Whole Hog Farmer Brown goes to market and buys several hogs to breed for things like ham and bacon to feed him and his wife. After a few weeks, it becomes apparent the female pigs are not getting pregnant, so he calls the local vet for help.
"Perhaps you should try artificial insemination," the vet advises.
Farmer Brown doesn't have the vaguest idea what "artificial insemination" is, but, not wanting to display his ignorance, he asks, "How will we know when they're pregnant?"
"Well, for one thing, they'll stop standing around and will, instead, begin to wallow in the mud."
"Thanks, Doc. Appreciate your time." The farmer hangs up and gives this some thought. "Hmmm…artificial insemination. He must mean I'm supposed to impregnate the pigs myself."
So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives deep into the woods, does each one in turn, brings them back, and goes to bed. Next morning, he awakens and looks out at the pigs. Seeing they are all still just standing around, he concludes the first try didn't take. Again he loads them back into the pickup, drives to the woods, does each pig twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just milling around.
One more try, he tells himself, and that's it! Into the pickup, and off to the woods again. He spends all day shagging the pigs, and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed. The next morning, he is too spent to raise himself from the bed. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are just standing around.
"Nope." she says.
"Finally!" Farmer Brown says with an exhausted sigh.
His wife adds, "They're all in the truck and one of 'em is honkin' the horn."
