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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Captain Howdy (C) (72%, 13 Votes)
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Charlie (28%, 5 Votes)
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The Outcasts (61%, 11 Votes)
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mWo (39%, 7 Votes)
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Captain Sammitch (C) (67%, 12 Votes)
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G-Man (33%, 6 Votes)
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PenWing (c) (44%, 8 Votes)
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Jeremy (56%, 10 Votes)
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MisterJLA (C) (61%, 11 Votes)
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Nowhereman (39%, 7 Votes)
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 7,025
graemlin protector 6000+ posts
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graemlin protector 6000+ posts
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 7,025 |
bukake walks into the back to see a pissed bpt
BUKAKE: rcdw numbah one anoncer....
BPT: shut up punk. the first ppv and everyone is too busy. plenty of so calle dchamps sitting round, and plenty of wrestlers suckin up ice cream in the back. bullshit. more like too many people worry about being the next to scream and be made a punk. the punk maker has you scared. afraid of going over the top rope and left to watch my hand raised in victory, while your dodging popcorn and soda.
i came to the rdcw for a challenge, for a title, for competition. and this is what i find. it's ok, i can understand why you wouldn't want to see me with a newly acquired belt on my waist, and a video of you screeaming like a punk to the punk maker all over the cheese dome. anyone brave enough, come rehash, you know where i'll be.
pushing bookahkke back and walkin off in disgust.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Cut to the Outcasts' dressing room, where Joey Biles is standing by with El Superbeasto and Chris Oakley.
JOEY: I'm here now with one half of the Outcasts, the reigning RDCW world tag team champions Chris Oakley and the Giant Luchadore El Superbeasto....gentlemen, before we discuss tonight's no DQ eight-man tag team match between the Outcasts and the MWO, would either of you care to comment on Big Pimp Tim's remarks?
CHRIS: How's this for a comment, Joey-- after the Outcasts are finished destroying the Meathead World Order tonight at Re-hash, we'll be glad to take on Big Wimp Tim at the next Havoc, and when we do it'll be HIS punk ass that gets thrown over the top rope!
SUPERBEASTO: Si! Little Shrimp Tim is nothing but a puta who likes to talk big and run away-- we will crush him like the worthless cucaracha that he is!
JOEY: OK, getting to our main topic...what do you expect from tonight's eight-man tag against the MWO?
CHRIS(chortles): I expect to kick Spandex Junky Man's butt, that's what. By the time the match is over, he'll wish he'd never heard of RDCW. Even as we speak Nuriko and Amuck are practicing some killer martial arts manuvers that'll guarantee victory for the Outcasts!
JOEY: Rumor has it that you may be targeting the Liberal Conspiracy next in your ongoing quest to dominate the RDCW tag team division...
SUPERBEASTO: Quite right, Senor Biles. We do not play favorites when it comes to gaining tag team glory....To us, Senor Jim Jackson and Senor Whomod are just two more cucarachas to be stepped on!
CHRIS: And one last thing...Tim, you'd better enjoy your RDCW career while you can, because the Outcasts are going to end it VERY soon.
Chris and Superbeasto walk off camera to join their teammates' prematch warmup.
JOEY: There you have it, folks, the Outcasts throwing down the gauntlet to their present and future foes as they get ready to battle the MWO!
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,398 Likes: 38
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,398 Likes: 38 |
Quote:
Marcum: That was an EPIC promo cut by The Outcasts, the reigning Tag Team Champions! Speaking of champions, they don't get any bigger than the Big Cheese World Champ, MisterJLA!
Monroe: Hm. If that's your lead-in, I suppose it's time to talk about the Main Event: MisterJLA defending the World Title against former champion, Nowhereman!
Marcum: Yeah! At this year's RobbleMania, which was the greatest PPV EVAR...
Monroe: Until tonight's event...
Marcum: Of course...at RobbleMania, JLA took the belt from "Nowie" in grueling 60 minute Iron Man match! On the following HAVOK, JLA announced his plans for the title! No more free televised title defenses! The World Title will only be seen on PPV's! This new policy is to ensure that the title earns a new level of prestige!
Monroe: This only ensures that JLA's reign will last longer!
Marcum: You've been listening to PenWing too much.
Monroe: ...
Marcum: Anyhow, JLA also announced a new policy on the HAVOK after RobbleMania: whoever gets the PPV title shots, has to earn them! Nowhereman had to "run the gauntlet", winning the Main Event on HAVOK three weeks in a row just to get his title shot here tonight at REHASH!
First Match
In the first round, Nowhereman pinned LegBreakerererer Stupid Dogg, using "The Black n Blue"!
Monroe: But the win came at a price! Doog concentrated on Nowie's legs, using leglocks to wear him down. This set the stage for the next match in Nowhereman's running of the gauntlet, Nowie vs Winged Creature, Doog's Legbreakererer tag partner!
Marcum: Uh...yeah. As all the fans are aware, we here at the RDCW had technical problems during the Main Event that week. That match was never shown: UNTIL NOW!
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,398 Likes: 38
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,398 Likes: 38 |
Cut to a black screen with "HAVOK 4/18/06" written in white letters.
A jumbled, blurry mess of highlights are shown from Nowhereman vs Winged Creature. Much like Stupid Doog before him, WC focused his attack on Nowhereman's legs. JLA watched from the rampway, while talking on a cell phone...
Quote:
JLA: Can you hear me now? Good. Can you hear me now? Good. Can you hear me now? Good.
Soon, Hardcore Poon champion Captain Howdy joins JLA on the ramp!
Quote:
Howdy: You goon! Who are you talking to?
JLA: Joe Mama. He won't answer my private messages, and since thedoctor banned him for 30 days, this is the only way I can talk to him! On the telly!
Howdy: We call television "the telly", you tit-head!
JLA: Oh yeah, I forgot. So...Joe and I are discussing strategy! Winged Creature is doing OK, but I don't think he'll defeat Now here man! If Now here man wins this match, he'll be one step closer to a title shot at REHASH! I've got to find a way to stop him from making it to the greatest PPV of all time!
Howdy: Just let me at 'em! I'll murder him!
JLA: No, I don't want you getting involved! You're the Hardcore Poon champ, and you can't risk an injury by trying to take out Nowhereman, that tossbag!
Howdy: Have it yer way! I hope for yer sake you have a better plan for next week than this! Later, gimp!
JLA: Toodle-oo !
Howdy heads for the back, just as Nowhereman pins Winged Creature using "The Twisted Sister"...
Quote:
JLA: FUCK!
"Kickstart my heart" plays, as Nowhereman stares down JLA. JLA brandishes a mic...
Quote:
JLA: One more HAVOK until REHASH! I must admit, you've done well to this point. Or maybe I haven't been testing you well enough. You've done well in singles matches...but how will you fare in a handicap match against: HOMELAND SECURITY???
Just then, wbam and the G-man emerge from the crowd, and try to attack Nowhereman. Before they hit the ring, Nowhereman runs to the announcer's table, and secures a chair. He rolls back into the ring, and invites Homeland Security into the ring. wbam and The G-Man back off.
Quote:
JLA: You won't be able to use that chair next week! And if, check that: when you lose, you'll be out of the Main Event at REHASH! And then I'll be able to choose my opponent! I haven't decided who it will be, but it sure as Hell won't be you!
Toodle-oo !
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,398 Likes: 38
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,398 Likes: 38 |
Cut back to REHASH...
Quote:
Monroe: The fans waited two weeks for that?
Marcum: JLA's been a little lazy with his writ-
Cameraman: Guys, we're on!
Marcum: Whoops! So there was the second round of the gauntlet, leaving Nowhereman one victory away from getting his title shot! And wouldn't you know it, he defeated Homeland Security in a handicap match! OK, on to...
Monroe: That's it? Where's the match?
Marcum: We had technical difficulties that week, too, remember?
Monroe: We lost the live feed, but didn't we save the footage?
Marcum: Uh, no. We had massive computer problems, too. Nowhereman did win the match, and that's all the people need to know!
Fin...
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,900
notnotnotnotnotnotnotwedge 2500+ posts
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notnotnotnotnotnotnotwedge 2500+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,900 |
*The scene shifts, according to words at the bottom of the screen, it's the basement meeting facitlites of the Il Palazzo hotel in Fukuoka, Japan. Ariel is on the screen along with BFE. Ariel is dressed up like Excel from Excel Saga, BFE looks the same as ever. Ariel raises her arm in a salute.*
Ariel (yelling): HAAAAAAAAAIIIIILLLLLLLL JOHNNY EVIL!!!
&BFE puts his hand up as well, but not as high. He's holding some sort of fried food.*
BFE: Hail.
*The camera turns, revealing JE on a raised platform. He's sitting in an elaborate chair, but the whole "Excel Saga" thing gets thrown off because Johnny is dressed up like a Japanese "Yankee Punk" (which is kind of ironic because Yankee Punks look as though they're trying to look like Caucasian bikers).*
JE: No. I'm not Johnny Evil anymore. That's all over now. We need to make a change.
Ariel: YES!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING!! WHAT DO YOU WISH TO BE CALLED NOW SIR?!!
JE: From now on, I'm Evil Wrestler Johnny.
Ariel: WOW!! WHAT A GREAT NAME!! IT'S SO DIFFERENT FROM YOUR OLD ONE!!
EWJ: We will all need new names for out new purpose. Ariel, your new code name is Ramada.
Ramada: THANKS!! THAT'S A GREAT NAME!!
EWJ: Big Fat Elvis, you are now Big Fat Osaka Elvis.
BFOE: Osaka?
Ramada: OF COURSE!! ANYONE IN MANGA OR ANIME WHO HAS AN ACCENT IS FROM OSAKA, NO MATTER WHAT THE ACCENT IS!! HERE!! LET ME HELP YOU FEEL AT HOME!!
*Ramada hits BFOE with a paper fan.*
BFOE: Er, ok. Can I get some more of this fried squid?
Ramada: SEE?!! YOU'RE GETTING INTO IT ALREADY!!
EWJ: We will use the limited knowledge of Japanese culture we've gotten from anime and manga to take over RDCW! From this day forward, we are...
...THE OTAKU!
Ramada: WOW, COOL!! WHEN DO WE START?!!
EWJ: We have one more member to recruit before we head back, but we'll be back soon. Very soon. Like at the next Havok or something. I should have already stopped speaking...
Ramada: IT'S OK!! YOU JUST NEED TO COME UP WITH A BIG ENDING!!
EWJ: Right! I'm Evil Wrestler Johnny, 22 years old. My goal is to be the evilest wrestler in RDCW! With the Otaku ny my side, there's no stopping me. And they're by my side even though I'm a tough loner!
Ramada: THAT'S RIGHT!!
BFOE: Now, about the fried squid...
EWJ: You'll get it, now just pose dramatically so we can fade out:
BFOE: OK...
*They pose dramatically and the scene fades out.*
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,000
5000+ posts
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5000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,000 |
*"Detroit Rock City" blasts over the speakers and the crowd cheers as PenWing makes his way to the ring, Y Belt around his waist and Sherwood in hand. He takes a mic from James White and waits for the crowd to quiet down.*
PW: Jeremy, I hope you enjoyed your little moment last week. You probably went home after the show and laughed about how you put one over on the Y champ. But Jeremy, you made it very clear just how green you are in the RDCW, when you walked away from a chance to win the belt. Yeah, you've got your first victory, but where's your pride? Where's your heart?
Jeremy, we're going to answer those questions tonight. After what ammounted to a no decision on Havoc, the Doctor has agreed to ensure a clear winner tonight by making this Y Belt match No Disqualification!
*PenWing holds up his Sherwood to pops from the crowd.*
PW: Tonight, Jeremy, there won't be any count outs, there won't be any cheap victories. Tonight, two men will enter this ring, and only one will walk out with the real men's belt, the Y Belt! Just remember, Jeremy, you asked for your initiation into the RDCW. Be careful what you wish for!
*PenWing drops the mic as "Detroit Rock City" again blasts over the speakers and he makes his way to the back.*
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 67
25+ posts
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25+ posts
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Posts: 67 |
*El Superbeasto walks down the hallway, holding his tag team gold. He's wearing an oversized black tshirt with OBEY across the front and a drawing of Andre the Giant's face on the back. He's drinking from a bottle of tekilla.
He passes Amuck and holds out the bottle.
ES: Amigo! Drink to our upcoming victory!
*Amuck looks at the bottle, looks at Superbeasto and shakes his head "no."
ES: Amigo! I say drink!
*Again, Amuck shakes his head "no."
ES: I am growing angry with you, little man. You are Outcast now. You drink with me!
*Amuck turns and begins to walk away, but Superbeasto grabs his arm.
ES: You had better hold up your end of tonight's match, or I will squash you like cucaracha you are.
*The two masked men glare at each other for a moment before Amuck finally turns and walks off again. El Superbeasto takes another swig of tekilla before resuming his journey.
*Cut back to ringside.
I will destroy all of you putas. Greetings from El Superbeasto.
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