“Come on, guys!” Uncle Otto yelled into the cave. “We’re missing the parade!” He looked at the watch strapped to his wrist with yarn. “Aweeee geez!” he let out as he looked up towards the road leading to town.
A car pulled to a stop and three men climbed out of it. Another man climbed down off the top of it. “Is being beautiful day for ride, no?”
Dr. Huerta walked up to Otto and presented him with a gift. “We thought that with the rocky friendship we’ve had, a small token such as this was in need.”
“Bah!” Otto replied as he waived off the gift. “I could care less about your stupid team. We have surpassed your B-Team. We are the next generation of superheroes.” The bear rose his hands in the air dramatically. “C-Men! ASSEMBLE!”
“I...... uh.... I’ll be..... be out in a...... min..... minute!” Master Beta called out from the bathroom.
“Has anybody seen my body? I can’t find my body! Could somebody check in the kitchen?”
Otto lowered his arms, slightly embarrassed.. “It’s..... it’s our day off.”
Huerta sighed. “Listen, Otto, I’ve told you over and over. After the Spanish class. When you guys formed your team. After we got back from Antarctic.. We are not a superhero team. I work for Vanguard as a psychologist, counseling its employees. Blackwulf is the weight trainer. Michael and Johnny are...... well, Michael and Johnny. This illusion that you have of us being some sort of team is all fantasy.”
“That’s a lie and you know it!” Otto protested. “Anniakin saw you guys fighting hell spawn in the cemetery last Halloween.”
“It could have been someone else,” Head-Fall-Off Boy called out from beneath the couch. “It was pretty dark. And the Frankenstein mask did block my vision. And I was behind a tree. And...”
“Ok, enough! I get it!”
“Otto,” Huerta said in a friendly and sincere tone that he had been taught in Grad school, “do you want to know what I did .yesterday? I spent forty-five minutes listening to someone go on about fish sticks and their greater purpose in society. Johnny washed and waxed the Stormloader. Michael was turned into a workhorse and made to carry around shopping bags all over Mibela. And Blackwulf.....” Huerta and Otto looked over to see the purple giant relieving himself onto the rock face of the volcano in which Otto’s home bore into. “Well, he was being Blackwulf. Does any of this sound exciting at all?”
Otto looked back at the doctor with a rigid look carved on his face. “The fact that you would come all the way out here only to lie to me is unbearable.” Otto paused, as if pondering something, for a moment. He reached into his fur and pulled out a tape recorder. With a click of a button, he spoke into it, “Possible catch phrase number 134: ‘It’s unbearable,’ with over accentuation on the bear.” With another click he returned the recorder. “You guys are always hanging around each other. Thick as thieves, you are. And why would everyone else call you the B-Team if you were not in fact a team?”
“Because it’s a joke,” Huerta replied, a look of weariness crossing his face. “It’s like when you nickname a bald guy Curly or a fat guy Slim. And the reason we’re always together is because they are my patients. I’m their psychologist. They can’t be left alone for two minutes by themselves. See?”
Huerta pointed to Johnny and Luchadore. Johnny was holding a large shell up to Luchadore’s outstretched tongue. A crab claws jumped out of the shell and clamped down on the masked man’s tongue. Mike began to scream and run around. Johnny laughed until his arm caught on fire and joined Luchie in his dance of pain.
“Is that what you want to be around every day, all day?” Huerta asked the bear.
Drag-Racer stepped out of the cave in a blue miniskirt with flashing red lights around the seam. “Does this make me look fat?” Otto and Huerta only stared at him. “Fine! I’d like to see you find a dress to match these shoes.” He pointed down to his high heel with the toe that curled up into a point and dangled a bell above the center of the foot. The other men still just stared. “Pffft. What do you know about fashion. I guess I’ll just have to go change.” He turned around and went back into the cave.
