RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts Random texts from pictures I found on my phone

Wassup bitch. Since you had so much to say on the comments let's bring it here into our messages
Audio call
00:23
Pick up the fucking phone hoe. Let's really talk about how I held my fucking urine for 1 hour straight on a vacation I took stupid bitch
Missed audio call
Call back
You can't hold your urine oh the fuck well. I can
CALL ME LETS REALLY
HAVE A DISCUSSION

A History lesson for People that think History doesn't matter:

What's the big deal about railroad tracks?

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.

Why was that gauge used?

Well, because that's the way they built them in England, and English engineers designed the first US railroads.

Why did the English build them like that?

Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the wagon tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

So, why did 'they' use that gauge then?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that same wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?

Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break more often on some of the old, long distance roads in England . You see, that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads?

Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

And what about the ruts in the roads?

Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match or run the risk of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome , they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with this?', you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.)

Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah . The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature, of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system, was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything and....

CURRENT Horses Asses are controlling everything else.

Sarah Guzzardo
@MsSarahGuzzardo
What was my favorite "reaction gif" as a child? Oh Timmy no. When I was your age we had to respond in person, immediately, and we had only three choices— tiny violin, slow clap or jerk off motion. That's it. 3 choices. You made the call and you made it fast.

"And I'll tell you who 'her' is: Cassandra Nova. A megalomaniacal, psychotic a-hole.
A finger-licking dead-inside pixie slab of third-rate dime store nut milk," "And I'll tell you what she can do...She can lick my goddamn cinnamon ring clean and kick rocks all the way to bald hell. In fact, I don't give a s
- if she removes all my skin and pops me like some nightmarish blood balloon" "If the last thing I do in this godforsaken c-m gutter existence is light that f- box on fire, I still won't die happy."

"And you can quote me on that"

Food for thought: if the US cut just 2% of its annual defense budget it could afford to construct a colossal obsidian sphere in the San Francisco Bay. On top of the obvious economic benefits, it would be visible throughout all of northern California and emanate an ominous hum!

If you ever feel dumb, just remember that Peppa Pig's family kept a fish tank on top of a television

"Alexa, intruder alert"

ALEXA WILL


Add action


• Turn off all lights


•Turn volume on 100


•Say "so you have chosen death"


•Play "DOOM eternal OST 22- The only thing They fear is you"


•Release every Roomba

COACH
@paycoachk
Taylor Swift got 400 songs about niggas leavin her and 0 songs about suckin dick.... see where I'm goin with this?

"Why can't I play in the abandoned copper mine,
Mommy?"
BECAUSE JOE HART DIDN'T CLEAR OUT THE VAMPIRE DENS.
VOTE IAN KOBE MINE INSPECTOR WRITE IN CANDIDATE

EMISSION CONTROL INFORMATION
BRIGGS & STRATTON, LLC
BRIGGS& STRAITON
Refer to owner's manual for maintenance specs, adjustments, & emissions durability info. This engine meets U.S. EPA and Califomia EXH/EVP SORE regulations for.
Model Year 2023 Displacement: 140cc

How English has changed over the last 1000 years: the 23rd Psalm
Modern (1989)
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He lets me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me to still waters.

King James Bible (1611)
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still waters.

Middle English (1100-1500)
Our Lord gouerneth me, and nothyng shal defailen to me.
In the sted of pastur he sett me ther.
He norissed me upon water of fyllyng.

Old English (800-1066)
Drihten me ract, ne byth me nanes godes wan.
And he me geset on swythe good feohland. And fedde me be wactera stathum.

I HAVE MASTURBATED TO YOU EVERY NIGHT
SINCE I DISCOVERED IT

BUT YOU'RE NOT A MASTER, DON'T YOU MEAN YOU
"PADAWANKED?"

stella barey & @bareybaby
My lifelong dream of double penetration is being realized tomorrow
1:50 PM • 2023-02-28 • 9,314 Views
165 Likes 8 Retweets 1 Quote
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Aldo Litch @AldoLitch • 48m
Sadly mine of universal healthcare seems further and further away. Good luck on the dp.

Some people think about Peppa's fish far too much. https://www.reddit.com/r/Aquariums/comments/1aq9cuc/the_reason_why_id_rather_have_my_child_watch/

To be fair, Bluey is fantastic. It’s the only kids show on Disney+ that I can stomach to watch when my niece and nephew come over.

Bluey is so good. Have you heard the theory that Bluey's dad Bandit (an archeologist - he digs for bones, you see) is an artefacts smuggler? The backdrop to their house is a very affluent suburb in Brisbane. And Bluey's mother works in Customs (like a sniffer dog).

No but that actually tracks. Him having ties to organized crime would explain why all the neighbors just roll with the weird shit their kids do. They’re afraid to cross the Heelers.