RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Writer's Block JLR: The Convention Adventure

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Narrator: The night before the Defenders battle. . .

Our hero walks past an alley-way, when suddenly. .

Alley: psssst!

[Britannica stops suddenly and looks down the alley]

Brit: I beg your pardon!?!

Alley: I said, "psssst!"!

Brit: That's what I thought you said? That's not very polite you know!

Alley: Just get in here now! Before someone sees you!

Brit: Hmmmm, This is very strange. I probably shouldn't do this. . .

[Britannica looks both ways down the main street and checks that he isn't being watched. When he is sure nobody is looking, he enters the alley!]

Brit: So who are you? Show yourself? What do you want?

Alley: Hello Britannica. I have been observing you for some time now.

Brit: Ohhh, a fan. :) Why didn’t you say so? Would you like an autograph then? [goes to grab a pen out of his pocket] Who do I make it out too?

Alley: I mean you no harm. I am Di Bat Pho!

[Di Bat Pho walks out of the shadows to reveal an oriental woman dressed in a gold shirt (with elaborate red embroidery depicting the animals of the Chinese zodiac), short black trousers, and red shoes. She wears a non la (the traditional oriental leaf hat - which obscures her eyes), secured to her head with a red silk scarf]

Brit: DE BAT FOE!?! You’re an enemy of Batman!! [Britannica drops his pen and goes for the Britannerang]

Di Bat Pho: No No! Di Bat Pho! It’s Vietnamese! Di Bat Pho in your language means “to prowl the streets”

Brit: So does that mean you are a. . .? Ohhh! um. . .? Oh! Look I really flattered but I don’t really go for that sort of thing. Maybe you would have better luck with one of my team-mates. AGW maybe?

Di Bat Pho: *crack* [the sound of Di Bat Pho giving Britannica a karate-chop]

Brit: Ow! Well that’s not going to change my mind you know! And I thought you didn’t mean me any harm?

DBP: I have come to give you a warning!

Brit: What sort of warning?

DBP: Pardon me?

Brit: Well is it one of those “I-am-from-a-post-apocalyptic-future-which-you-are-responsible-for-creating” type warning? Or “I-am-an-evil-villian’s-henceperson-and-I-am-warning-you-to-back-off-before-you-discover-my-master’s-cunning-plan” type warning?

DBP: No it is more a “the-JLR-has-been-deceived-by-the-battle-convention-organisers” type warning.

Brit: What!?! You mean we don’t have a meal allowance after all? I told La Machine to check that out. . .

DBP: No, not that. . .

Brit: The hotel room isn’t free!?!

DBP: No, you see. . .

Brit: You mean there’s no prize money!?!

DBP: Well possibly not, you see. . . there is no Super-hero battle convention!

Brit: So what have we been doing all week then?

DBP: Well, you have been fighting. . .

Brit: So there is a Super-hero battle convention?

DBP: No. You have been fighting. . . with the minions of Chant!

Brit: But hang on, Chant’s on our side now! Why would his minions be fighting us? And how did they get their extraordinary super powers?

DBP: Chant is behind this evil plan. I have been tracking his Evil-US-Postal-Worker-Type-Minions half-way around the world for weeks. But you say Chant is on your side now? When did this happen?

Brit: Well pretty much today actually. . .

DBP: Maybe it is part of her plan?

Brit: Her plan? Ohhhh! You mean She-Chant! Sorry. Well that would explain a great deal. I forgot that She-Chant is really this dimensions version of Chant, who you would know as Chant, but we call She-Chant to avoid confusion with Chant who used to be our arch-nemesis back in our original dimen. . .

*thwack* [Di Bat Pho karate kicks Britannica in the head]

Brit: Oww! Hey! For someone who doesn’t mean me any harm. . .Now I have a headache!

DBP: (that makes two of us then. . .) Sorry I thought we were going to have another backflash-in-a-backflash sequence. And I meant His plan.

Brit: Oh? But (young)Nightwing gave Chant a quick mental scan. As far as he could tell Chant seemed genuine enough.

DBP: It does not matter. Your Team is in danger! You must warn the JLR that they are not fighting real heroes. That the convention is false!

Brit: No way!

DBP: What!?!

Brit: This is perfect! Do you know how much we would have to pay to get training like this? And besides we get to beat up on those damn Evil-US-Postal-Worker-Type-Minions without destroying our headquarters for a change!

DBP:

Brit: Look, thank you very much for the warning, but we should be able to handle the Evil-US-Postal-Worker-Type-Minions, even if they are enhanced. What worries me though is Chant. Not so much if he is behind all this, but what his motives are for joining the JLR? I can keep an eye on him, but unfortunately I can’t investigate his recent movements as I’m going to have to be at the battle tomorrow.

DBP: Chant's motives trouble me also. I will look into her latest movements.

Brit: his

DBP: oh yes, his.

Brit: Great! Um… but how do I get in contact with you?

DBP: Here, take this paging device. [Di Bat Pho passes Britannica a paging device] Press this button [she indicates a button] when you need to contact me. When I have information for you I will page you. This light [she indicates a light] will flash when I need to contact you. We will meet back here one hour after a signal is sent. Agreed?

Narrator: End of the second backflash. . . . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~