Cat Resolutions
I will not flush the toilet while my human is in the shower.
I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my humans watch a horror movie.
I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.
I will not lean over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then run screaming into the box of clumping cat litter.
I will not use the humans' bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.
I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and barf them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.
My human will never let me eat her pet rat, and I am at peace with that.
I will not help myself to Q-tips, and I will not attempt to stuff them down the drain to dispose of them.
I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare into her eyes until she wakes up.
