RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts Where the FUCK is The 'Mazing Cider-man?

Of all the times to be absent...

hey little boy, spick and span, where were you when the poop hit the fan?

Been busy suing the pants of Marvel for using my likeness in a movie.....AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

RACK you, Cidey.

Could you BE any more white?

Now you'll have to tangle with Mickey Mouse, too!

TINY TOONS RAWK

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular corner and informed her he would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or problems.

A gentleman pulled up shortly after and asked her how much to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her husband. The husband told her to tell the client $100. She went back and informed the client at which he cried, "That's too much!" He then asked, "How much for a handjob?" She asked him to wait a minute and ran to ask her husband how much.

The husband said "Ask for $40." The woman ran back and informed the client. He felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove his pants and underwear. Upon the removal of his clothing the woman noticed that the man was well hung.

She asked him once more to wait a moment. She ran around the corner again at which her husband asked "Now what?" The wife replied "Can I borrow $60?"


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A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I�ll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you�re so old... how do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck �em dry!"


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Cat Resolutions


I will not flush the toilet while my human is in the shower.


I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my humans watch a horror movie.


I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.


I will not lean over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then run screaming into the box of clumping cat litter.


I will not use the humans' bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.


I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and barf them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.


My human will never let me eat her pet rat, and I am at peace with that.

The Master: I don't know, rocket fire at long range - somehow it lacks that personal touch.

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