This is the second best one so far:
I work as an auditor with the federal government. I get paid 80k/year, get great benefits, 6 weeks of vacation, 18 paid holidays, and as much personal time as I can think up reasons to use (last year I took personal time to grieve for the death of a great uncle -- I did my grieving while scuba diving in Costa Rica). The best part is, when I'm at work , I dont really do anything. I close my door and download crap off the internet. Sometimes I even sleep. I use a government SUV as my own ride. Once during a performance review, they suggested that I was not doing my fair share. I threatened to get a lawyer and they backed down. The best part is YOUR paying for it!
