Rage Against The Machine's "Township Rebellion" plays. Out comes Joe Mama, walking to the ring with purpose. As he enters the ring he makes a "cut" gesture. The music stops.

JM: I'm here, King Snarf, because, at last week's Hangover, I told these fans that I had an announcement for you. And, unlike you, I keep my promises to the fans. So let me just cut to the chase. Months ago, you stood in this ring and cut into my mic time. You issued a challenge, which I accepted. Then you did everything in your power to avoid facing me in any kind of match. You hid behind the Doctor. You hid behind the Triple Set. You hid and dodged and got booked in all sorts of matches to avoid facing me. You even had an run for a title that YOU KNOW you didn't deserve.

Meanwhile, I competed in any and every match I could. I faced your pals in the Triple Set. I wrestled LLance. I was in tag matches and singles matches, all with an eye towards finishing what you started. I lost focus of the Hardcore Porno belt. I got soft, and that cost me my spot in the RwO.

At the mention of the RwO, the crowd starts booing.

JM: Yeah...go ahead and boo. They deserve it, just like I deserved to get the boot. The fact is, I was a future hardcore legend and I let my potential slip away because of a stupid non-feud with someone who had neither the guts nor the integrity to face me. I realize, Snarf, that you are NEVER gonna step up and give me a one-on-one match. You fear me, and rightly so. So, in the interest of wanting a fresh start, and to regain my focus, this is my announcement.

I am done chasing you. You aren't worth my time or my effort. Tonight's match will be the first and only time I push to get in a ring with you.

The crowd is shocked

JM: Instead, I'm going to focus on winning the Inter-cunt-inental Title tonight. And I'm committing to helping Son of Mxy win championship gold, whether solo or with me as his tag team partner. I've got a few other plans, but none of them involve you, Snarf. I'm done chasing you around for a match that you obviously don't have the sack to wrestle. (Joe turns to the crowd) So really, the only thing left to say is "God help you on your match with me and Nowherefag tonight" and...

Joe spins and hits King Snarf in the left temple with what's obviously a loaded fist. Joe uses the East Coast Hammer on King Snarf, then continues to pound on King Snarf with the loaded right. Joe stands...

JM: "TAG! YOU'RE IT, SNARF!!!"

The crowd is cheering and booing. Joe Mama opens his right fist to reveal...

JM: Oh, and just in case you're thinking of cutting your losses and ignoring me again, here's a little something for you. Consider it a wedding gift for you and Nowhereman...

It's a set of car keys on a keychain that has a valet ticket on it. The ticket clearly says "J13". The Cheese-O-Tron comes alive, showing a parking space marked "J13". In the spot is the same rust-colored El Camino that ran down King Snarf. Joe drops the keys on King Snarf's chest.

JM: That right, Snarf. I did it. How you didn't figure it out is beyond me. But now you know. See you at the match, bitch.

Joe Mama exits the ring and makes his way through the crowd, leaving King Snarf bloody on the mat.

Uschi said:
I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry.

MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost!

"I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock

[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]