|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
|
|
300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Senior Perdicion (56%, 9 Votes)
|
El Daga (44%, 7 Votes)
|
Playaz Club-TK/Wednesday (72%, 13 Votes)
|
Homeland Security-G-man/WBAM (28%, 5 Votes)
|
Rex (32%, 6 Votes)
|
Doc Mid-Nite (68%, 13 Votes)
|
Bibbo (42%, 8 Votes)
|
Charlie (58%, 11 Votes)
|
SDC - Sammitch/Chewy (58%, 11 Votes)
|
Dark Lords - PI/Spamm (42%, 8 Votes)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 257
200+ posts
|
|
200+ posts
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 257 |
'Rough Justice' plays, and The Tuesday Night Rockers make their way to the ring. The crowd pops them, and Nuriko, Terri Savitz and AJR join them on their way down to the ring. The six all enter the ring, with the Rockers holding the ropes open for the other three. Fantastic is then handed a mic by AJR and begins to talk
James Fantastic: Y'all saw what happened with my match against Chris Oakley. El Daga tried to hitch a lift on the Rockers express-way straight to the top by comign out after the match and throwing his weight around, Well, El Daga, the button's been pressed and the lift in going straight down!
Marcum: He's back, and he still doesn't make any sense!
James Fantastic: As far as The Tuesday Night Rockers are concerned, the only thing on our minds is Halloween Handjobs, and our match! On that night, The Rockers are going to take the show to the people! Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Coming soon to a Cheese-Dome near you, THE TUESDAY NIGHT ROCKERRRRRRRS!
The crowd pops Fantastic, and he hands Tommy the mic
Tommy Savitz: What can I say? If there's one thing about RDCW that will always keep you coming back for more, it's you guys out in the stands! You fuckin' rule!
Cheers and applause
Tommy Savitz: On the matter of the tag match, Fantastic has pretty much said it all, but I've got something else to add. Oakley, feel free to go after you old teammate, but y'all better wait until after our tag match. Focus on that, boys, or your asses are gonna get kicked all the way to Mars! At Halloween Handjobs, I'm gonna get in that ring, take you all on and drop you on that mat faster than you can say 'Santa del Mierda'!
Marcum: What's he talking about?
Monroe: It's 'Holy Shit' in Spanish!
Tommy Savitz: Buckle up and get ready for the Tommy train, cos brother The crowd join in I'm that DAMN good!
The crowd cheers again, even louder than before, and Tommy Savitz grins. AJR takes the mic
AJR: Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to extend a most cordial invitation to an old colleague of mine, Doc Paragon. Simply put, Doc, get the hell out and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!
The crowd laughs, and cheers
Marcum: Wadday know! AJR does have some spirit after all!
Monroe: Doc Paragon was AJR's oldest foem dumbass!
Rough Justice plays again, and The Rockers make their way to the back via the audience, exchanging high fives with their fans and signing autographs
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 785
Assassinist 500+ posts
|
|
Assassinist 500+ posts
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 785 |
(Doc. Mid-Nite enters the Cheesedome arena via the backstage entrance and is quickly approached by The Crotch and his camera crew...)
The Crotch - "Doc! Doc! Can we just get a moment of your time please?"
(The Mid-Nite Doctor smirks, and kindly obliges...)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "Sure! You don't need an appointment to see The D.O.C. I make housecalls..."
(The Crotch looks up at the Mid-Nite Marauder with a sigh of relief and a look of amazement...)
The Crotch - "Really?! Because the last time I saw you, I ended up having a "Nite Cap" Van Daminator administered to my forehead, courtesy you and Cowgirl Jack!"
(Doc. Mid-Nite laughs in amusement...)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "Aw, c'mon Crotch! It's a new day... and I'm a new man with a whole new agenda..."
(The Crotch lifts up his microphone closer...)
The Crotch - "That's exactly what I wanted to ask you about... for the fans out there and the people at home... what is up with this whole "free agent" deal? What exactly is your agenda? And in what direction is the Mid-Nite Express headed?!"
(Doc. Mid-Nite smiles and puts his arm around The Crotch...)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "Well, Crotch, y'see it's kinda like this..."
(Doc. Mid-Nite quickly snaps The Crotch into a reverse headlock and grabs the cameraman, pulling him in forcefully...)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "There's a Mid-Nite Train approaching the RDCW and it's nothin' but full-steam ahead for malicious Mid-Nite Madness as your "Highlight of the Nite" descends upon this upcoming PPV "Halloween Handjobs..."
(Doc. Mid-Nite lets go of the cameraman and administers a "Lethal Dose" DDT to The Crotch...)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "... and nobody knows when this Night is going to fall! Y'all betta break yo'self!"
(Doc. Mid-Nite quickly disappears into the shadows...)
Protect Yo'Neck:2005
"Life ain't nothin' but bitches and money" - Ice Cube
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 36
25+ posts
|
|
25+ posts
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 36 |
*Joey Biles walks up to Balls Nasty backstage. As he approaches to ask the Hardcore Porn champ for an interview, Nasty grabs the mic and pushes Joey to the ground. The camera follows Joey's fall, but Nasty grabs the lens and pulls it back to him. His face is read with anger, and there's a bandage across his forehead. The veins in his neck begin to pop out as he yells into the mic.*
Louie! Do you think really think that you and your ass monkeys have what it takes to stop me?! Do you think you've got what it takes to put Balls Nasty out of commission?! I've been fighting all my life. I've been fighting for more than just a belt with gold decorations. I've been fighting for survival, whether it's in the ring, on the streets, or in prison.
You see, Louie, you're just trying to scare me. All you want me to do is cower in some corner while you and your lap dogs beat your chests and declare your victory. And that's you're biggest mistake because Balls Nasty fears no man. I didn't become Hardcore Porn champion by being afraid.
You just shot a grizzly bear with a squirrel gun, Louie.
*Nasty rips the bandage off his forehead and points to the scar left from last Havoc.*
And now this bear is coming for you.
Speaking of my title, Little Charlie. You think that you can just run in and run out with my trophey in your hands? Has the long forgotten Family runt finally gotten tired of being overshadowed? You forget, Charlie. I know who you are. I'm not talking about the mask you wear out here in the ring for the fans and all the other wrestlers in the back. Not the loud talking, brash and over-confident facade that you parade out in front of the fans every week. I'm talking about the real man who packs away his wrestling gear in favor of jeans and a t-shirt. I know that man, and I plan on destroying him.
This Sunday, Charlie, I'm coming in ready for war. If you want to survive, you better come to the arena with your mask on.
*Nasty begins to punch the scar on his forehead causing it to reopen and gush blood down onto his face.*
Because I'll be wearing mine.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,826 Likes: 8
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
|
|
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,826 Likes: 8 |
Kickstart my heart blasts outta the speakers Monroe:"Its Nowhereman." Marcum:"He has no right coming out here,he hasnt even got a match tonight!" NM makes his way to the ringNM:"Hellooooooo Cheesedome!" fans cheer at this cheap popNM:"Well once again it would seem our esteemed general manager,thedoctor,has once again seen fit to deprive you fans the chance to see me in action!" The fans boo,and chant Doc sucksNM:"He does indeed,and from what I hear,Rob often gives him a raise!" Fans chant Rob is gayNM:"But enough of the backdoor boys,lets talk about something a bit more interesting......me!" NM poses for a few seconds,soaking up the cheers from the crowdNM:"Now as it stands,not only do I not have a match tonight,I do not,as yet,have a match for Halloween Handjobs,a PPV that I named incidentally. Now I am sure this is just an oversight on the part of thecocktor as guys like Balls Sweaty & Chris Jokely with his band of mariachis,have matches!" Marcum:"He's just jealous that he isnt a GM anymore!" NM:"It would also seem that thecocktor has some kinda new enforcer in the form of Doc Mediocre,well I guess thats gonna stop us all from getting outta line huh!" NM shakes his head as he paces the ringNM:"So Cock.....I mean Doc,are ya gonna wise up & give me a match at HH or am I gonna have to make my own special kinda impact?" Monroe:"It sounds like Nowhereman has made an open challenge!" Marcum:"It sounds like Nowhereman is talking outta his ass!" NM:"ROCK N FUCKING ROLL!" Kickstart my heart blasts out as Nowhereman leaves
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,240
Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
|
|
Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,240 |
The lights go dark for an advertisement...
Real Men of Darkness
Mr. Top Rope Jumping Chair To The Head Smacker
Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Darkness
(real men of darkness)
Today we salute you, Mr. Top Rope Jumping Chair To The Head Smacker.
(Mr. Top Rope Jumping Chair To The Head Smacker. )
You've given us the real American dream: a top rope jumping wrestler who lays it on the line every day…smacking heads with a chair.
(Pinch me, I'm dreamin'!)
Creating dynamic moves that never stop. You’re so dark I can’t see you. “Hey, where are you?”.
(Ohhh, so dark!)
If there's a top rope and another wrestler you’ll bust ‘em wide open with a raging chair slam to the head. Man, your that dark.
(I thank God for darkness.)
So crack open an opponents head, crack open a Bud Light, watch the blood flow, and let them know what a true man of darkness ya are. You’re a Pig of Iron..a Real Man of Darkness.
(Mr. Top Rope Jumping Chair To The Head Smacker)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 215
200+ posts
|
|
200+ posts
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 215 |
'I Predict a Riot' plays, and Charlie makes his way to the ring, clad in his new ring gear and carrying an expensive looking silver cane.
Monroe: Charlie's looking a lot different, folks!
Marcum: Damn right! He's looking better than ever!
The crowd boos Charlie intensely, but Charlie ignores them and walks over to the commentator's table, where Marcum hands him a mic and shakes his hand. Charlie then gets into the ring
Charlie: So, Balls Nasty thinks he knows who I am? Well, Mr. Nasty, I have to correct you there. You don't know me, you just think you do. All you know is what I want you to know, and that's not gonna help you at Halloween Handjobs. This Sunday, I am gonna beat you until you beg for mercy, and then, and only then, will I take your belt. You can rbing all your little scientologist friends along, you can bring along all of L. Ron Hubbard's so called masterpieces, but that won't matter worth a damn when I KICK YOUR ASS!!!!
Marcum: You tell him Charlie!
Charlie: On the matter of washed up has-beens, I hear Nowhereman wanst a match at Halloween Handjobs. Well, how's this, Nowherehack. You step into the ring with me and Balls Nasty and I'll take you down as well?
The fans boo at Charlie's remarks, particularly his running down of Nowhereman
Charlie: One final thing, before I go. The Dark Lords have been making a lot of noise lately, beating down Joe Mama and acting like the big guys of RDCW. All I gotta say is this: Who the hell are you? Las ttime I checked The Bastardo's were the biggest dogs in the RDCW, and you want to take a piece of the action? I'll take any of you on, or all of you at once if you're too scared to face me alone!
Marcum: Of course they're too scared! Charlie's unstoppable.
Charlie: As for you, Joe, I'm not done with you yet. You better take care at Halloween Handjobs, because I don't care if you're in hospital or not, I will take you down. And I want you to remember, when you're lying on the ground and I'm standing over you, You Made It This Way!
'I Predict a Riot' plays, and Charlie leaves
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
|
|
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
A hip-hop medley of "Rooster" and "Los Muchachos de Hoy" plays over the Cheesedome PA speakers as Chris Oakley and Senor Perdicion make their way to the ring.Chris is wearing a T-shirt with the Mexican flag on the front and "VIVA PERDICION!" on the back.Crowd falls silent as Chris starts to address the fans.
CHRIS:I was just listening to the Tuesday Night Rockers' comments a few minutes ago, and all I can say is: Don't think, guys, that you have an exclusive patent on devotion to the fans. Me and my buddy here(nods to Perdicion) were putting our bodies and careers on line for the crowd night after night long before any of you came to town!
But before I get into that any further, let's talk about tonight's bout between Senor Perdicion and El Daga....Daga, what's going to happen to you tonight I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. (Huge pops from the crowd) You're about to get hit by 6 feet 11 inches and 347 pounds of pure 100-proof righteous fury by the name of Senor Perdicion-- and I'll be at ringside to watch it happen!
More pops as Chris hands Perdicion the mic.
PERDICION:Amigos, tonight I will take my revenge on that puta piquena El Daga... He has not only insulted me,he has insulted luchadores everywhere! The honor of lucha libre demands that he be punished, and so I will--
Perdicion is abruptly cut off in mid-sentence as "Looks That Kill" bursts from the Cheesedome PA and El Daga struts down the aisle.
MARCUM: Aye carumba!
MONROE: I can't believe that bastard has the nerve to show his face here tonight after what he did last week!
Daga looks at his former tag team partner with utter contempt as he raises his wireless mic to begin his commentary.
DAGA: You calling me a puta piquena? That's rich! (laughs cynically) Everybody knows what a useless maricon you are, Perdicion-- I did myself a FAVOR quitting your stupid tag team, not to mention the pathetic Bond Brigade. I've been carrying all of you cobardes like cheap luggage for....
Now it's Daga's turn to be cut off in mid-sentence as Perdicion vaults through the air and knocks him on his back with a flying forearm.
MARCUM: Oh, it's on now, baby!
MONROE: The former tag team partners going at each other like rabid dogs! RDCW officials, security, and superstars intervening to break up the melee! Chris Oakley with a wicked shot to Daga's jaw in the defense of his Bond Brigade teammate!
Camera follows El Daga and a swarm of Cheesedome security guards back to the locker room.
MONROE: If Oakley and Perdicion are half as aggressive at Halloween Handjobs when they team up with Hombre Lagarto to battle the Tuesday Night Rockers, we could have an all-out war on our hands!
Camera zooms in tight on Chris; he's got that classic Vince McMahon "I'm gonna kill somebody" look on his face.
MARCUM: And if anyone out there's forgotten how aggressive Chris can be, I'm sure he'll be only too happy to remind 'em!
Fade to commercial.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
|
|
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009 |
After another Verizon Wireless spot featuring MisterJLA and a promo for Halloween Handjobs, we're back from commercial. "Faded" plays as Joe Mama walks to the ring. He's still in a neckbrace, but he seems to be in less pain as he grabs a microphone and enters the ring amid the cheers of the crowd.
JM: Before I address my my opponent at Halloween Handjobs, I need to talk to a friend of mine. You see, Harleykwin and I were good friends long before she arrived on the scene. And when she came to the RDCW months ago, she asked me to let her make her own way. So I stepped back and watched as she tried to make a name for herself with the Allied Powers. Unfortunately that didn't work as well as she liked and she left with a bad taste in her mouth. And now she's back, but she's making another bad judgement call. Before she follows through on what will be a career-altering mistake, I want to do a little intervention.
Harley, we both know that Jason is one hell of a charismatic guy. I'm sure you find him cute, and he has a great sense of humor. He probably listened to you very closely as you wept over your beloved home team's loss in the MLB playoffs. And I'll be willing to bet he's filled your mind with promises of gold and glory upon your return to RDCW action. If you want to ally yourself with him, I wish the best for you.
But wait until after Halloween Handjobs.
You see, Jason and I aren't scheduled for a match. He won't be competing for the title that I wear, and I won't be defending it. What is scheduled to happen at Halloween Handjobs is nothing short of a massacre. The Heavyweight Cheese Title will be on the line, but it'll be secondary for us. Jason plans to finish a job he tried to start in our Asylum Rules Match, and I'm going to put an end to this illness of his. Jason and I are rushing to a confrontation that has always been inevitable and will be FINAL. What Jason probably hasn't told you are the stipulations and the details of the fight. We're saving those for the actual pay-per-view. If you believe nothing else I say, Harley, believe this: you do NOT want to be anywhere near us when this goes down. This confrontation will be bloody, it will be brutal, it will be sadistic, and I can't guarantee that either one of us will be walking out of it intact.
Stay home that weekend, Harley. Go back to that beautiful Brooklyn co-op of yours and make sure that no one will be able to enter your building. Shut the door behind you and be sure to secure the seven or eight locks that protect you New Yorkers from each other. Stay in your room - watch the pay-per-view if you have to. But don't come to the Cheese Dome that night. Anyone at ringside when Jason and I clash stand a good chance of being collateral damage, and I don't want you to risk yourself because Jason said "please". I'm asking you, as your friend, to stay away.
Now let me say something to the man you call Grimm...Jason, I heard your comments last week. About allowing me to destroy the RwO. About how you and Nowhereman let me defeat you and what you tried to build. And I gotta say, you're either a poor liar or you've decided, in your sick little mind, to piss all over everything you are and the legacy you'll leave. You're trying to sell people on the idea that you and Nowhereman - the two biggest badasses in the RDCW - decided to ALLOW me to destroy your empire and take away everything you two built? The same Nowhereman who kicked PJP and I out with a resounding Fuck-Off Slam? You're saying that guy and the monster of the RDCW couldn't take out their own trash themselves, so they let themselves be humiliated by their "biggest fan"? That's sad, Jason. You're better than that.
At Halloween Handjobs, don't let the Grimm who lets others do his work for him come to the ring. I want the Grimm who haunted the nightmares of his opponents. I want the Grimm who smiled as he decimated a rookie in his first Asylum Rules Match. I want the monster of the RDCW, not his pale, laughable shadow. At Halloween Handjobs, I'm coming for a fight. Jason, we deserve an epic battle at Halloween Handjobs. Don't force me to make it a mercy killing. You can nurse the fictions that you've created, but you damn well better keep them away from this ring when you and I throw down. Because at Halloween Handjobs, I'm going to hurt you...bad.
"Faded" plays as Joe Mama leaves the ring and walks backstage.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1
living in 1962 15000+ posts
|
|
living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
*Joey Biles is backstage mic in hand.JB: Ladies and gentlemen. . .The Dark Lords. The Dark Lords step out into the light, surrounding Joey on all sides. Joey begins asking Grimm questions. JB: Next week is Halloween Handjobs. You've got a Last Blood match with Joe Mama for the Big Cheese Title! Could you tell us what exactly is a Last Blood match? Grimm: You'll find out. JB: What about the Allied Powers? Last week, you brutalized Captain Howdy, yet they still have the tag titles! Darth: Captain Howdy has already learned the power of the Dark Side. Now. . .it will be JLA's turn. JB: Okayyy. . .what about Nowhereman's comments last week? Grimm: I'm glad that CC has finally come out and revealed his true self. . .I'm sure he and Rob Kamphalford will be very happy together. *The gathered Lords have a big laugh at this. JB: And the comments made by the Family Pitbull, Charlie earlier? Grimm: Charlie? Who the fuck is Charlie? Seriously, don't even waste my time with these jobbers. Get the fuck out of here. *Grimm takes the mic as Pig Iron, Spamm, and Darth shove Joey off downt the hallway. Grimm: The circle of darkness draws near it's completion. And now the circle grows again. The latest free agent of RDCW has made the right choice. It's no accident he returns at this time. Because it's the age of darkness and only those special few can find their way in the dark. Monroe: You don't think he means. . . MarcuM: He does! Free agent? Darkness? There's only one person this could be! Grimm: The newest member of the Dark Lords. . .my former tag team championship partner. . . . . . Doc. Mid-Shite!!!!!!!!! *A man dressed in a Doc. Mid-Nite outfit steps into frame as the Dark Lords laugh and clap him on the shoulder. DMS takes the mic and speaks. His voice is badly overdubbed.DMS: There's a pretender walking around here claiming to be the true Mid-Nite Doctor! Well there's only one real dark deal and I'm him! Monroe: Oh, please. . . MarcuM:  This is great! DMS: I challenge this fake Mid-Nite to a match at the Halloween ppv! Because the Mid-Nite Marauder has a few house calls to make! And when I drop my Blackout Bombs, you'd best be ready to run for cover! Check yo Neck! Monroe: This is disgusting. MarcuM: Whaaaat??? Grimm's brought back the real Doc. Mid-Nite! Not that phony from last week! Monroe: Fans, we'll be back! *Havoc fades out as another "Real Men of Darkness" ad plays.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 785
Assassinist 500+ posts
|
|
Assassinist 500+ posts
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 785 |
(Havoc returns and there's confusion in the crowd as the lights are still off...)
Monroe - "What the hell is it now...?" 
Marcum - "It's dark in here!"
Monroe - "I know that you idiot! The lights are off! What the fuck just happened...?!?"
(Before Monroe can finish his thought a spotlight hits the crowd up in the upper deck...)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "Again it is I, your role model, and "Highlight of the Nite", Doc. Mid-Nite, back amongst his public to answer the challenge of some "fly by night" wrestling has been that's never been and some fake poser affiliated with the Dark Whores..."
(The Mid-Nite Doctor pauses as his legions of fans chant D-O-C! D-O-C!)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "Neverwasman, The D.O.C. usually makes housecalls upon request, but apparently his appointment book is full tonight and at this upcoming event "Halloween Handjobs". So I guess, The Mid-Nite Doctor will have to fill your "prescription for pain" after, but believe me when I say the "good doctor" is going to give you a "check up from the neck up"
(Mid-Nite pauses for an instant again to let his fans bask in his greatness...)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "Which gets us to you Grimm... It seems you've let an imposter out into our midst... Well who ever this poser is he's about to get a lesson in " Malicious Mid-Nite Madness" as he steps into a whole other world with the " Mid-Nite Main Event" at this PPV in which I now declare as "Halloween Housecalls"
(Doc pauses again as the fans chant D-O-C! D-O-C!)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "By the way, it's Protect Yo'Neck! And you better remember it!"
(The lights go off and The Mid-Nite Doctor disappears into the darkness of the Cheesedome arena...)
Monroe - "Holy shit!"
Marcum - "Yeah I know. It's dark in here!"
Last edited by Doc.Mid-Nite; 2005-10-29 5:38 PM.
"Life ain't nothin' but bitches and money" - Ice Cube
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 24,593
Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
|
|
Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 24,593 |
*War Pigs sounds over the PA system as a spotlight shines up to a balcony at the top of the Cheesedome stands. The Doctor walks out with a mic in hand.*
I must first come out and say that I've enjoyed Nowhereman's brilliant parodying of other wrestlers' angles. Steve Austin, HBK, Hulk Hogan, and now, tonight, King Snarf. You've sat on your ass and then come out here six days before the PPV and demand a match. Well, guess what, you've got it. I'm feeling a little generous tonight, so you have your match. But that's as far as my generosity goes. So, the first match of the night for Halloween Handjob will be Nowhereman in a handicap match against PJP and Urg....... AND Captain Howdy. I won't be be complicating this match by saying whoever gets the pin gets something like a title shot or anything like that. Simply, if anyone, and I do mean anyone, of your opponents pins you during that match, they will all receive a nice Christmas bonus on their last paycheck this year. Enjoy your match, Nowhereman.
*The spotlight fades as The Doctor leaves the balcony.*
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet." Our Friendly Neighborhood Ray-man said: "no, the doctor's right. besides, he has seniority."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
|
|
300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
*The ring is decked out with pink and black tiling. There are two vinyl cushioned stools and mic stands in the center of the ring.*
Monroe: Folks, it's been a while but here we are, about to be treated to another installment of Meeko's Mic Night!
Marcum: And here I am without my barf bag.
Monroe: You know, I would have thought a guy like you enjoys seeing pink.
*The fans cheer as "Strike It Up" starts playing. Meeko, sporting her pink pinstriped black business suit, makes her way to the ring. She takes the mic in hand.*
Meeko: Welcome to Meeko's Mic Night!
*The crowd cheers even louder.*
Meeko: I know it's been a while, so I wanted to come back with a guest that would really get your heads turning. This former superhero used to run around the Cheesedome fighting injustice. Now, it seems his actions are being called unjust. Ladies and Gentlemen, hailing from the bowels of the Cheesedome, he is one fifth of the Dark Lords, Spandex Monkey Man!
Monroe: Meeko got SPAMM on her show? How did she manage that?
Marcum: She's the only one dumb enough to voluntarily stand alone in the ring with the loon!
*"Wings of a Butterfly" starts playing as SPAMM makes his way to the ring, cradling Mr. Sledge Hammer. Meeko takes her seat and motions for SPAMM to do the same as he enters the ring. However, SPAMM remains standing, taking the mic*
SPAMM: First and foremost, I do not hail as you claim, from 'The Bowels of The Cheese-Dome'. Such a place is home only to craven beings such as ROY BATTY and Llance, craven pirates of the back passage!
*There is much amusement among the fans at SPAMM's comments.*
Marcum: What on earth he's talking about?
Monroe: You don't wanna know, trust me!
Meeko: I can assure you that the only bowels I was referring to was the cellar of the Cheesedome. Moving on, up until recently you were a firm fan favourite, but you've turned your back on them to join The Dark Lords. What happened to cause this change in philosophy?
SPAMM: You're questions are as the pointless babblings of a child. I have said what I have to say on this, and will say no more.
*There are a few angry mutterings among the crowd, but Meeko retains her cool.*
Meeko: Ohkaaaay. In the past, you led your own team in the form of the RDJL, but now you're playing fourth wheel to Grimm, Darth and Pig Iron. Isn't that quite a step down for you?
SPAMM: Let me say this: Being a lesser member of the most dangerous group in RDCW is better than leading a team of neverwere undercarders and inexperienced fools!
Meeko: You're last comment is presumably a reference to your former tag partner Tommy Savitz, now a member of The Tuesday Night Rockers...
*The crowd cheers whole-heartedly at the mention of the Rockers*
Meeko: ...Who was an old friend of yours. Speaking of friends, it seems that since you've joined the Dark Lords, the only friends you have are a Staple Gun and a Sledge Hammer...
*SPAMM cuts her off.*
SPAMM: You're questions are boring, and your attitude angers me.
*SPAMM runs at Meeko with Mr. Sledge Hammer. She attempts to dodge the move but SPAMM connects with a shattering blow that sends Meeko over the top rope and onto the mat hard. SPAMM then grabs Meeko's mic.*
Monroe: Buhgawb! How could SPAMM do that to Meeko?
Marcum: You mean how could Meeko do that to herself!
SPAMM: Last week, Doc Paragon attempted to intefere in my match, costing me a victory against Chewy Walrus. This week, I have a chance to gain my revenge in a flaming tables match. I know that such a match strikes at the heart of all you claim to hold dear, but I will give you this warning: Stay out of the match, or you will pay in blood and soul. So Sayeth The Monkey Man!
*Suddenly, 'Ode to Joy' plays, and Doc Paragon appears on the ramp, mic in hand.*
Paragon: "Spandex Monkey Man. You are a perfect example of the corruption that has run rampant in the RDCW for far too long. When you first arrived here, you attempted to set an example for our youth. Fair play and goodness were on display every time you set foot in the CheeseDome. And you even displayed a modicum of wrestling ability. Nothing close to mine, of course. But a fraction of talent, nonetheless.
But then, something inside of you changed. That band of paganistic hoodlums you've aligned yourself with have perverted your very being and soul. You have been warped into a degenerate hoodlum. Recreated in your master's own image.
But I will help you, Spamm. At the upcoming pay per view, I will reignite the spark that once burned inside of you and teach you the path back to righteousness and glory. I will set the RDCW back on the path to greatness. If I have to do it one person at a time.
It starts now. Gentlemen. . .remove his friends from the ring."
*Paragon gestures as several security guards head down the rampway and surround Spamm. Spamm attempts to fight them off, but they surround him and remove Mr. Sledge Hammer and Mr. Staple Gun from his hands. As the guards leave the ring, the furious Spamm paces around holding the mic.*
*"Ode to Joy" cues up again as Spamm warns Paragon.*
SPAMM: You. . .just made the biggest mistake of your life.
Marcum: I can't beleive what I just saw! Paragon is insane!
Monroe: He's doing his job! That staple gun and sledge hammer are a disgrace to this institution!
Marcum: They're SPAMM's best friends! You can't just take away a man's best friends and expect to get away with it!
Monroe: They're inanimate objects!
Marcum: You want to try explaining that to him? They're his friends, and I have a feeling SPAMM will do just about anything to get them back!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17,801
terrible podcaster 15000+ posts
|
|
terrible podcaster 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17,801 |
<The SDC locker room is a scene of chaos. Meeko is being tended to on a gurney in the middle of the room under lights as two doctors and three nurses mill about hurriedly. Penwing - still on crutches - is leaning against a wall with a hand to his forehead and his eyes closed. Chewy Walrus is rummaging around in his toolbox off to one side of the room. Captain Sammitch is pacing back and forth intently...>
Penwing: We shoulda been out there.
Sammitch: Not in the rules, dude. Meeko doesn't ever let us go out there during interviews. Who would come if we did?
PW: This is bullshit, man, and you know it. That nutcase is way outta line. A damn sledgehammer???
CS: Be cool. Let's work the problem here. Spandex crossed the line - that's obvious. Nobody messes with Meeko - especially not during an interview. You can count on us visiting a little retribution on our borderline psychotic friend. But we're gonna fight him in the ring. We're not gonna pull that stuff in the match and get disqualified. Paragon's on the warpath, and I'm positive we won't get away with any more than Spandex or Pig Iron.
PW: Dude, I'm aware of Paragon. I'm aware of how we're supposed to act out there. But how are we supposed to wrestle those freaks by the book when we know they're going to do whatever they want whether they get away with it or not?
CS: First of all, you're gonna have a seat and try to calm down here. <Sammitch helps Penwing into a nearby chair> It's not gonna do you, or me, or Meeko any good if you get all worked up and hurt yourself worse. We both know you shouldn't be out there yet. I don't want you to risk ending your career because of these guys. I'm pretty sure I taught you better than that.
<All the while, Chewy Walrus is retrieving the parts he's been looking for from his toolbox and beginning to fit them together on the workbench beside him...>
PW: Don't talk down to me, man. I've held the title belt here. I know what I'm capable of. Now I appreciate your concern, but I don't think you're getting what I'm saying here. Regardless of whether we wrestle by the book or play fair during matches, we've gotta start making these Dark Lords pay for what they're doing! We're almost to that point. But we don't have a satisfying answer to Spandex and his antics yet.
Chewy Walrus: Yeah, we do. I already told you we should go with it.
CS: You sure, big guy? I mean, I know what his potential is, but...
PW: He's a loose cannon.
CS: Yeah. He just plain won't wrestle the way we wrestle. He's just about as crazy as Spandex is.
CW: And that's what we need. You brought me back so you'd have an answer for their biggest and baddest. But who's gonna take the fight to that crazy bastard? Not you, Sammitch - you're too damn squeaky clean for that. Not Penwing here - he's not back to one hundred percent yet, and won't be for a while. You have to call him, man. It's the only logical way to beat these guys. You've gotta get him in here... or you'd better figure out how you're gonna replace me.
PW: Damn, Chewy. You're makin' this tougher than it has to be.
CS: Look over there. Meeko's hurt, and we don't know how bad yet. Look at us. We're so busy arguing with each other that we can't figure out how to handle the punks we should be fighting. They've got everyone running scared - including us. That, gentlemen, is unacceptable. If we're gonna stand up to the Dark Lords and the Bastardos and whoever else wants to bring this place down, we're gonna have to change the way we do things. And if that means bringing him in here to do his thing... so be it.
<There's a long silence as the three wrestlers look at each other. Finally, Chewy nods and returns to his workbench...>
PW: Okay. We'll do it. But it'll be too late to impact anything tonight.
CS: Tonight is my responsibility - mine and Chewy's. Whatever business we have with the Dark Lords, we owe those fans a good match, and we're gonna take it to SPAMM and Pig Iron. We're not going to stoop to their level. We're going to fight this match fair and square. But, no matter what happens in that match, after the final bell, Chewy's going to deal with Spandex. I'll worry about Pig Iron. And with a little luck, you-know-who just might show up in time to make a difference. Got it? Chewy?
<Sammitch and Penwing look over to see Chewy, who is standing there with a chilling grin as he holds the object of his handiwork - a foot-long wooden handle with three lengths of bicycle chain nailed to it. The camera zooms in on Chewy and his primitive flail before fading back to the familiar Cheesedome...>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
|
|
300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Grudge Match: Senoir Perdicion vs. El Daga
Perdicion makes his way to the ring, accompanied by Chris Oakley; just before he climbs the ring steps, he pauses to salute a group of fans at ringside that have come up from his old neighborhood in Guadalajara for the occasion. Moments later, El Daga rushes down the aisle and punches Perdicion in the face. The battle heads outside the ring. Perdicion manages to get the upper hand and batters El Daga to the ring floor. Perdicion sets El Daga up and hits a Guillotine on his ex-partner right through the Spanish announcer's table. He throws Daga into the ring and hits him with back-to-back elbow drops, but just when it looks like he might have things under control, El Daga somehow manages to get up and delievers a low blow that opens Senor Perdicion up for a Veracruz Riot.
Quote:
MONROE: Here's the cover! One....two...and Perdicion just gets his foot on the rope!
MARCUM: There's no way Perdicion shoulda kicked outta that, Monroe!
MONROE: He may still have some gas left in the tank, Marcum! This match ain’t over yet!
The two former teammates get to their feet. After a few moments of tying up and grappling for control of the match, Perdicion goes for the Tijuana Assassin but misses, and Daga capitalizes on his ex-partner's mistake by nailing him with the Blowtorch; the referee counts one....two...at two and a half Perdicion suddenly kicks out. Incensed, Daga starts cursing the ref out in fluent Spanish, not noticing that Senor Perdicion is back on his feet until Perdicion hits him with the Last Gasp.
Quote:
MONROE: The Luchador’s fans are giving Perdicion a huge ovation as he heads for the top rope!
MARCUM: Fuhgeddabout it! Daga’s playin’ possum!
MONROE: For the second time tonight, Senor Perdicion's going for the Tijuana Assassin--and this time he hits it! One....two...THREE!! Senor Perdicion wins!!!
The crowd cheers wildly for Senor Perdicion as senior ring announcer James White officially declares him the winner of the match. However, before either man can exit the ring, the Tuesday Night Rockers rush the ring and attack both Luchadors. As James Fantastic and Tommy Savitz work over Senor Perdicion, Two-Ton Tommy lifts El Daga and drives him back to the mat with a terrifying chokeslam, and then tosses him like a ragdoll over the top rope and to the ring floor, where he hits with a sickening thud.
Quote:
Monroe: My Gawd! What is going on here???
Marcum: Tommy had no business doing that to El Daga! The man is a Mexican legend!!!
Monroe: I’m no fan of Daga’s actions of late, but there’s a difference between sending a message and ending a man’s career!
Marcum: Dammit, Monroe! Stop agreeing with me!!!
Chris Oakley and Hombre Lagarto rush to their teammate’s aid. Chris is met by Two-Ton Tommy. Hombre Lagarto and James Fantastic also lock up. Tthe war of words between the Rockers and the Bond Brigade has escalated into a full-fledged brawl.
Quote:
MONROE: Looks like we're getting a sneak preview of the six-man tag match at Halloween Handjobs!
MARCUM: It'll take the National Guard to stop this fight, Monroe!
MONROE: We need to get security out here! We have a man down with serious injuries and a brawl that is getting out of hand!!!
The camera pans briefly to the unconscious El Daga, then back to the Rockers and the Bond Brigade, as Arnold Judas Rimmer and Ian Bond intervene to break up the melee. AJR ushers Savitz and Two-Ton Tommy back to the Rockers' dressing room while Bond, Perdicion, and Lagarto return to the Bond Brigade dressing room under Cheesedome security escort. Ignoring the EMTs who show up to tend to El Daga, Chris Oakley and James Fantastic stand on opposite sides of the ring glaring at each other as Havoc mercifully cuts to a commercial…
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
|
|
300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Tag Division Match
Playaz Club vs. Homeland Security
After a botched Right Winger (double neckbreaker) on TK, the Daddy Mac managed to tag in Wednesday. Wednesday quickly knocked out WBAM with See You Next Tuesday, and together with TK, took the G-man for the pimp ride (double powerbomb) to get the pin.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
|
|
300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Singles Match: Rex vs. Doc.Mid-Nite
Rex showed few signs of ring rust upon his return to action, but the night belonged to the dangerous veteran, Doc Mid-Nite. The two competitors went back and forth, Rex using his brawling skill against Doc’s mix of lucha libre style and hardcore maneuvers. Rex attempted his finisher – the Sock Puppet (pump-handle power slam) – too early though, and Doc Mid-Nite easily reversed it into his “Lethal Dose” DDT. The stunned Rex was an easy mark for a “Long Kiss Goodnight” flying elbow, which would’ve been enough to seal the victory for Doc Mid-Nite. But Doc was aiming to send a message to the rest of the RDCW – yelling “Protect Yo’ Neck!!!” to the back, Doc drove Rex to the mat with his devastating finisher, The Blackout Bomb. The three-count was nothing more than a formality…
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
|
|
300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Hardcore Division match
Charlie vs. Bibbo
The match started as Bibbo and Charlie got down to business, trading a series of vicous punches before Charlie flung Bibbo out of the ring through the ropes. He then followed him out with a dive through the ropes, slamming Bibbo in the barrier.
Monroe: That's gotta hurt!
Charlie then hauled Bibbo to his feet and slammed his back into the apron, but Bibbo was able to fight through the pain and came back by executing a Drop Toe Hold on Charlie that dropped him onto the edge of the ring apron. Bibbo then proceeded to pound on Charlie as he lay on the mats, eventually setting him up for a piledriver, but Charlie reversed this into an Alabama Slam onto the concrete!
Marcum: There's no way Bibbo can come back from that! Charlie's got the match sewn up!
Charlie then picked up Bibbo and rolled him back into the ring before going for a pin, but the ref stopped counting on 1 as Charlie had his feet on the ropes. Charlie started to argue with the ref, allowing Bibbo to come back with a low blow before grabbing a steel chair.
Monroe: Bibbo's got a chair! He's going to attack Charlie with it!
Marcum: How original!
Bibbo slammed the chair down on Charlie's back, but Charlie ignored the pain and made it to his feet before nailing Bibbo with a vicious clothesline. He then whipped Bibbo into the ropes and hit him with an Enforcer as he came back. He then went outside the ring and pulled a table out from under the apron.
Monroe: What's he gonna do with the table?
Marcum: Put Bibbo through it, maybe?
Charlie then threw the table back into the ring, before following it in and setting it up. He then whipped Bibbo into the corner before hitting a Stinger Splash. As Bibbo struggled to fight through the pain Charlie lifted him to the top and hitting a thunderous Tower of London, right through the table!
Monroe: Tower of London right through the table! BUHGAWD!
Charlie then went for a pin, scoring a three count to win the match as the crowd booed. Suddenly, the stomping beat of "We Will Rock You" started blasting over the speakers. The crowd quickly started to cheer as a worried look came over Charlie's face.
Monroe: It's PenWing! He's back for vengeance!
Marcum: He's back to get beat again is more like it!
As the song ended Howler and Highwayman walked onto the stage holding up hockey sticks. They pointed to Charlie and started laughing as a big smile came over his face. The crowd quickly booed after realizing the prank.
Monroe: Well that's just about the rudest thing they could do to these fans!
Marcum: The fans? Forget the fans! Charlie almost pissed his pants! What a practical joke! This is why the Family owns the RDCW!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
|
|
300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Flaming Tables Match
Sudden Death Connection - Captain Sammitch/Chewy Walrus vs. Dark Lords - Pig Iron/Spandex Monkey Man
<Sirens blare throughout the CheeseDome, fading into 'Countdown to Armageddon' as Pig Iron and Spandex Monkey Man make their way to the ring amid a decidedly mixed reaction from the crowd...>
Marcum: Here they come! This is gonna be a bloodbath, Mike!
<Pig Iron strikes a pose in the middle of the ring as SPAMM clambers to the top rope and poses amid the cheers - and laughter - of the crowd...>
Monroe: We're in for one hell of a match, folks!
Marcum: Flaming tables!
<Fat Retard, sitting in the third chair, mumbles something unintelligible as he crams more McDonald's fries into his mouth...>
<'Let's Get it Started' hits and the crowd goes ballistic as Captain Sammitch and Chewy Walrus head down the ramp, stopping short of the apron. The two tag teams stare each other down for a long moment. Finally, Sammitch nods to Chewy and makes his way into the ring. Pig Iron motions to SPAMM, who slides down out of the ring - and immediately charges over toward Chewy!>
Monroe: What's he doing? The match hasn't even started yet!
<Pig Iron and Sammitch come out of their corners, and James White rings the bell...>
Marcum: It has now, Mike!
Pig Iron whips Sammitch into the ropes, but Sammitch dodges him on the rebound. Pig Iron lands a few punches before Sammitch blocks him and answers back with a hard chop across the chest. Pig Iron staggers back for a moment, but recovers quickly and throws a hard right at Sammitch. Sammitch rolls with the punch but is still knocked off balance. Pig Iron whips him into the ropes and then connects with the Iron Cross!
Marcum: Good Gob!
Fat Retard: Double Quarter Pounder!
Meanwhile, Spandex is letting fly with flurry upon flurry of punches outside the ring, but they barely faze the much bigger Chewy. Chewy finally tires of SPAMM and shoves him across the apron. SPAMM tumbles over the steel ring steps, but scrambles to his feet and dashes over to Pig Iron's corner.
In the ring, Sammitch is still trying to regain his rhythm after the Iron Cross. Pig Iron tags SPAMM in, who charges in and throws a few quick punches. Sammitch whips him into the ropes, and SPAMM tries to tangle Sammitch up for the Evilplex...
Monroe: Bad idea...
Sure enough, Sammitch reverses the hold and throws Spandex for a series of Sammitch Suplexes! The crowd counts along excitedly:
ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE!
After the fifth suplex, Sammitch flings SPAMM across the ring and tags Chewy in. SPAMM frantically crawls for the corner and manages to tag Pig Iron in at the last possible instant. SPAMM scurries around toward the announcer's table...
Monroe: What the hell does he want over here?
Marcum: Who cares? He's crazy! Get outta the way!
SPAMM comes around the table and shoves Fat Retard out of his chair to the floor. Fat Retard doesn't miss a chew or drop a single fry, and keeps munching, thoroughly oblivious. Spandex folds the chair up and heads back toward the ring.
Meanwhile, Pig Iron is on the defensive. He tries to whip Chewy into the ropes, but Chewy reverses and flings Pig Iron at them full-tilt. Pig Iron rebounds awkwardly but recovers his balance just in time to be met by the Walrus Wallop! Pig Iron hits the mat hard, and Chewy seizes the opportunity to follow up with his Wrecking Ball leg drop!
Marcum: Buhgawb!
Sammitch rummages around beneath the ring and fishes out a table. He hefts it onto the edge of the mat and pushes it about halfway into the ring when SPAMM comes up behind him with the chair...
Monroe: Watch out!
SPAMM swings the chair with all his might, but Sammitch dodges him and SPAMM misses completely, bringing the chair down onto the protruding half of the table with a tremendous CLANG!!!
Marcum: GOOD GOB!!
Fat Retard: I need another order!
The chair bends slightly under the impact, and SPAMM staggers back, rattled. Pig Iron is slowly getting to his feet, but Chewy is distracted by the racket outside the ring and turns around to see what's going on. Sammitch pushes the table the rest of the way into the ring, but as he turns around Spandex swings the chair again! This time, Sammitch isn't quite able to dodge the chair completely, and SPAMM wings him with the blow, sending him tumbling into the barrier around the apron. Chewy turns around just in time for Pig Iron to lock him up for the Pork U!
Monroe: No way! He can't!
It takes a supreme force of will, but Pig Iron executes the Pork U perfectly and drops Chewy to the mat.
Marcum: I don't believe it, Mike Monroe!
SPAMM grabs a can of gasoline from beneath the ring and slides under the ropes. As Chewy gets to his feet, Spandex drops the can and dashes over in time to execute The Dark Clown!
Marcum: Dark Clown! Dark Clown!
SPAMM and Pig Iron hurriedly set the table up at one end of the ring. SPAMM opens the gas can and douses the table, then strikes a match and begins dancing and jabbering madly as the table bursts into flames!
Fat Retard: Drop toe hold!
Chewy manages to gather himself to his feet, but Pig Iron whips him into the ropes again. As Chewy rebounds back toward Pig Iron and the flaming table, Pig Iron gets into position, then catches Chewy and body presses him into the air!
Marcum: BUHGAWB!
Monroe: This could be it!
Unfortunately, Pig Iron doesn't have quite enough in him to put Chewy through the table, but Chewy's shirt catches fire and he drops to the mat, rolling around frantically trying to put it out. SPAMM goes after him but is intercepted by a Sammitch Spin kick and crumples to the mat, rolling out of the ring and onto the apron. Sammitch starts to go after Spandex but turns to help Chewy. Neither of them notices Pig Iron climbing to the top rope carrying SPAMM's chair until the crowd starts clamoring frantically. Pig Iron vaults off the top rope with the chair into the Swine-A-Sault!
Marcum: Look out below!!!
Sammitch leaps to the mat and rolls out of the way, but Pig Iron manages to catch Sammitch's left leg and Chewy's torso! Chewy is out cold and Sammitch is limping a little, but the impact has obviously devastated Pig Iron. Desperate to buy time for his tag partner, SPAMM dashes into the ring and starts throwing a flurry of punches at Sammitch. Sammitch is slow to hit back, and the crowd begins cheering for him to get back into the fight. Suddenly, Sammitch blocks one of SPAMM's punches and answers back with a quick chop that staggers Spandex. The crowd roars as Sammitch goes on the offensive with a series of quick strikes. Pig Iron finally gets to his feet, and the duo starts double-teaming Sammitch! They whip him into the ropes, but as he rebounds Sammitch leaps into the air and connects...
Monroe: Flying double clothesline!!!
SPAMM drops to the mat, stunned. Sammitch drops to his knees in the middle of the ring in obvious pain. Pig Iron crawls around the flaming table and clambers up the turnbuckle to the top rope. Sammitch sees him... and starts climbing up the same turnbuckle!
Marcum: Good Gob, Mike!
Monroe: This is insanity! Someone's going to get seriously hurt!
Despite their injuries, Pig Iron and Sammitch keep slugging it out atop the turnbuckle. Both men are bloodied. Chewy Walrus lies unconscious in the center of the ring. Spandex Monkey Man finally manages to roll out of the ring, but he isn't getting up from the arena floor. The crowd is on its feet as Pig Iron sets Sammitch up for a finisher. Suddenly, Pig Iron's grip slips! Without hesitation, Sammitch reverses the move and launches the two of them off the turnbuckle!
Monroe: SAMMITCH SLAM!!!
Sammitch powerbombs Pig Iron through the flaming table!
Monroe: It's over!
James White rings the bell, and the crowd goes ballistic as 'Let's Get it Started' blares over the speakers. Sammitch raises both arms and acknowledges the cheering crowd, then staggers over to where Chewy is just now coming to.
Marcum: Watch out for Spandex!
An enraged SPAMM rushes over to the smashed table and wrenches a leg off it! He starts to clamber into the ring when suddenly, someone comes charging down the ramp!
Monroe: Who the hell is he?!?
The mystery man is dressed in fire-engine-red spandex, with blue boots and a blue cape and mask! For reasons unknown, a blue ferret is emblazoned on his chest. Cackling maniacally, he charges up to SPAMM and spears him into the ring steps!
Marcum: That looks like Sammitch's other college roommate!
Monroe: It is! It's Killconey!
Killconey and SPAMM slug it out on the apron while Sammitch helps Chewy to his feet. Suddenly, the music cuts off as the CheeseDome goes dark. "Cemetary Gates" begins to play.
Monroe: My Gob! No! Not now! Not now, dammit!
MarcuM: This isn't good for the SDC!
Grimm and Darth slide into the ring and stand face to face with Chewy and Sammitch. After a moment, the Dark Lords begin pounding on their former allies without mercy. Pig Iron staggers back up and joins in the assault.
Monroe: This is a mugging!
Rob's Killer Instinct Ripoff Music begins to play as the Allied Powers run down to ringside and join in the fray!
Monroe: BUHGAWB!!! The Allied Powers have joined the battle!
MarcuM: Way to go, JLA!!!
"Kickstart My Heart" cues up as Nowhereman runs in as well, targeting JLA and Howdy! He chases JLA off with a chair, but Howdy catches him from behind with a running bulldog!
Darth catches JLA outside the ring with a choke hold! Sammitch attempts to join in, but Darth catches him as well!
Monroe: They're brawling all across the arena!
At that moment, "Faded" cues up as the fans go into a frenzy!
Monroe: It's Joe Mama!
Joe Mama appears on the rampway and holds up the Big Cheese title. He drops the belt and runs down to ringside, sliding into the ring.
He and Grimm walk up to each other, standing nose to nose as the various combatants pause to give them room and move out of the way.
Monroe: We're out of time! We're out of time!
MarcuM: No, dammit! I want to see 'em fight!
Monroe: We'll see you on Halloween!
Havoc fades out as Joe Mama and Grimm step back and begin to throw punches. . .
Last edited by madman marcum; 2005-11-03 5:13 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
