1. Do you own a pet?
No. I cannot own him. He is free.
What kind of pet?
1/4 poodle, 1/4 parrot, 1/2 wookie.
Do you like this pet? Explain.
Yes. He listens to me. And he rips the arms off those kids down the street who throw rocks at me.
2. How many friends do you have?
23.
How close are they?
Very. I have them all chained together in the basement.
What is the most personal thing you talk to them about?
I tell them everything. I especially love to tell them about how I want to take their skin and make a new wallet or belt with it.
3. What is your bank account number and PIN?
Blue. 12345.
4. Do you like your Mother and Father?
Mom's great. Dad isn't as good as he should be.
Why? Explain.
With lemon pepper and oregano, mom's perfect. Dad's a little too gamey.
5. Please break a pen over a sheet of paper and fold the paper in half. Opening the paper again, what do you see there?
A child screaming out for help. But the world won't answer. It's too busy drinking cheap whiskey and pawning the neighbors' TV and steroes to care. And, at night, the world comes into that child's room and urinates on him.
What makes you see it like that? Is it the edges or the color? Explain.
No. I'm fucking crazy.
6. Sex? Explain.
Sex is what the TV sells but never delivers. Sex is $20 and a hooker so stoned and drunk that she doesn't notice the rusty knives with dried blood sitting in the back seat.
