RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Fortress of Awesome Chat wedding stuff is fucking expensive

we've talked about going to vegas, actually. just super close family, like 10 people. but then that's asking everyone else to chip in like 2k a piece for their flights/hotel (or do we pay that??) and then its just as expensive/annoying as the other way.



the churchy part is like 40 minutes. the reception/eating/boozing is about 5 hours.



yeah, thats the only defining factor.

and, lex is actually pretty cool about everything. its not even like she's demanding gold and platinum - she just wants the traditional stuff, like the dress and ceremony. and, unfortunately cuz everything is filled with suckery, the standard prices are garbage.



agreed.

Back in 2003, my gal and I planned on getting married. We were lucky to get a good deal on the church (only about $750), and had friends who worked in jobs related to flowers and invitations and whatnot, so we got great deals there. But the reception was going to cost us about $20K. We were in a nasty position thanks to my job and a potential work stoppage - either the union would strike and I'd be making cash hand over fist and be able to afford the reception (but wouldn't be around for the planning and stress), or they wouldn't and I'd be there for all the planning and whatnot, but wouldn't be able to afford the reception. My gal and I said, "Fuck it" and postponed the wedding. We realized not long after the postponement that neither of us really wanted a big wedding or reception and breathed a sigh of relief that we didn't spend the money that we didn't really have.

Later this year, we're getting married. Only this time we're just getting a marriage license and having a JP do the "ceremony." We'll end up saving between $25K and $35K. Frankly, Rob, unless your future husband is paying part of the costs, and REALLY needs a big wedding, you may want to consider going smaller or following my lead. Is it really worth it to sink big bucks into something that's more about the guests than about you two? Have a quick, small ceremony and then have your closest friends/family out for a nice meal.

I don't see why you should get a professional photographer. Everyone has a good to great camera now. It isn't as easy as it looks but I'm sure there are "weddings for dummies or photography for dummies" books that you can get.

Both of my sisters were able to get discounts and deals through friends. They both knew cooks and people willing to help out with decorations and stuff like that. I think having friends that cook the dinner in best way to make the wedding less expensive. How many people remember the food anyhow? At the weddings I've gone to I've been more into seeing relatives and people I haven't seen in years.

The guests should pay their for their travel and hotels if needed. If they can't pay it they shouldn't be able to go. Even I was able to go half way across the country for my little sisters wedding. I was stuck next to an infant in an un-air conditioned car in July but I made it.

That could easily go wrong. Horribly wrong.

I've seen couples try to cut back on expenses by having the groom's asshole cousin take the pictures with his digital camera and they always end up regretting it. There's little sense in paying for all that fancy looking shit if you have nothing to show for it afterwards. A wedding is only as good as you remember it, I think. Really, big weddings are only a necessary step towards the creation of a wedding album.

That is pretty much the same plan that the girl and I have. Of course, she has reserved the right to a traditional ceremony down the road (you know, the proper church wedding/renewal of vows thing) when times aren't as lean.

As for the post JP visit; the plan is to do a nice meal with the family, cause a drunken ruckus with the friends, and then spend a nice honeymoon in the drunk tank.

We have no pictures of my older sisters wedding due to her pothead friend not knowing how to work a camera. That's why I said read up on photography or even take some practice pictures before the actual wedding. Its not simple but its not hard to learn how to do it right.

Exactly. I'd go the ultra cheap route and blow the big money on a nice honeymoon/vacation.

All you look back on if you marriage is good is the vow part of the ceremony, no one looks back fondly on the 4 or 5 hr reception grind.

im actually gonna role with rex on this one...

rex and k-nut are getting married!

Careful, K-Nut. I hear socks can hold a serious grudge over things like this.

ours is a forbidden love...

rex is using you for your argyle's!

wait. what?

i'm sorry, you would have found out sooner or later.

Bobostein, does your parents or anyone in your family own a nice plot of land with some trees, pond, or some shit on it? That'll save you money on the church and the hall afterwards. My cousin's ceremony (just for the family and friends as they'd already done the JP thing months before) was at my aunt and uncle's rural home on a nice sized plot of land and a fully stocked bar. It was a hell of a party with the whole thing costing less than two grand after food, band, liquor, photographer, and preacher.

i'd be all for that. hell, i dont give a fuck about any of this. i'd bbq food at my parent's house, maybe order some pizzas. it is all silliness.

however, at this point, i have come to terms of giving alexis the day, and that's just not what she wants. i dislike the decision, but i can totally understand. and like i said, she's not being all bitchy or selfish or anything about it, either. i guess its just one of those brainwashing things of every girl wanting the pretty pretty princess ...thing.

what sucks most, i think, is that there's almost no middle ground. there's no ... say, $12,000 wedding. we can go the local / party route for the $3k range, or the traditional wedding route for the $25k range (and up). lame.




i can kinda agree, but there's a whole big world of a difference between those professional images and the ones reg'lar folk'd take. should it be a $4,000 difference? fuck no, but that's one of the only priorities we'd (she'd) have on the day, i think.



...pjp? whatcha doin next summer?



i think i've been to maybe 12-15 weddings in my life, between family and friends. and, really, they've all been exactly the same, and whose memories are easily confused. even the ones i was in as some sorta groomsfolk.

rob if you want to save on music, i know two guys down in the hollow who will play there bajos for trade.

http://www.idostream.com
Honestly the best wedding i went to was a short ceremony and a reception at Dave and Buster and then an after party at the couple's favorite bar.


I helped a friend with his wedding this year and got ordained through ulc.net.

Get a professional photographer for the official photos. Definite. But one thing my sisters did that really turned out great was to put disposable cameras on every table at the reception and ask people to take candids as they chat/eat/dance. You get some great photos that way.

Have you tried setting things up for a "business engagement?" I swear to god, the second you say "wedding" the price triplicates.

very much so.

coincidentally, disposable cameras are one of the key proponents of that ridiculosity. typically, they're like $10. if you get one "designed for weddings" (meaning it has a picture of a bride or a white flower or something on it), the price is around $18.

i have made a formal declaration of shenanigans.

The wedding itself is more for the bride, give her what she wants.

The reception/party is for the guests...or just you...depends on how greedy you are. My best friend saved a lot by having the ceremony outside and not having an open bar (except for beer). But then another friend saved money by marrying rich so he could have three bachelor parties. In my opinion, doing the whole judge thing takes everything that could be special away from the wedding. Really, you do have to know people. Where's it going to be? Your hometown? Her hometown?

I agree with Uschi, but having those could lead to a lot of drunken pictures of the hot bridesmaid's asses.

You're so predictable.

i havent read this whole thing so i dunno if this has been said or not but here you go anyway lol

heres the thing about the photographer. spend the money to get one and have them put all the photos on a CD get a few made up from them. the photo albums they offer are a load of crap you can do it better than they could.

the best thing would if you have a friend who is going to school for it have them do it for a small fee that way you get all the pics. just make sure you give them a list of the important photo moments you want and take the time after the ceremony to actually stop double check with them (even the professional) to make sure you get all the ones you want. i made that mistake and now im missing some key moments that i would love to have had. plus the quality was very bad on some of them as well. but thats what i payed for lol.

anyway lol its also a good idea to place disposables cameras on the tables. lots of great pics there.

also if you want use some money to have some one video tape it or again set up some of your most trusted friends/family with cameras. to cut cost plus you are in control of the editing. which was a great plus in my opinion.

but all in all if i could have done a few things differently i would have i would have hired a professional for the video taping and the photos AND have the families/friends do it as well. so you get the best of both worlds. its one of most important parts that you dont want to cheap out on.

oh and dont buy the wedding designed disposable cameras they are a waste of money buy the normals ones from like sams club and then you can always make labels and print them out from your computer. like with your names a date or something. or nothing its really not necessary. again its all up to you and the look your going for.

best money saving device: your computer!!

Exactly. Buy a "pretty dress" that happens to be all (or mostly) white in the summer after school Prom, spend anywhere from $25-150. Buy a WEDDING dress? Anywhere from a piece of shit $800 to 2k. More options? Yes. Tiara optional? Yes. Worth debt? No.

I may be agnostic, but I come from a thick line of Jews; SAVE THE MONEY. Starting a marriage on a pile of debt is a mistake. This is ONE DAY. What if you spend all this money and have all these wonderful photos and then god forbit a fire hits your home. You two live, but Llance and the photo album are gone. And you still have to pay it off.

It is illogical, captain. Have your woman log on here, lemme talk to her a bit. PM is fine. But honestly, I hardly know a soul that doesn't look back at their wedding and think they would be just as happy without the debt and the bollocks. A killer honeymoon is different, though.

It reminds me of the year Mom had us do a Christmas without presents. She wanted to focus on the religious aspects. Honestly, it was the best X-Mas I ever had. Now, I'm not religious, never have been, but the family aspect, the intangables are the important part. That's how it is with a wedding. You could spend half a million dollars, but if the vows are a sham it is worthless. On the flip-side, if the vows are solid, you could be wed on a pig farm and it'd be beautiful.

Think about what *really* matters. ...if I can be all... GAY for a moment.

That's nice but I doubt Rob is planning on marrying his fiance's best friend..

ooh, a 2-for-1 deal

agreed uschi!!!

but does Scottie cook?

and by cook i mean swallow.

i don't think alexis has signed on here for a few years, but i don't remember. im not sure what kinda bargaining room there'd be to discuss it, anyway. she's set on the type of party she has in her mind, and i don't blame or fault her for it. its just that the situation is poo.

there's lotsa ways we're exploring to cut it all in half, though. like, priorities-wise, we don't give a fuck about the invitations. so, while that'd normally be a $1k expense, it will now be close to free. if i dont print them myself, i'll do a fucking evite or just call everyone. whatever.

we'll get some very professional photography for very discounted rates through katfox's hookup. i'm very much leaning towards an ipod to replace a DJ, but that's an open negotiation. i'm trying to get a limo hook up somewhere, lex might know someone, but i'll havta look around for that. we'll either do no flowers or just get our own and arrange them ourselves (that is, my mommy will) so thats like $100 instead of $1200.

does he!

Do not do this. Its a horrible idea. My little sisters wedding had an ipod doing all the music and it was the worst part of the day. Ipods are not made to play music through speakers for large rooms to hear. the sound quality is just plain awful. Without someone directly controlling the music everything seems to drag on too long. Pay for a DJ or have a friend do it.

my brother in law is a dj. I could give you his number.

Isnt that a sexually transmitted disease?

yes he is.

How much would I pay for your brother to transmit his disease straight into my ass?

He'd do that for free.