Las Vegas, Nevada
"Well, Smithers, here we are..." C. Montgomery Burns said from his penthouse suite, looking down upon the throngs entering his latest attempt at a casino - 'Mr. Burns Casino - Part the Third!' "They called me stupid when I reopened my
second casino two years ago. And they said I would be foolish to do it again! Fortunately, Monty Burns doesn't know the meaning of the word..."
"Uh... I could loan you a dictionary, sir," Waylon Smithers said, holding out a pocket-sized Merriam-Webster.
"Never mind that now, Smithers!" Burns said, waving his bony arm dismissively. "Tell me more about these high-rollers down at the poker table..."
"Well, sir, one that is of particular interest is Rusty Ryan," Smithers said, glancing at a large file in his hand. "We have surveillance video of him skulking around the last time the casino opened..."
"So?"
"Well... that casino was robbed, sir," Smithers gulped.
"Oh, just because the man likes to gamble doesn't mean he's a thief as well! Next?"
"Well, there's a young man from England... apparently flew out with a few friends of his," Smithers said. "His name's... Eddy."
"Last name?"
"That's all we have, sir," Smithers said, showing Burns the file. "Just 'Eddy'. Seems to be doing quite well for himself, though there are a few notes that say he was involved in some underground high-stakes tournaments in the UK."
"That's fantastic, Smithers!" Burns said, surprisingly unbeat, as though nothing could crush his mood. "That's just the kind of rusting flair that 'Part the Third!' needs!"
"Uh... certainly, sir," Smithers said, flipping a page. "Another young gentleman, Mike McDermott, seems to be doing the best so far. He's been in a few poker world championships, though he's not quite made it to the top yet..."
"
Excellent..." Burns said, steepling his fingers. "That should definitely bring crowds..."
"And finally, we have a man by the name of Charlie Miller," Smithers said. "Definitely the veteran of the group. I believe he helped to best the notorious 'Dean of Cards'..."
"Well, Smithers, it seems like we have quite a few to keep an eye on," Burns said, heading for the door. "Shall we hit the tables, then?"
"Well, we'll really only have to make one stop, sir," Smithers said, clearing his throat. "They've all just seated themselves at the same table."
"You jest!" Burns said, agog.
"I'm afraid not, sir," Smithers answered.
"Well, then, we must waste no time!" Burns said, doubling back for his desk. "Initiate Code...
Omega!"
On the playing floor of the casino, four men gathered around a table. One sat eating a thick cheeseburger. Another glanced nervously behind him at his friends, who smiled and waved. A bald man among them elbowed them hard, whispering something about acting like tourists. The blond man raised an eyebrow, sussing up the others, while the older man across from him rolled a chip from finger to finger over the top of his hand.
Suddenly, and without warning, a large metal cage fell from the ceiling. Claxons began blaring and alarm lights whirring. The players each looked around, bewildered as the voice of C. Montgomery Burns filled the air.
"Attention, gamblers, sots, scallawags, and sundry patrons of 'Mr. Burns' Casino - Part the Third!' I am C. Montgomery Burns, the owner of this establishment. According to the rules I have put in place at this casino, whenever four or more high-rollers... or, in this case, cardplayers are sharing a table, I shall encase them in a cage for your amusement. Here they shall play until all of their collective monies are in the hands of one of the four. Now... let the poker commence!"



Rusty Ryan (Ocean's Eleven) versus Eddy (Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels) versus Mike McDermott (Rounders) versus Charlie Miller (Shade)