RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Tuesday Night Havoc: 4/13/04

Handicap Match single choice

King Snarf (47%, 16 Votes)

Dave/Drzsmith/Backwards7 (53%, 18 Votes)

Total Votes: 34 Voting on this poll ends: 2025-03-13 3:30 PM

Tag Match single choice

Velo & Soy un perdedor (47%, 16 Votes)

Son of Mxy & Joe Mama (53%, 18 Votes)

Total Votes: 34 Voting on this poll ends: 2025-03-13 3:30 PM

Lightweight Singles Non-Title Match single choice

Pariah (42%, 14 Votes)

PJP (58%, 19 Votes)

Total Votes: 33 Voting on this poll ends: 2025-03-13 3:30 PM

Singles Match single choice

Bibbo (44%, 15 Votes)

Doc. Mid-Nite (56%, 19 Votes)

Total Votes: 34 Voting on this poll ends: 2025-03-13 3:30 PM

No DQ Match single choice

I-Man (44%, 15 Votes)

TK-069 (56%, 19 Votes)

Total Votes: 34 Voting on this poll ends: 2025-03-13 3:30 PM

I have to fight my nephew?

That's not cool, man.

How the hell did I end up in pro wrestling?

That makes me MAD. I'm going to rip Snarf's head off and use it as a book end for all my law books!

You heard me Snarf! Come on out here and we'll change your diapers for you, you little mommy's boy!

Oh, I see, too busy knitting socks with your granny? I thought you find daffodils in a garden, not pretending to be a pro-wrestler.

I'm the champ and no couch potato needlepoint boy is gonna stand in my way!

Thats my boy!

RAAAR!

I'm wearing sunglasses indoors! And the only way Snarf is gonna get them off my face is if he gets down on his widdle knees, clasps his widdle hands, and says, "Please, Mr Dave, please take them off, they frighten me!"

And I'll say, "Sure, son!", and take them off, and then clothesline Snarf right across the chest for being such a mommy's boy!

That was beautiful,it brought a tear to my eye!

*SMACK!* A chair is wrapped around Son of Mxy's head with incredible force as Doc grabs the cameraman as he attempts to flee

Doc Mid-Nite - "If you don't keep that camera on me, I'll "Blackout Bomb" you straight through this table, you little son of a bitch. The only person who gets paid to run around here like a little girl is Now-What-Man".

Doc Mid-Nite turns around and glares deep into the camera and says "Bibble-Babble, Big-Bingo-Bibbo-Bitch (or whatever your name is...?) I don't got beef with you. My beef is with the "Nowheretobefoundman" and his stickin' me in some Lightweight Division, when he damn well knows that "The D.O.C" is the man that truly makes the RDCW go round! He knows I've always been the "icon on ice" just waiting for my singles oppurtunity".

"I threw down the gauntlet. I threw up the three's and formed the Triple Set. I was the one he didn't see comin' up. I came here to make some noise, and if The Good Doctor doesn't get his chance at a singles title soon, he's gonna have to start ringing some heads!!!"

Respect The Set:III

Jesus Christ! Since when did Dave get to be so darn cool?

((Just moving this, I posted it in the wrong place. ))

*Nw walks out to the ring to no music. He's carrying a gym bag.*

Nw: Hello everyone and thank you for that warm welcome. Now, I know I've been talking a lot about my entrance at Re-Hash so I've been a little worried that Velo may be feeling a little neglected. Let me assure you, I've been thinking about that rotten, not good, cheating lying deleter! You see, we've been signed up for a "don't piss your pants" match where the winner is the one who makes the othert guy piss his pants. No way to cheat, because there are no other rules. Now just in case my dazzling entrace is not enough to make Velo piss his pants, I have a little something planned for him. I'm going to give him one of my world famous beatings, and then I'm going to bend him over and whip out something menacing...

*NW pauses for a moment, and then he reaches into his gym bag and pulls out a baseball bat. The bat is wrapped in barbed wire and the barbed wire has rags stuck to it.*

Now, I haven't soaked the rags in lighter fluid yet, because that would just be crazy, you know? But I will at rehash. If a flaming, barbed wire bat doesn't make you piss your pants, i doubt anything will!

*At this point, an emu walks out from behind the curtains and out onto the stage.*

Damn it, got out of the cage...

*Nw chases the emu backstage. As usual, no music plays as he leaves.*

*outta character while I'm still suspended*


I didn't even think Dave liked wrestling. This is awesome!

You're right! I AM AWESOME!

Someone pop the champagne back in my dressing room and tell the girls to get ready for my massage! This bout is going to be over before you can say, "Snarf's head is as tough to open as an unbuttoned blouse!"

From this hour onwards, the name "Snarf" will be only associated with pastel colours, fashionable handbags, and delicate lace embroidery!

Yoo-hoo!

I think widdle Snarfie is a bit too fwightened to come out of his dwessing woom.

Can someone pwease go and hold his hand? Tell him Uncle Dave has a pwesent for him.... it begins with "D" and ends in "2000" and comes all wrapped up in a nice pink wibbon!

As Dave continues to look up the rampway, the crowd starts to cheer wildly. Dave turns around, and there's King Snarf with a steel chair! Snarf knocks Dave down & then grabs a mic.

Y'know, I've been hearing a lot of folks talk about me recently. They've said that since I wasn't one of the members of the Triple Set that defeated the Aussie Scumbags, I've got no business defending the tag-titles. They say that given TK's victory over me at Havoc two weeks ago, I have no business being in the 3-way dance for the World Title at Re-Hash. And they say that there's no way in hell I'm going to manage to win both my matches at Re-Hash. Well, let me tell you something. I don't give a damn about what everyone else may say. I'm going to defy the odds. And I'm going to start tonight by beating the holy hell out of the 3 rWo members who are facing me tonight. Including... *King Snarf drops donw to luck at the semi-conscious Dave* this piece of human flotsam right. You and me, Dave. Tonight!

Sorry, I couldn't quite hear you! My ear is blocked? I seem to have...what is it? Sperm? Sperm in my ear?

Well it makes sense.... there is a whole heap of jissum flying out of your mouth!

Someone get me a Q-tip! Better make it a mop - Snarf's diapers are leaking again!

Now...

We've been hearing a lot of TALK from Snarf...

We've been hearing a lot of BLUSTER...

We've been hearing a lot of HOT-AIR....

But have we been hearing any CHEST-THUMPING? No!

"Chest" is the wrong word! All we've been hearing is "MANBOOB-THUMPING"!

Someone tell me the time!

What's that? "Elbow O'Clock"?

Its time to teach Snarf not to fondle his tits in public!

I'm sorry, I couldn't quite make that out. Dave, next take Nowhereman's dick out of your mouth before speaking.

Y'know, I was under the impression that Australia's biggest exports were beer and Yahoo Serious films, but apparently theire main export is insane, rambling diatribes worthy of the Ultimate Warrior himself, because that seems to be the only thing Dave is capable of producing!

Momentarily out of character

Dave's got some great promos. Props.

Back in character

Hopefully these two ass-champs will destroy each other. Then the RDCW can get back to the business of providing great matches for the fans. Oh, by the way...King Snarf? Tick tick, pal...time's runnin' out...

Apparently Dave's at a loss for words. Fortunately, I've taken the liberty of hiring a speech-writer to help Dave out. In fact, here''s Dave's newest promo.

"Please don't hurt me, King Snarf! I'm sorry I said all those horrible, nasty things about you. I only did it because I'm so jealous of your dashing good looks, incredible athletic prowess, and of course, your rapier wit. I am just a whiny little pussy!"

Sorry, I was just off talking to your dentist and assuring him I wouldn't put you in too much agony!

Did you say something? I thought I heard the words, "Oh Lord please don't make me suffer when Dave eats me for breakfast in a cage match! Please don't let me bleed too much!"

Well, Snarf, you better not bleed too much, because we're using all the mops already to clean up your overflowing diapers!

You didn't say that? Maybe I've just become telepathic! There is some good promo stuff in there....

Dave the Telepathic vs Snarf the Pathetic!

And in that order!

Now, we've heard a lot of RASH PROMISES from Snarf...

We've heard a lot of LOOSE TALK....

We've heard a lot of GARBLED NONSENSE....

But I plan to put a stop to the verbal diahorrea when I tie your tongue into a knot and knock your teeth out! Your dentist says we can use your front tooth as a tombstone for dead cockroaches! I'm sorry, Snarf, I wasn't aware your identical twin had passed away!

Now as far as I'm concetrned we should get onto this warm up match before I face the real event, the only man who can beat me....yes, an Evil Twin Cloned Version of Myself!

I don't know whether to pity all the women out there for now having a choice, or congratulate them for thier good taste!

Ha! I'm joking! Even medical science couldn't duplicate the wonder of Me!

Everyone should tell Snarf to give up now! Won't somebody think of the children?

Returns from beating up Chris Oakley in time to see Dave's newest promo.

http://www.rkmbs.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=263344&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1

JM: Wow. I hate to admit it, but I gotta agree with Dave on that one. Snarf does have a tendency to run his mouth without backing himself up.

SoM: Isn't Dave RwO?

JM: Yep...damn shame.

See,now you see why I kept Dave & got rid of Danny!
Dave hates us all & thats what makes him rWo through & through!

Y'know Dave, that's a lot of big talk from a guy who's gonna have two other guys helpin' him in his match tonight! I, on the other hand, am the equivalent of ten men!

Thats not saying much when you consider those ten men are all dead!

File under "Balding Freak!"

Argh! my eyes!

The instrumental to We Will Rock You is played over the speakers as PenWing makes his way to ring. He is wearing an old-time Red Wings' Gordie Howe jersey, and carrying a Sherwood hockey stick.


Wow! It's good to be back, although my doctors would rather I stay home. See, they still haven't cleared me to officially return yet. Something about my tests still not matching up with the ones they took before the concussion. But, then, they took those before I joined the RDCW, and as we all know, you gotta be nuts just to step into the ring.

So, why the early return? Well, it seems someone here may have stepped off the deep end. That's right, Oakers, I'm talking about you. Man, what is wrong with you? You want to go 1 on 4 against Dave, the Captain of Outer Space, Roy Batty, AND Sneaky Bunny!? And you want to do it in a steal cage, with no rules!? Dude, your NUTS! And to top that off, you have managed to piss off Nowhereman too! Damn! Talk about being short handed.

Well, maybe I got here too late to do anything about this, but, Nowhereman, if you're not dead-set on putting Oakers in that match with Roy Batty next week, I'd like to challenge him to an old-time hockey fight. The rules are simple. We each step into the ring, one-on-one. We each get one weapon of choice. Oh, and this is a 10 count. If that doesn't set Oakers straight, well then, I don't know what will.

So, if you're interested, Oakers, and if Nowhereman says it's cool, I'm just itching to try out this new Sherwood.

What do ya say?

(House of Pain's "Jump Around" blares from the speakers as Chris comes down to the ring toting a Bauer hockey stick and wearing a Boston Bruins Andrew Raycroft jersey)

PenWing,I've got just two words for you:You're on!

(huge pops from the crowd)

I can't wait to break this Bauer over your head.See you next Tuesday,sucker.

(starts to walk back to the locker room,then stops and turns around for just a second)

And Roy,I haven't forgotten about you...you can count on meeting me again real soon.

(heads back to the locker room as "Jump Around" starts up again)

G

A

Y

D

E

A

D!

Well, folks, the Havoc leading into Rehash was quite the show, with hard hitting, exciting matches all the way around! I even got so excited, I knocked out Mike Monroe and took his place as the recapper!

First up, Triple Set member King Snarf took one three opponents in three matches in a bout that he actually demanded to have as a warmup to Rehash! Man, what was this guy thinking? Snarf took on three rWo members in three consecutive bouts: Dave, former heavyweight cheese champ Drzsmith, and backwards7.

The first bout was a table match. As Snarf and Dave fought all the way through the ringside area in a crowd pleasing brawl, smashing each other with punches, kicks, and elbows. The end nearly came for Snarf (and woulda served the egomaniac right, too) when Dave dropped him with a chair shot outside the ring and placed him on the table at ringside. Dave began taunting Snarf from the top rope as he prepared to launch his devastating finisher, the Elbow of Doooooom! (Yes, that's six zeroes, that's how bad this move hurts!)

However, Dave taunted his opponent for too long, allowing Snarf's tag partner, Doc. Mid-Nite, to run to ringside and shove Dave off of the rope! Dave went through the table as Snarf moved away in time, winning the match.

No rest for Snarf, though, as Drzsmith immediately hit the ring and went on a tear through his already weakened opponent! This match was a Falls Count Anywhere bout. Somehow, Snarf managed to hang on through the bout, repeatedly managing to kick out of the former champ's pin attempts. Growing ever more frustrated, the Doctor signaled to backwards to distract the ref while he went for his dreaded slapjack! As Doc prepared to nail Snarf with the slapjack, the Women's Boobie champion Cowgirl Jack this time appeared at ringside, distracting the rWo member with several flirtatious moves. As Drzsmith flirted with the Cowgirl, Snarf snuck up behind him and clobbered him a stop sign, nailing him with a Bastard Bomb, and pinning right as the ref turned away from backwards.

The Cowgirl had no time to celebrate at ringside, however, as she was quickly jumped by newcomer to the women's division, Sneaky Bunny! These two fought at ringside in a catfight brawl that had the fans (and me!) screaming for more!

Snarf's last bout for the evening would be a ladder match against rWoer backwards7. Snarf somehow managed to carry on, taking the fight to backwards as both men made several attempts to climb the ladder. Snarf would not be as lucky in this bout, however as the current Heavyweight Cheese champ, Bsams, hit the ring and knocked him out with the championship belt! This allowed backwards to climb the ladder, winning the match!

But it wasn't over, as the rWo stormed the ring in force, laying a beatdown on the already finished Snarf. As Dave and Nowhereman pounded on Snarf, they were jumped by Doc. Mid-Nite and Lothar! Incredibly, TK-069 jumped in the ring and attacked the champ, Bsams! The brawl seemed to be even for a while until the superior numbers of the rWo took control.

Then when they had the upper hand, the arena lights went out, and suspended Power Trip and Triple Set member Grimm's entrance video started playing on the Cheese-O-Tron! The fans went wild, however, no Grimm appeared.

Only the following message showed on the Cheese-O-Tron:

RDCW Rehash 2004
The future is. . .

GRIMM

This distracted the rWo long enough for Snarf and the others to escape back to the locker room, rather than take their rightful beatdown.

The next match was a tag team encounter between former champ, Kristogar Velo, his new partner Soy un Perdador, and the new team of rookies Joe Mama and 2nd gen. star Son of Mxy! This was a wild bout that saw all four men unleash tactics the fans had not seen from them previously. Soy and Son of Mxy engaged in some wild aerial maneuvers, bringing the crowd to their feet!

The veterans, Soy and Kristogar, however, trapped the rookie SoM in their corner, where Velo threatened to unleash his dreaded finisher, the G'nort Leg Lift! Joe Mama made the save, taking out Velo with an axhandle from behind and dragging his partner to their own corner. Velo tagged out to Soy as the ref moved Joe back outside to the apron. As the two vets continued to work on the second generation star, Velo became distracted by a fan at ringside.

This was no ordinary fan however, this was Notwedge! Screaming loudly about how "he bought his ticket" fair and square. (Goofy dude was still wearing that mask at ringside, too.) As Notwedge distracted Velo with his antics, SoM tagged out to Joe Mama who entered the ring a house afire! (What does that mean anyway?) Knocking Velo off the ring apron with an elbow to the back of the head, JM quickly turned his attention back to Soy, nailing him with an East Coast Hammer! As he tagged to his partner, SoM came off the bottom turnbuckle with the Death Comet for the pin!

The next bout was a non-title lightweight match, as champ PJP continued his string of battles against Pariah! These two went at it, nose to nose, giving no quarter and asking none in return! The high flying moves were complemented with actual mat wrestling, as Pariah worked over PJP's arms in an attempt to set up his finisher, the Continuity Clutch. (This move quite closely resembles a Camel Clutch. )

PJP eventually managed to turn the tide of this match, hitting his foe with two(!) Erectile Dysfunction piledrivers, before placing him in the Twisted Penis hold. The ref signaled for the bell as Pariah was already unconscious and unable to tap. Pariah eventually recovered, however, and attacked PJP in the back afterwards, loudly demanding a rematch!

Our next bout would be a preview of Rehash, as tag champ Doc. Mid-Nite took on one half of returning tag team legends, Punch/Counterpunch: Bibbo! Bibbo's brother, I-Man accompanied him to ringside for this encounter. Fellow Power Trip member, Lothar, accompanied Doc. Mid-Nite, as his tag partner for Rehash, Snarf was still recovering in the locker room.

These two went at it in what can only be a called a pier sixer, as I-Man and Lothar were quickly removed from ringside by the ref, in an attempt to keep control.

Bibbo worked over Mid-Nite with several suplexes and slams in an attempt to set up his famed Ace O' Spades powerbomb maneuver. As he went for the move, however, Mid-Nite reversed into a Blackout Bomb, then quickly went for a Nite-cap to finish his opponent, and the match.


Bibbo's partner, I-Man would next take on number one contender for the heavyweight title, TK-069. TK was accompanied to ringside by women's contenders Butterrican and Stareena! TK asked the ladies to leave, however, fearing the danger that could occur during the match with his powerful opponent.

Anxious to get the match underway, I-Man clotheslined his foe from behind, and went on the attack with several powerslams and suplexes.

The tide turned as TK managed to reverse an irish whip into the turnbuckle, then followed up with a devastating enzuguiri! It was about this time that Heavyweight champ, Bsams returned to ringside to watch the match. TK, motioned for the champ to enter the ring, and held open the ropes.

The champ only responded with an "Ut!" however, keeping TK distracted long enough for I-Man to recover, and hit him with a running kneestrike. The two continued on back and forth until TK managed to hit the Orchepocalypse out of nowhere! Following this move up with the Flying Negra splash, TK took the win, and the momentum going into Rehash!

After the match, Bsams stormed the ring and jumped TK from behind with the belt! Beating his Rehash opponent down and taunting him. TK was saved however, by King Snarf! Snarf hit the ring and went after the champ, eventually nailing him with a Wildsault!

TK recovered, only to see Snarf standing in the ring. As Snarf turned around, he was face to face with TK! The two men looked as they were ready to attack one another when TK extended a wary hand. Snarf looked to the crowd, questioning whether he should accept the truce.

Before he could decide, however the rWo returned to ringside, and laid both men out. The show ended as the rWo celebrated in the ring.