Something like this is better:
Sorry to spoil your weekend, Rob, but a major and very nasty situation has developed between me and I'm Not Mr. Mxyptlk. For the past week or so, he's been trying to create the false impression of a non-existent romantic link between me and Sneaky Bunny. The truth is, I hate Sneaky Bunny, ever since she accused me of decorating my walls with "Got Milk?" ads; however, instead of retracting his claim, Mxy has tried to solidify it by posting an obviously doctored photo of me next to Sneaky Bunny in the Off Topic/Offensive Posts forum. and now, as if that wasn't bad enough, the little bastard posed as my parents in a message alleged to be an "apology" for all my supposed shortcomings. Now, there's a fine line between simply being offensive and being just plain evil, and Mxy has repeatedly and deliberately crossed that line where I'm concerned.
Now, it's obvious he's not going to let this drop, so realistically, the only real solution to the problem is to ban him from the message boards permanently. I don't like getting into flame wars, but there is no way on Earth I'm going to let Mxy spread these bogus rumors about me and get away with it. After all the garbage I've had to put up with at his hands, I think I can finally start to understand to a certain degree how FNB acquired such a dark view of the world at large--he must have encountered someone like Mxy who constantly and intentionally went out of their way to give him a hard time, and it made him as furious as I'm feeling right now. Mxy claims to be a servant of the truth, but frankly, he doesn't have the slightest clue what the truth is all about. And more to the point, he doesn't care about the truth. I wish there was a less drastic solution than banning, but I can't think of one. It's obvious Mxy can't take a hint unless it's applied with a sledgehammer.
