RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts Pariah, I'm going to beat your ass...

...with my mind!!

First head to ass'plode wins!

Fireworks, you fuck!!

I saw SCANNERS, too.....


It didn't work for the guy in that movie, either..his head exploded like a watermelon that Gallagher had hit with a sledgehammer.

Yes, Jerry....it seems I have won with the first shot.

Your support and servitude in this endeavor will not be forgotten in the New Regime. Thank you...

This unit is grateful to be of service to you.

I'm ordering you an upgrade...

Don't fight your natural instincts, man. We don't judge...

Water Lyrics
The Who

The foreman over there hates the gang
The poor people on the porch get it so rough
The truck driver drives likea devil
The policemen - they're acting so tough
They need water
Good, good water
We need water
And I'm sure there aint one of us here
Who'd say, "No," to somebody's daughter
(No... no.... no... no... no...)

Sampson seems sorta sweaty
They draftsmen - they smudged their work
The captain of a ship is swimming
Then just wore off a keen bank clerk

{Chorus:}
We need water
Good, good water
We need water
And maybe somebody's daughter

C'mon, gimme good water
C'mon, gimme good water
C'mon, gimme good water
Please don't refuse me, mister
I've seen your daughter at the oasis
And I'm beginning to blister

A Chevrolet just made steam
Your crop is laying foul
My grass skirt's lost its green
I'm alive, but I don't know how

{Chorus}

{Guitar Solo}

Gimme good water

Indian Lake is burnin'
New York's skyline is hazy
The River Thames is turnin' dry
The whole world is a-blazin'

{Chorus}

Ah, gimme what I need

{Guitar Solo}

Please, water, water, water, water, water, water

{Guitar Solo}

Gimme water
Water
Water
(Water...)
And I'm sure there ain't one of us here
Who'd say, "No," to somebody's daughter
(Oh, no)
Whoa...
No, no, no, no, no...
No, whoa

Laine Frankie
Cool Water

All day I've faced the barren waste,
Without the taste of water:
Cool water. (Water.)
Old Dan and I, with throats burned dry,
An' souls that cry for water: (Water.)
Cool, (Water.)
Clear, (Water.)
Water. (Water.)

Keep a-movin, Dan,
Don't you listen to him, Dan,
He's the devil, not a man:
Spreads the burning sand with water. (Water.)
Dan, can you see that big, green tree, (Water.)
Where the water's runnin' free? (Water.)
It's waitin' there for me and you? (Water.)

The nights are cool, I'm a fool.
Each star's a pool of water.
Cool water. (Water.)
But with the dawn I'll wake and yawn,
And carry on to water. (Water.)
Water, (Water.)
Water, (Water.)
Water, (Water.)

Keep a-movin, Dan,
Don't you listen to him, Dan,
He's the devil, not a man:
Spreads the burning sand with water. (Water.)
Dan, can you see that big, green tree, (Water.)
Where the water's runnin' free? (Water.)
Waitin' there for me and you?

Cool, (Water.)
Clear, (Water.)
Water. (Water.)

Cool, (Water.)
Clear, (Water.)
Water. (Cool, clear, water.)

Happy 4 th of July to all.

Dress up as JESUS! Here is where you can get a Jesus costume :

http://www.starcostumes.com/item.asp?item=PE30281

MISSION COMPLETE!

Monk

It's A Jungle Out There by Randy Newman for season 2

It's a jungle out there
Disorder and confusion everywhere
No one seems to care. Well I do.
Hey, who's in charge here?
It's a jungle out there
Poison in the very air we breathe
Do you know what's in the water that you drink?
Well I do, and it's amazing
People think I'm crazy, 'cause I worry all the time
If you paid attention, you'd be worried too
You better pay attention
Or this world we love so much might just kill you
I could be wrong now, but I don't think so. It's a jungle out there\

Quotes from Monk

Sharona Fleming: So you remember how many empty boxes you saw?
Adrian Monk: It's a blessing, and a curse.


Adrian Monk: I tried doing that once, making every minute count. It gave me a headache.
Sharona Fleming: What doesn't?

Billie Piper (born Lianne Paul Piper on 22 September 1982) is an English singer and actress.She began her career as a pop singer when she was a teenager and progressed to acting; her roles include Rose Tyler, companion to the Doctor in the television series Doctor Who from 2005 to 2006, a role she reprised in 2008. In 2007, Broadcast magazine listed Piper at #6 in its "Hot 100" list of influential on-screen performers, the top woman on the list.She has also portrayed the prostitute Belle de Jour in Secret Diary of a Call Girl.

Billie Piper - Honey To The Bee


mmm, mmm, mmm, come on, buzz me up to heaven baby
mmm, mmm, mmm, come on, buzz me up to heaven

chorus:
i've been missing you, i should be kissing you
honey to the bee, that's you for me
i wouldn't tell a lie, got a love i can't deny
honey to the bee, that's you for me
honey to the bee, that's you for me
honey to the bee

i close my eyes and i see you clear
it feels like you're lying here (no, no, no)
all the things i want to say come and go
easy as a breeze, those words just flow (no, no, no)
i float on air, light as any feather
your love so sweet like an open flower
i'm dizzy from the time we spend together
i need that honey drip every hour

bridge:
i'm thinking about your sugar lips
got a feeling for you now that's so strong
i'm dreaming of the candy in your fingertips
baby don't stay away from me too long

chorus

mmm, mmm, mmm, come on, buzz me up to heaven baby
mmm, mmm, mmm, come on, buzz me up to heaven

you make me smile, but you're far away
i hear your voice like it was yesterday (no, no, no)
all the things you do they make me feel so fine
i got to tell the world about a love that's mine (no, no, no)
these wings to fly are gonna last forever
'cause one by one my dreams come true
and i touch the sky whenever we're together
i can't believe the joy i get with you

bridge

i've been missing you, i should be kissing you
honey to the bee, that's you for me
i wouldn't tell a lie, got a love i can't deny
honey to the bee, that's you for me

chorus

come on and buzz me

(hey now) you're the only one who can get me there
(hey now) when you gonna hear my prayer, yeah
(hey now) you're the only one who can get me there
(hey now) when you gonna hear my prayer, yeah

bridge

i've been missing you, i should be kissing you
honey to the bee, that's you for me
i wouldn't tell a lie, got a love i can't deny
honey to the bee, that's you for me
i've been missing you, i really should be kissing you
honey to the bee, that's you for me
i wouldn't tell a lie, got a love i can't deny
honey to the bee, that's you for me

chorus

honey to the bee, that's you for me
honey to the bee, that's you for me
yeah, you for me

What the hell is this fucking shit?!

You're late!

it happens

You're early!

The AFLAC Duck User 100+ posts 10/15/09 09:35 PM Viewing the portal page

AFLAC!

Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
A: She's withholding evidence.

Farmer Brown goes out one bay and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken. The cocky young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says: "OK, old fellow, time to retire." The old rooster says: "You can't handle all these chickens, look what it did to me!" The young rooster replies: "Now don't give me a hassle about this old man. It's time for the old to step aside and the young take over, so take a hike!" The old rooster says: "Aw, c'mon, just let me have those two old hens over there in the corner. I won't bother you." The young rooster snarls: "Scram! Beat it! You're washed up! I'm taking over!" The old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster: "I'll tell you what, young fellow, I'll have a race around the farm house with you. Whoever wins the race gets full domain over the chicken coop." The young rooster smiles: "You know I'm going to beat you, old man. So just to be fair, I'm even going to give you a head start." The two roosters line up in back of the farm house; a hen clucks "Go!" and the old rooster takes off running. About 5 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farm house and the young rooster is inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. Farmer Brown, sitting on the porch, hearing the commotion looks up and sees what's going on. Quickly, he grabs his shotgun and BOOM! The young rooster is blown to smithereens! Farmer Brown sadly shakes his head in disgust: "Damn! That makes the third gay rooster I bought this week."


--

What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice? Don't you have a cat?
What is a cat's way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.
How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? For kitty littering.
Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists? Because they finally opened their eyes.
Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat? Hiss and Tell.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat? A big furry creature that purrs while it sits on your lap and squashes you.
What does a cat do when it gets mad? It has a hissy fit.
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
What happened when the cat went to the flea circus? He stole the whole show!
What is a cat's favourite colour? Purrrrrrrple!
Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The retail store.
What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.
What do cats use to make coffee? A purrcolator.
What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A duck filled fatty puss.
If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he's in a bad mewd.
If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat? None! They were copy cats.
Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you? That depends on whether you're a man or a mouse.
How does the cat get its own way? With friendly purrsuasion.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew.
What has more lives than a cat? A frog because it croaks every night.
What is a cat's favourite subject in school? HISStory.
What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
What's happening when you hear "woof... splat... meow... splat?" It's raining cats and dogs.
Why are cats such good singers? Because they're very mewsical.
What do you call newborn kittens who keep getting passed from owner to owner? Chain litter.
What is the cat's favourite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn't empty.
Why do you always find the cat in the last place you look? Because you stop looking after you find it.
If a cat can jump five feet high, then why can't it jump through a three foot window? Because the window is closed.
What is a cat's favourite movie? "The Sound of Mewsic."
What does a cat that lives near the beach have in common with Christmas? Sandy Claws.
Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can't? Your lap.
Why did the cat put oil on the mouse? Because it squeaked.
What side of the cat has the most fur? The OUT-side.
What is a cat's favourite car? The Catillac.
What kind of cat will keep your grass short? A Lawn Meower.
Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats? Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.
What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.
Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!
Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide? Because he's always spotted.

The Doctor: You know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delight and satisfaction of the arts... the gentle art of fisticuffs.

--

A man is telling a story... "I was playing golf, and even though I am usually a pretty good player, I was playing horribly that day. As I was about to tee off at the fourth hole I heard a voice say, "three wood." I looked around and no one was behind me so I took my stance. Then once again I heard "three wood." I looked down and there was a frog at the corner of the tee box, and he was telling me to use my three wood. I thought it was stupid but I was playing so badly that I thought nothing could hurt me so I took out my three wood. It was a long par four, and I hit the ball straight 250 yards with that three wood. Since the frog seemed to be lucky I picked him up and took him along with me. At the next whole he told me to use my five iron. It was a par three and I got my first hole in one ever. I made a least a birdie on all the rest of the holes, and all I had to do was listen to that frog.

That night I took the frog to the casino in my hotel. We played Roulette. I put my money where the frog said and won on every spin of the wheel. After that I was tired so I went up to bed. I took the frog out of my pocket and put it on the dresser. Suddenly it looked at me and said, "kiss me." Now I wasn't about to kiss a frog, but he said it again. So I kissed the frog and he turned into the most beautiful fourteen year old girl you have ever seen in your entire life. And that your honor is how that fourteen year old girl ended up in my hotel room.


--

This guy goes into a whorehouse and tells the mistress he wants to eat out a girl for the first time. She sends him up and he meets this deadly blonde chick. She whips down her pants and he starts licking her twat. Minutes later he feels something in his mouth and spits out a corn niblet. Thinking this is normal, as he has never done it before continues eating her out. Minutes pass and he finds a piece of carrot in his mouth. Still thinking this is normal he continues. Soon after he finds a piece of meat and stands up. "Excuse me miss, but are you sick?" She looks at him and replies "No, but the last guy was!"


--

Inside every fat book is a thin book trying to get out.
- Unknown

The long-lived books of tomorrow are concealed somewhere amongst the so-far unpublished MSS of today.
- Philip Unwin

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.
- Oscar Wilde

People are certainly impressed by the aura of creative power which a writer may wear, but can easily demolish it with a few well-chosen questions. Bob Shaw has observed that the deadliest questions usually come as a pair: "Have you published anything?" (loosely translated as: I've never heard of you) and "What name do you write under?" (loosely translatable as: I've definitely never heard of you).
- Brian Stableford

...the vital point to remember is that the swine who just sent your pearl of a story back with nothing but a coffee-stain and a printed rejection slip can be wrong. You cannot take it for granted that he is wrong, but you have an all-important margin of hope that might be enough to keep you going.
- Brian Stableford

Originality does not consist in saying what no one has ever said before, but in saying exactly what you think yourself.
- James F. Stephan

Joh Byrne

His first encounter with Marvel Comics was in 1962 with Stan Lee
and Jack Kirby’s Fantastic Four #5.[3] He later commented that "
the book had an 'edge' like nothing DC was putting out at the
time".[4] Jack Kirby’s work in particular had a strong influence
on Byrne and he has worked with many of the characters Kirby
created or co-created. Besides Kirby, Byrne was also influenced
by the naturalistic style of Neal Adams.

Iron Man
Byrne took over writing Iron Man (#258–277), drawn by John
Romita Jr. and later by Paul Ryan. Byrne launched a second
“ArmorWars” story arc, restored the Mandarin as a major Iron Man nemesis, and featured the 1950s “pre-superhero Marvel” monster Fin Fang Foom.