don't get me wrong, Kohoutek," the Walrus replied. "I'm not ready to pack it in just yet. The EPS has been good to me. Let's just say that I'm... open to possibilities."

"I fully understand," Meta 7 said, smiling knowingly. "And this must be... the Worm?"

A younger man, about twenty years old had come up to stand next to the Walrus. The Worm wore a dark green jumpsuit with a cowled mask covering his head and the upper half of his face. "They call me Gummy Worm, sir," he said, shaking Meta 7's hand.

"Oh?" said Meta 7, amused. "And why is that?"

Gummy Worm's arm went limp and drooped, falling to the ground like a piece of chewed gum that had been stretched too far. His hand, however, was still clutching Meta 7's. "Well, as you can see, I have the same powers as my partner," the Worm said, grinning.

"Excellent, excellent," Meta 7 said. "And how are you finding the EPS? Besides the colorful monickers, how are they treating you? Are they providing you enough challenges?"

The Worm glanced briefly at the Walrus and said, "I've been mostly happy with my work at the EPS since I joined a couple of years ago. We've really made a difference. But... I'm also open to possibilities."

"That's just what I like to hear," said Meta 7. He watched as Chewy Walrus and Gummy Worm took their seats, the Walrus at the board's panel as the official EPS liaison, and the Worm in the guest's section.

Meta 7's smile faded somewhat as he spotted two young metaheroes walk over to him. "Ah, and how are you lads?" he asked. "Is it too much to hope for a Seven Senses reunion?"

"I'm afraid not, sir," said Ace Martian, the English telepathic member of the team, a teenager with unkempt dirty blonde hair and glasses with round frames who wore a dark blue cloak over a blue-and-black costume. "Too much water under the bridge."

"Right," said Meta 7. He was smiling politely but could not easily hide his impatience with the young metaheroes. He completely ignored the smallest and youngest of the two, the thirteen-year-old Dusky Steve, only addressing Ace. "And will we be expecting Mr. Silver today?"

"Ah, about that..." said Ace sheepishly. "Doug... wasn't able to make it to the meeting today. He's asked me to fill in on his place at the board."

"He's really sorry about it," offered Dusky Steve, who wore a blue costume with white boots and gloves and a full-face mask open at the scalp to reveal a shock of brown hair. Meta 7 glanced at the boy briefly and looked away.

"No Knight De Facto, then," Meta 7 said, speaking of Doug Silver's professional name as leader of the Seven Senses. "Well, I'm sure it won't make a difference one way or another." He waved at someone in the distance and flashed that person a smile. "You can find your seats over there," he said offhandedly to the two teenaged metaheroes. He walked away from them and approached the man he had greeted. "Nightwatch! How are you, old boy?"

Ace glanced at Dusky. Neither of them were feeling very welcome at this party.

After several minutes, all twelve members of the Meta Board had assembled. Besides the chairman, Meta 7, the following metaheroes were present:

• Ace Martian, Seven Senses liaison (filling in for the absent Doug Silver);
• Chewy Walrus, Elitum Protection Squadron liaison;
• Crimson Battlestar, future metahero representative and liaison for the 31st century's Legion of Meta Protectors;
• Damocles, the Meta Board's vice-chairman;
• The Great Smidgen, Golden Age metahero representative;
• Her Majesty's Champion (HMC), representative of the Forgotten Metaheroes;
• Mycroft, non-meta detective hero representative;
• Nightwatch, European metahero representative;
• Primate, teenaged hero representative;
• The Scout Marksman, non-meta athletic hero representative;
• Superfast Man, Silver Age metahero representative;
• Sky Bull (officially "Sky Urus," but everyone called him Sky Bull), former member of the Metamen 5.

In the guest section of the hall were the following:

• Dusky Steve, former Seven Senses member and guest of Ace Martian;
• Gummy Worm, EPS agent and guest of Chewy Walrus;
• Johnny Morphus, former Metahero League of America member and guest of Meta 7;
• Matthias Apostle, former Metahero League of America member and guest of Damocles.

Meta 7 stood, addressing the U.N. Board of Metahumans. "Gentlemen, as per my instructions, you've all brought with you a list of nominees, worthy metaheroes who would make excellent members of a Meta Board League. I'd like each of you to tell me what you've prepared." He looked to the tall man next to him. "Vice-chairman?"

"Thank you, chairman," said Damocles, standing as Meta 7 took his seat. "Now, I must admit that, when our chairman told me his plans for creating a new metahero team to work under the aegis of the Meta Board, I had my doubts. Since then, I've allowed the idea to grow on me, and I've been carefully researching potential candidates. If you'll all turn to the screen..."

Damocles used a remote control to dim the lights as the screen lit up with a photograph of an intense-looking man in his early thirties, with swept-back, short dark hair and thick, horn-rimmed glasses worn ironically. He was dressed in jeans and an untucked, dark button-up shirt. Besides his intensity, he looked completely normal, except for the strange-looking keyboard strapped in front of him, upon which he was busily typing. A small holographic screen that he was intensely focused on was projected from the keyboard.

"This is the Write Guy," said Damocles. "He's not a widely known hero, but his abilities hold much potential. He can use a device he calls his Cosmic Keyboard, which he says gives him 'artistic license' over reality..." He paused as a few people chuckled mildly. "The device actually focuses his inborn meta-ability, allowing him to do things that even the most powerful of us cannot, such as bending reality to his will himself. The Write Guy can use his device to turn his own ideas into hard fact, within certain limitations. Simply put, if he writes it, it happens. With his device he can also travel into other dimensions, allowing him to access parallel worlds." He clicked for the next slide.

"Shaggy Faust," Damocles said, displaying a photograph of a tall, lanky man in his late twenties and appeared to be, for all intents and purposes, a rock star. He had an overall retro-mod look with a few current touches and, with his sunglasses and expensive fur-lined jacket, resembled Lenny Kravitz. "None of us are completely certain what his metapowers are, but doesn't he look cool?" A few more people laughed this time. "Seriously, have any of you had a conversation with this man? He provides among the most entertaining and intelligent dialogue in anyone I've ever met. In fact, that's the key to his success. Once you hear his voice, he can talk you into doing literally anything."

"Why don't you marry him?" someone shouted, and several people laughed.

"Who was that?" Damocles said, laughing. "Smidgen, was that you? You know I'm spoken for, old-timer." More laughter.

"Can we get on with it?" Meta 7 interrupted.

"Of course, of course," said Damocles, bringing up the next slide, a photograph of an alluring, dark-haired woman who wore a black and blue costume, the black parts appearing to be as dark as a shadow. "Obsidienne. She has the ability to restore confidence in our too-often all-male metahuman get-togethers by bringing a touch of feminine charm. Her actual metapower is her manipulation of of darkness, but I've heard rumors of other metapowers. I'm willing to allow her in, if she gives us some input on her other miraculous abilities." He clicked the next slide.

"Agent F7," Damocles said as he showed a photograph of a bare field, with a small shrubbery right in the middle of it, and nothing else. "As you can see, or perhaps as you cannot see, he -- or she, since we really cannot know for sure -- is very good at not being seen. He has built a reputation for himself in the intelligence community for being the ultimate information gathering superspy, who could constantly work behind the scenes to help the team without ever being recognized. Agent F7, an expert in disguise, has been known to show up under various assumed personas. You know, like, 'Was that really just a janitor... or was that Agent F7?'" More laughter. Damocles clicked to the next slide.

"The Cavalier Genius," said Damocles, as a photograph appeared of a smiling, confident-looking Latino man with a dark goatee, who wore a black-and-gold swashbuckling outfit with a knight-and-horse insignia and a wide-brimmed hat and carried a sword. "He would be the brains of the outfit, simply because of his extensive knowledge of history and numerous other subjects." He clicked to the next slide.

"Sigma," he said as a photograph appeared of a young brown-haired man wearing a form-fitting, all-white costume with a black logo in the shape of the sigma (Σ), the eighteenth letter in the Greek alphabet, "the heart and soul of any team, he can choose from amongst any one of eighteen powers that he wishes, except he can only use each one at a time."

"And then there would be..." Damocles clicked to the next slide, which turned out to be a photograph of himself in his blue mask and navy blue and maroon bodysuit. The board members laughed. "...me. As most of you know, I am able to change my shape to a limited degree. I have a wide variety of weapons influenced by the finest weapons makers in the business, including a metal quarterstaff that fires energy beams from either end, a handy device, let me tell you.

"As well, I'm able to use my control over my physical form to heal most wounds, and my physical abilities are roughly four or five times better than that of the average Olympic athlete. I'm a pretty impressive unarmed combatant, if I do say so myself, and I have a specially built helicopter. My mask has sensor equipment built into it. Finally, a heart of gold beats beneath my brooding, tough guy exterior." At that, several board members laughed raucously and began clapping.

After the laughter died down, Meta 7 stood and said, "Quite a performance, Dam. I'm glad to see you've taken this so seriously."

"Thank you," said Damocles. "I try."

Meta 7 shook his head, trying to keep from smiling. "Now, perhaps we could get back to the business of selecting our team. Johnny Morphus? I believe you were telling me earlier that you had an intriguing proposal for the team."

"Thanks, Kohoutek," said Johnny Morphus, standing to address the board from the guests' section. Johnny had short-cropped auburn hair and wore a bronze-colored, multi-patterned costume with a long green cape and green gloves. "And thanks to all of you for allowing me to visit today. My idea is to create not merely another Metahero League of America, like the one a few of us were members of a decade ago, but instead a new twist on that old idea."

The lights dimmed once more, as Johnny waved his hands, using his power to cause shimmering, three-dimensional images to form in the chamber.

"Welcome to the MLI, or Metahero League International..." he said as the images coalesced into dreamlike versions of a few familiar-looking heroes, including some who were present at the meeting. One image stood and began to run very quickly, racing circles around the others. This was a speedster dressed head-to-toe in a form-fitting red uniform with blue and gold fringes and wearing a yellow visor.

"Superfast Man," said Johnny, "or, as some of us call him behind his back, Superfast Know-it-all Man."

"Hey!" half-heartedly protested Superfast Man, who couldn't help but laugh with the others.

"Sorry, Superfast," said Johnny. "Because of his experience, he'd make the perfect team leader. Hey, he's superfast and he knows it all, baby..."

The image of Superfast dissipated now, replaced by the image of the "rock star" metahero seen earlier. "Shaggy Faust," said Johnny. "Our vice-chairman was a bit skimpy on the details of his metapowers earlier, but I happen to know that he bartered his soul for ultimate knowledge of pop culture and cool lingo."

The image disappeared, replaced by one resembling none other than the chairman himself, looking powerful in his dark gray business suit. "Meta 7," said Johnny, "thought to be mad by the world at large, the trees tell him a different story."

"Very funny, Johnny," said Meta 7.

Another image appeared, this time of a tough-looking figure wearing a red cloak with a peaked red hood and carrying a large firearm, with two scantily clad women hanging onto his legs in a classic sword-and-sorcery pose. "Cardinal Sect," said Johnny, "who offends evil into submission with sarcasm and a big fucking gun. The power to summon lesbian fairy-like creatures as backup doesn't suck, either." Several people laughed.

The image changed to the same man typing madly on a keyboard as seen earlier. "Write Guy," said Johnny, "he writes... and it is." He waved his hand again, erasing the image and slowly forming a new one.

"And of course, Chewy Walrus and his faithful sidekick, Gummy Worm," said Johnny, as the images of the two EPS agents in their blue and green costumes formed in mid-air, stretching their arms and legs to incredible lengths.

"Wha...?" gasped the Walrus.

"'Faithful sidekick'?!" said the Worm.

"The bendable, edible defenders of right are back... to have crime... take a bite out of them," concluded Johnny, winking.

"I do believe we've been insulted, Gummy," said Chewy Walrus amidst the laughter.

"Very theatrical, Johnny," said Meta 7. "I see some of you have had a bit of fun with your assignment."

"And don't forget that Cardinal Sect is really the second coming of our original team's member, Mr. Sect," said Superfast Man.

"He died and came back... how novel," said Gummy Worm, rolling his eyes, as he spoke to the others in the guest section. "Why haven't any other metaheroes ever used this idea?" He then said, loud enough for the board to hear, "Oh, yeah, and Superfast? I know you know it all, and all, but wasn't the Golden Age Mr. Sect a part of the Mysterymen Board Society, and then was reborn in the present day as Cardinal Sect? I think I read the files on that somewhere..."

"Actually, now that you mention it, Gummy," said Superfast Man, "I seem to remember, during a crisis back in the eighties, most of us returned unscathed, yet there was no Mr. Sect. Then came this Cardinal Sect fellow. A replacement? Or is he the immortal one who saved our world from the evil and wicked antimatter world? Hmm... This is something we should check out."

Chewy Walrus glanced at Gummy and said to Superfast Man, "Well, actually, I believe if you looked into it further, it's more or less obvious that the mysterious figure in question is actually Mr. Sect's son from the former alternate Earth-Z, snatched to safety in the nick of time by the Antimoderator for his own nefarious schemes. Wasn't that a crisis, though? Woo, my mouth was dry for weeks!"

Meta 7 threw his hands in the air in disgust, saying, "There goes another meeting."

"Okay, okay, here's my Meta Board League," said Nightwatch, grinning as he stood. The English metahero was dressed in a black costume with a red line running diagonally across the chest like a sash, a fringe of white along the collar, and golden lines running down his arms and legs. "Mycroft: the ability to obsess about totally inane details at a crime scene." He paused for laughter. "Harlequin: the power to distract Mycroft from his sleuthing by being totally hilarious and throwing in pop culture references at a whim." More laughter. "Throne: the ability to piss off Chief G by mentioning his ex-girlfriend, Harlequin." Still more laughter. "Chief G: the ability to have a discussion about anything without bringing up Harlequin." A few chuckles. "Meta 7: the ability to come up with whacked-out ideas."

"Nightwatch: the ability to have a cable guide for the next hundred years implanted in his mind," quipped Mycroft, who wore a Sherlock Holmes-inspired costume, complete with a deerstalker cap and pipe. "I know how much you like to watch."

"Har-de-har-har," said Nightwatch flatly as the others laughed.

"All right, all right," said Meta 7 as the laughter began dying down. "Can we please get back to the purpose of our meeting? Does anyone else have a lineup? Preferably one worth mentioning?"

The room was quiet for several long moments.

Finally, everyone turned as the thirteen-year-old Dusky Steve stood and said, "I have a list of heroes."

Meta 7 stared at him and smiled nervously. "Go on, by all means."

Dusky Steve said, "The Meta League of America would consist of the Antimod, with the omnipotent power to change time. Superfast Man -- he's superfast, and he knows it all. Myself, with the catch phrase, 'My real name isn't even Steve!' Chewy Walrus and Gummy Worm, the League's stretchy dudes. Agent F7, the mysterious one. And the Write Guy -- he writes!"

The board was quiet, and then a few people clapped at his lineup suggestion as Dusky sat down. Ace Martian flashed Dusky an approving smile.

"You did good, kid," rasped the Great Smidgen, a short, bald, mustachioed, old metahero in a red and blue circus muscleman costume whose heyday was in the 1940s.

"'And a child shall lead them'," whispered Damocles to Meta 7.

Nightwatch stood up again and said, "Thank you, Dusky Steve, for getting us back on track. I actually did bring a serious suggestion, but Steve brought up an interesting angle, whether intentionally or not, when he called the new team the 'Meta League of America'... As you know, I'm English, and the majority of my cases take place in the U.K. or mainland Europe. I've worked in several European countries, in fact, several times alongside metaheroes in those nations. So... while I've brought my own list of nominees for a Meta Board League, I'd like you to consider my idea.

"Okay, so you have your 'Meta League of America.' Now it's time for the Meta League of Europe, consisting of..." He used a remote control to launch a holographic projection in the center area in front of the board, and a figure identical to himself appeared. "...myself, Nightwatch, able to see beyond human vision and instantaneously travel to virtually anywhere in the world."

He clicked to the next hologram, a figure wearing nondescript dark clothing with his hands over his face, as if adjusting a mask. "Agent F7, master of disguise, spy extraordinaire and walking encylopedia, who I must point out is also English, not American, so he wouldn't be in the MLA." The next hologram depicted a raven-haired woman wearing a long, purple robe, with sparkling energy seeming to radiate from her jewelry-covered hands. "Kazmantra, the mystic of the group." Another hologram depicted a man dressed in formal attire, wearing a black and gray suit with a top hat and white gloves and holding a silver cane for show. "The Silver Troubleshooter, the perfect gentleman of the group." The next hologram showed a man wearing a brown costume with a masked and hooded cape. "Hammerman, whose superstrength and superspeed last for all of 14 minutes. All these are Brits."

Another hologram depicted a man completely engulfed in yellow-red flame. "Hellstone of Sweden, who makes the biggest flame-bursts." The next hologram showed a huge, powerfully built, lizardlike green man wearing no costume at all. "Espen Saltfjord of Norway, who claims to be a relative of the Loch Ness monster." The final hologram showed a confident-looking young man in a tight red T-shirt and black jeans with wild, long black hair shooting from his scalp at all angles. "And Mega-Tsar of Spain, the foe of monsters everywhere -- except our Espen Saltfjord, of course -- who can make someone relive the same moment twice to catch them off-guard, a terrific deja vu ability. In fact, I've theorized that each deja vu moment creates a new independent timeline of reality, and should be interpreted with an indefinable sub-text, henceforth I'd coin his power as terrifi-deja-nu."

Nightwatch turned off the hologram projector. "Now, don't misunderstand me -- I haven't actually created the Meta League of Europe yet, but I plan on contacting each of the prospective members and asking them to join this team. Perhaps one team we create could protect America and the other Europe. The MLA and the MLE should be under the umbrella of the Meta Board League, the international advisory group overseeing both teams."

"If we go with this very good idea," said the Great Smidgen in his rasping, hoarse voice, "then there should also be a sub-team for the young metas of the world, a kind of training team. This could be made up of the most important junior members of the MBL, but the lineup would constantly change as people graduate into full-fledged status. As one of the youngest metaheroes during the Golden Age, I can understand what it's like to start out as a hero among the greats, so I'd be willing to volunteer to help train these young fellas."

"Sounds a lot like the Seven Senses," Ace Martian muttered to Dusky Steve, who snickered.

"Did you have something to add, Mr. Martian?" said Meta 7 coldly.

"Uh..."

"Go on, youngster," croaked the Great Smidgen eagerly. "What's your lineup for the league?"

"My Meta Board League?" said Ace, looking down as if pondering whether he dared to say what was on his mind. After a moment's thought he said, "Well, if I'd had a choice, I would pick only the most powerful metaheroes and metaheroines in the world... only the big shots. It would include Knight De Facto, Generator, Brain Tech, Dusky Steve, Caped Cadet, Hooligan and... Ace Martian, naturally. Seven members, all having the same powers -- the ability to recreate reality." As if realizing he had brought the mood down, he smiled and added, "Naturally, the Antimod would be invited to fill in as the rotating member, since he could destroy the entire universe with a mere twist of his pinkie." Ace sat down as a few people smiled and chuckled at his ill-placed attempt at humor.

"That was beautiful, man," said Dusky Steve. "I miss the Seven Senses, too."

"And I'll reluctantly join as the eighth member when I save the team during an adventure with my diamond-tipped arrow," quipped the Scout Marksman, a red-haired, bearded man wearing a tan-colored suede archer's outfit, as he flippantly posed with his arrow. After a moment's laughter, he said, "Sorry, guys. I couldn't resist."

"Asshole," muttered Ace quietly.

"Are there any other serious nominees for the team?" said Meta 7.

At that, Matthias Apostle, a blonde young man wearing a white choir robe, stood and said, "Okay, here goes. My candidates for the seven are Obsidienne, the Write Guy, Superfast Man, Meta 7, Nightwatch, Dragnet Zero and myself -- I can do that, can't I?"

"Sure, why not?" said Meta 7. "Everyone else seems to be doing it. And thank you for including at least one new candidate in your list, Matt. Dragnet Zero would be a good choice. Now, if there aren't any other nominees..."

"Prometheus X deserves a spot," offered Gummy Worm. A few chuckled nervously at the suggestion, thinking it a joke.

Nightwatch had been squinting as he stared into the shadows in the corner of the room. His eyes, able to see beyond the range of human vision, first perceived that one of those shadows slowly seemed to take form and move into view. "The X," he whispered under his breath.

"Gummy Worm..."

The mysterious being known only as Prometheus X stood among the metaheroes now, most of whom gasped, startled at how they had not noticed him there before.

"...you honor me with your mention for membership. Yet, I must decline." The others were too awestruck to say anything as the X continued. "I am but a... stranger... who goes where he is needed. Right now, I must depart through the ephemeral mists that separate the universes. I must reclaim your soul from the evil that is your image." And with this puzzling message left hanging in the air, he was gone, this stranger, like a phantom.

No one spoke for several moments. Although all had heard rumors of Prometheus X, only a few people in the room had ever seen him in person before. Finally, Meta 7 broke the silence and said, "And that, gentlemen, was the X. Impressive, I know, but if we could continue...? I'd like to end our meeting for now and arrange a time next week when we can bring all our nominees, and a few others, to the Watchtower for trials. This meeting is hereby adjourned."