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HOPEFULLY THIS WILL CLEAR EVERYTHING UP...
Back at the battlescene...A very tired Britannica climbs a mountain. "Pant, pant, pant. Okay...JLR ASSEMBLE!" ![[AAAHHHH!!!]](graemlins/aahhh.gif) Ace is the first to come. "Dude, I was like five feet from you. Didn't need to yell." Next comes La Machine. "Ace, I am not going to continue to pick up these cards after you toss them everywhere. Try to keep better track of them, okay?" Ace grabs his cards. "So...where's RM552?" DND climbs up, mop in hand. "Is it just me, or did Cowgirl Jack get kidnapped again? We need to keep a closer eye on her." La Machine shrugs. "Well, she's under a lot of pressure, you know. she's got to play most of the roles of every type of superheroine. The vigilante, the warrior, the brainwashed ditz, the slut--" "As for the latter two, I think I'll give them to She-Chant and my clone, respectivly." The JLR look up and see Jackie riding Harpy. She dismounts after Harpy lands. JLR: ![[eh?]](images/icons/confused.gif) Cowgirl Jack and Harpy? Cowgirl Jack shakes her head. "Harpy seems to have taken over the body of my new clone. Still confused? Don't worry, I've been confused the past three pages of this adventure [looks at camera and grinns]. Chant kidnapped me and clone me. He calls the clone She-Chant, though. He must have modified the clone to be evil and follow his orders." JLR: Ah... ![[nyah hah]](images/icons/tongue.gif) Cowgirl Jack turns to Britannica. "So, what's the situation?" Britannica clears his voice. "Ah well, lets see...Mr. Misinformation and She-Chant are still running loose...the Amazons are finished off...Cowgirl Jack got rid of the Chant clones and Brundy Bear--" "Escuse me," Harpy raises her wing. " Harpy took out the bear." "Eh...right. And we can't find RM552. Or Superfly." Ace speaks out. "What about the gods?" Britannica looks embaressed. "They don't seem very grateful for us saving their home. Probably because Hades got a ton of paper-cuts after burning the Chant-clones." Harpy takes off. "Caw! Caw! Harpy can still track the She-Chant! I can pick up her trail! Then you all follow...and...oh...Harpy doesn't fell to good..." The JLR watches in mute horror as Harpy turns into a giant Harpypapergolem. " ROAR! HARPYPAPERGOLEM DESTROY CHANT'S FOES!" Britannica nudges Cowgirl Jack in the shoulder. "Eh...Jackie... please learn to control your alter egos..."
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***Off topic*** What a hectic morning. Sort out my Uni application. Work on a friend's resume. Work on some reports for work, before I go to work (evening shift today), travel back to the DCMB to infrom JacenSolo about the errors of his ways (and it's only 9.15am). 1. Jackie, yes you did destroy all of the Chant clones. . . except Chants69, 345, & 747, who were in the pub with Dionysus at the time of your attack :) 2. It Bundy, not Brundy 3. Don't worry about JacenSolo, back in the DCMB's. We can only try to enlighten his dim views - We can't do anything about genetics! (I have a feeling, his sister, cousin & wife are the same person - did I say that out load. . . oops ![[um.... uh huh! ... ]](graemlins/umuhhuh001.gif) ![[who, me?]](graemlins/whome01.gif) ) 4. You are doing an admirable job taking on all of the sterotypical roles of the superheroine. CJ: What! ![[you sunnuva...]](images/icons/mad.gif) ![[izzat so?]](graemlins/zatso.gif) Brit: Except the the 'brainwashed ditz" and the "slut" roles, of course!!!! 5. Oh and eh...Jackie...please learn to control your alter egos..." ![[wink]](images/icons/wink.gif) [ 01-05-2003, 05:39 PM: Message edited by: Britannica ]
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Doesntreallyexistia - somewhere miles away from the palace...::As Registered Member #552 flees from the palace, he trips over a cloaked figure::RM552: Umph! Hey, watch where you're going, pal! stranger: You're the one who tripped over me, friend. RM552: Oh, well...um, what's your name, then? stranger: My name is... Zues. RM552: ZEUS?! As in the Olympian? Zues: No, I'm Zues..."Zoo-es", not Zeus "Zoose". RM552: There's a difference? Zues: Yes, I was created by a typographical error made by one of the Authors of the Universe. RM552: "Authors of the Universe", who are they? Zues: You may be under the delusion that you have free-will, but you don't! Neither do I. We are all at the whim of a group of beings that control our very existence! If one of them has a bad day, watch out! We exist merely for their pleasure and entertain.... RM552: Whoa there, chief! You're getting way too metaphysical for my tastes and....ummm..... [Registered Member #552 thinks for a moment...] What were we talking about? I have a perfect memory but for some reason the last few moments seem to be fuzzy to me.... Zues: I'm not sure either.... RM552: Well anyway, could you help me get back to my teammates? Zues: Well, if it's called for in the plot, I guess I can try. RM552: Huh? Zues: ....What? I said I'd try, what more do you want? ::Zues throws a lightning bolt into the air and it swerves back toward the both of them. It stikes them and.... ::RM522: Where are we? This doesn't look like Mt. Olympus or the Barn of Justice. Zues: Well, there's a travel brochure over there... ::RM552 and Zues read the brochure::"Come visit beautiful, exotic, wonderous Chantania!"RM552: Great, just great! ![[...rassamnfrackin...]](graemlins/grumble01.gif) [ 01-05-2003, 05:42 PM: Message edited by: Registered Member #552 ]
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LOL! You guys are a trip...
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On the border of Chantania...
RM552: Well. what do we do n...
TrollWomanThingy: *Glsptltee!*
RM552: What the crap?!
::Registered Member #552 sees TrollWomanThingy bounding towards him::
RM552: How did it...she find us?
::RM522 notices a sign that reads "Welcome to Doesntreallyexistia, pop. 10,453"::
::RM522 looks towards Zues::
Zues: What? You didn't know that Chantania and Doesntreallyexistia share a common border?
RM522: Wait-wait-wait! I ask you to send me back to my teammates and you zap us a few hundred yards away?!
Zues: Don't look at me that way! I was only created a few pages back, I'm still learning this god stuff.
::TrollWomanThingy tackles RM552 and gives him a bear-hug::
TrollWomanThingy: *Glrtlsplit!*
RM552: Well, you seem nice enough yourself um...miss. It just so happens, though, that I have a policy of only mating with females that I'm positive are of the same species as myself. You understand, don't you?
::RM552 delivers a quick rabbit-punch to her nose...at least RM552 hopes it's her nose::
RM552: Quick, Zues! Let's get outta here!
::With that, RM552 and Zues go deeper into Chantania.... ::
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As the team (minus registered member and Any Given Wedensday) regroups to track down She-Chant, a noise is heard in the distance) LM- I heard a noise in the dist- Ace- Stop that. It's getting annoying. LM- you're....head is..annoying......shutup. Brit- Wait. I hear it too. DLD- It's getting louder....It's coming from over there..... (Soon, out of the mountains charges a skyscraper-size paper golem roaring with the miserable voices of millions of lost mail ) Brit- Charge!!! Cowgirl- Charge my ass! Run the hell away! ![[whaaaa!]](eek01.gif) (the league runs towards a forest. Harpy swoops and tears into the golem, but it reforms and unfurls a thousand paper cuts on the poor creature.) Ace- My cards are doing nothing against it! DLD! Is your mop wet? Maybe you can dissolve the paper. DLD- Not that much paper! Brit- Alright we have to form a game plan here. Harpy's down. La machine- I want you to use your powers to distract it for awhile and- La Machine, what are you doing? (La M sits typing away at a laptop, looking back occasionally at the golem) LM- Shhhhh! Don't distract me! Brit- Fine, whatever! Cowgirl! Find a water source nearby! Maybe we can drown it or something. Ace- Come on, I'm running out of cards to keep it busy here ![[gulp!]](gulp.gif) !! Cowgirl- All that's around here is a spring. DLD- What about Zeus or one of the other gods? Is he around? Brit- That's Zues. And no, they all left for Valhalla. (The golem swats Ace into a rock canyon) Ace- I regret nothinnnnnnnnnnnnnng DLD- Ace! Brit- It's coming straight for us! Cowgirl- Brace yourself! (as the golem is about to strike, it suddenly flies apart; its individual pieces of mail catching to the wind) Ace- (climbing out) wha....what happened??? ![[DOH!]](graemlins/homerface01.gif) What happened to it? LM- I sent it away. Brit- You what? LM- I have Jason Kidd's eyesight. I have very good eyesight. Remember? I read each and every lost letter in that golem and I copied it down onto this laptop in the JLR kit here and sent them to their home address's accorded community post offices via e-mail. DLD- How did you know they were lost? LM- I read the narrations. (walks away) We better get going, huh? Ace- (pause) ....cheater.
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Meanwhile, at Chant's lair
"Wow, this is the first time my devious plans have suceeded. Darn I'm good. Well, now to transport the real She-Chant to another demension. I can't have her competing with my Cowgirl-Jack-She-Chant hybrid. Hmmm...I really need to find a new name for the new girl. I hope it. I'll call her Alice. A is the first letter of the alphabet, and she's my first female clone. If she dies I'll name the next one Beatrix..."
Chant focuses his trans-dimensional laser (located in orbit) at the room where She-Chant is talking to Mr. Misinformation.
"What? Misinformation and Toxic Bob in the same room. Hmmm...methinks I can kill three birds with one stone..."
At She-Chant's Undisclosed location...
"Right well, I just want Harpy stuff, mounted, and on my dresser."
"I want Britannica's head served to me on a golden dish with parsley."
I'm stuck with these sickos? thinks Toxic Bob.
Before the three can say anything else, they are transported to get another dimension.
"What! Sweetie-Pie, where are we?"
"Don't call me Sweetie-Pie in front of Bob!"
Toxic Bob reads the sign in front of them. "Chantania. Hey, She-Chant, sounds like your kind of place."
She-Chant looks annoyed. "Someone must have sent us to an alternate...DARN YOU CHANT!"
Mr. Misinformation peers into the horizion. "Isn't that one of the JLR running in our direction?"
She-Chant snorts in anger. "Yeah, and one of those looney Greek gods...and what is that other thing?"
Toxic-Bob shrugs. "I don't know...but it's kind of cute..."
[ 01-05-2003, 09:39 PM: Message edited by: Harpy ]
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(Meanwhile, back in Greece. Ace helps Harpy up from the Golem attack) Ace- Harpy are you alright? (Harpy swats Ace who soars back into the canyon) Ace-Iregretnothingagaaaaaaaaiiinnnn Brit- Don't worry he's fine. Check Harpy's feathers for shreds of paper. maybe there are some clues pointing towards Chant's lair. (suddenly, the JLR witness a laser beam shot down from the sky into an unknown location {Chant's interdimensional ray}) DLD-I wonder....does anyone else think that had something to do with Chant? Brit- Maybe we should follow to where it landed. Cowgirl- I think I got something here. (Harpy begins to growl) Shut up, Harpy or I'll tell everybody who you have a crush on. (Harpy gets quiet) Here's a shred from Harpy that says something about a secret lair. It's.....damn it's too small to read. La Machine, can you read this? LM- no I can't. Pause Brit- Why not? LM- 's too small. Cowgirl- you could read print this size swirling in a golem the size of the statue of Liberty but you can't read it up close? LM- Well I can't do everything guys. Brit- Forget it. I say we follow to where that beam travelled. Couldn't have been farther than the other side of the island. (The team leaves with Ace climbing out of the canyon, catching up) DLD- Hey do you work out? Ace-
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Off topic: And CJ, what did you say about my Giants? You must have said some jinx magic for them to collapse like that in the second half now WHAT DID YOU SAY!??
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You people scare me. .... Heh. Actually, the MBL (and TOMB) used to be just like this.
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***off topic***Hey, it's a work in progress, TimeTrust ![[biiiig grin]](images/icons/grin.gif) *** Nets, let's bring JacenSolo down. You with me, brother? ![[mwah hwah haa]](graemlins/devil.gif) *** Cowgirl Jack: Nets, uh...uh...(begins pointing a finger at the leader) Britannica made me do it... Britanncia: Cowgirl Jack: Uh...lets get back to the story... In the air...bound to where the laser went"We're going to die!" Cowgirl shrugs. "Chill, Britannica. Harpy's a safe driver. Flyer. Whatever." "Did we really need to fly to the laser site." Ace looks down 2,000 feet. "Actually, its better than falling..."
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off topic: Yeah if i hear from that gibroni again, I swear I'll find a way to track him down. Let's write him into the story and beat the bejeezus out of him sometime. CJ I honestly think you really do have those powers now. So why don't you do me a favor and jinx the Eagles for me? Thanks onto topic: La Machine: (speaking in between leaps in the sky) I think........................ (leap) I just......................... (leap) stepped on......................... (leap) a cow!.................................
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*** off topic **** Sorry I can't post on the DC Boards from work. ![[no no no]](graemlins/nono.gif) I'll e-mail Rob, tonight and see if we can get that loser, thrown out the DCMB. Though I know his posts are offensive, look at the positive - a lot of people are ralliying against JacenSolo. That's encouraging :) [ 01-06-2003, 01:31 AM: Message edited by: Britannica ]
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***Off Topic***
When have we ever been on topic? :)
Now, to deal with the Eagles...
My high school team was the eagles. This will be a piece of cake.
(jumps into the room, dressed in roommate's cheerleading outfit)
"We got the super-super eagle spirit, we got it all the time. Gotta pick it on up and pass it all around..."
Okay, that's all I remember from the cheer. But it ought to do the job.
Now, to deal with that [insert your favorite curse word here] has insult me...
Nets, I say we pull a Godfather on him, and put a dead horse in his bed.
Until then, I've installed a JacenSolo punching bag in the Barn of Justice. Everyone is welcomed to sock it.
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off-topic: "Leave the gun. Take the canoli." -Godfather Oh CJ, don't even get me started.
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******** -OFFTOPIC- *************
Who is this JacenSolo whom all seems to hate so much???
Is he really such a...a....a...a big load of crap in a bucket full puke from hell or is he simply annoyingly irritating???
Should he be shot, beaten up, kicked to crap and sent to his room without supper????
Who is this new archnemesis??? a real-life archnemesis????
********* -OnTopic- *************
Chant: Hey, I´ve got interdimensional laserbeam....wow!!!
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So Cowgirl Jack, DND, Ace, and Britannica are on Harpy's back, with La Machine jumping below them.
"Pant, pant, pant...Harpy says next time JLR can walk!"
"Almost there, Harpy." Britannica hands the monster a Hershey's. "Just fly through the interdimensional rift. It's coming up--eleven o'clock."
DND taps Ace's shoulder. "Eleven o' clock?"
"Military term, duh. It's ahead and slightly to the left."
Cowgirl Jack finds a tighter grip on Harpy. "Brace yourselves for the impact...WHOA!"
They reach the spot where the laser shot through the other dimension. They hit a lot of turbulence.
"Jackie, you tearing at my fur...Harpy not like space travel..."
La Machine jumps extra high and Harpy catches him with a talon.
"Isn't this great!" Britannica shouts to no one in particular. "We're going to see some action."
"I'm going to be sick!" shouts Cowgirl Jack.
"I want my mommy!"
Pass the rift...into Chantania!
The JLR falls through the portal!
"Ommph!" Britannica lands on Mr. Misinformation.
"YOU? YOU!" A duel begins.
"Ow!" Cowgirl Jack lands on She-Chant.
"You little..." Catfight Round II begins.
All the other JLR members rush to help RM552, still being chased by his blushing bride. Toxic Bob can only gaze at the beauty as the battle royal rages on.
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As the battle on the borders between Chantania and Doenstreallyexistia rages on it comes to the attention of Chant, who is still back on earth, or as close as it comes to earth.
Chant: What the devil, they are fighting on my territory, this is no good, I must stop them, they cannae get to close to me wee treasure.
Chant points his Orbital Interdimensional laserbeam at himself and fires. As the laserbeam comes closer and closer Chant starts to realize that the sattelite has been hit by a small metorite and the laserbeam has been damaged, not only will it transport people now, but it will also rearrange molecules!!!
Chant: Ohhh CRAP, CRAP and more CRAP....
A huge sound something like this: FFFFWUUUSSSHHHHHHHHH, occurs and Chant is swept of to the battle at Chantania.....
Chant: uhhhgggg, my tummy feels funny.....where am I, who am I???
No wait, I am the Madmailer of Mayhem Chant and I must stop a war......WAITAMINNIT.....Don´t I usually start wars???????
This is so weird...
DLD: Look, it´s Chant, get him poeple, get him
Everyone stops fighting and looks at Chant who stands a little disoriented and looks a little dizzy
Chant: Huh?
Cowgirl Jack: Get him and give him some papercuts!!!!
Chantyana: Drop him in a pile of superglue!!!!
Britannica: Brainwash him!!!!!
Toxic Bob: Turn him into a smelly monster!!!
Harpy: Clone him!!!!
Everyone else: NO!!!!! DON`T CLONE HIM!!!!
Ace: Let´s throw some cards at him!!!
DLD: hit him with a tableleg and make a gasexplosion.....
Everyone charges towards Chant who is barely combatable and who looks at the crowd coming towards him....
Chant: Heyyy!!! What did I do????
Will Chant survive the uncoming clash between him and everyone else, is such behaviour fitting for heroes, Are there really some allpowerful entities out there who control the destiny of our heroes and foes and who is that mysterious man in the dark???
read more some other time!
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Narrator: (young) Nightwing steps forth from the shadows. For him, the time for reconaissance has passed. (y)NW: For a supervillain capable of booting the gods off Mount Olympus, Chant leaves a sloppy trail. waitaminit...Chant? Why do I recognize him?...and the JLR! If memory serves me correctly, I haven't dealt with any of them before to-- Narrator: The rookie (?) member of the JLR beholds a giant paper golem. (y)NW--Another paper golem. Great . I've faced a golem before... ! I'd better sort things out later. right now, the JLR needs my help.
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***OFF TOPIC***Uh, howdy little Nightwing. So, you want to join a roudy, crazy, and insane bunch of superheroes! Welcome! ![[cool]](images/icons/cool.gif) What size straight jacket are you? ![[yuh huh]](images/icons/rolleyes.gif)
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quote:
Originally posted by (young) Nightwing:
Narrator: (young) Nightwing steps forth from the shadows. For him, the time for reconaissance has passed.
(y)NW: For a supervillain capable of booting the gods off Mount Olympus, Chant leaves a sloppy trail. waitaminit...Chant? Why do I recognize him?...and the JLR!
If memory serves me correctly, I haven't dealt with any of them before to--
Narrator: The rookie (?) member of the JLR beholds a giant paper golem.
(y)NW--Another paper golem. Great . I've faced a golem before... ! I'd better sort things out later. right now, the JLR needs my help.
Britannica [looking at this young "stranger"]: No. . . it couldn't be. . . . could it!?! Is this the return of our much lamented. . . *WHACK* ooof *thud*
Mr. Misinformation [standing over the prone Britannica, holding volume 3 of the Library of Congress Subject Headings (which is really big and really hurts when clobbered over someones head)]: Who is this newby?
She-Chant: I don't know? But it looks like he works out . . . ![[humina humina]](graemlins/love.gif)
Mr. Misinformation: honeypie . . .? ![[sad]](images/icons/frown.gif)
La Machine: Nooooooooooooo, my beloved She-Chant has affections for another!
Ace: Never mind that! Look at Harpy!
Harpy: Caw! Caaaaaawwwwww!
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**Off Topic** Sorry I haven't been here for a while. The site wasn't working for my computer and I could never get on. I just got on yesterday and I've been trying to catch up on reading them. quote:
Originally posted by Cowgirl Jack:
***off topic***
Is this a superpower? Every football team I root suddenly sucks! What the heck is up with that. Sometimes its single games, like with the Bucs and now Miami, but I think I have singlehandly jinxed the Dallas Cowboys and the Gators.
***back to topic***
You've been routing for the Cincinnatti Bengals haven't you.
And don't worry about JacenSolo. We got your back, Jack.... uhh... ie.
[ 01-06-2003, 03:55 PM: Message edited by: Ace ]
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LM- Oh that's great. That's just great. We get a new teammate and it's another guy! (to She-Chant) Well fine! You can have her! Jezebel! RM- (while running)-I was wondering who that guy in the shadows was... DLD- I was thinking Frank Stallone. (With that, DLD runs straight into Superfly Sr.) Superfly! Thank God you're here! We've no time! The IRL has banded together here in Chantania! We;ve gotta stop them now before they regroup to attack Earth and- hey how did you get here anyway? (Superfly Sr. pimp slaps Dun Like Dinner into unconsciousness , then drags him off without anyone noticing.) Superfly- Heehee. One down.
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Narrator: Young Nightwing recognizes the admiring gazes coming from the ladies. However, he's not used to being the object of their affection. (young)Nightiwng:( ! I'm used to girls not giving a damn about me! I knew I should've covered my entire body!) UH ...Hi guys...I feel like one of the team already... Narrator: (Everyone remains silent.) (young) Nightwing: I realize I'm new to all this, but why is everyone gawking at me? Especially her... Narrator:((young) Nightwing points to She-Chant.) She-Chant: Narrator: ((young) Nightwing steels his gaze. He turns to his fellow JLR members.) (young) Nightwing: Okay, since I'm not getting anywhere with this, I'll try another tactic. Does anyone recognize the name Starsky_Hutch 76? Because I seem to remember it, along with a few other remnants of the other reality. Everyone except She-Chant: Have She-Chant's affections been swayed the (seemingly) rookie sex object...er, superhero? Is he truly an embodiment of the Justice League Reality's founder? Only time will reveal the answers to our bewildered heroes.
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Oh yeah Starsky_Hutch 76! I remember you now. Well welcome to the team (young) Nightwing.
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(y)NW: Perfect. Narrator: (young) Nightwing takes advantage of a distracted Superfly by flipping directly over his head. Superfly: What the f-- Narrator: Superfly's consciousness is cut off by a double windmill kick to the back of the head. (y)NW: Can't use the Nightwing monkier and not be agile. Narrator: Mr. Misinformation attempts to clobber the rookie (?) superhero with volume 3 of the Library of Congress subject headings. (young) Nightwing slips the blow and fires a ki blast at the ground beneath Mr. Misinformation, sending him into the air. (young) Nightwing leaps after him, driving his knee into the villain's solar plexus. Mr. Misinformation hits the ground face first. He struggles to regain his balance on all fours.) Mr. Misinformation: ithinkimgonnabesick... She-Chant: Honey! Narrator: She-Chant runs toward Mr. Misinformation...and keeps running right over him. She continues toward (young) Nightwing. SC: That brute didn't hurt you, did he? Because I have...ways to make it all better... (y)NW: I'm not sure I follow you... SC: Oh, I think you do... La Machine: He can have any other woman, why's he gotta take mine? DLD: I thought you said he could have her... La Machine: Oh yeah...forgot for a sec. Jezebel!
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Chant looks at the newcomer with a puzzled look, he is still not himself after the dimensionshift caused by the Interdimensional Laserbeam, which he by the way, caused himself....
Chant: Ehh....Who the crap are you, are you the mysterious man in the dark???
(Young) Nightwing: Well, I don´t know about mysterious, but the man in the dark, that´s me allright!!!
Chant: Great, another would-be do-gooder, and he´s not really new, he is even the founder of my worst and most clumsy enema...ehh....enemy........
Why do I feel that I need an ally, a sentient one that is!!!!
Britannica: Well, I think that he will become a fine addition to the ranks.....again.....ehhh......
Chantyana: I think he is gorgeous, HE`S MINE, ALL MINE!!!!
Chantyana leaps at the newcomer trying to grab him at teleport away with him.....
What will happen now the people wonder???
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::RM552 notices all the commotion over (young) Nightwing::RM552: Hey, um...miss, look over there.... ::TrollWomanThingy looks toward (y) NW::TrollWomanThingy: ::TrollWomanThingy tackles (y)NW and Chantyana::RM552: Whew...finally!! [ 01-06-2003, 05:05 PM: Message edited by: Registered Member #552 ]
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Chant: Well, I think it is about time to make a discreet, but stylish strategic withdrawal.....
A huge FFFFFWWWWUUUSHHHHH sounds and Chant throws a little ball into the ground and a little smoke spreads quickly and is dispersed even faster...
The Heroes all look at Chant who now running away from the fight towards teleporting frog which resides at a small lake...
Chant: Darn, Shoulda picked up the frog before I made my retreat!!!
DLD: Quick, get him before he mails himself or something like that!!!
(young) Nightwing: mails himself???
Cowgirl Jack: Yes, it´s a power that he apparently acquired at some point. The short story is he kidnapped me at folded the both of us into papersize and mailed us via airmail...
(young) nightwing: Huh???
La Machine: Don´t stand there and look like dullwitted brutes, do something, he is getting away!!!!
Britannica: I shall take him with my Britannarang!!!!
Britannica draws his Britannarang and throws it. It falls to ground after a few feet and everyone is looking from it to britannica over and over again.
Ace: What just happened, you could´nt throw it a longer distance than that???
Britannica: Darn, I seem to have forgotten to change the batteries!!!
Mr. Misinformation: You should use Energizer!!
Britannica: What???
MM: Energizer, you know, the one with the little bunny that just keeps going and going and going and going and going and going and go
Britannica: Alright already, I get the picture!!!
MM: well, it´s true, it just keeps going and going and
Everyone all at once: SHUT UP!!!!!!
MM (with a small voice): sorry.......BUT IT`S TRUE!!!!
Suddenly they all remember that Chant is getting away, correction has gotten away.....
Will the JLR and IRL put aside their differences and hunt the archnemesis of Christmas mail and all that is good and pure?
Will Chant ever find out who the mysterious Mastermind behind it all is???
Read more some other time???
That´s right people, there´s a new mysterious man in town!!!
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quote:
Originally posted by Registered Member #552:
::RM552 notices all the commotion over (young) Nightwing::
RM552: Hey, um...miss, look over there....
::TrollWomanThingy looks toward (y) NW::
TrollWomanThingy:
::TrollWomanThingy tackles (y)NW and Chantyana::
RM552: Whew...finally!!
You are OOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEE evil man!!!!!!
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quote:
Originally posted by Chant:
quote:
Originally posted by Registered Member #552:
::RM552 notices all the commotion over (young) Nightwing::
RM552: Hey, um...miss, look over there....
::TrollWomanThingy looks toward (y) NW::
TrollWomanThingy:
::TrollWomanThingy tackles (y)NW and Chantyana::
RM552: Whew...finally!!
You are OOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEE evil man!!!!!!
Why, thank you.
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(y)NW: Okay team, let's review: Chant has not only eluded us, he's jumped aboard the "mysterious persona" bandwagon, I'm in the clutches...of a villainess and a...a troll woman, both of...whom...insist on... attemp....ting to... kiss me... as though my lips contained...the planet's last drops of water ... We're being outfought by a coterie of villains led by a DISGRUNTLED POSTAL WORKER ... And I'm still not sure of WHO I AM! Darkness consumes the sky as (young) Nightwing's cry of rage continues to pierce the air. He floats, carrying his two "captors" with him. They are suddenly tossed aside with the expansion of a golden aura surrounding the not-so-inexperienced hero. TrollWoman Thingy: hisssss! She-Chant: That's okay, baby. I like it rough. Mr. Misinformation: You like any attention you can get from him. SC: Jealous of a real man? MM: ...yeah. (y) NW: WE CAN'T WIN LIKE THIS! Britannica: He's right. Chant will continue to elude us if we don't change tactics. He's able to escape us because he's able to think like us. (y)NW: Or twist our logic to fit his own. For all we know, my memories may very well be implants he's responsible for... [ 01-06-2003, 09:37 PM: Message edited by: (young) Nightwing ]
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Or maybe, i´m just fated to win everytime!!! Ever thought of that......Maybe I´m the goodguy, and you are all the badguys.....That would be strange twist in the story eh???
Anyway, As Chant sits in the old postaloffice in New York he ponders who the mysterious mastermind, suddenly it occurs to him, why was Bill Clinton always there when Chant clashed with the JLR? Why was he always taking notes and why did he always look suspicisous????
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Okay, let's go over the pros and cons then team. 1. young Nightwing doesn't know who he is (though we do, he's Starsky_Hutch from a previous reality....oh yeah happens all the time) and wants to join the team (anyone remember someone named Rachel Summers?) 2. We currently have Mister Misinformation, She-Chant, Superfly, and some weird-ass troll girl (Harpy stares at La Machine) not you! not you! (she lays back down) , in our capture. 3. The Giants blew the playoffs. 4. Chant has escaped us yet once f#cking more. But now we know he thinks he's a good guy and we're all bad guys (delusional freak.) 5. The Giants blew the playoffs. 6. Brittanica STILL doesn't have his Britannerang. 7. She-Chant is a ho. 8. Superfly has apparently turned on us. 9. The IRL seems to have beef with Chant as well. 10. The Nets are on a 10 (!) game winning streak, which means my powers are at an all time high. And if they hit 12, they break the record and I will nigh omnipotent for as long as it holds out. 11. The Giants blew the g@ddamn PLAYOFFS!!!!!! Friends, I think it is time we regroup. TO THE ![[woooOOOOoooo!]](graemlins/smilewoo.gif) .........barn!
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You left out Bill Clinton, who has covertly been attempting to usher himself in as our legal consultant. But we'll all continue this discussion back at the barn.
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Some time later... The Barn of Justice....::RM552 & Ace are playing "Go Fish"...::RM552: Hey, I've been thinking... Ace: Really? RM552: Yeah. I wanna go back to Doesntreallyexistia. Ace: Why? We were just there. RM552: Well, everybody seems to have a evil counterpart on this Earth don't they? I mean, even the villians have evil counterparts for cryin' out loud! Ace: I don't have one. RM552: Don't worry, I'm sure one will pop up eventually. My point is, considering what an upright paragon of virtue I am, my counterpart must be one of the most despicable knaves around. Ace: Hmmm... RM552: What? Ace: Oh, nothin', just thinking. RM552: As I was saying, I think it's our duty as the JLR to stop this tyrant from conquering the world! Ace: What makes you think that he wants to conquer the world? We really don't know that much about him. RM552: We know one thing for sure, and that is this: he has pretty low standards as far as women go. Do you really want the world to suffer under the iron fist of someone with that terrible of a taste in women? Ace: Well, you do have a point there. RM552: Exactly. Ace: Well, how do we get there? RM552: TO THE BROOM CLOSET!!! ::RM552 & Ace use the JLR's transport system (a.k.a. the broom closet) and arrive in the Royal Chambers of the King of Doesntreallyexistia::RM552: There he is! ::RM552 kicks the King in the nads and begins to wale on him::*WHAKK* *CRUNCH* *POP* *SNAP* ::While RM552 continues to beat the King senselessly, Ace walks around the room::Ace: Hmmm....[ Ace looks through some personal papers] *WHAMM* Ace: Uh, RM552... *KERPLOW* Ace: RM552! RM552: [ as RM552 has the King in a modified Boston Crab] What?! Ace: I think you should look at these... ::Ace hands RM552 a book entitled "Philanthropy and You: Altruism for the New Millenium"::RM552: So?! Who knows what poor businessman he stole that from. Ace: And this? ::Ace shows RM552 a plaque commemorating the tenth anniversary of the Doesntreallyexistia Orphanage & Home for Wayward Women::RM552: And?! This rapscallion probably sells the tykes on the black market and uses the women as his own personal harem. You heartless fiend!! Ace: What about these? ::Ace shows RM552 two pictures: One where the King is shaking hands with Mother Teresa and the other of the King winning the Nobel Peace Prize::RM552: Um...well..that is to say... Ace: Have you ever stopped to consider that you may be his evil counterpart? RM552: What?! You've gotta be kidding me! I mean, yeah, there was that one time I cut off a pregnant lady on the way to the hospital in traffic -- but I was late for work, man! Of course, there was that unfortunate incident with that elderly lady, but... ::The Royal Guards break the door down::Ace & RM552: Oh crap... [ 01-12-2003, 02:49 PM: Message edited by: Registered Member #552 ]
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quote:
Originally posted by La Machine:
3. The Giants blew the playoffs...
7. She-Chant is a ho...
10. The Nets are on a 10 (!) game winning streak, which means my powers are at an all time high. And if they hit 12, they break the record and I will nigh omnipotent for as long as it holds out.
Friends, I think it is time we regroup. TO THE .........barn!
3. Uh, was that the team that you asked me to jnyx the opponent?
7. Amen. I would make a comment about her and our hybrid clone Alice dressing like hoes, but I have yet to change my outfit since the cat fight. Well, it's only a middriff and a torn sleeve.
10. Right...with that in mind...
Cowgirl Jack once again changes into roommate's cheerleading outfit.
"Go Kings!"
"Go Raptors!"
You owe me for this one.
Right...somewhere else in the barn...
"Napolean, I swear, if you're peeking, I'll have Harpy at your throat."
"Eeyoh!"
Cowgirl Jack was changing into her spare unform (I have an entire wardrobe of boot-cut pants, dark boots, white shirts, and jackets) in one of the stalls. "This barn thing sucks. Harpy...are you sure the guys are nowhere to be seen?"
"Caw! Britannica is reading on the hay cart outside. Nightwing is practicing out there with him. La Machine is sleeping."
"And Ace? RM552?"
"Eh...Harpy can't find them..."
"Dang!" Cowgirl Jack jumps out of the stall, fully dressed. "We've only got an out-house and hay loft. Seesh. NEXT TIME, I PICK THE HQ!"
"Harpy agrees. Harpy wished JLR had settled for farmhouse nearby instead."
"What..."
Harpy shruggs her wings. "Harpy sees very well. Harpy saw a farmhouse on the other side of the hill."
"It must be part of the property. Hmmm...Come on, lets head over there."
At the Farmhouse of Justice...
"Okay, we're moving in."
"Should Harpy tell the rest of the JLR?"
"Heck no. Let them find out on there own. We've got the kitchen stocked up now...what do you want for lunch?"
"Caw! Harpy wants chicken alfredo, pork chops with BBQ sauce, chocolate cake, apple pie..."
"Right..."
Meanwhile...in She-Chants other lair...
"I can't imagine...how can you like that good guy over me!"
She-Chant merely shrugs. "Look, it only seems to work when I look at him. Now that we're back in my lair, I'm back to normal, snookums."
Toxic-Bob chuckles.
"Shut up," hisses Mr. Misinformation. "We need to stomp out that JLR for good. Any ideas?"
She-Chant raises her hand. "Uh...how about an army of--"
"NO ARMY!"
"Right...how about we clone..."
"NO CLONES!"
"Okay...Wait, here's an idea. I was thinking...we saw Cowgirl Jack turn into Harpy, right? But then we saw Harpy and Cowgirl Jack fight together, right? And we all know that idiot Chant's kidnapped her more times than anyone cares to remember. He probably cloned her and the clone is possesed by Harpy now."
"And your point is..."
"Harpy's a fickled little shrew!"
Mr. Misinformation rolls his eyes. "I could say the same about you..."
"Don't you see? Its a win-win situtaion. If we persuade Harpy to join us...she'll fight like a tiger for us. If for some reason she changes back into the clone, well, the clone's evil and would work with us anyways."
Mr. Misinformation looks as Toxic-Bob. Bob grins. "I like this idea..."
"Right. She-Chant will head to the JLR HQ and kidnap Harpy. Me and Toxic-Bob will go order some food to tempt her with..."
[ 01-07-2003, 07:07 PM: Message edited by: Cowgirl Jack ]
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So She-Chant heads to the Barn of Justice with a potatoe sack to snatch Harpy.
But there's no one there...
She-Chant begins to curse. But there is something being sung...not to far away...
"Is it worth it? Let me work it..."
"Don't I look like a Halle Berry po-sta?"
"Wrong part of the song, Harpy..."
She-Chant follows the sound to an old farmhouse. Perring into the kitchen, she spies Cowgirl Jack and Harpy, singing likes it was the end of the world. Well, at least Harpy was singing like that. Jackie seemed fine. She was fixing some sort of pasta with wine in the sauce. A little bit of wine in the sauce...a little bit drunk by either Jackie or Harpy.
"Hich. Hich. Hich. Harpy's feeling...silly. How about you?"
"Me? Na, I'm immune to this stuff. That, and I've only had a few sips. You had half the bottle."
"Hich. Hich. C-a-a-a-a-a-a-w...I think you're right...Hey...you wanna hear who I have a crush on?"
"Now's my chance!" She-Chant whispers.
CRASH!
She-Chant breaks the window and lands in the kitchen. "Give me the monster, Cowgirl, or I take out you both."
"You little--"
She-Chant's ready, and throws an exploding envelope above Cowgirl Jack. It explodes and sends the ceiling crashing onto Jackie.
Harpy's too intoxicated to care. She's to tipsy to notice She-Chant stuffing her in a potatoe bag. "Mhhh...Harpy get's to travel..."
Even with half the ceiling on top of her, Jackie can hear She-Chant's wicked (and wickedly lame) laughter as she leaves with Harpy in tow...
"Well, on the bright side...I wasn't kidnapped this time..."
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[ ![/qb][/QUOTE]3. Uh, was that the team that you asked me to jnyx the opponent? 7. Amen. I would make a comment about her and our hybrid clone Alice dressing like hoes, but I have yet to change my outfit since the cat fight. Well, it's only a middriff and a torn sleeve. 10. Right...with that in mind... Cowgirl Jack once again changes into roommate's cheerleading outfit. "Go Kings!" "Go Raptors!" You owe me for this one. ..."..."[/QB][/QUOTE] 3. I don't remember, did I ask you to jinx the Niners? Are your powers waning? 7. Don't matter what one wears as long as in the words of the wise Q-Tip, one knows how to "shake your thing and violate it." :lol: 10. Thanks much. But you didn't have to do the Raptors, they're basement fodder. The Pacers on the other hand...... back to topic: La Machine: (having a nightmare) mm no. mmmmcatch the ball Shockey, catch it!mmmmm mmpass interference! pass interferene!mmmmmwha wha (wakes up) just a dream. Thank God. I think I'm gonna get a pop tart. (La Machine walks out in his Tazmanian Devil boxers to the kitchen where Dun Like Dinner is cooking. LM: Hey, we got any pop tarts? DLD- Think I left them in the broom closet when I was cleaning- WHOA! Dude! Get outta here! Put some clothes on! LM: I just woke up ! DLD: I don't care if you just won the Nobel Prize for hairiest legs in human development, get the hell back in your room! I don't wanna see you with...you know....with your boys on holiday down there! LM: My "boys"? DLD: Will you just scram? LM: Fine! And I'm taking the pop tarts with me. (goes to the broom closet) VRAAAASSHHHOOOOOMMM!!!! (La Machine is standing in the middle of a gigantic battle between RM552 , Ace, and the Imperial Guard in the doesn'treallyexista throne room, in his boxers and jersey,) LM: . .....welp......... found the pop tarts.
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quote:
Originally posted by La Machine:
3. I don't remember, did I ask you to jinx the Niners? Are your powers waning?
7. Don't matter what one wears as long as in the words of the wise Q-Tip, one knows how to "shake your thing and violate it." :lol:
10. Thanks much. But you didn't have to do the Raptors, they're basement fodder.
The Pacers on the other hand......
3. No, you didn't ask me to jnyx the 49ers. So my powers are still working. Cool!
7. I'll keep that one in mind.
10. "Go...Pacers! Ra! Ra! Ra!"
***Back to topic***
At She-Chant's lair...
"I did it! I did it! I got Harpy!"
"Well, open the bag!"
A girl in a short skirt and UPS top falls out. "Where's Chant?"
She-Chant lets out every swear word she knows. "...DARN YOU CHANT! DARN YOU COWGIRL JACK! She changed back into a clone!"
"But Cowgirl Jack's a brunette. This girl's blond. Same color as your hair."
She-Chant rolls her eyes. "Chant must have mixed the two of us together...but even I don't wear anything that skimpy. This must be what Cowgirl Jack wears on her days off..."
Toxic-Bob nudges Mr. Misinformation. "De-Nile ain't just a river in Egpyt..."
Before anyone can speak, Alice kicks all three villians unconscious. She picks up She-Chant's exploding envelopes.
"Chant! Where are you, honey? Alice is here to save the day..."
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