RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Writer's Block The Justice League Reality - Message Board

Meanwhile back at the National Library of Greece the ILR (Now wearing gas masks) admits Toxic Bob into their group.

Mr. Misinformation- Wait a second Bundy why are you wearing a mask, you said you were immune Bob's toxins.

Bundy- I like gas masks.

Mr. Misinformation- Rightttt

Chantyana- Say Bundy didn't you work for Klondike Bars too!

Bundy- I had an audition once but they told me I wasn't friendly enough looking

Mr. Misinformation- What'd you do

Bundy- I ate 'em. Then I took all their Klondike Bars. Why? What would you do for a klondike bar?

Toxic Bob- Well I would...

At that moment Harpy burst through the ceiling of the library with the JLR.

As the JLR land in dramatic poses in front of the ILR, Harpy circles overhead. . .

Britannica: Omigoodgrief! Toxic *cough* Bob *cough* *cough* is with them! *cough* *hack* Fall *wheeze* back . . . Britannica pulls out a hanky to cover his nose and mouth - too late!] *thud*

dun_like_dinner: I'll take out Toxic Bob [Gets a firm grip on his mighty mop, and heads towards Bob]

Ace: dun_like_dinner! No! La *cough* Machine! *cough* *cough* Leap over to the door *wheeze* and *hack* get some air *wheeze* in here! I'll *cough* handle the *hack* Bear!

La Machine [still high-pitched]: *cough* Right *cough* [leaps towards the door]

RM552: Let me handle the Amazons

La Machine: Can't. . . open. . . door. . . . *rattle**rattle* Only new found leaping abilities will save us now!

La Machine jumps high and far - Unfortunately, right on top of Toxic Bob! Fortunately, the momentum takes out both Toxic Bob and Mr. Misinformation in the fall. Both villians knocked unconscious. . .

LM: Oops! *cough* *wheeeeezzzzzzzz*

--------------------------------------------------------------------

RM552 advances on the Amazonian Librarians, but is soon overpowered by gas-mask wearing Librarians. . .

RM552:

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Bundy bear advances on dun_like_dinner. DLD whacks Bundy Bear with his mop! *thop*

BB: Hey, watch out! You could take someone's eye out with that!

DLD: Out of my way, foul Bear of Mischief! 'Tis Toxic Bob, I want!

DLD unleashes more flurries with his mop *thop* *thop* *thwack*

DLD: Yield!

BB: That's it, I warned ya! [grabs the mop off DLD] Hey how come's ya not coughing and hacking!?!

DLD: I'm the Janitor of the JLR! I've built up an immunity to chemicals!

BB: That so! Me too!

As Bundy Bear goes to whack DLD with the mop, DLD un-holsters his disinfectant spray-gun. . .

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Ace dives for the door, letting fly one of his electric ace-of-hearts towards the back of Bundy Bear. Unfortunately it is stopped mid-flight by one of Chantyana's letter bombs.

*zzaap* *booom*

Ace: Damn!

Chantyana: Yesss

Ace: Hate to do this, especially to a lady. . . but then you ain't no lady! Let's play 52-pick-up!

Ace, flicks a whole deck of cards at Chantyana, including (but not limited too) a combination of explosive, electric, concusion, razor-sharp, strobe, high-frequency, acid, flame, tar-n-feather, boxing-glove, etc. cards!

Chantyana:

*boom* *zap* *thwack* *rip* *dazzle* *eeeeeeeeeeeee* *sizzle* *burn* *sploge-n-piff* *pow* *etc*

Chantyana:

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The Narrator: Oh No! Not only is Toxic Bob's gas cloud toxic - it is flamable too! The combination of Ace's and Chantyana's explosive devices have ignited Toxic Bob's gas cloud!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ace: Oops!
DLD & BB: Uh Oh!
Harpy: Caw! Caw!
Army of Amazonian Librarians: Do we get paid enough for this?

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*

[ 12-29-2002, 01:02 AM: Message edited by: Britannica ]

(As the JLR is hurled into the skies from the explosion, DLD still mop battles Toxic Bob in mid-air, Ace and Brittanica cling to each other for dear life, and Harpy begins to pick off freefalling Librarians)

Mister Misinformation (from the ground)-My Librarians!! My babies!!!NoOO! Damn you Harpyyyy!!!!!!

Ace- Oh good sweet Christmas! What the hell are we gonna do?!

Brit- Okay! Hold on, do you still have any cards left?

Ace- Yeah a few.

Brit- See that tower a few hundred yards away? If you can aim one of your cards at a precise accuracy, then the velocity of the card would be enough to knock off one of the banners along the tower, while the resistance my cape provides will set us on a slight 10 degree trajectory change, giving us a point one-zero-eight chance of grabbing the banner and-

THWABAAM!!!!
(Ace and Brit hit the back of a tomato sauce delivery truck)

Ace-Ow.
Brit- ............hey, chunky style.

(Suddenly from the flaming inferno on the ground, emerges La Machine with Chantyana in his arms)

La Machine- WHY GOD!?? WHYYYYYY!!!?????
(Chantyana begins to wake)
Oh god, she's alive!! She's alive!!
(Chantyana looks at La Machine)
....hey there sunshine
(Chantyana knuckle-punches La Machine in the nose)

WWOOOLLFF!! AAHHH BY DOSE!! BY FUGGING DOSE!!!

(Brittanica and Ace emerge from the truck, covered in tomato sauce to see Chantyana escaping)
Ace- Look! Chantyana! She must be at half-strength from our battle.
Brit- That explains why La Machine coudn't handle her.
La M.- SHUDDUB!!
Ace- After her!!
(Ace and Brittanica go after Chantyana)

Meanwhile Superfly Sr. FINALLY makes it back to the Barn of Justice (well, she WAS a calendar girl...), but not before receiving a mystery gift from Vanessa. Anyhoo, Superfly runs into the barn, only to find it recently abandoned.

Superfly Sr.: What's going on here Bob? I heard your whole convervation. Who's Harry and why does he want to take us out?!?!

The Amazing Harry: Bob it looks like you've got your first victim. Forget the weapons, they're all to messy. Why dont you just show this young man some of your southern hospitality. HA HA HA HA HA!

Tractor Trailer Bob hangs up the phone and turns his attention to Superfly.

Bob: Mr. Harry's master needs your team out of the way. He already defeated you once, he'll do it again.

Then, with an evil smirk Bob pulls a thick, flat, black band from his back jeans pocket and ties it around his head.

Superfly:

Bob: Third degree black belt in oh-wha-ta-dor-ki-am style kung fu. Did you really think I became Harry's number one man off beer nuts alone?

Superfly: Well... I hadn't really-- Wait... what style?

Superfly's question is never answered, though, as he narrowly dodges Bob's patented Cheeseburger Kick. Before Superfly can regain his footing Bob pelts him with a Mega Grease Ball Attack to the stomach .

Superfly, down but not out, rolls with the blow and quickly returns with his own Super Pimp Slap Barrage (patent pending). Unfortunately, it's not enough to keep Bob down and he unleashes the fierce might of his Chili Dog Slam.

Nearly unconscious, Super barely hears the sound of hooves banging against the inside of the team's spare wardrobe closet. He gets an idea just before Bob comes down with a Big Gulp Shoulder to the chest, knocking Super unconscious.

One hour later...

Superfly: Uhh. What's going on?

Superfly quickly realizes his feet and hands are roped together tight (which was more than okay when Vanessa was doing it).

TTB: Good, you're finally awake. I want you to hear me tell Mr. Harry that your team's headquarters is clear for the taking.

Superfly looks at the clock, confused.

Superfly: Huh? I've been out for an hour! What the heck have you been up to all that time?

TTB: Well... I... found that X-box over there. That thing is addicting.

Superfly (to himself): Yeah, it really rots the brain.

Superfly (not to himself): Well, at least you didn't find the leftover barbecue ribs I was saving from last night.

TTB: What? Where are they?

Superfly (overdramatically): No. If I can't have this barn, you can at least leave me those nice, succulent, juicy ribs with their thick, spicy barbecue sauce.

TTB: Did you say spicy? (Eyes like fire, Bob grabs Superfly, nearly yanking him out of his binds.) Where are they?

Superfly: No! Please! They're not in that closet.

TTB (with a smile): Ah ha!

Without thinking TTB heads for the closet, opens the bolt lock, and yanks open the doors. Before he truly realizes his mistake, Bob is the victim of a very angry horse and donkey.

Minutes later, Napolean and Buttercup's teeth make easy work of Superfly's ropes.

Superfly: Good job you two (patting Napolean on the head). Playing X-box rots the brain and makes villians forget where they stashed the good guy team's pet donkey and horse, doesn't it? Yes it does!

Superfly (surveying the damage): But we're not done yet. Where's the rest of the team?

Buttercup: Neigh

Napolean: Eeyoh

Superfly: What? Timmy's stuck in a well, and he needs our help?

Napolean: Eeyoh <kick>

Superfly: Ow!

Buttercup: Neigh, neigh, neigh!

Superfly: Oh! Chant followed the double-crossing Mr. Misinformation, this universe's evil version of Britannica, and She-Chant, one of this universe's several evil versions of our Chant, to Greece, and Britannica, La Machine, Ace, DND, and RM552, armed with the knowledge that the smaller the room they teleport from the larger the resulting spacial teleportation, went after them by climbing into the broom cupboard hoping to teleport to Greece, defeat the bad guys (and girl) and hopefully find Cowgirl Jack? Not only that, but in his haste Britannica mistakenly called Cowgirl Jack "CowBOY Jack"?

Napolean (satisfied): Eeyoh.

Superfly: Who writes this stuff?

Buttercup: Neigh...

Superfly: I couldn't have timed this better if I was writing it myself. Here, eat these.

Napolean: Eeyoh <Munch, munch>

Buttercup: Neigh <Crunch, crunch>

Napolean and Napolean: <Collapse... Snore>

Superfly walks over to a battered Bob and looks him in the eye. Then, for the first time, Superfly shows his true colors...

Superfly: She-Chant, Mr. Misinformation, The Amazing Harry, Bundy Bear, and myself may all work for the same evil master mind, but Harry can't stop me from being the one who finally defeats the JLR once and for all .

TTB (barely audible): You mean you're not "The Hero Formerly Known as Any Given Wednesday"? You're not one of the good guys?

Superfly: Nope. Just another villian competing for the prize: The defeat of the JLR and the job of our master's Number One.

Just then, as if written to make this long story a little shorter, a portal opens and a man falls out. His back to the two villians, he stands up, dusts himself off, and surveys the barn.

And then he speaks...

[ 12-29-2002, 03:09 PM: Message edited by: Superfly Sr. ]

AGW (looking around): Looks like the team already set up camp in this barn. I knew I shouldn't have made that pit stop in the Top Cow universe. That Lara Croft was just so fine, though....

Superfly: Hello Any Given Wednesday. I've been expecting you.

AGW finally turns around to see a sleeping horse and donkey and a mirror image of himself standing over a badly trounced Tractor Trailor Bob.

AGW: Who are you?

Superfly: Who am I? Who am I!!!???? I'm the one who made it his mission to infiltrate the JLR from the inside by pretending to be you. I'm the one who has convinced all your friends that I'm "Formerly Known As Any Given Wednesday." And I'm the one who shall finally defeat the JLR for my master once and for all.

AGW: Your master? Who--

Superfly: You'll find out soon enough. You see, your firends aren't here, and by the time they see me again, you'll be a prisoner in my master's lair and the JLR will be none the wiser. They'll continue to think I'm you, and I'll still have access to their headquarters and all their little secrets.

AGW: Not a chance. I'll---

<Wham>

And with that AGW is out cold, and any chance the JLR had of discovering Superfly's true identity is imprisoned in his master's lair.

To be continued...

Meanwhile back at Greece Registered Member #552 and Dun Like Dinner round up Mr. Misinformation Toxic Bob and Bundy while La Machine tends to his bleeding nose. Britannica and Ace are off tracking Chantyana into an abandoned building.

La Machine- Ow God I tink she bwoke my dose

Dun- You should consider yourself lucky she didn't kill you.

RM#552- Alright I'm I've got Bundy and Mr. Misinformation tied up. How about you? Are you done Dun. Ha Done Dun.

Dun- Funny Yeah I've got Bob tied up too.

RM#552- Good! Lets hope Ace and Britannica can handle Chantyana by themselves.

In the abandoned building

Ace- Chantyana!!! Where are you?!?!

Britannica- You might as well give yourself up! You can run but you can't hide! Well find you sooner or later.

Chantyana- You'll never catch me.

Britannica- There she is Ace. Throw one of your cards.

Ace throws a card but Chantyana ducks and it misses.

Britannica- Damn looks like a job for the Britannerang

Chantyana runs down a hall and around a corner just missing the Britannerang by a hair

Both of them round the corner and fall right into a trap set by Chantyana. She comes from behind the corner and swings a big lead pipe at the both of them.

Ace and Britannica- Oooofff!!! (They fall on the floor unconscious)

Chantyana- Hahahaha Now to take care of the othe...

Boom! Harpy bursts through the window and tackles Chantyana

Harpy- Caw! Now Harpy has her revenge on puny Chantyana. First Harpy will eat you then Harpy will have dessert.

Harpy glances at the unconscious Ace

[ 12-29-2002, 02:02 PM: Message edited by: Ace ]

Harpy lunges in for the kill!

Chanyana lets out an ear-piercing shreek!

A crack of thunder can be heard, off in the distance (from the direction of Mount Olympus to be precise)!

A portal opens beneath Chantyana, whisking her away from Harpy, and harms way!

Harpy Caws in rage, beats her wings in anger and takes to the sky trying to reestablish Chantyana's scent. . . until she remembers the tastey Ace! Harpy flies back towards the heroes!

Ace and Britannica begin to stir. . .
Ace: Oww, I can't believe we fell for that
Britannica: Omigoodgrief! Look at all that blood on you Ace!
Ace:
Britannica: Oops, sorry it's the tomato sauce
Ace:
Britannica: I wonder what happened to Chantyana? Why would she leave us here, when she could have easily finished us off?
Ace: I don't know? It doesn't seem her st. . .

Just then. . .

Harpy: Caw! Caw! Time for Harpy to eat Ace! Caw! Caw! [Harpy dives towards the two heroes]

A&B:
Ace: Brit, I think that bell and mirror would be handy, right about now!
Brit: Right! Um. . . I thought you had it!?!
Ace: What!?! You had it!
Brit: Oh dear. . .
[Both heroes start madly rumaging through their posessions]
A & B: No. . . Not there. . . Maybe in there. . .nope. . .

Harpy: Caw! Caw!

A & B: [Look up at Harpy's outstretched talons]: Oh, boy!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile back outside of the library. . .

RM552: Hey La Machine, what you got there?

La Machine [sitting on the ground, playing with a bell and mirrror]: dee hee dis is fud

[ 12-29-2002, 04:16 PM: Message edited by: Britannica ]

Harpy's flying through the building chasing Ace and Britannica

Harpy- Caw! Caw! Ace will die and so will anyone else who gets in my way. Caw!

Ace and Britannica-

Ace- Owww geez get im off get im off

Harpy continues ripping through Ace

Britannica- There's nothing I can do. I lost my Britannerang when I through it at Chantyana and Harpy's thrashing to much for me to get close enough to attack her. Why don't you use one of your cards on her?

Ace- Oww oh God of course (Ace reaches down into his belt for his cards but they're all gone) Oh damn I'm out of my cards

Harpy picks Ace up and slams him back into the ground knocking him unconscious again. Then she grabs him with her talons and starts to take off. Britannica grabs onto her other talon before she flies away.

Britannica- Its okay Ace I'll get you out of this.

The two leaguers pass under La Machine, Registered Member#552 and Dun Like Dinner.

Britannica- Guys follow us to wherever Harpy's taking us.

The guys get up and run after their teamates to help them leaving the mirror and bell on the ground behind them

[ 12-29-2002, 05:18 PM: Message edited by: Ace ]

Meanwhile at Chants new lair on Mt. Olympus the gods have come back to reclaim there thrown and have brought all of the rest of the gods and their people. They're ready to claim war on the Chants.

Zeus hurls one of his lightning bolts at Chant23. He falls down off of the mountain dead.

Chant- Oh man come on. I liked that Chant. He was so obediant and evil. He really had some possibility and a bright future at taking over the world. Oh well I guess I can always clone him.

Zeus- This is your last chance Chant. Give up Mt. Olympus or we'll kill all of your Chants

Back with Harpy, Ace and Britannica are being carried closer and closer to Mt. Olympus where Harpy has her nest laid down.

Britannica sees in the distance what is happening back at Mt. Olympus.

Britannica- Hmmm Ace I think I've got an idea.

Ace- What?!?

Britannica- I can't tell you now but I'll see if I can get it to work.

Britannica takes off his shoe and throws it at Harpy making her lose her concentration and lose her grip on the two of them. She swoops back down to catch Ace and while Brittanica is free he uses his cape as a parachute to fly in the middle of Chant and the gods battle.

Harpy flies right into it to retrieve Britannica not thinking and gets struck by a stray lightning bolt.

Britannica- Ha. Yes my plan worked. We're free and Harpy's knocked out.

Ace- Well thats great but now we're falling straight down from about a mile up!!! Aughhh!!

[ 12-29-2002, 06:57 PM: Message edited by: Ace ]

(Just then, La Machine leaps into the air to catch his falling teammates)

LaM- Gotcha!

Brit- Nice work Machine.

LaM- Don Benjin id.

Brit-Wha?

LaM- I ded don benjin id.

Ace- Is that some new power you've aquired, Machine? Speaking sanskrit?

LaM- Do! I ded-
(suddenly one of the random lightening bolts Zeus is hurling strikes
La Machine in mid-air. Ace and Brit are close enough to the ground that they fall harmlessly.)

Ace-Look at this battle!

Brit- The Chants are beating the Olympus gods for control of the mountain!

(RM552 and Dun join the team and help La Machine up.)

LaM- AOOWWW!!!! OW! What the hell is going on here?! What am I like a target for pain!?

RM552- well maybe it has something to do with that.
(RM points to the gigantic bright target on La Machine's chest.)
What's with that anyway?

LaM- What? Oh. i thought it looked kinda cool.

(Chant # 235 is hurled into La Machine)

Ace- We've gotta help the gods get this mountain back!

Dun- Isn't that a Gospel song?

Brit- JLR, CHARGE!

Zues hurls lightning bolts at the army of Chants.

Apollo and Artemis shoot arrows into the villianous army.

Hermes races through the evil Postmasters, striking them with his caduceus.

Ares, the God of War and Athena, wade into the battle, but they are no match for the overwhelming army of Chants, and are soon taken down.

Nearby, Hercules is battling 5 of Chant's Giant Paper Golems. But for every Paper Golem, the Lion of Olympus takes out, 2 more take their place. . .

Helios, the Sun God, in his chariot, clobbers as many Chants as he can, until . . .

Chant 962: OK Chants, Air-Mail attack. . . Now!

Chants 554 & 728 opperate a giant cross-bow type device laden with large envelopes, and fire right at the Sun God.

Helios: Forsooth! I am downed! Those paper-cuts are always the deadliest. . . *Crash*

The JLR reach the edge of the battle. . .

Britannica: JLR! CHARGE!

Ace: Wait! What am I going to do? I've run out of cards!

Brit: Could you utilize those envelopes, that are lying around everywhere?

Ace: Not what I'm used too, but I'll give 'em a go [picks up a handful of envelopes]

RM552: Oh, this don't look good. My enhanced senses show me that the army of Chants are winning!

La Machine: Ow did Dant, bedome so bowerful?

Brit: We're going to have to rescue as many of the fallen Gods as we can and get them back to safety. . . Right, DLD & La Machine, go rescue Ares and Athena! RM552, go help Helios! Ace, give support to Apollo and Artemis, tell them to give us cover! And everyone, take out as many of those Chants as possible!

DLD: What are you going to do, Brit?

Brit: I have to convince Zues to let us help the Gods, and to help restore Harpy, back into Cowgirl Jack! We need all the help we can get!! Damn, I wish we had someway of contacting Superfly Sr.!

JLR: JLR! CHARGE!!!!!

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Meanwhile. . . .

Chant142: Chant, the battle goes well, but we have just received a message, that the JLR have just joined the battle. . .

Chant: Never mind, my bid on e-bay, should have secured that cloning facility by now. Chant64, how goes the e-bay bid?

Chant64: um. . . Chant. . . Someone has outbid us. . .you. . . us. . . The auction has closed!

Chant: Whaaaaat! Bah! Only a minor setback, but I wonder who has foiled our plans?

[ 12-30-2002, 03:10 PM: Message edited by: Britannica ]

Back at the Stacks. . .

Bundy Bear [paw in sling]: Look at me! Me paws broken! All me furs been singed-off in that explosion! I'm naked!

Toxic Bob [head bandaged]: Ow, my head hurts. . . Lucky the JLR, just left us behind, when they ran off.

BB: Yeah, but we've lost Chantyana, all Mr. Misinformation's Amazonian Librarians have been eaten by that Harpy creature. What are we going to do now?

Mr. Misinformation [head bandaged, leg in plaster]: Don't worry Bundy. I have an idea where Chantyana is, and I have just secured the Clone5000 cloning facility from e-bay, I can now rebuild my Army of Amazonian Librarians, and genetically alter them to be Harpy proof!

BB: So where is Chantyana?

MM: I am just about to contact her now. . . [Mr. Misinformation picks up the phone and dials a number] Hello, The Amazing Harry?. . . . Long time no speak to. How are things, old chap?. . . . Glad to hear, glad to hear. Look, you haven't seen Chantyana around lately have you? . . . . . You picked her up?. . . . just as she was about to be eaten by Harpy. . . . . Well thank you very much for that :) . . . . What!?! You've infultrated the Barn of Justice? . . . . . Tractor Trailer Bob and Chantyana are there now?. . . . holding the JLR animals and Any Given Wednesday prisioner?. . . Marvellous! We'll be there shortly. . . . bye [Mr. Misinformation hangs up the phone] We're going on a little trip, boys

BB & TB:

[The IRL limp off to the Barn of Justice]

[ 12-30-2002, 03:36 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Misinformation ]

"Ow! Harpy's head is ringing like a beehive..."

Feather stinged but spirit undaunted, a slightly toasted Harpy gets up. The battle at Mt. Olympus is not far off. Using her eagle-like vision, Harpy surveys the battle.

"Eh? Caw? Who to side with. She-Chant made Harpy angry, Chant annoys Harpy. Britannica and Ace Harpy's dinner...Oh well, I guess Harpy'll attack them all."

And so Harpy proceeds into the battle, cutting every hero or villian, god or mortal, man or woman in her path.

Ace turns to Britannica. "Holy cow do you see what's up with Harpy now? She just took out Athena, an Amazon,, two Chants, and La Machine!"

Britannica raises his eyebrows. "Dear Lord I wish we had that bell and mirror!"

"I just wish I had some cards. You know, Cowgirl Jack kept a deck in her pocket. I just wished her little PMS episode would end so I could get them back...wait a minute!"

Ace grabs Britannica's car keys. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?"

Harpy was beating the stuffing out of another Chant near a clif when Ace ran up to her. "Hey, Harpy!"

"Ace! Caw! Caw! I'm going to tear you liver out!"

"But you wont get the little toy." Ace holds up the car keys and jingles them. Harpy eyes lit up. She drops the Chant clone in her talons and proceeds to jingle the keys. "Oh, Harpy like, Harpy like...Caw!"

Ace thinks Harpy is still going to attack him, so he braces for impact. But Harpy leaps over him and takes out that Brundy Bear (or whatever his name is).

Ace only looks on. "Jeez! That was really...ouch...that look like it hurt!" Brundy Bear, beersek and losing, bats a claw at Ace and pushes him off the clif.

"Oh no! I'm dying AND I DON'T HAVE ANY CARDS! D'oh!"

"Caw! Caw! Harpy owes Ace, right?" Harpy catches Ace in her talons and proceeds to flap back to the clif.

"Thanks, Harpy."

Sadly, before they can reach safety, Harpy turns back to Cowgirl Jack in midflight.

"Boy," says Jack as she rubs her forehead. "My head hurts. I feel like I just got over a craving of potatoe chips."

"Actually," says Ace. "You turned into Harpy for about a week, beat the snot out of everybody, and now you an I are falling several thousand feet because you changed back in mid-flight."

"I think you're exaggerating. I think we're only about two thousand feet in the air."

"Are you always this mellow after being Harpy?"

Jack shrugs. "Eh, somethimes. Just wait till I get some caffine in my system, and I'll be back into kick-butt mode in no time...In the meantime, I still keep that deck of cards in my pocket..."

"Oh yeah! I forgot about that. Give 'em to me and I can save us!"

Jackie:

"Oh-oh, I don't like that face. What is it?"

"Darn that She-Chant!" says Jackie, looking ticked off. "I totally forgot about the catfight. My clothes are still freaking shredded, and the pockets been torn out!"

Hiya boys and girls.....HAPPY NEWYEAR!!!!

I´ve been away for awhile I know that, but thats because I don´t have internet access at home and therefore have to rely on library service and friends......
Well, on to the story........

The battle rages on......God versus clone, clone versus hero, hero versus clone and clone ver.....you get the point......
anyhoo....As the battle continues Chant stands at his forward command central (that´s right, Chant got a forward command central) he surveys the battle......

Chant: Well, it does seem to go pretty well....I think I can leave Chant40573 in charge of the battle as I myself goes searching for this mysterious mastermind I hear so much about

Chant45: Chant, we have secured the forge of Vulcan, the gods will soon be out of weaponry and the JLR´s are dispirited and about to crumble, the raging bear does seem to cause trouble....

Chant: very well, spread the word that Chant 40723 is in charge.

Chant40753: But you said I could be in charge, that´s not fair.

Chant: Whatever!!!

As Chant sneaks out a backway he is ambushed by two of the gods, Aphrodite and Venus to be precise, the goddesses of love and beauty......

Aphrodite: Give evil Chant, we are both powerful goddesses in our own right, you have no chance against us!!!

Venus: Yes fiend, even if you had the power of the evil Hades you would still be outgunned, surrender!!!

Chant: You´re both right, I would be outgunned if I had the power of Hades, but I don´t, and therefore I am not outgunned.

The two goddesses looks at eachother uncertain about what is about to happen and then looks back at Chant.

Aphrodite: what do you mean?

Chant: I have the power of seducing goddesses, and you are both goddesses, and therefore subject to my power....

Aphrodite and Venus looks at one another with fear written all over their faces...

Venus: I do seem to get a little attracted to you....

Aphrodite: me too, only one thing to do... Run before we are in his power completely....

and the two goddesses ran like Carl Lewis...

Chant: I can´t believe they fell for that trick.....Well....people, and gods it seems are stupid, they can be made to believe anything either because they want it to be true, or because they are afraid it might be true....I do hope it was because they wanted it to be true....I mean....WOW....
Well, no time to stay here and chitchat with my self, gotta go find an evil mastermind and make him my slave........

As Chant leaves Mt. Olympus and heads towards who knows where the battle continues, Ace and Cowgirl Jack are falling to their death, or to an McDonalds, Britannica is battling an enraged giant paper golem, the many Chants are winning the battle, and by the way....Who is that mysterious man in the dark???

(As they are about to hit the bottom, La Machine leaps into the air to catch Cowgirl Jack and Ace........again.)

CJ: Whew, thanks La machine.

LM: (hits her in the chin)

CJ: Ow! You dick!

LM: Dow we're eben.

CJ: Fair enough.

LM: Ace, I found dese on de oder side of de moundain. (presents Ace the deck of cards that fell out of Harpy's pockets)

Ace: Beautiful!
Now I can clear a path through this battle to find the real deal Chant. The only problem is we don't know where he is.

LM: Well permit me to disagree there. My eyesight is as sharp as Jason Kidd running a fastbreak offense, and I can see across the valley to that big plateau over there Chant's central command center.

Ace: hmmm La Machine, how far up can you jump?

LM: Well, Richard Jefferson and Kenyon Martin combined for fifteen alley-oops last game, so I'm betting I could clear this whole valley.

Ace:Carry me with you and we can sneak-attack Chant's lair.

Cowgirl Jack: I'll provide a distraction for you guys.

Ace: Great! Ready, La Machine?

LM: Actually I'm getting a little sick and tired of holding you.

Ace: ....excuse me?

LM: Well I'm just a little uncomfortable with the whole thing okay?

Ace: Will you just pick me up?

LM: Fine. (As they leap into the air, Cowgirl Jack musters up what little energy she has to bowl into the crowd of Chants in front of her, letting la Machine and Ace pass overhead, undetected.)
So uhhh, do you work out?

Ace:

Ace: Sounds like your nose got better there.
How did that happen?

LM: Oh yeah. Well I'll explain it to you. (as he does, a 777 jet flies above them, distorting all sound)

Ace: Oh I see.

LM: Yeah.

Cowgirl Jack lands in the army of Chants. "Holy cow, how am I going to distract all these men. Wait a minute..."

Cowgirl Jack whistles, and the army of Chants. "Hey boys..."

"Whoa! Nice legs!"

"Yeah, well, watch them run in the opposite direction. Yip-ee!"

And Cowgirl Jack begins to run, about a thousand Chants following. "I hate running away. Boy, I wish I could stay and fight! Oh well, I'd probably get captured or something like that, so it might be good to stay on top of things this time. Besides, it would just rock if I had to rescue the guys in the end!"

Oh yeah Miami and Ohio play tonight (don't get me started on the Outback, but it was cool to have the gators play at Raymond James). Both are undefeated, I believe. Just to let you know, Wednesday, I don't hold a grudge against Miami and I am rooting for them in this game.

[ 01-03-2003, 05:35 PM: Message edited by: Cowgirl Jack ]

off topic:
Buck-eyes! Buck-eyes!

As Britannica still makes his way to Zeus, a Paper Golem looms out of the battle and attempts to give Britannica a nasty paper cut. . .

*swish*

Brit: Eep! [Ducks out of the way just in time] Ha-Ha! My Britannera. . . oh, bugger. I lost it didn't I?

[The Golem attacks again] *swoosh* *riiiiiiiip*

Brit: Damn! That was my bestest cloak! That's it!

[Britannica pulls out a pair of scissors]

Brit: Scissors cut Paper, Golem!

*snip* *snip* *snipsnip* *snip* *snip* *snipsnipsnip* *snip*

Just then Hercules walks up, several scrunched up balls of Paper Golem in his hands, and admires Britannica's handywork.

Hercules: Snowflakes? Well done, mortal . . . *wham* [slaps Britannica on the back, sending him flying 10 feet or so]

Brit: *oooof* um, nothing to it. It's all those school holiday storytime activities, I ran back at work. . . . ow, I think I landed on something?. . .

[Hercules walks up to Britannica, grasps his hand to help our hero up] *crunch*

Brit: Owwwwwwwwwww Watch your grip there, I think you just broke my hand!!! ow, ow, oww, owww, owww

Herc: 'Twill heal, mortal. I am Hercules, son of Zues, lion of Olympus, Demi-God extr. . .

Brit: Uh, yes. How do you do, I'm Britannica. . .

Herc: Well met! *wham* [Hercules slaps Britannica on the back again, sending him sprawling again. . .]

Brit: *It's times like this, I wish there was a cry-baby smiley we could use on this Board.* Look you big Ox, I need to talk to your Father. I am with the Justice League Reality, we're here to help you against our common foe, Chant. But first we all need to regroup. . .

Herc: Justice League? I was expecting the Avengers. Oh well, let me help you get to Dad, anyway. . . [Slings Britannica over his shoulder] We'll be there in no time . . . :)

Brit: How embarrassing. . .

Still running...

"You know, with the entire army of Chants behind him, I can really inflict some damage to the side of evil if I can eliminate them. Hmmm...I better be quick because I'm running low on energy. Well, here goes..."

Cowgirl Jack runs past Hades and kicks him in the shins. The she scrams out of the way. "Why you little brat..."

In his anger, Hades burns everything in a hundred mile radius. Which includes all the Chant clones.

Chant, watching in the distance. "No! My beautiful clones. I will have my revenge on you, Cowgirl!"

Meanwhile, a marathon-weary Cowgirl Jack collapses, too tired to move. She rest for a few moments, and probably would not have gotten up in a week except for the voice she heard above her limp body.

"Well, Cowgirl, we never did find out which one of us is the better fighter. How about a rematch?"

Jackie looks up. "She-Chant..."

Watch Out! Flashback Sequence!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mr. Misinformation, Toxic Bob and Bundy Bear (along with some newly-cloned Harpy-proof Amazonian Librarians), are in the Book-Mobile, making their way to the Barn of Justice, to meet up with their missing IRL team-mate, Chantyana - the She-Chant!

Also at the Barn of Justice are Tractor Trailer Bob (reveiled to be a plant of The Amazing Harry) and Superfly, Sr. (reveiled to be this reality's evil counterpart of Any Given Wednesday).

TTB, has captured Buttercup, Napolean - the animal members of the JLR - and the recently arrived Any Given Wednesday!

*knock* *knock*

TTB: Hello, who is it?

MM: It is I, Mr. Misinformation of the Injustice Reality League, with Toxic Bob and Bundy Bear.

SC: Sweety-pie!!! [She-Chant flings herself at Mr. Misinformation and starts kissing him]

BB, TB, TTB & SS: Sweety-pie :lol:

MM: Dear, not in front of the teammates. . . *cough* *cough* Well Tractor Trailer Bob, where is The Amazing Harry? I hoped to thank him personally, for saving Chantyana.

TTB: He will be here presently, he is still making his way from the other dimension.

[Bundy Bear and Toxic Bob notice Superfly Sr.]

BB & TB: Aggghhhh! It's Superfly Sr., of the JLR!!!! [They go to biff up Superfly Sr.]

SC: No, wait guys! Superfly Sr. has reveiled himself to be evil too! Look [points at AGW], see there's AGW, the true member of the JLR.

MM: So TTB, now that we have three members of the JLR and the Barn of Justice, in our possesion, what are you intending to do with them?

[Before TTB has time to answer, there is a dimensional reality-warp energy signature flash from the broom cupboard]

AGW [who has just come too]: Not again?

TTB: It is The Amazing Harry. Welcome back Boss.

TAH: Hello Bob, Misinformation, Chantyana, Bundy, Bob, Superfly. Now that I'm here, we - the Injustice Reality Gang - shall be invincible!!

IRL: Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Then Esmeralda, the Chicken (who has been waiting for the right moment to make her move, launches an attack on The Amazing Harry!

E: Bwwwaaaaaaarrrrrkkk!!!

TAH:
[The attack catches the illusionist by surprise. The Amazing Harry instictively opens up a portal, which sucks everyone in]

IRL: Aggggggggggggggggghhhhhhh! What's happening?

AGW: Oh boy, here we go again. I think I'm going to be sick

Buttercup: Neeeeeiiiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhh!!
Napolean: Eeyoh!
Esmeralda: cluck cluck

AGW, Buttercup, Napolean, Esmeralda and the IRL all end up in the middle of the fight between the Chants, the Greek Gods and the JLR!

IRL: Oh boy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Narrator: And this is how the IRL, AGW and the AJLR found themselves on Mount Olympus!

We now go back to the regular story. . .

[ 01-03-2003, 06:41 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Misinformation ]

Hercules and Britannica finally reach Zues.

Brit: Oh, mighty Zues! Father of all the Gods, I am Britannica, my colleagues in the Justice League Reality, and I are here to help you and the Gods reclaim Mount Olympus from that Mad Mailer, Chant!

Zues: Justice League Reality!?! Hercules, mine Son, I thought that thoust hadst callethed the Reality Avengers?

Herc shrugs his shoulders.

Zues: Oh well. Welcome Britannica of the JLR, you offer of assistance is truely appreciated. Oh, excuse me. . . [throws another lightning bolt at Chant 6034] *Ka-Boom*

Chant 6034: Ow!

Brit: Oh Mighty Zues. . .

Zues: Just Zues.

Brit: Oh Just Zues, I have a favour to ask. . .

Zues: What woudst that be?

Brit: We have a member, Cowgirl Jack, who can transform into Harpy, a bird creature. Could you transform her back again please?

Zues: Well, yes. . .

Brit: Now. . . .?

Zues: Of course, but. . .

Brit: Now would be good!

Zues: But, I don't thi. . .

Brit: Look, we don't have time for this! Just transform her NOW!

Zues: Oy Remember, thou asked for it. . .

In the distance Caw! Caw!

Brit: "Caw! Caw!"!?! Huh!?!

---------------------------------------------------------
Elsewhere. . .

Cowgirl Jack: I have you now She-Chant!

She-Chant: That's what you think! [A squadren of Amazonian Librarians surround Jack]

Just then Cowgirl Jack is transformed back into Harpy

Harpy: Caw! Caw! She-Chant dinner now!

SC: Lucky these new Librarians are Harpy proof. . . Get her girls!

AL's: Charge!!!!

SC: They maybe Harpy proof, but I'm not. . . . Run away!!!

[ 01-03-2003, 07:32 PM: Message edited by: Britannica ]

Sigh, this is what happens when your roommates are on birth control and you're hormonaly whacked. Zues starts taking over...

What is going on...why do I have wings?

Then it hit Cowgirl Jack: her body had changed into Harpy's but her mind was still her own. She knew that Britannica was going to try to contact Zues. He thought the Greek god could reverse the Harpy cycle. Did I not say in the protocols just to let Harpy vent for a few days and everything would be fine? Seesh, next time we're going to put La Machine in charge.

At least she had a slight advantage. The Amazons were expecting a Harpy-controlled Harpy to attack them. Harpy wasn't an idiot, but she did let trivial primal things (noises, food, the smell of blood) distract her easely. But a Harpy with Cowgirl Jack's highly evolved mammalian brain, this was a different story. They're counting on the fact that I'll charge into them, so they can stab me with their spears. So, maybe, if I do something else...

Meanwhile, in the throne room of Zues...

Britannica was pitching a fit, jumping up and down like a baby, while Hercules watched. "No! Wait, she's a harpy again. Drat, she must have changed back! Return her into her normal form, we need her in a fix!"

"Very well," says a slightly-annoyed Zues.

"ROAR!"

Britannica rolls his eyes. "Dear me..."

Back to the Amazons

Well, she wasn't Harpy anymore. But she wasn't Cowgirl Jack, either. Jackie flexed her--claws? And then her tail twtiched. Wait, I have a tail now? She turned back to the Amazons. They were only Harpy-proof.

"Well, until I'm back to normal, this new body will be okay. ROAR!"

Back in the throne room...

"No, she was human!"

"I am terrible sorry about that," says Zues. "Really, I am. I could have sworn you said 'We need her as a spinx,' not 'We need her in a fix.'"

Britannica looks like he's about to burst a temple. "Change her back."

Zues peers toward the half lion-bird-woman (or would that be thirds?). "I could, but she seems to be doing fine now. Those Amazons are dropping like flies. She couldn't fight them as a human, and she sure couldn't fight them as a harpy, but she is doing remarkably well as a sphinx. How about this: when the battle with the Amazons is over, I'll change her back. She'll only be a spinx when some of those Amazons are near. Okay?"

Britannica barely has time to nodded before Zues boots him out of Olympus and back into the battlefield...

***off topic***

Is this a superpower? Every football team I root suddenly sucks! What the heck is up with that. Sometimes its single games, like with the Bucs and now Miami, but I think I have singlehandly jinxed the Dallas Cowboys and the Gators.

***back to topic***

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Cowgirl Jack:
[QB]***off topic***

Is this a superpower? Every football team I root suddenly sucks! What the heck is up with that. Sometimes its single games, like with the Bucs and now Miami, but I think I have singlehandly jinxed the Dallas Cowboys and the Gators.

***also off topic***

then do u mind goin for the packers too??

Sure.

Whoa! Go Packers!

Any other request?

Britannica finds himself thrust into the battle on Mount Olympus. . .

Brit [under his breath]: Stupid Hercules, crushed my hand. Stupid Zues, kicks me into the middle of a battle without healing me. . . .

Chants 69, 345 & 747 and Dionysus go staggering past Britannica, goblets of wine in hand. . .

Chants69, 345, 747 & Dionysus [signing, well sort of]: Weeeeee are the musich mens, we comes from . . . *hick*. . . Mount Olympush waaaaaaaaayyyyyy. . . .

Brit: Oh well, my hand is crushed, I've lost my Britannerang and my information overload ability only works when I establish eye contact. . . hmm. . . . looks like I'm going to have to use my independent third-toe movement ability. . .

Britannica removes his shoes and socks and launches himself at the nearest opponent - an Amazonian Librarian - knocking her to the ground]

Brit: Hello dear lady, I'm sorry to do this, but . . .

[Britannica tickles the Amazonian Librarian with his independent third-toe movement ability]

Amazonian Librarian: Tee Hee! Stop it!!! :lol:

Britannica stops tickling the Librarian, just long enough to establish eye contact, then. . .

Brit: Informatin Overload Attack!

Britannica then "downloads" the entire contents of:
"What Australian Bird is That?"
"The Penguin Dictionary of Classical Mythology"
"How to Hypnotise a Chook"
"Australian Hansards" (the Australian Parliament proceedings from 1901-2002, for both House of Representatives and the Senate)
into the Amazonian Librarian's mind, within 30 seconds.

AL: Ohhhhhhhh

Britannica looks up to see Cowgirl Jack in Sphinx form. . .

Brit: Hey Jackie, nice look . Zues has promised to change you back into human form, once this is all over.

CJ: Grrrrrreat! Rwoar! [Sphinxgirl Jack launches herself at another Librarian] That's the last of them, lets deal with the real villian - Chant! Rwoar! [Cowgirl Jack-Sphinx starts running towards Chant's forward command central] I've picked up his scent.

Brit: I'm right behind you Sphinxgirl Jack

SJ: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Brit: Sorry. . .

Didn't I lead all the Chant clones to a flaming death a couple of posts ago?

Meanwhile, the battle rages on...

There must still be a few Amazons around, because I still have a tail...

Britannica and the Sphinx meet up with Chant, who is mourning over his roasted clones.

"My beautiful children! You will be avenged when I get a hold of that wrench Cowgirl Jack--hey, who's the cat?"

Sphinx jumps onto Chant and begins to claw at his face. Britannica can only look on. "Hey, save some energy for Mr. Misinformation and She-Chant."

In another part of the battle...

"Hey, Ace, look out behind you!"

Ace throws a card at the last Amazon. "Whew. Thanks for the save, La Machine."

"Yeah. We're doing pretty good. We knocked out the Amazons, Cowgirl Jack set the Chants on fire, and Harpy dealt with Brundy Bear. All we have to deal with now is Chant, She-Chant, Mr. Misinformation, and Toxic Bob."

Back to Britannica, Chant, and the Sphinx...

Chant thought the Sphinx's face was familiar. Someone that owes me money? An old girlfriend? Who? But Chant had lost all enthusiasim for the battle, and was content to let this mauler cut him to pieces.

With the Amazons gone, the Sphinx disappears and a very confused-looking Cowgirl Jack. "Oh-oh..."

Chant's eyes glow with newfound hatred. "You..."

***off topic***

Thanks again, La Machine, for those comments on the JLA board. You're a true gentleman! (If you want to see what the deal is, check out the JLA topic title something like 'GL fans PO'd at artist'.)

During the battle at the base of Mt. Olympus, Zeus inadvertently throws a lightning bolt that disintegrates Registered Member #552.

Britannica:[yelling at Zeus]Hey! You just zapped one of our guys! Bring him back!

Zeus: You know, I'm getting a little tired of always getting you guys out of trouble, and...

Britannica: WHAT?! You're the one that zapped him! Bring him back, RIGHT NOW!

Zeus: Alright, alright, I'll do it. You don't have to be snippy about it.

::Zeus throws another bolt that strikes off in the distance::

Britannica:[looking out over the battlefield]Hey, I don't see him anywhere.

Zeus: You said to bring him back; you never said WHERE to bring him back.

::Registered Member #552 awakens in a green field::

RM552:[holding his head]Ow, my head! Where am I?

::Registered Member #552 looks around and spots a road sign nearby::

"Welcome to Doesntreallyexistia, pop. 10,453"

RM552: Oh no, I gotta get outta here and...waitaminnit! This isn't my Earth! I was caught up in some sort of trans-reality portal that caused the original Registered Member# 16603 to be lost in Hypertime and me to meet up with the JLR. There's no guarantee that, if I even have a counterpart on this Earth, he had the same unfortunate....um, falling out that I & 16603 had with our subjects. Maybe I could be this Doesntreallyexistia's new king! Yeah, my subjects were such nice, common folk...

::Registered Member #552 hears a noise in the distance...::

Stereotypical Eastern European Peasant: Over here, fellows! We finally found him! Hello, "Your Highness."

::A group of people emerge from the woods carrying pitchforks and torches::

RM552: Oh, crap...

Oh I see we're all going to that GL (aka anti-Italian-American) post on the JLA board. Oh, this JacenSolo guy is getting little Miss Italy here royal ticked off. Thanks RM552, Ace, and La Machine for responding to it!

I think we sould all go over there and support our Italian sister and show this guy how stupid he is.

And thanks for cheering for the Packers CJ. You helped make me a couple dollars richer!

Just as Cowgirl Jack transform into her own self right on top of Chant the battle is about to end.....

Chant: You........

Cowgirl Jack: Ehh....HI....See Yaa!!!

Cowgirl Jack tries to escape as she realizes that in her human form she is no match for the power of Chant....

Chant: You are not going anywhere, you must pay for what you did to my evil clones, and pay you will!!!!

Chant Grabs Cowgirl Jack and leaps to his feet using his "ifeyescouldkill" glare on Britannica who staggers backwards and stumbles over a body of an evil clone.....
After that Chant uses Postalpowers to fold himself and cowgirl Jack together into an envelope and mails himself and cowgirl Jack with airmail.

Left behind stands Britannica with his fists to the air...

Brit: DAMN YOU CHANT...........Zeus, you are a god, you must use your powers to stop him, to bring him back, to get my teammember back and to punish Chant......

Zeus: No, I can´t do that, it is against the law to open other peoples mail, I´ll go to prison.....how do you think Chant threw us out of here....It wasn´t because of superior numbers, he had our landlady evict us...

Brit: you got a landla........Whatever, get them back here now or I will use my "independent third-toe movement" power on you

Zeus looks at Britannica.......and then suddenly he launches a lightningbolt which strikes Britannica on his third toe....
Britannica graps his toe and starts jumping around on one leg screaming and cursing....

In the meantime the registered member is being hailed as king in the mysterious realm that doesn´t really exist, and he actually loves it. He is being treated like a god and, who would´nt like that

RM552 or something like it: I like this, finally I´m a god, a king, a sovereign......

Highpeasent: My lord, it is time for you wedding with the gueen!!!

RM552: A queen, wow, I hope she is gorgeous....

Two huge gates opens and in steps a grotesque thing slightly resembling woman.

RM552: Yikes......

Back on earth Chant arrives with Cowgirl Jack at his secret lair at the old postoffice.....

Chant: Yes, as you can see I have a new lair Cowgirl Jack...can I call Jackie???...great...Listen jackie, I want my revenge, and I am going to get it.....

Jackie: No way, you are going to die, or at the very least you are going to get yelled at by the JLR

Chant: well, have it your way, I was going to make it easy on you ...well, I will just have to clone you using a very old technique that tickles quite a lot, your choice.....

will britannica ever be able to use his independant third-toe movement again?, will Zeus finally do something right?, is RM552 going to marry the troll, will Cowgirl Jack escape the terrifying fate of being cloned while being tickled and who is that mysterious man in the dark???

Read more some other time!

Sigh....kiddnapped again.

quote:

---

Originally posted by dun_like_dinner:
I think we sould all go over there and support our Italian sister and show this guy how stupid he is.

And thanks for cheering for the Packers CJ. You helped make me a couple dollars richer!

---

Aww...I'm touched. Just make sure you leave enough of this guy for me to finish off!

You know you have to split your winnings with me... ...kidding!

Oh, I'm not sure if my Football-jynxing powers extend past football, but if anyone has anyother teams they want to see go down, let me know!

In Doesntreallyexistia:

RM552: Why couldn't you people just tar & feather me?! There's no way I'm marrying that THING!

Peasant: But m'lord, the wedding has been planned for months.

RM552: Really?! Man...my counterpart must have pretty low standards if he actually WANTED to marry it, er... I mean her. [Registered Member #552 thinks a moment] Please tell me you're an heiress or something....

TrollWomanThingy: *Gurgle*

RM552: Well, I see you're the talkative sort aren't ya?

TrollWomanThingy: *Glrpstll*

RM522: Uh-uh. [Registered Member #552 points at something behind the crowd] Sweet Jiminy! What the crap is THAT?!

::As the crowd turns to see want RM552 is pointing at, RM552 runs in the opposite direction out of the palace::

Meanwhile, in Chant's Lair...

Cowgirl Jack is chained to the wall as the DNA extracter is aimed at her shoulder, ready to draw blood. The chains are too tough for her to break and she is just to exhausted to fight much. "Chant, I don't think you really want to clone me!"

Chant folds his hands in a menancing manner. "Really? Sorry, Jackie, but I will have my revenge on you...I will create a single clone of you, reprogram her to do my every bidding, have her kill you slowly by tickleling, and then, make her the new She-Chant!"

"NO! NOT TICKLELING!" (Hey, Chant you have no idea what a can of whoop-butt you have opened here. I was tramatized at a young age when my older sister use to tickle me until I nearly passed out.)

"Right, well, prepare to die!"

The cloning machine spits out the clone. It's an exact replica of Jackie, wearing a skimpy mailmen (or is that mailwoman) outfit.

Jackie takes one look at the clone, then rolls her eyes. "Seesh...girl, if that skirt was any shorter, it would be a belt."

"HA HA HA! Now, new She-Chant, destory your original!"

She-Chant takes a step forward and turns into Harpy.

This is too much for Cowgirl Jack. "HA HA HA! Who's laughing now, you silly mailmen! I must admit, Harpy should only show up once a month, but in this case, the intrusion's welcome." Jack turns to look at Harpy. "Caw...caw-caw-caw caw caw-caw."

Which translates from Harpish to, "Hey, Harpy girl. Nice of you to come again. Help me and the JLR out of this one and give you some chocholate!"

Harpy grinns. "Caw! Caw!" She pins Chant to the ground and knocks him unconscious. Then she wrecks everything in the room, including the cloning machine, Chant's collection of Chinese New Year stamps, and the chains on Cowgirl Jack's wrists.

"Good job, Harpy! Now, let's fly back to the battle and deliver some Justice!"

"Caw! Then Harpy get chocolate!"

"You and me both, sister!"

VERDAMMT!!!!!!..

She Escaped, well luckily all my clones have builtin selfdestruct devices, when they die, they explode into lots of paper giving papercuts to anyone in the vicinity....thank god that I am immune to papercuts.......Well, time to turn on the device that will turn my new clone of Cowgirl Jack into a huge Giant paper Golemharpy which will give papercuts to any one!!!

Will the JLR´s avoid further papercuts, and by god, WHO IS THAT MYSTERIOUS MAN IN THE DARK????