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Has any one gotten theres posted yet? I did a couple last night and one got posted. Quote:
06/10/2004 at 21:07:31
I have a thing for fat chicks with gigantic tits. The low self-esteem pretty much seals the deal. I want to smother myself in their massive cleavage.
now known as rex
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Quote:
06/10/2004 at 14:31:29
I have almost 23,000 posts at my own message board. Supposedly I have a life too, but the pictures I post are fake. I really work at a film developing center, not a software company. I steal peoples pictures because I'm afraid everyone else at the boards will laugh at me, but I'm sure they're lives are just as lame.
now known as rex
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you read my blog.
shame personified.
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Quote:
I once fucked a cantalope.
TK, just make the trip to Michigan. I'm sure Sneaky Bunny's offer will stand...
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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I hate the Chinese, but I love their food.
Quote:
steak, bacon, pork, ham, beef, you name it. i'd kill them myself if i could. anything for the divine taste of meat.
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Quote:
rexstardust said:
Quote:
06/10/2004 at 14:31:29
I have almost 23,000 posts at my own message board. Supposedly I have a life too, but the pictures I post are fake. I really work at a film developing center, not a software company. I steal peoples pictures because I'm afraid everyone else at the boards will laugh at me, but I'm sure they're lives are just as lame.
and I swear I had nothing to do with that!
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I farted the other day. It turned into a monster. A monster made entirely of mist, not unlike what a vampire would look like after transforming into a mist, yet this was a green fart mist, and caused instant death to those unlucky enough to encounter it. I feel incredibly guilty about the fart monster I manifested. Not even the mustard gas used in trench warfare during the first world war caused as horrible a death as my fart monster. If you see it, please cover your mouth and nose, and make any possible attempt to disperse it by turning on a ceiling fan.
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Quote:
06/11/2004 at 10:59:18
I love "nature". I hate it when "boys" invade my message boards.
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Quote:
I'm angry at my small penis. I'm in excellent shape for my height, but my dick is like 2 inches long. My girlfriend can't even hold it unless it's hard, and I can tell she's unhappy with it. I should just buy a strap-on and glue it to my balls.
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Quote:
Stupid Dogg said:
Quote:
rexstardust said:
Quote:
06/10/2004 at 14:31:29
I have almost 23,000 posts at my own message board. Supposedly I have a life too, but the pictures I post are fake. I really work at a film developing center, not a software company. I steal peoples pictures because I'm afraid everyone else at the boards will laugh at me, but I'm sure they're lives are just as lame.
and I swear I had nothing to do with that!
not only that, but he rounded UP on his post count.
poor deluded fool  ...
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There is this guy at my work, this big shot producer, who l know for a fact uses buttplugs, because one day when he was out to lunch and I was rifling through his desk looking for money and photos of his wife and stuff, I found them. They're big and pink and spongy feeling. I've since discovered that he slips into the cubicles after lunch and inserts them into his anus, spending the rest of the day smiling faintly and walking like a chicken. So last week I got a jar of extra hot chilli sauce and dipped his biggest buttplug in it and left it there to marinate while he was at lunch, removing it before he got back. Well I watched him going into the toilet and about thirty seconds later there was the biggest fuckin' scream you've ever heard and the next thing you know this guy comes staggering out of the cubicles holding his ass, his face red and puffy, tears rolling down his face... it was so great! The only thing that troubles me about all of this is the fact that l went home that night and jerked off thinking about it.... SAVE ME JEBUS!
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That's the best one ever!
I did a search for "cucumber" in the Lust section...
Quote:
02/28/2001 at 21:21:06
When my husband and I were first dating, we were at a family reunion at his parents house. I got horny and started to rub his cock. He got so horny he wanted to fuck me right there but the only place there was noone was out in the front yard. We took some food out there and told people we were going to have a little "alone time" so people left us alone. When we got out there my husband layed me on the ground and sucked my pussy until I came 5 TIMES!!! After he was done I sucked him off over and over until he couldn't stand it any longer. Just as we were done a female friend came over and told us she knew what we were doing. I was so mortified!! But then she asked my husband if she could fuck me with a cucumber. he said yes and held my hands while I got the best fucking of my life. Now she cums over 3 or 4 times a week and "plays" with us.
from the lust confessions
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03/01/2001 at 15:32:10
did i mention i am 23 and my girl also drove a cucumber up my pussy?
from the lust confessions
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04/23/2004 at 17:21:05
I couldn't wait for my fiancee to get home, and I don't have a vibrator so I confess that I used the cucumber that was supposed to go in the salad at dinner to get myself off. I came so damn hard and so damn fast!
from the lust confessions
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Quote:
Stupid Dogg said:
Quote:
06/11/2004 at 10:59:18
I love "nature". I hate it when "boys" invade my message boards.
I see mine are showing up.
now known as rex
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Quote:
06/11/2004 at 22:05:08
I got a dog for the sole purpose of blaming my farts on him.
Quote:
06/11/2004 at 21:17:52
I hate hippies. I want to kill them all. There nothing but unbathed socialists who leech onto hard working people. Take a shower commie!
If this guy ever finds out that these are all jokes he is going to be pissed.
now known as rex
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Quote:
06/11/2004 at 21:59:44
I am prideful of a few things. I am one of the rare women who actually cook every night, who actually loves to have sex and would every night if given the chance, actually loves to give blow jobs and would love to have a guy to share all of that with, am open-minded as hell and accepting of nearly everyone and everything. I am not bad to look at either. I am going to make a damn good girlfriend for the right man, and very soon. I have three wonderful prospects and am taking it slow this time. I hope I choose the right one. That is the only thing I seem to fuck up, picking the right men.
I must meet this woman! please gob don't let it be LLance!
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Quote:
08/13/2002 at 12:37:21
For the fear that I have damned the universe, I must confess my most grevious of sins. I'm the reason no one can complete the unified string theory. It is through my greed and pride for its creation that I have not shared it with mankind. As our darkest hour approaches, I now know that by not revealing all that I hold back, humanity is doomed. From the darkest, coldest regions of the universe, the terrible secret of space will make itself known to us. If only I had not seen the folly of my ways sooner, we would've been able to defend ourselves from what is coming. What comes from us controls the very core of time and space itself. For the longest time, we've considered gravity a force of pulling, recently, through no help from me, the scientific community has discovered that there is a second power... dark energy. Gravity that would push... no.. dare I say... shove? Those that seek our damnation wield this gravitational doom as if it were a mighty blade. They will not stop at merely destroying us, they will wipe us out from all time and memory itself. I'm sorry.
Neat.
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Quote:
Stupid Dogg said:
Quote:
06/11/2004 at 21:59:44
I am prideful of a few things. I am one of the rare women who actually cook every night, who actually loves to have sex and would every night if given the chance, actually loves to give blow jobs and would love to have a guy to share all of that with, am open-minded as hell and accepting of nearly everyone and everything. I am not bad to look at either. I am going to make a damn good girlfriend for the right man, and very soon. I have three wonderful prospects and am taking it slow this time. I hope I choose the right one. That is the only thing I seem to fuck up, picking the right men.
I must meet this woman! please gob don't let it be LLance!
Good to see some of mine come up 
-----
Shiny!
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Quote:
Stareena said:
Quote:
Stupid Dogg said:
Quote:
06/11/2004 at 21:59:44
I am prideful of a few things. I am one of the rare women who actually cook every night, who actually loves to have sex and would every night if given the chance, actually loves to give blow jobs and would love to have a guy to share all of that with, am open-minded as hell and accepting of nearly everyone and everything. I am not bad to look at either. I am going to make a damn good girlfriend for the right man, and very soon. I have three wonderful prospects and am taking it slow this time. I hope I choose the right one. That is the only thing I seem to fuck up, picking the right men.
I must meet this woman! please gob don't let it be LLance!
Good to see some of mine come up
I must meet you. 
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Quote:
01/03/2001 at 18:58:24
I dream of making John Linnell and John Flansburgh of the band They Might Be Giants each take one of my testicles in their mouths and then pull. I've tried this with my two dogs, taping my glasses onto one of them, but it doesn't work.
Quote:
05/28/2004 at 14:32:17
I had this really hot blonde girlfriend. She asked me to fuck her really hard one night. I did. She pooped on me.
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Is anyone else getting a blank screen when they go to the 'Confess' page on the site? I assume there's supposed to be a post box there, but I don't get one.
He fixes the cable?
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Quote:
07/05/2004 at 22:57:08
im a virgin white teen. i want to loose my virginity to some black chick. i was to bang her ass and her pussy. i love black people. i dont know any black people but i want to fuck one so bad. im jacking off right now to black orgy's. hell im not gay and often find myself wacking it to black dudes cause they have 9 feet dicks. never would do anything gay, makes me sick to think about it. but seeing a nude black dude gets me off almost as much as black slut ladies.
Quote:
07/04/2004 at 16:23:46
Every time i am fucking my boyfriend, i think of my girlfriend.
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Quote:
TK-069 said:
Is anyone else getting a blank screen when they go to the 'Confess' page on the site? I assume there's supposed to be a post box there, but I don't get one.
Its not working for me either.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Quote:
rex said:
Quote:
TK-069 said:
Is anyone else getting a blank screen when they go to the 'Confess' page on the site? I assume there's supposed to be a post box there, but I don't get one.
Its not working for me either.
you gotta pick a topic after clicking on the confess page.
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Duh. I should change my name to stupid rex.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Quote:
I say I don't like him, but I do. I think about him constantly, I hate it when he flirts with online girls he knows. Before, I used to make it pretty damn obvious that I liked him. Innuendos? I guess. I'm not ugly, I suppose I'm average... oh well.
Cowgirl, if you really like me, just tell me! 
He fixes the cable?
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Quote:
TK-069 said:
Cowgirl, if you really like me, just tell me!
Quote:
I say I don't like him, but I do. I think about him constantly, I hate it when he flirts with online girls he knows. Before, I used to make it pretty damn obvious that I liked him. Innuendos? I guess. I'm not ugly, I suppose I'm average... oh well.
-Brian A. Ortiz
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Damn. I was wondering about the abundance of muscles 'she" recently got...
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Quote:
07/13/2004 at 09:33:30
I ate McDonalds for breakfast, taco bell for lunch and wendy's for dinner. I ate half a box of ritz crackers but tried to make myself feel better telling myself it was ok cause they were whole wheat.
This sounds like something I would do.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Quote:
07/07/2004 at 22:16:24
Well, after over a year of planning it, I finally got to fuck my wife's sister. On Independence Day, our family's got together at our house and everyone else went to church but her (I never go). I wondered why it was that she didn't go and I'm still not sure. I brought her another cup of coffee to the couch, and after placing it on the coffee table, I knealt down in front of her, then leaned up for a kiss. She responded ny shoving her tongue into my mouth. After kissing her a while and rubbing her nice, big tits, I took her hand and led her to my wife's and my bedroom. I removed her blouse and released those huge tits from her bra. She started going wild as I sucked her nipples, so I got out of the bed and closed the windows. I wondered how long it would be before they all returned and started to get a little scared, but she grabbed me by the cock and pulled me back into bed. I returned to her breasts, but this time I started to rub her clit with my middle finger. She started to moan and buck, so I slid my finger into her soaking wet pussy, arcing it towards her belly, trying to hit her g-spot. I must have hit it, because see let out a big sigh and then a loud moan. My hand was starting to get wet, so I knew she was ready, and I had to hurry things along. I placed my knees on either side of her body and walked up to her, my cock arching and aching for her mouth. Much to my disappointment, she gave a terrible blow job. I didn't think it was possible to get a bad one, but I was. She looks so sexy, I thought that I was going to get the best cock-sucking of my life. In any event, I knew that there wasn't time to teach her, so I slid back down the bed and spread her legs. Even though she sucked at blow-jobs, my cock was still throbbing and ready. Turns out she's a lousy fuck, too. My wife gets much more excited when I fuck her, and if you can't get excited fucking your in-law while your family and you in-law's family are at church, I don't think that there's much hope. Thankfully, her pussy was nice and tight and I got it all wet when finger-fucking her, so I was able to cum. I pulled my cock out and layed it on her belly and then pulled her tits together to form a wall. I shot stream after stream of hot jism all over her belly and the bottom of her tits, squeezing out the last drops onto her snatch hair. Then I hopped out of bed and hurried to the bathroom to get a towel. First I wiped her pussy juices off of my cock, and then I cleaned all of the cum off of her tits, belly and pussy. We both quickly got dressed, and I ran out to the car and hid the towel in my trunk. When I got back into the house, she was back on the couch and, just as if nothing had happened, I brought her a fresh cup of coffee. The bad news is that I took a big risk and finally got to fuck my sister-in-law and it was aweful. Now I have the guilt of what I have done, and I don't know how to handle it next time I see her. I have absolutely no interest in fucking her again. I really don't even want to see her again. The good news is now I realize what a good cock-sucker my wife is, and how easy she is to please, and how well she pleases me. If only I could find a way to take back having fucked her sister.
FAKE!
He fixes the cable?
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he should have posted that at fanfiction.net
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Quote:
07/14/2004 at 14:05:52
i am obsessed with a famous musician...i want to have the dirtiest roughest sex possible with him.
Stareena loves her a little David Lee Roth every now and then!
He fixes the cable?
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Quote:
07/14/2004 at 10:58:30
The first woman I ever whacked off to was Vanessa Williams in her infamous Penthouse spread.
Quote:
07/13/2004 at 22:31:05
My foot was accidentally used to pleasure a woman once. We were sleeping in a large tent with other people, our bodies perpendicular to one another. I woke up in the middle of the night 'cause I felt my leg being pulled and noticed half-asleep that my right foot was nestled 'tween said woman's thighs! Dat's right! My five little piggies were visiting her little man in the boat! She was moaning softly and everything.Morning came, and she woke up pretty damn chipper. If only we were sleeping parallel...
He fixes the cable?
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Quote:
TK-069 said:
Quote:
07/07/2004 at 22:16:24
Well, after over a year of planning it, I finally got to fuck my wife's sister. On Independence Day, our family's got together at our house and everyone else went to church but her (I never go). I wondered why it was that she didn't go and I'm still not sure. I brought her another cup of coffee to the couch, and after placing it on the coffee table, I knealt down in front of her, then leaned up for a kiss. She responded ny shoving her tongue into my mouth. After kissing her a while and rubbing her nice, big tits, I took her hand and led her to my wife's and my bedroom. I removed her blouse and released those huge tits from her bra. She started going wild as I sucked her nipples, so I got out of the bed and closed the windows. I wondered how long it would be before they all returned and started to get a little scared, but she grabbed me by the cock and pulled me back into bed. I returned to her breasts, but this time I started to rub her clit with my middle finger. She started to moan and buck, so I slid my finger into her soaking wet pussy, arcing it towards her belly, trying to hit her g-spot. I must have hit it, because see let out a big sigh and then a loud moan. My hand was starting to get wet, so I knew she was ready, and I had to hurry things along. I placed my knees on either side of her body and walked up to her, my cock arching and aching for her mouth. Much to my disappointment, she gave a terrible blow job. I didn't think it was possible to get a bad one, but I was. She looks so sexy, I thought that I was going to get the best cock-sucking of my life. In any event, I knew that there wasn't time to teach her, so I slid back down the bed and spread her legs. Even though she sucked at blow-jobs, my cock was still throbbing and ready. Turns out she's a lousy fuck, too. My wife gets much more excited when I fuck her, and if you can't get excited fucking your in-law while your family and you in-law's family are at church, I don't think that there's much hope. Thankfully, her pussy was nice and tight and I got it all wet when finger-fucking her, so I was able to cum. I pulled my cock out and layed it on her belly and then pulled her tits together to form a wall. I shot stream after stream of hot jism all over her belly and the bottom of her tits, squeezing out the last drops onto her snatch hair. Then I hopped out of bed and hurried to the bathroom to get a towel. First I wiped her pussy juices off of my cock, and then I cleaned all of the cum off of her tits, belly and pussy. We both quickly got dressed, and I ran out to the car and hid the towel in my trunk. When I got back into the house, she was back on the couch and, just as if nothing had happened, I brought her a fresh cup of coffee. The bad news is that I took a big risk and finally got to fuck my sister-in-law and it was aweful. Now I have the guilt of what I have done, and I don't know how to handle it next time I see her. I have absolutely no interest in fucking her again. I really don't even want to see her again. The good news is now I realize what a good cock-sucker my wife is, and how easy she is to please, and how well she pleases me. If only I could find a way to take back having fucked her sister.
FAKE!
I bet the guy found the site in his wife's bookmark and posted that to make her feel good.
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Quote:
Not proud said:
Once when my girl was giving me head, i slapped her across the face with it, just for the hell of it. She got pissed so i said it was on accident. I figure the world needs guys like me, you know.... to test the boundaries.
Quote:
Not proud said:
i ate a sex baby whilst drunk on tiger love. i didnt think that an envious slut toad would reek vegeance on true touch but love strong pulled through and saved ringers strike partner. shame.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Not Proud:
i like my eyebrows
Ah, the decadence of pride...
And that's terrible.
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080 |
He fixes the cable?
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 5,142
5000+ posts
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5000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 5,142 |
Your suspicions were well founded, TK: Quote:
He was right. I do love the dog more that I loved him.
And that's terrible.
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot 15000+ posts
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faggot 15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106 |
Quote:
Stupid Dogg said:
I farted the other day. It turned into a monster. A monster made entirely of mist, not unlike what a vampire would look like after transforming into a mist, yet this was a green fart mist, and caused instant death to those unlucky enough to encounter it. I feel incredibly guilty about the fart monster I manifested. Not even the mustard gas used in trench warfare during the first world war caused as horrible a death as my fart monster. If you see it, please cover your mouth and nose, and make any possible attempt to disperse it by turning on a ceiling fan.
HEY! That's my comic! I'm fuckin' FAMOUS!
Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!
Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0
"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921
"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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He tastes of America 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080 |
It's probably the disgruntled spirit of the last man you let live in your ass. What do I tell you, Acorn? Keep it partly open to get a good amount of air in. People can't live breathin' off of methane!
He fixes the cable?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,820
cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 45,820 |
Quote:
notproud.com said:
Today I ate a whole bag of tostidos ad a jar of cheesy salsa spread...basically spicy cheeze whiz. To top it off I am drinking Ouzo (which is like Lambardo or Sambuca) Now my farts smell like rotting eggs and they make my eyes water, I'm going to bed so I can fart in peace.
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