RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Tuesday Night Havoc: 3/23/04

Although come to think of it, you guys shouldn't feel bad about anything that happens on this thread, since - the way I see it - it's not part of official RDCW continuity but just a thread where we list our finishers.

Oh yeah, and please pray that MOTA and my dad doesn't see RDCW continuity as kosher. Post-Crisis Rob sucks even more than he does now.

EDIT: Oh wait, I thought I was in the FOOLS thread. Please disregard everything I have said above and replace it with this comment: I SUCKED USCHI'S COCK.

Fuck it!

Yeah...what he said.

When we gonna get the play-by-play?

Going kayfabe again:


I'd like to apologize to everyone for my outburst. It was uncalled for, and completely unnecessary. So to everyone here, and especially to Latino Heat: I'm sorry.

To try and correct my mistake, and to give Latino Heat the proper last laugh he deserves, I am going to rewrite my post directly before my outburst.

Please give me a moment.

As the two men walk back into the arena, a sinister laugh is heard behind them.

Darth: That was good. You even had me going there for a second. Just how much did you pay that poor guy to take that beating anyway?

Before EGW and Muerte can turn around, Darth executes a double sisthspawn. He then flips back to his feet and walks over to the man dressed as Darf, who is being helped slowly back to his feet. Darth leans in close to him.

Darth: You OK? That was some beating you took there.

Darf: I-I'll be fine.

Darth: You gotta a lot of balls, taking a beating like that. I hope they payed you well.

Darf: Yeah, they did.

Darth: So, your done? That's all you came here for tonight?

Darf: Yeah. I'm done.

Darth: Good.

Darth quickly grabs Darf and lifts him up across his shoulders. He then executes the Darkside slam, powerboming Darf back onto the car.

Darth: That one's for free.

As Darf is lying, out cold, Darth begins to walk away, when screeching tires are heard in the distance. Darth turns around, but he has no time to react to the lowrider running him down. Darth flies into the windshield, smashing it, and rolls over the lowrider. The same purple lowrider Darth used earlier in his message to Latino Heat. Darth is unconscious before he hits the ground. Moments later, Latino Heat steps out of the lowrider and walks over to Darth's limp body, taking a moment to admire his handiwork before the match.

Fuck it!!

Notwedge enters the Cheesedom still without music or direction as he prepares for his match against former RDCW Heavyweight Champ Velo in a match that could catapult this upstart's career in professional online wrestling. Velo enters the arena, receiving a mixed reaction from the fans. Some signs read "Velo was ROBBED" while others still say "Lieing Deleter." Though, it must be said, that Nowhereman was handing out the last lot of signs outside just before the show. Velo starts off the match with bare bones wrestling. He flips Notwedge with a hiptoss and follows up with a knee to the head as the rookie lay on the mat, trying to regroup his thoughts. An Irish Whip to the ropes and a follow-up shoulder block has Velo dominating the match. Notwedge gets thrown into the corner, but regains his composure and dodges a Flying Splash at the last second so that the former champ could plant his face into the turnbuckle. Notwedge feels a surge of energy as he takes the offensive. He concentrates mostly on Velo's neck with the Camel Clutch and several strikes to the back of the neck. It's all been a set-up for his finishing manuver, the Reverse Monkey Death Drop; but has it all been rushed too soon? Velo reverses and turns the move into a twisting Neckbreaker. He then climbs up onto the top rope for his patented Final Cut (a forward 360 rotation that turns into a Leg Drop). 1-2-3. Velo wins the match. Is this his way of saying that he want to get back the gold that was taken from him at Robblemania?

The tag team that made their prescence know at the pre-Robblemania Havoc are back tonight to let their desire for the Donkey Lovin' Tag Belts be known. Urg and FNB enter the ring with a growing crowd support. Their opponents are rWo'ers Chewy and Backwards7. 7 made the mistake of trying to make it a brawl against the caveman, Urg. That's a mistake he won't be making again. Urg retaliated with a series of hard Forearms Smashes against 7's head. The rWo'ers were able to sneak in a tag, and Chewy came in and took to trying to knock the giant off his feet with rapid kicks and shots to the knee. FNB comes in and gets his own licks in before taking a foot to his gut. The teamwork of Chewy and 7 shine through as Chewy distracts the ref while 7 chokes FNB in the corner. These two have a plan. That's to keep Urg out of the match and to wear FNB down by any means necessary. Chewy tags 7 back in and they hit a Double Suplex. Chewy gets in a few more kicks to FNB's face before the reg steps in. Urg jumps the rope and chases Chewy out of the ring. The two men go crazy as they fight with any and everything around the ring being a possible weapon. On the inside, Backwards7 has set FNB in the corner. He backs away and executes a perfect X-STINK-Tion (a Bronco Buster just as homoerotic as the real thing, but with the arse instead of groin being repeatedly driven into the other man's face). FNB almost vomits as 7 gets the pin for the victory.

The next match was a disgusting abuse of power, if you ask me. Cowgirl Jack, the new Women's Boobie Champion, was forced into the same ring against the behemoth LLance. In a ridiculous display of corruption of card booking, Nowhereman has subjected this young lady to a fate crueler than death. Cowgirl awaits nervously as her opponent takes his time walking to the ring, taunting her the whole way. Once the match is started, LLance offers her a chance to suplex her. Try as she might, she was only able to make the large man laugh as she struggled to move him. He then grabs her and slams her femine frame onto the mat, time and time again. It's all just a big game for LLance as he smiles while circling the ring. Finally, he runs towards to the rope to set up his LLance Belly Flop finisher. But as he hits the ropes, a many runs up on the apron and smashes a steel chair into his head. OH MY GOD! IT'S GRIMM! IT'S GRIMM! He doesn't have time to stop and celebrate as Rob's own security team is hot on his trail. Grimm jumps the rail and make his exit through the audience with security nipping at his heels. Cowgirl comes to and rolls over to get the 3 count. Before the ref can even raise her hand, she grabs her belt and darts out of the arena.

Doc. Mid-Nite enters the ring for his handicap match against rWo's Drzsmith, Joe Mama, and current Heavyweight Cheese champ BSAMS. Doc. went in knowing what he needed to to. With a wrapped up pair of brass knuckles in his fist, he attacked Joe Mama and Drzsmith, putting them out of the fight. BSAMS was able to dodge Doc.'s blow and follow up with a series of Knife-edge Chops and knees to the mid-section. In the tussle, the brass knucks are dropped and kicked out of the ring. Doc. is able to trade blows with the champion. He seemed to be saying that he too wants a shot at the precious title. Or maybe he was just striking back at the deception that the rWo had played on everyone, especially the Power Trip, at Robblemania. They go at it like wild animals. BSAMS hits a Drop Kick to the jaw. Doc. gets a hard Spine-buster onto the mat. Kicks, punches, slams, flips, and tosses galore as these two men battle it out. Each men bounce off the rope and both go for the Shoulder Block. They collide and throw each other to the mat. As Doc. pulls himself up with the ropes, he flashes the signal that he wants to go for the Lights Out. As he turns, he gets a face full of his own brass knucks as Drzsmith returns to the match. BSAMS slaps on the Figure-4 Leg lock as Joe Mama comes off the top rope with the Flying Teabag Slam. Joe and Drzsmith make the cover while BSAMS keeps the Figure-4 locked in. A three count and the match is all over.

For the main event, a rivalry that has just started, but seems to be gathering steam. The hooded stranger Darth steps into the ring with the Lightweight champion PJP and another new member to the roster Latino Heat, who, for some reason, is under the impression that he is the WWE champion Eddie Guerrero. The most notable thing about this match is it's Crackhead Lumberjack stipulation. These men will have to stay in the ring or face the brutality of crackheads placed outside the ring. They are given an anything goes mandate by the promotion when it comes to punishing the wrestlers for leaving the ring. Latino Heat takes the initiative and goes for Darth. His smaller frame allows him to use agility against Darth. PJP follows suit and assists the Latin wrestler wear down their opponent. They toss him over the ropes, where he takes a beating at the hands of the crackheads.

Marcum: If Darth is smart, he left his wallet in the locker room.


PJP then turns his attention to Latino Heat. The two fight it out as Darth begins to retaliate outside the ring, trying to fight his way back into the match. Latino Heat is able to fight PJP into a corner and mounts the middle ropes to send a series of punches into PJP's face. But as he gets to punch number 4, Darth reenters the ring and pulls Latino Heat down from the top rope and onto the mat. Darth sets his sights on the WWE Champion and even pushes PJP out of the ring when the Lightweight Champ tried to get in on the action. PJP fights on the outside as a swarm of crackheads converge on him.

Marcum: Must make him feel right at home.

Darth stomps away on Latino Heat in the corner before picking him up and tossing him over the rope to the Lumberjacks waiting outside. Suprisingly, Latino Heat is able to stand up on his own, unmolested by the crackheads.

Marcum: He's a true champion. Even crackheads respect real champs

Latino Heat smiles as grabs Darth's legs and pulls him under the bottom rope and onto the floor. Latino Heat joins the crackheads as they put their boots to Darth's back. He then slides into the ring for a little celebration as both his opponents fight for their lives in the midsts of the Crackhead Lumberjacks.

Marcum: It's a lot like Christmas at Grandma's.

Darth makes his way back into the ring and limps towards Latino Heat. The two tangle with Heat having the clear advantage. But then PJP roles back into the ring. His adrenaline is pumping and he's fighting mad as he tears through his compitition like a tornado through a trailer park. Heat and Darth both try and get back to their feet, but just wind up getting knocked down again and again. PJP hits a Missle Drop Kick from the top rope to knock Heat through the ropes and out of the ring. For Darth, PJP has a Northern Lights Suplex with a bridge to pick up the three count and the match.

PJP stands in the ring victorious when suddenly "Anarchy in the UK" by the Sex Pistols blasts out of the Shite-ontron.
Nowhereman walks down to the ring flanked by fellow rWo members,Joe Mama,bsams,Dave & Drzsmith.

NM:"Ok all you people here just witnessed something here,you all witnessed an rWo member once again show the rest of the locker room what a real winner is!"

PJP:"Damn straight!"

NM:"Now,as you know after the abysmal performance by Danny at Robblemania we had to relieve him of his membership in THE premiere organisation in wrestling history. It all about trimming away the fat,its all about exclusive membership & its all about being thes best. Another thing its about is dedication and I have bad news for all you fans of the rWo!"

*Boos from the crowd

NM:"Yeah,yeah whatever! Anyway back to what I was saying before you ass-clowns..." *looks at camera & winks"(thanks Jericho!).........before you ass-clowns interupted me! I have recently discovered that a member of the world renowned rWo lacks that dedication!"

PJP cocks his head in a quizical manner!

NM:"This rWo member seems to think that being a member or the rWo is just about image & hanging with the `Cool' guys,well its about time we put a stop to that!"

With a quick nod of Nowheremans head the members of the rWo beat down PJP!

After the beating is over & PJP lays unconcious in the ring the rWo raise their hands in victory & the crowd is noticibly shocked.

Suddenly Rob Kamphausens image appears on the Shite-ontron screen.
Rob:"Noice,very noice,oh and by the way,Nowhereman wasnt talking about PJP!"

And without warning Nowhereman delivers a devastating Fuck Off Slam to Joe Mama!

Rob:"Trimming the fat guys,trimming the fat...........MWAH HA HA!!"

So... Who're the faces and who're the heels?

There are no faces!

......but Llance has several chins!

*Cowgirl Jack beats Nowhereman with a metal trash can for the unfair matching. Then she hops into her yellow Mustang convertable to meet the Doc and Grimm at Steak n' Shake.*

this chick is pretty nice

lesbians rule!

I'm glad Joe Mama's gone........and guys thanks for the beat down.......I had that one coming. I'm a better RwO member because of it. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

Piss off,you aint rWo anymore ya lil wannabe!

hey, pjp

say hello to the bad guys

What kind of idiot trusts guys like us?

If I'm Not RwO anymore I'm going to make sure I make each and every one of you pay..........Your lives will become pure hell...........This is War!!!

Ooooooooh......shakin in mah booties!