RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Fortress of Awesome Chat G-man asked his wife

Have You Ever Cheated on Me?

G-man and his wife were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. After 50 years, G-man wanted to know if G-man's wife was always faithful. G-man asked, "Have you ever cheated on me?"

G-man's wife replied, "Yes, three times."

"What?!", yelled G-man, "When?"

G-man's wife said, "Remember when the septic tank flooded back in '69 and we couldn't afford to fix it? I convinced the plumber to fix it for free."

"And?"G-man's wife said, "Remember when you needed heart surgery in '75 and we didn't have insurance? I had the doctor treat you for free."

"And the third time?"

"Do you remember when you ran for mayor back in '89 and you were behind by 200 votes..."

For once, I agree with Mopius.

Boring, Lothar.

Iggy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver sits down next to him, grabs his drink, an gulps it down in one swig. Iggy starts crying.

"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck driver. "I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," says Iggybetween sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me.

When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after it left, I discovered I'd left my wallet on the back seat. At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener.

So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my miserable life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison!

Everyday, Lothar walks into a bar. A gay bar. Because he is gay.

It's funny because it's true.

Walking into the bar, Iggy said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Iggy replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.

"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."