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Posts: 2,377
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Joined: Oct 2003
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Did you ever see that Blonde midget that was on a MTV show a couple years ago?
I had a major crush on her.
now known as rex
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 2,377
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Quote:
i reached under my shirt and pulled my tits out of my bra at my desk today. when i got so turned on from my nipples rubbing on my shirt, i went into the ladies room and masturbated.
now known as rex
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 2,377
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Quote:
I like lopsided titties. Is that weird? Of course, I also like even ones, but being lopsided does not detract. Something about how natural that is... I don't know. I hate fake boobs that look like someone stuffed two basketballs under their skin.
now known as rex
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920
devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920 |
There's other sins besides lust, you know.
I think it's funny because so many people are honest there. Silly pathetic honest people.
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Joined: Jun 2002
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Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
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Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
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Posts: 24,593 |
This is the second best one so far: Quote:
I work as an auditor with the federal government. I get paid 80k/year, get great benefits, 6 weeks of vacation, 18 paid holidays, and as much personal time as I can think up reasons to use (last year I took personal time to grieve for the death of a great uncle -- I did my grieving while scuba diving in Costa Rica). The best part is, when I'm at work , I dont really do anything. I close my door and download crap off the internet. Sometimes I even sleep. I use a government SUV as my own ride. Once during a performance review, they suggested that I was not doing my fair share. I threatened to get a lawyer and they backed down. The best part is YOUR paying for it!
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet." Our Friendly Neighborhood Ray-man said: "no, the doctor's right. besides, he has seniority."
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28
Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28 |
Quote:
I jerk of over porn on my computer but sometimes forget to get sum toilet paper in so I have to whipe my cum off with a candy wrapper which hurts so once i used my hand and tried to eat it too but it tasted bad.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 2,377
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I wrote one saying I posted at rkmbs.com.
Then I read the terms of agreement and it said no url's are allowed.
now known as rex
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,826
cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,826 |
i once ate almost an entire loaf of bread, toasted with butter, in one sitting because there was nothing else i wanted to eat and i had nothing better to do. okay...i lied. i had better things to do.
signed llance
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,425
1000+ posts
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Quote:
I am male and I am so addicted to gay porn and showing myself to other men on my webcam. It's disgusting but I love the attention. I think about other guy's dicks all day. I don't have sex with men but I think about being a sex slut for a lot of the guys I see on the street.
Rob... 
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 2,377
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Quote:
once ate 4 mars bars whilst having a shit!
Looks like LLance has known about this site for a while!
now known as rex
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Joined: Oct 2000
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,826 |
Quote:
rexstardust said:
Quote:
once ate 4 mars bars whilst having a shit!
Looks like LLance has known about this site for a while!
thats not llance.
it says "once"
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009 |
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,826
cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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Posts: 45,826 |
i sucked my friend's boyfriend's dick for a Cigarette, he was cute though. hybrid...
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,826
cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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Posts: 45,826 |
holy crap, some of these things are funny. im laughing my ass off at work!
from the gluttony section
Today for lunch, I almost finished my entire garden burger. Nah-hah, fat people read this.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28
Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28 |
Quote:
01/16/2001 at 01:23:38
I just ate a whole canister of raisins. I will probably have the shits for years now.
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Is there anyway we could have a RKMB award for websites? I think this site would be a great nominee.
now known as rex
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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Posts: 45,826 |
chewy used to be responsible for such awards
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28
Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28 |
Quote:
11/04/2001 at 19:35:37
i took the biggest poo of my life today. i broke the surface, it was so huge that i had to leave it there and call my friends in to look at it, then when i looked awaythe dog began to drink the water, i was scared if i flushed id loose my poo so i left my dog to lick it... why let a good piece of shit go to waste???
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28
Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28 |
Quote:
I talk on the internet to random people out of bordom at my 9 to 5 job. I humour most of them but in all honesty, these people are complete losers that can't go out into public to meet others. I need to stop now so that way I dont' get addicted chatting with a bunch of geeks. I am so much better than all of that.
okay, Rob. Not cool.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,826
cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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Posts: 45,826 |
giant picture
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,859
Gothic Do-gooder 2500+ posts
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Gothic Do-gooder 2500+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,859 |
Quote:
11/06/2002 at 23:38:00
One time I was fucking around with these 2 guys in Atlanta. They were insatiable and let me take turns fucking them with my big hard dick. So I'm getting sucked by one and start fucking his face really hard. All of a sudden I look down and see blood. I'd fucked his face so hard that he ripped his tongue on his own teeth and was bleeding like crazy. I nearly passed out right there.
These are freaky...
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Shiny!
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,859
Gothic Do-gooder 2500+ posts
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Gothic Do-gooder 2500+ posts
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Posts: 2,859 |
...but not this one, this one is funny. Quote:
10/06/2000 at 02:33:55
I just want to fick every girl I meet
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Shiny!
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,859
Gothic Do-gooder 2500+ posts
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Gothic Do-gooder 2500+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,859 |
Quote:
02/24/2004 at 21:05:02
I am a telemarketer. It really makes me smile when I think that telemarketing is a direct result of American capitalism. Listening to people whine and complain about how they receive so many calls. They don't realize that in a consumer driven society, telephone marketing is a necessary evil.For eight hours a day I call people, day in and day out, with a half an hour lunch break. When people answer the phone and scream obscenities at me and then proceed to hang up (even if they ask to be put on the do not call list), I like to code their number into the computer so they get a call every ten minutes. Then I secretly hope that the next call they receive will be the one that gives them an anuerysm or stroke, and that they fall to their knees then the floor in a state of paralysis with the phone still clutched firmly in their hands. Then, unable to reach the receiver to dial 911 they slowly die accepting my 'telemarketing call' which ironically is life insurance, then tell them they did not qualify, hang up on them, and let them die alone, with the knowledge that their loves ones won't be their to comfort them. Sometimes I'll talk with a person who is so polite courteous and enthusiastic that my entire day changes and the next obscene, narrow minded shallow end of the gene pool uneducated backwater ill mannered invertebrate I talk to doesn't upset me.
[/quote
This is like internet crack...I need to stop.
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Shiny!
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28
Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28 |
Quote:
I want to marry a man with lots of money and cars and apartment suites in NYC. I want a prenuptial agreement so I can leave him and take half of his earnings. Like Cyndi Lauper once sang.. 'Money Changes Everything.'
um...so wouldn't she not want a prenup then?
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 24,593
Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
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Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 24,593 |
She apparently stupid. Some rich guy needs to find her, have her sign the prenup, marry her. and then ditch her right before the first anniversary.
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet." Our Friendly Neighborhood Ray-man said: "no, the doctor's right. besides, he has seniority."
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920
devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920 |
I submitted one but I don't think they're gonna post it...
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28
Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28 |
I've submitted 3 or 4. I don't see why they wouldn't cuz they sound real.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920
devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920 |
There's a search engine, so it's possible to find them.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,826
cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,826 |
Quote:
thedoctor said:
She apparently stupid.
heh. leader buggin.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 2,377
2000+ posts
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2000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 2,377 |
Quote:
06/10/2004 at 08:47:58
I jerked off today to the Teletubbies.
Thats just wrong.
now known as rex
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Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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He tastes of America 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080 |
Quote:
06/09/2004 at 18:40:08
Every man i meet, i wonder what his penis looks like.
Joe Mama...
He fixes the cable?
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618
Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
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Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618 |
Quote:
I'm too good for you anyway you stupid gutless effeminite user. Die. Stop wasting my oxygen on your useless presence.
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618
Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
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Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618 |
Quote:
I fucked a friends fiance.. then they broke up. Nice tits though.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,425
1000+ posts
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1000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,425 |
Quote:
Rob Kamphausen said:
i sucked my friend's boyfriend's dick for a Cigarette, he was cute though.
hybrid...
Hmmm... why aren't yours in quot-
Uh... 
Nevermind.
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618
Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
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Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618 |
Quote:
Everytime i see a chick I think to myself 'i wander if she does anal?'
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618
Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
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Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618 |
Quote:
I think many girls would like to be fucked up the ass, but find it somehow shameful and embarrassing. Why is this? Most guys would gladly whip it out and shove it up your tight ass, without a second thought. You only have to ask! Come on girls, live a little.
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618
Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
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Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618 |
Quote:
I envy everyone who confesses in the PRIDE section.
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618
Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
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Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618 |
Quote:
i envy people who can actually function first thing in the morning without drugs.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 67
25+ posts
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This just in from the ANGER files... Quote:
I'm pissed off at Comedy Centrals edit of a classic. It's "You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass?" not "You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?" THAT JUST MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!
Actually that makes perfect sense.
They're not Alps, they're Mountains.
Stupid Swiss.
I'm Kilgore Trout and I approve this message.
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