Meanwhile Superfly Sr. FINALLY makes it back to the Barn of Justice (well, she WAS a calendar girl...), but not before receiving a mystery gift from Vanessa. Anyhoo, Superfly runs into the barn, only to find it recently abandoned.

Superfly Sr.: What's going on here Bob? I heard your whole convervation. Who's Harry and why does he want to take us out?!?!

The Amazing Harry: Bob it looks like you've got your first victim. Forget the weapons, they're all to messy. Why dont you just show this young man some of your southern hospitality. HA HA HA HA HA!

Tractor Trailer Bob hangs up the phone and turns his attention to Superfly.

Bob: Mr. Harry's master needs your team out of the way. He already defeated you once, he'll do it again.

Then, with an evil smirk Bob pulls a thick, flat, black band from his back jeans pocket and ties it around his head.

Superfly: [eh?]

Bob: Third degree black belt in oh-wha-ta-dor-ki-am style kung fu. Did you really think I became Harry's number one man off beer nuts alone?

Superfly: Well... I hadn't really-- Wait... what style?

Superfly's question is never answered, though, as he narrowly dodges Bob's patented Cheeseburger Kick. Before Superfly can regain his footing Bob pelts him with a Mega Grease Ball Attack to the stomach [AAAHHHH!!!] .

Superfly, down but not out, rolls with the blow and quickly returns with his own Super Pimp Slap Barrage (patent pending). Unfortunately, it's not enough to keep Bob down and he unleashes the fierce might of his Chili Dog Slam.

Nearly unconscious, Super barely hears the sound of hooves banging against the inside of the team's spare wardrobe closet. He gets an idea just before Bob comes down with a Big Gulp Shoulder [AAAHHHH!!!] to the chest, knocking Super unconscious.

One hour later...

Superfly: Uhh. What's going on?

Superfly quickly realizes his feet and hands are roped together tight (which was more than okay when Vanessa was doing it).

TTB: Good, you're finally awake. I want you to hear me tell Mr. Harry that your team's headquarters is clear for the taking.

Superfly looks at the clock, confused.

Superfly: Huh? I've been out for an hour! What the heck have you been up to all that time?

TTB: Well... I... found that X-box over there. That thing is addicting.

Superfly (to himself): Yeah, it really rots the brain.

Superfly (not to himself): Well, at least you didn't find the leftover barbecue ribs I was saving from last night.

TTB: What? Where are they?

Superfly (overdramatically): No. If I can't have this barn, you can at least leave me those nice, succulent, juicy ribs with their thick, spicy barbecue sauce.

TTB: Did you say spicy? (Eyes like fire, Bob grabs Superfly, nearly yanking him out of his binds.) Where are they?

Superfly: No! Please! They're not in that closet.

TTB (with a smile): Ah ha!

Without thinking TTB heads for the closet, opens the bolt lock, and yanks open the doors. Before he truly realizes his mistake, Bob is the victim of a very angry horse and donkey.

Minutes later, Napolean and Buttercup's teeth make easy work of Superfly's ropes.

Superfly: Good job you two (patting Napolean on the head). Playing X-box rots the brain and makes villians forget where they stashed the good guy team's pet donkey and horse, doesn't it? Yes it does!

Superfly (surveying the damage): But we're not done yet. Where's the rest of the team?

Buttercup: Neigh

Napolean: Eeyoh

Superfly: What? Timmy's stuck in a well, and he needs our help?

Napolean: Eeyoh <kick>

Superfly: Ow!

Buttercup: Neigh, neigh, neigh!

Superfly: Oh! Chant followed the double-crossing Mr. Misinformation, this universe's evil version of Britannica, and She-Chant, one of this universe's several evil versions of our Chant, to Greece, and Britannica, La Machine, Ace, DND, and RM552, armed with the knowledge that the smaller the room they teleport from the larger the resulting spacial teleportation, went after them by climbing into the broom cupboard hoping to teleport to Greece, defeat the bad guys (and girl) and hopefully find Cowgirl Jack? Not only that, but in his haste Britannica mistakenly called Cowgirl Jack "CowBOY Jack"?

Napolean (satisfied): Eeyoh.

Superfly: Who writes this stuff?

Buttercup: Neigh...

Superfly: I couldn't have timed this better if I was writing it myself. Here, eat these.

Napolean: Eeyoh <Munch, munch>

Buttercup: Neigh <Crunch, crunch>

Napolean and Napolean: <Collapse... Snore>

Superfly walks over to a battered Bob and looks him in the eye. Then, for the first time, Superfly shows his true colors...

Superfly: [mwah hwah haa] She-Chant, Mr. Misinformation, The Amazing Harry, Bundy Bear, and myself may all work for the same evil master mind, but Harry can't stop me from being the one who finally defeats the JLR once and for all [mwah hwah haa] .

TTB (barely audible): You mean you're not "The Hero Formerly Known as Any Given Wednesday"? You're not one of the good guys?

Superfly: Nope. Just another villian competing for the prize: The defeat of the JLR and the job of our master's Number One.

Just then, as if written to make this long story a little shorter, a portal opens and a man falls out. His back to the two villians, he stands up, dusts himself off, and surveys the barn.

And then he speaks...

[ 12-29-2002, 03:09 PM: Message edited by: Superfly Sr. ]