RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Tuesday Night Havoc: 3/23/04

3 On 1 Handicap Match single choice

RwO (Drzsmith, BSAMS, & Joe Mama) (52%, 14 Votes)

Doc. Mid-Nite (48%, 13 Votes)

Total Votes: 27 Voting on this poll ends: 2025-03-13 5:47 AM

Intergender Match single choice

Cowgirl Jack (59%, 16 Votes)

LLance (41%, 11 Votes)

Total Votes: 27 Voting on this poll ends: 2025-03-13 5:47 AM

Tag Match single choice

Urg & FNB (38%, 10 Votes)

Chewy Walrus & Backwards7 (62%, 16 Votes)

Total Votes: 26 Voting on this poll ends: 2025-03-13 5:47 AM

Single Match single choice

Velo (56%, 15 Votes)

Notwedge (44%, 12 Votes)

Total Votes: 27 Voting on this poll ends: 2025-03-13 5:47 AM

Non-title Crackhead Lumberjack Match single choice

Darth (23%, 6 Votes)

Latino Heat (35%, 9 Votes)

PJP (42%, 11 Votes)

Total Votes: 26 Voting on this poll ends: 2025-03-13 5:47 AM

* Grimm's black 68 Mustang pulls up in the Cheesedome parking lot. As he arrives, he notices security guards blocking his entrance into the arena.

"Hey, what the fuck is this?"

Rob: "Grimm, you've been suspended from RDCW. Now hand over that tag belt, bitch!"

"Suspended? Fuck you, man. This is bullshit!"

Rob: "Give me MY belt."

"You want the belt? Take it."

*Grimm dumps the belt in a garbage can and drives off*

Grimms trousers fall down!

A limousine pulls up outside the Cheesedome. One of the security guards walks up to the tinted passenger window and raps on the glass.

Guard: Can I help you, sir?

The window rolls down to reveal none other than the Last True Nature Boy, King Snarf

KS: Yeah, bitch, you can tell Nowhereman, Kamphausen, and the rest of the so-called "Rob's World Order" that King Snarf is here, and he wants some motherfucking answers!

With that, King Snarf gets out of the limousine, bag in hand, and pushes past the guards and into the arena!

Nowhereman provides entertainment!

In the women's dressing room, we see Cowgirl Jack looking nervous as she prepares for her match with Llance. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door, and CJ opens to see who it is.

King Snarf: I just heard about the match Nowhereman booked for you. I can't believe that bastard is putting you in the ring with Llance.

Cowgirl Jack: I know; what am I going to do?

KS: Hey, just remember, if you need any help out there, flash one of these... King Snarf holds up 3 fingers, the sign of the Triple Set... and I'll come running.

CJ: Thanks. Wheree are you off to now?

KS: I'm heading to the ring....

As King Snarf makes his way to the ring, he is met by Joe Mama in the hallway. Joe's wearing an "rWo" t-shirt and a big grin.

JM: Why, hello Snarf! Congratulations on your match last night. Man, you and TK...whatta match!!!

KS: What the fuck do you want, rookie? You lookin' to jump me with your new buddies? Tough guy now, are ya?

JM: No, no. Nothing of the sort! Besides, if I tried to jump you, you'd just dodge outta the building, wouldn't you, Big Man? Not so tough with Grimm nowhere to be found and Midnite with his hands full, are ya? And thedoctor...well, how is he? Did he get my Get Well card?

KS: You got a reason to talk to me, punk? Or do you just want me to finish the beatdown that Grimm and Midnite started two weeks ago?

JM: ( steps up to King Snarf and, still grinning, whispers) I just wanted you to know that I'm looking forward to your "investigative journalism". I hope it's as amusing as it sounds. And I want you to know that you won't be able to hide from me for too much longer, pal. That's a promise...time's running out for you. Tick tick, Snarf. Tick tick.

Joe steps back

JM: Well, I've got a match to prepare for. Be seeing you, Snarf! Maybe as soon as tonight...

As Joe walks to the rWo locker, King Snarf can hear him repeating "Tick tick tick..."

*Doc Mid Nite walks into a locker room. Notwedge is inside sitting on a chair with his back turned.*

Doc: I thought you quit.

NW: What gave you that idea?

Doc: You know, the speech you gave at Robbimania.

NW: Oh, that? My promos aren't really meant to be taken seriously. Besides, I didn't say I was quitting, I said they'd never see my face again.

*NW turns around, he's wearing a mask.*

NW: What do you think? I'm sure to be popular now!

Doc: This isn't an act, is it? You really are one crazy son of a bitch.

*NW suddenly picks up his chair and clobbers Doc Mid Nite with it.*

NW: NEVER TALK THAT WAY ABOUT MY MOTHER! NEVER!!

*NW clamly puts his char back where he picked it up from, pulls a cd out of his travel bag and then carefull steps over Doc Mid Nite's prone body as he heads out the door, smiling and humming to himself the whole time.*

TK makes his way backstage, wearing the baggiest ghetto jeans, a white do-rag and Tims. His garb's complete with his personalized Pacers throwback with '069' emblazoned on the back. Small cuts and bruises cover his arms, knuckles and more notibly his face; as he sports a gauze pad on his right cheek.

As he walks through the Cheesedome halls, he overtly notices the silence of usually boisterous backstage.

Da fuck...?

Sorry,I'm a bit confused,why has the Llance/CJ match been booked as an intergender match?
Both combatants have breasts & no penis so surely its just another womens match.

The cheese-o-tron comes to life. Darth is standing in the shadows.

Last week, Latino Chicken Shit had a bit of an accident. He forgot to tighten the lugnuts on his lowrider. It's a real shame.

Darth pauses.

This week...it seems Latino Cheat forgot to put away...his belt.

Darth holds up the plastic belt Latino Heat had been carrying around.

It seems he also is a bit too trusting of his body shop.

Darth holds up the keys to the lowrider in his other hand. The camera zooms out. Darth is standing beside it. He places the belt on the ground, directly infront of the newly repaired wheel.

Now, pay close attention, Chicken Shit. This is what will happen later in the ring.

Darth gets in the car and starts it up. The speakers blast the old Latino Heat music.


Monroe: Why is he playing the old music? Does he want to party?

Marcum: That's not the old music! He's playing Latino Chicken Shit!


Darth then drives over the cheap platic belt, first in forward, then in reverse. The camera zooms in. The belt is in pieces. Darth gets out of the car. He looks over the cracked belt.

Not quite what I was hoping for, but I think you get the point. BEWARE THE DARKSIDE.

With that, the cheese-o-tron fades out to a black screen with these words written in red:
This has been a public safety announcement

Is the roster really so thin right now that you have to keep booking me in matches?

Well seeing as you are the ex-heavyweight champion it only makes sense you would be booked!

What he is saying is "I'm a whiney little bitch who is just seeking attention by pretending not to be interested!"

Green Day's "Espionage" hits as King Snarf makes his way to the ring with a steel chair in one hand and a mic in the other. Once in the ring, he folds open the chair and begins to speak.

You know, I tend to be a pretty easy going guy. That stops when someone tries to, oh I don't know, say KILL ME! Someone back there hit me with a motherfucking car, thereby preventing me from winning my #1 contender's match. Now, I don't know for sure who it was, but I'd be willing to bet it was one of those chump's in the so-called "rWo." So, let me just say that this show is not going to continue until whoever ran me down comes out to this very ring and explain himself. And since I don't plan on going anywhere in the immediate future, there's something I want to say to Joe Mama. For weeks, you've been whining about not getting your chance against me. As the old saying goes, "Be careful what you wish for." Well, it just so happens that I haven't been booked for a match. So, if you've got the stones, why don't you come out here and let's have ourselves an Philly-style rules match!

With that, King Snarf rolls out of the ring and lifts up the ring apron while reaching underneath for something. After a minute or two of searching, he pulls out a coil of barbed wire!

The Mouth: Oh my god!

Madman Marcum: What kind of sick bastard keeps barbed wire under a wrestling ring?

King Snarf climbs back into the ring, holds up the barbed wire while the crowd pops, chanting "E-C-W", and then sits in the chair. He places the wire across his lap and looks up towards the Cheese-O-tron....

HOLD IT,HOLD I........FUCKING HOLD IT!
No way would King fucking Snarf ever have been one of my fucking E-C-Dub guys.
No way would a fucking pussy like that have the fucking stones to fight in my fucking organisiation.
Fuck off Snarf,stop pretending you are some kind of fucking hardcore legend,I remember when you were fucking jobbing to Zach Gowen & Funaki!

Disturbing the Peace's "Move Bitch" suddenly blares out of the of the Cheesedome's hi-fi speakers, Heyman turns to see a very pissed off TK behind him. Paul E. scampers away and TK's attention is focused at Snarf, sitting confidently in his chair, clutching the barbed wire just a little tighter.

TK brazenly storms into the ring and kicks the chair from underneath Snarf who immediately stands up, poised to strike. The two battered warriors stare, trying to read each other's agenda. Teek snatches the mic from Snarf's hand...

Motherfuckah, I dunno what drugs you were on that night, but I was the one kicking your punk ass all over this arena last week! I was three seconds from my match with the World Champ... but you were right about one thing - that car cost both of us. Me, my Championship match. You, your genitalia.

A wave of laugher at TK's comment

Sorry dawg, but damn! Spandex is NOT your style! Listen listen... I came out here to talk about reparations. Nah, I ain't gonna get all preachy about slavery. Ya'll motherfuckahs know you still owe us. Naw, I'm talking about immediate reparations. These people didn't get their money's worth at Robblemania XX. That's way I say we give 'em what they paid for tonight... you and me bitch! Let's finish this bullshit in the ring, right NOW!

Wow, I can't believe someone's actually scared of me.

Neither can I.

Maybe I should tone it down...

As King Snarf and TK-069 stare each other down in the ring, Joe and the other member of the rWo prepare for their matches.

BSAMS: Hey Joe! Snarf just called you out for a fight...Something about a Phillie Rules Street Fight. He's got barbed wire.

JM: (not looking up from tying his boots) Yep, I heard him. "Careful what you wish for" and all that shit.

Drzsmith: Are you gonna go out and face him?

JM: Nope. Don't think I am...

BSAMS: But he's callin' you out, You don't go out there, and he starts yappin' that YOU'RE the one dodgin' HIM!

JM: Dodging him? Lemme tell you guys something: One, we've got a match tonight and I'm fixing to give Dr. Midnite the same beating I took from him and his buddies two weeks ago. Two, TK's right. TK was a three-count away from his title shot when someone ran those two down. As far as I'm concerned, TK's got some business to finish and I'm damned if I'm gonna stop him or give that pussy Snarf an excuse for why - YET AGAIN - he can't get the job done by running out there. And three...

DrZS: Three?

JM: Fuck Snarf. I've been chasing him down for how long? And now that he realizes just how irrelevant he is to the RDCW by not even being a part of Havoc, now he's challenging me? Like I'm gonna go out there, all grateful that he's done hiding? Maybe thank him for taking time out of his life to give me the match I should've had a month ago??? Fuck him. I'm rWo...we don't come when we're called like little Power Trip BITCHES! Let Rob and Nowhereman set up the match and I'll wrestle it. Or I'll deliver an ass-kicking when I don't have a match to focus on. But I'm not at Snarf's beck and call.

Finishes lacing up his boots, then looks up with a grin...

JM: Besides, I wanna see what the funny man dug up outta my past. "What's Up With Joe Mama?" He'll find out soon enough...

Meanwhile, back in the ring, the tense stand-off, between TK-069 and King Snarf continues....

Y'know, I didn't come out heree to argue who won the match between us Sunday Night. What I came here for was to find out who was driving that car and exact some payback. See, maybe you hadn't realized this, but that car wasn't aiming for you, and it wasn't aiming for me; it was aiming for us both. That would lead me to believe that someone wanted the both of us out of the title picture. And, given the evidence, my guess would be that it was one of Kamphausen's flunkies.

But apparently, TK, you can't seem to see the big picture. You come down here, runnin' you're mouth, saying that you had me beat. Then you say you want to settle this tonight. Well, if that's what you want, then I say fine. And this time there will be no controversy, because I am going to win. Because, when it comes down to it, TK, you're a man who can't get the job done when it's all on the line. You couldn't do it in your title match against Drszmith, and you couldn't do it Sunday night against me.

I came out here looking to take on the rWo, but I'd be more than happy to take you on right here, right now.

Snarf drops the microphone and stares down at TK...

Madman Marcum: Someone get those two maniacs out of the ring so Rob's World Order can put on a proper show!

Mike "The Mouth" Monroe: I say let 'em go at it! It's what the people want to see!

The two men in the ring continue to glare at each other...

"Darf, Darf, Darf, you silly puta. That's not my belt." *taps belt on his shoulder. "My belt's right here, where it's always been. "

"And's that not even my car. My car is green. That car is purple. Stupid pendajo. While you've been playing smashup derby with toy belts and people's cars, I've been wrestling championship caliber matches against Kurt Angle and Triple H. . ."

*cut to backstage where wrestlers are watching on the monitor as Darf enters the screen.

Darf: "Where is he? I'll kill him!"

Darf attacks some of the wrestlers as the screen continues.


"Oh, and by the way, Darf, you should be meeting some of my friends right about. . .NOW."

A car pulls in out of nowhere, slamming into Darf and knocking him into the windshield. Two men get out and jump him, attacking him with baseball bats, the first is. . .

. . .a muscular hispanic man resembling character actor Danny Trejo, Eddie Guerrero's Wallet aka EGW! He beats on Darf for a bit before handing him over to the next guy. . .

. . .the 400 lb. luchadore known as Senor Muerte! Muerte hits the Puta Bomb on Darf (a Death Valley Driver) dropping him headfirst on the hood of the car while screaming "Muerte wants candy!"

The two men leave Darf laying on the floor as medical technicians attend to him.

"See you at the match, gringo."

As the two men walk back into the arena, a sinister laugh is heard behind them.

Darth: That was good. You even had me going there for a second. Just how much did you pay that poor guy to take that beating anyway?

Before EGW and Muerte can turn around, Darth executes a double sisthspawn. He then flips back to his feet and walks over to the man dressed as Darf, who is being helped slowly back to his feet. Darth leans in close to him.

Darth: You OK? That was some beating you took there.

Darf: I-I'll be fine.

Darth: You gotta a lot of balls, taking a beating like that. I hope they payed you well.

Darf: Yeah, they did.

Darth: So, your done? That's all you came here for tonight?

Darf: Yeah. I'm done.

Darth: Good.

Darth quickly grabs Darf and lifts him up across his shoulders. He then executes the Darkside slam, powerboming Darf back onto the car.

Darth: That one's for free.

Darth walks off and disappears. Darf is out.

Darth wakes up from his dream sequence and sees he's on a gurney.

Darth: "What happened?"

Medic: "Those guys beat your ass and you passed out. You need to go to a hospital."

Darth: "No way, I've got a match. . ."

I don't Lose...........The RwO doesn't Lose......... I am the best damn technical wrestler there is.

Darth! You're breaking kayfabe!

Seriously though, you make a very good point. The posts made by Latino Heat seem to have killed any *ahem* heat (pardon the pun) this thread had.

I think someone should post a set of guidelines for how this forum should work....

Ok, now I'm breaking kayfabe.

Darth, you are no less guilty of any of the things you accuse Latino Heat of. You've come in and sacraficed the character work that anyone else has done simply to make your's more badass than anyone else's. At times you've even worn your gimmick thin with constant reappearances in the ring in one night through the smoke and bullshit. So, when you get pissed at anyone else for doing the same to you, too fucking bad. It's a give and take. Now, both you and Latino Heat need to reevaluate how you're going to approach this and try to keep from killing other wrestlers' work. No more stepping on other posters' characters. That goes for the both of you. Understand?

Oh great, you guys angered the doc!