RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Writer's Block JLR: The Convention Adventure

(The members of JLR are lying about the Barnyard of Justice, wondering if Chant is still alive, how long prison bars will hold Mr. Misinformation, and what Buttercup ate for dinner.....)

DLD- Open a window! That is DEE-Sgusting!

Buttercup-

yNW- My focus during meditation is undaunted.......but I'm sorry, I have to stop. That is rancid, Buttercup. For shame on you!

La Machine- Okay, mail guys.

(Everyone huddles around)

La machine- Cowgirl?

CJ- Here.

This came for you. I think it's those rocket spurs you ordered a week ago.

CJ- Sweet. Buttercup, you eat those oats again, I'll try these out on you.

LM- Ace?

Ace- Yeah.

LM- WOW!!! Congratulations!! You just won a million dollars!!

Ace- Nonono.

LM- That's amazing! What are you gonna do? Go on a cruise or something?

Ace- No, Machine...

LM- Maybe you can fix this dump up here...

Ace- Machine. It's a scam. It's not real.

LM-.......well why would you say that? It says it right here in pink letters you won a million dollars.

Ace- It's a money scam. Junk mail.

LM- ........I see the problem......... I think someone is selling himself short because he doesn't think he DESERVES the money. Hey, chin up there little guy. Good things happen to good people.

Ace-..............It's like talking to a fire hydrant. (snatches letter)

Brit- La Machine. What's that last letter there?

LM- uhhhh (opens it) whoa. uhhh. This is all Greek to me.

Brit- What's it say?

LM- Something about.....a convention......."meeting of the heroes.........pitting team against team........" something about a JuuuLahhh?

Brit- A what?

LM- A Julah? I think?

Ace- Maybe it would help to read it right side up.

LM- Shut up, dick! It is. It says we can meet teams including the very popular Julah. Look it's spelled j-l-a.

(Everyone else) JLA!!!!!

DLD- Give me that!!! (snatches letter) We have all been invited to attend a super-team convention! There's gonna be a contest in Santa Monica....Avengers, JLA, JSA, Outsiders, Authority...tons of superteams facing up against each other in a contest for charity!

LM- Kinda like celebrities on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire??? I love Regis!

Ace- (hands him a puzzle) Go play with this.

LM (walking away; to himself)- "Izzatcha final ansahh!"

Brit- Do you guys realize what this means??? We have a chance to make the big leagues! Well, what are we waiting for? Pack up!!

Everybody-

We interrupt this thread to bring you a message from one of your six moderators...

Hey, guys! Hope you're enjoying your stay here at Hero HQ v. 2.0! If there's anything that can be done to make your stay more pleasant... talk to Rob.

At any rate, I'm assuming that since you opened up a new thread that it was safe to close out your last story. If this isn't the case and you want it reopened, stop by the current Hero Revolution talk thread (should have [Hero] somewhere in the thread title) and let myself or one of the other mods know that you want it opened. Also, when you come to the end, just let one of us know and we can close your threads out if you want. It's not essential, but it helps provide closure, if you know what I mean...

That having been said, we hope you're having fun posting here and, on behalf of the others, thanks for joining us! This board gets kinda lonely sometimes and it's nice to have two groups hanging around as opposed to just one...

~ Chewy Walrus

Yeah Chewy Walrus, I don't see anyone having a problem with it. Thanks for the warning.

Well, its official. La Machine posted the topic, so he gets to be leader this time. He's holding the reins now.

Get it? Get it? Reins...barn...hahahaha!

Now as your secretary, I have to remind you all to please sign in your hours by Friday at 3 pm or I cannot log it into the computer. Just to let you know.

Also, someone moved my rocket spurs. Shame on you.

Moving on...

Back at the Farmhouse of Justice, Cowgirl Jack was scrambaling to stuff all her clothes into a single suitcase.

"Oh, a convention...now I can show my true potential!"

Ace and Nightwing were watching, just shaking their heads. "Can you really fit all that into one suitcase?"

"Yeah, and how many pairs of shoes can one woman wear?" Jackie gives Ace the Don't-question-my-sense-of-fashion-or-praticallity-or-common-sense look. "Right. Forget what I said. I think you're missing a pair."

"Oh yeah. The new rocket spured ones."

Nightwing hands the shoebox to Cowgirl Jack. "Really, what do these rocket-spured boots do?"

"I don't know."

"What?"

"They were on sale. So I bought them. Why?"

Nightwing groans. "Oh boy..."

Britannica and La Machine pass by Jackie's room, carrying their own luggage. "Uh, CJ, we're just going to Santa Monica for the weekend...not a five-month Euopean vacation."

"Yeah, that's why I packed light."

"That's light? What's heavy?"

DLD, RM 552, and Wednesday come upstairs to investigate the noise. DLD is rereading the letter. "This is great. Now we won't be second-rate heroes any more."

"Yeah," says Wednesday. "Imagine the women we can get."

"Don't let Jackie catch you saying that--"

"Don't catch me hearing what?"

"Dang," says RM 552. "The suitcase isn't going to make it, Jack. Maybe you should lighten the load."

"What is up with you guys and my packing abilities? Look, I only packed the essentials, okay? I do not need a bunch of guys with a barn for an HQ telling me how to pack--" And just to show how right she is, Jackie grabs her luggage and storms out the room.

"Well guys, let's finish packing and loading everything up, we should leave in about an hour--"

BAM!

The JLR rush to see Jackie at the foot of the stairs. The luggage had busted open and the contents were scattered all over the stairs and hallway.

"Oh, can someone give me a hand here..."

[ 01-24-2003, 12:16 AM: Message edited by: Cowgirl Jack ]

Here you go Jackie. ::Ace starts helping Jackie pick up her things::

Ace- Hey guys I was thinking. Are we sure we can afford this trip? I mean after having to blow $2500 to get the fire department to cut La Machine out of that slide I’m not sure we can.

La Machine- Don’t worry guys that lawsuit against Pirate Pete’s is coming along. Soon we’ll be rolling in cash. That slide was way to small for someone to fit down.

Ace-Maybe someone your age….

Cowgirl Jack-Yeah didn’t you read the sign? It said for ages 3 through 10

LM-

Dun like Dinner- Well we'll find some way to get there. This is the chance of a lifetime.

Ace- Well then I guess this work in the attic will just have to wait till we get back. That place was creeping me out anyways. Buncha spooky noises.

[ 01-22-2003, 10:09 PM: Message edited by: Ace ]

AGW: Speaking of gettin' there, I have a question...

Everyone else:

AGW: Well, we're the JLR, right?

Ace: Right.

AGW: And that stands for the "Justice League Reality" right?

Cowgirl Jack: Right.

AGW: And the JSA, JLA, Avengers, blah, blah, blah are comic book characters, right?

La Machine: Right.

AGW: So how are real superheroes supposed to go to a convention with imaginary superheroes?

JLR:

Brit (coming up the stairs): Well, funny you should ask. All of the teams are capable of inter-dimensional transport, especially after the Marvel vs. DC and the introduction of hypertime. Thanks to the wonder of the modern day crossover, everyone can meet!

The rest of the JLR: Ohhhhhhh....

Ace: But what about us? Chant's got the only inter-dimensional teleporter in this universe.

Brit (pulling out the letter): Well, the convention takes place in reality, so all we need to do is get a plane, bus, or whatever there.

The rest of the JLR: "Ohhhhhhh again....."

AGW: So how are we gonna get there without money, oh fearless leader?

JLR:

AGW: I was talking to Machine.

JLR:

La Machine (takes the paper from Brit): Well, funny you should ask. We'll just...

To be continued

[ 01-23-2003, 06:50 AM: Message edited by: AGW ]

...have to sell Jackie off. Wednesday, don't accept less than fifty dollars for her."

"WHAT?"

"Kidding, kidding. We'll just have to find some way to get from the farm to California."

CJ shruggs. "Sorry guys. Don't have a car."

Ace shakes his head. "I'm just a broke kid."

RM and Britannica nod sadly. Dun Like Dinner mummbles in a low voice. "I've got a jet..."

All the JLR turn to the Janitor. "What..."

DND rolls his eyes. "Its nothing too big or anything. But, you know, we can fit our luggage and ourselves in there."

La Machine whispers to Nightwing. "How is it that a janitor can give us a whole bunch of money and a plane?"

"Maybe his dad's got money?"

AGW: So we've decided that I can't sell her?

LM: We don't need to sell her, we've got a check. Haven't you been paying attention?

AGW: What if I can get $100 for her?

LM looks over to Ace...

Ace: NO WE'RE NOT GOING TO SELL.... Did you say $100?

RM552: I'll give you two-hundred-fift....

Cowgirl Jack:

RM552: *cough* Um, I think I'll finish packing....

Ace: RM552, I don't think you understand. If we were to sell Jackie...

CJ:

Ace: .... which we're not, of course But if we were, we'd do it to get money to....HEY!! Waitaminnit!! I thought you didn't have any money?

RM552: Well... y'know a guy's got to prioritize his income, right? Anyhow, DLD's got a jet so the whole thing's kinda moot, right?..... I think I'll finish packing now....

[ 01-23-2003, 05:53 PM: Message edited by: Registered Member #552 ]

Clothes, Food, books on the past battles of the other participants...yeah, I think I'm packed.

At the JLR Runway (really just some pasture land east of the barn...)

"Ow! You stepped on my foot!"

Cowgirl Jack lifts her boot from RM 552's foot. "I'd like to say that was accidental, but I'd be lying."

"So, you didn't like that auction comments?"

"What do you think?"

"Right..."

"CJ! RM 552!" shouts La Machine. "Come on, the rest of us our loaded onto the plane. We're going to leave without you!"

After the JLR plane, the 'Wayward Duck', is en route to Santa Monica...

"Okay, you guys can turn on your CD players and Games Boys now," shouts DND from the cockpit. La Machine acts as co-pilot.

"I think we're going the wrong way, Dun."

"You're holding the map the wrong way."

"Oh."

Wednesday's sitting next to Cowgirl Jack. "Having fun yet?"

"Ogh...I hate flying...Maybe I'll just read..."

"Sounds like a plan. What is that you're reading?"

"It's called 'Comics for Dummies.'"

"Why?"

"Ah..." Cowgirl Jack looks embaressed. "Well, I've only been into comics for a few months now...so I'm a little confused."

"With what?"

"Okay, let me get this straight...there's more than one Green Lanturn?"

"Oh dear..."

"But there's still one Batman. What's up with that? And Captian Marvel...he's not owned by Marvel, is he?"

"No."

"Ah. And this whole Earth-1 and Earth-2...I don't get it."

"I believe you."

"And Zero-Hour..."

Wednesday shouts to the cockpit. "Ahoy, La Machine! How long is this flight?"

"Assuming we know the way to California? About seven hours."

"Good." Wednesday leans back in his chair. "It might give me enough time to explain the Lanturns..."

***Off topic***

You laugh at all this but it's mostly true.

RM- Okay I only have two-thirty five on me but-

CJ- Deal was 250$

RM- C'mon you know I'm good for it

CJ-Nope

RM-Grr COMEON! I had to eat lunch didn't I??

Brit- This is not good.

LM- Yeah I know, CJ should at least consult her pimp before making any decisions regarding-

Brit- No. I was talking about our money problem.

LM- Oh yeah that. Hey lemme ask you something, wise sage. If you were still the leader, what would you do?

Brit- Well, young jedi.

LM- Young what?

Brit- Jedi.

LM- uhhh actually I'm Catholic but I do get that a lot.

Brit- No it's from- never mind, never mind. Machine if I was you, which I drop to my knees and thank God that I'm not every morning I get out of bed, I would search your mind for a glimpse from any of our previous adventures......anything at all.

LM- ............hmmmm.....I don't know. Alls I can recall is playing with a bell and stomach aches from Greek food.
(La Machine looks at Registered Member)
Think I got an idea.
Hey Dun!! Dun! DUN!

DLD- Machine. I'm sitting next to you. You don't have to shout.

LM- Oh. Hey y'know how your broom closet turned into a doorway to doesn'treallyexista?

DLD- Yeah, took me weeks to figure out where all the Mr. Clean went.

LM- Don't suppose you have a broom closet on this plane, do you?

DLD- Are you kidding? First thing I had installed. It's right over there.

LM- Nice. Be right back.

(La Machine enters the broom closet. Comes back a minute later with five bags of currency)

AGW- Whoa!

RM- Where did you get all that!?

LM- Snuck into your alternate's throne room while he was on the john. This should last a couple weeks.

Brit- Well done, my young apprentice.

LM- What you want to print?

Brit- You-.............never mind.

::RM552 turns around in his seat to face Cowgirl Jack, who is sitting behind him::

RM552: Listen Jackie -- I'm real sorry about my comments earlier, okay? They were crude, offensive, and just plain un-gentlemanly. So, do you forgive me? Hmm? Pwetty pwease wid sugar on top?

::Cowgirl Jack closes her 330-page hardback edition of "Comics For Dummies" -- and back-hands RM552 with it, causing him to fall into the aisle::

RM552[after regaining consciousness]: So.... I take that as a "No", then?

[ 01-24-2003, 03:46 AM: Message edited by: Registered Member #552 ]

CJ: So Alan Scott is still a Green Lantern... sorta.

AGW: Right.

CJ: But he's called Sentinel now.

AGW: Right.

CJ: And Guy Gardner isn't a Green Lantern anymore?

AGW: Right.

AGW flips to the next page of "Comics for Dummies": Then there's this guy, John Stewart.

CJ: Whoa! He looks just like you.

AGW: Yeah, I get that a lot . It's the avatar.

RM: Okay, $234.37. That's my final offer.

CJ: I told you-- Wait... what happened to the other sixty-three cents?

RM: Well, I needed a can of soda from the machine to wash down lunch.

Ace: This jet's got a soda machine?

CJ: And it cost 63 cents?

RM: Inflation

CJ: Look, I'm not gonna...

AGW (holds up one hand): I'll handle this. [AGW pulls out a calculator and punches in some numbers] Well, after my pimp fee, recording fee, origination fee, finder's fee, and lunch-plus-soda-money fee (a man's gotta eat), you end up with $25.72. What'dya think?

CJ closes her hardback and back hands AGW with it, causing him to fall into the aisle.

AGW: What'd I say?

yNW: I think it had something to do with the fees. In any case, I've gone over the data I got from Wizard

LM: You have a contact named Wizard?

yNW:...No. Wizard as in "the comics magazine."
LM: Oh.

yNW: In any case, there was an article published in the January 2001 placing eleven teams in a tournament scenario.

Brit: The teams?

yNW: The New Teen Titans, Masters of Evil, X-Men, JSA, Legion of Super-Heroes, Fantastic Four, Defenders, Avengers, JLA and The Authority. That's the order the teams finished in going from last to first, by the way.

AGW: It's not exactly an objective source of information.

yNW: True. But it's still food for thought. I'll go over the updated team rosters before I do some training.

AGW: Training? In a plane?

yNW: With virtually zero risk of damage.

Brit: How...?

yNW: I have my ways.

[ 01-24-2003, 09:54 PM: Message edited by: (young) Nightwing ]

At the Convention in California a huge gathering of superheroes is taking place!!! or is there???

Chant: Now listen my loyal supressed underlings, I want all the teams to be correct, that means that you must all be with the ones that belong to your teams.....I know the costumes are little tight and.....Hey, you with the hammer, yes you "Thor", you are not with the JSA, you are with the Avengers....LOOK, I know you are just Evil postal worker minion types, but can you at least try to act like heroes, the JLR is going to be here any time soon and I want the trap to be perfect.....I did´nt go through all this trouble of capturing the real superteams just so you can mess it all up!!!

Evil postal worker minion types: Yessir postmaster Chief!!!!

Chant: That´s good, Now, I want The Fantastic Four to stay the at the hotel over there, that means Mr. Fantastic, Thing, Human Torch and Invisible Woman.....

Invisible Woman: How come I get to be the woman???

Chant: because you look like her the most Jeff, you know, with the beard and all!!!
And I want the Avengers at the Bar over there.....Ironman, is that paper armour holding together???
The JLA over there...aaaannnddd.....The X-men in the basement.......Whom am I missing???....Oh yes.....Defenders at the Library and JSA at the townhall.....The legion should be at the auto chop shop...and the.....Wildcats?????......You can be at the dogkennel....get it???? WildCATS...DOGkennel????
Teen Titans should be at the Kindergarten and Alpha Flight at the Museum....Is that all???? Great, now all we have to do is wait for the JLR....

Bill Clinton: You sure you want to do this Chant???

Chant: Shut up Billyboy or I´ll have dressed up as catwoman!!!!

BC: ehhhhh!!

Chant: Good, real good, maybe I´ll have dressed up anyway!!!....I know that you had George Bush elected President to suit your own needs, I know he is working for you, so don´t be insolent little man, Or I will tell everyone about you affair with that Lewinsky lady!!!

BC: A little to late for that, everybody knows that allready!!!

Chant: ohhhh!!....Well, anyhoo, just be quit!!!

Narrator: Will The JLR realize the trap, Is Bill Clinton really an evil Mastermind and does Jeff with the beard really look like Invisible Woman??

Read more some other time!!!

This is mostly off Topic, but I wondered about these interdimensional wormholes that seem to pop once in while, are they only inside broomclosets, or do they just appear randomly???

I think it is something the moderator should decide, he is the omnipotent being known as "The Moderator" afterall!!!!!

Anyhoo, as soon as the heroes land in california Chants trap springs to ensnare the unknowing heroes!!!!
They walk to their doom, or at least a fate worse that death, and should they try to escape, they will suffer even worse!!!!

WOW, a fate worse than a fate worse than death, sounds prrrretty bad!!!!

Off Topic:

aaaaa, we don't need a rule for them. It's the randomness of the wormholes I like the most.

That's just my opinion.

So, if I jump through the eye of a needle I get teleported to, like Jupiter or something???

Did´nt Britannica live in Australia, they got a lot of forest fires down there at the moment, hope it´s nothing to do with that!!

"Dun, do you know how to land this plane?"

"Shut up LM, and stop biting your nails. The runway's up ahead."

In the back of the plane, an arguement can be overheard.

"Alan Scott rules!"

"Kyle beats all of their asses!"

"G'nort rocks!"

"G'NORT?"

"Okay, why don't we let CJ settle this one? She probably has the most unbiased opinion since she just learned about them all."

"John Stewart."

The fight continues...

***Off Topic***

Hey guys! Thanks for whoever voted for me for the contest on the "Women" catergory. I'm only four votes short of being in first place. And since there are more than four of you guys on this thread...well, don't forget to vote.

**Off Topic**

I voted for you too CJ! But you should know Kimi came in a close second. If you want to stay in the lead you're going to have to start sucking up to me a whole lot more.

And the race continues...Stareena in the lead with 8 votes...followed by Cowgirl Jack with 6 votes...and Kimi in third with 3...

We're catching up guys! RM552, I can't get Harpy to vote either (ungrateful b!tch). I think you have toget past the 'newbie' level.

What's so funny is that I just found out the contest this morning. It would rock if I won.

Okay, Ace, I'll start sucking up more. "Ahem. Ace is the strongest, toughest, and smartest member of the JLR (not like the last part was a big deal)..."

Maybe it would just be easier if I have another catfight.

********OFFTOPIC********

Hey CJ. With my vote, ur one away from being tied for first!!

DLD

In an attempt to get back on topic...

"La Machine, for crying out loud! Let me fly it!"

"You flew the rest of the way! I want to land the plane!"

"Over my dead body!"

Cowgirl Jack drops her book and clutches the arm rest. "I-I-I-I don't l-l-l-l-l-like this p-p-p-p-p-part!" She rushes towards the restroom. It's occupied. "Let me in, I'm gonna be sick!"

"Hold on a minute!"

"For crying out loud, Nightwing! I'm going to be sick!"

"Jackie, I can land this plane in a minute if La Machine will just let go of the controls."

Cowgirl Jack walks toward the cockpit. She grabs La Machine by the ear and pulls him out. "Thanks, CJ."

On the ground...

"Jackie, why are you kissing the ground?"

"It feels good. I hate flying." She gets up and looks around. "Never been to California before. Let me see what they have here..." Cowgirl Jack pulls out a brochure. "There's the Museum of Fine Arts, the Museum of History--"

"Disneyworld!"

"Yeah!" shouts most of the JLR.

Wednesday and CJ shrug. "Whatever."

Ace turns to Wednesday. "You don't like Disneyworld?"

"I'm from Miami! It's not that far away from Disneyworld."

Cowgirl Jack nods in agreement. "Yeah, MGM Studios is just a day trip for me. Besides, we need to head to the hotel."

"Motel."

CJ turns to La Machine. "What?"

"I booked the place to stay. It's called 'Hard Nights Motel.'"

"Hard Nights Motel? Next time, I make the reservations."

[ 01-27-2003, 11:02 AM: Message edited by: Cowgirl Jack ]

LM sits in the front passenger seat of the taxi while La Machine, RM 552, CJ, young (Nightwing), and the other members of the JLR are all packed in the back...

552: Why does LM get to sit in the front again?

y(N): I was meditating on that very question myself. I could get more training done if Wednesday were not sitting on my lap.

AGW:

Ace: LM is the team leader, remember?

AGW: So ?

LM: The team leader's always in front. Think about it. When's the last time you saw a super-hero team posing with the leader in the back?

JLR: ...

LM: Well, this team's gonna have to start thinking more like a real superheroe team and less like a bunch of little children living in a barn if we're ever gonna--

CJ: LM, RM 552 pushed me !

552 (sticks his head out between AGW and DLD): It wasn't me! I'm all the way over here .

AGW: .

young (Nightwing): I could've flown .

Brit: Buckle up, chum. The group that stays together.... well... stays together.

DLD: I hope my mop's ok. It's not used to being away from the barn for this long!

JLR:

LM: What's that smell?

CJ: What sme-- Oh, that's horrible!

JLR: Ewwwwwww

Larry, the taxi cab driver:

[ 09-15-2003, 01:21 PM: Message edited by: Wednesday ]

The JLR finally reach the Hardnight Hotel. They escape from Larry's Taxi Cab, gasping for breath.

Ace: Jeez, I thought we were battling Toxic Bob again for a moment.

DLD: Could have been worse. Could have been Buttercup.

CJ: That's why we didn't bring him.

Brit: Excuse me, one moment please? [Britannica runs into a phone booth, opens up an inter-dimensional portal and disappears]

LM & AGW: Where's he off too then?

[Britannica reappears and walks over to the rest of the Team]

Brit: Sorry about that everyone, just had to vote. Jackie, you will be pleased to note you are now in the lead, with 33% of the vote. Congratulations! :)

I also thought our reading was too DC Universe orientated, so I brought my collection of Marvel Universe - the encyclopedia of nearly every major Super Hero, Villian & Team in the Marvel Universe. [Britannica starts handing out issues to everyone]

After we check in, lets meet by the pool. We have some serious training to do if we are going win this tournament!!!

JLR Assemble!!

Ace: Hey that's my job

Brit: Oops, sorry. Force of habit. . .

Ace: ok then. JLR Assemble!!! in the lobby

[ 01-28-2003, 02:51 PM: Message edited by: Britannica ]

**** off topic ****

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the concern, but I am not near any fires (probably the only place that isn't affected at the moment).

Been really busy at work and getting ready for a University residential school in Wagga Wagga (which is affected by fires ), which I leave for today. If I get a chance, I'll try and log on at Uni.

Cheers,

Britannica

***Off Topic***

Hey, Britannica! Glad to see that the fires didn't affect you!

And all of you were sweeties for voting (give all the JLR--animals excluded--a peck on the check).

Meanwhile, at the Hard Nights Motel...

"Pool closed?"

"The jerks."

"Fine. Let's just get some shut-eye."

"Uh, La Machine," says Ace, "why did the owner only give us one key?"

"I only reserved one room. What, do I look like I'm rolling in dough?"

PUNCH!

Both DND and Ace punch La Machine in the face. "Well, someone had to knock his lights out."

In room 66 on floor 6...

"Okay," says Wednesday. "When La Machine wakes up, I'm going to kill him."

"At least there are two beds."

"Two twin-sized bed, Nightwing."

Cowgirl Jack doesn't waste a moment. She jumps onto the bed closest to the window. "Uh, right, all the girls on this bed, all the guys on the other!"

"That's not fair, Jackie! You're the only girl!"

"Come on, guys," shouts Britannica. "Be nice. We can manage this! Lights out in a half hour."

Darkness falls...

The male JLR members are all squeezed in the twin bed like a bunch of sardines. From left to right: Nightwing, La Machine, Wednesday, DND, Britannica, RM 552, and Ace.

Everyone but Cowgirl Jack are still awake. La Machine begins swearing. "That's so not fair of her! The whole bed to herself. She can jolly well share it with someone."

"LM, she'll kick your rear."

"I don't care! I'm going to get some sleep!"

La Machine crushes Nightwing while climbing over to the second bed. The rest of the guys lean foreward, trying to see LM in the darkness...

BANG!

"EWOOOW! She shot my foot!"

"Shot at your foot, jerk. I alway sleep with a weapon under the pillow. You think they call me Cowgirl Jack because of the boots?"

Later that night...

The JLR are finally drifting to sleep, when...

SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

"Ow!" "What was that?" "That hurt!" "What's going on?" "Ouch!" "My head!" "Jackie, what are you doing?"

"Someone got into the other bed. Whoever it was tickled my leg. I'm going to kill you for this one. Come on, 'fess up. Which one of you did it?"

"Not me!" "Ditto!" "I didn't do it." "Neither did I." "It wasn't me." "I was here the entire time." "I was asleep."

"Oh. Well. I'll just...head back to bed..."

Still later that night...

La Machine elbows Nightwing.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"You just tickled my leg."

"What?"

On the other side of the bed, Rm 552 wake Ace and Britannica up. "There's something at the foor at the bed..."

Brittanica and La Machine wake up Wednesday and DND. Wednesday can be heard mumbling. "It's too early..."

Cowgirl Jack yelps and jumps in her bed. "Someone just...bit my toe?"

"Someone get the light on!"

Cowgirl Jack feels for the lamp on her nightstand. "Let's see whose causing all the trouble."

The lights illuminate over two dozen small collections of squeeky fur scampering about on the two beds.

"AH! MICE!"

[ 01-28-2003, 10:40 PM: Message edited by: Cowgirl Jack ]

DLD- Mice, HA!!!!!! I'll take care of this!!

Dun Like Dinner steam-rolls over AGW and onto the floor.

LM- (Screaming like a little girl) OMG THEY"RE IN MY HAIR!!!


DLD reaches into the recently installed broom closet and pulls out THE BROOM OF JUSTICE

LM-(Still screaming like a little girl) RABIES!!! RABIES!!!

With a swift sweep of the broom, the mice are knocked off La Machine's head and out of the room.

JLR'ers look at a crying La Machine

CJ- That isn't very masculine.

[ 01-28-2003, 11:35 PM: Message edited by: dun_like_dinner ]

The following morning, the bleary-eyed JLR are in the conference/meeting room. The wall-paper is an old faded 1970's floral pattern and falling off the walls. There is something green (and glowing) in one of the corners, which our heroes have wisely decided to leave well alone. OK, La Machine needed to be told a few time not to poke it with a stick. . .

The Team are discussing tactics for the upcoming tournament. Ace is standing in front of a whiteboard, lists, diagrams and arrows all over the place. . .

Ace: Right! Lets move onto the X-Men. What are our match-ups going to be? I'll take on Rogue.

LM: I want Dazzler. [Everyone looks at La Machine. La Machine looks at everyone] What? I've got all her records.

(y)NW: Storm

AGW: Damn Hang on! I'll have a go at Stacey X

RM552: White Queen.

Ace: Are you sure? She seems pretty mean. . .

RM552: Who better to take on a Queen, than a King?

Ace [turns to write on the board, and speaks under his breath]: Well, she's not really a Queen, but then I guess you're not really a King. . .

RM552: Hey I've got enhanced hearing remember!

Brit: Phoenix, please.

DLD: umm. . . Shadowcat, thank you.

Ace: Right, that leaves Cyclops, Iceman, Archangel, Beast, Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Chamber, Xorn, Thunderbird, Bishop & Cable for Jackie.

CJ: Guys!

Ace: Not now, Jackie. We're discussing tactics!

JLR [lots of]: shhhh's. . . Jackiiieeee's. . . come on this is important's. . . etc.

Ace: OK, next is the Avengers. . .

LM [sticks up hand very quickly]: She-Hulk! She-Hulk!!

Ace: OK, OK

AGW: Photon, the hero formally known as Captain Marvel.

LM: What, the Marvel Kree alien one or the DC Shazam, one?

AGW: No fool! [whacks LM over the back of the head] The black-chick who transforms into energy and who can do stuff at the speed of light.

LM: Finally found someone who can to operate at your speed, huh?

AGW: Damn riiiii. . . Hey!

JLR: Tee Hee's. . . Ha Ha's. . . chortle's. . . etc.

Ace: OK AGW goes for Photon, done.

DLD: Sorry, I'm still thinking.

Ace: Sorry? Nevermind. Who's next?

Brit: Scarlet Witch, if you don't mind?

(y)NW: Warbird.

RM552: Black Widow.

DLD: I've got it. Wasp, please.

Ace: Let's see, I'll go Tigra. So that leaves Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Yellow Jacket, Falcon, Ant Man, Jack-of-Hearts, Quicksilver, Hercules, Black Panther, Vision and Black Knight for Cowgirl Jack.

CW: How many time's do I have to say it. This is stupid!

Ace: Jackie, I'm not going to tell you again! We're nearly finished.

CJ: Your funeral, pal!

Ace: Right, last but not least, the JLA. Who wants to take on. . .

LM, AGW & RM552 [hands shoot up!!!]: WONDER WOMAN!!!!!

Ace: OK, RM552 gets Wonder Woman.

RM552: YES!

LM & AGW: Hey! No fair!. . . Why should he. . . etc.

Ace: Look, La Machine, you've got She-Hulk with the Avengers. AGW, it's just not going to happen. She would whip your ass.

LM: OK, Big Barda.

AGW: nothing wrong with being whiped by Wonder Woman. . .

(y)NW: Huntress would be an interesting match-up.

Brit: Oracle, deffinately Oracle.

DLD: Faith, please.

Ace: Zatanna for me. OK AGW?

AGW: hmmmm. . . I've got it! Fire and Ice Maiden!

JLR:

AGW: What? You can't break up a great pair like that.

Ace: Okaaaay, so that leaves Superman, Batman, Flash, Green Lantern (Kyle, John Stewart and G'nort), Aquaman, Plastic Man, Steel, Atom, Firestorm, Green Arrow, Major Disaster and Martian Manhunter for Jackie.

[Ace finishes writing up the list.]

Ace: So now that we have sorted out the Saturday night tournament dinner party, lets start thinking about the battles!

CJ: Finally!!

Britannica [turns to DLD]: So why did you insist on the Invisible Woman?

DLD: Are you kidding? Superhero Mom and housewife. We could trade cleaning tips all night.

[ 01-29-2003, 07:24 PM: Message edited by: Britannica ]

That was mean, Britannica.

You do realize that instead of studying I will be online for the next 48 hours try to figure out all these guys' weakness? Let's see...I have to fight 37 superheroes. I've heard of twenty of them. I know about ten of them well (and that's just from Saturday morning cartoons and the movies, so I know half of the stuff I know is useless ).



Right, if anyone needs, me, I'll be doing a bit of light reading. Picks up Comics for Dummies and proceeds to reread Chapter One: So You Want to be a Superhero?

Hmmm...I get to fight Batman. Well, with enough planning, I might defeat him... :) [/QB][/QUOTE]

**** off topic (again) ****

Fear not, young maiden.

That was only the dating allocations for the Saturday night tournament dinner, when all Superheroes put aside their differences, let their capes down and par-tay! :)

And with your status as number one gal on the Rob Kamphausen message boards, you'll be beating off all those established Super-males with a stick.

We still have no battle plans for the actual tournament battles.

Nothing new there then

However, I have to fly to attend by first Residential School lecture. Wagga is a very hot 43 degrees c and windy and dusty. No fire thank goodness, but lots of dust. Did I mention dust?

Brit

[ 01-29-2003, 09:41 PM: Message edited by: Britannica ]

Kenyon Martin had 21 rebounds tonight.

......Strength........ is........ returning.........

you do realize Jackie, that you will have to add Bill Clinton to that list too!!!

Anyhoo, As the heroes prepare for the dinner Chant rethinks his grand plan, something is missing, someone should bring in the supervillain teams!!!

Chant: I know, I´ve got an interdimensional transporter, I´ll bring in the Sinister Six, the Frightful Four, Doc Doom and Magneto, that should do, let´s forget about moleman, he sucks!!!

This means that I´ve got a lot of Evil Postal worker minion types dressed as superheroes and a lot of supervillains fighting against the JLR, they don´t stand a chance.
Heck, even Jeff with the beard is starting to look a little like invisible Woman, if only he would shave off that beard!!!

Bill Clinton: Don´t forget the villains from the DCU, you know, the Joker!!!

Chant: To cliché

Bill Clinton: Bane??

Chant: To boring!!

Bill: Lex Luthor??

Chant: Too smart for his own damn good!!!

Bill: ehhh....Doomsday

Chant: Too dead!!

Bill: well, who else is there???

Chant: I know, the penguin!!!

Bill: The penguin??? are you sure about this?? I mean, come on!!!!!!...THE PENGUIN, that guy could´nt even defeat the Batman!!!

Chant: could you???

Bill: Just did so five minutes ago!!, beat him up and threw him into oblivion.......well, into the closet under the stairs anyway!!!

Jeff with the beard: Same thing!

Chant: Shut up Jeff and shave off that beard!!!

Jeff: Will not!!!

At the hotel the JLR are getting ready to call a cab to take them to the restaurent

AGW: Now remember kids, behave and you will get desert!!!

Ace: And that should come from you, it was you who tickled Jackie tonight!!!

Jackie: WHAT, IT WAS YOU????

AGW:

AGW looks at ACE with daggers in his eyes!!!

AGW:

Brit: Now now, no fighting, this is a decent hotel....Wait, that would be Motel!!!

Jackie: Come back here AGW, I´m gonna kick your arse!!!

DLD: Why jackie, you sound more British day by day, soon you will be saying "Oh dear my" and drinking tea!!!

Britannica: Do you think she is suffering from BABS???

Jackie: BABS????

DLD: British Accent and Behaviour Syndrome......WAITAMINNIT!!!!....THAT SYNDROME IS HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS!!!!!

JLR: RUN FOR IT BEFORE SHE INFECTS US!!!!

Jackie:

Will the JLR get away from Jackie in time, Will Jackie be cured from the horrible disease and will Jeff ever shave???

Read more some other time!!!!

CJ: I dare say, come back chums!

JLR: Aaaah

Ace: Wednesday, it's Thursday, didn't you get a new power yesterday?

AGW: Sho' 'nuff.

Ace: Well use it to get us outta here!

AGW: Ain't nothin' but a G-thang!

Ace (stops dead in his tracks): Why are you talking like that?

AGW: Like what, yo?

Ace: Oh no. Any Given Wednesday's got a case of Shaftness.

JLR: Shaftness?

CJ: I dare say, what is Shaftness?

Brit: Shaftness- A temporary, yet highly contagious infection resulting in the display of Shaft-like behavior and speech. He's had flashes before, but never this intense.

DLD: Teehee.

Brit: What?

DLD: Wednesday got the Shaft.