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Me three! ... Or is that four?


Eddie Guerrero said
"I've been here before. Backed into a corner, another huge obstacle, time to make a choice. You seem to be a bit preoccupied, Brock. You're not gonna be facing Eddie Guerrero the opponent tonight. You're gonna be facing Latino Heat!! They say there's No Way Out. I can think of at least one, ese (sp?). Can you?"
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(soon as I figure out what to grieve about)

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Okay, I have a grievance:

I am sick of all you people that don't use your turn signals at all or AFTER the unsignaled turn is made! They were built there for a reason! Where'd you get your license from? A cereal box?

Next!

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I've got a doozie and it helps that I spent hours living this today...

I don't get why they don't turn the heat on in the auditorium at church when they know people will be in there doing something like rehurse (worshp team), light and set change, etc. It was litterally so cold that I didn't even take my coat and scarf off. I was already wearing jeans, a tshirt and denim shirt under that, which normally when I do set changes I can't have long sleeves on because it gets so hot on stage with the lights on. But I turned just about all the lights, at one point, and you could barely feel the heat from them.

When I left, my hands were so cold they were nearly frozen, and as if that wasn't bad enough, they literally looked dryer than they were prior to that. Not too long before we broke for lunch at 2, I took the coat and scarf off because they were getting in my way but put my gloves on.

man was it cold in there. They FINALLY put the gas heat on some time after 3, supposidly the electric heat was on, but it was only 58 degrees in there. I pointed out to those that didn't realize this, that with the outside doors being like they are, double doors, no dividers or weather stripping in the center (at least it feels like there isn't any) all the cold air comes in through there, causing ti to be way colder in there. I found that out the hard way a few weeks ago when I could still get by with my jean jacket and a long sleeve shirt under it, when I sat in front of one of them, directly in front of the center of it, and a few feet away from it. I had my jacket on the entire time and was still cold.


It's a rented tux ok? I'm not going comando in another man's fatigues.
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An excellent offbeat non-comics Christmas tale: Harlan Ellison's short story "Santa Claus -vs- S.P.I.D.E.R.", originally published in 1969.

Santa Claus is a secret agent, and being Santa Claus is the best cover he ever had. He fights an evil shadow organization that is possessing the minds of world leaders, and the story is also rife with biting humor and political commentary. It's one of Ellison's best. Anyone who enjoys Ian Fleming will immediately recognize deliberate and amusing similarities.

It can currently be found in bookstores in Harlan Ellison's omnibus collection EDGEWORKS: VOLUME 4.

"Santa Claus -vs- S.P.I.D.E.R." also appeared in the December 1979 issue of HEAVY METAL.




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I was also quite amused by this bad-attitude Santa image from the December 1977 cover of HEAVY METAL:


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How could I have forgotten the Battle Pope Christmas Special?!? Jesus gets in a fight with a destitute Santa, and BP has sex with Jesus's mom!


Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!

All hail King Snarf!

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 Quote:
King Snarf said:
How could I have forgotten the Battle Pope Christmas Special?!? Jesus gets in a fight with a destitute Santa, and BP has sex with Jesus's mom!


Uh...

I'm sorry, but that's a level of blasphemy that I find really uncomfortable.

It's like if Garth Ennis or Grant Morrison or someone did a Christmas story where a bunch of thugs gang-raped Mrs. Claus. Only the image is a lot more offensive in the above special, because the story is talking about the mother of a Messiah who is sacred to somewhere upwards of a billion people.
Maybe it's a lot more playful and suggestive and less vulgar than it sounds, but... wow.
Playful irreverence is one thing. But that is hardcore blasphemy.

I think one you'd enjoy that's hardcore but a bit less over-the-top is LOBO'S PARAMILITARY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL.





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In a more traditional view of Santa, artist Norman Rockwell did a number of beautifully atmospheric covers featuring Santa. I counted ten Saturday Evening Post covers of Santa by Rockwell, during the 40 years or so he did covers for the magazine.
Here are a few I could find online:




Santa's Helpers
Saturday Evening Post, December 2, 1922

larger image HERE


Santa at his globe
Saturday Evening Post, December 4, 1926

larger image HERE


Dear Santa
Saturday Evening Post, December 21, 1935

larger image HERE


Santa At the Map,
Saturday Evening Post, December 16, 1939 issue.

http://shop.com.edgesuite.net/


The Truth About Santa
Saturday Evening Post, December 29, 1956 issue.

larger image HERE




And here's a link to images by 19th century illustrator Thomas Nast, and text about Nast, describing his role in shaping the modern visual concept of Santa Claus:

http://www.sonofthesouth.net/Original_Santa_Claus.htm



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Believe it or not, Norman Rockwell didn't have that happy life he always depicted. The pastor talked about ihm during his message a few weeks ago.


It's a rented tux ok? I'm not going comando in another man's fatigues.
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( My favorite of the Rockwell Santa images I posted above: )



 Quote:
Batwomanamy said:
Believe it or not, Norman Rockwell didn't have that happy life he always depicted.



Yes, that's true, Amy. Rockwell lived in a really rough neighborhood, had a less than ideal family life, and as you say, had a pretty ugly childhood. Rockwell tried in his art to invoke an idyllic America, as he had wanted his growing up years to have been, rather than as they truly were.

I once had a French girlfriend I showed Rockwell's work to, and I commented that I loved Rockwell's work because it captures the warmth in American people, the best in American people.
She remarked that the people in the pictures looked French to her, that they could just as easily be French, and that she felt they captured the kindness, the best, in all people.

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A while back, I was Christmas shopping in the mall with my girlfriend, and one store had new copies of the Dr Seuss book The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. I was surprised, the original copyright is 1957.

The animated 30-minute cartoon was made in 1966.

Chuck Jones, who directed the animated cartoon special (as well as many of the wonderful Warner Brothers cartoons) died in February 2002.

The narration voice in the Grinch animated special is Boris Karloff.

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I saw on a special a few years back that the guy who does the voice of Tony the Tiger also sings the Grinch song.

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Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy said:
Quote:

King Snarf said:
How could I have forgotten the Battle Pope Christmas Special?!? Jesus gets in a fight with a destitute Santa, and BP has sex with Jesus's mom!




Uh...

I'm sorry, but that's a level of blasphemy that I find really uncomfortable.

It's like if Garth Ennis or Grant Morrison or someone did a Christmas story where a bunch of guys gang-raped Mrs. Claus. Only the image is a lot more offensive in the above special, because the story is talking about the mother of a Messiah who is sacred to somewhere upwards of a billion people.
Maybe it's a lot more playful and suggestive and less vulgar than it sounds, but... wow.
Playful irreverence is one thing. But that is hardcore blasphemy.






Well, you clearly haven't read it. Do so. NOW.


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i always liked when black lightining would say "sweet christmas"...

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Quote:

britneyspearsatemyshorts said:
i always liked when black lightining would say "sweet christmas"...




I thought that was Luke Cage, from POWER MAN/IRON FIST.

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Sweet Christmas!


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Another excellent find is the COMICO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL (1988), with five well-scripted and very original stories by:
Doug Wheeler, with art by Ken Holewczynski,
Bernie Mireault,
Tim Sale,
Bill Willingham/Chris Warner,
and
Steve Rude/Al Williamson,
with a cover by Dave Stevens.




And very nicely printed and colored.
Many of these artists I haven't seen before.

Almost all are stories of Christmas in the far future, with people discovering the true meaning of Christmas. The first story in particular is a remarkably traditional Christmas story, considering it's set two hundred years in the future.

This is the best Christmas comics stories collection I've read since BIZARRE ADVENTURES 34.



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ANT-MAN'S BIG CHRISTMAS special is another one I'd highly recommend, by Bob Gale and Phil Winslade, originally published in 1999.

It's a loosely traditional Christmas story with a lot of humor, depicting a mix of pleasant holiday festivities with the family, and also of tolerating annoying inconsiderate people, and what you'd really like to say, if you weren't trying so hard to be polite. And superhero mischief in the form of pranks.

Aside from JLA #60, it's the best Christmas comics story of the recent past.


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I also thought I'd mention SPECTRE #12, from 2001, by J.M DeMatteis and Ryan Sook. What can loosely be described as a surreal Dickens-style Christmas story. Complete with an appearance by Charles Dickens himself.






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I also picked up THE TICK:RED AND GREEN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL. There are ads in the back for just about every TICK comic ever published. There are about 5 or 6 other TICK CHRISTMAS SPECIAL issues I haven't seen.






Larger images of these covers, in order:
http://www.milehighcomics.com/fullsize.1.GIF
http://www.milehighcomics.com/fullsize.2.GIF
http://www.milehighcomics.com/fullsize.2000.GIF
http://www.milehighcomics.com/fullsize.2000.VARIANT.GIF
2001 issue


The 2001 live-action TICK tv series on Fox was very good, by the way, and has been out about 6 months on DVD (the 8 televised episodes, and one never broadcast, a total of 9 episodes). Although none of the tv episodes are Christmas ones.



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DETECTIVES INC, by Don McGregor and Marshall Rogers, has a pleasant concluding scene, where they're watching ice skaters in Rockefeller Plaza in a late December winter setting.

In the DETECTIVES INC graphic novel (Eclipse, 1980), or in color in the 1984 two-issue comic book reprint.





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I just re-read PETER PARKER SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN 112 (March 1986), written by Peter David, with art by Mark Beachum and Pat Redding.
Which looks like a cynical megamacho romp from the cover, but is actually a very fun and charming story, where Peter Parker thinks he's going to wind up alone on Christmas, and it's only because he keeps walking away from people who want to invite him to their Christmas celebrations, before they have the opportunity to invite him.





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Another I recently found is BRAVE & THE BOLD 184 (March 1982) teaming Batman and the Huntress, in a story by Mike Barr and Jim Aparo.
The two heroes discover an apparent connection between Thomas Wayne (Batman's father) and a local mobster.

I'm always amused by these "Batman No More!" -type stories, where the hero apparently gives up their masked identity forever, and generally only sticks to that vow for a few panels, and not even a whole issue.
I especially enjoyed the opening Christmas scene in this issue.





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And two surprising last-minute additions to the Christmas story list from Marvel, just out this week:





X-MEN 165, Feb 2005, by Chris Claremont and Sal Larocca, a great offering, filled with scenes of warmth, humor, and holiday magic as only a Claremont-scripted family of mutants could provide.



larger cover, + interior pages

PUNISHER RED X-MAS special, by Justin Gray, Mark Texiera and Jimmy Palmiotti. Which is good in its way, if you like your Santa Claus involved in a mob war with big guns and lots of testosterone.
It's somewhat of a comedy relief when Punisher, with characteristically grim/dark Punisher-brand humor, manages to extort some holiday charity out of those brutally maintaining a hold on their mob profits.



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Quote:


Track Santa's Christmas Eve ride across the world right from your own computer. NORAD tracks St. Nick as he delivers joy across the globe -- and you can, too! Come back Dec. 24 to watch his travels, live.





visit the official NORAD Tracks Santa website


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Another exceptional collection is WITHIN OUR REACH, a nicely formatted squarebound anthology of Christmas stories, co-published by Star Reach and Marvel in 1991.

Stories include:
  • An O.Henry adaptation by Craig Russell
    A Concrete story by Paul Chadwick.
    A Spiderman story, with Roy & Dann Thomas script/Jeff Butler art.
    A Victorian-Era "Sherlock Holmes Christmas", story by Martin Powell/Patrick Olliffe.
    And a somewhat psychadelic Santa Claus story by Norm Breyfogle.

    Plus other stories by:

    Tim Sale
    Eric Shanower
    Rafael Kayanan


All nicely packaged and colored.




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I remember one holiday special from Marvel that had a cute Punisher story. Microchip and Frank make a bet that Frank can't stop a series of robberies without hurting someone, and Frank proves he's more than up to the challenge.


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 Quote:
THE Franta said:
Click here


I guess there's a lesson to be learned in there somewhere. Pretty funny, Franta.




 Quote:
King Snarf said:
I remember one holiday special from Marvel that had a cute Punisher story. Microchip and Frank make a bet that Frank can't stop a series of robberies without hurting someone, and Frank proves he's more than up to the challenge.


That was in the 1992 issue of MARVEL HOLIDAY SPECIAL (cover-dated January 1993), in a story by Carl Potts, Rick Levins and Al Milgrom.
I showed the cover in the first post on page 2 of the topic (again, sorry for the less-than-sterling quality of the cover image, the only one of it I could find.)




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 Quote:
Sideways said:
How could I forget DCU Holiday Bash I, II, and III? I bought all three of them last year during the summer. The guy sold them to me for 50 cents each because it was way off season.
.
They have short Christmas stories involving several DC characters. I remember a scene where Max Mercury tries to tell Bart (Impulse) that there's no Santa Claus. Max says "People just aren't that selfless. The man spends his whole life in service of other people." Bart says "Superman? Hello?" and Bart compares Santa to other DC heroes, like he can read minds like Martian Manhunter to find out who's good or bad, he can disappear from your house like Batman, he can shrink down chimneys like the Atom.


You said this back on page 2 of the topic. My apologies for not responding sooner. I wanted to fully read these issues before I responded.
But I couldn't agree more with your assessment. I think the Impulse story was the best of the ones I read.


On Friday, I picked up DC UNIVERSE HOLIDAY BASH issues 1 (1997) and 3 (1999), although I couldn't find issue 2.
And I was surprised, despite what I considered lackluster art throughout, the stories themselves were remarkably good.

In issue 1:


Highfather and Orion fill in for a department-store Santa who doesn't show up, in "A Highfather Christmas", and their supernatural antics re-awaken the spirit of the season, and save Christmas for what would have otherwise been some very disappointed kids and parents. (story by Walt Simonson, art by Sal Buscema)

And also good in this issue is "The Vessel", a Chanukkah story starring Kyle Rainer/Green Lantern, in a story that retells the history of how Chanukkah began, and also deals with anti-Semitic violence. (story by Michael Jan Friedman, art by Roger Robinson and Phyllis Novin.)




In issue 3 (the 1999 issue):


The highlight was the Impulse story, "No Bart, There Is No Santa Claus" (story by Mark Waid, art by Craig Rosseau and Mike Sellers) which was very charming, about the selfless and giving aspect of Christmas, with a lot of well-played humor, and wonderful unexpected twists.

Also good in this issue is "Home for the Holidays" (story by Scott Beatty, art by Damian Scott and Sean Parsons), about an imprisoned supervillian, who is lonely on Christmas and misses his family, and contemplates a jailbreak so he can see his wife and son. A touching story.



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Another treasure-trove of Christmas stories are the Disney comics.

I picked up this 1988 CHRISTMAS PARADE special at cover price last year. A nice Carl Barks cover, to top this thick collection of Christmas stories.



You can see this and the second issue
HERE

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One of my personal favorites:


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Honestly, I didn't like that one, C W.

But then, I don't like the level of profanity, violence, and deliberate foulness of Garth Ennis' work in anything I've read by him. He seems to pride himself in how vulgar and blasphemous he can be.

I vaguely recall the story being about a sadistic, drooling, foul-talking filth-encrusted wino, out on a killing spree, which the two anti-heroes of the series dispatch at story's end.

One that I loved, that had a similar irreverence for the holiday, but still managed to not include the more over-the-top elements is BIZARRE ADVENTURES 34, which I listed previously here.





Another that I just picked up this week is a new MARVEL HOLIDAY SPECIAL.

I especially enjoyed "The Mole Man's Christmas", which contained playful reference to the movie Citizen Kane, with the FF in a search for the Mole Man and his obsession with Christmas since childhood.

Plus an Avengers Christmas story.

And a third story featuring the FF in a more Dickens-patterned setting.

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Quote:

Wonder Boy said:
Honestly, I didn't like that one, C W.

But then, I don't like the level of profanity, violence, and deliberate foulness of Garth Ennis' work in anything I've read by him. He seems to pride himself in how vulgar and blasphemous he can be.

I vaguely recall the story being about a sadistic, drooling, foul-talking filth-encrusted wino, out on a killing spree, which the two anti-heroes of the series dispatch at story's end.




...yeah, but it rhymed!

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Another for the collection:

The AMBUSH BUG STOCKING STUFFER SPECIAL





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From the true-meaning-of-Christmas school of storytelling, STARMAN 27:





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I reread Adventures of Superman #462 a few weeks ago. The cover says "Homeless for the Holidays" and in it, Allie is discovered to have been living in one of the closets at the Daily Planet but was too embarrassed to ask for help. The message here is that we're not Superman, but we should do something to help anyone in need. No wonder this story was reprinted in the Lois & Clark trade paperback.


I used to roam the world fighting monsters and sleeping in mud. Now look at me, living in a castle, sleeping in a bed. Aren't I sweet? Yuck!
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Quote:

Wonder Boy said:


BATMAN 219 (2/1970) backup by Friedrich, Neal Adams and Dick Giordano. Batman shows up at police headquarters, no crime is occurring, so he sings Christmas carols all night with the police officers there. Kindness and good fortune makes people all over town think twice about crime, suicide, etc.
larger image of it HERE

BIZARRE ADVENTURES 34 (2/1983) Stories with a humorously bizarre look at Christmas.
"Son of Santa" by Mark Gruenwald and Paul Kupperberg,
"Howard the Duck's Christmas" by Steven Grant and Paul Smith (a very funny take-off on the movie It's a Wonderful Life, with some of the nicest Paul Smith pages I've seen),
"Slaybells" by Mike Carlin, and
"Santa Bites the Big Apple" by Al Milgrom.
This is one of my favorite Christmas comics.
http://fullsize/34.GIF


GUMBY'S WINTER FUN SPECIAL (from Comico, 12/1988) by Steve Purcell and Arthur Adams. A very fun story with a childlike sense of innocence and adventure. Gumby and his pals go on an incredible journey to rescue Santa. And 40 gorgeous pages of Arthur Adams art.
http://fullsize/1.GIF






These are probably my faves also.

The only other one I'd mention would be the old issue of "Teen Titans" which was really dopey, but Nick Cardy's depiction of Wonder Girl in a Santa minidress made it one of the best Christmas stories ever.


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I actually enjoyed that Teen Titans story also, G-man. I liked the Dickens element, and for whatever flaws, thought it was a charming story. Nick Cardy is an under-rated artist, who I think is finally getting some due praise for his versatility and individual style. In 1973-1974, he was doing most of DC's covers.

I first read this Titans story in the CHRISTMAS WITH THE SUPERHEROES treasury collection.





 Quote:
H H H said:

Adventures of Superman #462




Yeah, I read that one too. I kind of liked it and didn't like it, maybe because it was perhaps a bit too real. The homeless girl portrayed wasn't a beauty queen or in any way glamorous or spectacular. She was just a regular person down on her luck.

And perhaps we need more stories like that, ones that portray regular human beings, who aren't exceptional or charismatic, but makes us appreciate them simply as vulnerable human beings, who contribute to making our world better in a humble way, and not as charismatic superstars.



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